Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Why You're Never Going to See Pictures of Me on LinkedIn...& No, It's Not Because I'm Ugly

As you may know, it always disgusts me to see job ads posted on Craig's List where applicants are demanded to send in pictures of themselves. First off, if it's not an acting/modeling job or something where your looks are a part of it then you're announcing your intent to discriminate in ways that are against federal & state labor law. Second, what about actual SKILLS? Do you want some pretty little airhead or someone who's got some common sense? Since when did banks or law firms become fashion shows? I could point out plenty of people working in non-entertainment jobs who shouldn't be there if we're going to base employment on physical attractiveness. Anyone over a certain age would be out the door unless they'd had plastic surgery or a workout routine like that of the average celebrity. Third, whose standard are you using if you're basing job placement on looks? In entertainment, the answer is easy enough: the designer, production company, or whoever is producing the project.

The real world doesn't have producers & CEOs still have to obey labor laws.

Lastly, in the entertainment world there's artistic merit to hiring based on looks. What merit is there for doing it in a personal assistant job or a law firm associate or even a paralegal?

I read this article yesterday & it made me incensed.

Let me tell you that it's not just ugly people, minorities or old timers who don't want to display their pictures in job applications. No one would call me ugly (I'm industry pretty, remember?) & I won't do it. Here's why:

1. Unless it's a job where my looks actually matter, then WHY do you care? If they don't affect my abilities to perform the job at hand, it's not relevant. If it's icing on the cake, just think of it as some bonus in hiring me & not someone else. Just because someone is as pretty as me doesn't mean they can work as well as I can.

2. I have gotten through this life & earned opportunities without having to resort to my looks. I didn't use it to get through school or get my higher level entertainment positions. Again, they're a bonus to work with me specifically vs. "you must be a goddess to work here." I'd like to think I got my opportunities & grades because of my brain, not because anyone secretly lusted after me.

3. It's unprofessional. To me, using a picture is mixing business with pleasure & I'm happily married. Me using a picture for a non-looks based job is tantamount to me saying I'm sexually available. If I'm going to prostitute myself, I may as well just be a real prostitute & work on my own so I get to keep more of the money.

4. It perpetuates sexism in the workplace. One of my Twitter followers retweeted this story about a lawyer who was hiring a secretary to be a prostitute willing to engage in threesomes with his law firm partner.

Attorneys like this should be disbarred, no questions asked. Can we say "sexual predator?" If this guy is so hard up for sex, he should just hire a prostitute. Granted, this means legalizing prostitution (which I have no issue with as long as it's regulated, children aren't involved & we're talking about 100% consenting adults). Perhaps he ought to try dating, getting a mistress or doing something else that doesn't involve sexual harassment of some poor woman who's just trying to earn an honest living.

Saw this shit firsthand, as you may recall so I take serious offense to this kind of thing. Not to mention that whole higher standard of conduct for attorneys? If we toss out domestic abusers, guys like this should definitely have to go. It seems to me he's broken the law.

Another way it perpetuates sexism? If there are other females in the office, this guy has just told them (in so many words) that if they want a chance for advancement or to not get lost in the next round of layoffs, they're going to have to put out. Isn't the job market shitty enough for women (lower wages, history of discrimination & harassment) without allowing assholes like this to use their power position to rape them? If there are strip clubs that don't make their dancers have sex with people to keep working, why should anyone get to demand that of women not working in the adult industry (I don't know enough about the employment experience at strip clubs to determine whether anyone has to do that & we can save the ethics of requiring dancers to do it for another day)?

5. If you're that curious, you can find out for yourself what I look like. There's no duty on me to make it easier for anyone to find out what I look like.

6. I'm extremely wary of strangers so if you approach me in real life & I don't know you, I might hurt you thinking you're out to harm, harass or otherwise piss me off in some way. I have had stalkers before & that was long before working in this business. One can never be too careful.

I don't understand this trend of telling people to put pictures of themselves on social media profiles viewed by employers or adding these to resumes. Have we forgotten about racial discrimination? Age discrimination? Gender discrimination? Religious discrimination (you may be wearing religious attire in your picture)? As a potential employer, I don't want to know this stuff or open myself or my company up to being accused of it.

It would serve these jerks right to be sued for employment discrimination & have to pay a fortune to a person of color, old timer or some other discriminated person. That would teach a lesson & send a clear message to other companies. This Eve Tahmincioglu needs to remove her head from her butt & see the real world for what it is. Employers aren't your friends & certainly aren't above prejudice or bias. Let's save it for in-person meetings.

I don't mind posting a picture of some cartoon character that looks like me or a picture I took or something close to my heart since it does represent me in a sense. Real pics of me, though? Not on your life! You want one? Take my picture if you interview me.

However, realize that this is what casting companies do when trying to place actors (chiefly, extras) for work. If you're not a casting company, then you need to rethink asking applicants for pictures.

Monday, November 28, 2011

The Great Decision on Laser Eye Surgery is Now Settled

Despite a lifelong love of carrots, I still managed to inherit the cruddy eyesight from my father's side of the family. Granted I shouldn't complain too much about inheriting things from that side considering my grandmother was allegedly Miss Atlanta GA back in the day (though I can't prove it since I don't know her maiden name or her first name; you might be able to believe it based on my looks or those of my aunt's when she was younger--I apparently look similar to her as a young woman).

I also got the better bra size (in fact, I'm the Dolly Parton of my immediate family even though I'm not a size that caused backaches or childhood awkwardness). And yes, despite not being flat chested or fat as a young woman, I still couldn't buy a date with any guy I had a crush on. I'm pretty sure I could have shown up naked & still gotten laughed at.

One fact about eyesight that you non-intellectual types will be happy to hear: if you have to do a lot of reading for school, your vision degrades. I was a smart kid when I was younger so my vision was probably made worse by my having to study. I knew someone in college who once told us that her vision improved after she graduated and didn't have to study all the time.

Now you may remember reading that I didn't get a driver's license until I was 20. One of the reasons for this was the fact that I was being required to get glasses for driving. I fucking HATE how I look in glasses. Honestly, I feel I can't pull that look off & think I look like my father in drag if I wear them. To this day, you'll almost never see me wearing them in public (sunglasses don't count since they hide the eyes).

My husband says I look good in them but he looks at me with love in his eyes so I feel he's biased (yes, I know I'm lucky to have a man who does look at me in that way instead of seeing me as a crazy, pale psycho covered in freckles). I've yet to get an opinion from someone who works in the entertainment industry & has to evaluate people based on their looks.

Nor have I gotten an opinion from a law school friend who still seems to have eyes for me despite the fact that he doesn't stand a chance against my hubby. He's been rather blunt on women's looks (I've heard him do it) so if he told me I looked good, I'd be forced to take his word for it. You may wonder why this guy is still a friend. It's mostly because he reminds me a lot of my single self & because I don't feel he's using me for anything. He was actually nice to me in law school & didn't seem to have an issue with me not being from some millionaire family. Plus he wasn't a grind & finding people in law school who aren't obsessed with the whole rat race is like trying to find a pearl in a bed of oysters.

In college, I started wearing contacts. My vision had been getting progressively worse until perhaps in more recent years when I got out of law school & didn't have to do so much studying. Until my eye doctor told me I had to take it easy wearing contacts, I would never the glasses I got under my husband's "eh" vision plan (I didn't even have glasses that were the prescription I needed when I was in college). You can only get a check-up every 2 years & they don't cover contacts or the contact lens exam at the eye doctor's office. I'm used to getting yearly check-ups and coverage for contacts. Plus, because I don't like how I look in glasses I don't want to spend a bunch of money on them.

Maybe if I saw leopard print frames or something, I'd reconsider but having me wear them full time would be an impossible sale. I feel I'd also be living up to some nerd stereotype.

I also hate that my own glasses are leaving a nasty imprint on the side of my nose where they sit on your face. Not like I don't have enough skin issues, right?

Amidst this background, I definitely considered laser eye surgery. I'd heard a lot about LASIK and thought "Hmmm, that might be a good idea. I wouldn't have to keep paying for contacts or wear glasses." However, didn't really know anyone who'd had it and still had success from it years later. I heard about it not being very effective, dangerous side effects from it & the like.

Recently, I saw online deals to get a dramatic discount on LASIK. I saw one from a second provider today (one who I didn't learn had been sued for medical malpractice) & thought long and hard about it. Seeing this site today changed my mind. Seeing that list of reasons not to get it clinched my choice for good.

What good does it do me to get eye surgery when my vision is just going to go to pot in 10 years or so anyway? And if I STILL have to wear glasses afterwards, there's zero point to it. Seems like there's too much risk here & it hasn't been perfected.

