Why Lawyers and BigTech Don't Mix

I'm sure we're all familiar with Facebook and Twitter engaging in leftist cheerleading and censorship of opposing views under the guise of "anti-harassment and bullying policies". Yet these are supposed to be platforms for ADULTS, right? Aren't children directly banned from them? And you're looking for civility on the INTERNET?!?!?! Like, what world did these people drop in from?

I actually got out of Facebook jail and for some reason, pedandic crybabies haven't tried getting me banned again but I haven't really done Twitter so much since it's not my medium. I'm a woman of words, not of cutesy brainlessness.

So I noticed LinkedIn, the vanilla version of everyone, started getting more political. Not sure why LinkedIn decided it wanted to be a Facebook clone by allowing photos, videos and other unrelated work stuff including political pages. The problem, however, is it decided to become China in regulations and endorse leftists. For simply making comments and pointing out lack of credibility in certain expressed opinions from users who either were fake, didn't even get a vote on the topic (think foreigners discussing American elections) or people who engaged in blatant hypocrisy, "Ross" claimed that apparently LinkedIn decided to ban me with zero warning, notice or specifics on exactly what words were considered "wrong" to them. LinkedIn is even more so supposed to be a platform for ADULTS and for that matter PROFESSIONALS. Presumably, professionals have actual jobs or businesses and aren't cheering on rioters, corruption and the like.

I thought about this e-mail I got from Ross after doing an appeal (I made it a policy to appeal anytime they tried censoring some comment I wrote though they never sent you a copy of the comment or spelled out WHY they were censoring your statements) & decided that LinkedIn is not essential to my life. I made some good contacts in my pandemic vacation and kept information from those people since they contacted me directly. I'll be informing more of them about the situation soon enough. I also know of other platforms that haven't been corrupted and signed up on those. I also thought to myself "I'll just do more blogging and podcast episodes so I can speak freely." I could even try that on my own website since it's got a blog feature as well. I know of others who've created accounts elsewhere, decided to say "fuck BigTech", that sort of thing. It's also been said that the more known you are, the less reachable you need to be. There are lots of celebrities who either got off social media or didn't opt to be on there in the first place. If it's good enough for them and many others who've decided not to stand for the Chinese law these platforms want to follow, why shouldn't I do the same?

For the numbskulls out there, lawyers are NOT supposed to be onboard with societal BS. It's the job of lawyers to point out oppression, rights being ignored, speak for the voiceless & call out the corruption where it exists regardless of what popular opinion dicates is good or bad. Lawyers are not supposed to be a wing of the censorship police or sit back while the brown shirts oppress others. If you follow history and the rise of communism, then you know that the lawyers were killed just as the intellectuals were since commies HATE independent thinkers. Law is all about critical thinking, especially law school. Oh, and we actually know what the laws say, what the Constitution means and so forth. Leftists in the legal profession are as ironic as rich people supporting communism. Stupid is probably also an accurate term since both will be targeted and offed in those same movements. It's like the ringleaders never read "Animal Farm" or actually studied the rise of communism. I've done both, even reading "Animal Farm" on my own while doing a document review assignment. The parallel to communism is obvious to anyone with basic reading comprehension. My liberal arts college required us to take a class called "Human Nature & the Social Order" where we defintely weren't taught about communism being a great thing. What I got from any class on the subject was "communism is a nice idea on paper but fails in the real world since you're never going to change human nature." Any real lawyer doesn't let anybody bully them into silence and trying to bully me is straight up laughable. I've survied things that most of these brats would have been destroyed by. I seriously wonder why any of these overgrown toddlers are getting media coverage and why these platforms should get to maintain Section 230 protection when they want to be editors instead of publishers. Many class actions are on the rise so the results will be quite interesting. I hope they get slammed as they deserve to be.

Now I'm just waiting to see how the election and so forth plays out. Made plans to see my sweetie for a couple weeks to determine if we've got a future together, hanging out with family, not trying to get overweight though apparently I "look healthier" now and am actually within a normal weight for my height. It took 6 years & a pandemic to get back to my pre-divorce weight. Also looking at the bright sides though my family never did big family holiday gatherings (my sister is probably thrilled about not having to deal with in-laws she's not keen on). I have a great Halloween costume that's even COVID friendly along with fun mask ideas if I ever have to design my own. I also am hoping I get my absentee ballot in time after thinking I wouldn't get to vote at all; as of today it STILL says "reviewing application" with a date of a few days ago. I asked them to send it straight to where I'm staying now and I have to get it postmarked by November 3rd. Hoping that goes off without a hitch but who knows. Otherwise, just more day to day stuff and hoping my income actually matches my training and background sooner rather than later. Now I'll have to do some quality niece time. Who wouldn't want to spend time with her? She's a little cutie.

And The Stalkers Are Popping Out

The last time I was single, I had a few problems with guys refusing to leave me alone. I didn't want to tell them where I was or what I was doing for fear they were going to show up & bother me. To get rid of the 2 ex-boyfriend turned stalkers I had (one even went to my parents' house on Thanksgiving & left this wrought note about how his life was nothing without me, among other things), I had to tell one I had a boyfriend and the other that I was attending law school in a different state from where I was actually going.

For those of you who haven't had them, let's define what a stalker is. A stalker is someone who refuses to leave you alone. Someone who can't go live their own life & allow you to live yours. Oh, no! That would be too much for them.

Let someone go about their merry way & NOT bother them? God forbid!

I consider stalking as banal as saying "hi" to me at an event when I don't want to talk to you & have made that abundantly clear. When I cut you out, you are to be dead to me. I don't want to know you are still roaming this planet or NYC or wherever I happen to be.

One of my biggest pet peeves is someone still trying to talk to me when I have A) blocked them on social media, B) blocked their phone number, C) blocked their e-mail, D) said "I do not want to talk to you anymore," E) got my personal property out of their place or F) did anything that would make a rational, sane person say "You know something? She doesn't want anything to do with me. Maybe I should leave her alone."

Another huge pet peeve of mine is guys getting way too damn clingy & saying things that they have no grounds for. Case in point: I go to a networking event weeks back. Being where I am in life right now, I'm not as prompt in follow ups as I'd usually be. I go to networking events with the express purpose of networking & making business contacts. This is the same reason I use LinkedIn.

I DO NOT go to these events or use LinkedIn to have guys hit on me, call me "babe" (outside of a general entertainment industry context where they just call every female or everyone that) or declare their love. In the past week, I have had a total of 5 guys harass me or declare feelings they've got no business having.

1. A former friend/person I had an involvement with who has long since been blocked, told "I'm not interested," that kind of thing approaches me at an event. It startled me & frankly I didn't want to deal with it so I dashed off.

On my way to find someone more desirable to talk to (usually a cute guy by himself), I get a text message from another guy I had no interest in. This one revealed himself to be a Jesus freak & the thing that made me not want to speak to him further was his little sermon on the evils of pre-marital sex. The genie is out of that bottle, dude!

2. The Jesus freak says "hi," despite the last conversation where I said he should find someone more suited to him & his beliefs than me since he was not going to "save" me and I knew way too much about the Christian faith to be swayed by any attempt to make me into the frump they'd all love.

3. I go to a fashion show & meet a guy from Italy who says he'd like to learn American English. He instantly asks me if I'd want a serious relationship alongside telling me I'm "beautiful" and how great my eyes are. Had a friend with me I was trying to help forge business contacts & he was going to contact this guy.

The next day this guy is sending me text to e-mail messages & veers away from polite, normal topics into "I need your love. I need you."

Uh, no you do NOT "need" me!!!!! You had a 5 minute conversation with me after a fashion show & I left since my ride for the evening had to go. No way did you get to know me well enough to assess whether you "need" me or not.

If you get emotionally attached to someone that quickly, there is no hope for you in this life. There is definitely no hope for me if that's how all guys are going to react to me.

4. I get a connection request from LinkedIn from this guy who is a diver & has a mutual contact. Generally, I'm liberal on who I accept connection requests from on there since you never know who might be a useful or beneficial contact. If it's not someone trying to have a million contacts they never speak to, I'll generally approve. After all, you're getting the vanilla version of me on there so it's not like someone's going to be overcome by the vapors by having me as a connection. A Facebook friend, perhaps but NOT a LinkedIn connection.

