Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Some Hard, Cold Reality

My own personal crisis is a story that continues to be written. I got into lawyer mode on that one pretty quickly and after some panicking, realized that overall I'll be all right regardless. Still deciding on some measures & plans of attack but let's just say my enforcer cred should remain in tact.

Another development that could make this situation crazy: the same day that crisis started, I get a phone call from a producer at "The People's Court" asking me about taking my small claims matter to their show. Now I ended up cancelling it since the person I was suing gave me checks that were good & at that time, hadn't bounced after being in my account for a good 2 weeks. Before, the check bouncing happened after about 3 days or so.

Not so sure I'd want to be on TV for such a thing. After all, I'm not a fan of "reality TV." Wouldn't I be a mega hypocrite to do such a thing?

Since you don't give much detail in small claims court filings (these are not full fledged pleadings with any allegation you want to put in, no matter how absurd or extreme), I can only figure I was contacted b/c someone did their research on me. The entity I sued isn't super well known or high profile. Not only am I a lawyer but I do have an unusual career & a pretty face (and this isn't me being boastful but relaying facts others have told me a billion times).

If this isn't a sign that my personal privacy could end up being no more in the future, I'm not sure what is. I have to wonder if press attention can't be far behind if I did end up getting sued and had to form my defense/response.

Nonetheless, I hold true to a fact that only smart people know: no one cares about your own interests more than you. Which brings me to another really good point. Pay attention, folks!

In NYC, there is a continuing rally on Wall Street to end the systemic corporate greed in the US that favors rich people. Here is a general article on the matter.

While I'm not at the point to go out protesting myself & there are elements that I don't agree with (such as allowing incompetents to continue working in jobs they aren't suited for out of mere sympathy), in principle I support this type of protest. At least these people are getting off their asses & doing something, which is more than you can say for the majority of apathetic, whiny crybabies who'd rather sit on the couch with their big fat butts watching yet another insipid installment of the latest stupid reality show. These are the same people who tell you to never argue or stand for anything & just let the Man continue to anally rape you, so to speak. Speaking metaphorically of course though I'm sure some of this group would gladly bend over, spread their butt cheeks & scream out "Thank you sir! May I have another?" There are many weakened, cowed people out in the world & one should never underestimate that number. The legal profession alone is swarming with them.

Recently, I heard about the police brutality. Not content with allowing folks to protest & be heard, the NYPD apparently decided to beat up people who were already handcuffed, pepper sprayed women, etc. I wasn't there so I don't have eyewitness experience but I did see the photographs. So should you. Draw your own conclusions.

After hearing about this, a few thoughts crossed my mind:

1. I really hope some attorneys were present. Ideally, some who are civil rights/1st Amendment lawyers but even the ones from the group that goes to protests incognito would be good. I forgot the name of the group but there is a public interest group of attorneys that goes to protests specifically so police officers stay in line. They are future witnesses & will help people who are brutalized for exercising their constitutional rights.

2. NYPD officers aren't very smart if they're being the henchmen for Wall St. executive types. For one thing, Bloomberg was ready to lay them off last year before the whole "averted terrorist attack" at the theater district by the fellow who lived in CT. Second, I promise you that no Wall St. CEO or political figure will appreciate them or do a damn thing to help them in any layoff threats or concerns for their families. Maybe the higher ups but the rank & file guys actually out there maintaining order?? You're hopelessly naive if you think you're going to get real benefit from it other than maybe some sadistic pleasure of harming someone smaller than you. Bloomberg didn't even invite the first responders at the 9/11 scene to the 9/11 memorial event this year & that was a significant controversy.

I'd like these officers to consider if they'd want someone doing such things to THEIR kids or their spouses. There are methods of maintaining order but at the same time, I'm in favor of free speech. It's not my task to determine proper crowd control & again, I wasn't there so I can't say that wrongdoing indeed happened. But...when you hear no names of people doing this or about any suspensions, you do have to wonder if there's some wrongdoing taking place.

And personally, I think any of the responsible CEOs reap what they sow (they know who they are & who they aren't) + if it were me, I'd never bother protecting them. This is one of many reasons why I would not be a good police officer. I also have way too much righteous indignation & a fiery temper; I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Why can't these people be more like that sheriff who refused to evict people from their homes in the economic crisis in order to satisfy greedy banks? That sheriff should be held up as an example of a GOOD law enforcement officer; someone in favor of enforcing the laws that matter vs. being some corporation's Rent a Police Force.

This is essentially what any officer who engages in police brutality against this type of protest is in my book: a Rent a Cop for whatever corporation they are protecting. Got any clue how security people are treated? From the experience of people I know who've done it, not very well. The pay is definitely lacking, that's for sure. Not to mention the arrogance & shitty behavior from the little Hitlers who abuse their authority & make the sane people look bad!

So, with that brutalization, why in the Hell would you do a damn thing for the raping & pillaging mega-corp that's never going to do anything to help you? Remember, you have to help yourself in life & look after your own interests.

3. As I've said a million times, you leave people with NO means of doing anything good in life you create criminals. As that pool increases, there will be better criminals, smarter criminals.

4. There are also many more poor people than rich people. Everyone deserves to be treated with some basic humanity & let me tell you something else, would be police officer who thinks beating up protesters is okay: you're not part of the elite class & you will not be invited to the table no matter how many people you beat up.

4. Did anybody see Bowling for Columbine? Does anyone remember the message of that film? Oh, and did you know police brutality perpetrators that if you go beating up on the middle class white girls, the press will attack you like a pit bull going after a piece of meat? Especially if the white girl is pretty, related to or has friends in high places. Next thing you know, you'll be beating up some politician's kid & getting suspended, fired, whatever! Psych studies confirmed this.