While I'm still going to complain about paying for contacts (part of the reason I got a tubal was to avoid constantly paying for birth control pills or dealing with riskier methods), I guess I'll have to deal with it until I get decent vision coverage again. I can get old with grace but I'd rather do it when I actually look old instead of when people are mistaking me for a law student, a college student or even a high school kid. When I was at Monday Night Law last week, multiple people thought I was a student. I've been licensed in NY for 4 years now. It's not enough that I'm 10 years old in law land. Do I have to be 5 now?!

I kind of like that this is a decision I can put to rest. For the record, glasses don't make me look older if you think this vanity is connected to an obsession with looking young. I actually wanted to be older when I was little & if you card me for something 18 & up (absent a policy where everyone's getting carded), I get offended. It's more like "I look as I do, I can't change it & society idealizes it so I may as well embrace it."

Now for some sleep to prepare for that job interview tomorrow. Seems that in the grand tradition of jobs that fell through, the one I got earlier this month is going the same route. What else is it when you do what you're supposed to, no one follows up with you & no one is reachable by phone or e-mail? It's the stuff that makes for great stories & total life frustration.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Getting To Know the iPhone 4, Too Much Politics and More

It's no secret that I have a very cynical view of politics & politicians. Any smart political candidate would want to have me around since I know how one becomes cynical & how to get people to give a crap about some issue. I like to think of myself as the crash that will lull you out of your complacent sleep. I sort of view it as my goal in life to shake things up, not be a "yes" woman & tell unpleasant truths to people who never hear them but actually should + would benefit from hearing them.

I have a friend (I won't say who) who lately, has been posting political diatribes. Now you'd think this person would just create a rant blog like yours truly. If you come here, you know you're going to get rants. Since I agree with people's rights to have their own opinions & have plenty of people in my life who don't follow lockstep behind every cause I support or reject, I didn't de-friend this person like some other people apparently did because of it.

However, after seeing more of it today, I'm wondering whether some conservative leaning political pundit has hacked that social media account. It's been EVERY SINGLE status update. That gets old for me.

A) If you want to rant about politics, create a political rant blog. That way, people know what to expect & what they're getting. People friending you on a social media network aren't necessarily expecting that. While I take great care in who I friend on certain sites, I don't post about the same thing ad nauseaum. I try not to overwhelm folks with Occupy Wall Street stuff or anything else (though I pass on important links).

B) I do believe it takes all types in the world but I'd rather debate folk in person. That way, you can catch tone, subtleties & things you miss in the written word. It's too easy to think you're being patronized, insulted, etc. when the other person didn't actually mean it that way.

C) I wonder if this person has considered backlash to career. The person works in the entertainment business & has a similar path to mine (though I've been an attorney longer & this person has done more than me). However, this individual doesn't strike me as someone who is so hard core set on their views that they are willing to risk alienating people. This is not someone who did humorous rants or came up with hyperbolic suggestions on how to reform things (in other words, if you were the average person who saw these, I'm not sure you'd find humor there). I as a colleague would certainly be influenced as to who I'd refer or not refer. I'd certainly not refer anyone who loudly favors the ethic of the Occupy protests. If you think I'm being a hypocrite, I disagree.

You might disagree with me but at least I try to entertain & not speak with judgment. This person, not so much with these updates. You felt like you were dealing with that fundie cousin at Thanksgiving or something.

As for my Thanksgiving, it was actually decent. Went to the in-laws again but next year, we have to go to NC. For one thing, my husband's finally got a work schedule where he can get the time off (in over 5 years of marriage, we've never spent a holiday at my parents' home as a married couple--yeah, I'm still pissed about that). Second, my sister recently learned that she was pregnant. If things go well, we'll have another niece or nephew to corrupt & spoil (by corrupt, I mean teaching that kid to think for himself/herself, believe in doing anything (s)he puts his/her mind to and that if I could do what I'm doing, so can (s)he). If it doesn't, everyone will be bummed out & depressed. Either way, I'll have to go. We're hoping for a girl this time to balance out the male/female ratio. This will add up to 6 nieces & nephews for hubby & me. No way do I need to be having kids.

Yesterday, I managed to avoid Black Friday shopping hell & am thankful that I did. I know people who did in smaller places who said they couldn't see going out in it in a major city. Since I don't have small kids & still remember the ethic of What Would Jesus Buy? (you can also become a fan of the Rev. Billy on Facebook), I'm just not into shopping for things I don't really need. Even coming up with a Christmas list means me thinking of things I will use, stores that sell things I will actually buy & of course, considering asking for things we think are too expensive for us to buy. However, people in my family plan this way in advance. We've even finished all retail shopping at this point so we don't have to go out in that shopping hell. I'd be interested to see how much the Internet has displaced brick & mortar shopping over the years, especially during the holidays.

Wouldn't you know the dumb asses at the MTA decided to shut down my local subway line this weekend? Last year, they shut it down during the weekend of Comic Con. Do these idiots think no one in my area goes shopping? Are they trying to harm the city's tourism & commercial dollars? My area's never going to be some great alternative to Manhattan until they stop with that BS. The only good thing is I live in walking distance of another subway line that is running so I'm not at the mercy of a shuttle bus.

Yesterday, I finally discovered how to create & put custom ringtones on my iPhone. I'd been able to get the ringtones on there as music but not get them added as actual ringtones in the ringtones section of the phone. Figuring this out has been significant for me, along with the discovery that you can use apps to create ringtones from your own songs. I hate being at the mercy of big business or having to get something everyone else likes but not songs that are more obscure & that I'd rather have. I generally also like my ringtones instrumental & made some great ones, including some from the opening song in Office Space. No store will cater to my tastes & preferences so it's best that people like me get to create their own stuff.

Today, I've continued working on the ringtone project. One thing I really hate about iTunes is that it seems to be all or nothing with files. For instance, I created test ringtones. Why can't I just delete them with a right click or a button, though?! I don't like how they came out so I don't want them. iTunes seems to make it more complicated than it should be to get music on your iPod or iPhone or get rid of songs. That's something I really don't like about it. Once you get the hang of it, though, you're good. I feel like I'm going to have to keep a written tutorial for myself, though since it's not one of those programs where the obvious solution works.

Oh, and I continue doing video blogs periodically on Mobli. If you want to find them, I'm under "angryredheadlaw". Don't think I got that hosting job but when I saw an ad later stating that it would be unpaid, I think it's for the best. The saga that is my life continues.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

My Love/Hate Relationship With The Legal Field

I feel that way about a lot of it. One of NYCLA's committees and the Cardozo School of Law Indie Film Clinic folk are shining examples.

There are things I like about NYCLA:

1. Cheaper CLE courses
2. Cheaper membership fees & more flexible terms for the unemployed
3. More dedication to get with modern times & actually use technology instead of just hopping on the bandwagon
4. Some great staff, including Stewart Aaron, who I know through the City Bar Entertainment Committee. He even contributed to my company's latest attempt at crowd funding though the campaign ultimately failed. In short, he rocks!
5. Perhaps a bit more accessibility to higher ups than to people at City Bar
6. I've been told this one is also more progressive in ideas & open to new things than City Bar; I see some of that

Here's what I really don't like: the total lack of respect. I found out that NYCLA's Art Committee is seeking entries for the 2nd Annual Film Festival. I submitted some films last year; 2 were shown & 1 was told her film would be shown in the spring (because last year, the festival was in the Fall).

My friend whose film was supposed to be shown in the Spring never heard a word from them again. I even asked today to make sure; never heard a damn thing.

While there was a whole article in there lauding one particular film I don't recall seeing as part of this series, there was no mention of any plans to screen her film & it did have a legal theme. To my knowledge, no one even told her they'd changed their minds.

This just pisses me off since first off, it comes on top of having to complain when I was not given credit for submitting the initial short film that came in (whose application I personally sent in for the filmmaker I nominated). My company got a decent welcome & treatment when we came in the next month but I have to wonder if it's because I threatened to pull us out of there after not getting recognized for nominating the first film that I got into the series.

The total snubbing of my friend really makes me look back & wonder about that.

Second, it's disrespect to me. I'm putting my neck out there & vouching for this organization to MY contacts, who don't know this place from anywhere else. Many of my contacts have things you're never going to see in some mainstream theater. They have art & I don't vouch for folk who don't have talent or a product I like.

As for more disrespect to me, I was told that the Indie Film Clinic at Cardozo would be considering attorneys to volunteer there this past fall.

Okay, first off I've been in the indie film game for 4 years at my own company!! I've been doing things that most attorneys don't get to do & I'm perceived in a way they aren't: I'm not just some lawyer in a suit (good luck finding one that doesn't look frumpy on me). I'm a creative person MYSELF & have cred for it--I never even had to ask anyone to see my creative works. I actually know how to talk to creative types & make things clear without the legalese or elitist attitude.

I'm actually IN that world! I'm not some outsider looking in. I know the fucking culture, something I really don't see the average law firm attorney having! Most of you aren't going to have executive knowledge.

