Friday, December 28, 2012

Using Credit Scores to Find "the One": Are You a Fucking Idiot or a Classist Asshole?!

Does anyone remember that commercial from a few years back? The one with the little song that goes:

Well, I married my dream girl
I married my dream girl...

and then talks about how they're living in his parent's basement because of her low credit score.

I was pissed off the first time I saw that commercial. I thought "Shallow asshole! How do you know she didn't have some legitimate situation causing it? Go fuck yourself."

So then I came across this story where the woman profiled was on a first date with a man who openly asks her "What's your credit score?" He proceeds to tell her that having a low credit score is a deal-breaker for him.

Time to enlighten some elitist assholes on how credit scores actually work:

1. Unless you're in a community property state, you don't marry other people's debt. Separate debt is the same thing as separate assets. Don't cosign for things & you won't have any problems.

2. We have a little concept calling renting & buying property using one person's record. You don't have to get a house or an apartment in your spouse's name if his/her credit is bad. There's no law requiring married couples to put everything in both their names, including bank accounts.

I refused to combine finances because of my father's habit of pulling money without telling my mother or documenting it in their checking account.

3. Student loan debts are ONLY the responsibility of the student who got them & anyone who cosigned for them. You didn't cosign for them? Then shut the fuck up about anyone's loans.

If your spouse dies and there's no cosigner to go after, the student loan lenders are out of luck. They can collect from the dead person's estate but if there's nothing there, they can't touch you living spouse.

Since my husband cosigned some of mine, I have life insurance to cover it so they won't bother him if anything happens to me before they can be paid off.

I find this practice totally deplorable (we'll get to why in a moment) but if you're going to demand someone to have perfect credit to marry or maybe even give you oral sex, at least know the damn laws & how they work. Be educated on the basics of how credit works & what responsibilities spouses do & do not have!

Here's why I think asking for credit scores or to see credit reports is a very shitty idea:

1. Identity theft. It does happen & it's very hard to get erroneous charges taken off your report. What if some illegal stole the person's social security number? You know enforcement of any of this shit is currently a pipe dream. Ask the people who've been through it. Their stories are everywhere.

I also wish someone would steal YOUR identity & not just mutilate your credit but make it so bad, you wouldn't get relief unless you staged your own death.

2. Classism. Being a lawyer who didn't come from some mega-millionaire family or have a trust fund, I have serious student loan debt. So do many other lawyers along with plenty of doctors, dentists and other professionals. Plenty of us couldn't pay six figures up front to go to school but had some aptitude to make it through & get our licenses.

Excuse the fuck out of me for not being born to money!!! That would be my response if you asked for my credit report/score, after I called you a classist asshole & went on a huge tirade about how you've violated my trust along with not bothering to listen when I talked about my upbringing and the resulting lack of trust in most people.

I'd probably also ask when you're going to present me with the pre-nup and you'd pretty much be looking at never getting to do anything remotely sexual with me again if you had before that point (that would be worse since then you'd have come at me with that from left field since I'd have never slept with someone I thought for a minute would ask me that).

I think I'd be mad enough to castrate that guy with my bare hands like that one woman did.

According to this reasoning I & every other person who came from a lower middle class background should have just not bothered getting an education and just become knocked up at 16. We shouldn't have bothered with getting good grades, leaving our hometowns or doing anything other than reliving a life we had no interest in. I think it's better for society at large that I'm doing what I do now instead of being another mother living in a trailer park, struggling from day to day & hating every moment of my existence. I would have turned that rage outward & people would have gotten hurt physically.

Lucky for everyone, I figured I could do better than that & actually did.

Yeah, telling that to someone from a background like mine will really endear you to that person. Except it will just create hatred (in my case, immense hatred). That's the sort of thing that gets you on people's death lists.

Even the Career Services rep I spoke to in law school backed off after learning I was the first in my entire family (including extended & in-laws) to go to law school & the first in my immediate family to have a college degree! If some guy can't & asks this shit, he'd sure better not whine to me about his dating problems or lack of eligible women for him.

3. Credit reports tell you nothing about things that really matter. Look at all those Wall Street execs who stole money from people. I'll bet you their credit scores were wonderful & they had spotless financial records. Bernie Madoff probably had spectacular credit.

How do you know the person with a great credit score isn't just good at cooking books? What if that person is making drugs like Walter White or actually part of organized crime? A good criminal will be covering his/her ass all the time. Do you honestly think that if they want a rich/good credit significant other that they can't manipulate records to make that happen?

Yeah, that shining credit score will do you wonders when your significant other is in prison or has to pay a ton of money in restitution because you didn't bother to consider things like character, ethics, moral codes, etc. If you watch Breaking Bad, you know even a criminal background check wouldn't help you in screening out that kind of person. Gus was considered a model citizen & Walter was the average guy who won big by gambling and used the money to get a business.

4. Shitty Life Circumstances. Judging people based on their medical health, getting out of a bad relationship or having to run up their credit card bill to keep food on the table (more classism) makes you the lowest of the low. You invite karmic justice on yourself for doing that.

What if some girl you met had been in a domestic violence situation? Way to empower her or encourage her to date again by telling her that because she left her abuser (who more likely had more money than her) & suffered a hit to her credit, that you deem her unworthy of a date! That's a whole cultural failing I won't even touch right now but I think a rational person can see where I'm going with this one.

Wouldn't you wish for the judger to get cancer or die already? I'd have to. "Being the better person," my butt! I didn't sign on to do that so I'll wish death on people if I want to.

If gay people are the same way with potential dates, it makes you want to just get one of those interactive sex dolls & tell every human being on the planet to take a hike. After all, they won't talk back & can't get pregnant.

Now I do happen to manage my money & for those whiny brats who say "But everyone breaks up over MONEY!!" and "Only someone with a bad score would say that," here's my response:

Look at how the person manages money from month to month. Do they constantly have to beg, borrow & cheat to pay their basic bills? Are they asking you for money early on?

Have they suffered a major crisis recently (maybe you should look at the person's normal circumstances vs. having to live off unemployment or recently having it run out)?

How are the bills that they can actually manage to pay (food, utilities, other basics) vs. the ones that are ridiculously burdensome like student loan debt? Are you going to dump some public interest attorney because (s)he doesn't have 3 grand a month to pay student loan debts & the interest?

Some people got private loans as part of their student loan debt & the policy of private student loan lenders is "Fuck you, pay me," when it comes to getting a forbearance or deferment once your sometimes very limited time runs out on them.

I also despise this high & mighty attitude I've read about people with high credit scores telling those with lower ones that they have to fix them or they won't marry them.

First off, Princess Grace you sure aren't perfect! For one thing, you are a bitch for telling someone that or daring to make such a demand. You also have zero clue of what marriage is about. You shouldn't even bother with "for better or for worse" in your vows since you only want some millionaire. Why don't you just slut it up for some guy with a higher credit score?

Oh, but he's probably married to someone with some character & wouldn't give your gold-digging ass the time of day! Same for any men making those demands on women with lower scores. You aren't Prince Charming; you're just a fair weather jerkoff & someone like me would never give you the time of day.

Second, a good relationship is not about trying to change people. If you're a saver who loves a spendthrift, you can either accept this person & not let them be in charge of the finances or move on & find a saver (I found a saver & a guy I didn't feel any urge to change).

No one can claim to love you if they're making ultimatums like that on you.

Third, a good relationship is about being supportive of someone. The person with the low score would be better off with any random person of their sexual preference that they bumped into during rush hour on the subway. The higher score person totally sounds like a wolf who'd turn on you in a second; why bother with that shit?

Basing someone's character, chemistry with you & ability to be in your corner on their credit score guarantees you will be alone for a long time if not forever (maybe you can find another shallow asshole who deserves to die).

I also think you deserve everything you get & want you to suffer so horribly, your condition makes my family look like millionaires. I'll then laugh, point & smile with a sense of self-satisfaction at karma working out without me having to get involved.

You might want to consider whether someone's going to have your back if something bad happened to you since life usually isn't smooth sailing, even for rich people. Finally, when you die your fate isn't determined by what your credit score was. It's determined by how you treated others in this life.

So remember that when you're suffering eternal punishment after you die, your high credit score will be worthless.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Two Types of People That Should Be Protected: The Attractive & The Childfree

Yes, maybe in part I'm saying that since I fit into both categories but the real trigger for protecting attractive people is this story. Apparently, I'd have to be a stripper, work in sales or shave my head if I lived in Iowa since I'd never be able to get any legitimate source of income there.

Who doesn't see some old law firm partner saying similar things to a female associate? I could totally see some associate getting let go from jobs because some partner's wife is an ugly old hag who refuses to do anything about her own marriage or take any personal responsibility. Same for that law partner thinking with the little head instead of the big one he should be using (your brain).

Labor laws aside (which frankly scream sexism to me in this instance & justifying rape against "attractive" women), let's consider the wide ranging impact of such a ruling. If everyone's got free range to do it, where are the attractive people going to work? Are they ALL supposed to move to Hollywood or New York? What if that person doesn't want to be an actress or can't sell things to save his/her life?