So if you're going to beat someone or douse them in pepper spray, you may want to be careful & think before you act.

Then again, if you manage to scare some hipsters out of Brooklyn & other gentrified areas with brutality, maybe some of the less feeling hipster haters will overlook it. Especially if you're not otherwise bothering them.

I, however, have a real problem with the idea of the police behaving like the private police force of the corporate elite. Just so you know, you will eventually be the protesters (layoffs anyone?) & if you want the public to support you or your cause, you might not want to be known as those assholes who beat up young people who are doing nothing more than venting toward insulated pricks who refuse to wake up to reality or behave like human beings. You have to wonder if some of these corporate muckety mucks have any souls at all. I'm speaking of highest level folk only, not the lower level crowd. I get a sense a fair amount of them know the score already & don't all behave like drones.

Personally, I think of such folks as just being a bunch of old white guys I can't relate to & who have no clue what living in my shoes is like. Smart people respect the experiences of those whose lives they haven't lived & could never understand but I suspect a good contingent of this crowd isn't very smart. Call me a cynic but I'll reserve my final judgment for personal encounters as I always do.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Extra Gig #5: Working Overnight & Coming Home at Daylight

Until this past Friday, I had not worked an extra gig in over 5 months. This is largely because I got a temporary part-time day job that was paying better for shorter shifts than most extra gigs (hourly, my rate was significantly higher & in keeping with what I'd expect to earn in the marketplace). Next week will come the entry on that experience.

Personal circumstances limited the timing of this one. Let's just say there is a drastic, serious need for bankruptcy reform in this country & the student loan lobby along with top executives at every single student loan outfit (especially concerning private loans) should die in a horrible, tragic manner. But that's for another day & when the story officially concludes. Stay tuned.

So I happened to get a call from Central Casting asking if I was available for a Friday overnight shoot where I would get to wear casual clothing. Being as A) I'd never been on a set overnight, B) I'd get to wear casual clothing instead of having to bring dressy stuff as I tend to do (I generally selected work that required evening gowns & dress clothes since I have a lot of it I never get to wear) & C) I select these gigs now for any new, enhanced experience I can get I said "Okay." Not to mention it feels more special to me if I'm invited to participate vs. putting myself out there for something. I just happened to be free at the time & how ironic I got this less than a week before my Entertainment Committee meeting (strengthening my argument that I can get paying extra work so there's no reason I should do it for free).

I also discovered it was for a feature film and while I've been on a film set before, I'd not done so as a Central Casting extra. Even more new experience to scratch off. Plus, this was with a company I'd not heard of with principals I hadn't heard of (thought that's not saying much sometimes) & in a part of Brooklyn I hadn't been to. That reminds me, I've got a Yelp review I need to write.

I get to the set and we're in a gym. Reminds me of going to high school in the late '90s; apparently the film was taking place in the early '90s so kind of helped the mood for me, I suppose. I also decided to watch "Clueless" on my DVD player while I was there (the only major electronic I brought with me since it was light & could be transported easily; nothing like lugging a laptop at 3 a.m., right?). This led to conversation with the person in charge of corralling the extras, Jason. Jason was also the Assistant Director.

I have to admire this guy because he took charge & command by sounding an awful lot like me. Seems you need someone who can be an enforcer & not give a damn about hurting anyone's feelings if you want a good AD since I saw similar on my first extra gig. It made me wonder if he'd considered pursuing a legal career, another job where not being worried about what anyone thinks of you helps tremendously. Honestly, though I don't think you'd make all that much as a lawyer today unless you knew someone who had their own multimillion dollar law firm & would hire you no matter what school you went to or how bad your grades were. This man was so professional, I had to pass along my business card. He also passed on some industry knowledge I'll be sharing with my partners if it ever comes up (personal experience with someone in the business: give me insight on that & you'll get praise from me in an instant). Jason had a lot on his plate with over 200 extras to organize.

I was portraying a concert goer & later in the night, I was glad the wardrobe people told me to wear the short sleeved shirt I'd brought under the man's shirt I was wearing (hubby gave me that one recently since he'd outgrown it & I wanted to keep it) instead of the tank top I arrived in since it got COLD when we had to go to the set. I also had my long sleeved drape shirt that I could hide easily but I was still a bit shivery at points. Honestly, it put me in a 90's mood since that was a look I had in high school.

One shocker: not a single person I know was at this set. That surprised me a little since I was getting used to people who knew me as an attorney/film executive seeing me. At least it made the undercover aspect & movie watching easier.

These days, my networking is more strategic & targeted. Unless someone's in a networking group I belong to, I'm not dealing with anyone who's not at the place I'm going to or on that same path. I just don't have time for it & I don't need more people to get all pissy & jealous of me or resent me for any success I have.

Food here was not as plentiful as I've seen on other sets. On some sets, it's ridiculous the amount you have access to. I could easily see someone who did extra work often gain weight as a result of eating so much & sitting. Since I was hungry, I ended up going to a nearby pizza place (we got to go outside to a food place, which also never happens on these shoots) & still need to review it on Yelp. More food was around later, including water which was much appreciated. Smaller production, smaller budget. I kicked myself for not bringing some food from home; after all, I'm more self-sufficient & don't tend to assume others will feed me. That comes from a culture of having to fend for yourself & knowing no one else is going to do anything for you.

We also definitely got that promised concert & got to make actual noise during filming. It was encouraged, which rarely (if ever) happens. I also got to sit near the front of the concert area. Another rarity: I could have brought people if I'd wanted to. My husband wasn't interested so it was just me.

On the redhead front, I saw a red-haired guy & a couple females who I don't think were natural redheads. Regardless, I'd still consider myself unique anyway; no luck finding that elusive twin to trade places with.

