People Who Should Be Punched In the Face

Ideally, I'd love some people to be punched so hard even plastic surgery won't get them back to their former glory. For one thing, I suspect some retaliation going on with Verizon because of me complaining about shoddy service. Magically, on a sunny day, my landline goes out & Internet gets buggy.

I speak to my contact in the Executive Customer Service Center about this & how I suspect it's retaliation (especially considering a Verizon truck was spotted working on equipment in our area, then vanishes & problems result). Gee, what would YOU conclude with all this & my prior experiences? I also called up my local city councilperson's office quite angry yesterday.

Based on the attitude I got in my Senate person's office, I'll be making certain not to vote for Michael Gianaris when he's up for re-election. My e-mail inquiring on his stance toward indie film companies didn't go through (since in his newsletter sent to my home some time back, there's this big story about how he's helping the entertainment industry in NYC) so I have to wonder if he, like Bloomberg, thinks only rich companies & people have rights. I wouldn't be shocked if the answer was "yes." I think most politicians are drastically overpaid & there's certainly enough evidence of it that I don't have to link salary listings for you. A lot of them have also forgotten just who they work for. The Occupy protests are shining examples of this.

But, onto those specific people I think should be punched (alongside corporate assholes, rude folk & people claiming the protestors should stop protesting & "get jobs" while suppressing the right to protest). More interesting & appalling Craig's List ads ahead.

Video editing and production intern (Chelsea)

Date: 2011-08-15, 8:07PM EDT
Reply to: job-37ued-2548830833@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Video production company seeking a talented intern with an interest in editing, production and marketing for video. Approx. 2-3 days/wk. Please apply if you are able to commit at least 15 hours/wk (up to 25/wk). Internship will be split between editing, production, marketing and clerical.

Ideal candidate will have above average written and verbal communication skills and be comfortable with speaking to clients and vendors on the phone and in person.

- Should be reliable, punctual and organized
- Candidates should have their own MAC laptops
- Candidates with experience in editing and who are working toward becoming editors are preferred. Please note your skill level in Final Cut Pro, After Effects and Photoshop.

Duties would include organizing office, scheduling editing sessions and crews, assisting on video shoots, making phone calls, media logging and transferring, preparing footage for editing, editing small video projects, assisting on large editing projects and crafting emails.

Please reply to this posting with a resume, brief cover letter describing your goals and experience and provide any video samples. Include your contact info in email body. Again, please only apply if you are able to commit at least 15 hours/wk (up to 25/wk). We will be contacting people ASAP.

My problems with this ad are A) attempts to exploit experienced people by making them work as interns (my company, for the record, has never done this & has more respect for people than that), B) zero reimbursement for using personal equipment or travel (which is scuzzy if you ask me) & C) asking for 25 hours a week. The average day job is 40 hours a week & these days, most ask for more. Plus, for 3 days at 25 hours: that's a shift at a full time job (8 hours).

This strikes me as illegal under federal & state labor law. Seeing such ads tells me "I don't have a lawyer either in-house or outside my company. I'm a moron & will not go anywhere."

But it does get worse.

Film Finance Company Seeks Full Time Intern (Flatiron)

Date: 2011-08-15, 6:33PM EDT
Reply to: job-sz5q4-2548670456@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


A New York City-based film finance company is looking for a full time office intern with exceptional communication and organizational skills. The individual should be interested in film finance but also have experience working in an office or as a personal assistant. Tasks will include a full range of administrative duties as well as script coverage and creative work. The internship will start unpaid with the potential for compensation in time and all the perks of working for a film company. Position requires 4-5 days work a week, starts immediately in New York City.

Interested candidates should reply to this ad with a resume and cover letter listing all relevant experience.

Compensation: unpaid with potential for future pay
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2548670456

Totally ILLEGAL to have a "full time intern." And why the hell would anyone work full time for no pay? Even a millionaire would want some type of return on their free labor & certainly would want that. This is sick & insulting.

Furthering the insulting & illegal internships category is this gem.

Ent. Writers Needed Established NYC Entertainment Group! (Chelsea)

Date: 2011-08-16, 2:40AM EDT
Reply to: job-rwhqf-2549244904@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Are you interested in pursuing a career in entertainment, specifically in the field of writing? Is your writing ability one to brag about? Does your style and passion separate you from the rest?

Come intern with us!

We are a rapidly expanding entertainment group with offices in Chelsea that has worked with well-known clients and brands like Mos Def, SummerStage, John Legend, Ciara, Rihanna, MTV, BET, Heineken, Bacardi, Miramax, and America's Next Top Model.

This fall we will be working on a slew of exciting projects which include producing a feature-length film, producing a citywide music festival, launching a network of entertainment-based blogs, and overseeing the music careers of several popular music artists, producers, and songwriters.

WRITING INTERNS must have eloquent writing skills, and an extended background in some sort of journal, poetry, essay and/or creative writing. Each intern must also have wealth of interest and knowledge in the music, film, and/or fashion worlds.