As I know law schools are obsessed with GPA, law review participation & where you went to law school (despite the head of this clinic saying they would look at one's practical experience in selection choices), it seems to me that you're not going to get effective help here if you're an indie filmmaker.

I've never recommended it to anyone & I still won't. Indie filmmaking continues to change & what worked 10 years ago doesn't necessarily work today (this was even stated by the presenter at my Aspiring Filmmakers' Bootcamp, himself a well known indie filmmaker). Unless you're a lawyer who actually has some creative cache in the business (prior or current experience in an entertainment role, close friends within it, etc.), you don't know shit about getting that client trust & respect. Hollywood is also very different from the indie world. I don't know of many attorneys in law firms who'd bother to research the indie film culture & I don't mean "indie" like the movie aired on IFC. I'm speaking of true, underground indie that most people don't know about & you have to actually FIND to know about.

Who else finds something wrong with an indie film clinic where an attorney that actually WORKS in the indie film industry as executive + lawyer is not being contacted to get involved? That elitist BS doesn't fly in my world. No one cares about your Harvard law degree & if you bring it up, you'll be announcing yourself as a privileged douchebag who can't help the average indie filmmaker. No one's cared about where I went to law school & used it as a basis for my worth as a person like attorneys will do to others.

Hearing about these examples, you can see where my loyalties lie & why they lie where they do. I'm all about my creative/entertainment people, at least the ones who aren't jerks to me or completely unprofessional. Seems that's a much smaller number than the amount of attorneys who have disrespected me.

My involving legal stuff in anything is usually out of the desire to help my entertainment people, not legal organizations (individual attorneys are a different story since I never refer people I despise). While I think the President of NYCLA is awesome & would say the same about some people within that association, I don't really want to join the LinkedIn groups or follow them on Facebook or anything. To me, that sort of thing feels like a public validation of "you're cool." I just can't do that, especially with this disregard to my friend & to me. I can't do it for City Bar either.

I think the concept of an indie film legal clinic is a good one but that clinic should be headed by attorneys with actual entertainment industry experience who know that personality (including motivation) & experience trumps law school BS that only means something to clueless morons who deserve the incompetence they get from hiring based on such standards (I'm talking to you, BigLaw). Academics & BigLaw refugees who don't have entertainment experience should stay out of leadership roles unless they can drop the snottiness & elitism of those worlds + learn the indie culture. That's the only way such a clinic stands a chance of being effective & encouraging the desired clientele to show up.

Crap like this fuels me to surpass them professionally & personally. One day, these assholes will be clamoring to talk to me & I will have only two words to say. You can guess what they are.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

How to Get Shot By a Stranger: My Continuing Venom for Most SUV Drivers in the 'Burbs

Having gotten my driver's license in college and spending more of that time driving in Atlanta (a major city), I'll admit to having some road rage. In fact, my entire family has a degree of road rage. See, unlike many people of their age, my parents do not drive "like Maw Maw & Pap Paw." They HATE people who drive like that on the roads! Hell, my father is a former truck driver & owned a black Camaro. He's also the one who ended up teaching me how to drive after I felt it was impossible & had a fear of doing it.

My sister also ended up getting in numerous car accidents as a teen (including a near total of her new car when I was a senior & her front seat passenger, weeks before the prom; luckily, we were not injured as if the car that hit us had been going much faster, we could have crashed into a nearby power pole). Her driving scared the Hell out of me when we were younger but now, she still doesn't play around & will freely curse out the slow drivers. She doesn't drive like anybody's fat, old, harpy, bitchy soccer mom!! If you lumped her into that category, she'd probably hurt you (she's also a natural redhead & we're all nuts, remember). Oh, and she's got a yellow Mustang since like my father, she likes a car that has "guts".

So, while I do admit to having road rage & that my family does have lead feet at least we will not be the people doing 30 mph on a busy interstate unless there's a damn good reason for it (weather, construction or the traffic in front of us). These are the people other drivers want to kill, especially when they have things to do & there's no reason for it.

Oh, and if you are a man who drives like this? You will NOT pick up women that way!!! You will not impress young chicks & all you will succeed in doing is pissing off the rest of the motorists. Take it from an industry certified hottie. We are also mindful of cops and seek to drive with traffic instead of causing jams & bottlenecks.

This is contrary to the aim of many drivers I see in areas outside of major cities, where you will be gutted like a fish if you cause traffic problems. City cops may even join in if they're not too busy raiding peaceful protests.

Today, my husband & I were traveling to Long Island. He was driving, as he normally does, and we were getting off an exit from one busy parkway to a busy highway. The particular highway we were trying to merge onto was a particularly busy section where cars travel at least 40 mph. Behind my husband is a moron driving a silver SUV.*

* Let me pause this story for a moment to share my feelings on SUV drivers. On the whole, I fucking HATE them. Unless you have a large family, own a business where you have to carry lots of things like a construction company & most importantly, know how to drive one, you've got no business having one. The location issue is irrelevant where I live. I don't mind sitting in them but I would hate driving one since they guzzle gasoline (isn't it high enough?), you can't see well in them & most people can't park them to save their lives (that was said by an ex of mine who owned an SUV; however, he had a painting company & kids so he did have justification to own one). You can't see around them in traffic & I just hate to see them coming. I also agree that it seems many drivers have these vehicles to compensate for a very small penis since they will zoom in them, blast high beams at you if you don't want to be their speed shields & generally behave like pricks on the road, especially in Long Island.

Getting back to the story, this moron nearly rear ends my husband then cuts in front of him. In the middle of this busy highway, the dumbass slows down. My husband tries to pass, figuring maybe he's just some clueless turd who doesn't know where he's going (as there are many in Long Island who will stop in the middle of the street & make no effort to pull over). Dumbass decides to weave in the lanes, slowing down all the while. We're wondering what in God's name is going on when all of a sudden, this idiot stops in the middle of Sunrise Highway! If you are familiar with NY driving, you can already see the absurdity of this.

Then, when you think this story can't get better, the driver comes out of the car and moves toward us. This is some little punk guy, no more than 25 if that. My husband reaches down, tells me to get my phone out (which I do since it's looking like it's time to call the cops on this douche) and I feel for some weapons to make this guy sorry if he dares to try anything.

All of a sudden, before getting too close to our car, the guy turns around, goes back to the car, starts it and continues on like nothing happened. He goes very slowly, heads over to the right hand lane (we were in the left lane & he's had to cross about 2 lanes to get where he goes), then turns off at the VERY FIRST right turn at a major intersection.

I'm watching this guy like a hawk as this goes on because I'm not going to be followed and then harmed.

I wasn't aware of it at the time but my husband said he reached down to make the guy think he was getting a weapon like a gun. He thinks someone was in the SUV & yelled some sense into this hothead so he'd back off. With that quick turning, you have to wonder if this guy may have thought we'd take action.

The answer: hell yes!! Believe it or not, I'm not the sort of person who starts things. As my mom says "Don't start nothing, won't be nothing." My husband is the same way. He was merely trying to merge onto the highway, not tailgating this guy or doing something anyone would consider antagonistic.

But if you fuck with me or my family, you will get yours & I will not be responsible for what happens.

Furthermore, if I ever saw someone even leave a scratch on my spouse, that person would be dead in a heartbeat. My life would no longer have value to me if he was killed or got hurt. No gun or anything would phase me at that point; you could call it the same kind of reaction I had when I saw my ex-friend's husband kick that cat carrier. That fucker would be praying for the police to show up because let me tell you, you don't do that to someone's true love if you don't want to have your nuts chopped off & fed to you or something equally grotesque/scary/disturbing happening.

Especially when that person is already off mentally (you can make this argument for most creative people) & knows they've got no chance at finding anyone who could top that relationship. I would be warning any police officer on that scene that they're going to need to restrain me because I will murder such a person with my bare hands out of uncontrolled rage. If that person fled, it would become my mission to hunt him/her down like a dog & take care of that for my own soul.

I'm sure you'd see empty, soulless eyes if you ever did something like that to us. No one messes w/my man & I know he feels the same about me.

This is why for all my strong views and my "enforcer" cred, I really don't get into fights or conflicts very much. If I have to resort to physical violence, it's going to be one of those "We're taking this to the woodshed & one of us isn't coming back" moments. If I take on any endeavor, it's going to be done right or not at all.

Now if you think I sound scary without even having a gun, imagine how many people on the planet may feel just like me & have far fewer pro-social impulses to obey the law or even basic regard for human beings. Might you want to consider that some person in a car might have a loaded weapon and shoot first, thinking you're going to harm them? Or even just shoot you in rage? I've read & heard enough stories about shootings over parking spaces in mall parking lots to know better than to go approach a stranger like that.