I also think I must give off some vibe of authority or aura of being more concerned w/the behind the scenes folk since people in charge have asked me questions or given me a benefit of the doubt you'd not give to the average extra. I've been treated like someone with competence & not just on one set either. Nor did I mention what I do in my real life. At least if I were in their shoes, I wouldn't necessarily do some of that stuff.

So, the lessons learned here:

1. Caffeine and/or sugar (for people like me who can't drink soda so much). If you're going to do an overnight shoot, make sure it's plentiful & available to everyone!!! The background was nodding off by the end at around 6 a.m. or so. We were sitting in rows and I saw people with their heads down.

I noticed these two guys who seemed to be close friends hanging out with each other. One of them had to get up per the AD's direction and it turns out the other guy was resting on him! I thought "You SUCK! The guy who'd let me sleep on him is at home in a comfy bed with our cat probably snuggled next to him." I also wondered if maybe they were a gay couple.

But caffeine & sugar, especially for anyone dealing with heavy equipment.

I can now see why cocaine was so prevalent in the industry back in the day (maybe it still is in some circles). However, cocaine is illegal so let's stick to caffeine & sugar, all right? No one needs to go to jail in a drug bust or lose time, money, etc. from that craziness.

2. If you're going to get hundreds of extras, make sure the person responsible for corralling them has a bullhorn or a megaphone so people can hear him/her. At the very least, invest in an air horn so people will shut the hell up while the person is speaking.

Okay, I should admit that I am heavily partial to air horns. I'd love to get one but my husband won't let me. He claims I'd use one to wake him up but I beg to differ. I love him. I would NOT do that. He'd have to do something terrible to me before I consider inflicting permanent deafness.

I would use an air horn to get noisy people to shut up. One sign you have no business working with the public: you'd seriously consider using an air horn to make stragglers leave the establishment you work in at closing time or if they continue to yammer on about the same point you've given them the answer to. No one can talk louder than the sound of an air horn.

Can you imagine the fun it would be to have an air horn? Someone pissed you off yakking on their cell phone? Blast the air horn! Noisy child with a lazy parent? Set off the air horn right at the deadbeat or the child's ear! I'd pay to see that, seriously. My husband thinks I'd have way too much fun with one. Maybe we should see about getting them for people who direct our films so they can maintain order if yelling "Hey, shut up!" doesn't work. More effective, safer & you won't have to get a firearm permit vs. shooting a gun like the one teacher did in Boston Public to get his class of at-risk students to listen to him. No arrest records with an air horn or at least far less likely.

3. I'll listen to my colleagues when they say I shouldn't be doing overnight shoots or discouraging me from certain things. Happily married people belong at home in bed with their spouses or at least snuggled with them if they're going to be on an overnight film shoot. My husband didn't even sleep that well when I came home at about 8:30 a.m., dog tired, wearing make-up and carrying my stuff. My sleep schedule was screwed up all weekend.

Good lessons and overall, glad for the experience. BWBN5JRMHZ98

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Why It's Insulting to Tell a Woman "You'll Change Your Mind" When it Comes to Kids

In case you haven't read earlier entries, I'm going to tell you this right now: I, The Angry Redheaded Lawyer, am childfree. As in, I do not have kids & I do not WANT kids ever.

To familiarize yourself with childfree lingo, see this earlier post. I was checking Facebook earlier and saw a friend's status update concerning an issue of pregnancy. One of her friends decides to bingo her with the old "maybe you'll change your mind" line, implying that because she's not met her future husband yet and is under 30, somehow her declaration of childfreedom is invalid.

I, being a childfree person the words didn't apply to, could not let that one slide. If you are a decent childfree person & you see this happen to someone else, you won't let that slide either.

So for those of you who say "But I'm just passing on worldly advice!" and think you're being well-meaning when you say something like that to someone, let me explain why it's considered a "bingo":

1. You're infantalizing the person. You may as well say "Oh, you're just a little girl. You don't know anything!" and pat them on the head. Guess what? I've heard that statement myself & I find it just as insulting to my intelligence as when doctors claimed they would "try to talk me out of" getting sterilization.

For that matter, if the law says an 18 year old is an adult then stop infantilizing 20 & 30 somethings. Otherwise, why not make us property one again & then we'll never be punished for our crimes?

2. You're butting into an area you know nothing about. Do you fuckers LIVE my life? Do you know how to read minds? Do you know anything about my household income, career prospects, the space I inhabit in the world? Do you live in my household? You don't? Then shut the hell up!

Your life does not = my life. What works for you doesn't work for everyone. Just because YOU changed your mind DOESN'T mean I will. Furthermore, even if you couldn't adopt or get fertility treatments, we have plenty of kids in this country who could use an adult mentor or some mother/father figure to spend time with them. Plenty of organizations have big brother/sister programs so if you really want to be around kids badly enough & to shape/mold their lives, it doesn't require demanding a woman to destroy her body with pregnancy. You could even be a teacher if you so choose.

If someone's telling me this crap, I know they're an idiot. It would be insane & sheer lunacy for me to give up my career & my marriage for some baby-rabies stricken man who'd demand me to be barefoot and pregnant.

3. You have no respect for the person's choices. You are attacking their way of life. I've not heard about gay people saying this stuff but if you were a gay person telling someone this, how would you feel about me not recognizing YOUR relationship or saying "Don't say you'll never date a (wo)man!"? You don't hear gay people saying "I was gay when I was younger but when I turned (30-35-some higher age than the person they tell this to), I met & married (Opposite gender name here). Now we have 2.3 kids & still live in wedded bliss." Unless maybe they were in one of those stupid "we'll make you straight" camps or saw some scumbag where they "pray the gay away." It doesn't come up in normal conversation.