Recently, I had to add my picture to my LinkedIn page. This is because I got a sponsored ad from Avvo offering very good terms & used my headshot pic that is on my company's website as well as my IMDB profile. I figured it wouldn't hurt to maintain some consistency.

I'm still very resistant to having a profile pic on there & I suppose this most recent experience illustrates why.

No sooner than I approve this request, I get a message asking me if I'd consider "a serious relationship." He talks about true love flourishing, calls me "babe" & tells me to respond to his personal e-mail address if I am interested.

I wrote a response a few days later since at first I'm thinking "Was I just propositioned on here?" Who calls a woman he's not married to or dating "babe" in a LinkedIn message? I'm also thinking to myself "Is this guy offering to be my sugar daddy or something?" I've gotten quite a few in-person offers for that stuff that I may have mentioned before. How, I don't know. I did nothing particularly special, just be myself & show up. Maybe it's part of 2.0 stuff & the new order.

5. Yesterday, while I'm going about my business & dealing with tasks at hand I get an e-mail from a guy I met at a networking event ages back. He sends me a pic of a rose & says "i remember you very week...i think of you every days, please reply to me."

Then he signs off with "Kisses"

I want to know: what the holy fuck?!?!?!?

First off, I might be pretty & I might be a great conversationalist with a sense of humor but I'm not so sure it warrants that type of reaction. Men falling in love with me in 5 minutes by just having a conversation with me & not even seeing me naked? I'm highly skeptical of that claim.

I at least had sex with some of these stalkers & maybe a reaction like that afterwards is understandable. Not to brag or anything but natural redheads have some skills & I'm not exactly a slouch in that department. I could very well have spoiled a few men in my time. More than one has told me I was "the best [he] ever had."

Some of them shouldn't forget it since it seems lots of women are either super freaks or stone cold frigid. There's very little middle ground or "lady on the street, freak in the sheets" types.

I also realize there are some sexually deprived men. That's a situation I feel some sympathy towards depending on how long that's been happening. It's not always the ugly or average guys, either.

Second, I don't believe in love at first sight. In fact, I don't believe in love at all. I feel it's a term guys use when they really mean they are in lust with you. Apparently falling in lust with me is so easy, I don't even have to try to get that reaction. They seem to take one look at me, have a short conversation & BOOM! One more man enamored with me for some reason; this is why I have a Facebook fan page.

Third, I hate clingy guys just as much as your typical guy hates clingy girls. My first boyfriend Psycho Boy was such a clinger, I'd have suffocated if I'd stayed in that relationship. I felt like I was gasping for air at times. Let me tell you right now clinginess is NOT endearing, charming, flattering or romantic.

I view being clingy as the emotional equivalent of a tick on your skin. Maybe even a tick on the side of your boob like a fellow camper I bunked with once had to deal with. She couldn't even put a shirt on to go across the way to the counselors' tent. We had to go tell the counselors she needed help without having to go into graphic detail (since we liked our tent mate & weren't trying to embarrass her). Ticks are painful, always end in places you don't want them & they just cause you unnecessary stress, strife, aggravation, you get the idea. That's how I view a clingy guy.

Again, middle ground. Take an interest & give a damn if I live or die (vanishing from the radar means you will vanish from MY radar since there are always other guys & friends who contact me). But you don't have to call or text me every hour, on the hour. Once a day or once every few days is okay. I understand you have a life. I do as well. Respect it & we will be fine.

Clinging to me tells me you do NOT have a life, that you will shape your entire existence around me & I won't be flattered but will end up terrified when I need to get out of your basement b/c you have decided to kidnap me (hopefully not literally since figurative kidnapping is bad enough).

Fourth, don't beg me for sex. I think it's pathetic when a guy does that. Not sure how guys feel about girls doing that but I sure won't do it. I have never had to beg for it & I sure won't now.

I'm thinking of an episode of The Golden Girls where Blanche is out with this guy she tried to sleep with & never did. Her "the one that got away," if you will. She goes out with this guy, despite him no longer being the hottie she knew in college & finally gets fed up after asking him for the upteenth time if he wants company and gets rejected.

She goes off on him & informs him that he may not want her but she will damn well find a man who does. After she does this, she leaves the restaurant they're at and 4 guys follow her, including the check and this guy dining with another woman! At this point, I could see something like that happening to me if a guy rejected me & I'd had enough.

Finally, I like my space. In particular, I like my emotional space. No, I LOVE my emotional space.

People need it from time to time, especially when they are going through what I have but I loved my space even before that.

Those who need their space will understand what I'm saying here & those who don't will never get it. We people who love our space just need to find others who also cherish their own space & understand why you don't want to be joined at the hip 24/7.

Sometimes, I just want to be left the fuck alone. If I'm bleeding due to girl stuff, I REALLY just want to be left alone. It's called "Stay out of my face. Do not bother me & definitely don't engage me if you don't want to get injured or hear me say something you won't like."

Could anyone possibly tell me why all this stalker mess? I want to know why. Why are they all stalking ME?!?!?! Where are some rational, normal, non-clingy (but still caring) guys who also have a professional background & some ambition in life?

Aren't there other women for these guys to bother & send these impassioned "I need you" notes to? Surely I can't be the only attractive woman in NYC with naturally red hair, a career, ambition & looks. I'm not the only model; let's balance out some of this stalker shit.

Plus, I have yet to see any super hotties be stalkers. None bothering me have ever been the kind of guy women would throw their panties at "just because." Now maybe it's just that guys I find attractive haven't been the stalker type since I'm sure looks have zero to do with a guy becoming a stalker. Please tell me there are hot ones guilty of it as well.

Some of you might think "Oh, I'd love to have stalkers." No you don't. If you wanted a stalker, he wouldn't be a stalker. He'd be a guy you want to do naughty things with. Another downside to being pretty & I'm not even famous at this point. God help me if that happens. I'll need a full security staff with military gear.

Severely Delusional People & Why Unconditional Love is a Myth

I'm amazed at the completely delusional nature of some people. For some reason, the last people I'd expect to want to deal with me have been sending me LinkedIn connection requests. One came from someone I filed a lawsuit against in small claims court. In fact, I could have appeared on TV if I'd kept that case going & not gotten my money; I did get a call from The People's Court over it.

Yesterday's was a doozy, though. It came from someone who headed an enterprise I later learned was illegal to engage in in one of the states where I have a law license.

I told the grievance committee of that state the owner's name & offered to give them whatever they wanted to keep this guy from getting another attorney there to violate ethics rules. Why on earth would he want to have me as a LinkedIn connection?

Who does this to people? What would possess you to be a LinkedIn connection with someone who disapproves of you, sued you, or did something heinous to you or your business? I refuse all these since there's that saying "Birds of a feather flock together." Why would I let you be my connection & fuck up MY reputation with your general fuckery?

I'm sure people get these requests on Facebook as well. Again, I ask why. Plus, I'm pretty direct when I don't want to deal with someone. I don't leave that stuff in the air or make you think things could be cool between us someday after the tempest has passed. If you've done something truly awful to me, I'll tell you. I will also tell you that you're dead to me or not to bother contacting me ever again. It takes real effort to make me feel that way but once you do, there's no turning back. My dislike & general hatred on someone who's wronged me is legendary: you can ask around. In fact, I'm so direct with people on that stuff precisely so I don't have to get their Facebook friend request or their LinkedIn connection request. LinkedIn really needs a block button, I swear. Situations like this are why we need block buttons; there are some severely delusional people on this planet.

Today, I actually went to my first 2 social events since my father died. Something told me to go to the second one even though I found out about it hours before the other one. The subway schedule told me to go to that one first so I did. Turned out to be a good move on my part. Did have some good conversations & hopefully will have new contacts from it. Got home really late & I'm sure to be fucking up my sleep before going to the doctor who handles girly parts tomorrow.

I've not had a check-up in years since my last one dropped off the face of the earth, literally. His number was disconnected, his website vanished, all trace of him was gone (which sucked). A childfree person like me doesn't have an easy time getting one & even though I already had a tubal, I don't need anyone foisting the Church of Baby on me. Spare me! I've got a total of 6 nieces & nephews. More kids is the last thing my family needs; I also have zero patience so maybe not such a good idea to tell me about the joys of motherhood & how I'm incomplete as a person unless I breed. I only look at providers in Manhattan since the jerks in my area kept telling me they were going to talk me out of getting a tubal like I was 15 years old; it's weird that there are people in Queens who act like they live in rural Kentucky or something. That bothers me on multiple levels & makes me feel isolated from it.