Furthermore, ALL INTERNS must be creative, willing to think outside of the box, reliable, motivated, problem solvers, out-going, and detail oriented with the ability to be a team player or a self-starter. Computer, oral and written communication, and people skills are a must.

This is a very BIG opportunity for all who apply so please, ONLY SERIOUS INQURIES!

Do you have what it takes to join our team?

If so, please send a brief email explaining why we should bring you on board!

Email us all of the following:

● Full Name
● Email Address
● Phone Number
● A brief introduction to who you are, what you are currently involved with, like school or personal projects, and what you think you can bring to our company
● Links to your Facebook account and any website(s) that you have.


If you are interested email us back immediately.

If we feel that you have what it takes, we will be in touch to schedule an interview.

The internship is a 4-month long internship with lots of room for growth.

We look forward to hearing from you!

Wow, go fuck yourself. First off, when someone's got experience at something they aren't a damn intern!!! They are a professional & should be compensated according to market rates.

Second, if your company has worked with big name clients (and this goes for all you name droppers) then chances are you've got the means to pay a professional what (s)he is worth. If you do not, you need to carefully evaluate what kind of opportunity working with you is going to give someone & how much you can realistically ask of someone working for free.

I'd wager a lot of money that most of these people promising paid employment at some future date aren't proving written internship agreements or putting that little promise in writing. If you take an internship with someone who makes this empty promise & doesn't back it up in writing, you've now been warned.

Rule of life, I suppose: if a person promises something but won't memorialize it in writing, it means they are full of crap & going to scam you sooner or later.

Finally, you expect unpaid interns to provide links to social media websites? I can understand asking to see a writing portfolio but what I look like has zero to do with writing. Asking for this stuff is nothing but a big judge fest, in my book.

This is an employer's attempt to find something they don't like about someone so they can reject them. Whether it's a legally protected category like race, age, religion, etc. or something like who you voted for in the last election or how you feel about a controversial topic like abortion, gun rights, the Occupy protests, the death penalty or even if you think Casey Anthony got away with murder, I as an employer would not want to see someone's Facebook pages. It's one thing for an employer to Google you & find things that way (which I also take issue with but you can read further back for my stance on that issue) but if you're making your Facebook page private, not friending everyone in sight & taking precautions so an employer couldn't find it on his/her own in a Google search, you've got every right to say "Hell no! I'm not giving you that as a condition to interviewing me."

I would NEVER in a trillion years give someone access to MY Facebook page if they were considering me for a job or an employer. Nor would I friend any co-worker from a job where I could get fired for being myself. Unless you make express, written agreement to let me be me on my own pages, you don't get to be my Facebook friend. End of story, case closed.

Employers need to stop acting like their staff's mommies & daddies. It's a big reason I'm not in favor of working for corporations or large businesses.

And, last I checked, NONE of you corporate executives or heads of big businesses were saints!!! Don't pretend that you are; even the Bible says "Judge not lest ye be judged also." I certainly never claimed I was & wouldn't expect employees to be moral paragons either.

Now, another dick expecting free professional writing services:

Writer intern for Universal Records (Midtown East)

Date: 2011-11-08, 7:20AM EST
Reply to: gigs-jm5qn-2691243569@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


I run an indie label with distribution though Universal Music Group. We are currently looking for writers with expertise in writing business letters, proposals and press releases. This job could lead to a future paid position. Please note: you must own a lap top and live in NYC. If interested please forward your resume and contact info.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2691243569

I responded to this one earlier but apparently the ad is no longer active, which I think is awesome.

Do you know that it's illegal to require interns to have ANY previous experience? You ad says you're "currently looking for writers with expertise in writing business letters, proposals and press releases." It's also insulting to call a professional writer an "intern." Tell me, how does that benefit a professional in ANY way, shape or form? It doesn't! It's a step backwards!

And I see no mention of reimbursing anyone for the use of their PERSONAL laptop for YOUR company's work. Nor do I see a travel requirement but I have a feeling if there is one, you'd presume some professional writer who gets paid to write is going to fall all over himself/herself to PAY to do YOUR work via transit costs. Metrocards aren't cheap! $4.50 round trip adds up & some of us don't make enough in a month to justify a $104 monthly pass EVERY SINGLE MONTH.

I'm also willing to bet a million dollars you expect this professional writing "intern" to put YOUR work ahead of any paid assignments or day jobs outside the field, thinking people's landlords, utility companies & the like will be fine accepting exposure and a smile instead of money for a place to live, food, power, etc.

Why don't you just call this what it is: an attempt to exploit a professional writer for your personal gain. Do YOU like to work for free? What if I offered YOU a job where you wouldn't get paid, called you MY intern, used YOUR expertise for free & then made you pay to travel to my office as well as use your personal resources for MY sole gain? I'd expect you'd tell me to fuck off.