Gay people would find that disrespectful. Same thing for doing that to a childfree person.

So, well meaning person who espouses this stuff? How would you feel if I said to YOU that your low paying/status/prestige career that you loved was simply a faze and you'd eventually change your mind to take a higher paying/status/prestige career? What if I told you you should stop having kids since the first one was part of a faze? You'd almost never hear someone say that stuff. If you did, everyone would instantly say "Oh, let that person be happy. It's not affecting you. Have some respect for their choices." You'd also get some of that if you attack someone for being gay (amount varies on where you live).

Why the hell can't you get more people to do that with women who don't want kids? Is it part of a Republican conspiracy? They do want to outlaw abortion, you know (go read some recent actions by some politicians [twerps, if you want to be accurate], especially in the red states) & I haven't seen the same whackjobs stand up for voluntary sterilization.

By the way, if you say this as a total stranger, count on me not dealing with you again or doing you any favors. BWBN5JRMHZ98

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

People Who Kick Ass & The Failures

So, I've read a few news stories and the like lately about people who did awesomely great things I'd totally do if it were me as well as about events I'd beat the crap out of someone for doing to me.

First off, my husband introduced me to a website called Passive Aggressive Notes. Check it out for yourself. He says he regrets doing this because on any site where I read a story, I try to read all the user comments (largely to see if there is any hope for humanity or if I need to focus any vigilante justice on particular regions of the globe).

See this post. It epitomizes why I personally hated high school & the writers of Strangers With Candy were dead on when comparing high school to prison. Note that this post also illustrates the main problem of most high school administrators: they focus too much on trivial issues vs. real problems like drugs, bringing guns to school, fights, sneaking in alcohol, etc. Sorry, but I'll take "lewd dancing" over a fist/gun/knife/weapon of choice fight or drunk teenagers puking everywhere.

Perhaps I say this because I couldn't have paid money to get a high school classmate to engage in dirty dancing with me. This sort of thing is standard fare in clubs & college but they serve alcohol at those places (well, maybe not on my campus but if you had friends or were over 21 you could easily get alcohol & especially if you were female).

Why would you want to do it if you weren't dating the person & you knew most of the room was sober? At least if you're doing it & everyone's drunk, you can say "It wasn't me; you were just drunk & must have been seeing things." Personally, I would be way too self-conscious.

Perhaps I also say this because no one really cared about dances at our school unless it was the prom (we didn't even have other dances except for the prom & sometimes Homecoming, which was nothing).

At the prom, everyone was dressed up (in the late '90s long evening gowns were the style), some of us were over 18 at an off campus venue & no way would any self-respecting woman get her dress dirty on the ground to engage in this type of dancing. Even grinding would be kind of hard in a long evening dress. Do you know how much it costs to clean an evening gown? Or repair one?

I think my mother would have also pointed out the shitty grammar. She'd likely even say that it's further proof that these "adults" aren't worthy of our respect. If these people had to go through college & can do no better than that in writing (while my mother did not & is a very good speller), they are obviously morons. God help the youth of America. I'd hate to see what these students' essays look like. They'll likely send me shitty cover letters in a few years.

Let me also clue you old farts in on another reality: teenagers have likely done or seen most things. They're not 5 year olds! They have the Internet (can we say "porno"), friends on social networks & have likely heard/seen far worse at home. I consider "think of the children" a shitty argument to begin with unless you're talking to a parent about THEIR kids but it really doesn't fly for me in dealing with teenagers. They're supposed to be "young adults" & preparing for real life. Do you really think most things would be novel to them before the age of 18 if they lived in real life? You can't even cloister kids at religious private schools from the secular realities of life (just consider the number of teen pregnancies that happen) so I find it hysterical that a public institution would even think to try it. This is why British TV on teens will always be superior to American teen shows: the Brits don't act like teenagers are clueless little innocents!

I also don't recall this dance being open to grown ups. If it were, you might have an argument but otherwise, this is just about a bunch of old farts who need to let go & join us in modern times. If this were my school, I'd boycott & point out how you're banning break dancing, swing dancing & other forms of dance that are hardly lewd but would violate their little rule. Not to mention the arbitrary nature of it all! If you doubt I would, read about some of the things I did do in high school to piss off the Man.

Here's another human being fail. If you ever do this to me, bad things will happen (as you can read about in earlier posts). Or I'll likely write you a full diatribe about how you're not my parent, I'll eat & cook what I damn well please & that you have the option NOT TO EAT something if you declare it "unhealthy."

Or the best response: "Yes, Jeff I want you ALL to be fat & unhealthy. Especially you! You are all mental midgets and Jeff, you're the biggest one of all. Here's a Twinkie!" Note: if I tell you to eat a Twinkie, it means I really hate you since I hate Twinkies. I've tried but I don't like them. Give me a Hostess cupcake or one of their other treats instead. I've never had their Ding Dongs or Ho-Hos.

If other office dynamics work like this, is it no wonder I'm happy working by my lonesome???

Now, for some people who rock.

First off, Katt Williams. I'm all for his stance here. People who stand by what they say get points in my book. And by the way, my husband & I know who Katt Williams is from The Boondocks considering A Pimp Named Slickback has to be one of the coolest characters to ever grace an animated series. So there are some white fans. One of my husband's co-workers tried to see him live one night but apparently he'd had some kind of mental breakdown so the show was cancelled. I 100% agree with his comment on Tracy Morgan.