I would dare any law enforcement officer to punish a driver in my husband's situation if (s)he shot or killed someone in the position of this random asshole who stopped in the middle of the highway for no good reason & then got out of his car to approach him/her. I don't recall a law that says potential crime victims have to sit there & take it + I think if it happened, that person would end up like Bernard Goetz (hopefully without the racism aspect though I think an asshole is an asshole is an asshole). I would want to help that person find a good lawyer.

By the way, today's shithead was white. I predict he won't be living much longer if he keeps that up.

I also find it ironic that this happened in Long Island, an area where many people live in fear of the "big, scary city" that is Queens, Manhattan, Brooklyn & the Bronx (maybe you can get Long Islanders to go to Staten Island since Staten Island is more suburban than the rest of the boroughs, I don't know). Getting some Long Islanders into NYC is literally like pulling teeth. In fact, those people will swear to you that Long Island is a safe place while NYC is a bastion of crime, violence & in short, a hellhole. Never mind some of the more grizzly crimes that have happened in Long Island, especially recently.

These are the people I think should be trading places with people in the Midwest, the South and other smaller regions where people there would go to NYC all the time if they lived in Long Island but don't have the means to get there. The skittish Long Islanders are wasted living there & should be living in the middle of nowhere or in smaller towns since they'd benefit more from it in my view. I'd have killed for this kind of exchange myself as a North Carolinian who didn't even get to visit NYC until college.

This furthers my belief that Long Island drivers in SUVs are assholes. Now we can add "morons who want to die or serve jail time" to that list. We were about to call the cops but didn't get the plate # & the person didn't follow us so we considered it a win.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The 1st Amendment is Dead

Now, I'm even more certain of this considering this story where the NY Supreme Court has ruled in favor of Fascist Bloomberg.

Gee, last I checked the 1st Amendment didn't have an expiration date on it. It didn't have an addendum in there that said "You only have rights until others get upset or offended." I don't like seeing women with their nipples hanging out; if I'm a government body, does that give me a license to hand out bras or demand them to cover up with the threat of arrest & jail?? Maybe I should also get to beat the shit out of deadbeat parents who don't watch their kids without punishment because THAT offends me.

Michael Stallman just confirmed that the 1st Amendment is dead & I hope he knows he just signed off on bloody revolution. JFK even said it, "Those who make peaceful protest impossible make violent revolution inevitable."

How's about all you politicians shut the fuck up about patriotism, rights and any of that noise? How about you also start repealing more laws since rich people never get punished for anything unless they harm other rich people (see Bernie Madoff)? Even Congress gets to engage in insider trading while Martha Stewart & anyone else is punished for it.

What are you peaceniks going to do? I know I don't trust Fascist Bloomberg (since he's not worthy of my respect as I never voted for him, he's never acted in MY interest or did anything that helped me; he's nothing but a saboteur). I also know I don't trust the NYPD, or as I will refer to them from this day forward "the JP Morgan Chase Bank rent-a-cops". The law is clearly bought & sold by Bloomberg & his little cronies. Personally, I subscribe to the Malcolm X approach: "By any means necessary."

If these people are serious & are smart, they will not let these corrupt mayors & politicos piss on their rights. They will not cower or just play "peaceful" while getting beaten up anyway. I do hope immigrants are getting the message & people see what's happening. Are you free in the United States? HA! What a fucking joke! You're hilarious if you think the Constitution or the 1st Amendment mean a damn thing to these assholes; clearly it does not.

The establishment cheerleaders who continue feeding us this fiction need to get the hell out of here & move to a "real" repressive regime. Go to Libya or some other country where thinking is unnecessary. Then, you can watch your shitty reality shows while the rest of us do something productive. At least go here to find out what's actually going on instead of regurgitating Fox News or some other mainstream outlet.

Ironic I'm saying the 1st Amendment is dead when we still have online blogs & so forth. When we still have television shows independent of government control. All I can say is don't get comfortable. Government control will be more obvious & it's coming much sooner than you think. Consider the latest attempt to censor the Internet via SOPA. Here's a way to fight back.

Are you also outraged at the douchebags in NYC? Well, there is one city council member who is a human being. This gentleman was at the censorship crusade & even got injured at the hands of the JP Morgan Chase rent-a-cops. I made a special effort to call their offices & thank him for participating as well as supporting free speech rights. I was also happy to see in that AP story linked above that there are some government officials who aren't too busy sucking the collective rich's dick to represent ALL their constituents, not just the ones who contributed the most campaign money.

I encourage people to contact these offices & thank these folks. At the same time, here are some links to contact Fascist Bloomberg & others.

Key members of the Bloomberg Administration, including the head rent-a-cop who you can send an e-mail to.

You can also try calling the general City Hall number (you can get this by clicking on the name of a deputy mayor) or using this. I warn you, they just expect you to go to 311 since Bloomberg refuses to be accountable to the people; maybe his special friends have some private number to reach him? If you get it & post it publicly, you'll be my hero + ally. If you out him as a homosexual, my husband won't be surprised.

I also wonder whether Eric Schneiderman, the state Attorney General, knew about all this little raid & decided not to go to City Bar tonight because he didn't want to face the heat from the intelligent of us who would call him to task on it. Seems an awful lot to me like he knew something & will continue to let rich people ride shotgun in NYC, including Fascist Bloomberg. If he thinks people will have forgotten by the end of February, he may be in for a rude awakening. If you're so inclined, you can make a comment here. Do I sound paranoid? Not really if you consider the history of corruption in NY.

Please don't say a word to me about the Constitution or the 1st Amendment having real teeth or effectiveness. The US is as much a fascist regime as any other & I'll maintain that stance unless or until there's a new sheriff in town who's not from the same old corrupt boardroom, Congress or other institute of insulation designed for the scum of the Earth. I think the right to speak anonymously is only going to be more important & it's high time to go outside the system. These jerks had also better pray very hard that I end up financially successful or they're going to be very, very sorry. See other entries for what happens to smart people when you leave them with no way to actually do something GOOD in society.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

The "Image" of Lawyer & The Social Justice a.k.a. "We Are the PC Police" Movement

Perception vs. reality is a dichotomy that many newer attorneys surely have to be able to relate to. Public perception, especially among non-lawyers, seems like it hasn't caught up to the archetype of "$100K+ in debt, no jobs or job paying less than a Wal-Mart manager's yearly salary". It gets even more unusual if you're a committee member of a bar association committee that has many veteran attorneys as active members. Being a business owner also seems to drive this perception vs. reality issue.

Then again, if you went back to look at my life, you'd see this conflict in full force. I went to a religious private school that cost a pretty penny in tuition but lived in a trailer park. I was a smart kid taking classes with kids from far higher economic backgrounds than me (even my former best friend didn't come from particularly humble means). The higher level classes at my school weren't associated with kids from broken homes or a dysfunction you could see just by looking at them. I went to a college attended by lots of kids who weren't from a trailer park (Ted Turner's daughter even went there). My sorority didn't have other girls from my parents' situation & I certainly didn't see it at my law school either.

In all this time, no one would ever refer to me as "trailer trash" or "white trash"; honestly, I was always credited as coming from a higher income level than I actually did. No one EVER treated me differently i.e. inferior or viewed me as out of place. I'm pretty sure that to this day, if you didn't ask me but just saw me someplace or didn't know my origins you'd probably never think of me in that way.

It's not that I ever tried to put on airs or act like a social climber. Far from it: I was always just being myself, however eccentric or unusual. In fact, I was trying so hard to rebel from the "prep" image everyone had of me (I got 3 holes pierced in each ear for this reason). No matter what I did, that "prep" image still seemed to follow me; maybe it still does considering I'm a lawyer.

I also wasn't crazy about the "goody goody" image but that bothered me less since I had a laser focus to get out of my hometown. I wasn't going to sleep with guys or do things that would stop me from leaving as fast as I could & as soon as I could. My personality is just naturally seen as "classy," I suppose. Look how big I am on my own privacy!

You could also say my parents (or at least my mother) raised me right since I wasn't hanging around the ruffians who lived in my neighborhood & got into trouble at school. I knew who they were but I had nothing in common with them as people. My methods for doing something to break conformity were still within the system and I had the advantage of my "goody goody, smart kid" image to get away with things.

When I heard about Columbine (which literally happened days before our graduation & was why we could not bring hangars for our robes to the coliseum), I figured that if you want to have a successful high school shooting you'd need a smart kid like me to help you. No one would have suspected me of a thing; I was in the hall one day when my entire class was gone on the senior class picnic (I was the only junior there & my teacher was one of the chaperones) & had no place to go. Other kids around me were being busted for skipping but not a single teacher or administrator approached me to ask why I was in the hall. I'd have gladly told them why & asked them what they'd have me do when my classroom was locked up & my teacher was gone but I ended up hanging out with another teacher during her free period. I was even a page at various school offices & had access to sensitive information such as students' class schedules & personal information.

Now even though I had this persona in high school, I freely said it should be renamed "Parkland Prison". I even have a picture that illustrates WHY this is so. My high school literally had no windows in the classrooms except for these little skinny things that let in almost no light. I have a picture of one of these windows.