How about opening your wallet & PAYING a professional for their quality + expertise instead of expecting a stranger to jump at the chance of being your "intern?" Or go ask a friend to do your freebies. As a professional writer who gets PAID for her services + an attorney/business owner, you need to get some empathy & some rational thinking skills. Otherwise, people will regularly tell you to fuck off & rightly so.

Craig's List isn't a networking group or your personal slave directory.

Don't forget that either. It ISN'T. Man, I want some people to be arrested in a criminal court for this sort of thing!

I've been getting paid to write, thank you. I don't perform free writing unless it's for my own projects like this blog or work with my own company or for my own performances where I have full creative control. Get the picture?

Not my problem that you can't write or aren't an attorney. Nor is it your problem that I have no mechanical skills or ability to fix a computer, lift heavy objects, etc.

This guy, oh he should be killed. That's all:

Personal Female Assistant

Date: 2011-11-01, 8:42PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-mycuu-2680593923@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Business man seeks attractive female assistant for lunch time and/or after hours stress relieving rendezvous. Hand job required. Send photos and state what you are willing to do for a prompt reply. Pays up to $1000 per week.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $1000 per week

PostingID: 2680593923

Hire a hooker, perv! I'd also love to see this guy's dick fall off. It would be poetic justice after all.

I was watching an episode of Disaster Date earlier & there was a date with an actor playing a chauvinist. Openly told the mark "Shut up! The men are talking here." Apparently, this date had escaped from Amish country but here's a little tip in dealing with me: if you EVER say something that to me or address me in a belittling fashion, expect me to kick you hard in the crotch, cut off your balls or otherwise do something very extreme that will render you unable to continue being a sexist douche. I would have punched him right in the face if I'd been that girl.

Famous people take note (especially James Belushi if you in fact actually did this): ask me to give you a blow job & I'll say you must really hate your dick b/c if I do that, I'll end up biting it off. That doesn't even go into what my husband will do to you & he'd probably kill you for doing less; like me, he doesn't care how famous you are or how much money you have. You may even cause trouble from a friend my husband hates who would love to be his replacement!

Plus, I was once offered $1,000 by a guy I went on my first date with to have sex with him (this was years later and he wasn't even close to rich); if I was ever selling sexual services, you'd have to start from there. Natural redheads are also the rarest people on the planet & have sexual myths + scientific studies making us more marketable on that end so you can't expect freebies. You want me to give you a blow job? At least offer a fair figure so I'll have a fun story to tell people later on.

Think very, very carefully about what you want the outcome to be in dealing with The Angry Redheaded Lawyer.

Better yet, do the same thing for all natural redheads & all female attorneys. It will make your life much easier & you won't end up like John Wayne Bobbit or a eunuch if they can't reattach your lost genitalia.

Yes, I bring lawyer analysis into situations like this. What's your point? I'm not going to do it but any business minded prostitute would consider those factors if she could use them to get a better rate.

More delusions:

intern (nyc)

Date: 2011-10-04, 12:38PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-qrby4-2632052483@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Magazine CEO needs an intern (personal assistant) for up coming fashion show. Please send picture, resume, links, website and why you want to be a personal assistant.
This is an unpaid turned paid position. Best suited for college or post college student hungry and willing to work. There will be pay in the future.
Must be sociable, good with social media, public relation skills, able to go to industry events, office work, organization skills and creative.

Location: nyc
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay


PostingID: 2632052483

More insults, illegality & asking for pictures. More obvious issues in lack of reimbursement, employment discrimination & the like. Can't we just shut these jerks down?

Finally, there's this ad that looks legit but not so fast...

Fall Interns Needed for BreakThru Radio (Chelsea)

Date: 2011-08-16, 9:29AM EDT
Reply to: job-nu4sx-2549427920@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

BreakThru Radio is looking for Fall Interns to join the BTR team. We are looking for individuals who have previous college radio skills and great writing skills in covering music and the culture for BreakThru Radio. You must have previous experience in the field. You will receive plenty of goodies in return for your awesome work and, yes, there are monetary incentives! Check us out at, www.breakthruradio.com.

If you love music, comedy, culture and radio and think that you would be an excellent team member, send us a cover letter and resume! Please list your 5 favorite music artists in your reply.

A little bit about BreakThru Radio: BreakThru Radio is "Radio Rediscovered" in a world where FM is out of frequency. In today's overly saturated music market, it is often difficult for listeners to find what they are looking for. BreakThru Radio has the solution. Listeners are given access to independent music from an expansive and diverse pool of genres, in addition to an innovative comedy platform. Offering the best in music from around the world, BreakThru Radio brings its listeners tracks recorded exclusively for the BTR audience from our live studio. BTR offers on-demand access to its shows and on-the-go iPod capability.

In today's overly saturated music market, it is often difficult for listeners to find what they are looking for. BreakThru radio has the solution. Listeners are given access to music from an expansive and diverse pool of genres in addition to an innovative comedy platform. Offering the best in music from around the world, BreakThru Radio brings its listeners tracks recorded exclusively for the BTR audience from our live studio. BTR offers, on-demand access to its shows, and on-the-go iPod capability. BreakThru Radio is "Radio Rediscovered" in a world where FM is out of frequency.