Gorgeous doesn't mean DUMB, chuckleheads! Some of us have brain cells in our heads. Some of us have skills. And some of us don't fucking appreciate the slut shaming that's already going on if we dare to show the slightest bit of cleavage or leg if we go out in the evening! We don't know how this woman dressed & as far as anyone knows, she wore business clothing. After all, she worked there for 10 years! If she was dressing like a stripper, I'm pretty sure she'd have been gone in a few months. I didn't read anything about patient complaints about this woman's attire.

This guy also fired this woman at the advice of his pastor AFTER making nasty remarks to her in the workplace. If you told me about my making your pants bulge at work, I'd have to cut off that bulge or threaten to do so in a very vicious manner. I'm sure if I did, you'd not do it again. Rest assured my husband would handle it if some guy said that to me socially, not even in the workplace. Once I get to play my prostitute role (now slated for closer to October), my husband said he's going to hurt any man that acts inappropriately or makes nasty remarks about my attire while I'm doing that show.

Oh, and my husband is not some jealous harpy who'd tell me to fire some guy from my company if he was attractive. He'd never say to me "You have to fire that actor since he's too good looking." If he did, I'd say "Tough shit! You married me, you know I work in the entertainment industry & that actors generally have to be good looking. You've been with me the entire time I've worked in this industry so get over yourself & stop trying to sabotage my career because of your lack of self-esteem."

Did this pastor not think that God gave this woman her looks (which according to some commenters on this story in various places, she's not exactly going to be busting down the doors in Hollywood)? And what about personal responsibility? Why did he not tell this man to keep it in his damn pants? Does he put the moves on the "attractive" patients? I mean, is he holding back daily from raping women he passes walking down the street or driving in the car? Is it women's responsibility to wear burkas everywhere? Are you in Iowa or Afghanistan?

How about telling this bitch wife to do her part in this marriage? You know, have sexual relations with her husband, try new things in bed, talk about things other than the kids, your house, etc.? Or maybe not clinging to this man for dear life & developing some outside interests?

I'm married & as my mother famously told my sister "No one can 'steal' a man from you." That man makes his own choice if he picks some other chick over you. No one's controlling his mind, except maybe his own penis. Whose fault is that? Certainly not some attractive woman! I would never blame someone else for MY failings or frigidness. That's the ultimate in immaturity, laziness & low self-esteem.

Does this jealous harpy also tell her neighbors, fellow church goers or any other woman in town how to dress or throw blankets on them when her husband walks by? I would smack someone like that in the face for telling me, a grown woman, how to dress.

Is this court saying that not only am I castigated to particular occupations but that if I got raped in their state, it couldn't be the fault of the rapist since I'm "attractive?" You have to wonder what attractive female attorneys in the state think of this ruling. I'm sure they'll have their jobs threatened pretty soon since those law partners will say "Well, the Iowa Supreme Court said I could fire you."

I also like that people asked just where the standard of attractiveness lies. Even obese women may not be safe since beauty is in the eye of the beholder & some guys have fetishes for that as well as many other things. Are we women now having to make sure some guy who owns a business doesn't have a fetish for whatever we have like red hair or body fat or butts?

So, Melissa Nelson, I hope you make this fucker James Knight (who is probably one of the biggest religious hypocrites out there since Christian love is NOT blaming other people for your hormones & sentencing them/their families to the unemployment line) pay & pay big. Maybe you should consider a move to New York City or Los Angeles while you're at it along with all the attractive women in Iowa.

I also think this James Knight should lose his medical license since how do we know he's not tried taking advantage of attractive female patients while they were sedated.

Does his wife screen the patients coming in? I mean, what would you ask & how the hell would you ask about attractiveness? Some people think natural redheads are ugly. When I was growing up in NC, my male classmates though I was a dog & a good 97% of them would have laughed if you'd proposed they go out on a date with me.

I do hope that bitch wife is haunted by this & it would serve her right if that family ended up on the street because of her being an immature cunt. Yes, I said the word "cunt!" I call things & people what they are; it's a cunt thing to do to sentence a good employee to the unemployment line with no good reference & not giving them a fair severance package that covers today's realities of months going into years of unemployment.

Wouldn't it also be a scream if this guy's wife became hated by all the men in the state if the attractive women in Iowa did, in fact, leave & move elsewhere so they could get viable employment without having to wear burkas or 80's church lady dresses?

So you know what? Attractiveness should be a protected class or at least included in labor law for things that don't involve acting or modeling. Jobs where your looks are irrelevant to your ability to perform the work. You can't be a good popular girl on TV if you're a 400 pound, acne ridden actor. That's not true for an assistant or even some sales people. You can't sell chocolate or weight loss products looking that way but you could be good at selling investment packages or insurance. Being a lawyer is irrelevant to your looks & why should people be punished for getting the lottery in the looks department?

Why should I have to get fat or make myself look ugly because YOU are an ugly person on the inside & lack any self-confidence? YOU should fucking change! In fact, I'll insist on it since I can't control my looks like you can control your behavior & attitude.

Better yet, maybe you can try being friends with the attractive women. If you weren't an ass to them, then maybe they could teach you a thing or two about self-confidence. For all you know, they weren't Homecoming Queen in high school either. Not all pretty women are adulterers or lack morals & you sure aren't endearing yourself to me or anyone else who's seen by society as pretty when you cut us down.

Oh, and do you know how often I used my looks to get where I am? Take a guess. Zero. Read that again if you're a jealous, harpy bitch or believe having looks gives you some special superpower: Z-E-R-O!!! No one gave me good grades on my looks since I wasn't seen as pretty when I was going to school. No teachers or professors acted inappropriately to me. I didn't show my underwear or do skanky stuff to get attention. I was stuck in the "I'm not pretty" mentality & never got attention from my male classmates so can't be that hard to believe I wouldn't think to do that. As far as I'm concerned, school & work are separate from your home life & your social life. I'd have felt dirty mixing those realms & also had no instructors I entertained such thoughts about.

Getting out of the "I'm not pretty" mentality & being skeptical when someone complimented my looks took a long time along with many different events in my life, not just one.

So take that & shove it in your collective rear ends, frigid bitches who can't be bothered to satisfy their boyfriends & spouses!!! Maybe you should get lives & new, more constructive hobbies.

Now for why we should include childfree people as a protected class. Let me tell you right now that if you aren't childfree or don't know anyone who is, you don't get it & you aren't going to. Here's an explanation for you on what childfree people go through:

1. Bosses tend to make childfree people work weekends & holidays since the parents must come first at all times (at least, for these types of bosses). Childfree people don't get to take leaves or as much vacation while certain parents act like they are entitled to take any time off they want while getting the same privileges, pay & positions. Certainly not all parents & bosses but it's enough to be a problem.

2. If you are childfree (especially if you're female), you are immediately subjected to people (oftentimes women with children) asking why you don't have kids, making nasty & insulting comments about how your spouse isn't the one since "What if you find your soulmate & he wants kids?" and trying to sell you on having a baby like they are trying to sell the old abandoned house in the bad part of Long Island City or they'll get fired tomorrow & immediately have to live on the streets.

Guess how quickly that pisses off the childfree? If you can ask about kids & listen while the childfree person talks about nieces & nephews while not diminishing the role of Auntie/Uncle or just not try to change the person's mind about it, then you're fine. I don't think not wanting to be subjected to a birth sermon is a demand for political correctness in society.

Just a few days ago, I was eating in a diner and overheard this male server talking to this older group of people & saying "You can't be married & not have kids." Had he said this to me personally, I'd have shot something back but since it wasn't said to me I left it alone. I thought "Oh, yes you can! I'm childfree & this woman is NOT under any circumstances having kids. How do you like that one?"

3. God help you if someone near you gets pregnant, especially if that woman is your boss. When I hear about a female friend or acquaintance's pregnancy, part of me always worries about if this person will remain the same after the baby is born. One of my sorority sisters had a child & totally changed as a person. It was like her old personality vanished & she became Mrs. Mommy. I don't talk to this person anymore. Now I'm quite publicly childfree so anyone with half a brain knows you don't make certain remarks to me if you want me to continue speaking to you (particularly if you know about my essay), but what about those women who aren't?

Childfree people don't tend to talk to friends who give up their interests the minute a baby comes into the picture. Nor do they talk to people who expect them to treat that child as the center of the universe when they aren't the parents, godparents or a blood (or even marriage) relation. At least a kid who's related to me won't get to damage my property, interrupt my workday or be a brat toward me since those parents know that stuff wouldn't fly.

Imagine a boss like this. That boss would make life a living hell for any childfree women working there. There'd be constant disrespect aimed at you & forget about any advancement, no matter how great you were at your job.

Let's not even go into the bullshit paternalism from doctors who think they can tell women in their 20s & 30s what to do when it comes to their decisions to breed yet I see them doing nothing about raising the age of consent for contracts or curtailing adult rights & privileges for these people.

