Ahhh...so many things I want to write & so little time to do it (yeah, if you're one of those people constantly employing "Tl;dr" [too long, didn't read] you have no business reading this blog; morons can go for entertainment in plenty of other places).
So, some life updates first. I decided to buy my own domain name for this blog so now you can also get here by typing www.theangryredheadedlawyer.com
Makes it more official. After all, humanity will piss me off in some fashion probably even after I'm dead. No one will let me dye my hair or change it around. Those of you who get to dye your red have the luxury of changing it; I don't. I'll have to stick to wearing wigs if I want to change my hair color without screwing up the natural one I have. As for the lawyer part, people thought I acted like one long before I was officially licensed as one.
First off, I started a basic intermediate level acting class. It's been something else I've been meaning to do & felt that if I was going to build up training on my acting/performance resume, it would be a must have. Seeing a Living Social deal for one made the choice of where to go much easier, though talking to one of the instructors clinched the choice to buy.
In my entertainment experiences, I've also seen that whole circle start to overlap in my networking efforts. In fact, I was talking to an acting coach recently who said my name was familiar to him. People seem to know my business partners or someone I had a conversation with at a networking event or even people I know from networking groups. This particular article definitely rings true. If you think networking is a waste of time in entertainment, you either haven't been in this business very long or you're a moron.
I started noticing this maybe a year ago but it's become even more blatant & obvious to me now. Does that mean you've arrived or that your reputation is proceeding you in a profound way?
On that note, let's also point out for the hundredth millionth time that you need to behave like a civilized person to everyone you encounter. I take notes on who did what to me or mine & if someone says to me "Don't deal with that person b/c (s)he did X,Y & Z" I will take it seriously if it's coming from one of my contacts or someone like a producer, agent, director, etc. whose job consists of screening out the BS & making the creation of art as easy + painless as possible. This also holds true in the legal field & among lawyers. If one of my lawyer contacts says you're a prick, that's enough for me to not give you a chance.
One discovery in my day job: there are quite a few lawyers who don't answer the knocking door of opportunity or consider networking. With all you hear about networking in the legal community & how important it is (it's probably more important than a high GPA or what law school you attend), you'd think no one would be hanging up on me or not listening to what I had to say in that job. Some people desperately need to get out of their self-important bubbles.
Second, I need friends with money. Not to borrow any, mind you. I need friends with money so they WON'T ask me for it. They'd also understand people bugging them to borrow money. I've been in that boat quite recently & in a family situation to boot. Friends who understand families trying to guilt you after you've gotten injured trying to help them & then want to weasel out of paying you on time. If people have said you should be a loan shark, I could use the company. The irony here is that these same family members call other ones "takers"; I may end up saying "Look in the mirror. You're trying to take from ME!"
I have a little less attitude toward my aunt who got burned by them & hasn't been paid back but I still think she was a bitch when calling up my sister right after her first husband died & being completely insincere about it (at least in her tone of voice when she left her message). I said at the time that my father should have confronted her on her shit. I now totally understand people who say they don't loan money to friends or family. I get it! I also wondered if that was my future: getting pestered for money all the time, especially one I really have it.
Finally, my foot's been better but I'm now using a cane for crowded moments. Do you think most people are decent to you on public transit when you have a cane? Ha! I've come close to knocking people upside the head in the morning commute for being in my face or daring to get attitude with me when I don't move in (since I can't do that holding of the top poles even when I have 2 good legs & very little on me). Hubby says I should be off it soon but my foot will be sore for a while & the 1% of healing takes the longest. I wonder what will it be. Days? Weeks? Months? Years? Or will it just be something that makes me an old lady even quicker?
So, now for those general musings:
Some of these are late but welcome to more stupidity among school authorities. You can see it here, here, here & here.
Here's my take on all this.
1. The cerebral palsy thing is just wrong, period. I don't think you have to say much more than that.
2. The "lesbian picture" story reminded me of a photo my mom saw in my senior yearbook of this lesbian couple in my class (who, by the way, I didn't know was a couple since I didn't keep track of them & wasn't friends with either of them plus I had my own shit to deal with). Nobody banned that one & my mother complained about it to us privately but didn't call the school, file a lawsuit or act like my little virgin eyes would explode from seeing it.