Compensation: TBD
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2549427920

There's that pesky little illegality of demanding interns to have "prior experience" in the industry. Not cool & it's illegal.

Just come out & say you want volunteers or a barter arrangement. That is at least honest & not insulting people by calling them "interns."

Still have more things to rant about but wouldn't you agree that these people should be punched in the face? Not me but someone. If I went around punching people in the face, I'd never have time to do anything else.

How to Screw Up a Job Opportunity in the Entertainment Field

I've been quite busy lately so have not been able to update as much.

For one thing, I've been dealing with responses to my company's ad for interns. If you have never interviewed people for a job, I highly recommend it. You find out some very interesting things.

First off, Scott Power's advice on how casting directors and the like really want to find the right person for that acting role definitely applies to the intern search. At least with me as interviewer, I'm just seeking the right person for the job. I don't care about things you can't control so before I see your response, you don't lose points with me for simply applying.

Second, you'll see people doing all kinds of things you wouldn't expect. Not following up, not keeping contact information current, ditching interviews without calling, asking for things they could easily find online, etc.

This isn't even talking about interviewing attire, which some businesses are far pickier about than others. As a rule of thumb, I always ask my interviewer how I should dress so I don't walk in wearing my corporate bad ass business suit & scare people even more when applying for a job having nothing to do with my status as an attorney. If you're an attorney even being considered for a non-lawyer job, you want to be as approachable as possible particularly in more casual settings. The suit you wear to court is probably not a good idea.

Speaking of things I didn't expect, I had a rather interesting correspondence with an internship candidate. Note I said "internship candidate," not "CEO candidate" or even "receptionist candidate." There are some lessons to take from it if you're an applicant. Here goes:

1. You are not the only person on the planet. Other people exist, including your interviewer. You don't know how many other candidates I have to talk to, my personal schedule, if I'm getting paid by the company, etc. For all you know, I have 100 other people to talk to + am going on a long awaited vacation in a very short time.

2. You are not the best candidate for the job. As in life, there's always someone who's smarter, prettier, a better athlete, a better dancer, etc. Because you don't know how many candidates I have to consider, it's stupid to assume that you are the most sought after.

3. Even if you somehow are the most sought after candidate, that position can change based on your attitude and behavior toward the interviewer (or for that matter, anyone else working with the company including the custodian). You can go from "I've got to interview this person ASAP" to "No way am I working with this person" in a heartbeat.

4. You want your interviewer to be HAPPY. Believe me, you don't want me interviewing you at the crack of dawn & being pissed that you made me get up early. Nor do you want me interviewing you on a day when my husband's home; I'll just fixate on you taking time away from my loved ones.

5. On that note, the interviewer is in charge. NOT you, bub! You don't get to rush out when I give you details or demand information. I get to tell you things in due time. I'm the captain of this ship as is any other person who is an owner in their company or being authorized to interview you. You don't run the show!!!!!!!!

If you think otherwise, you'll definitely not be working in the entertainment field for long. No one wants to work with a self-important diva, whether that's in acting or otherwise. Oh, and straight men can also be "divas."

That is what you are when you whine about the interview location or me giving information when I feel it's appropriate. If you try to rush me around (remember, I could be waiting to hear back from 100 other people & need to manage their responses to me), this is how I will perceive you.

Want to demand me to interview you at a different venue? Pay me for my time. Until you're doing that, shut up.

6. Attitude is everything. Be a prick & see if you get selected as an intern. Oh, and if you've accused the company of being shady when you have no basis to make such assertions don't expect to be considered for ANYTHING. You won't even get a job picking up trash or cleaning up vomit at the after party.

Oh, and I'm allowed to be a bitch. For one thing, I'm a lawyer. Getting six figure loan debt & dealing with assholes in all aspects of the legal field (clients, other attorneys, etc.) have earned me the right to be less than cordial. You want that right? Go to law school, get a JD and get admitted as a lawyer.

Second, I'm a company owner. My word also trumps yours. If you want that right, get your own company & develop it. You'll learn a thing or two about working with others & finding competent people to help you.

Third, if you think I'm "mean" because I don't pull out Midwestern nice for you (and I'm from the SOUTH, jerk) then you're way too delicate for this industry. There are people in this field that make me look like Melody Hansen from Hey Dude.

Most people would tell you I'm a sweetheart but I don't take shit or let anyone push me around. That's how you have to be if you want to survive in a big city and in a competitive industry.

7. Finally, no one has a right to take cabs everywhere in NYC. We have one of the best public transit systems in NYC. Stop being a whiny little baby about using it or I will tease you about it & call you a wimp to your face.

If I don't know who you are, chance are you're not going to get mobbed on the subway.