Gee, more reasons for me to do just what I'm doing now. At least you'll never get annexed from the entertainment field for being "too pretty." Maybe all the attractive & the childfree people should start businesses and refuse to serve the insecure bitches & child pushers. If you ask me, those are the people who should be punished in society instead of people who were blessed with something you don't have (we can include money if you want though I don't recall anyone getting fired because they have too much money or they came from money) or those choosing to live life their way instead of YOUR way.

Friday, December 21, 2012

How's The "End of the World" Treating You?

I knew it was BS the minute I heard about it & I'm sure those of you who read this blog felt the same. My religious upbringing says no one knows when the end of the world will happen. I'm very glad that no one I knew took it seriously. Heck, I'm going to a party this evening & have to start making a cake for it shortly.

In the meantime, as holidays are nearly here & I'll be mega-busy here's something you may find helpful. We all know I don't abide by criminals & nastiness to folk so here's how to keep yourself safe from scammers & other criminals (special thanks to Trisha Wiley):

Also, make sure to watch for the fake charities especially the ones springing up right after some tragedy. I heard a story just yesterday about someone creating a fake charity to exploit the shooting in Connecticut. Verify who you're giving to or better yet, start helping people in your own backyard. I'm sure you have some family member, friend or a member of the community facing hard times who might not even need money but would appreciate you buying a meal or some kind words. The fakes & people who use all the "donation" money to pay for fundraising efforts & Executive VP pay are why I am very selective in my giving efforts (which I've covered elsewhere). To me, why am I paying for your Executive VP or other high ranking exec to get a Mercedes or a mansion while I have six figure student loan debt to pay? Some people are in even worse shape & it's sick to expect them to finance that mess. Frankly, those groups can get bent.

To the charities/non-profits who aren't corrupt: I salute you & hope you keep doing the awesome work you do.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The Gun Rights/Control Post

Yes, I know you've eagerly awaited this one. Or maybe not. If you've regularly read this blog, you've already got a good idea of where I stand.

However, I've never done a full post on this & have had my Facebook feed overtaken by the anti-gun lobby with what feels like a million posts on how guns are the devil & we should seize all of them from everyone (though criminals won't turn theirs in or give a damn about the laws).

That whole tragedy in Connecticut did hit somewhat close to home. After all, I have a nephew who's elementary school aged & I'd murder anyone who even thought to cause that kid grief (though I think his parents & grandparents would have taken care of such problems long before I'd have to). I also went to law school in Connecticut, meaning I did live there for a few years. Never went to Newtown but I had heard of it.

Guns are one of those issues I side with conservatives on. No, I don't think every lunatic in town should be able to get one on demand. We can do without domestic abusers, serious rageaholics or schizophrenics having them. However, banning guns is NOT going to prevent a repeat of this situation. Let's repeat this for the "total ban" crowd (Lisa Simpson bitch on Facebook included): banning guns is not going to prevent future tragedies.

Oh, and don't you hate that the minute there's a massive shooting the anti-gun lobby crawls out & insists that human beings have no right to protect themselves, no one can go to a shooting range & hunters are the Antichrist? They also insist that the government is saintly, perfect & free of corruption. I want to smack them. In case you didn't notice, I don't take kindly to anyone trying to take my rights away & if you think I'm about to stand by and let you oppress me, you're dead wrong. We'll fight that to the bloody end if need be.

Why are gun bans a stupid idea? Let's break this down:

1. We live in a society with no adequate health care. If you have a mental illness, good luck getting viable coverage to see a quality therapist. Therapy costs money, many insurance plans only let you have a limited number of visits and there are some very shitty therapists out there. What if your insurance requires you to only see a crappy therapist while someone who could help you is out of your price range? What if you're not a student & have no way to get free mental health care?

Then, you're just like many of the homeless people begging for stuff except maybe you're not so poor that you don't have a place to live. If you are, that's where you're heading or already live.

Though I haven't had much direct experience on mental health care myself, I have heard it's a real problem.

2. Corporate America owns the media. Corporate America also outsourced the viable paying jobs & replaced them with crap work that will dehumanize you in a heartbeat.

They have also appointed the biggest butt kissers and experts in human demoralization to be managers and bosses vs. executives who are smart enough to realize that a happy workforce is a productive workforce. Some people are fortunate enough to have good bosses and supervisors (I'm not referring to that group; better yet, if you're a leader in Corporate America who fits this group why don't you reach out & see if you can't alleviate some of my cynicism on this point?) but many don't. You'd better be good enough to be top dog either for yourself or elsewhere or let's safely say you will be fucked sooner or later either in the next round of layoffs, outsourcing, dramatic pay decreases or in more work for less pay. Who benefits from the extra work? If you aren't getting credit for it, you sure aren't!

Work stress & having to deal with assholes who don't know what the hell they are doing or are just pricks in general leads to high stress. It leads to resentful, angry people. Those people take that out on everyone else like their families, friends, total strangers.

When you see stories about shootings & the like, do you think mainstream media is going to cover things about how guns SAVED someone from being a victim? And you always see that the mass murderer is a "goth" or "quiet" or "keeps to himself" (notice it's usually white guys; how many lone black guys have done this & gotten called "goths" afterwards?).

Corporate America also owns many of your "elected" officials. Many of these elected officials seem to think they are kings & queens instead of public servants. What standards of behavior do they have to comply with? Everyone freaks out more if they are cheating on a spouse than if they take a fortune in lobbyist money & make the FCC or the 1st Amendment worthless. Do you honestly think Corporate America wants their serfs to be able to have access to guns? Look at how the government treated minorities & what they couldn't do in the name of keeping THEM down! They couldn't learn to read, use drugs, own property, & the list goes on.

Maybe all the victims of shootings should just go after Corporate America for restitution. Perhaps they could sue Wal-Mart or some other companies out of existence for their role in the whole thing. I'm sure some enterprising & ballsy personal injury lawyer could come up with something.

Oh, and Corporate America decides what programs air on TV. Notice a rise in stupid reality shows & people being rewarded and encouraged to engage in rude, crude and outright distasteful behavior? I'm sure it's all part of the master plan. Not to mention airing all of what a friend of mine called "tragedy porn" over & over again. Way to encourage copycats! They probably think, "Hey, I'm a nobody who can't win friends or any pro-social societal achievements. I'll get famous for being bad!" There's reporting & there's exploitation. Don't waste your time with mainstream media in the US unless you want propaganda & exploitation. Go online or read the news from some foreign country where media isn't completely corrupt.

3. To get back to the rise in reality shows that make people dumber, let's also talk about lack of support networks. How are YOU treating the kids who are bullied or are "different?" Are you joining in the teasing? Did you bother to get to know anyone or did you prejudge them?

It's time a lot of people examined their behavior toward others. Maybe not being a closed-minded prick would improve things, especially in your own life. Take it from someone who was bullied. How about social support networks that actually work in being confidential, dealing with delicate issues and listening to people who are facing hard times so they don't think it's a good idea to start shooting folk who didn't do anything to them (shooting little kids is about as low as it gets save some super bratty demon spawn who murdered your child & bragged about it or something as grizzly)? Oh, but the government always cuts domestic programs first while keeping taxes low on the rich people!

4. You think the government is perfect? NYPD & the Occupy protests. How many documented cases of abuse & corruption have been out there against the NYPD? What about Emperor Bloomberg? Do you really think MORE leaders need to be that emboldened to act like tyrants?

If you do, you are too dumb to have freedom. In fact, you need to just turn over all your personal property, go get a government issued microchip implanted into your body & when the officer tells you to give him a blow job, you do it without question or complaint even if it's a routine traffic stop.

I notice none of these points being addressed by the anti-gun crowd. Instead they shriek "Get rid of guns NOW!!!" I also pointed out to some of these folks that NYC's draconian gun laws didn't do squat to protect anyone at the Empire State building shooting. Plus, Connecticut is NOT Texas when it comes to access to guns.

What effect could/will NYC's gun laws have on me? Someone I know had the nerve to ask why I should be able to have a handgun. I responded that he knew nothing about the required character & fitness exam to become a lawyer in the first place nor the continuing ethics rules lawyers have to obey if they want to keep their licenses.

1. I have the choice to violate attorney ethics rules by getting a gun illegally or being forbidden to have one at all regardless of the particulars of my career or the fact that I'm licensed to practice in 2 states with very oppressive gun laws.

2. I have to wait for some stalker, disgruntled client or other hater to attack & possibly kill me instead of having any kind of precaution to protect myself as I go about my daily life, make a living and get a larger public profile. Remember, threats aren't uncommon if you work in the entertainment industry. The higher up you are, the more likely those threats can become reality.

Even if you aren't high profile, that doesn't mean you can't be harmed. Just ask women who've been the victims of stalking & domestic violence. They weren't all famous.

Why should I or anyone else be denied the right to make a living without having to become a victim? I shouldn't have to wait around for law enforcement to feel like helping me or some MTA employee to feel like calling 911 if I'm attacked & raped in the subway like that one woman was.

