One issue a NYC resident you'd actually want something to do with (no offense to those of you 1-25%ers who aren't assholes) consistently encounters is people using the subway as their personal platform. Some are selling candy, some are devout worshipers of their relevant faith, some are singing/acting/dancing & others are simply begging for money. I may have shared a few stories on these but in case I haven't, here are some of my most memorable ones:
* The guy on the horse. I was having a bad day at the time & he was on this horse costume. Not sure if he was on some person's back that was covered by this horse but he was so hilarious I was considering giving him some money. This is the only actual performer I've seen who made me laugh.
* The acting troupe doing Shakespeare. They were actually pretty good & as you know, I work in the business. Good enough for me to bring in for meetings, though? No one really fits my standards for such things since there's enough competition & I don't want a flood of people harassing me for revealing my identity in public.
* The off key singer annoying the hell out of us with his R&B performance. Another passenger starting mimicking this guy singing "I suck" & other such things. I felt like I was on Subway Idol & was thanking God this guy didn't know I worked in the industry. However, you'd have wanted to say "I work in this industry & you STINK! Don't give up your day job." I could also add being a semi-pro singer & knowing professional singers to that.
* The failed beggar. Occasionally, you'll find people coming into the car, telling you this poor pitiful tale of woe so others will give them money. Sometimes these people have kids on them (women only, I've noticed) but most of the time, it's men. I've seen quite a few of these but the most memorable was when I was on the train with a group of young black women who had apparently just gotten off work as well as a group of young black men sitting not far from them. They had to be late teens or early 20s.
As this older white guy come onto our car to share his sob story, one of these black youth says to his friend loudly "That guy is scamming people." He didn't directly confront the beggar but he totally shut that guy down. I thought "Intelligent Black Youth: 1, Scam Artist Beggar: 0." Not sure if those women being around had anything to do with it but that moment rocked. I'd love to see more of it.
If we didn't cover it, here's my basic policies on these categories:
1. Candy sellers: I have no problem with them. I think the MTA ought to hire them for this at a fair wage. I view it as a public service but only wish the sellers who get on my main train would have more selection. It's usually Welch's fruit snacks or peanut M&Ms. If you get some regular M&Ms or Twix bars like the one guy I bought from the one time at Union Square, I might be interested when I'm hungry & have a spare buck on me (yeah, they charge $1 for candy bars & 2 for $1 for the fruit snacks).
If you want to sell World's Finest, even better! Just make sure you have some nut free chocolate if you do. Heck, I think you'd make a killing selling World's Finest on the subway since I know I'm not the only person who loves their chocolate. The Boondocks even did an episode about this; go see it if you haven't.
2. Performers: Be fucking good at whatever you do, all right? It seems the good performers are never on my train. The most famous thing happening on ours was apparently some random woman taking her clothes off while some photographer with her quickly shot her picture & moved on. By the way, not something I support since you should at least give someone some warning so they can take their kids out or cover their eyes if they want. What next, are you going to fuck right on the subway floor in front of us?
I'd also think the hygiene issues would concern you (they DO concern me when I'm just wearing shorter shorts or a short skirt). While a live sex show might be interesting, I'm pretty sure it's illegal even if you film it. Not to mention invoking the wrath of angry parents & the God bothering graffiti artist I hope the cops have shut down (they have been more present in our area lately; I hope they're also cracking down on the assholes who don't clean their dogs' poop off the sidewalk, leaving it for unsuspecting pedestrians to step in).
Aside from all this, treat your performance as though you were on a stage in front of paying customers & as though casting directors were in the audience. Have some showmanship. Have some stage presence, charisma, charm, things that don't make people pissed off at you. Treat it seriously. If you suck, we DON'T want to hear or see it. This also isn't the time to put strangers on the spot & try putting them into your act. Unless the person's a plant, don't do it. We DON'T appreciate it & it WILL bother us.
Know your skills & be honest about them. This sort of thing isn't going to get you discovered. There, I said it. Pop music lore aside, I'm pretty sure those people were networking & hustling as well. They didn't just bug commuters on subway trains; they made sure they met the right people & took their work seriously.
3. Using babies/kids to elicit sympathy: This really pisses me off. I mean, super raging pisses me off. First off, I have a Psych degree so I know what you're up to with this (if someone knows you're using a psychological tactic, the tactic doesn't work on him/her). Second, I have a sister with a young child who's expecting her 3rd right now. She doesn't have a ton of money & her family is in financial struggle from time to time. Still, I can't imagine her standing on the side of the road panhandling while showing off her pregnant belly. I also know she'd not have begged for things with her kids with her. My own parents also had & still have financial struggle but you won't see them going to beg on street corners (in fact, my mom has commented on seeing beggars wearing nicer shoes than my father's & how that made her mad). So you get zero sympathy from me. Third, I'm childfree. You want to elicit my sympathy? Get a cat or dog. Then again, I'll accuse you of being a neglectful asshole & want the Humane Society to get that animal far away from you.