Newsflash: not everything films every single scene in Manhattan. Parts of our films were shot in Brooklyn, the Bronx & even (gasp) New Jersey. Even well known TV shows shoot scenes in places like Connecticut, Atlantic City, Brooklyn, the Bronx and Queens. This includes well established, mainstream companies not just indies.

Try demanding a company to film all their scenes in Manhattan, especially when you are an intern. I'd love to hear the results of that conversation since I know what I'd tell someone if they asked me that.

NOW do you want to bitch about going to Queens for the interview?

In closing, interns don't have the connections or trust of established people. You also don't know who I may know in the world who could deny you opportunities because of your actions toward me. The entertainment community is very small and NYC is even smaller.

If you're smart, you won't do what that intern did. It's a surefire way to never work in the industry.

Entertainment Internship Issue

Seems even Dear Prudence weighs in on an issue in being an entertainment intern. I saw this letter a while back:


Dear Prudence,
I landed a dream internship in the entertainment industry and on my first day on the job got to be part of a fabulous evening-long project that culminated in a victory party at a bar. Due to pressure from my supervisors, who were buying the drinks, and poor decision-making, I wound up too drunk to drive home. One of the bosses took me home with him, and when we got there he repeatedly tried to kiss me. This confused me, because I had been certain that he was gay. When I rejected him, saying, "I don't understand," he told me that he found me incredibly beautiful and sexy. Twenty minutes later, I was throwing up in his living room while he tried to play nurse and let me sleep it off on his couch. The next day he begged me not to quit, although he didn't apologize for putting the moves on me. I intend to stay at this internship, because it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Do I write the incident off as a crazy, drunken night and nothing more, or confront him about it? Harassment on my first day, though committed under inebriation, is a pretty heavy issue to just sweep under the rug. What should I do?

—Harassed and Hungover

Dear Harassed,
Get the full DVD set of Entourage and discover that yours could be considered a tame first day on the job in the entertainment industry. Certainly your supervisors should never have encouraged an intern (or any employee) to get drunk. But if you are old enough to have an internship, you should be old enough to know your own limit. Now you do, so that was a valuable evening. There is no Most-Powerful-Man-in-the-World exemption for hitting on an intern (even if the intern flashes some thong); and there's no Hollywood one, either (especially if the intern is inebriated). Your boss gave you a revolting welcome to the industry, but at least he backed off and got all Florence Nightingale after you ralphed in his living room. Although I'd love to be there, as would any reality-show producer, when you clarify your surprise and horror at his unwanted advances by explaining, "I was certain you were gay, so I couldn't believe you were trying to kiss me!" there are some things that are best left unsaid. His begging you not to quit indicates that he knows he behaved terribly. Now that you've both showered, sobered up, and returned to your desks, you need to show your boss that you have the good judgment to forget about your unfortunate start, and instead spend the rest of the summer showing that you are great at your work.

—Prudie

So memo to me: make sure to recruit interns who know how to behave like grown ups. Make certain that the top brass also behaves like grown ups.

Take home message: if you can't hold your alcohol or not become a lecherous cretin/fight instigator/other undesirable behavior that will cost a company lots of $ in lawsuits, damages, harmed reputation, etc., then do not drink at business functions.

Anything where you're dealing with a boss is a business function; I don't care how cool the boss is or how much fun the event is. You will still be judged on how you act if anyone in authority over you is present.

It's a reason I'm in favor of professional distance & would never even hang out socially w/professors when I was a student in their classes. If you want to date your professors or your boss & they're cool with it, that's fine but if you don't, I think it's better not to put yourself in situations where someone could get the wrong idea.

Anyone running an office should take note of this. I sure have. I couldn't see something like this happening at any company I deal with & if I heard about it, you'd better believe I'd be keeping a careful eye on that intern. There are lots of people who think they can sleep their way up in this business & not face any consequences. Some even try to accuse others of sexual harassment if the higher up rejects him/her. I also wonder what sane supervisor would pressure an underling to drink, since you really can't assume all people are happy, fun drunks. My father, for instance, is what I call an asshole drunk.

Situations like this are exactly why you'd better have a well written, detailed sexual harassment policy as well as some forethought not to put alcohol in front of people who can't handle themselves properly when they drink. What if this intern had been a potential investor, director, producer or someone else who might get deeply offended if you try putting the moves on them? I'm probably the only non-drinking attorney in my profession so respect for others & behaving like a grown up when you drink is going to especially be something I'm concerned about.

Honestly, I think we should lower the drinking age since it could cause fewer problems w/too much drinking in America but that's another story.

Utter Stupidity & Another Charming CL Ad

First, the charming Craig's List ad.