Are school administrators these days total pussies or should I blame the parents for not waking up to the realities of the real world? If my very strict, religious mother isn't naive to the realities of our modern times, why the hell can't these people get it together? I'll bet THEIR kids got to watch "The Simpsons" & "In Living Color" in reruns or when they were originally on.
3. The "no hugging" thing is also stupid. I'll guarantee this school doesn't have a drama department or their actors suck if they do. Touching people is part of the whole acting experience & being able to trust your fellow actors/truly do better work on stage. Not graphic touch but hugging would certainly be included.
Even my religious private school where you couldn't say "butt" & the cheerleaders had to wear knee length skirts didn't have such a rule!
4. The prom dress thing: personally, I have a more nuanced view here.
First off, you have to consider that in my prom going days longer dresses were in vogue. No one wore cocktail dresses. That's what most of these short dresses are: cocktail dresses.
I'm totally prejudiced to a long dress. Think about it: how many times are you ever going to get to wear one? You can wear cocktail dresses to clubs. You can wear them to networking events in bars or film screenings or other entertainment/cultural events. They're also perfect for bachelorette parties & if you have ugly legs or a fat waist, the right style of long gown will cover some of that. Some women have no business in a cocktail dress & should spare the rest of us. Hell, if you want to be an adult star or take your clothes off you could also wear one to Hugh Hefner's mansion.
I think short dresses are too casual for a prom or a formal. Plus, with so many other places you can wear them (unless you're going to be a teen mommy, not have a bachelorette party & never go out again) why the hell would you pick a cocktail dress for a prom? To me, it's gauche. It's like wearing your workout clothes or something.
Hell, if you're going to flaunt your wares go do it at some club where guys with money hang out or even in a college party! Go score a sugar daddy or at least a guy who might have some real skills if you want to get laid that badly. I doubt most of these kids go to school with the sons of multimillionaires so it's just going to waste, ladies. Plus, college doesn't have that dress code crap. No one ever turned us away from frat parties for short dresses.
However, that being said I do know the shorter dresses were the rage in the '80s. Did schools do this then? If they didn't, doesn't anyone else think it's needless bitching & whining? I do favor the long formal gown since you'll look like a princess but I also think it's pathetic to institute a "no cleavage at all" rule & think the "inappropriate" dresses aren't exactly porn star wear. I just think it's too casual. Aren't we also talking about 18 year olds? They could easily just go to a college party & to some clubs as well as sleep with adult men without the law being concerned unless it was rape.
I also find high school dress codes for women horribly sexist for the most part as well as not enforced consistently. I'll bet if some cheerleader showed up in one of these verboten dresses, she'd not have any problems.
Things like this just tells me more school administrators need to get laid. Maybe if they were having fulfilling sex lives, they'd stop being such pills to the students & the community at large. Same for some of these parents.
Finally, it's CHILDFREE bitch! This has pissed me off as well for reasons that have been explained a million times already here. Yes, I'm childfree. Now get over it.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Sunday, April 15, 2012
An Interesting Lawyer Ethics Discussion
Fighting massive injury & because I had to use it or lose it, I braved the subway & the NYC streets of Union Square to get to a special screening of a documentary called "Unraveled" on Friday (for those who didn't read my last post, I've been laid up with a sprained ankle & was traveling on crutches). This was for free attorney CLE credit for Ethics, the category that is usually harder to get for free (even if you're an experienced lawyer). I've noticed most of those programs cost money.
I & my lucky teammates, however got in for free b/c that was the prize for the '90s Trivia Contest we participated in for a Young Lawyer's event. Personally, I felt extremely gratified at winning that thing since for me it was showing that you should be nice to me & kicking some lawyer butt (plus taking down that whole "BigLaw lawyers are God & the rest of you are shit" ethic). Also met some female attorneys who weren't half bad & left thanking my lucky stars that I don't have to deal with the dating scene as a lawyer. From what I hear, it's a messy business & I'd probably have male attorneys at these associations bothering me on a regular basis.