The office I called was able to see me tomorrow so I was like "Okay." I also got my assurance I wouldn't be getting harassed on that issue. I think if I did, I would have to point out the latest attempts to turn women into barefoot, pregnant baby factories with no brains or ambitions of their own. Sorry but I'd have to kill myself in that world or become a prostitute/comfort girl. I'm sure those who know me could totally see me being a hooker in that society. Maybe I'd become the hooker who killed the biggest offenders of sexism in her off time using creative methods.

So, why is unconditional love a myth? I was telling this to a friend of mine today in describing something personal about me I was pretty sure he didn't know. Not sure if he agreed with me on it but if you disagree, I'm going to break it down for you if you hear me out.

I was telling him of my long established policy of telling any guy who wanted to be serious with me that I wasn't going to relive my childhood of living with an alcoholic & that it would be unfair to ask me to do so. Selfish, cruel, those words could fit as well. If you lived through things in your childhood or a prior relationship, there's no way you'd regress to that experience if you'd fully made it out.

"Unconditional" means you take someone regardless, no matter what. But most of us wouldn't say that means you have to stay with a domestic abuser. Well, living with an alcoholic or a drug dealer would be for me the equivalent of suffering domestic violence except you're living that mentally & emotionally. If you haven't lived it, you can't really grasp what it's like.

To avoid worrying about anyone I cared about becoming an alcoholic, my policy was not to marry a drinker. My mom even told us not to do that & used her own story as proof of what happens if you do. She didn't marry him as an asshole drunk who had blackouts, damaged her property & made her fear for her personal safety. He progressed to that. I live my life with passion & if you're my friend, I care a lot about you. Imagine how I feel about my husband. Luckily, he's not given me that fear.

I think everyone's got a breaking point, an area where they'd say "Enough is enough! I'm out of here." To love unconditionally would be irrational in my book since that means you're taking the domestic abuser for life, you're giving up everything for someone (including your identity, your friends, your interests, anything you hold dear) & you become a doormat. Maybe I'm just not as good a person or am more selfish but I think people shouldn't be condemned or punished for refusing to give up who they are or let their "love" abuse them, whether it's physically, mentally, sexually, whatever. For me, that's not love. It wouldn't be love for me if my husband ignored me on that whole alcohol thing & started acting just like my father did when I was younger.

I tolerated much more from guys I simply dated than anyone I wanted a future with. Drinking wasn't a big deal to me from dates since I didn't have to live with them or deal with shared finances. I also avoided asshole drunks & only went out with social drinkers. A big difference but when you go through something like that, you feel like you've survived a long battle. I definitely did and freedom was (and still is) a huge thing for me. When you haven't had it, you cherish it when you get it.

Find me someone who's got unconditional love for someone & I'll show you how it isn't unconditional. I'd definitely put you in the severely delusional category if you in fact had unconditional love for someone; it would mean you have no personal identity or only have it at your spouse's leisure.

The "Resolution" & Living By Your Wits

I must be a psychic. Or maybe I'm just smarter than the people working in the public library system.

As I predicted, Mr. Ineffectual did exactly what I expected. He rewarded my husband with a demotion and transfer to a worse neighborhood. My husband then tells me he has to go back to the shit situation he'd dealt with in the first place. I said if he did, we'd no longer have a happy marriage. I also asked how he'd feel if someone hurt me b/c he was "doing his job." He claimed he had no choice & I disagreed. This became a huge fight, where he decided to leave.

The Ineffectual one made the mistake of calling my home while I was on the phone with my brother in law. I was extremely pissed off & trying to talk to my family to calm down. If you'd heard me, you'd know I was in a mood to kill. The phone rang twice & I figured it would keep up if I didn't answer.

I made sure to inform this mental midget about my being an attorney with contacts (you know, not the average schlub who has to suck up to law firm partners). His response? "Good for you."

In retrospect, I should have "But bad for you." It is, after all. However, my husband adamantly refused to mention it to anyone & claimed doing so wouldn't make a difference. Uh, yeah like he knows anything about what it's like to be an attorney or have that on your name. How many incidents has he heard about or witnessed where someone suddenly treated us or me differently after hearing about me being an attorney? You would think the man would know better.

This is also the same man who said the union couldn't help him on various injustices that he informed me about.

Well, I'm ready to give them some credit for this one since they did help him. I warned him that I didn't view these people as MY "betters" and would not be kissing their asses. Those who know me already know I don't kiss ass for anyone. If anything, I'm one of THEIR "betters!"

The union contacted the library's attorney. I expected the attorney to have a brain & say "Wait a minute. You're not allowed to demote this guy for having safety concerns. Plus, what message are you sending to everyone else? The PR will fuck you up as well."

If we'd informed him about me being an attorney, I think he'd have also considered that I could get quality legal counsel far more easily than these other employees (or peons, as I know they are regarded as) if something happened to my husband after all that. Maybe handing the lawyer a slam dunk legal case isn't such a hot idea, right? Especially one with the network & connections I have.

Not mentioning that information means my husband was given a non-option the next morning when he spoke to Mr. Ineffectual. Maybe the attorney should be called Anti-Social Dumbass.

I researched him & learned that not only is he not licensed in NY state but that he's apparently not a member of any bar associations and may as well have zero LinkedIn contacts. Attorneys always mention bar association memberships on LinkedIn. Seems this lack of networking also goes to the top brass there, though you hear nothing but "Network, network, network!" in the legal field even if you are a super veteran. When the ship finally sinks all the way (and we know it's sinking), this attorney will be fucked not just with lack of networking but with my informing people of this situation. He may even have a grievance hearing before him if the library is doing what we & many others suspect they are.

I even went to a program Thursday night were the panelists told people to join the bar associations and get involved there to get contacts!

Ultimately, my husband chose the placement where he'd not be getting a demotion & assured me there wouldn't be a safety issue. The union rep also said there were fewer incidents in this so-called "dangerous" area than in my own neighborhood (which isn't know as a bastion of crime & refuge for criminals).

See why I'm rooting for gentrification and saying "Go fuck yourself" to my local community? Want me to give a damn? Get rid of that manager & don't be silent. Silence is acceptance.

It is, seriously. Not saying "Hell, no! Not taking this shit," = "I'm okay with it" in my book. Don't whine to me about something if you're not talking to the local representatives & demanding accountability for this shit. If you aren't planning a hit against your oppressors or doing something, ANYTHING, to stop them then you've got nothing to complain about. This goes back to my basic attitude about making your own happiness and luck in this life.

Oh, and if you're doing anything to remotely benefit the Queens Public Library don't expect me to pee on you if you're on fire. These pricks made it very fucking personal & this neighborhood I've lived in for 6 years is nothing I take any pride in, not even remotely.

I don't help saboteurs; saboteurs can go drown in acid or face something far more gruesome for all I care. I wouldn't shed tears for their misfortune either; in fact, I'd probably celebrate it. Remember, I never signed up to "be a bigger person"; when you never signed up for such things you aren't held to those kinds of standards.

Also, causing shit in my household and with my loved ones is the same as doing it to me directly. How many of you go around helping or even saying "Hello" in a non-bitchy way to YOUR saboteurs?

My husband isn't on my good list right now either but that's because he doesn't love himself enough to have stood up for himself, told these pricks about that other placement & dealt with his interests as needed. He was too busy going through life like a scared bunny.

Reading a letter in this week's Dear Prudence & some of the comments was illuminating and definitely hit close to home. It was the one about the college student who is stuck in a job she hates, has no family to bail her out if times get rough & wanted to leave, getting an opportunity to move to NYC.

Well, I'm the one who left a paying job in Atlanta to go to law school in CT. I'm also the one who was going to leave with $600, my car & a few personal belongings a few months prior since I hated being in NC that much and saw no light at the end of the tunnel. Condo Man, who was older than me, had a momentary purpose in my life. I definitely am of the "do it while you can" school & favor living by your wits and having some hope in life over being secure but miserable. That is one of many reasons why "security" isn't an argument that resonates with me.

If all else fails, my life will be a Tarantino film. Not an ideal course of action & probably a waste of what I could have done but there will still be some fulfillment of potential, just in a negative direction. If you're going down, go down swinging.