Second, Billie Joe Armstrong. I've not been a big Green Day fan since "Time of Your Life" came out but I agree with him on this. Southwest Airlines apparently declares itself the fashion police, as we've seen in the past. Do "Jesus freak" style Christians run it? Are on they on the board of directors? That's the only reason I can think of why any airline would choose to make the flying experience even more demeaning and insulting than the U.S. government already has via TSA & all the "security screenings."

This is why I refuse to fly unless I can go in a private airplane or you don't mind me showing up in a bikini. Maybe you should show up in a G-string bikini or just a G-string if you live in a state where women can go topless as long as they aren't advertising i.e. soliciting sex? I don't know & I refuse to bother with it. I'm sure Southwest Airlines would kick you off the plane if you showed up in a G-string bikini or any bikini. Eventually, I'm sure we'll all have to show up naked or do strip searches if we aren't already.

Finally, a lawyer decided to do something I've talked about doing myself. I haven't done it b/c my husband wouldn't allow it but I have no problem with someone doing this. The ABA has sold everyone out, there really aren't any powerful advocates for the situation most attorneys who don't have jobs are in (and new grads have it even worse since they don't even have experience to set up solo shops) & you'll never see real change until these coward lawyers get off their butts, stop worrying about impressing other lawyers, enlist support from more sympathetic groups/movements & take action.

Personally, I think blood may have to be shed or some unscrupulous collection agency will have to kill someone before real action happens. For one thing, you have to deal with the know-it-alls who say "you shouldn't have gone to law school; you should study THIS demanding field" and other pearls of shit that aren't one size fits all solutions & do nothing for people in a current situation. I want people like that to suffer greatly since clearly they've never faced hard times & are far too brainwashed to do anything more than let the slave master shit on their foreheads/anally rape them/whatever graphic atrocity you can think of. Maybe evolution will eventually breed them out of existence.

Second, you have the bar examining committee who'd make you give up your license for doing this. I still find it laughable that they have a character & fitness committee for lawyers in their outside lives, especially when this same committee will refuse to admit you for being poor while a rich guy who pees on federal memorials, sells drugs, fakes his credentials, espouses racist views and God knows what else lawyers from moneybag places have done & STILL get to keep their licensing. Another classist institution that if I were involved in you bet would be handled differently. It's also incredible that some of these people will turn their noses up at things & espouse the same views as the know-it-alls on comment forums when they also have never faced hard times. Guess what? I hate these sorts of know it alls & feel they should keep their mouths shut on matters they know NOTHING about. A million dollars says they'd crack like eggs if they ended up in the same situation & would never cope as well as this woman.

Oh, but guess who else I love? The holier than thou religious types who say "Don't be a stripper! God will provide! Work at Wal-Mart!"

Okay, Wal-Mart is just as degrading & according to many they are Satan. I think it's about equal on the scale of scumminess. Have you seen that website "People of Wal-Mart"? Do the churchies have any clue how much it costs to go to law school? A Wal-Mart salary barely feeds one person & provides zero medical care (as we've learned elsewhere); how would you ever pay off law school loans?

Plus, no lawyer would put up with the abuse that goes on in Wal-Mart & no sane manager there would dare hire someone who knows their legal rights. I still maintain that being a prostitute would be better than working at Wal-Mart. God also helps those who help themselves, unless you forgot that part of the Bible.

I don't recall a commandment that reads "Thou shalt not be a stripper." I recall "Judge not lest ye be judged" and "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor" along with scores of other passages these harpies have likely broken a hundred times in their miserable little lives. Oh, and if we're going with the "body as a temple" thing, then let's talk about tattoos, pierced ears, shaving, cutting your hair & any other cosmetic changes that violate how God made you. Bet you won't like that conversation, will you?

I also don't recall this woman saying she was having unprotected sex with married men or raping anyone (yes, women can rape men). If these men want to pay the money to see boobies, that's on them not the business owner & not the dancers taking advantage of it.

Same thing as Mr. Fat Police earlier; your vices are YOUR problem, not mine & not everyone else's!! Take some personal responsibility, douchebag.

Carla, I hope you read this blog or one of your friends does. You'd actually be someone I could probably stand & be okay with having as a fellow colleague. I'm sure you're not the kind of asshole that makes me hate most lawyers & hesitate to do anything helpful for them. If you do more interesting things & want help in the mainstream entertainment world, let me know. I'm sure many of your clientele are attorneys themselves so let's just think about that hypocrisy for a moment.

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Now, you may think I'm picking this because of it being the 10th anniversary of 9/11. You'd be wrong if that's what you're thinking.

First off, I saw enough TV footage of 9/11 when it happened. I don't need to see anymore. Second, 9/11 has gone from a day of mourning to a public spectacle and scheme to manipulate the public to sacrifice more & more of their civil liberties.

The terrorists have already won this fight so stop deluding yourself by thinking invasive searches at airports are keeping you safe; they aren't. Not to mention, you have zero credibility with me in security discussions if you are pro-illegal immigration and don't support sealing the borders. I'm shocked that I'm the only person who's made this link or that it's not occurred to anyone else that harboring illegals from other nations isn't smart. If you support measures to "keep us safe," you should also support border sealing & evicting illegals (particularly those who commit crimes like identity theft or failure to carry insurance as well as murder, sexual assault, or other "more serious" crimes) considering you're a prisoner in your own country unless you're rich.

Third, if you lost family or friends on that day, I think you should get to mourn in private instead of having the media/society at large hijack & exploit the day. I don't need a public spectacle to mourn my loved ones or show I cared, thanks. Plus, public spectacles don't bring people back & people have different ways of grieving. There's no one right or wrong involved in it.

So, while I didn't pick this topic with 9/11 in mind it did remind me of particular issues that bother me when it comes to death:

Right near my house, there's a cemetery at the side of a busy, well traveled road. For some mysterious reason, the city decided to put speed bumps in the middle of the street near this cemetery to cut down on speeding. I think it's terribly asinine.