There's also that whole petition situation. You'd think the powers there would have been watching my butt like a hawk, especially when my parents sided with me over one of their own in that whole thing. I even had that whole "woman of the people" aspect going for me since I'd speak up if something was asinine though I gave credit where it was due. Strangers with Candy got it right when they said high school was like prison though I said that about mine before I ever saw it.

Scared, respectful of me or just viewed me as too much of a non-issue to deal with (and this doesn't even cover middle school when I started standing up for myself & helped friends who were being racially discriminated against by one of the teachers there)? You decide.

For the record, I STILL think that if you want to take down the maximum amount of people in a high school, you need one of those kids to help you or you're just an amateur + not really committed. You could probably extend that to most other places as well. The "insider" angle.

See what I mean about perception vs. reality? Today, this has led to people asking me for money I don't have (I got a solicitation from The Actor's Fund to help poor actors & I thought "What about poor me?"), assuming I have much more than I do & getting access to things that your average "rabble" probably wouldn't.

I signed up for a forum on Tuesday where my bar association is having a talk with the State Attorney General. I'm sure plenty of Occupy protestors, folk at Credo & others would love the opportunity to ask him why he's not pursuing criminal action against the Wall Street bankers & forces that caused the mortgage crisis. I may have to ask that if others do not. That temptation may be too great to pass up. Plus, you'd better believe I insist on any political figure representing me knowing that I'm watching them like a hawk & if you want my praise, your actions will make or break you.

I'm also a hard core cynic who's getting more hardened by how government has reacted to the Occupy protests. As far as I'm concerned, I think the 1st Amendment & the Constitution are nearly reduced to platitudes at this point. Platitudes mean shit to me, okay?

I'd also like to see if any other topics are mentioned that I may have to inquire about as well (assuming my more progressive colleagues don't seize those moments since any real attorney stands behind the rights of protestors to express their rights without government ordinances, sham "clean up" efforts & other dirty tricks). Going to this event, presumably populated with more of the 1% than the 99%, I'm sure a speaker would be caught off guard by people who aren't engaged in ass kissing.

Again, you find me a politician who isn't a back-pedalling, PC obsessed, hypocritical crybaby who has a fully functioning brain & I'll vote for him/her. There may be an easier way to find this: if only there were an app to tell you about these people, there would be a way to even up the information gap & prevent the guy with the most money & best smear ads from winning every single time b/c mainstream media told you to vote for him.

Oh, and in case you thought I was lying about professional, so-called "mainstream" types supporting the Occupy protests go read this. That's how I'd be if I were in that position since I don't consider myself "special" or "superior" to anyone because of my occupation.

Glad to see some people aren't greedy assholes who should be exiled to their own island. I'd also like to see idiots get the same treatment. In fact, I saw comments from an Internet user that if I saw in real life, I'd have to smack. The "poor me" is sick & tiring; we can ALL play that crap. Plus, playing Word Police isn't going to win you any friends (particularly when you're attacking common phrases like "lame" & "stupid" or claiming that strangers have white privilege -- go back to earlier entries for my views on that topic). The "social justice" movement doesn't have a friend in me, that's for sure.

Not that I condone using the n-word or racial slurs against people (you can insult them in so many better ways such as with the term "God botherer," a British term for "bible thumper" that I'm going to start using) but when you act like a bitch, I'm not going to call you a princess & kiss your feet lest your precious whittle feelings get hurt. That's called "Grow up & join us in the real world! Have some accountability for your assholishness or suffer the consequences."

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Squeaky Wheels, People. Squeaky Wheels!

That is clearly how you get things done in life: being a squeaky wheel. Being a squeaky wheel does NOT mean being insulting people or calling them names. It means not allowing people to walk on you if you're being mistreated or not getting something you paid for. It means asserting yourself calmly & trying to explain things in a way that people will want to help you.

Imagine my shock when I got a call today from the rep I'd spoken to at Michael Ginarais' office. I was skeptical that they were going to do much; after all, I've seen many a government worker & political office worker brush off me as well as others I helped. I do remember dealing with the would-be lobbyist & getting political doublespeak. I know platitudes when I see them, and I've certainly seen my fair share of them. I also have a very cynical view of government & politics to begin with. So I felt like I was being fed a platitude & they weren't really going to take action. Some people hand out platitudes like candy & con others into thinking they are sincere when they really aren't. I'm not sure if the lawyer thing has anything to do with it or maybe that I'm just a loudmouth who'll remind you that you can't treat me like some smelly fart. Ignoring me doesn't make me go away. That will just make me madder.

The rep I spoke to was helpful, gave me useful information & a direct method of contact in case I had future trouble. We also had our 4th Verizon tech arrive & find a problem no one else had. I'm hoping this will be the end of our little rain problem but I guess I won't know this until it rains. Thus far, I haven't lost my service again so that's good. I also had a very busy day yesterday. I attended a financial conference that a Twitter follower was conducting & invited me to. I wasn't sure I qualified as an investor but as I do have a business that should eventually get financing & an interest in doing more investing (because maybe you are one if you have a CD with a bank?), I figured since I was invited I may as well go since I could learn something new that might be practical for my business or for personal investing.

One significant observation: people at this event were much friendlier to me as a stranger than attorneys would be. People actually SPOKE to me & I networked. At lawyers events that aren't "networking events," you're lucky to get a "hello" from an attorney that doesn't know you. I went to a Vault Career Fair a few years back & there was a lunch with it.

This event also had a lunch where you sat with people at a table. The difference is people at this event actually spoke to me and we learned about what each other's work & involvement in the financial industry. I'm also glad to know that there are firms that advise corporations on making sure they are complying with proper corporate governance (such as making sure they have the proper number of independent directors on their boards) & that corporations use them.

I also didn't feel a vibe of snobbery & elitism like most people would expect. That vibe is something I pick up on quickly since I've experienced it so much & I know what I'm looking for.

At lunch, one person said my job was more interesting that hers but I pointed out that the downside is I don't get the financial security since my company's not financed. This is very true: if you work in entertainment, you're not going to get rich unless you're extremely passionate, motivated & willing to work for yourself. You have to seek out opportunities & work much harder than someone with a steady income and company. You'd expect people to immediately back away from me after that but it didn't happen.

The speakers also struck me as being human beings first & foremost i.e. approachable. Not something you'd expect or see much of. I also wasn't in dressy attire while most of the people attending were. I generally won't do that since I don't have to; I'm not here to put on airs or impress folks in that way. We're not in court & if there's no dress code, why shouldn't I dress for basic comfort?

Contrast this with me going to lawyer events that aren't formal networking events, especially if no one I know from a bar committee is there: you can feel the elitism & self-importance in the room. Only more recently have I felt truly comfortable at the bar associations I currently belong to. I still feel distant from folk there sometimes but that could because I'm doing something so different, even compared to other entertainment lawyers. I have much more confidence about it after higher ups in these places have told me to just be myself & meeting people who make me feel less like an outcast or an oddball. Even so, if I'm at an event where someone I know isn't there no one bothers to talk to me so I feel like "Why am I here?"

Bar associations could really take a lesson from sororities when it comes to integrating new members (mine, at least since I can't speak for others). They should view it as entertaining guests in your home & trying to make those guests feel comfortable. In sorority recruitment, you were not allowed to leave potential new members alone for the entire time they were attending your premises; the members had to talk to all of them & be gracious, even if you felt that girl had no business trying to pledge your house (ideally, you had multiple sisters talking to each girl so you could get a gauge of the girl's fit for your chapter). There was a basic standard of politeness expected that I imagine is still the norm today. I think making that effort would really help since not everyone can, in a psychological sense, go approach a group of strangers.

I do have to compliment one of my colleagues who is the president of one of these bar associations (NYCLA) since he does attend events & makes himself accessible to everyone, not just the seasoned members or the most high profile lawyers. The best things about the Vault Career Fair: the swag & networking with one of the lawyers representing a firm seeking applicants. Apparently, he'd been trying to pick me up while I was trying to network.

The other observation from this financial conference: I'm not as ignorant on matters of finance as I thought I was. I had some knowledge of what was being said & I could understand some of it. Taking Business Organizations in law school paid off!

Oh, and they also had some nice swag.

To finish out the day, I decided to go to my first community board meeting. Remember this whole Verizon debacle & how I said it seems I'm going to have to get involved in political matters reluctantly? I did.

One thought, though: is it just me or are forums where the public or others can advocate for their rights deliberately held in locations that are public transit nightmares? My husband's union meetings, for instance, are held in a location where it's a pain in the ass to get there unless you've got a car. I wonder how many people usually attend with that. I can't help but wonder if that's some kind of ploy to keep people from exercising their rights or using their voice. It wouldn't shock me if it was. See the cynical thoughts that come to my head? Not sure you can blame that on my being a lawyer.