Until Bloomberg or some young daughter of his gets raped in the subway & no one helps him/her, he can keep his mouth shut when it comes to the personal safety of young women.

If you are a NYC attorney who doesn't have prior law enforcement or military experience & has a gun license, let me know. I would never need to use one unless it was at a shooting range or some Bernard Goetz situation in my home or elsewhere (without the racial prejudice angle) but I think I have every right not to be harassed or endure unwanted touching. So does everyone else. I do have some self-control & a moral compass. Just because I can see where a person might lash out & the circumstances that can cause it doesn't mean I plan to do it myself. My life is actually going well right now.

As I've said a million times, when people have things to believe in and aspire to they aren't going to be worried about committing mass murder. That's another big problem these anti-gun folks haven't addressed: all the damn dream killing. Telling kids they're stuck going to State U with the same assholes who bothered them in high school & living in the same town forever in the name of not having debt is not helping anyone who isn't part of the Shiny Happy People Club. That prospect will just depress them & make them not care about anything. I hated my hometown & couldn't get out quick enough. Don't you know most of our greatest minds & awesome folk aren't the people who would have won popularity contests in high school? Especially in the entertainment game.

So, here's why gun banning is total shit:

1. Criminals don't follow laws. Tons of crimes have happened in NYC involving guns. How are those anti-gun laws working for you?

2. You invite criminals to attack people. How many mass murderers have taken place in areas that weren't gun free zones or where there was a great likelihood the citizenry would have guns on them to stop the fucker? Only a fucking coward would do a shooting in a gun free zone.

Go plan one in a heavily armed area; society dares you! Or pick better targets like child molesting priests, corrupt officials & others who are a cancer on our society vs. little kids who did nothing to you. You never hear about mass murders against pimps of underage prostitutes or child molesters.

Maybe it's just my belief that if you're going to do something like that, make it a real challenge & do it right instead of being some weak-willed dolt. Any idiot can go attack a bunch of sitting ducks.

3. Government is brimming with corruption already. Do we need to encourage more of it & take away even more checks from it? Look at what happened to some of the people accused of it in the NYPD. I know some of them still have their jobs. Power corrupts & there's no way anyone should be handing over their 2nd amendment rights unless they're also going to be getting that government microchip installed. If you aren't, you can shut up since you just lost the argument.

4. Mental illness doesn't vanish when you take guns away. Nor does the motive to kill. That requires mental health treatment, effective support networks, killing the entitlement culture & some respect for human life. I also think there's too much touchy feely nonsense when it comes to human life. If you are an animal torturer, you don't deserve to live in my book. You don't get human rights when you rape someone, molest children, murder innocent people (now I'm talking if you're guilty vs. being falsely accused of it). Fuck you! As far I'm concerned, animals should be treated as such & if they're not fit to live in society should be taken out back and dealt with so they can't harm others.

Oh, and people WILL use other weapons. Is the "guns kill more people more easily" argument your endorsement of the idea that it's okay if a few people die from an attacker but not many? What about all deaths being bad, not just the ones you pick & choose (since most anti-gun folk are also anti-death penalty)?

5. You will never be 100% safe anywhere!!! That is life. Trying to create a zone of safety is stupid, a waste of time and just oppresses others. You want total safety? Die & go to Heaven. That's the only place where you'll be safe at all times.

Don't live in the illusion that nothing bad can ever happen to you. You could die in your own house. Should we just make everything out of foam because you are a pitiful moron I would never want as my police officer or serving me in the military? Go watch 1,000 Ways to Die since there are far more likely ways you're going to die than by the terrorists or some random pussy who couldn't carry out a mass shooting in an area where there'd be a real question of who would win.

Death is inevitable. We're all going to go someday; it makes no sense to live in fear or refuse to take risks. You'll have an eternity to reflect on it if you don't live a good life now. At least many of the adults in that shooting got to leave this world as heroes and can reflect on that instead of being wussy little babies like these cowards trying to ban everything in a knee jerk reaction without looking at all the elements or asking anyone who's had similar life circumstances what stopped them from doing the same thing or what might have triggered anyone else's actions.

Screenings for ownership? Yes! Training? Absolutely! If more people had training in the use of a gun, there might actually be more respect for them & their power.

I think people who already have professional licenses & ethics rules to deal with shouldn't be subjected to the same strictness as everyone else considering I can do serious damage as a lawyer as well. Doctors can certainly physically maim you if they screw up (surgeons especially). Lawyers can ruin your finances, your credit report and turn you into a homeless person; the really scummy ones could probably do worse. Pharmacists could also maim you by giving you the wrong drugs or a mix that kills you. If the state is trusting us not to do that stuff, we should get firearms as well. Look at the crazy meth heads hospital & pharmacy staffs have to deal with! Shouldn't they get some kind of defense against that?

Limiting certain types of guns? Talk to me about that when you stop the foreign gun trade, you've removed corruption from all branches of law enforcement & you've removed corruption from the government. When everyone's on equal footing, let's talk. Until then, as long as the purchase is registered and you're found liable if something happens while it's in your possession that's fine.

Restitution if your gun harms someone b/c your crazy son stole it? Certainly! I hope the families pursue this. They deserve it. This is part of basic fairness & personal accountability.

Some of my more conservative friends have also called for support on arming school teachers & administrators. I personally think that's a good idea. One friend wrote about this & a responder said she wouldn't trust her son's teacher with a gun due to mental issues.

Here's my take on that & the school stuff in general:

1. The absence of God is not why there are more school shootings. The lack of respect for teachers/adults and fellow students is a more likely culprit. I went to a Christian school for part of my education. God was certainly in the curriculum but that didn't stop me from being bullied or harassed by the boys in my class.

The presence of God didn't make anyone be a good person. Teaching some basic good citizenship/morals would, though. Bringing back corporal punishment might as well (at least for the principals & with a witness along with only letting someone of the same gender do the paddling). A little rational fear never hurt anyone. It's irrational fear you have to watch out for.

2. Speaking of bringing back respect, knowing one's teacher was armed might instill some better behavior in the brattier set. Might also instill some fear in deadbeat parents who think they can leave their child to the wolves when it comes to living in society with others. How many kids who are nasty to their teachers & parents act that way with armed police officers? I'd imagine not nearly as many.

3. If a teacher/aide/administrator can't pass the screening to carry a gun, maybe that person shouldn't be at that school to start with. Do you think it's a good idea to let domestic abusers, schizophrenics, people with borderline personality disorder or others who can't pass that screening be around children & mold young minds? I'd rather see the former porn stars & teachers who were secretly doing adult movies to pay bills in the classroom; if they can pass the screening to get a gun, why not?

A friend of mine said it was bad that we had that fear of teachers but let me tell you about some of the ones I encountered: one substitute was arrested for stealing band instruments. Another one made a very crude sexual remark about a friend of mine. There was the one who had sex with an 18 year old student on school property & got fired. There was also the sexist I had to rail against. No wonder my mother told us you had to earn respect & adults shouldn't get it just by virtue of being older. We were, however, told to respect our teachers unless they were doing stuff they shouldn't like being arbitrary, irrational, racist, or other stuff a good authority figure doesn't do. I also noticed he didn't say we were wrong.

I probably wouldn't have even written this post if I hadn't had the anti-gun lobby in my face when checking Facebook. I don't pay attention to mainstream media & have some critical thinking skills. That's something else gun bans don't do: give anyone critical thinking skills.

Please, for God's sake, get some critical thinking skills if you don't have any already. Otherwise we don't have to wait for Friday for the world to end; we're already doomed since the tyranny of stupid will kill us.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

What the Holy Fuck?!?!? Craig's List Ads, Part 5

I was going to do a rant on how I feel like a second class citizen and excluded from bar associations I'm supposed to be paying all these ungodly dues toward but it seems I already covered that 2 years ago. Go here to see it. Still accurate & still holds up.

I also do still feel like a second class citizen with all that so just assume I'm not going to spend $25+ on a ticket to an event my husband wouldn't be welcomed at and where I wouldn't have the best company to deal with (since I'd likely know very few of the attendees if any & would be shocked if any bothered being genuinely nice to me or interested in anything I did or cared about).

I think there should either be an option for far cheaper tickets for young attorneys (let's say $20 each or $30 for couples if your spouse is also young, works for the government on any level & is making less than $75K a year or is unemployed) or a severe reduction in the dues we're paying if we can't even go to these annual parties & bashes. If we're such "riffraff" to the higher ups in the way these ticket prices are set, then why should we have to finance those affairs?

I'm also in a very bad mood since an event I was planning apparently can never happen at the time I want since the association closes an hour before my event would need to start on that day. Nice of anyone to TELL me this!!! I had to call & find out myself.

I also found out that if you want a large event & it's not a CLE, you will get zero time to publicize it & could very well have your event sabotaged. Sorry but my circle lives in a different sphere, has busy schedules and needs some notice. I'm trying to respect their time & make things convenient for them. After all, THEY are the ones doing favors here! They have their own cred & reputation. Having them is a privilege. Having me bring folk in is a privilege.