Why is it that 90% of jobs these days require employees to be dogs? Why not stop advertising that you are seeking staff or employees and just tell the truth? You want robots or dogs, not people. Stop wasting time & shitting on people's dignity!

McDonald's obviously hasn't gotten the message either, as you can read in this story. Is it that hard for these CEOs to figure out or are they just so damn greedy & selfish that they can't see or think straight?

What the Holy Fuck?!?!?!? Craig's List Ads, Part 7 & The Ideal Job for Me

In the midst of the craziness I'm dealing with in being a cat wrangler (the vet has given our little tabby feline a nearly 100% clean bill of health; we're just waiting on the toxoplasmosis screening), I just noticed that I had all of these ads to rail on including an encounter with someone who has totally missed the boat on Networking 101.

I also encountered a fucking idiot on LinkedIn of all places who apparently decided to denounce non-Jewish attorneys wholesale and when I called him out on it, then claimed "It was a joke; I can't believe you took it seriously. We laughed about it at our office."

Funny but last I checked LinkedIn was for PROFESSIONALS who were doing legitimate things & asking legitimate questions, not a forum to attack my profession or declare yourself superior b/c you're an actor (or to jerk around, for that matter). The awesomeness of Jewish attorneys aside, don't dare make judgments about me when you've never worked with, met me in person or even spoken directly to me.

Attorneys have more education than the average actor, film exec and film producer so you best not be a prick, buttercup. You'd better believe I'm going to call out some mental midget who thinks they've got any prayer in this business by alienating entertainment attorneys. That's a promise.

Take yesterday. I saw this ad on Craig's List posted in the Manhattan, NYC section:

Beautiful Recording Artist looking to network & Gain Exposure!

Beautiful Florida recording artist is seeking someone or a company in Atlanta to help promote upcoming music campaign. Artist is very seasoned, but needs a strong person, that can help build fanbase in that area. Please contact via email for photos & links!

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: neg

Seeing this & having lived in Atlanta for a time (plus not being a fucking idiot & seizing potential opportunity when I see it), I write this in response:

Some free advice: if you want to network in Atlanta, maybe you shouldn't be posting this in NYC Craig's List in the Manhattan section. You should be actually posting in the Atlanta section; you might have better luck there.

As for me, I'm an entertainment law attorney in NYC with a NY & CT law license who went to undergrad in Atlanta. If you think you don't need to know entertainment law attorneys even if you have one or they're in a different region, you're in for a massive wake up call.

Friendly enough, right? Definitely is if you know me. Plus, it's true. Remember that 98% of the creatives I encounter in this business will kiss lawyer butt & that doesn't just go for low level folks; we're also talking A-listers and people very high up in the food chain who can (possibly are) pricks to most of humanity but don't pull that with lawyers.

Here's the response I got:

You are a psycho. Please get a life. Who said ANYTHING about not needing an attorney? not me. Goodbye

My response?

Dumbass! Looks like someone is not only illiterate but completely stupid.

First off, we don't even post our attempt to network in the correct city. Manhattan does not = Atlanta. If it did, I would have found Mr. Right long before I ever moved to the Northeast. In fact, I could have had Mr. Right come with me to NYC if that were the case. Trust me, it's not.

Second, we lie about wanting to network since most people who claim to want to network are not just nice but in some ways are deferential to attorneys. I've had people outright say they were scared of me. I expect basic civility & usually get people falling all over themselves to compliment me or be nice to me.

Third, entertainment attorneys cost a shit ton of money. Friends will get reduced rates and accommodating, regardless of the industry someone is involved in. Would you behave like an ass to a heart doctor if you had a heart condition? Would you be nasty to a criminal defense attorney if you were sitting in jail? Then, why are you being nasty to an entertainment attorney if you are a performer?

Doesn't matter if you already have legal counsel. Your lawyer could die, get disbarred, retire, sell his/her firm, get fired from the mega firm, get suspended (those ethics rules can be strict), steal your money, fall off the face of the Earth, etc. No one who has or wants to do ANYTHING in the entertainment industry is nasty to a licensed entertainment attorney. Ever.

Doing so announces to me that you're not the hot stuff you think you are. If you're trying to do international work, your domestic attorney can't do shit for you when it comes to understanding those contracts. If you think you don't need a NY or CA licensed attorney to do work in NYC or LA, you're not only stupid but a class A, fucking idiot. You might as well just hand over your money to that Nigerian attorney who contacted you about your relative's estate.

Finally, this "very seasoned artist" is trying to network using Craig's List. Guess we're not so "seasoned" after all, are we?

Oh, and since I do what I do & have my track record you'd better believe I'll remember my encounters with you and warn my contacts accordingly. I can be your greatest ally or your worst nightmare. It's up to you.

If you want to respond to this lying airhead before the post expires, here's the reply e-mail:

hjkxp-3702059618@gigs.craigslist.org

More utter stupidity from the entertainment community:

Assistant to Actress (NYC/LA)

Looking for a full time assistant to an actress in NEW YORK CITY and LOS ANGELES primarily.

Applicant must be college educated, be willing and able to travel without notice, have a valid drivers license and live in Manhattan.

Job responsibilities include but are not limited to:
- basic personal assistant tasks such as scheduling and booking appointments, managing calendars, arranging travel, picking up/dropping off dry cleaning, miscellaneous errands, phone calls,
emails etc...
- basic household management tasks such as making sure townhouse functions smoothly (scheduling regular maintenance (AC/HEAT, pest control, security system, gardener, etc), overseeing deliveries of household items.
- professional responsibilities range from liaising with talent agents, publicists, hair and makeup agents, fashion pr on a regular basis and specifically during awards season or press tours.
- responsibilities involved when on location or traveling include driving employer to work when on location, or to appointments, etc, light grocery shopping, managing, organizing, light cleaning of hotel room or house.

Please do not reply if you do not meet the following requirements:
College Educated
Willing and able to travel (sometimes without notice)
Possess a valid drivers license
Live in Manhattan

*Only females will be considered due to the personal nature of the job. Employer is female.*
Hours are flexible but an ability to be on call 24/7 when needed is a strict requirement.
Starting salary is NON NEGOTIABLE $30,000.

Please respond with a resume and short description of yourself and your qualifications.

Location: NYC/LA
Compensation: $30,000
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Posting ID: 3609654649

Assistant to Actress (or is it Underpaid Slave?)

Someone's a moron to think anyone's going to work on-call for that piddling rate. Try triple that salary if you want real responses. Otherwise, this actress should be prepared to be a victim of petty theft. I know I won't shed any tears if that happens.

Entirely true & this is obviously not a legitimate actress if that's the employment terms. May she suffer some skeezy director that makes her life a living Hell! This bitch would totally deserve it for this attempt at slavery.

Tell me, what is up with all these ads from so-called industry professionals that insist on breaking basic labor & wage laws? Here's another one:

Talent Management company seeking an Intern as a Personal Assistant (NYC)

A boutique Talent Management Company in NYC is looking for an intern (unpaid) to work as a personal assistant. Management company works mainly with actors, actresses and models. You MUST have prior experience in the listed tasks in the Film & TV Industries. You need to be well versed in new & upcoming Films and TV shows. You would want to develop a career as a talent manager at some point. You MUST have experience in at least 2 of the below tasks. Please be local as our office is located in Manhattan.

Tasks: (ALL equally important)

• Work with talent and match talent to new & upcoming projects.
• Get updated constantly & get familiar with different casting calls.
• Find & book auditions.
• Connect & network with different casting personnel for the purpose of advancing talent.

Qualities: (ALL equally important)

• Be focused on the tasks at hand.
• Quick thinking and adapting.
• Punctual
• Serious and business oriented.
• Not afraid to step out of your comfort zone.
• Pro-active, someone who does not wait to be told what to do.
* Business Attire a must

You MUST have experience in the above tasks and is able to carry out the above tasks and have the qualities listed. Please also specify in the body of the email what kind of experience you have relating to the film and TV industries. Please send resume as an attachment. If you DON'T have the needed experience, PLEASE, do not reply to this ad.

Location: NYC
Compensation: Full Time Internship
This is an internship job

This was another one warranting a response & another Craig's List ad was posted the same day that tied into the response:

You are obviously NOT a legitimate company or you'd know this ad is totally illegal & would never have posted it.  Do you NOT know state & federal labor laws?  By definition an "intern" has ZERO prior experience.  People with prior experience are called "skilled workers"; those people have to be paid a wage BY LAW.