Anyhow, I did go & turned out to be a good decision. For one thing, they have public comment at the beginning of the meeting. I was happy to see this since you normally hear about it being at the end & we all know what happens at the end of a meeting: people leave or zone out & won't listen to you. I never like to perform last in a show if others are doing what I'm doing (singing or acting). I got to speak first since the person signed up ahead of me wasn't present.

I was able to eloquently make my point in less than 3 minutes & learned that the chairman along with others in the room had had the same problem with Verizon. I also met members of the community board, one of whom introduced me to another attorney who as it turned out is the spouse of a manager my husband worked with at one point. I warned hubby that if I meet managerial folk from his job, I'd directly ask them about the whole promotions issue & why my husband is not being properly utilized. Everyone knows it's best not to have me meet the library's HR folk because I'll let them have it as the person in charge of HR in my own business (informally but I'm the only lawyer & I've done the interviews for positions that didn't require creative judgments). Same for that library director: I'll take him to task since he deserves it & screwing with my family means you're screwing with me.

Hopefully, the Verizon issue was resolved but I appreciate getting the help and information. It certainly may still be time for a block association considering that abandoned house sitting there & possibly now being a druggie hangout. I did also get the sense that the community board did try to help folk & cared about what was going on. My husband wants to go to the next meeting.

So, a lesson: bother your politicians & go to your community board meetings. Then you can complain about corruption & make an educated decision in casting votes. Squeaky wheels & all that. Plus, getting in people's faces will show them that their constituents are watching & will not let them forget if they screw up or don't take action on some major issue.

However, what I'm not sure is available but would love to see as a smartphone app is an app where you can find out about all your local campaigns, go to all the campaign websites & learn about the campaign contributions accepted by each candidate. There are websites for the campaign contribution monies but I don't know of any one set place where you can learn about everyone running for local office & what their platforms are on major issues, including how they would solve problems within the realm of the office. This could give an edge to candidates with less money, especially if they aren't taking corporate "bribes", appearing in TV ads or invited to televised debates, late night talk shows, etc.

Say, Buddy Roemer who seems like one of the only Republicans who isn't a woman hating, lunatic fringe scumbag who constantly makes "gaffes" and either needs or has had a lobotomy. I wouldn't trust most of the media darling GOP candidates to manage a piggy bank, much less a whole country.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

People Who Should Be Punched In the Face

Ideally, I'd love some people to be punched so hard even plastic surgery won't get them back to their former glory. For one thing, I suspect some retaliation going on with Verizon because of me complaining about shoddy service. Magically, on a sunny day, my landline goes out & Internet gets buggy.

I speak to my contact in the Executive Customer Service Center about this & how I suspect it's retaliation (especially considering a Verizon truck was spotted working on equipment in our area, then vanishes & problems result). Gee, what would YOU conclude with all this & my prior experiences? I also called up my local city councilperson's office quite angry yesterday.

Based on the attitude I got in my Senate person's office, I'll be making certain not to vote for Michael Gianaris when he's up for re-election. My e-mail inquiring on his stance toward indie film companies didn't go through (since in his newsletter sent to my home some time back, there's this big story about how he's helping the entertainment industry in NYC) so I have to wonder if he, like Bloomberg, thinks only rich companies & people have rights. I wouldn't be shocked if the answer was "yes." I think most politicians are drastically overpaid & there's certainly enough evidence of it that I don't have to link salary listings for you. A lot of them have also forgotten just who they work for. The Occupy protests are shining examples of this.

But, onto those specific people I think should be punched (alongside corporate assholes, rude folk & people claiming the protestors should stop protesting & "get jobs" while suppressing the right to protest). More interesting & appalling Craig's List ads ahead.

Video editing and production intern (Chelsea)

Date: 2011-08-15, 8:07PM EDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

Video production company seeking a talented intern with an interest in editing, production and marketing for video. Approx. 2-3 days/wk. Please apply if you are able to commit at least 15 hours/wk (up to 25/wk). Internship will be split between editing, production, marketing and clerical.

Ideal candidate will have above average written and verbal communication skills and be comfortable with speaking to clients and vendors on the phone and in person.

- Should be reliable, punctual and organized
- Candidates should have their own MAC laptops
- Candidates with experience in editing and who are working toward becoming editors are preferred. Please note your skill level in Final Cut Pro, After Effects and Photoshop.

Duties would include organizing office, scheduling editing sessions and crews, assisting on video shoots, making phone calls, media logging and transferring, preparing footage for editing, editing small video projects, assisting on large editing projects and crafting emails.

Please reply to this posting with a resume, brief cover letter describing your goals and experience and provide any video samples. Include your contact info in email body. Again, please only apply if you are able to commit at least 15 hours/wk (up to 25/wk). We will be contacting people ASAP.

My problems with this ad are A) attempts to exploit experienced people by making them work as interns (my company, for the record, has never done this & has more respect for people than that), B) zero reimbursement for using personal equipment or travel (which is scuzzy if you ask me) & C) asking for 25 hours a week. The average day job is 40 hours a week & these days, most ask for more. Plus, for 3 days at 25 hours: that's a shift at a full time job (8 hours).

This strikes me as illegal under federal & state labor law. Seeing such ads tells me "I don't have a lawyer either in-house or outside my company. I'm a moron & will not go anywhere."

But it does get worse.

Film Finance Company Seeks Full Time Intern (Flatiron)

Date: 2011-08-15, 6:33PM EDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

A New York City-based film finance company is looking for a full time office intern with exceptional communication and organizational skills. The individual should be interested in film finance but also have experience working in an office or as a personal assistant. Tasks will include a full range of administrative duties as well as script coverage and creative work. The internship will start unpaid with the potential for compensation in time and all the perks of working for a film company. Position requires 4-5 days work a week, starts immediately in New York City.

Interested candidates should reply to this ad with a resume and cover letter listing all relevant experience.

Compensation: unpaid with potential for future pay
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2548670456

Totally ILLEGAL to have a "full time intern." And why the hell would anyone work full time for no pay? Even a millionaire would want some type of return on their free labor & certainly would want that. This is sick & insulting.

Furthering the insulting & illegal internships category is this gem.

Ent. Writers Needed Established NYC Entertainment Group! (Chelsea)

Date: 2011-08-16, 2:40AM EDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

Are you interested in pursuing a career in entertainment, specifically in the field of writing? Is your writing ability one to brag about? Does your style and passion separate you from the rest?

Come intern with us!

We are a rapidly expanding entertainment group with offices in Chelsea that has worked with well-known clients and brands like Mos Def, SummerStage, John Legend, Ciara, Rihanna, MTV, BET, Heineken, Bacardi, Miramax, and America's Next Top Model.

This fall we will be working on a slew of exciting projects which include producing a feature-length film, producing a citywide music festival, launching a network of entertainment-based blogs, and overseeing the music careers of several popular music artists, producers, and songwriters.

WRITING INTERNS must have eloquent writing skills, and an extended background in some sort of journal, poetry, essay and/or creative writing. Each intern must also have wealth of interest and knowledge in the music, film, and/or fashion worlds.

Furthermore, ALL INTERNS must be creative, willing to think outside of the box, reliable, motivated, problem solvers, out-going, and detail oriented with the ability to be a team player or a self-starter. Computer, oral and written communication, and people skills are a must.

This is a very BIG opportunity for all who apply so please, ONLY SERIOUS INQURIES!

Do you have what it takes to join our team?

If so, please send a brief email explaining why we should bring you on board!

Email us all of the following:

● Full Name
● Email Address
● Phone Number
● A brief introduction to who you are, what you are currently involved with, like school or personal projects, and what you think you can bring to our company
● Links to your Facebook account and any website(s) that you have.

If you are interested email us back immediately.

If we feel that you have what it takes, we will be in touch to schedule an interview.

The internship is a 4-month long internship with lots of room for growth.

We look forward to hearing from you!

Wow, go fuck yourself. First off, when someone's got experience at something they aren't a damn intern!!! They are a professional & should be compensated according to market rates.

Second, if your company has worked with big name clients (and this goes for all you name droppers) then chances are you've got the means to pay a professional what (s)he is worth. If you do not, you need to carefully evaluate what kind of opportunity working with you is going to give someone & how much you can realistically ask of someone working for free.

I'd wager a lot of money that most of these people promising paid employment at some future date aren't proving written internship agreements or putting that little promise in writing. If you take an internship with someone who makes this empty promise & doesn't back it up in writing, you've now been warned.

Rule of life, I suppose: if a person promises something but won't memorialize it in writing, it means they are full of crap & going to scam you sooner or later.

Finally, you expect unpaid interns to provide links to social media websites? I can understand asking to see a writing portfolio but what I look like has zero to do with writing. Asking for this stuff is nothing but a big judge fest, in my book.