If that sounds arrogant or snotty, let's consider this from an objective viewpoint & how much hassle I endure regularly simply for looking as I do. Probably not far off after you look at it from that angle. I mean, who else got hit on by a lawyer working at a firm that had a table at a career fair? I'm not even sure my wearing glasses in public would change that, though I think I look horrid in them. One of these days, I'll have to show my industry peeps how I look in them so they can tell me honestly if I'm being dramatic or if I'm right.
Anyhow, it was a total endurance test to get there though I came prepared (put my hair up, didn't wear anything too warm, didn't take my purse). As usual, the theater staff was much more friendly & accommodating than the lawyers I was at the event with. I was directed to the handicap accessible areas to get to the theater I had to go to & in that time, hadn't seen a chair except for one near an employee area. I sat down & no one bothered me. If someone had, I'd have asked where I could sit until I could go into my theater for my screening.
So, I saw the documentary. I'm not going to give you a synopsis or a history since you can Google that yourself. Plus, I don't feel particularly motivated to promote a film by a director that didn't bother to have the good sense to speak to the woman on crutches & make her feel welcome. I noted that he's apparently a filmmaker/BigLaw guy but apparently he's more "lawyer first, creative second" as opposed to someone like me who cares more about the creative side. I can't really tell what the artistic intent was for the documentary; just seemed like a colder transaction to me in all of the discussion (we also got a Q&A). Personally, I thought maybe the filmmaker was trying to humanize this guy. I saw that when you saw this lawyer hugging his dog goodbye & talking about how that dog who he'd had for 7 years had been his only friend.
Good motivator not to commit crime, right (or at least any carrying long prison terms)? See a picture of your dog or cat & think about how upset you'd be having to leave your pets.
The Q&A afterwards was very interesting, though. I didn't see much compassion or sympathy with the director or really anyone else. A few notable details you may like:
* The head of the ethics department at this bar association talked about the lawyer's motivation to start his crime (he had a high profile, wealthy client who'd caused him to get sanctioned & fined as a result of representing that client & did not even so much as apologize, much less help pay some of these fines). The ethics person said that attorneys commonly get pissed off at clients who don't appreciate them & the like but never offered the solution I used for my situations: cut that client loose.
I personally have no tolerance for disrespect or such behavior. If it were me, I'd kick your ass metaphorically & immediately not represent you if you undermine my authority or disrespect me. My representation, just as my friendship or good favor, is a privilege, not a right. If you're in a legal case where the judge has to approve of your terminating representation, that's one thing but I'd go to the judge & say "Look, this person is not listening to me, undermines my authority, (whatever the beef is) & I don't feel I can provide effective advocacy to him/her/it. I want out ASAP." & point to the ethics rule saying as much. At least with a firm, you could assign a different attorney if there's a personality clash.
My bad experiences in representing folks have made me far less tolerant of BS & more likely not to stand for it. Hey, if you don't respect yourself no one else is going to. I have a standard of basic human decency & if you want to be a prick to ME or not pay me, you can handle your legal matters by your lonesome or find a doormat who'll stand for it. My charity will be done at Monday Night Law & for friends/family/trusted sources, not exploitative jerkwads with an entitlement complex. Even then, my charity has a limit.
One time, I was called a bulldog. Mistreat them & they WILL turn on you.
* Another point made in this discussion was that the bar association had been trying to show attorneys that the key to success was not money or prestige.
Ha! Can we say "mixed messages?" Hell, I think that statement was totally ironic along with absolutely ludicrous (though I'm sure the speaker would tell you he didn't mean it that way). Ask these same people how much outreach they give to attorneys not working in the big law firms or how much denigration you'll hear them make about attorneys going to certain lower ranked schools. I've heard this myself as a member of the Entertainment Committee at City Bar.
Let's also examine that incident I heard about at Monday Night Law with the non-profit organization demanding volunteers to be from big law firms vs. solos or in-house lawyers.
How much support & validity do these same lawyers give to folks like me who are running businesses & not making a six figure paycheck?
What snobbery do you see regularly from this corner?
How much catering do these people do for BigLaw & figures in that arena on a regular basis?