AND you want "business attire" along with someone coming to YOUR office for ZERO PAY?  Who the hell do you think YOU are?  Oh, and full time internships are also illegal.

Do YOU pay to work for people?  Do you book jobs and NOT take a percentage for them?  Do you get percentages when you don't even bother doing the work & talent gets them all by their lonesomes?  Would YOU accept such an arrangement?  I'll bet you wouldn't forfeit your percentage even if you did nothing to make a job happen.

If YOU wouldn't work for these terms, then what makes you think anyone else with basic competence will?  Who would pay $112 per month to do YOUR work?  Not to mention the possible expense of hundreds of dollars to get proper business attire (maybe $200 if the person finds a good deal on "business attire"; business suits are about $100 for a single one & decent dress pants go for about $50+ depending on where you go as well as if any alterations are needed).  Even a trust fund baby would be pissed off by your arrogance & entitlement attitude.

Go fuck yourself & learn how the business world works.  Clearly, you haven't got a clue & I sure wouldn't want you representing ME.  Business owners ARE watching & how you treat the lesser of all is a huge factor in our calculations.

Signed, An Attorney Who Owns an Entertainment Business & Isn't a Fucking Scumbag

P.S. There's a law firm dedicated to suing employers who use unpaid internships & they have gone after big industry players.  Keep it up & you will be next.


You may also wish to read the following since you are obviously stupid or exploitative jerks who deserve what they get:


THE LAW CONCERNING UNPAID INTERNSHIPS!
JOB SEEKERS..... LISTEN UP!


TO EVEN OFFER AN UNPAID INTERNSHIP,
THE EMPLOYER MUST HAVE THE NECESSARY ACCREDITATION.


PLEASE CLICK ON THE LINKS BELOW AND READ.


http://www.trepanierlaw.com/whatsnew.asp?id=201205012100

http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/07/the-uses-and-misuses-of-unpaid-internships/

http://www.consumer-classactions.com/investigations/internet-scam/are-you-an-unpaid-intern/

http://www.newyorkemploymentattorneyblog.com/2010/05/department_of_labor_issues_gui.html

http://moneyland.time.com/2012/05/02/the-beginning-of-the-end-of-the-unpaid-internship-as-we-know-it/

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/06/business/unpaid-internships-dont-always-deliver.html?pagewanted=all

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/03/business/03intern.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&pagewanted=all&adxnnlx=1338073718-f5iYNeiL9CE6KLAWxef+aw

I wonder if this is for that bitch talent manager who sent me unsolicited communication then had the gall to try charging me for a networking meeting? Such unprofessionalism wouldn't shock me in the least from that corner.

I hope all attorneys involved in production companies check these things out about management companies they deal with & refuse to put money in their pockets. After all, I'm sure someone could make the argument that the filmmaker attorney involved is violating ethics rules by perpetuating that company's violation of labor laws. Facts I stated there are also 100% true; there is a law firm dedicated to suing employers who engage in the practice of illegal internships.

If you want to respond & it's still up, use this:

6xbkh-3696822933@job.craigslist.org

And actors I will definitely note who your manager or agent is & if I know that they are violators of labor laws or doing something remotely shady or unethical that I don't want our company perpetuating by giving them money (or my license being at issue as a result), I will have to pass on you. Sorry you'll have to suffer but you need to take some responsibility for your career & presentation as well. If you want to get someplace with legitimate folks, you need to have credible representatives who aren't breaking laws or abusing others.

Think about how they'll treat you if they treat their interns like shit.

Oh, and there are more reasons for you new attorneys & writers to be pissed off at employers and wish for the owners/management to be immersed head first into vats of hydrochloric acid (HCl for the science geeks; I used it enough in Chemistry lab--I got enough warnings about it being nasty stuff without deciding to go find out for myself). Feast your eyes on these ads:

Blogger Interns Wanted (remote)

Digital marketing consultancy seeks qualified blogging interns.

Learn the business and increase your body of work.

Send resume and writing samples.

College credit available if applicable.

Location: remote
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

Posting ID: 357974497

This is called "volunteer work." No one's learning anything from this. You can't be a "blogging intern;" you're either a paid professional writer or an amateur/volunteer writer. As far as I'm concerned, most commercial writing should be paid for though at least these people aren't as prickish as they could be: you can work at home.

However, I see nothing about bylines or attribution for your work so why would you bother if you can't even use the samples to get a paying job?

Now, for you new lawyers:

Law Office Intern - Volunteer (Brighton Beach )
Personal Injury Law Office in South Brooklyn needs Intern-Volunteer. We are looking for a person to work full time M-F and be able to commit to work for at least three months.

Small compensation will be provided. Position may lead to future employment.

Experience with personal injury and SAGA preferred.

Please respond by email as to your availability and attach resume.

Location: Brighton Beach
Compensation: Intern - Volunteer
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

I responded to this since I'm an attorney & was shocked to see this ad.

Full time internships are illegal. Go read up on state & federal labor laws.

Furthermore, you're a law firm & whoever owns it is subject to legal ethics rules. I know the ethics rules of NY state apply to Brighton Beach/South Brooklyn. Have some respect for the person if you're already paying some compensation & use the term "assistant" instead of "intern" or "volunteer." That's just insulting & could easily get you disciplined for violating the law.

Do YOU "volunteer" your legal services to clients? If you don't, then maybe you should try getting a clue & having some humanity toward others. You're definitely not helping the reputation of personal injury attorneys and firms with an ad like this.

Seriously, if you're already paying someone for something why are you demeaning them by calling them an "intern?" That's an insult in my book if you are making them work full time. Stop being an asshole & call that person what they are: an employee. Even an independent contractor/freelance arrangement for temporary full time work is better than calling someone an "intern."

This will also piss you off if you live in the area:

Part time attorney needed (Mamaroneck, NY)

Entry level, part time (minimum 20 hours) attorney for a law firm located in Mamaroneck, NY. The firm does civil litigation in both state court and arbitration, and criminal litigation as well. Morning hours only. Your duties will include:

- Case preparation for both litigation and arbitration matters
- Court appearances in both civil, criminal court & arbitration hearings
- Trials
- Legal research, writing & motion practice
- Handling new client inquiries and existing client customer service
- Communicating with courts and other law firms
- Settling civil cases

Military veterans encouraged to apply. If you are over qualified but none the less desire to apply we will entertain your application but we are firm on the starting compensation. All interested candidates please send your resume via e-mail.

Location: Mamaroneck, NY
Compensation: $15.00 an hour non-negotiable
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Reply: vzzqg-3673763465@job.craigslist.org

Why should you new attorneys be pissed off by this? I made $15 an hour on my last freelance gig & didn't have to do legal work. The work study rate at my law school legal clinic for working in the summer was $10 an hour.

Oh, and they "are firm on the starting compensation" even if someone's got years of experience but just needs a fair wage to pay student loans and put food on the table. I think this firm's partners need to live on the streets for a while. Maybe have to rely on food stamps, not be able to pay student loan debt. Sounds like these people are of the ilk that have "hobo parties" at Christmas like that one Wall Street firm did.

If you're wondering why people don't respect the legal profession or numerous attorneys hate other attorneys, especially on a generational level, look no further than these ads.

And this little gem:

In House Attorney Needed (Queens) (Queens)

In House Attorney Needed (Queens)
In house attorney needed for a busy car rental location. We need someone who specializes in labor law, insurance claims, some real estate, and small claims.

Must be great with Motions, Excellent writer and have good research skills.
Can work part time or full time starting salary 30 K
Serious inquiries ONLY
Essential Duties and Responsibilities:
-------------------------------------
* Handling a variety of legal/business matters pertaining to the organization, including providing corporate and commercial legal services.
* Assist the corporation in preparing customers contracts.
* Draft, review and negotiate a variety of contracts related to project development and finance.
* Provide legal advice and recommendations regarding corporate policies and compliance with state and federal laws.
* Pursue legal action against individuals and firms that have breached contracts and caused damage to the firm.
* Review, file and prepare various applications and registrations.
* Prepare documentation to avoid contract disputes with clients.