This is an employer's attempt to find something they don't like about someone so they can reject them. Whether it's a legally protected category like race, age, religion, etc. or something like who you voted for in the last election or how you feel about a controversial topic like abortion, gun rights, the Occupy protests, the death penalty or even if you think Casey Anthony got away with murder, I as an employer would not want to see someone's Facebook pages. It's one thing for an employer to Google you & find things that way (which I also take issue with but you can read further back for my stance on that issue) but if you're making your Facebook page private, not friending everyone in sight & taking precautions so an employer couldn't find it on his/her own in a Google search, you've got every right to say "Hell no! I'm not giving you that as a condition to interviewing me."

I would NEVER in a trillion years give someone access to MY Facebook page if they were considering me for a job or an employer. Nor would I friend any co-worker from a job where I could get fired for being myself. Unless you make express, written agreement to let me be me on my own pages, you don't get to be my Facebook friend. End of story, case closed.

Employers need to stop acting like their staff's mommies & daddies. It's a big reason I'm not in favor of working for corporations or large businesses.

And, last I checked, NONE of you corporate executives or heads of big businesses were saints!!! Don't pretend that you are; even the Bible says "Judge not lest ye be judged also." I certainly never claimed I was & wouldn't expect employees to be moral paragons either.

Now, another dick expecting free professional writing services:

Writer intern for Universal Records (Midtown East)

Date: 2011-11-08, 7:20AM EST
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

I run an indie label with distribution though Universal Music Group. We are currently looking for writers with expertise in writing business letters, proposals and press releases. This job could lead to a future paid position. Please note: you must own a lap top and live in NYC. If interested please forward your resume and contact info.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2691243569

I responded to this one earlier but apparently the ad is no longer active, which I think is awesome.

Do you know that it's illegal to require interns to have ANY previous experience? You ad says you're "currently looking for writers with expertise in writing business letters, proposals and press releases." It's also insulting to call a professional writer an "intern." Tell me, how does that benefit a professional in ANY way, shape or form? It doesn't! It's a step backwards!

And I see no mention of reimbursing anyone for the use of their PERSONAL laptop for YOUR company's work. Nor do I see a travel requirement but I have a feeling if there is one, you'd presume some professional writer who gets paid to write is going to fall all over himself/herself to PAY to do YOUR work via transit costs. Metrocards aren't cheap! $4.50 round trip adds up & some of us don't make enough in a month to justify a $104 monthly pass EVERY SINGLE MONTH.

I'm also willing to bet a million dollars you expect this professional writing "intern" to put YOUR work ahead of any paid assignments or day jobs outside the field, thinking people's landlords, utility companies & the like will be fine accepting exposure and a smile instead of money for a place to live, food, power, etc.

Why don't you just call this what it is: an attempt to exploit a professional writer for your personal gain. Do YOU like to work for free? What if I offered YOU a job where you wouldn't get paid, called you MY intern, used YOUR expertise for free & then made you pay to travel to my office as well as use your personal resources for MY sole gain? I'd expect you'd tell me to fuck off.

How about opening your wallet & PAYING a professional for their quality + expertise instead of expecting a stranger to jump at the chance of being your "intern?" Or go ask a friend to do your freebies. As a professional writer who gets PAID for her services + an attorney/business owner, you need to get some empathy & some rational thinking skills. Otherwise, people will regularly tell you to fuck off & rightly so.

Craig's List isn't a networking group or your personal slave directory.

Don't forget that either. It ISN'T. Man, I want some people to be arrested in a criminal court for this sort of thing!

I've been getting paid to write, thank you. I don't perform free writing unless it's for my own projects like this blog or work with my own company or for my own performances where I have full creative control. Get the picture?

Not my problem that you can't write or aren't an attorney. Nor is it your problem that I have no mechanical skills or ability to fix a computer, lift heavy objects, etc.

This guy, oh he should be killed. That's all:

Personal Female Assistant

Date: 2011-11-01, 8:42PM EDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

Business man seeks attractive female assistant for lunch time and/or after hours stress relieving rendezvous. Hand job required. Send photos and state what you are willing to do for a prompt reply. Pays up to $1000 per week.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $1000 per week

PostingID: 2680593923

Hire a hooker, perv! I'd also love to see this guy's dick fall off. It would be poetic justice after all.

I was watching an episode of Disaster Date earlier & there was a date with an actor playing a chauvinist. Openly told the mark "Shut up! The men are talking here." Apparently, this date had escaped from Amish country but here's a little tip in dealing with me: if you EVER say something that to me or address me in a belittling fashion, expect me to kick you hard in the crotch, cut off your balls or otherwise do something very extreme that will render you unable to continue being a sexist douche. I would have punched him right in the face if I'd been that girl.

Famous people take note (especially James Belushi if you in fact actually did this): ask me to give you a blow job & I'll say you must really hate your dick b/c if I do that, I'll end up biting it off. That doesn't even go into what my husband will do to you & he'd probably kill you for doing less; like me, he doesn't care how famous you are or how much money you have. You may even cause trouble from a friend my husband hates who would love to be his replacement!

Plus, I was once offered $1,000 by a guy I went on my first date with to have sex with him (this was years later and he wasn't even close to rich); if I was ever selling sexual services, you'd have to start from there. Natural redheads are also the rarest people on the planet & have sexual myths + scientific studies making us more marketable on that end so you can't expect freebies. You want me to give you a blow job? At least offer a fair figure so I'll have a fun story to tell people later on.

Think very, very carefully about what you want the outcome to be in dealing with The Angry Redheaded Lawyer.

Better yet, do the same thing for all natural redheads & all female attorneys. It will make your life much easier & you won't end up like John Wayne Bobbit or a eunuch if they can't reattach your lost genitalia.

Yes, I bring lawyer analysis into situations like this. What's your point? I'm not going to do it but any business minded prostitute would consider those factors if she could use them to get a better rate.

More delusions:

intern (nyc)

Date: 2011-10-04, 12:38PM EDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

Magazine CEO needs an intern (personal assistant) for up coming fashion show. Please send picture, resume, links, website and why you want to be a personal assistant.
This is an unpaid turned paid position. Best suited for college or post college student hungry and willing to work. There will be pay in the future.
Must be sociable, good with social media, public relation skills, able to go to industry events, office work, organization skills and creative.

Location: nyc
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2632052483

More insults, illegality & asking for pictures. More obvious issues in lack of reimbursement, employment discrimination & the like. Can't we just shut these jerks down?

Finally, there's this ad that looks legit but not so fast...

Fall Interns Needed for BreakThru Radio (Chelsea)

Date: 2011-08-16, 9:29AM EDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

BreakThru Radio is looking for Fall Interns to join the BTR team. We are looking for individuals who have previous college radio skills and great writing skills in covering music and the culture for BreakThru Radio. You must have previous experience in the field. You will receive plenty of goodies in return for your awesome work and, yes, there are monetary incentives! Check us out at,

If you love music, comedy, culture and radio and think that you would be an excellent team member, send us a cover letter and resume! Please list your 5 favorite music artists in your reply.

A little bit about BreakThru Radio: BreakThru Radio is "Radio Rediscovered" in a world where FM is out of frequency. In today's overly saturated music market, it is often difficult for listeners to find what they are looking for. BreakThru Radio has the solution. Listeners are given access to independent music from an expansive and diverse pool of genres, in addition to an innovative comedy platform. Offering the best in music from around the world, BreakThru Radio brings its listeners tracks recorded exclusively for the BTR audience from our live studio. BTR offers on-demand access to its shows and on-the-go iPod capability.

In today's overly saturated music market, it is often difficult for listeners to find what they are looking for. BreakThru radio has the solution. Listeners are given access to music from an expansive and diverse pool of genres in addition to an innovative comedy platform. Offering the best in music from around the world, BreakThru Radio brings its listeners tracks recorded exclusively for the BTR audience from our live studio. BTR offers, on-demand access to its shows, and on-the-go iPod capability. BreakThru Radio is "Radio Rediscovered" in a world where FM is out of frequency.

Compensation: TBD
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2549427920

There's that pesky little illegality of demanding interns to have "prior experience" in the industry. Not cool & it's illegal.

Just come out & say you want volunteers or a barter arrangement. That is at least honest & not insulting people by calling them "interns."

Still have more things to rant about but wouldn't you agree that these people should be punched in the face? Not me but someone. If I went around punching people in the face, I'd never have time to do anything else.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Make-A-Wish Requests & Famous People

I've got a LOT going on in life right now and I swear I'll be writing on it. Some of it is still developing but there are issues that have been sitting for ages that I simply haven't addressed. Here's one now.

You may have heard about the Barefoot Contessa refusing to meet a Make-A-Wish kid who has lukemia. This article talks about what is off limits for charity wish-granting & a little bit on this issue.

When I heard about this, I remember thinking the Barefoot Contessa was a bitch. I kind of still do (and I've got no interest in that realm) but when I read the comments section, it got me to thinking a bit on the issue.