My husband reminded me that I'm not getting paid to do this so I'm not beholden to anyone. I don't have to play political games or put up with BS.

On that note, here are some more disgusting and appalling Craig's List ads where the writers should have been shot, arrested, fined, something. Here goes:

Paid Writing Internship (Stamford)

Date: 2012-09-21, 7:53PM EDT [Errors when replying to ads?]

Great PAID internship opportunity for a Rockstar Writer in Waiting!
Are you a recent graduate who is waiting for the opportunity to hone his / her writing skills and be the next success story that every one in the publishing industry talks about? Professional writers with experience make great living working on advertisements, web content, direct mail pieces and much more! They enjoy unparalleled job satisfaction and career growth.

If you are the future rockstar writer, we are looking for you! This is a FULL TIME, PAID internship opportunity for someone who is up and coming in the industry. Initial position is for 3 months - successful internship will most likely result in a long term assignment. You will be required to work from the Stamford office at-least once a week.

Key requirements:
* Keen observation and analytical ability
* Creative brainstorming and idea generation
* Ability to listen and "pay attention"
* Research
* Ability to work full-time (30+ hours)

This is a PAID internship, NOT a JOB. This position will allow a student or recent graduate to continue to hone his / her skills while looking for their dream job.

In order for the most productive use of your time and our time, please read this ad again and understand what we are looking for. We are not looking for a run-of-the-mill, industry washout - we are looking for someone who wishes to be successful in the long term and is willing to do everything that it takes to achieve it!

Location: Stamford
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: Stipend

PostingID: 3238878018

Here was my response:

Full time internships are illegal under the state & federal labor laws. Not to mention this statement is a total lie:

"This is a PAID internship, NOT a JOB. This position will allow a student or recent graduate to continue to hone his / her skills while looking for their dream job."

You list this after listing, among your "Key requirements" that the person has the "* Ability to work full-time (30+ hours)"

Have YOU ever worked a full time job? Have YOU tried to job hunt in that time? When would your little "intern" be able to go on a job interview? Most offices do not do interviews on weekends. They also typically insist on an IN PERSON interview; how is your "intern" going to arrange that? Are you planning to give this person time off b/c this sure doesn't sound like a position where you're offering ANY schedule flexibility. Oh, and this intern will be at a total disadvantage to apply for anything while doing YOUR work & NOT getting to apply for jobs until God knows how many other people already send in THEIR resumes.

I'm also willing to bet the "stipend" you offer will be something that won't be a per hour or week wage but something the person gets at the end of the term since you seem that scummy. I'd also bet that you'd make up some arbitrary BS to deny the person the "stipend" since they didn't lick your boots well enough. Nor do I see a word about travel reimbursement for the person going to your offices.

Get your head out of your ass & join us in REAL LIFE. There is a law firm that handles shitheads like you who are trying to bring back indentured servitude. Stop being a cheap bastard & pay a professional worker instead of pretending that a FULL TIME intern is going to have ANY moment to find a REAL job that will have REAL prospects since you apparently offer none regardless of how well this person performs. Do you treat the rest of your staff that way?

Did you also notice that BS? If you did, congratulations. You have a brain. They seem to be in short supply these days. Plus, if you're going to pay someone & make them work full time you need to be a grown up and offer a damn job with a proper title. It's insulting to call someone an "intern" in this situation.

Elite Midtown Legal & Corporate Consulting Company Seeks Part Time Of (Midtown East)

Date: 2012-09-24, 10:43AM EDT [Errors when replying to ads?]

Elite Midtown Legal & Corporate Consulting Company Seeks
Part Time Office Assistant /Bookeeper Needed

Prominent, high-end, and successful Executive Career Coaching & Corporate Consulting services firm located in midtown, is a PART TIME Office Assistant with Bookeeping experience to help the growing team. The Office Assistant will be responsible for helping the founder organize and further expands its already extensive AmLaw 100 client base. The successful candidate must be very organized, personable, computer and internet savvy; preferably a former lawyer; paralegal, legal secretary or former legal recruiter.
We are seeking high motivated individual with excellent verbal and written communication and interpersonal skills.
Must be a fast learner and pay attention to details.
Strong multitasking and organizational skills.
Strong computer skills must be familiar with Word and Excel and QuickBooks.

This job is a part time position requiring about 15-20 hours per week. Requirements are as follows:
1) Excellent computer skills. There will be typing and constant emailing
3) Flexible hours. More than likely it will be 3 days x 5 hours or 4 days x 4 hours. No weekends.
- PHOTOSHOP (a plus)
- SEO (a plus)

- Part Time - approximately 3 days to start (about 18 hours - prefer 6 per day but no Fridays unless we have a special project), leading to full time in the future

Other Qualifications:
• Proficient Quickbooks, Microsoft Office, Outlook,
• Exceptional verbal and written communication skills
• Excellent interpersonal skills and customer service skills
• Ability to prioritize, work independently, self direct and complete tasks in a fast paced environment
• Accuracy and strong attention to detail

Responsibilities include:

• Organize database, client contact information, client files, and cultivate and maintain relationships with clients, vendors and suppliers by phone, email and letters
• Accounts receivable: prepare/send invoices to customers, prepare/send monthly statements, contact customers with past-due invoices to make payment arrangements
• Accounts payable: enter bills, obtain approval for payment, ensure timely payment, match invoices with payment
• Create and maintain client files
Create and maintain Outlook database of clients
• Perform clerical duties, maintain paper and electronic files, open/sort mail, archive records at year-end

Applicant should have knowledge and experience in legal industry. Please send cover letter and resume with salary history/requirements and references.

Compensation: $8-$10/hour based on experience. Annual Bonus.

Compensation: $8-$10/hour Plus Annual Bonus
Telecommuting is ok.
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 3292818624

My problem here is the salary they offer. I made $8 an hour working at Godiva in Atlanta. When I interviewed for that job, my boss said my prior experience at JcPenney wasn't relevant to him. Yet I got hired anyway & did well while he was manager. I made $10 at other jobs in undergrad.

And no "former lawyer" I know of is so hard up that they're going to do all this stuff for a mere $8-10 an hour. You would have to do less in a retail job or even at the local fast food joint. Someone with prior experience at this stuff is not worth this piddling rate, which translates at below $25K a year in income. At part time hours, you're probably talking about qualifying for welfare benefits.

Go do some extra work for Central Casting instead. At least then you can maintain some dignity & wear clothes you wouldn't get to wear otherwise.

Now, more stupidity. Feast your eyes on this:

Production Company Intern (Midtown)

Date: 2012-09-24, 12:23PM EDT [Errors when replying to ads?]

We are a small to midsize office in NYC and have multiple high profile projects. We need someone to help us keep the office organized. Most days you would answer phones, run errands, get coffee, lunch, possibly some research. Need someone to make sure there's paper in the printer, the trash has been taken out and make sure the kitchen is in order. Be able to be aware if something needs to get done. Some days there's plenty to do and other days in might be quiet, but if you have an interest in working in a production office, this is a good way to meet people and get in the door. This can be short or long term, depending on your interests and if you have time. I would like someone at least three days a week or more. It can be half days too. Please email what days and times you can be here, a resume if you have one and a little bit about you. Our hours are 930am to 6pm. This is an unpaid internship, but there could be opportunities for the right candidate in the future.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 3279592569

My response:

So, you have "multiple high profile projects" & an office to maintain but you can't bother to even pay transportation reimbursement to an intern i.e. forcing someone to PAY to work for YOU?!?!?!? Oh, and this sounds like a completely illegal internship considering interns are supposed to be getting a LEARNING OPPORTUNITY!!!

Getting your damn lunch & doing office tasks (as your description states) does NOT make for a legal internship. This sounds like an attempt to cheat professionals out of a job by making someone else be a slave.

Do you not keep up with the news? There have been major crackdowns as of late on illegal internships by the state & federal labor departments, a major Hollywood studio is being sued for their illegal internships & there is a law firm that specifically deals with suing assholes like you who think they can violate labor laws b/c it's the entertainment industry.

Get your head out of your ass, get some class & get a clue! Oh, and you might want to retain a lawyer since you're probably going to need one very soon.

Signed, A Production Company Owner Who Has Some Business Ethics & a Law License

Yeah considering I have dealt with mass internship hiring at my company, I've got every right to say that when I see your company engaging in unethical behavior since that makes things harder for MY company & every other business owner I know who doesn't have an entitlement complex or thinks total strangers should be eating the poop as it comes out of their buttholes. The tone of some of these ads shrieks "unprofessional," "tacky," "unappreciative," and worse "scummy" to me.

Here's more:

Commercial Litigation Firm - Internship (Flushing, Queens)

Date: 2012-10-19, 3:09PM EDT [Errors when replying to ads?]