Internships are the Devil (Cheapskates)
Date: 2010-06-30, 11:23AM EDT
Reply to: gigs-gpmu3-1818902237@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Ok, maybe not the devil but this city is getting ridiculous. I have held internships at great places where I learned a great deal about the business. I learned the entire business which included hands on experience in my medium by working on actual professional projects. These were valuable learning experiences because they were genuinely based around training incoming employees (which I became at every place I've interned). The crazy thing is that in reading the gigs/jobs/whatever sections of C-list I am finding that people are expecting to save a few bucks by bringing in interns to do what might actually be quantified as WORK. If I am to intern at a film editing house then why would I want to be your office boy doing billing, booking and advertising? If I am to intern at your audio mastering facility why do you assume you can find someone to be studio manager that works 50hrs a week for nothing? All I'm saying is if you are offering/looking for an internship you should probably make sure it is an environnment that supports learning and not free labor. There is a huge difference in what you will get out of the situation on both ends. Also, if you are young, new to the business or just new to the city you should just ignore these cheap bastards looking for no cost employees and search out your own experience. If you are going to give it away then give it away to people and projects that you believe will allow you to grow, gain experience and flex your creativity. There are plenty of up and comers in this city who would love to have your help even if they can't pay you yet. Ignore the idiots trying to exploit you and your energy behind a thinly veiled promise of experience and focus on working with smart ambitious people who appreciate your talents even if they can't pay you. Finally, "employers" (for lack of a better PC term) stop with 40-50hr a week garbage. When do you expect your new intern/account manager/CPA/PR Rep/Quality Control/Facebook Account Manager to sleep and work another full time job at Starbucks so they can meet the monthly expenses of living in NYC while also being your indentured servant.

* Location: Cheapskates
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: The honor of helping to put money in my pocket

Who doesn't agree w/this out of control use of "interns" in business? This is why I only worked w/people who had real contacts in this business & real plans to move forward. I'm fortunate in not having to work w/newbies & chose to seek out people who knew more than me on purpose. You learn a lot from people who have been in the industry longer & treat the entertainment field as a serious calling instead of something they goof around at once in a while.

Since I'm never going to know everything, I make very careful assessments on who I'll deal with or who I work with. As a life rule, I & most people in the business won't work with total newbies unless that person has some real potential. I'm not speaking of helping people get internships or opportunities that might help them; I'm saying don't work for them until they know what they're doing & aren't newbies anymore.

I encountered my very first industry moron. Why do I say that this person is a moron (at least unless this person offers some serious mea culpa)?

A) Person posted an ad for an internship in a talent management company. I interned w/an agent who's been in the business for a VERY LONG time. That agent's name is so well known that people outside the entertainment industry have heard of it. Anyone in the business usually has some type of reaction at hearing the name.

B) I took a look at this person's website. No listing of major companies the company has worked with & the company has been around maybe about a year longer than I've worked in the business. I'd also never heard of any of their posted clients, not even recognized headshots from my earlier internship or knew anyone through my other jobs.

C) This ad didn't say "no phone calls," though many ad posters listing that (even at a law firm, the patron saint of following rules) told me they appreciated me calling when I asked about jobs that I'm overqualified for since my qualifications are so unusual.

D) So based on the reactions I usually get & my better chances at not being ignored on the phone, I called this guy up thinking that a sane business person would prefer dealing w/someone who doesn't have to be trained, can provide references & comes w/a law license on the cheap. The business people I've met in the entertainment industry would jump at such a chance and pay someone w/those credentials very well if they have the $.

How does this guy react??? Basically, in a manner that will certify his doom if he's doing it to every potential client & source of work (did mention the other things I did & any sane manager/agent doesn't go around pissing off people who have projects or have the authority to make sure they won't be working for a particular company).

* This guy was class-A rude. Didn't have any reaction to my mention of interning w/this well known agent. My take being if he's not heard of that agency, he can't be that sharp.

* Claims that regardless of my advanced credentials & so forth, everyone was starting as an intern. Funny, b/c anyone doing stuff like that will usually consider talking to the references or making any unpaid periods very short due to someone having more skills.

* When I asked about that, his response was "you should have just sent an e-mail like the ad said." I pointed out that my credentials are too uncommon to do that & I'd get ignored if I didn't call people. He claimed he was "in transit" at the time.

Now, I went ahead & sent my e-mail that I'd written before getting through on this call. I gently pointed out a few truths:

A) It's an insult to someone w/advanced skills & anyone who worked w/them if you demand the person go through an internship period w/you.

B) No one is going to put an unpaid internship ahead of unpaid executive/managerial/producer level work.

C) I operate just like anyone else in the business, including telling others of my experience.

D) Trained people are cheaper for a business than interns & someone w/advanced skills deserves to have them count for something instead of being treated just like a recent college grad or someone w/no experience at all.

E) People w/more skills aren't sharing those w/you for free. I proposed a modest salary to be discussed, not a lawyer rate or six figures.

If I hear nothing by the end of the week, I'll have to publicly name this guy just as a service to all my industry peeps.

No one needs to deal w/someone who is clearly an incompetent, has no respect for staff members and thinks he can go around insulting entertainment attorneys. If he's insulting attorneys who could provide business, imagine how he'd treat anyone else.