This sort of thing also really bothers me because I feel like it says you have zero pride & zero scruples to use someone that way. You aren't James Belushi in Curly Sue. You might have a heart of gold but we're never going to see it if you're just trying to take the easy way out & especially if you're going around with an iPhone. Plus, I hear James Belushi is a total scumbag in real life (my husband shared a tale with me about this that you can read in a previous entry).
I feel the same way about this as I do about parents using their kids to help steal from stores.
4. Telling a sob story: Okay, come up with something original. At least be funny & charming. THIS will motivate someone to care. Above all, don't have an iPhone or anything that looks "nice" (especially if it's nicer than what the average commuter on the line where you're doing this has). If you are doing that, you're going to make people angry & prove that you're just another scamming jerk. At least the "tell me off" guy was interesting. Learn, do something interesting. Hell, be honest. If you tell us you're going to use the money for booze & drugs, people may just give b/c they're impressed with your honesty.
Personally, I'm not inclined to support this sort of thing. For one thing, I've got negative net worth. If you don't have that, you're not worse off than I or millions of other people who have oppressive student loan debt that will follow us to the grave. I have even said that to folk when personally accosted on the street (which is against the law, by the way & I did tell someone that one evening; he pretended not to hear me, then backed off). Second, no one likes being personally accosted by strangers. Ever. Okay? Young women certainly don't since it conjures up all sorts of "stranger danger" issues. Psychological studies have shown that people are more inclined to help those that are more like them & if you aren't like them, they're not going to bother. They also don't help if they're rushed, in a bad mood or there's a lot of people around the situation.
For those thinking I'm a heartless bitch, well perhaps but I'm not a sucker. I don't mind giving food. If I have some, I don't mind sharing that. If it's my own cooking, I'll want feedback. Asking for food is okay: it makes me feel you really ARE in dire straits & aren't a lying scammer.
Doing it with kids though, doesn't make me feel anything. I'll just think you're teaching some horrible values & about my sister who isn't doing that kind of thing. I have more respect for women who become strippers or prostitutes to feed their kids as I don't know of any using their kids to get clients or bringing that work home to their kids by letting them watch or participate in some fashion. If they're doing drugs or drinking around them, then you're talking about the parent exposing the kids to drugs or alcohol, which can happen without the mother taking on those kinds of jobs. Totally separate issue.
Plus, there's other options besides pissing off commuters & issuing fake apologies for disturbing them. If you really were sorry for the inconvenience, you wouldn't be offering your spiel in the first place. How many signs do you see for organizations that help homeless people & outreach groups? At least try that first & LET them help you.
Lastly, DON'T STINK!!! Try washing off in a public bathroom, take care of the smelly areas. If we can smell you, we don't want to be near it. Also not a good idea to be stinky if you want to sell candy. That's not accomplishing that aim. I was once in a car with one of those accordion player groups & one of them had a baby that stank to high heaven. No joke. When that kid was away from me, it was fine but when that kid was sitting with his mom (seated right next to me) I had to turn my head away & STILL could smell the stank.
I ended up having to switch cars b/c the smell was that bad. Now I may not have kids but I have been around little kids before, both on the subway & in my personal life. I have never encountered a child that smelled & reeked like this one, even when one of my nephews or some other little kid needed a diaper change. More reasons for me to be mad at you & want you out of my presence quickly. Most of the typical NYC subway smells weren't even as bad as this so that's got to tell you something. Damn it, if you plan to use children as pawns CLEAN THEM!!!!!!!! That is all.
Showing posts with label James Belushi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label James Belushi. Show all posts
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
People Who Should Be Punched In the Face
Ideally, I'd love some people to be punched so hard even plastic surgery won't get them back to their former glory. For one thing, I suspect some retaliation going on with Verizon because of me complaining about shoddy service. Magically, on a sunny day, my landline goes out & Internet gets buggy.
I speak to my contact in the Executive Customer Service Center about this & how I suspect it's retaliation (especially considering a Verizon truck was spotted working on equipment in our area, then vanishes & problems result). Gee, what would YOU conclude with all this & my prior experiences? I also called up my local city councilperson's office quite angry yesterday.
Based on the attitude I got in my Senate person's office, I'll be making certain not to vote for Michael Gianaris when he's up for re-election. My e-mail inquiring on his stance toward indie film companies didn't go through (since in his newsletter sent to my home some time back, there's this big story about how he's helping the entertainment industry in NYC) so I have to wonder if he, like Bloomberg, thinks only rich companies & people have rights. I wouldn't be shocked if the answer was "yes." I think most politicians are drastically overpaid & there's certainly enough evidence of it that I don't have to link salary listings for you. A lot of them have also forgotten just who they work for. The Occupy protests are shining examples of this.