Why on Earth do you think dead people give a damn about people speeding along on the road? First off, the people buried aren't your loved ones. Their spirits are long gone. Second, if I'm dead I wouldn't give a shit if you sped past my final resting place. I'd want you to speed in fact. Finally, if you're not using my remains for cleaning or fornicating with them any "respect" argument is a wash in my book. I'm GONE, damn it! I DON'T CARE!!!!! Get that through your head.

I've personally experienced death far more than your average person my age. I've lost an infant niece, a 21 year old brother in law, numerous aunts and uncles, a grandmother, my mom's co-workers & school classmates. The deaths that really hit home were my brother in law & niece since they were part of my immediate family, which had largely been untouched by death despite the loss of aunts, uncles & my grandmother through my childhood & even today. I've been to a number of funerals and wakes so I certainly have more backing on this than most people.

Did you know that it costs a LOT of money to bury someone? My brother in law's funeral in total was about $10,000. Did you also know that many graveyards are segregated? I learned that in NC, there are "black cemeteries" vs. "white cemeteries." Apparently, this is some type of norm in places though I don't know about other regions.

These two issues are a major bother for me. I want someone to spend money on me when I'm alive vs. when I'm dead. In fact, I would be pissed at people spending a bunch of money on me when I'm dead. The money you spend on flowers, headstones, paying morticians, etc. would be better off going to some charity I cared about or to anyone left behind. I'd even prefer you spend that money on something fun for yourself since you only get one life & you'd better live each day to the fullest.

I also like the idea of funeral as celebration. Most of the funerals I went to were sad, crying, tragic scenes. There was only one I went to that wasn't this & it was for a black co-worker of my mother's who'd been diagnosed with cancer and ended up going pretty quickly after that. White people are way too big on the tragedy aspect. I'd rather people told happier stories about me: at my late brother in law's funeral, I remembered an inside joke we had when we'd traveled to NY while I was considering law schools. I also felt good that he'd gotten to go to NY and travel because of me. My sister was stuck to this man like glue at the time and I didn't want to go on the trip with just me and my mother since I felt we'd end up fighting way too much. His father had objected to him going but I told my sister that I'd personally go accuse the man of trying to ruin my future if he didn't let his son go since that's precisely what I felt he'd be trying to do since if his son didn't go, my sister wouldn't go. Plus, my mother said she felt better having "a man" along on the 10-12 hour road trip.

I also insist on being cremated for as cheaply as possible. Even if it has to be done at home since I refuse to have someone pay $10,000 for my body disposal. Waste of money, considering I hear cremation is just as much as burial. Plus, considering I'm not a racist I hate the idea of being placed in a segregated graveyard since that would be contrary to how I lived my life and treated others. I'm also an organ donor so I don't care about pretty little cosmetic garbage that some people do. No religious person I know has ever believed that you must be buried with all your organs intact or you'll go to Hell. You'd be seen as a wacko at best & unchristian at worst.

My family members have been warned that they'll be haunted for eternity if they violate my wishes & especially if they ever left me on life support for a bunch of years.

I'm not as concerned with eulogies but I'd rather it was people who knew me telling their own stories and sharing happy memories. I don't want someone who could care less about me or who didn't know a thing about me giving a eulogy. I want specification. One thing I wish had been mentioned at my brother in law's funeral but wasn't was the fact that he never used his heart condition to elicit pity or get special privileges. You'd never even know he had it unless he told you.

I can't stand people who use physical handicaps to beg for money on subways & it really pisses me off considering you never saw my late brother in law doing that. You'd never see my current brother in law doing that either! That's a whole other soapbox that I think I've discussed before but I think there's a strength of character in someone who doesn't have an entitlement complex because of physical or mental maladies.

You are more than welcome to have sex if bereaved by my death; I encourage it, in fact. Don't feel guilty! You can also take drugs as long as you don't use my ashes to get high. When I experienced these close losses, I went out the night of the news since I couldn't stay at home. With my late brother in law, I went to karaoke so I'd be around friends (or I'd have been all alone) & with my niece, my husband & I went to a comedy club we go to on occasion but did so discreetly. Get drunk (unless you're an alcoholic or tend to inflict pain on others when drunk), do what you have to in order to process it. Again, no right or wrong way to deal with grief.

Finally, I want no religious aspects to my funeral. Don't make people pray or feel uncomfortable by being in a church. Someplace that welcomes all people is the way to go in dealing with a venue for when I'm dead & gone. Even better if it's just gathering at someone's house to talk about me. Doing less is tacky and lame to people who cared & don't fit some societal conceit of "normal" or a "perfect" person.

I strongly agree with that notion that funerals aren't for the dead, they are for the living. The best way to honor me would be to stand up for yourself, take control of your own life and doing what will make you happy vs. settling for things that don't. I'd feel truly honored if someone did something difficult or took a risk because of something I did and my being who I am vs. building a shrine or putting in speed bumps right next to my final resting place. Graves end up eventually getting ignored & neglected anyway so I don't see a point to having one myself when I'm dead. Appease the living? I haven't worried about anyone else's opinions on what I do thus far so why should I care when I'm dead?

Monday, September 5, 2011

What Did Blonds Ever Do To Us???

I'm about to tell you about a phenomenon that you're fully familiar with if you're a natural redhead: the dislike of blonds. For those who aren't natural redheads, let me give you some perspective.

1. When you're growing up as a natural redhead, you get a legion of people who put you down for it. I remember getting downright tormented by male classmates. I also heard from a guy once "I'd think you were pretty if you were a blonde."