Requirements
--------------
* 1+ years' experience either with a law firm or in an in-house situation.
* Proven experience in contract negotiations, problem solving and management of risks.
* Proven experience in completing complex transactions
* Commitment to professionalism; flexibility as to the types of projects assigned; and solid business acumen required.
* Ability to multitask
* Strong work ethic and high professional and ethical standards

Sorry, bitches. If you want MY in-house expertise you're going to have to pay me far more than $30K a year. Let's break down the hourly salary for that, shall we?

30,000/12 = $2500 a month

2500/4 = $625

625/40 (though the number could easily be higher with a legal job but let's make this a minimum amount of hours you'd be expected to work) = $15.63 an hour

625/20 (the average part-time hours but with a legal job, assume you'll be expected to do more) = $31.25 an hour

This is not even taking into account taxes. Let's do that now & assume you're taking 25% out for taxes (either you personally or the employer).

2500 x .25 = $625

2500 - 625 = $1875 per month

How much are YOUR student loan debts in a month? Would this amount even cover those? If you're working full time, is this even worth it?

NYC rent would eat up nearly all this paycheck (even in Queens) unless you had roommates, lived in a rent control/stabilized apartment, got housing from Mommy & Daddy, had no children, lived in the boonies where there's zero viable public transit (where your costs would be gobbled up by travel expenses from driving) and weren't the bread winner.

I made $25K when working in a mid-sized law firm pre-law school. Oh, and 1+ year of experience is NOT entry level. Even $30k entry level for an attorney after all the schooling & student loans 90% of us have to incur is an insult.

Crap like this says to me "We want a trust fund baby to do this vs. an actual professional who can interact with the general public without being a total asshole." This is a business owner that announces to me that they do not respect or value legal services to offer such a pathetic rate.

This is a paralegal wage, not a wage for a licensed attorney subjected to ethics rules & who has to pay for CLEs, bar association fees, malpractice insurance, student loan payments, etc.

What "excellent writer" is going to jump on this? Even a trust fund baby who could have gone to Harvard would be able to get far more lucrative job offers than this insult. I would hope any of you who read this blog & aren't dealing with student loans or came from some Ivy League school i.e. could get a BigLaw job in 5 seconds would be insulted by this on general principle.

On the other hand, I saw this ad & never got a response despite the fact that I'd be perfect for such a thing:

Seeking Marketing Partner (Midtown East)

This is not a job- I am seeking a law partner.

Experienced business attorney (15+ yrs.) seeks licensed attorney who enjoys the rainmaking and marketing aspects of business. My practice is in business law including contracts, leasing, licensing, debt negotiations and real estate. My practice already exists and has nice websites. I seek a law partner who is a skilled and dynamic marketer. I provide the skills and experience and will handle the client work.

You must be serious, committed and be able to start in your own practice. No capital is needed, but time must be invested. Experience in law is not as important as being a persistent people-person, make a great in-person presentation and have good networking skills or good existing business contacts.

Thank you.

I would love this opportunity. Somehow, this attorney figured out the perfect arrangement for this legal warrior. Why is it so ideal for me?

1. I don't want to leave my field of interest but as we all know, very few entertainment professionals make a living solely from entertainment work.

2. "Rainmaking" & "marketing" are synonymous with NETWORKING & HUSTLING. These are things I have done a lot in my career. When you own a business, you have to.

If you've got passion for something, it's also very easy to do. People have said to me that my passion for my business/the entertainment industry is obvious & undeniable.

So, could I do this? Yeah! Actually, hell fucking yeah.

3. Most attorneys aren't good at selling themselves. Many will outright tell you this. Few actually do what this lawyer did & actively seek out a partner to just handle that stuff. They try to do it all or make someone do the marketing/rainmaking AND do cases.

4. I don't want to do the client work. I tried doing that; it didn't work well for me. Litigation & court proceedings in particular are not something I consider a solo endeavor. I could do them in a team but not all alone. If it's not an entertainment or strictly transactional matter with a limited duration, I don't want to deal with it. No one I've encountered has bothered to consider paying me a fair rate for it.

My particular circumstances don't even allow me to invest in years on a case.

I want to know why in God's name I can't do this for some firm. Why can't some established attorney/firm realize that it's not good at marketing to some target population & outsource to someone who IS personable, accessible, understands the attorney perspective + has my looks? Most female attorneys aren't getting mistaken for actresses like I often do.

Most don't have the acting training or even my contacts, especially at the stage I'm in. Oh, and show me the attorney you're going to remember after a second meeting.

The only people who don't remember me after meeting me once have mental defects or are just aching to be my future victims if I ever have to go on that crime spree since it would require little for me to victimize them.

It feels like the only way you could do this is if you do BOTH the legal work & the networking, work on commission (which I refuse to do when I'd have to travel, go to networking events, lunch, meetings, etc.) or deal with someone who isn't established enough to pay you a fair wage. You also can't get most attorneys to admit that they have shortcomings & maybe bother being fair to someone who has the skills they don't.

I think $50K a year minimum is more than fair for me to do such things or equity in a profitable practice with coverage for travel costs, admission fees to events, etc. along with autonomy for me & a reduced salary that will still cover student loan payments that's not based exclusively on commission or a draw.

I don't make beelines for people 5 seconds after I arrive someplace & I'm not a huckster. Let me work my way & don't penalize me if I don't bat 1,000 every single time.

A fair job where I made $50K a year would be fine for me but apparently, the employers I see posting ads act like asking for it is akin to demanding one of those $1,000 gold flaked sundaes from Serendipity 3 served on a silver platter (even if you have prior experience). Frankly, if someone can't meet my minimum, they've told me they have no respect for me or my abilities which = they are assholes & I don't want to deal with them. Would you?

Find me that firm or attorney. Seriously, I'd consider such an arrangement. With my name & heightened profile, it looks like you'd be dumb not to talk to me about such things. The average person doesn't want to talk to a stuffy BigLaw suit; they want a living, breathing human being they can shoot the breeze with and let their hair down around.

Oh, and at least one person is just as fed up as me with stupid bullshit ads on Craig's List:

NO BUDGET? NO PHOTOGRAPHER! (New York)

Anyone out there either starting out or looking for work, don't sell yourself short.

If you hear all these idiots on craigslist with "no budget" but in dire need of a photographer, DO NOT TAKE THE JOB. These people will never give you paid work. There will never be any perks to these jobs. These are takers, not givers. Credits on shitty blogs and websites do not pay the bills and unless they're getting over 100k users hitting there sites daily, it won't mean jack shit for you.

If a company wants quality work and a professional, then they have a budget. If they're too greedy to pay for a photographer, why should you give away your hard work and time for free?

Every day I see more and more of these posts and it's unacceptable. We have to stand together and mark them all as spam. Respond to these posts and tell them how it doesn't work that way. I know I do! We have bills to pay like everyone else. We work hard, we don't ask people for free advertising or free camera gear. We pay just like everyone else.

Don't give in to this bullshit! NO BUDGET? NO PHOTOGRAPHER!

STAND STRONG PEOPLE!

Location: New York
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

Finally, I've had some people who got called out for BS ads bitch and moan about me doing so.

Well, guess what dummy? You post something stupid for public consumption & you deserve all the ridicule you get. Oh, I offended you or you think I'm a psycho, mean, a bully?!?!? Doesn't change the fact that you're a dumbass or a piece of garbage who needs to be taken out for the good of mankind.

You also EARN nice from me; it's not a right or an entitlement. Go fuck yourself with such demands of total strangers, especially those who are attorneys. We're the Sophia Petrillos of the world so lie down & get used to it!

If you aren't speaking out & making change in the world, you are part of the problem. Don't bitch about things if you aren't willing to speak out, be a pain in the ass when needed & create change. No one wants to hear it, least of all me.

Reaching Out to Strangers on Social Media: There's a Right Way & a Wrong Way

This comes up as I did my forum yesterday. If you didn't get to go, you missed out. Seriously. Jagger was an awesome mod who totally delivered on the promise of educational but accessible (and then some). He made me laugh with the mic talk. I've wondered about such things myself with bar associations, especially City Bar's lack of a sound system considering Thug High had one & we really didn't have much in the way of nice stuff. If Thug High, who has far less money for operations than a NYC bar association, can have a sound system, why the hell doesn't that bar association? I'd really like to know the answer. I can't be the first person to notice such things or say something.