But, onto those specific people I think should be punched (alongside corporate assholes, rude folk & people claiming the protestors should stop protesting & "get jobs" while suppressing the right to protest). More interesting & appalling Craig's List ads ahead.
Video editing and production intern (Chelsea)
Date: 2011-08-15, 8:07PM EDT
Reply to: job-37ued-2548830833@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Video production company seeking a talented intern with an interest in editing, production and marketing for video. Approx. 2-3 days/wk. Please apply if you are able to commit at least 15 hours/wk (up to 25/wk). Internship will be split between editing, production, marketing and clerical.
Ideal candidate will have above average written and verbal communication skills and be comfortable with speaking to clients and vendors on the phone and in person.
- Should be reliable, punctual and organized
- Candidates should have their own MAC laptops
- Candidates with experience in editing and who are working toward becoming editors are preferred. Please note your skill level in Final Cut Pro, After Effects and Photoshop.
Duties would include organizing office, scheduling editing sessions and crews, assisting on video shoots, making phone calls, media logging and transferring, preparing footage for editing, editing small video projects, assisting on large editing projects and crafting emails.
Please reply to this posting with a resume, brief cover letter describing your goals and experience and provide any video samples. Include your contact info in email body. Again, please only apply if you are able to commit at least 15 hours/wk (up to 25/wk). We will be contacting people ASAP.
My problems with this ad are A) attempts to exploit experienced people by making them work as interns (my company, for the record, has never done this & has more respect for people than that), B) zero reimbursement for using personal equipment or travel (which is scuzzy if you ask me) & C) asking for 25 hours a week. The average day job is 40 hours a week & these days, most ask for more. Plus, for 3 days at 25 hours: that's a shift at a full time job (8 hours).
This strikes me as illegal under federal & state labor law. Seeing such ads tells me "I don't have a lawyer either in-house or outside my company. I'm a moron & will not go anywhere."
But it does get worse.
Film Finance Company Seeks Full Time Intern (Flatiron)
Date: 2011-08-15, 6:33PM EDT
Reply to: job-sz5q4-2548670456@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
A New York City-based film finance company is looking for a full time office intern with exceptional communication and organizational skills. The individual should be interested in film finance but also have experience working in an office or as a personal assistant. Tasks will include a full range of administrative duties as well as script coverage and creative work. The internship will start unpaid with the potential for compensation in time and all the perks of working for a film company. Position requires 4-5 days work a week, starts immediately in New York City.
Interested candidates should reply to this ad with a resume and cover letter listing all relevant experience.
Compensation: unpaid with potential for future pay
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 2548670456
Totally ILLEGAL to have a "full time intern." And why the hell would anyone work full time for no pay? Even a millionaire would want some type of return on their free labor & certainly would want that. This is sick & insulting.
Furthering the insulting & illegal internships category is this gem.
Ent. Writers Needed Established NYC Entertainment Group! (Chelsea)
Date: 2011-08-16, 2:40AM EDT
Reply to: job-rwhqf-2549244904@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Are you interested in pursuing a career in entertainment, specifically in the field of writing? Is your writing ability one to brag about? Does your style and passion separate you from the rest?
Come intern with us!
We are a rapidly expanding entertainment group with offices in Chelsea that has worked with well-known clients and brands like Mos Def, SummerStage, John Legend, Ciara, Rihanna, MTV, BET, Heineken, Bacardi, Miramax, and America's Next Top Model.
This fall we will be working on a slew of exciting projects which include producing a feature-length film, producing a citywide music festival, launching a network of entertainment-based blogs, and overseeing the music careers of several popular music artists, producers, and songwriters.
WRITING INTERNS must have eloquent writing skills, and an extended background in some sort of journal, poetry, essay and/or creative writing. Each intern must also have wealth of interest and knowledge in the music, film, and/or fashion worlds.
Furthermore, ALL INTERNS must be creative, willing to think outside of the box, reliable, motivated, problem solvers, out-going, and detail oriented with the ability to be a team player or a self-starter. Computer, oral and written communication, and people skills are a must.
This is a very BIG opportunity for all who apply so please, ONLY SERIOUS INQURIES!
Do you have what it takes to join our team?
If so, please send a brief email explaining why we should bring you on board!
Email us all of the following:
● Full Name
● Email Address
● Phone Number
● A brief introduction to who you are, what you are currently involved with, like school or personal projects, and what you think you can bring to our company
● Links to your Facebook account and any website(s) that you have.
If you are interested email us back immediately.
If we feel that you have what it takes, we will be in touch to schedule an interview.
The internship is a 4-month long internship with lots of room for growth.
We look forward to hearing from you!
Wow, go fuck yourself. First off, when someone's got experience at something they aren't a damn intern!!! They are a professional & should be compensated according to market rates.
Second, if your company has worked with big name clients (and this goes for all you name droppers) then chances are you've got the means to pay a professional what (s)he is worth. If you do not, you need to carefully evaluate what kind of opportunity working with you is going to give someone & how much you can realistically ask of someone working for free.