I thought I'd been the only one until I read a story in Seventeen magazine as a teenager where the story author was a natural redhead talking about her experience growing up as a redhead. She had a guy tell her the VERY same thing.

So blonde, in a redhead's mind, is = to "society's ideal that I'm not." Hearing it enough really makes you chafe against it. Even some little girls will try to push blonde hair color onto redheads or make you feel like less of a person because you're a redhead.

2. Segments of society insult redheads. Consider the saying "Blonds have more fun." Who came up with that? Or "redheaded stepchild?" It wasn't a redhead, that's for sure. If you'd hung around me in college (oh, hell if you hung around me now), you'd know that was total bullshit. The blonds I knew had to actually put in effort to get guys to talk to them. They had to flirt. I never did. To my knowledge, I'm the only one with that power & I'm sure some people who've seen it would tell you that it's because I'm a redhead. Presumably, redheads have magic guy catching powers.

There are also men who hate redheads & claim we're ugly. One of these men was none other than Psycho Boy, if you can believe it. He said he hated redheads before meeting me. Had no sexual interest in them but when it was me, he was practically a damn stalker!

Is it any wonder I preferred dark haired guys? I'd have been all set if I'd gone to school with Italian guys but sadly, there were none in NC when I lived there. Blond haired guys also never talked to me & typically never viewed me as a romantic prospect.

And is it any wonder I had a lot of friends who weren't white when I was growing up? See, if you're a redhead you're the target of insult. I always spoke to whoever was nice to me & I figure the people who were my friends were dealing with similar garbage from the white kids so we had some common ground + common enemies. This is why if there were a natural redhead takeover, racial minorities would be fine.

Plus, they never looked at me like I was some alien from outer space. You feel like people think that about you, especially if you're around other redheads. Going out with my own family has garnered those looks. I'm more aware of being the only redhead than of being the only white person in a room.

3. Mainstream entertainment puts redheads down on a regular basis. How many natural redheads have actually become famous? Now, how many blonds and brunettes? Who's seen as the "industry type?" Certainly not redheads & I definitely don't think some blond is better looking than me, thank you very much. If anything, that blonde would more likely compliment my hair. I also think redheads are far more special & noticeable.

By the way, I define a natural redhead as someone who's never been any color but red. A real redhead would be murdered for changing her hair color. I've certainly been threatened with it & I get compliments on my hair nearly every time I walk into a hair salon. No decent beautician would ever dye it for me since they'd view it as a crime against nature.

Now I know finding natural redheads is next to impossible. Yes, I know it's only natural for 1% of the world's population. I don't envy anyone having to find a stand in for me if I had a role requiring that. But if you know redheaded actors & you're taking fake ones for parts, it does piss me off. It's the same feeling that I'm sure black people, Asian people, Hispanic people & others had when Hollywood was having white people pretend to be them instead of looking for actors who fit those characteristics.

The Millionaire Matchmaker apparently even had the gall to insult redheads, implying we were inferior and second class. Ha! The bitch hosting that one should see me out someplace, where I totally don't act like someone trying to find a guy & have guys approach me whether I like it or not.

Plus, the experience of being a natural redhead is very different from dyeing your hair the color later in life. You aren't coming into it with the baggage and the hassle a natural redhead had to go through. You're making a choice vs. having it inflicted upon you. You didn't have your mother tell you you couldn't dye your hair until you were 18. Nor did you have to go through life feeling like you had a proverbial spotlight fixed on you at all times.

It's no coincidence or shocker that natural redheads don't wish red hair on their kids, especially if that kid's going to be a boy. Red-haired guys have it even worse. At least women can get jobs as models or be viewed as "exotic."

Not to mention Manswers proclaims red-haired women are the best in bed, more sexually adventurous and get laid more often (vs. both blondes & brunettes). There are also fewer prudes in our ranks. This is WOMEN, though. Not sure whether this is true about men since such stories only go to women.

So, tell me again that blondes have more fun. Sounds like the men who hate redheads need to start listening to Manswers. I'm not going to confirm or deny the truth of those statements but let's just say that stereotypes about anything exist because some people do live up to them. Otherwise, they wouldn't exist.

Hopefully after reading this, you non-redheads out there will show some respect to the natural redheads you know. I find it funny Chelsea Handler says the same thing about red-haired guys that I've been saying for years. Only difference is no one would think she was committing incest if she dated one.

Friday, September 2, 2011

General Musings Part 26

If you wanted to come up with a theme for this one, I think it would be "why people suck & The Angry Redheaded Lawyer would rather be friendless than suffer these fools."

* First, more religious corruption. Are you not surprised that no one in this congregation is thinking about the women involved who may actually have been raped? No public backlash, not even a "we expect more from you as a man of the cloth & you let us down." Nice to know that pedophiles & rapists are always welcomed in the flock while homosexuals & liberals are condemned and outright trashed. Some of these very same people even do the condemning!

Consider all the flack people are giving Chaz Bono, and much of that coming from self-proclaimed religious people who claim Dancing With the Stars is a "family" show.

Since when did anything currently airing on TV become a "family" show??? I've never watched Dancing With The Stars and I have no interest in it. Just another reality show, if you ask me. I also believe in the freedom to do whatever you want with your own body without religious harpies going around & castigating you for it.

None of these morons have to live in Chaz Bono's body or deal with the day to day consequences of that sex change operation; are these the same sects that hassle people for getting tattoos or piercings? Do they go around examining people's private parts to see if they've been pierced? I sure wouldn't want to belong to that congregation. Would you?

* Aaah, toxic friends and workplace drama. These must part of the base of the pyramid of nastiness in human beings.