People kept complimenting me on the speakers & my friend Monroe got swarmed by folks afterward. I kid you not. Even my business partner, who attended, wanted to meet him & I made a point to introduce those two. He said he liked Monroe since he was a hustler & remembered me mentioning him before (remember, if I like you & you're on my radar screen you will be mentioned if XYZ thing I remember about you comes up in conversation). That guy will be coming to NYCLA again if I've got anything to do with it. Before I even invited him for this, I knew it would be stupid of me not to. Sometimes being a good leader & organizer means recognizing who's going to deliver the image you're working on + mesh well with your group.

I'm trying to get the "I'm stick of stuffy" demographic since I feel like they've been ignored. I consider myself one of them & God knows I've felt ignored. Plus, what do you expect from the woman who's playing a prostitute in this year's off year show for City Bar?

Even if you're not doing nudity or sex scenes, it takes confidence & a sense of self to portray such a role. I probably couldn't have done it if it was given to me in high school, even though no one there would have believed it since I'm sure most of those guys would find it hard to believe that any guy in his right mind would pay money to sleep with me.

I have had so many compliments from this event from both creatives and lawyers/law students; people thanked me for doing it, thanked my speakers & my moderator (whom I made sure to thank since they totally deserve it & know their stuff). I also think when someone does something nice for you & helps you, you should sincerely thank them for it--at least, this is an American entertainment industry ethic. I even read an article recently on the power of public praise in the workplace & how it raised morale as well as productivity. Some bosses could use that lesson.

My husband also made me proud by networking on his own and doing targeted introductions to my business partner. Meanwhile, as the event organizer, I had to mingle and network amongst my attendees. Don't organize an event if you can't handle this. Funny that I went to an event on Thursday & another industry contact I know told me I was working the room. "Damn," I thought "Here I am, the quiet chick & I'm able to work a room. Okay, then."

As a result of that & doing last night's event, I've gotten lots of cards and met people. I have a TON of follow up to do to say the least.

Then, I've had people send me social media connection requests, particularly on Facebook. Some people use Facebook like I & others use LinkedIn.

Most of the people reaching out have been creatives or I saw they went to my forum so when I got those requests, I was like "Okay, I'll approve it. I don't think this person will try censoring me or telling me what to do." Could you imagine it? I'd handle that quickly, rest assured.

But there are always those people who send you a friend request, have no direct connections to your immediate contacts & have no information on their profiles. You're like "Who the hell are YOU and why are you so anxious to friend ME?"

It pissed me off when it happened on MySpace & it still pisses me off today.

Here's what to do & what not to do if you're reaching out to an industry person you don't know:

1. Tell the person WHY they should friend you. Often, sending a message is best for this (even if it goes to the Other mailbox) but having information on your profile available for the person's perusal or being a mutual contact can help. It does for me, at least. Show me some commonality.

One of my industry friends also agreed that sending a message when trying to friend a stranger is basic etiquette. This is the same thing for LinkedIn connection requests. I select contacts carefully so you won't get a request from me unless I saw something on your profile that interested me like a job, mutual interests, a general ethic, etc. I also do targeted networking & if I think you're going someplace or are where I'm heading, you're going to be someone I wish to talk to. You may end up becoming one of my few trusted contacts as things are moving for me.

At least the good news is I've been getting contacts lately who have their own success so maybe I won't have that whole green eyed monster problem.

2. If you haven't done this & I ask you WHY you want to friend me (which I will do if I can't find any information to support your request like mutual friends, going to my event, etc.), do NOT get all pissy about my asking.

First off, I'm an attorney. Even with entertainment attorneys, who are some of the most accessible and nicest people you will meet in the legal community, you aren't going to get sunshine and roses if an attorney doesn't know you. We attorneys are not in a popularity contest & it benefits you to respect us vs. wanting to have our babies, kill for us or be our best friends. You have to prove yourself to attorneys; as I've said a million times, you can't be an asshole to us.

Attorney may be one of the few occupations where you can get away with being an asshole to others (though maybe judge is better since attorneys can't get away with being assholes to judges). A good attorney is not some doormat throwing people under the bus to impress someone who may very well be trying to exploit them, their contacts or their clients.

Second, I'm a film executive. That's another occupation where you can get away with being an asshole, at least selectively. We are bombarded with people asking for things. It's like wearing a big sign that says "Ask me for favors." You don't even need the sign; people just do it anyway. The higher you are, the more common it is.

There is a finesse and a process to building rapport. Any film exec has every right to be suspicious of strangers who aren't doing the same thing or aren't at their level. Your job, stranger, is to show me you aren't just another asshole asking for a special favor.

Third, my public profile has increased. I'm sure to see more long lost relatives & random others popping out of the woodwork. Having a public profile means you have to be guarded and selective with who you talk to & what information you give. Again, stranger you are the one who has to prove yourself.

3. Don't be an idiot. We have lawyer jokes for a reason. Lawyers didn't get their rep for nothing, as I stated above. Me not being a stereotypical attorney asshole doesn't = embracing total strangers with 100% open arms with no questions on who they are, why they care to see all my personal updates/rants/pics/etc. Creeps & stalkers exist, especially for people in the entertainment industry. If you work in it professionally, you will encounter it sooner or later. It's probably a sign you've made it if you're getting this hassle. Caution saves us time & heartache. Professionals understand this. Not understanding it tells me you aren't a professional or you're extremely naive & something bad will eventually happen b/c you likely give that open arms treatment to strangers.

So, to recap lawyers aren't campaigning for Miss America & the good ones care more about your respect than if you like them as people. What good is someone who likes you as a person but stomps on you, subverts your authority, talks to other attorneys behind your back & excludes you from important conversations with them, etc.? Or worse, that person is breaking every law under the sun but likes you b/c you didn't do anything about it? That doesn't fly in law land; it's a fast track to getting disbarred.

I had someone do this with a friend request. It's like "Did you bother researching me? Did you read this blog? Did you ask around?" Come on, I'm the enforcer! I've also had a lot of haters in life.

Trying to get people to like you is a losing battle since I tried that early in life & failed miserably. When I stopped doing that in 8th grade, I had real friends who had my back & eventually got respect from others since I didn't tolerate anyone trying to demean me. That was worth so much more than the fake friendships I had. Eventually, I let go of all those fake friendships & decided that being in my life and getting my time was a privilege, not something I had to beg or grovel to anyone for.

Seriously, even if you aren't working in the entertainment industry or an attorney it's still a good idea not to go around begging others for approval in life & just be your own person who says "Here I am. Take it or leave it." It's been said a trillion times but it's still true: if you don't look after yourself or respect yourself, no one else is going to.

How to Ask Lawyers for Legal Help (Or For Professional Services in General)

Those of you who are lawyers are bound to appreciate this. In fact, anyone who's constantly being bombarded with expertise requests where strangers ask for freebies are going to love this one.

If you remember, I'd pretty much not bothered with doing much legal representation since some very horrible experiences with clients taking advantage of me by not paying me for my services & treating me with disrespect. Other people just went MIA but they're not part of this discussion. Those things I mentioned are huge in creating ill will & making a lawyer really hate the general public.

Very recently, I found myself the recipient of referrals & requests on legal stuff. I even read this article that discusses why attorneys shouldn't be working for free, even in this bad economy. Before that, I was talking to an acclaimed acting coach who's worked with celebrities & we got into this very conversation about people asking for freebies.

Let's make a few things clear right off the bat:

1. My legal expertise is a personal thing connected to ME, the person. I don't work at a law firm or own one so if you want me to do you a personal favor, you'd better be taking a personal interest in ME.

How can you do this? You could follow me on Twitter (or at least follow me back if I follow you, which rarely happens; otherwise, I get pissed since that's a form of disrespect in my book & I don't reach out to just anyone there). You could send me a LinkedIn connection request. Even though I don't prefer this, you could even send me a Facebook friend request.

You could also read this blog. In fact, I strongly encourage people wishing to network with me to read this blog since it will tell you whether I'm the right fit for you. If my having a personality & not judging others is an issue for you, I'd rather you not waste my time. If my having a backbone & a sense of ethics bothers you, you definitely don't need to be dealing with me. Trust me, it will save you a lot of time & headaches.

Making that personal effort is going to make me far more motivated to bother caring about your issue or helping you. When you don't do this, I've got zero motivation to care about you or your issues.