I'd wager a lot of money that most of these people promising paid employment at some future date aren't proving written internship agreements or putting that little promise in writing. If you take an internship with someone who makes this empty promise & doesn't back it up in writing, you've now been warned.
Rule of life, I suppose: if a person promises something but won't memorialize it in writing, it means they are full of crap & going to scam you sooner or later.
Finally, you expect unpaid interns to provide links to social media websites? I can understand asking to see a writing portfolio but what I look like has zero to do with writing. Asking for this stuff is nothing but a big judge fest, in my book.
This is an employer's attempt to find something they don't like about someone so they can reject them. Whether it's a legally protected category like race, age, religion, etc. or something like who you voted for in the last election or how you feel about a controversial topic like abortion, gun rights, the Occupy protests, the death penalty or even if you think Casey Anthony got away with murder, I as an employer would not want to see someone's Facebook pages. It's one thing for an employer to Google you & find things that way (which I also take issue with but you can read further back for my stance on that issue) but if you're making your Facebook page private, not friending everyone in sight & taking precautions so an employer couldn't find it on his/her own in a Google search, you've got every right to say "Hell no! I'm not giving you that as a condition to interviewing me."
I would NEVER in a trillion years give someone access to MY Facebook page if they were considering me for a job or an employer. Nor would I friend any co-worker from a job where I could get fired for being myself. Unless you make express, written agreement to let me be me on my own pages, you don't get to be my Facebook friend. End of story, case closed.
Employers need to stop acting like their staff's mommies & daddies. It's a big reason I'm not in favor of working for corporations or large businesses.
And, last I checked, NONE of you corporate executives or heads of big businesses were saints!!! Don't pretend that you are; even the Bible says "Judge not lest ye be judged also." I certainly never claimed I was & wouldn't expect employees to be moral paragons either.
Now, another dick expecting free professional writing services:
Writer intern for Universal Records (Midtown East)
Date: 2011-11-08, 7:20AM EST
Reply to: gigs-jm5qn-2691243569@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
I run an indie label with distribution though Universal Music Group. We are currently looking for writers with expertise in writing business letters, proposals and press releases. This job could lead to a future paid position. Please note: you must own a lap top and live in NYC. If interested please forward your resume and contact info.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay
PostingID: 2691243569
I responded to this one earlier but apparently the ad is no longer active, which I think is awesome.
Do you know that it's illegal to require interns to have ANY previous experience? You ad says you're "currently looking for writers with expertise in writing business letters, proposals and press releases." It's also insulting to call a professional writer an "intern." Tell me, how does that benefit a professional in ANY way, shape or form? It doesn't! It's a step backwards!
And I see no mention of reimbursing anyone for the use of their PERSONAL laptop for YOUR company's work. Nor do I see a travel requirement but I have a feeling if there is one, you'd presume some professional writer who gets paid to write is going to fall all over himself/herself to PAY to do YOUR work via transit costs. Metrocards aren't cheap! $4.50 round trip adds up & some of us don't make enough in a month to justify a $104 monthly pass EVERY SINGLE MONTH.
I'm also willing to bet a million dollars you expect this professional writing "intern" to put YOUR work ahead of any paid assignments or day jobs outside the field, thinking people's landlords, utility companies & the like will be fine accepting exposure and a smile instead of money for a place to live, food, power, etc.
Why don't you just call this what it is: an attempt to exploit a professional writer for your personal gain. Do YOU like to work for free? What if I offered YOU a job where you wouldn't get paid, called you MY intern, used YOUR expertise for free & then made you pay to travel to my office as well as use your personal resources for MY sole gain? I'd expect you'd tell me to fuck off.
How about opening your wallet & PAYING a professional for their quality + expertise instead of expecting a stranger to jump at the chance of being your "intern?" Or go ask a friend to do your freebies. As a professional writer who gets PAID for her services + an attorney/business owner, you need to get some empathy & some rational thinking skills. Otherwise, people will regularly tell you to fuck off & rightly so.
Craig's List isn't a networking group or your personal slave directory.
Don't forget that either. It ISN'T. Man, I want some people to be arrested in a criminal court for this sort of thing!
I've been getting paid to write, thank you. I don't perform free writing unless it's for my own projects like this blog or work with my own company or for my own performances where I have full creative control. Get the picture?
Not my problem that you can't write or aren't an attorney. Nor is it your problem that I have no mechanical skills or ability to fix a computer, lift heavy objects, etc.
This guy, oh he should be killed. That's all:
Personal Female Assistant
Date: 2011-11-01, 8:42PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-mycuu-2680593923@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Business man seeks attractive female assistant for lunch time and/or after hours stress relieving rendezvous. Hand job required. Send photos and state what you are willing to do for a prompt reply. Pays up to $1000 per week.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $1000 per week
PostingID: 2680593923
Hire a hooker, perv! I'd also love to see this guy's dick fall off. It would be poetic justice after all.