Honestly, I don't get it. I dealt with the toxic friend situation (actually, I prefer the term "shitty friend" since that's really what it is) in middle school. Maybe it was more like "inattentive friends?" By later on in high school, I stopped worrying about what anyone else thought of me & decided to live my own damn life. I also had more experiences that made me realize than when someone is a drain and a cancer in your life, it's better to simply eradicate it. This is why I never had a relationship lasting longer than 6 months before meeting my spouse, a partial reason I refuse to have children & why I don't have many true friends. As I said before, when the thought of not being friends with someone makes you feel like a heavy weight has been lifted from your shoulders, what are you "saving" and why are you still friends w/that person?

Reading the workplace drama one was interesting. See the part about James Powell, where his wife was being "teased" at a company event by a prick co-worker who claimed she was too pretty to be married to him. She "internalized the stress and jokes" and it harmed their marriage?! Are you kidding me?!?

I went to a holiday party for my husband's old job (which I refer to as "the Hellhole"; you would to). When I was there, I had what folks call my "Cinderella" gown on & was asked by one of his co-workers why I was dating him (at the time, he was my boyfriend). I responded that I had (still have, in fact) a mental connection with him & that when you have a mental connection with someone, you've got the real thing.

I still believe that, in fact. Looks fade. People switch careers, lose their fortunes, get injured. Everything flows from that mental connection: chemistry, love, all that stuff. If you've experienced it, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't, maybe you will someday. I never expected to so if there's someone who can put up with my ass & not kill me, I'd think just about anyone has a fair chance.

I sure as hell didn't "internalize" this shit or have it affect my relationship. Who is that kind of woman? A good wife would be doing what the politician's wives do: bolster their spouse in people's eyes, give you a glimpse into what she sees in him and make you feel ashamed for being a total dick all at once. My husband's co-workers would also never get away with being nasty to me. I wouldn't even let his bosses do that; I don't work there & as a lawyer, it's in my nature not to take shit from others or let people pick on my loved ones. Messing with them is the same as messing with me. I also don't owe my husband's employer anything as it relates to me or my career. Getting on my bad side guarantees I'm not doing a damn thing for you, regardless of who you are.

If it sounds like I'd be a good politician's wife, you might be half right except I can't give birth to kids & I don't take kindly to infidelity against me unless we agreed to an open marriage for both of us (not just the guy) & clarified that whole arrangement. Plus, I'm too much of a romantic, insist on having my own career & couldn't deal with getting the short end of the stick emotionally. I can't be a leech, all right?

* Thank God there are some judges with common sense! I was gratified to read that this lawsuit by some trust fund brats who will likely end up living here as hipsters & driving up real estate prices was dismissed. I didn't grow up in a $1.5 million home or act entitled to money in birthday cards so, yes, if you fit those conditions and bring this up in a lawsuit I'm going to call you a trust fund brat right to your face.

Want to talk damaging, Steven & Kathryn?? Try growing up in a household where your father's a raging alcoholic who destroys your belongings and throws things near your head when he's drunk? How about fleeing from your home when he's in a drunken rage? Or living with a mother who refused to leave & left you feeling like she put her husband ahead of her kids? How about a father who steals from you and feels zero remorse for it?

Or how about being a victim of incest or physical abuse? There are adults who lived that & I bet they're pissed at you both for the gall you have to claim you had it "so bad" when I'm sure you wouldn't last 5 seconds in a real crisis. I'm pissed at you & I only suffered emotional abuse.

Grow up and then maybe we'll take you more seriously when you claim to be undergoing "hardship." I feel sorry for anyone foolish enough to employ either of these people.

Reading this also made me feel better. It tells me the legislators are women hating morons who should keep their mouths shut unless they can get pregnant. If women supported this legislation, they should shut up unless they've actually been in this situation. Otherwise, they also know nothing or at best, have been brainwashed by religion so intently that they should never hold public office in a secular setting where they have to represent the interests of people who don't believe in their God.

These judges give me a slight bit of hope for humanity.

* So does this man, in fact. I would have a lot more respect for many people, especially those in education, if they did what Larry Powell was doing. Why can't people like him run the country? Take note. People would love you instantly for giving up some high power salary & using it to fund important projects that would be cut otherwise.

* But..just when I have some faith in humanity, it gets shattered again. Consider this college's intrusive application question.

If you think coming out wouldn't be held against you in a college setting, you're horribly naive. There was rampant homophobia at my undergrad & I attended a liberal arts school in Atlanta. You'd expect that place to be a bastion of gay pride & acceptance. Not quite. There were still a number of bigots there. They did harass the gay people & their friends; I also didn't much administrative action in the face of it all. The people victimized also complained about that lack of administrative action.

Could you imagine answering that honestly in places like religious schools or areas where they put a priority on religion? You would get branded. I'm not stupid enough to fall for it & I hope others won't be either.

I feel asking about sexual orientation is just like asking about race. You're either creating a form of affirmative action (which I'm not in favor of since I'd rather just kill bigots or avoid learning such personal details altogether to get around prejudices) or inviting people to lie so they can get scholarships & so forth. Lying about sexual orientation seems much easier than lying about your race.

And would you want to be the token LGBT person/guinea pig being used to create more campus "diversity?" This means, you're the only one & will likely be made to feel unwelcome by the student body at large.

The exact issue came up at my college where they wanted black students to increase "diversity." We were in the midst of black colleges! Even if these particular schools weren't well known for academics, I can't blame a black college goer for not wanting to subject himself/herself to some of things going on at my undergrad at that time. That was the early 2000's.

So maybe someone had noble intent in asking that but my cynic side just sees problems akin to those of race.

Having finally dealt with some of the issues of the day, I'm going to see about eating and trying on my new shorts.