2. Do not ask for a freebie in someone's area of expertise (mine included). Unless you fall into one of the following categories, you will piss off any professional for doing so:

A) You're in a networking group with the professional where the professional has made a choice to help you. I myself don't mind doing this sort of thing for entertainment colleagues since I'm choosing to help or not.

B) You're participating in a volunteer project I'm part of. Attorneys have no problems with clients in an organization or program they've signed up to help people in. Most people pick causes they personally care about or have a connection to, though the fact that NY is going to impose a 50 hour minimum pro bono requirement as part of the admission process may very well change this.

I'd like to think, though that most attorneys doing those programs actually care about the people that come in. If they don't, they are pretty stupid & too masochistic for their own goods.

C) You're friends with that professional & not asking for something labor intensive or that takes up lots of time. Real friends don't take advantage that way. If you'd not be willing to do the professional equivalent for that friend, don't ask that of your friend. It will build resentment.

3. Don't make it personal. Attorneys in particular have strict rules & professional ethics requirements. We have to tell you that we're not your lawyer w/out a retainer agreement; we also have to put things in writing. If you don't like that, you're not capable of working with a professional & treating that person with respect. These are standard to my industry.

Any smart freelancer also puts their business transactions with clients in writing.

4. Be an adult. That means listening to what a professional has to say, thinking about what you're told & giving the person room to apply their expertise.

Some people will be collaborative with you & involve you (which I personally think is a good idea & like doing myself) but while you may be involved, that doesn't make you more skilled than the attorney. One experience prompted me not to represent anyone who thinks they're an attorney b/c they've had legal training that wasn't law school.

This also means treating the professional as you'd like to be treated. Would you want me undermining you or leaving you to hold the bag if I asked you about something? Want me to question your expertise at every turn? If that's not something you'd want one of your clients doing to you, then maybe you shouldn't be doing that to the lawyer (or whatever professional you're dealing with).

Attorneys in particular have been burned out by this mess. Your altruism & sense of compassion fades real quick after you get a client or two doing those sorts of things to you. If you think this doesn't happen, go talk to some attorneys & you'll get an education.

5. Finally, if you have another attorney involved in your company & you're using me so you don't have to pay his/her prices don't even bother unless you're offering equity and/or an in-house or junior attorney title. It's just offensive, insulting & creates confusion. If that attorney's not supervising me & is listed as "in-house counsel," then why am I present?

A newbie might be okay with "getting experience" but professionals don't need to do that so free work is nothing but slavery to them. Keep in mind that even new attorneys have a market value that's not $0.

If you remember nothing else from this, remember this: Don't ask professionals for freebies!

I also can't offer referrals to my attorney contacts if you want a freebie. If you genuinely can't afford legal services, then you either have to take what you can get (which may be a new attorney who is learning your area), go to a volunteer organization or do it yourself. Long time vets can offer to work with you or do a freebie but if you walk in asking them for one, they will get offended.

Attorneys & anyone with a high level skill aren't minimum wage workers. They are not slinging burgers or doing simple tasks a child could do. They are using professional expertise, likely acquired through tons of student loan debt & may have to pay a fortune to keep licenses. If you wouldn't pay your doctor the same rate you'd pay a Wal-Mart cashier, then you'd better not be doing that to a lawyer. I don't care how much you hate lawyers.

My Love/Hate Relationship With The Legal Field

I feel that way about a lot of it. One of NYCLA's committees and the Cardozo School of Law Indie Film Clinic folk are shining examples.

There are things I like about NYCLA:

1. Cheaper CLE courses
2. Cheaper membership fees & more flexible terms for the unemployed
3. More dedication to get with modern times & actually use technology instead of just hopping on the bandwagon
4. Some great staff, including Stewart Aaron, who I know through the City Bar Entertainment Committee. He even contributed to my company's latest attempt at crowd funding though the campaign ultimately failed. In short, he rocks!
5. Perhaps a bit more accessibility to higher ups than to people at City Bar
6. I've been told this one is also more progressive in ideas & open to new things than City Bar; I see some of that

Here's what I really don't like: the total lack of respect. I found out that NYCLA's Art Committee is seeking entries for the 2nd Annual Film Festival. I submitted some films last year; 2 were shown & 1 was told her film would be shown in the spring (because last year, the festival was in the Fall).

My friend whose film was supposed to be shown in the Spring never heard a word from them again. I even asked today to make sure; never heard a damn thing.

While there was a whole article in there lauding one particular film I don't recall seeing as part of this series, there was no mention of any plans to screen her film & it did have a legal theme. To my knowledge, no one even told her they'd changed their minds.

This just pisses me off since first off, it comes on top of having to complain when I was not given credit for submitting the initial short film that came in (whose application I personally sent in for the filmmaker I nominated). My company got a decent welcome & treatment when we came in the next month but I have to wonder if it's because I threatened to pull us out of there after not getting recognized for nominating the first film that I got into the series.

The total snubbing of my friend really makes me look back & wonder about that.

Second, it's disrespect to me. I'm putting my neck out there & vouching for this organization to MY contacts, who don't know this place from anywhere else. Many of my contacts have things you're never going to see in some mainstream theater. They have art & I don't vouch for folk who don't have talent or a product I like.

As for more disrespect to me, I was told that the Indie Film Clinic at Cardozo would be considering attorneys to volunteer there this past fall.

Okay, first off I've been in the indie film game for 4 years at my own company!! I've been doing things that most attorneys don't get to do & I'm perceived in a way they aren't: I'm not just some lawyer in a suit (good luck finding one that doesn't look frumpy on me). I'm a creative person MYSELF & have cred for it--I never even had to ask anyone to see my creative works. I actually know how to talk to creative types & make things clear without the legalese or elitist attitude.

I'm actually IN that world! I'm not some outsider looking in. I know the fucking culture, something I really don't see the average law firm attorney having! Most of you aren't going to have executive knowledge.

As I know law schools are obsessed with GPA, law review participation & where you went to law school (despite the head of this clinic saying they would look at one's practical experience in selection choices), it seems to me that you're not going to get effective help here if you're an indie filmmaker.

I've never recommended it to anyone & I still won't. Indie filmmaking continues to change & what worked 10 years ago doesn't necessarily work today (this was even stated by the presenter at my Aspiring Filmmakers' Bootcamp, himself a well known indie filmmaker). Unless you're a lawyer who actually has some creative cache in the business (prior or current experience in an entertainment role, close friends within it, etc.), you don't know shit about getting that client trust & respect. Hollywood is also very different from the indie world. I don't know of many attorneys in law firms who'd bother to research the indie film culture & I don't mean "indie" like the movie aired on IFC. I'm speaking of true, underground indie that most people don't know about & you have to actually FIND to know about.

Who else finds something wrong with an indie film clinic where an attorney that actually WORKS in the indie film industry as executive + lawyer is not being contacted to get involved? That elitist BS doesn't fly in my world. No one cares about your Harvard law degree & if you bring it up, you'll be announcing yourself as a privileged douchebag who can't help the average indie filmmaker. No one's cared about where I went to law school & used it as a basis for my worth as a person like attorneys will do to others.

Hearing about these examples, you can see where my loyalties lie & why they lie where they do. I'm all about my creative/entertainment people, at least the ones who aren't jerks to me or completely unprofessional. Seems that's a much smaller number than the amount of attorneys who have disrespected me.

My involving legal stuff in anything is usually out of the desire to help my entertainment people, not legal organizations (individual attorneys are a different story since I never refer people I despise). While I think the President of NYCLA is awesome & would say the same about some people within that association, I don't really want to join the LinkedIn groups or follow them on Facebook or anything. To me, that sort of thing feels like a public validation of "you're cool." I just can't do that, especially with this disregard to my friend & to me. I can't do it for City Bar either.

I think the concept of an indie film legal clinic is a good one but that clinic should be headed by attorneys with actual entertainment industry experience who know that personality (including motivation) & experience trumps law school BS that only means something to clueless morons who deserve the incompetence they get from hiring based on such standards (I'm talking to you, BigLaw). Academics & BigLaw refugees who don't have entertainment experience should stay out of leadership roles unless they can drop the snottiness & elitism of those worlds + learn the indie culture. That's the only way such a clinic stands a chance of being effective & encouraging the desired clientele to show up.

Crap like this fuels me to surpass them professionally & personally. One day, these assholes will be clamoring to talk to me & I will have only two words to say. You can guess what they are.