I see quite a bit of this & that makes it more than understandable why many attorneys who are creatives first wouldn't be caught dead at bar association events. You think anyone would bother recognizing ME or giving ME respect for things I'm doing? No, I bet I could end up a public figure & these assholes still wouldn't bother reaching out to me for things or respecting my authority in my sphere. That's why my basic attitude is "Fuck them. I'll stick to my creative folks who DO respect me & don't make me feel I should grovel to them b/c I don't have some T1 school or big law firm name in my resume."
I could write a tome on how these law firm attorneys alienate people like me. Now there are some individuals who get it & if they read this, would likely see my point here (the president of NYCLA is one of them). Those aren't the ones who poo poo my career or act like I'm not worthy of breathing the same air as them b/c I don't work in BigLaw.
How about we get over this 7th grade mentality of "I'm better than you b/c I was on law review & work in a big law firm?" How about representation & chances for leadership from people away from BigLaw & the Ivy League? When I see a bar association doing that, then you may start making those statements. I've yet to see this, though I will give this one credit for installing its current president (who did recently get a huge promotion at his big law firm & I told him maybe it would make me less cynical about BigLaw in general since he got recognition). However, it's going to be a very long & hard climb to get me to change my opinion of the legal culture & legal establishment as a whole. In fact, I definitely think this attempt to change my mind could very well be a lost cause.
* Someone who went to high school with the documentary's subject speaks up about how he'd applied early admission to 2 schools in contravention of early admission rules & got into both, angering his classmates.
Okay, that didn't really piss me off since A) the early admission policies I know of tend to be rather draconian & leave no time to apply elsewhere if your early admission place rejects you & B) why did this guy get admitted as a lawyer if he'd have to disclose everything & presumably disclosed or lied about it? Good old boys network politics rearing its ugly head? Separate rules for the Ivy League graduates? Laxer standards for admission in the '70s? Makes you wonder.
Not that I condone doing this but I can understand why someone might do it (it's a reason I don't put myself in situations where I'd be tempted to do the same thing). Guess that sums up my view of the documentary: I wouldn't personally do it & I don't really condone it (seems like way too much work & too sleazy for me) but I understand motivation/the "why" aspect. I also noticed the room taking a very judgey tone, which I found interesting. Yes, theft is theft but are we to see this particular crime as a grey area? How far would people go? This guy at least seemed to have some remorse, which is more than you see in many people.
I think if the legal profession really wanted to avoid stuff like this in the future, it would re-examine its culture, its values & who gets rewarded or punished in employment decisions, bar associations, assigning credibility, etc. Perhaps this guy should have gotten an Oscar for that snow job since that would require some acting skills, don't you think?
Oh, and another lesson. If someone shows up to your film in crutches, try being decent to them. Don't shove in front of their space, okay? I can still be hell on crutches, trust me on this. And...it pisses me off after working my ass off to get someplace when someone doesn't seem all that fazed by my effort in showing up. Little does this guy know about me...and I definitely don't help those who abuse my trust or screw over me or my friends. I'm not promoting another activity at this bar association b/c of mistreatment toward my friend. I noticed that they extended their deadline for entries & I thought "Well, shouldn't have lied to my friend about her film."
I & my lucky teammates, however got in for free b/c that was the prize for the '90s Trivia Contest we participated in for a Young Lawyer's event. Personally, I felt extremely gratified at winning that thing since for me it was showing that you should be nice to me & kicking some lawyer butt (plus taking down that whole "BigLaw lawyers are God & the rest of you are shit" ethic). Also met some female attorneys who weren't half bad & left thanking my lucky stars that I don't have to deal with the dating scene as a lawyer. From what I hear, it's a messy business & I'd probably have male attorneys at these associations bothering me on a regular basis.
If that sounds arrogant or snotty, let's consider this from an objective viewpoint & how much hassle I endure regularly simply for looking as I do. Probably not far off after you look at it from that angle. I mean, who else got hit on by a lawyer working at a firm that had a table at a career fair? I'm not even sure my wearing glasses in public would change that, though I think I look horrid in them. One of these days, I'll have to show my industry peeps how I look in them so they can tell me honestly if I'm being dramatic or if I'm right.