There's a time to let things slide & there's a time to stand up for yourself. I felt this was a time to stand up for myself & I'd be hard pressed to find anyone willing to deal w/this guy based on the impression I got.

Guess what? You have to be on at all times when it comes to clients and business development stuff. Would you talk like that to a potential investor? Not being "on" or giving off attitude just screws you out of potential opportunities.

The agent I interned with once told me a story about a writer who was trying to get investors for a project & had a meeting w/one in her office. She said the writer said something derogatory about investors & the potential investor who came in immediately walked out, never to return.

By the way, the writer wasn't aware that the person who came in was a potential investor.

Some Witty & Funny Craig's List Ads

I hope they don't take this one off Craig's List before you see it b/c this one's just too funny for me to ignore. I couldn't copy the flyer image so I have to post the link.

This one also has a charm to it that I like. Calling out leeches & freeloaders is definitely something I support.

Look below!!

Skilled Intern? (New York)
Date: 2010-05-06, 1:52PM EDT
Reply to: see below

An intern - by definition - is someone with no, or very few, skills. If you advertise for an 'intern' with a long list of highly technical skills and/or equipment, what you advertise for is truly slave-labor. Experience with your company is nearly useless on any resume - just look at all the resumes for actual jobs floating around out there at this very moment with tons of actual references and employment experience that get passed on every minute.

The bottom line is that one should never solicit something for nothing. Why? Because it is the wrong thing to do.

* Location: New York
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: Fair Pay For Services Rendered!!!

Now This is a NEW Low...

PARALEGAL INTERN (Northport)
Date: 2010-04-21, 10:32AM EDT
Reply to: job-btbzs-1702755576@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Part-time paralegal intern wanted. Must be able to work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 9 a.m. to 12 noon. Additional hours may be available. Must be proficient in MS Word. Office is in Northport. Please send resume and best time to call you.

* Location: Northport
* Compensation: Intern
* This is a part-time job.
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1702755576


Okay, what skills would one possibly need to know in order to become a paralegal instead of a "paralegal intern?" I worked as a referral paralegal after graduating from college & most of the people working w/me didn't have college degrees. Yet they did their jobs well & had years of experience.

I'll give this employer one thing: they're not asking for paralegal hours or "part-time" in lawyer land, which is full-time everywhere else. Give me a break, though. Unless your law firm is currently representing big name celebrities or has been in the press so much it's acquired it's own brand recognition, no job in any law firm is so damn SPECIAL that ANYONE should be working as an "intern." I think if any industry doesn't qualify as being sought-after, there's no business for it to offer up internships like they were pieces of candy.

I hope young people eventually revolt & tell these employers where to shove their "internships."

So Many Rants, So Little Time

That's how I feel at times b/c I always bookmark interesting articles that I have an opinion on but then times passes, other stuff goes down & I don't have time to address my points.

So maybe I can just post links & mention my general comments before talking about life stuff:

I covered this before on my post detailing my general thoughts on working for anyone other than yourself. Sorry, but any job that doesn't already have a culture of internships can't magically create it in a bad economy. All they can do is increase young people's hatred of those industries.

I hate these ads as well. Love how the pro-lifers want to act like every child is born to a good household & to fit parents, especially the ones who freak out at the idea of gay people adopting kids. We're not stupid & I saw the obvious pro-life bend the first time I saw one of these ads. Don't debate me on this one unless you're ready for a Julia Sugarbaker style tirade.

This is the Milgram experiment. For those who weren't psych majors in college, read up on it. Great stuff.

For this & this, I'll just repeat the basic sentiment I expressed in an earlier post. From my perspective, no employer wants you to be yourself & just wants you to be some robot. I have no clue why some of these people haven't just phased out human employees & replaced them w/robots like in that "Twilight Zone" episode. Believe me, I know people are not being honest or sincere in job interviews & really hate "dog & pony shows" anywhere; they're a waste of time.

Wow, something uplifting. Good luck to this guy & if more people followed his example, perhaps looking to local causes this world would be a far better place.

This pissed me off today & ensured I wouldn't vote for this guy in any future elections. I don't consider gay marriage any kind of threat to my own marriage or my straightness. Nor do I feel any compulsion to push my own religious views onto other people who don't follow suit. If I haven't sufficiently ranted on this topic, I will do so in the future.

Now, onto real life. I finally got the time to start really pursuing things w/this former employer who is still living in a delusion. Apparently, other people are also living in that state; too bad for them when reality hits & they can no longer work in this industry b/c their word means nothing.

Oh yes, and when a lawyer tells you to pay up & states their terms, it doesn't help you to start making things up and telling them what to do. When YOU owe something, you don't call the shots. It especially doesn't help when you KNOW the person is going to do what they want anyway & your word means nothing to him/her.

Apparently this guy has now become MIA & may be trying to skip town since other traces of him have disappeared from the Internet, he's blocked people's e-mail & apparently doesn't pick up the phone. Nor does his so-called "lawyer," who is licensed but a bigger newbie than me. Guess you'd need to be a newbie or horribly stupid to represent someone who's not going to pay you & probably costs you $ to deal with; I won't touch anything from now on w/out a minimum retainer so I can recover unpaid amounts.