I was watching an episode of Disaster Date earlier & there was a date with an actor playing a chauvinist. Openly told the mark "Shut up! The men are talking here." Apparently, this date had escaped from Amish country but here's a little tip in dealing with me: if you EVER say something that to me or address me in a belittling fashion, expect me to kick you hard in the crotch, cut off your balls or otherwise do something very extreme that will render you unable to continue being a sexist douche. I would have punched him right in the face if I'd been that girl.
Famous people take note (especially James Belushi if you in fact actually did this): ask me to give you a blow job & I'll say you must really hate your dick b/c if I do that, I'll end up biting it off. That doesn't even go into what my husband will do to you & he'd probably kill you for doing less; like me, he doesn't care how famous you are or how much money you have. You may even cause trouble from a friend my husband hates who would love to be his replacement!
Plus, I was once offered $1,000 by a guy I went on my first date with to have sex with him (this was years later and he wasn't even close to rich); if I was ever selling sexual services, you'd have to start from there. Natural redheads are also the rarest people on the planet & have sexual myths + scientific studies making us more marketable on that end so you can't expect freebies. You want me to give you a blow job? At least offer a fair figure so I'll have a fun story to tell people later on.
Think very, very carefully about what you want the outcome to be in dealing with The Angry Redheaded Lawyer.
Better yet, do the same thing for all natural redheads & all female attorneys. It will make your life much easier & you won't end up like John Wayne Bobbit or a eunuch if they can't reattach your lost genitalia.
Yes, I bring lawyer analysis into situations like this. What's your point? I'm not going to do it but any business minded prostitute would consider those factors if she could use them to get a better rate.
More delusions:
intern (nyc)
Date: 2011-10-04, 12:38PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-qrby4-2632052483@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Magazine CEO needs an intern (personal assistant) for up coming fashion show. Please send picture, resume, links, website and why you want to be a personal assistant.
This is an unpaid turned paid position. Best suited for college or post college student hungry and willing to work. There will be pay in the future.
Must be sociable, good with social media, public relation skills, able to go to industry events, office work, organization skills and creative.
Location: nyc
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay
PostingID: 2632052483
More insults, illegality & asking for pictures. More obvious issues in lack of reimbursement, employment discrimination & the like. Can't we just shut these jerks down?
Finally, there's this ad that looks legit but not so fast...
Fall Interns Needed for BreakThru Radio (Chelsea)
Date: 2011-08-16, 9:29AM EDT
Reply to: job-nu4sx-2549427920@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
BreakThru Radio is looking for Fall Interns to join the BTR team. We are looking for individuals who have previous college radio skills and great writing skills in covering music and the culture for BreakThru Radio. You must have previous experience in the field. You will receive plenty of goodies in return for your awesome work and, yes, there are monetary incentives! Check us out at, www.breakthruradio.com.
If you love music, comedy, culture and radio and think that you would be an excellent team member, send us a cover letter and resume! Please list your 5 favorite music artists in your reply.
A little bit about BreakThru Radio: BreakThru Radio is "Radio Rediscovered" in a world where FM is out of frequency. In today's overly saturated music market, it is often difficult for listeners to find what they are looking for. BreakThru Radio has the solution. Listeners are given access to independent music from an expansive and diverse pool of genres, in addition to an innovative comedy platform. Offering the best in music from around the world, BreakThru Radio brings its listeners tracks recorded exclusively for the BTR audience from our live studio. BTR offers on-demand access to its shows and on-the-go iPod capability.
In today's overly saturated music market, it is often difficult for listeners to find what they are looking for. BreakThru radio has the solution. Listeners are given access to music from an expansive and diverse pool of genres in addition to an innovative comedy platform. Offering the best in music from around the world, BreakThru Radio brings its listeners tracks recorded exclusively for the BTR audience from our live studio. BTR offers, on-demand access to its shows, and on-the-go iPod capability. BreakThru Radio is "Radio Rediscovered" in a world where FM is out of frequency.
Compensation: TBD
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 2549427920
There's that pesky little illegality of demanding interns to have "prior experience" in the industry. Not cool & it's illegal.
Just come out & say you want volunteers or a barter arrangement. That is at least honest & not insulting people by calling them "interns."
Still have more things to rant about but wouldn't you agree that these people should be punched in the face? Not me but someone. If I went around punching people in the face, I'd never have time to do anything else.
I speak to my contact in the Executive Customer Service Center about this & how I suspect it's retaliation (especially considering a Verizon truck was spotted working on equipment in our area, then vanishes & problems result). Gee, what would YOU conclude with all this & my prior experiences? I also called up my local city councilperson's office quite angry yesterday.