[NOTICE: If you send a cover letter with spelling and/or grammar errors, or with references to a generic position that is not relevant to this post, it is highly likely that all interest will be lost before your cover letter is read in its entirety and your email will be deleted. Attention to detail and professionalism are highly important in this line of work and at our office]

Our Firm:

Our firm handles a vast array of cases from commercial litigation and contract disputes to foreclosure defense litigation. We are dedicated to providing our clients with highly effective legal representation so any employee or intern must be willing to do the same.
Most of the cases we handle are rather large and complex, so although we run a friendly and laid back office environment, things need to be taken seriously.


The intern will have the opportunity to
(1) learn the art of conducting client consultations;
(2) learn how to determine whether a case is worth taking on;
(3) learn the elements of an ironclad contract and how to draft one;
(4) learn the ins-and-out of motion practice, effective research, argument development, and motion drafting;
(5) attend court hearings and appearances on cases, and "second chair" at any deposition or trial.

The Ideal Intern:

- A 2L/3L or recent graduate studying for the Bar or awaiting results.
- A keen eye for detail, highly motivated, always looking to go that extra step, able to think differently, and of course professional.
- Someone who is not just seeking another job, but is looking for a platform that to provide an upward trajectory towards a bright career.
- Zealously interested in applying fundamentals from law school to the real world commercial disputes and litigation that arises.
- Has a reliable mode of transportation or capable of using public transportation efficiently.

- This is an excellent opportunity for any 2L/3L law student, law graduate waiting bar results, or pending bar admission to get hands on real life application and experience, and for the right candidate, if taken seriously, this internship can lead to a bright future with the firm.
- Our office is located in the heart of flushing, close to the 7 train, the LIRR-Flushing station, and bus-stops.
- The internship days and hours are flexible, but we are generally looking for a solid 20 or more hours a week.

Please email cover letters and resume to be considered for this position.

Location: Flushing, Queens
This is a part-time job.
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 3350542336

Do you see one word here about travel reimbursement? I don't. That's a red flag.

Plus, if you are going to be that picky and obstinate about details in your ad you need to be paying a salary. I would not want to pay for an internship at a law firm & you shouldn't either. Any business in any field that expects you to foot the bill for your own travel or to do anything for their benefit while not offering a salary is not worth dealing with. It could very well be a scam operation like the one I experienced years back.

Oh, and how can I forget this piece of work?

Makeup & Hair Assistant/Social Media/Graphic Artist (Brooklyn)

Date: 2012-10-25, 12:51PM EDT [Errors when replying to ads?]

I am a Makeup Artist and Hair Stylist based in New York and I am seeking the BEST, DOWN TO EARTH, NORMAL, DRAMA FREE, RELIABLE AND EAGER makeup/hair assistant in the world for my bookings (editorials, ads, private clients, commercials, televison, film, tests, etc).

Must also have skills and experience in PR, Social Media, Blogging and Graphic Design to help me build my business, branding and keeping my site up to date. The candidate will be working with me on jobs in New York and from home. Possibility of filling in for me when I'm booked or unavailable.

- Assist me on bookings (skin prep, makeup application, set up and break down station, cleaning brushes, passing me tools, touch ups on set, taking pictures and video of my work)
- MUST KNOW THE RULES...NO networking, intoxication, drugs, stealing, whining, begging, talking too much
- Creating social media strategies and help manage social media outlets
- Posting relevant content to Facebook - Twitter - Blog
- Seeking out media outlets and blogs to improve web presence
- Looking for someone with social media & print contacts
- Image preparation and uploads to my website using basic Photoshop (no retouching)

- Minimum 1 year makeup artist and/or hair stylist or strong desire to start in the business
- Basic knowledge of Photoshop
- Passion and knowledge on all things beauty (cosmetics, makeup, fashion, skincare and hair)
- Strong, creative writing skills...traditional and writing for social media - wicked smart, witty, engaging
- Knowledgable with Facebook Fan Pages, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Blog and any other social media platforms

Please send your Cover letter, Resumé and photo of yourself
Students welcome
Flexible hours

Location: Brooklyn
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: Depends on experience $10-15/hr and/or up to $300/job

PostingID: 3364150718

You know I had to respond to this garbage:

You sound like a fucking peach. Why don't you just buy a robot & save yourself the strain of human interaction?

Come on, "- MUST KNOW THE RULES...NO networking, intoxication, drugs, stealing, whining, begging, talking too much." I can agree with not stealing or taking drugs & drinking but a lot of this crap is totally subjective. Why don't you just put "be a corporate drone who licks my shoe bottoms after I step in dog mess?" That totally sounds to me like you insist someone has no personality at all, which is the antithesis of BEING in the creative industry in the first place. One person's whining is another person's refusing to be a slave.

Not to mention asking for a picture of someone. What the hell? Are you also demanding the assistant to be your fuck puppet? That's just asking to get sued for illegal hiring practices or sexual harassment. It sure makes you sound like a perv to me. What relevance do one's looks have to this job? I don't see anything here about this assistant doing modeling or acting work.

You need to rephrase what you claim to be looking for because, let's face it you're NOT seeking "the BEST, DOWN TO EARTH, NORMAL, DRAMA FREE, RELIABLE AND EAGER makeup/hair assistant in the world for my bookings." You want a slave. If you can't at least sound like you respect people in your ad, how do you expect anyone worth a damn to consider applying? I'm not even in that field but I read it & think "Run for the hills!" Not to mention that you will likely get sued sooner or later for demanding applicants to send you a picture of themselves as a condition to getting an interview. That shouts to me that you're a bigot or trying to exploit someone.

Think about how this person treats others. I'd never want this individual working for my company or doing my projects. Probably an ass to everyone, including the director.

Another illegal ad from a sexist pervert:

Personal assistant-Office help... (harlem...)

Date: 2012-11-08, 1:21PM EST[Errors when replying to ads?]

This is a Part Time Position - FEMALE

Perform clerical work as needed...
Manage all incoming/outgoing mail.
Perform administrative duties and provide management support.
Other duties as assigned.

Have own laptop.
Excellent internet skills with knowledge of social media outlets.
Have worked in small business environment.
Professional and extremely organized work ethic.

Please forward Resume and PIC to be considered...

Compensation: up to $12hr/DOE

Location: harlem...
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: up to $12hr/DOE

PostingID: 3328991502

Why don't these people leave this crap in the personals or go hire hookers? If attorneys could locate people who'd been abused by these creeps and had business names, they could make a fortune suing these pricks. Plus, you could enjoy the righteous indignation & make friends with legitimate business owners as well as conservatives.

Another illegal ad:

Personal Assistant to Producer - $600wk - 12 hours a day -7 days a wk (Chelsea)

Date: 2012-12-02, 7:46PM EST[?]

Need Personal Assistant for the next 2 months - 7 days a week.

It would be great if you
- are inexhaustible,
- know administrative programs and such on a mac,
- have a mac,
- drive,
- know your way around photoshop
- have video / animation / 2D & 3D graphics production knowledge in general
- etc..

Looking for someone eminently trustworthy, reliable and capable.
Need someone right now but looking for the right person to join a team going forward.

Reply with clear info about your abilities and a phone number.

Compensation: $600 per week. 12 hours a day. 7 days a week starting now.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.


Sounds good until you do the math. Here's my response:

Your rate is illegal. Follow me on this little math calculation:

12 hrs a day x 7 days a week = 84 hours a week

600 (what you propose to pay a week) / 84 = 7.1428.....

In THIS state, minimum wage is $7.25 an hour. Your rate is $7.14 an hour, which is clearly BELOW the minimum wage in NY. If you are lying about location, minimum wage is $7.25 an hour in NJ and higher than that in CT.

A little free advice: if you want a GOOD person who's going to give a damn & do the kind of work you want, you might want to pay a little better than minimum wage. Personal assistants performing the tasks at the hours you are asking for (at the expense of their own lives) make a good $70K+ a year.

Try at least $25 an hour if you want someone to give up their entire life for the next 2 months & during the holidays to boot. Come to think of it, considering you're asking folk to give up Christmas maybe you should offer around $40-50 an hour.

That is market rate, folks! You violate paying someone the market rate at your own peril. Don't come crying to me or anyone else about how your assistant or your intern stinks when you aren't even offering a living wage.

One place where I'm apparently smarter than anyone there:

writer/bloger/admin /assistant (Midtown West)

Date: 2012-12-12, 8:41PM EST[?]

internet based company in new york is looking for a /Writer/assistant to help us with some blogging and handling our social media accounts.,one to help us with answering calls, responding to emails and internet research. ,

Monday through friday ,Internet and teck savvy a must !Starting salary Is at

$ 15.00 hour ,to start 5 days a week and hours can be discussed . to apply for this position please , send us your resume with references , For a fast response back and interview set up .

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: $15.00 an hour


This also warranted a response:

I do not send personal materials to a company that can't even proofread their own ads & be bothered to identify themselves. Clearly, I'm far overqualified for this even as a low stress day job where I have zero attachment or true interest. It also looks like I'm smarter than your top brass based on this ad.

You might get more legit responses if you bothered to write an ad with proper English and using basic grammar rules that the average 3rd grader knows how to execute.