Lawyers also have tricks up their sleeves & some of us are downright evil when it comes down to it. I consider myself evil only when I'm provoked in some way. Considering all I've gone through in life, it's a wonder I haven't gone out & done something sinister to these deadbeats who owe me money. Hint: having my career & things go well for me is my saving grace.

My basic philosophy is that when you leave intelligent people w/out any method to rise from their circumstances, you create future serial killers & master criminals. Society needs to use smart people for good things & let them get to that regardless of what family they were born to. Had I not had a way to move up, I'd either be dead or in jail right now since I wouldn't have any reason to care about aspiring to anything. How many people are being abused by employers & wasted in lower-level jobs? How many are taking it out on the company in some way?

Unlike most people, I don't have snobbery about job titles or treat someone like crap b/c of their title. I might be a hard-ass but I'm not a moron & think I know potential in the non-creative realm I deal w/when I see it. Guess it comes from my family members having lower level jobs, my husband doing custodial work & my working w/paralegals at a law firm job back in the day.

If I ever forget my humanity, I've told people to remind me & use force if they have to so I won't be a stereotypical executive.

Internships, Internships Everywhere

Now, I work in a business where people generally start out by having internships. Most of them are unpaid. Some people wail & moan about this in the entertainment business.

BUT....consider these facts:

1. TONS of people want to work in the entertainment field.
2. There aren't enough jobs for that kind of demand.
3. No entertainment internship I've ever known of required someone to work even 30 hours a week. Most have a 10 hour minimum.
4. All the entertainment internships I've known of had flexible hours + would adjust one's schedule around that person's paid employment.
5. Everyone I've ever worked with knew that paid work came first & respected it.
6. You can wear whatever you want w/in the basic bounds of taste & cleanliness. No business suits or business casual wear necessary.
7. Finally, everyone I've known who's had an internship in NYC in the past few years was treated w/respect.

Since the downturn of the economy, it seems EVERY SINGLE industry on the planet (at least the ones I'd see Craig's List ads for) is offering an internship. Law firms, legal recruiting offices. I just saw an ad today for an intern for a "wedding officiant."

Now, why does this bother me? Let's consider law firms hiring lawyers as "interns."

1. To become a lawyer, you have to spend a LOT (and I do mean a LOT) of money. It costs money to go to school, take bar review courses, take the bar exam, send in paperwork to the character & fitness committee, take mandatory CLE courses, pay dues & in some states, the "attorney occupation tax." In CT, this tax was recently raised from $450 a year to $565.
It doesn't matter if you don't have the money for this stuff or didn't make enough to pay for it. There's largely NO FINANCIAL AID in schools if you are poor so you either have to take out lots of $ in loans or become a drug dealer/stripper/hooker/illegal occupation of choice that pays a lot of $ in a short time. Six-figure debt is the norm.
And when/if you are admitted, you're paying a lot of $ JUST to stay admitted. Let's just say when it comes to dues or the attorney occupation tax, the states are the Mafia; to quote a line in Casino, it's "Fuck you, pay me!"
2. Business suits aren't cheap. Many of these law firms require their lawyers to wear them & even if they don't, suits are mandatory in court. This is at least $100 PER SUIT. If you're hard to fit, suits are even more expensive.
3. Part time hours for a law firm are FULL time hours for everyone else (40 hours a week).
4. Some lawyers DO have internships from law school & prior law firm work on their resumes. I did; in fact, I left a job in a law firm to attend law school.

So after you've gotten into six figure loan debt, you now have nothing but unpaid "internships" if you're just starting out?!?!?!??!?!?! If you fit #4, there's no reason you should be taking unpaid internships; it's a waste of time. Knowing the law firm culture, I don't see them accommodating to paid employment, having minimal hours or letting interns wear anything they want. In fact, I know of a story where some law firm partner got mad b/c one of the support staff was moonlighting as a waitress. Had that been me, my response would be "Give me a raise or keep your nose out of my private business."

Why, oh WHY, would any lawyer take an unpaid "internship?" What law firm is stupid enough to think a lawyer would do that? The one that really took the cake for me was one firm offering an unpaid internship for 3 MONTHS. Then, they offer the whopping salary of $25K a YEAR after that period of non-payment. Whoopee, I made that salary BEFORE going to law school; why would I give a damn about it at some private firm in Manhattan? This wasn't even a public interest job & it was in Manhattan. If you can afford office space in Manhattan, you can afford to pay a LAWYER, all right?

As for the wedding officiant intern, you DO know that any knucklehead can get licensed as one for far less than $100, right? You don't have to be a minister & you don't need special training.

Yep, I've told some of these people off & they deserved it. Quit w/the blatant cheapskate attitude & maybe you'd get some quality workers who LIKED working for you.