Based on the attitude I got in my Senate person's office, I'll be making certain not to vote for Michael Gianaris when he's up for re-election. My e-mail inquiring on his stance toward indie film companies didn't go through (since in his newsletter sent to my home some time back, there's this big story about how he's helping the entertainment industry in NYC) so I have to wonder if he, like Bloomberg, thinks only rich companies & people have rights. I wouldn't be shocked if the answer was "yes." I think most politicians are drastically overpaid & there's certainly enough evidence of it that I don't have to link salary listings for you. A lot of them have also forgotten just who they work for. The Occupy protests are shining examples of this.
But, onto those specific people I think should be punched (alongside corporate assholes, rude folk & people claiming the protestors should stop protesting & "get jobs" while suppressing the right to protest). More interesting & appalling Craig's List ads ahead.
Video editing and production intern (Chelsea)
Date: 2011-08-15, 8:07PM EDT
Reply to: job-37ued-2548830833@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Video production company seeking a talented intern with an interest in editing, production and marketing for video. Approx. 2-3 days/wk. Please apply if you are able to commit at least 15 hours/wk (up to 25/wk). Internship will be split between editing, production, marketing and clerical.
Ideal candidate will have above average written and verbal communication skills and be comfortable with speaking to clients and vendors on the phone and in person.
- Should be reliable, punctual and organized
- Candidates should have their own MAC laptops
- Candidates with experience in editing and who are working toward becoming editors are preferred. Please note your skill level in Final Cut Pro, After Effects and Photoshop.
Duties would include organizing office, scheduling editing sessions and crews, assisting on video shoots, making phone calls, media logging and transferring, preparing footage for editing, editing small video projects, assisting on large editing projects and crafting emails.
Please reply to this posting with a resume, brief cover letter describing your goals and experience and provide any video samples. Include your contact info in email body. Again, please only apply if you are able to commit at least 15 hours/wk (up to 25/wk). We will be contacting people ASAP.
My problems with this ad are A) attempts to exploit experienced people by making them work as interns (my company, for the record, has never done this & has more respect for people than that), B) zero reimbursement for using personal equipment or travel (which is scuzzy if you ask me) & C) asking for 25 hours a week. The average day job is 40 hours a week & these days, most ask for more. Plus, for 3 days at 25 hours: that's a shift at a full time job (8 hours).
This strikes me as illegal under federal & state labor law. Seeing such ads tells me "I don't have a lawyer either in-house or outside my company. I'm a moron & will not go anywhere."
But it does get worse.
Film Finance Company Seeks Full Time Intern (Flatiron)
Date: 2011-08-15, 6:33PM EDT
Reply to: job-sz5q4-2548670456@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
A New York City-based film finance company is looking for a full time office intern with exceptional communication and organizational skills. The individual should be interested in film finance but also have experience working in an office or as a personal assistant. Tasks will include a full range of administrative duties as well as script coverage and creative work. The internship will start unpaid with the potential for compensation in time and all the perks of working for a film company. Position requires 4-5 days work a week, starts immediately in New York City.
Interested candidates should reply to this ad with a resume and cover letter listing all relevant experience.
Compensation: unpaid with potential for future pay
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 2548670456
Totally ILLEGAL to have a "full time intern." And why the hell would anyone work full time for no pay? Even a millionaire would want some type of return on their free labor & certainly would want that. This is sick & insulting.
Furthering the insulting & illegal internships category is this gem.
Ent. Writers Needed Established NYC Entertainment Group! (Chelsea)
Date: 2011-08-16, 2:40AM EDT
Reply to: job-rwhqf-2549244904@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Are you interested in pursuing a career in entertainment, specifically in the field of writing? Is your writing ability one to brag about? Does your style and passion separate you from the rest?
Come intern with us!
We are a rapidly expanding entertainment group with offices in Chelsea that has worked with well-known clients and brands like Mos Def, SummerStage, John Legend, Ciara, Rihanna, MTV, BET, Heineken, Bacardi, Miramax, and America's Next Top Model.
This fall we will be working on a slew of exciting projects which include producing a feature-length film, producing a citywide music festival, launching a network of entertainment-based blogs, and overseeing the music careers of several popular music artists, producers, and songwriters.
WRITING INTERNS must have eloquent writing skills, and an extended background in some sort of journal, poetry, essay and/or creative writing. Each intern must also have wealth of interest and knowledge in the music, film, and/or fashion worlds.
Furthermore, ALL INTERNS must be creative, willing to think outside of the box, reliable, motivated, problem solvers, out-going, and detail oriented with the ability to be a team player or a self-starter. Computer, oral and written communication, and people skills are a must.
This is a very BIG opportunity for all who apply so please, ONLY SERIOUS INQURIES!
Do you have what it takes to join our team?
If so, please send a brief email explaining why we should bring you on board!
Email us all of the following:
● Full Name
● Email Address
● Phone Number
● A brief introduction to who you are, what you are currently involved with, like school or personal projects, and what you think you can bring to our company
● Links to your Facebook account and any website(s) that you have.
If you are interested email us back immediately.