Anyhow, it was a total endurance test to get there though I came prepared (put my hair up, didn't wear anything too warm, didn't take my purse). As usual, the theater staff was much more friendly & accommodating than the lawyers I was at the event with. I was directed to the handicap accessible areas to get to the theater I had to go to & in that time, hadn't seen a chair except for one near an employee area. I sat down & no one bothered me. If someone had, I'd have asked where I could sit until I could go into my theater for my screening.
So, I saw the documentary. I'm not going to give you a synopsis or a history since you can Google that yourself. Plus, I don't feel particularly motivated to promote a film by a director that didn't bother to have the good sense to speak to the woman on crutches & make her feel welcome. I noted that he's apparently a filmmaker/BigLaw guy but apparently he's more "lawyer first, creative second" as opposed to someone like me who cares more about the creative side. I can't really tell what the artistic intent was for the documentary; just seemed like a colder transaction to me in all of the discussion (we also got a Q&A). Personally, I thought maybe the filmmaker was trying to humanize this guy. I saw that when you saw this lawyer hugging his dog goodbye & talking about how that dog who he'd had for 7 years had been his only friend.
Good motivator not to commit crime, right (or at least any carrying long prison terms)? See a picture of your dog or cat & think about how upset you'd be having to leave your pets.
The Q&A afterwards was very interesting, though. I didn't see much compassion or sympathy with the director or really anyone else. A few notable details you may like:
* The head of the ethics department at this bar association talked about the lawyer's motivation to start his crime (he had a high profile, wealthy client who'd caused him to get sanctioned & fined as a result of representing that client & did not even so much as apologize, much less help pay some of these fines). The ethics person said that attorneys commonly get pissed off at clients who don't appreciate them & the like but never offered the solution I used for my situations: cut that client loose.
I personally have no tolerance for disrespect or such behavior. If it were me, I'd kick your ass metaphorically & immediately not represent you if you undermine my authority or disrespect me. My representation, just as my friendship or good favor, is a privilege, not a right. If you're in a legal case where the judge has to approve of your terminating representation, that's one thing but I'd go to the judge & say "Look, this person is not listening to me, undermines my authority, (whatever the beef is) & I don't feel I can provide effective advocacy to him/her/it. I want out ASAP." & point to the ethics rule saying as much. At least with a firm, you could assign a different attorney if there's a personality clash.
My bad experiences in representing folks have made me far less tolerant of BS & more likely not to stand for it. Hey, if you don't respect yourself no one else is going to. I have a standard of basic human decency & if you want to be a prick to ME or not pay me, you can handle your legal matters by your lonesome or find a doormat who'll stand for it. My charity will be done at Monday Night Law & for friends/family/trusted sources, not exploitative jerkwads with an entitlement complex. Even then, my charity has a limit.
One time, I was called a bulldog. Mistreat them & they WILL turn on you.
* Another point made in this discussion was that the bar association had been trying to show attorneys that the key to success was not money or prestige.
Ha! Can we say "mixed messages?" Hell, I think that statement was totally ironic along with absolutely ludicrous (though I'm sure the speaker would tell you he didn't mean it that way). Ask these same people how much outreach they give to attorneys not working in the big law firms or how much denigration you'll hear them make about attorneys going to certain lower ranked schools. I've heard this myself as a member of the Entertainment Committee at City Bar.
Let's also examine that incident I heard about at Monday Night Law with the non-profit organization demanding volunteers to be from big law firms vs. solos or in-house lawyers.
How much support & validity do these same lawyers give to folks like me who are running businesses & not making a six figure paycheck?
What snobbery do you see regularly from this corner?
How much catering do these people do for BigLaw & figures in that arena on a regular basis?
I see quite a bit of this & that makes it more than understandable why many attorneys who are creatives first wouldn't be caught dead at bar association events. You think anyone would bother recognizing ME or giving ME respect for things I'm doing? No, I bet I could end up a public figure & these assholes still wouldn't bother reaching out to me for things or respecting my authority in my sphere. That's why my basic attitude is "Fuck them. I'll stick to my creative folks who DO respect me & don't make me feel I should grovel to them b/c I don't have some T1 school or big law firm name in my resume."