Apparently, one commenter knew a terminal patient who asked to meet Reba McEntire & her staff or whomever plans her meetings scheduled multiple patients. The person relaying this story got mad because (in this person's opinion) it was a feeling that the patient was not all that special and got neglected in this process. Another person pointed out that celebrities are super busy & don't have time for meeting sick kids. One even said outright that they hated the presence of charity wish-granting groups because it was extortion, particularly against famous people & anyone else who'd feel disparate impact from negative publicity.

Reading that, I do have to agree with the point on extortion. Think about it: if you're an actor (the most visual people in the industry & let's fact it, the most likely candidates to get asked about meeting sick individuals), you already have to do a ton of traveling, physical endurance tasks & plenty of other things that make that life not so glamorous if you're the one living it. Should we essentially make famous people go meet those sick kids from Make-A-Wish? I think it'd rub me the wrong way being friends with people who have a shot at being well known or have some acclaim already if the press were calling them a heartless piece of garbage for not wanting to meet little Johnny Sick Kid.

There's a credible argument here: if you'd not want you or your friends being trashed for politely declining to meet someone or date them, why should it make a difference what one's health is like or if it's their "wish?" Isn't in a bit similar to not giving money to the panhandler who's using their child or physical condition to beg for money? What about not wanting to date someone who has threatened to kill himself/herself if you break up with him/her? Should you be held responsible for someone else's condition? That negative publicity aspect is a tough one & it is something to think about.

The other side of it is, of course, "But Sick Kid is DYING & meeting XYZ famous person is his/her dying wish!! It would be so nice for the person to do it."

Yeah, it would. But should it be a mandatory requirement? Should people be forced to be altruistic? What if that celebrity lost a family member to that child's disease & has bad feelings associated with it? Isn't it kind of shitty to expect some famous person who had to watch a family member/friend/loved one waste away from cancer meet some kid who has cancer? What about potential emotional trauma? Bet you didn't think about that, did you?

And why would you want to meet someone who's going to have all those bad memories associated with your condition? That will likely make your meeting horrid. And what if the celebrity is only doing it for publicity? That's not the least bit altruistic to me. That celebrity could also end up with a crazy line of people claiming every kind of terminal illness known to man just to meet him/her. Do you, as the person's rep, want to deal with it? I'm not sure I would.

Personally, I think people should be kind and give things with a pure heart. I certainly don't go around doing things I don't want to or just so I look good. For instance, I'm not doing Monday Night Law solely for CLE or to drum up good PR for my company. I have pure intentions behind it, chiefly having come from the situation myself & having family who could well end up in the same situation as those seeking services. I'd really not want kindness from someone who's just trying to get good PR or could care less about what I'm doing or my condition if I were ill.

At the same time, though, I think the right to say no is important. Do we blame the ex of a suicide victim for breaking up with the person? Do we bash people who refuse to give change to panhandlers using their kids, disabilities, sob stories as an inducement to give? I haven't seen that confrontation on the subway & you'd best believe if someone yelled at me for it, I'd point out that my sister has a young son & I know handicapped people personally who would never go out in public with their hands out + disabilities/kids/other sympathy ploy on display begging for money.

For those of you in the industry, what are your thoughts? Should we beat up on famous people for wanting to live their own lives & get a little rest sometime? Should people be forced to meet kids because of their terminal illnesses? What about meeting healthy kids or even healthy adults? Are they less worthy?

I realize a lot of people believe children are more important than grownups (just ask a radical pro-lifer) but I disagree & hope there are more who feel the same.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

A One Woman Crusade to Finally Get FiOS at My House

My husband expressed an interest in going into politics. Today, it seems that he's going to get his first taste of it. Here's why:

We've had Verizon for our home service since we moved to NYC in 2007. When we signed up, they had a local call center for issues, our landline & Internet rarely (if ever) went out & there was some professionalism there.

Since the massively over hyped Hurricane Irene blew through here, we lose our landline service & our Internet gets patchy every single time it rains. This has even happened on a mere drizzle. More than 3 times, we attempted to get a tech.

This means being connected to a foreign call center in India, where apparently they don't bother putting your problem as what it actually is. Instead, they put something that isn't the real problem. They also refuse to list the numbers as you tell them to. God forbid anyone in that section is allowed to use his/her own brain!

In our case, the representatives there put our issue as "no dial tone." Then, whenever our line came back, we'd get an automated phone call cancelling the tech appointment. We immediately called foul on it since that automated phone call continues nonstop until you do something about it.

Right after the hurricane, our phone line was out for about a week. A tech was scheduled on Saturday but because we don't have access to the building's backyard (this is city living for you) & our landlord wasn't around, they could not get back to look at it. An appointment was scheduled days later & we drove out to see family on Sunday. Unbeknownst to anyone, the tech showed up again on Sunday. That time, the landlord was able to let the person back there to fix the problem.

Three days later, when it rains, we lose our service again. This has continued in a pattern that proceeds, without fail.

Now, being The Angry Redheaded Lawyer, you know I'm not having that shit! I don't pay for things I didn't use or get & I call up to get bill credits. We've gotten quite a few because of all this. I will continue to do so since apparently, Verizon refuses to maintain their own equipment. At least the people in billing aren't asses about it & agree with my point on not paying for something you didn't even get.

More recently, my husband spoke to a tech who refused to come out after we'd waited all day for him (the call came at 5 p.m., the absolute latest time the tech was supposed to show up & after we'd had to change our plans for this visit). The tech then told him that because the company is spending money on FiOS, they aren't spending money on copper wiring (which we have since they've still not put in it despite telling us we'd have it "soon" even back to 2007). Essentially, we've been told "Fuck you! You don't have FiOS so we refuse to give you quality service."

Bill credits aren't bad but we'd like our service fixed & functional instead of this degraded mess that will likely go out for weeks if we get a winter like the one we had last year.

As this problem has continued, I decided to go higher up the chain & spoke to folks in the Executive Customer Service section. They seem to be more competent + have that link to people who can do something. Because of this and other departments I've dealt with, I'd rather keep what I have. I don't handle rudeness or incompetence & I'll pull the lawyer card out on that in a heartbeat. Plus, I have to keep my landline because my mother doesn't trust digital phone or cell service (look at what happens to it in a major crisis) & I don't want the entire planet to be able to reach me that easily. I do work in the entertainment business & I do have the right to be left alone + not hassled by strangers. I also have to provide contact information to the state licensing folk & no way will I give out a personal cell number for public use.

Since this issue appears to be above everyone else's heads (after an honest conversation with another rep today), we've decided it's time to take more steps. It was suggested that we call a commission that deals with utility services along with local politicians. It's nice that Election Day is right around the corner b/c I will remember rudeness & make damn sure to vote any rude asshole types out of local office the minute their term is up. Remember, you're known by the company you keep. If you're keeping patronizing scum around, that lends credence to my belief that you're in it for the bribes & not for everyone else. Same goes for indifference & not following up. If I have to chase you, then what are you really doing in your elected office? I'd say the answer is "nothing".

Calling the community board, we learned that we don't have a neighborhood association. Since this is hardly the only issue that seems call for an active, vocal neighborhood board that's not taking platitudes or shit (talk is cheap & unless you're taking action, I know your apology is an insulting attempt to try & patronize me, which won't work), it seems we're going to have to form it ourselves + find some people we know around here who may be living here a while & are interested. I think building owners are important for this since that says we matter, have a direct impact on things & a societal voice it behooves you to listen to.

Also, I think political figures & higher ups will respond more favorably to those people since they understand the scope of those types of jobs. Being able to speak someone's language or understand what their challenges are helps in persuasion. I've won arguments with businesses before because of knowing legal concepts & how the law applies them. You can be effective without resorting to profanity or personal attacks. I know I certainly can be.

Thus, this project begins. I also made sure to contact The Consumerist & will have to go to more media outlets if I don't like the response I get.

For those who may be thinking I'm overreacting, remember a few things:

1. Nothing ever got done by sitting on your ass and complaining. If people hadn't gotten off their asses, we'd still have slavery, no labor standards whatsoever & abortion would probably still be illegal (which it's not despite the anti-choice hypocrites).

2. Life/God/Karma helps those who help themselves. The mediocre & average folk don't get the rewards of risk takers & loud mouths who form coherent plans, then act on them.

3. Lastly, you try living in this situation & see how you like it. If you can get the resources for action, you take them. If you also are a high level exec, it's unconscionable not to tell some higher up in a company you're doing business with that they are shooting themselves in the foot. If I were a higher up in a business dealing with the public, I'd want to know about such things (sane, rational, reasonable things NOT asinine bullshit from some crank or freeloader who wants to get freebies or ask for a million bucks). Thank God I'm the legal counsel so I can call out the BS when I see it!

Keep reading for updates. It's sure to get interesting.