If we feel that you have what it takes, we will be in touch to schedule an interview.
The internship is a 4-month long internship with lots of room for growth.
We look forward to hearing from you!
Wow, go fuck yourself. First off, when someone's got experience at something they aren't a damn intern!!! They are a professional & should be compensated according to market rates.
Second, if your company has worked with big name clients (and this goes for all you name droppers) then chances are you've got the means to pay a professional what (s)he is worth. If you do not, you need to carefully evaluate what kind of opportunity working with you is going to give someone & how much you can realistically ask of someone working for free.
I'd wager a lot of money that most of these people promising paid employment at some future date aren't proving written internship agreements or putting that little promise in writing. If you take an internship with someone who makes this empty promise & doesn't back it up in writing, you've now been warned.
Rule of life, I suppose: if a person promises something but won't memorialize it in writing, it means they are full of crap & going to scam you sooner or later.
Finally, you expect unpaid interns to provide links to social media websites? I can understand asking to see a writing portfolio but what I look like has zero to do with writing. Asking for this stuff is nothing but a big judge fest, in my book.
This is an employer's attempt to find something they don't like about someone so they can reject them. Whether it's a legally protected category like race, age, religion, etc. or something like who you voted for in the last election or how you feel about a controversial topic like abortion, gun rights, the Occupy protests, the death penalty or even if you think Casey Anthony got away with murder, I as an employer would not want to see someone's Facebook pages. It's one thing for an employer to Google you & find things that way (which I also take issue with but you can read further back for my stance on that issue) but if you're making your Facebook page private, not friending everyone in sight & taking precautions so an employer couldn't find it on his/her own in a Google search, you've got every right to say "Hell no! I'm not giving you that as a condition to interviewing me."
I would NEVER in a trillion years give someone access to MY Facebook page if they were considering me for a job or an employer. Nor would I friend any co-worker from a job where I could get fired for being myself. Unless you make express, written agreement to let me be me on my own pages, you don't get to be my Facebook friend. End of story, case closed.
Employers need to stop acting like their staff's mommies & daddies. It's a big reason I'm not in favor of working for corporations or large businesses.
And, last I checked, NONE of you corporate executives or heads of big businesses were saints!!! Don't pretend that you are; even the Bible says "Judge not lest ye be judged also." I certainly never claimed I was & wouldn't expect employees to be moral paragons either.
Now, another dick expecting free professional writing services:
Writer intern for Universal Records (Midtown East)
Date: 2011-11-08, 7:20AM EST
Reply to: gigs-jm5qn-2691243569@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
I run an indie label with distribution though Universal Music Group. We are currently looking for writers with expertise in writing business letters, proposals and press releases. This job could lead to a future paid position. Please note: you must own a lap top and live in NYC. If interested please forward your resume and contact info.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay
PostingID: 2691243569
I responded to this one earlier but apparently the ad is no longer active, which I think is awesome.
Do you know that it's illegal to require interns to have ANY previous experience? You ad says you're "currently looking for writers with expertise in writing business letters, proposals and press releases." It's also insulting to call a professional writer an "intern." Tell me, how does that benefit a professional in ANY way, shape or form? It doesn't! It's a step backwards!
And I see no mention of reimbursing anyone for the use of their PERSONAL laptop for YOUR company's work. Nor do I see a travel requirement but I have a feeling if there is one, you'd presume some professional writer who gets paid to write is going to fall all over himself/herself to PAY to do YOUR work via transit costs. Metrocards aren't cheap! $4.50 round trip adds up & some of us don't make enough in a month to justify a $104 monthly pass EVERY SINGLE MONTH.
I'm also willing to bet a million dollars you expect this professional writing "intern" to put YOUR work ahead of any paid assignments or day jobs outside the field, thinking people's landlords, utility companies & the like will be fine accepting exposure and a smile instead of money for a place to live, food, power, etc.
Why don't you just call this what it is: an attempt to exploit a professional writer for your personal gain. Do YOU like to work for free? What if I offered YOU a job where you wouldn't get paid, called you MY intern, used YOUR expertise for free & then made you pay to travel to my office as well as use your personal resources for MY sole gain? I'd expect you'd tell me to fuck off.
How about opening your wallet & PAYING a professional for their quality + expertise instead of expecting a stranger to jump at the chance of being your "intern?" Or go ask a friend to do your freebies. As a professional writer who gets PAID for her services + an attorney/business owner, you need to get some empathy & some rational thinking skills. Otherwise, people will regularly tell you to fuck off & rightly so.
Craig's List isn't a networking group or your personal slave directory.
Don't forget that either. It ISN'T. Man, I want some people to be arrested in a criminal court for this sort of thing!
I've been getting paid to write, thank you. I don't perform free writing unless it's for my own projects like this blog or work with my own company or for my own performances where I have full creative control. Get the picture?
Not my problem that you can't write or aren't an attorney. Nor is it your problem that I have no mechanical skills or ability to fix a computer, lift heavy objects, etc.