Applicants judge companies as well. Smart ones look for typos, entitlement attitudes, crazy demands, etc. and don't waste time with them. Not every employer is worth impressing, you know?

Finally, another illegal internship & this time with someone who publicly admits to attempting to violate labor laws:

Documentary film internship

Date: 2012-12-11, 12:19PM EST[?]

Like social justice issues?

Like documentary film?

Maybe this internship is the one for you.

We are Black Wasp Productions, a small documentary production company -- two full-time producers, a part-time producer and an assistant editor.

Our film is about race, class, gender and the American dream -- we will tell you more about it when we call you for an interview.

We have shot a lot of footage, have begun editing and are now trying to finish the film by early February.

No technical experience necessary -- although, if you know FCP, that's a plus!

You just need to be smart, quick, driven, punctual, energetic, responsible and have a desire to learn the ins and outs of documentary film production.

Unfortunately, It's unpaid.

We could use a few fulltime or part-time interns to help with the following:

1. Transcribe interviews
2. Research
3. Assistant Editing
4. Assistance on shoots
5. Scanning photos
6. Running errands
7. Watching rough cuts with the producers and giving feedback

You can call Kitama Jackson, the producer/director at (718) 928-4873 to discuss this position further. Or you can email him at:

You can see Kitama's website:

We plan on filling this internship really soon.

We look forward to hearing from you!

Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.


Guess who I'm making sure my company doesn't work with? No company needs the tainted association of or friendship with a business owner that doesn't bother knowing the basics of labor law or has any respect for interns, one of the most vulnerable groups in this industry.

I had to say something:

You DO know that full time internships are illegal under state & federal labor law, right? As in, you can't make someone work 40+ hours a week for free. That is NOT an internship; it is slavery & displacing professionals who have a value in the marketplace.

Not to mention that some of the tasks you list would require an intern to travel. Do you expect an INTERN to PAY to work for you? Without covering travel done for YOUR benefit, that's in effect what you're doing. I see nothing listed here about paying for interns' travel costs to the office or to run these errands you want them to run.

The terms you list are the perfect way to create resentment & ill will among interns. In fact, there's a law firm right now that is seeking out people who had illegal internships & going after employers in the entertainment industry. Wake up & look around you: tons of employers in plenty of industries are jumping on the illegal internship bandwagon & college students/newbies have had enough. Employers are being fined for having illegal internships as well.

You need to be employing some legal counsel at once since with ads like these & these sorts of working conditions, you're going to find yourself in an unpleasant & expensive lawsuit as well as with a very bad industry reputation.

Lastly, remember the old adage "you get what you pay for." Quality costs money & no one deserves to be exploited.

I as a business owner totally evaluate you & your business based on how you treat your front line people. If you're abusive to the sales associates, receptionists, interns, servers, anyone who's got a "low level" position, I'm not interested in dealing with you. Treating those people like crap says you will totally treat me like crap sooner or later or worse, you're just a brown nosing scumbag (and if you've read this blog, you know how I feel about those).

I also evaluate a business based on their job ads, including grammar concerns and expectations vs. the offered compensation. When those are out of whack, you create a negative impression that leaves a very nasty taste in my mouth. I'm going to do my best not to help you or do anything that might remotely benefit you if you are some chucklehead who can't even master simple concepts like treating others as you'd want to be treated.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Case Against Christmas Cards & Giving Gifts

So, now we're in the holiday season. Apparently, I've not written about this issue but I feel like I should. This article also prompts a response.

First off, we resolve every single year not to have to mail out Christmas cards. My family & I are not about the Christmas cards. We rarely got any from anyone via mail & we were more apt to do exchanges with co-workers, classmates, people we saw all the time. No one in my family would foam at the mouth or freak out if you didn't send them a Christmas card.

Think about snail mail Christmas cards for a moment: you pay a huge amount in postage per card (44 cents a piece at last count, though the rate easily could have gone up since I had to mail things), the cards are usually generic in scope & many people who get them don't bother to save them. Once they take out the cash or gift card, they usually just throw it in the trash either right away or shortly after Christmas.

Now I ask you, what is the point of that? If you have some elderly grandparent who doesn't know diddly about the Internet that's one thing but there are plenty of grandparents who have computers & Facebook accounts of their own so that "old age" argument is wearing thin. If you're not completely infirm in some way (like no movement in your extremities, having your own room at the hospital or needing 24/7 assisted living care) or living very close to the poverty line, I do think you should be making some effort to get with modern times and at least know how to write and receive e-mail. I'm sure even many people with terminal illnesses know these basics.

This should be mandatory in the workplace; no one should have to cater to your Luddite ways when you're hampering business operations by refusing to adapt (yes, you are). Customers will respond by not patronizing your business & going to your competitors. Younger workers a.k.a. the future of society will go work someplace where the boss actually bothers with modern technology. Basic, modern technology is a boon to ALL of us & does make life easier. Stop using your past glory to be a technology snob! We are not impressed & we don't care what you did when we were still in diapers. Try doing great things NOW in 2012!

You also can't claim to be an environmentalist or "green" in any way if you are mailing out Christmas cards. If you're doing that, you're just a hypocrite & can keep your mouth shut about people not recycling as well as about mothers using disposable diapers on their babies.

I think the Christmas card had its time when postage was cheaper but today, it doesn't make sense to me. I figure once more of the Jurassic Luddites die out, we'll be strictly on the e-mail Christmas cards or just giving cards to people without putting yet more money in the US Post Office's pocket (and you know how fond I am of them).

Plus, when we get them it becomes a whole obligation of "Now, we have to send YOU one." That's irritating & personally I don't care but my husband feels differently.

Maybe this is one of those familial differences: I didn't have any super old relatives to send things to me. We didn't have money to spare on frivolities like Christmas cards & Thank You notes. We believe in talking to people and personally being nice to them or thanking them for a gift. That is sufficient for me & for any rational person. Yeah, yeah, etiquette rules & "Aren't you the etiquette queen?" you may ask? Here's the answer: you've met your etiquette duties when you said "Thank you," once or "Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Happy Hanukkah/Happy Kwanzaa/Happy Whatever!" once.

Sending me a card is saying it to me twice & I'm not some unfeeling bitch who expects you to spend $50 sending Christmas cards when you might be this close to losing electricity or being kicked out of your home. You don't know how big someone's family/friends circle might be & even $20 could be an imposition.

I'd rather you saved your money & had food to feed your kids instead of fulfilling some outdated, antiquated notion of "etiquette" that has no place in 2012. I grew up living on that razor's edge so I don't get all butt hurt if someone didn't send me a paper card. How do you know that person isn't in serious financial straits or has the same attitude I have about such things? Do YOU save all the Thank You notes you get & have a collection of all the ones you've ever gotten from anyone? If you trash them, you've got no right to be angry if someone thanked you in person or on the telephone instead of sending you a paper card. My philosophy on Thank You notes is the same as it is with Christmas cards. Informality, you say? Well, good thing you've got money to throw away; some of us have to live on a budget & don't have it to burn like you do.

Seriously, SAVE YOUR MONEY! Send me an e-card instead. Better yet, send me a personalized e-mail if you want to thank me or wish me a happy holiday.

We're sending cards to a couple people as a kind gesture since they don't have funds for things. I'm not expecting return cards from them since they are living near the poverty line. That's my own choice to be nice.

I guess I also despise such traditions since no one is honest about why they're doing things. You know that secretly, everyone wants a card and/or gift if they give you one & some of these people are materialistic jerks who could use a viewing of What Would Jesus Buy? or some time at a homeless shelter to see real hardship. They could use a lesson in appreciation & stop viewing gifts as an entitlement.

Now, on the topic of gift giving: as I get older, it becomes much harder to write a Christmas list. When I was younger, I was like every other kid having a list long enough to paper the county 3 times over. Okay, not literally but I could definitely come up with things.

As you get older, you recognize the difference between needs and wants. My wants have also decreased dramatically & changed. These days, most of my wants are based on money being no object like buying me good stock or office space or paying off my student loan debt. Since no one I know can do that (nor would I ask someone to pay off my student loan debt), I'm left with very little I can think of for lists. It's like "What can you get me that I couldn't get myself?"

I also still have a lot of clothing & personal preferences that some of my list seekers aren't as supportive of or in tune with. I can trust my immediate family to buy me things fitting my taste & style and my in-laws will buy things I wouldn't have necessarily thought of for myself but then look good in when I try them on. However, I wouldn't trust people outside these groups to clothes shop for me without a link to the exact item I wanted.

I'm also upgrading things so getting that stuff costs more. Jewelry, I'm looking at you.

We also have limited space in our home, don't go to most chain restaurants we can get to around here & I have subscriptions to Groupon and Living Social that I check regularly for deals. Some of my list seekers refuse to use the Internet or live very far away from me & wouldn't call a NYC venue to see about a gift certificate or card for us to use.

Therefore, if I don't know what I want & you have crazy parameters, how are you going to know what I want or spend your money wisely on a gift for me? Maybe I need more gift giving friends in the financial realm who know about buying stock. I could keep stock certificates in my home more easily.