This guy, oh he should be killed. That's all:
Personal Female Assistant
Date: 2011-11-01, 8:42PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-mycuu-2680593923@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Business man seeks attractive female assistant for lunch time and/or after hours stress relieving rendezvous. Hand job required. Send photos and state what you are willing to do for a prompt reply. Pays up to $1000 per week.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $1000 per week
PostingID: 2680593923
Hire a hooker, perv! I'd also love to see this guy's dick fall off. It would be poetic justice after all.
I was watching an episode of Disaster Date earlier & there was a date with an actor playing a chauvinist. Openly told the mark "Shut up! The men are talking here." Apparently, this date had escaped from Amish country but here's a little tip in dealing with me: if you EVER say something that to me or address me in a belittling fashion, expect me to kick you hard in the crotch, cut off your balls or otherwise do something very extreme that will render you unable to continue being a sexist douche. I would have punched him right in the face if I'd been that girl.
Famous people take note (especially James Belushi if you in fact actually did this): ask me to give you a blow job & I'll say you must really hate your dick b/c if I do that, I'll end up biting it off. That doesn't even go into what my husband will do to you & he'd probably kill you for doing less; like me, he doesn't care how famous you are or how much money you have. You may even cause trouble from a friend my husband hates who would love to be his replacement!
Plus, I was once offered $1,000 by a guy I went on my first date with to have sex with him (this was years later and he wasn't even close to rich); if I was ever selling sexual services, you'd have to start from there. Natural redheads are also the rarest people on the planet & have sexual myths + scientific studies making us more marketable on that end so you can't expect freebies. You want me to give you a blow job? At least offer a fair figure so I'll have a fun story to tell people later on.
Think very, very carefully about what you want the outcome to be in dealing with The Angry Redheaded Lawyer.
Better yet, do the same thing for all natural redheads & all female attorneys. It will make your life much easier & you won't end up like John Wayne Bobbit or a eunuch if they can't reattach your lost genitalia.
Yes, I bring lawyer analysis into situations like this. What's your point? I'm not going to do it but any business minded prostitute would consider those factors if she could use them to get a better rate.
More delusions:
intern (nyc)
Date: 2011-10-04, 12:38PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-qrby4-2632052483@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Magazine CEO needs an intern (personal assistant) for up coming fashion show. Please send picture, resume, links, website and why you want to be a personal assistant.
This is an unpaid turned paid position. Best suited for college or post college student hungry and willing to work. There will be pay in the future.
Must be sociable, good with social media, public relation skills, able to go to industry events, office work, organization skills and creative.
Location: nyc
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay
PostingID: 2632052483
More insults, illegality & asking for pictures. More obvious issues in lack of reimbursement, employment discrimination & the like. Can't we just shut these jerks down?
Finally, there's this ad that looks legit but not so fast...
Fall Interns Needed for BreakThru Radio (Chelsea)
Date: 2011-08-16, 9:29AM EDT
Reply to: job-nu4sx-2549427920@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
BreakThru Radio is looking for Fall Interns to join the BTR team. We are looking for individuals who have previous college radio skills and great writing skills in covering music and the culture for BreakThru Radio. You must have previous experience in the field. You will receive plenty of goodies in return for your awesome work and, yes, there are monetary incentives! Check us out at, www.breakthruradio.com.
If you love music, comedy, culture and radio and think that you would be an excellent team member, send us a cover letter and resume! Please list your 5 favorite music artists in your reply.
A little bit about BreakThru Radio: BreakThru Radio is "Radio Rediscovered" in a world where FM is out of frequency. In today's overly saturated music market, it is often difficult for listeners to find what they are looking for. BreakThru Radio has the solution. Listeners are given access to independent music from an expansive and diverse pool of genres, in addition to an innovative comedy platform. Offering the best in music from around the world, BreakThru Radio brings its listeners tracks recorded exclusively for the BTR audience from our live studio. BTR offers on-demand access to its shows and on-the-go iPod capability.
In today's overly saturated music market, it is often difficult for listeners to find what they are looking for. BreakThru radio has the solution. Listeners are given access to music from an expansive and diverse pool of genres in addition to an innovative comedy platform. Offering the best in music from around the world, BreakThru Radio brings its listeners tracks recorded exclusively for the BTR audience from our live studio. BTR offers, on-demand access to its shows, and on-the-go iPod capability. BreakThru Radio is "Radio Rediscovered" in a world where FM is out of frequency.
Compensation: TBD
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 2549427920
There's that pesky little illegality of demanding interns to have "prior experience" in the industry. Not cool & it's illegal.
Just come out & say you want volunteers or a barter arrangement. That is at least honest & not insulting people by calling them "interns."
Still have more things to rant about but wouldn't you agree that these people should be punched in the face? Not me but someone. If I went around punching people in the face, I'd never have time to do anything else.
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