I have to now respond to that Backstage article. Maybe the Secret Agent Man & his associates like actors to give them gifts but I wouldn't want someone in a business relationship with me (as opposed to having established an independent friendship with me) giving me gifts. Actors doing it feels to me like they're trying to suck up to me or buy my affection.

If I were a manager, I wouldn't want a client doing that & lawyers aren't supposed to be using their legal representation to get presents or freebies from clients. The ethics rules are especially wary of clients giving large gifts to their lawyers.

You being a shitty actor or legal client isn't going to change with you giving me a good gift. Your gift will not change my opinion of you in that respect. I might think you're a nice person & that you were thoughtful but if you suck, you suck. That's just all there is to it. Maybe I'd feel more inclined to help you not suck but it feels like encouraging actors to give gifts just encourages the mediocre & lousy to use it as a means to get undeserved opportunities. I am not a present whore & don't want people thinking a shiny gift makes up for their shortcomings, personality problems, whatever the issue is. I'd rather have pleasant people in my life who aren't causing me stress, grief & hassle instead of problem causers who think giving me a nice Christmas gift makes up for their bullshit the rest of the year.

Who's with me on this? Are YOU a present whore?

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Goodbye, Church Lady Stuff & "Non-Sexist" Gifts

When I was trying to put insoles in my heeled boots for my show performance (discovered I already had some in there but used them in a different pair of heels), I decided to do something my husband had been bugging me to do for ages: clean out my shoes & closet!

Now, with all my talk of clothes you probably think I own 100 pairs of shoes at least. Nope, not even close. I own less than 30. Most of those shoes weren't even bought or selected by me, in fact. I also have a decent amount of clothing that wasn't bought or selected by me. This is despite being the oldest in my family: my mother managed to get hand me downs from other people's older kids. My mother's resourcefulness is legendary, to say the least. She probably inadvertently taught me how to persuade others & definitely taught us how to stand on our own two feet.

As an actress/creative type, I've been big on having diversity in my clothing. I don't fit one style or one type & have different moods. You can't just stick me in one box or say "Oh, she'd never wear THAT!" I've done many things in life & you never know when that evening gown or cheerleader outfit will come in handy. I've bought dresses I just liked the look of & then wore them to events later on, leading to raves over it. My eye for dressing myself is something I take pride in & it doesn't seem to have dulled at this point.

Another thing about my clothing: I bought a lot of it in the late 90s since I didn't have to pay for car insurance & couldn't get other things. At that time, there were apparently more retailers selling "Made in the USA," including JcPenney (where I worked in high school & got a 40% discount on anything I could wear to work). Style differences aside, a lot of my things aren't replaceable.

I have one definitive church lady dress that I wouldn't getting rid of since it epitomizes the frumpiness of that style & you never know when you might need such an outfit. What if I had to play a fundie or pretend to be one?

However, I noticed that I had other dresses I didn't need & that were too big. One was this dress with red roses that I bought my replacement for (the replacement is a short cocktail dress I wore on the extra gig where Method Man was apparently present). I actually got my replacement so I could get rid of that one since it's now too big on me.

I also found this dress I have in a color design I love but the style doesn't work. It's also too big & when I wore it, I had gaps in the front where you could see my bra. If you saw it, you would definitely think of one of those church revival broadcasts from the late '80s or early '90s.

I might be the first skinny person in history who was never remotely overweight & has to get rid of things she got in middle & high school because they're now too big on her. I've aged & gotten thinner; what the Hell?!?!

I was ultimately motivated to get rid of certain things for a few reasons:

A) How many church lady outfits do I really need? I mean, I don't go to church & have no real desire to do so.

We're not talking business casual clothing or stuff you could wear in an office or the courtroom. I'm talking things that when you look at them, you immediately think of some televangelist's wife or older daughter.

B) I didn't pick out this stuff or buy it for myself. What's my compulsion with keeping things that arguably aren't really in my style or aesthetic?

C) I'm not a little kid anymore. I've also started a new regime where I act as me for any audience. I don't do what some of these Dear Prudence letter writers do & "act on my best behavior" around in-laws or let them tell me how to dress, otherwise attempting to infantalize me. No, thank you! I would never be married to a man whose family did that to me. I had enough of it in my own household with my own mother.

So if I've adopted the "accept me for me or go fuck yourself" ethic, why keep things that have no relevance to it? Who am I trying to impress or please? No one.

Seriously, I wonder what the hell is wrong with women who put up with that shit? If my in-laws made me call them "Mr." & "Mrs.," I would make them call me "Ms." and "Esquire/Attorney at Law/Counselor." Same for everyone else, in fact. Celebrities included.

If you make me call you "Mr." or "Mrs./Ms.," you have to call me "Ms." and refer to me as "Esquire/Attorney at Law/Counselor." I can be a prick too & will sharply rebuke you if you demand me to use formality while you try using my first name, which is informal! I'm married but "Ms." is my preferred title. Save the "Mrs." for formal events (ideally where you're including my spouse) or for when I look like an old lady.

NEVER refer to me as "Mrs. [Husband's first name][Husband's last name]" if you are not from my husband's family or someone we know well since I will brand you a sexist for making me an accessory on my husband's relationship charm bracelet vs. an independent person with opinions, feelings, preferences, etc.

Asking for formality tends to mean you will not have a warm or authentic relationship with someone. Granted, this comes from a woman who never had to call anyone "Mr." or "Mrs." or use other titles unless the person was a teacher or a school administrator at her school.

My mother taught us that respect is earned, not given just because you've managed to live on this planet longer than we have. We met some very shitty adults in my childhood who were not worthy of respect & my mother basically told us we didn't have to respect them. I hope my sister continues to raise her kids with that critical eye toward "respect your elders." Her oldest son has already done us proud with that one since he's called out BS by adults at the age of 9.

D) It doesn't fit! Am I keeping this stuff so if I gain a little weight, I don't have to go completely naked?

E) Then, finally, I've never worn it. If I haven't worn it after having it 10+ years, why am I still keeping it?

There was also the corollary of "God, this is so uncomfortable on me!" as for why I haven't worn something. Age does not make a pair of shoes more comfortable on your feet.

So it makes me feel better to get rid of some things. Asked my neighbor if she wanted anything & some of the clutter got out that way. Now I just have to find a place for a very conservative bridesmaid dress & 4 pairs of size 8 shoes (two of them open toed). I can take some of it to Bottomless Closet, a non-profit that provides business clothing to women in NYC. I like their concept, they have their financials out in the open for you & I donated there before without hassle or BS. Perhaps it's also a weight off my psyche & saying "Hey, I'm an adult now & I don't have to impress or hide from anybody!"

I also got information recently about an attempt to create a list of "non-sexist Christmas gifts" from UltraViolet, a progressive organization that deals with women's issues.

Personally, I feel sexism is in the eye of the beholder. We had Barbies but we never played "Barbie goes to the prom" or "Math is hard" Barbie. Barbie was a domestic abuser who beat Ken & our other dolls in our world. She was pretty much Satan in our world & everyone had to flee from her. Yeah, this might give you some insight on how we grew up except my father wasn't a domestic abuser (a fact he touted many times, in fact, especially if you talked about his drinking). My mother even said that she would leave my father if he ever laid a hand on her & reminded us that "they always go to sleep." Our 99.9% female cast were strong women who stood up for themselves & their kids. Playing Barbie in this way, I don't think you could say we were corrupted into some sexist thinking or mores; Barbie might not have been a great person but she certainly wasn't a weakling! I'm also the oldest & my parents wanted me to be a boy; they never seemed disappointed though, maybe because some of my behavior is more traditionally masculine than feminine like being the responsible one and standing up for myself all the time.

Sexism is something you learn from the home environment, parenting in particular. We didn't really learn that since my mother had to do almost everything out of necessity. She had maybe 1/2 a parent to work with at best because of my father's alcoholism & at one point, she was a single parent since they separated.

Barbie is not the old blackface figurines from yesteryear, where just looking at them evokes the racism. Even if you look at a Barbie objectively, I don't think you'd find sexism there. I guess me also being thin colors that view but it's my opinion.

When I got information about it, I felt like "Can't we just have gifts? Can't we just BE?" We got toy cars as kids as well since my father is a car enthusiast (and my sister also has some interest there). I feel like a cigar is just a cigar & what you do with things or how you use them is what counts vs. the presence of a toy. I would certainly never say "Oh, my niece can't have a Barbie doll because of the 'math is hard' Barbie." You have to watch how kids are playing and go from there. I also believe in learning by showing vs. telling someone to do or not do something.

I refuse to go around thinking about sexist implications of gifts. This is an example of one of those instances where I think some people are being too feminist for their own good & fussing over the wrong issues. There's no need to shove men down or make everyone live in drudgery when life is hard enough already with the things you can't control. Conduct bothers me a trillion times more than a Barbie ever would. I say get the damn gift that will make your recipient happy & stop telling kids what they want to have!