I could write a tome on how these law firm attorneys alienate people like me. Now there are some individuals who get it & if they read this, would likely see my point here (the president of NYCLA is one of them). Those aren't the ones who poo poo my career or act like I'm not worthy of breathing the same air as them b/c I don't work in BigLaw.
How about we get over this 7th grade mentality of "I'm better than you b/c I was on law review & work in a big law firm?" How about representation & chances for leadership from people away from BigLaw & the Ivy League? When I see a bar association doing that, then you may start making those statements. I've yet to see this, though I will give this one credit for installing its current president (who did recently get a huge promotion at his big law firm & I told him maybe it would make me less cynical about BigLaw in general since he got recognition). However, it's going to be a very long & hard climb to get me to change my opinion of the legal culture & legal establishment as a whole. In fact, I definitely think this attempt to change my mind could very well be a lost cause.
* Someone who went to high school with the documentary's subject speaks up about how he'd applied early admission to 2 schools in contravention of early admission rules & got into both, angering his classmates.
Okay, that didn't really piss me off since A) the early admission policies I know of tend to be rather draconian & leave no time to apply elsewhere if your early admission place rejects you & B) why did this guy get admitted as a lawyer if he'd have to disclose everything & presumably disclosed or lied about it? Good old boys network politics rearing its ugly head? Separate rules for the Ivy League graduates? Laxer standards for admission in the '70s? Makes you wonder.
Not that I condone doing this but I can understand why someone might do it (it's a reason I don't put myself in situations where I'd be tempted to do the same thing). Guess that sums up my view of the documentary: I wouldn't personally do it & I don't really condone it (seems like way too much work & too sleazy for me) but I understand motivation/the "why" aspect. I also noticed the room taking a very judgey tone, which I found interesting. Yes, theft is theft but are we to see this particular crime as a grey area? How far would people go? This guy at least seemed to have some remorse, which is more than you see in many people.
I think if the legal profession really wanted to avoid stuff like this in the future, it would re-examine its culture, its values & who gets rewarded or punished in employment decisions, bar associations, assigning credibility, etc. Perhaps this guy should have gotten an Oscar for that snow job since that would require some acting skills, don't you think?
Oh, and another lesson. If someone shows up to your film in crutches, try being decent to them. Don't shove in front of their space, okay? I can still be hell on crutches, trust me on this. And...it pisses me off after working my ass off to get someplace when someone doesn't seem all that fazed by my effort in showing up. Little does this guy know about me...and I definitely don't help those who abuse my trust or screw over me or my friends. I'm not promoting another activity at this bar association b/c of mistreatment toward my friend. I noticed that they extended their deadline for entries & I thought "Well, shouldn't have lied to my friend about her film."
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Wells Fargo Is Not Your Friend
Because of the refusal of Wells Fargo and maybe the entire banking system to get with modern times, I ended up spraining my ankle while trying to get to the bank post haste for my sister to have money to pay her rent.
A little history will be needed to explain some of this story & context so you really get it. Here's one of those interludes now; read back if you need to but I assume you readers are intelligent enough to stay with me on this. If you aren't, why the heck are you reading a blog authored by a lawyer?
History Interlude #1: Growing up, I have been the bank of my family. Seriously. When I was little, I saved my money. You could stay I'm a pretty good steward of it. I pay my bills on time, don't bite off more than I can reasonably chew & aside from the total BS debt one must acquire to actually do anything productive (student loan debts, I'm looking at you) I've historically been good about paying my own day to day expenses & not squandering money. I also tend to lean toward the cheapskate spectrum instead of spending like a drunken sailor. My purchases are carefully weighted & tabulated. In fact, I've been accused of over-analyzing in most facets of life & spending money is one of them. I don't like gambling & I don't play lotto.
My parents borrowed money from me many a time when I was kid. My own father actually stole money from my Minnie Mouse bank as a kid. To this day, he's never apologized for it.
My sister & my father were the "spend money like it's burning holes in your pocket" crowd. My mother was more careful except she made the mistake of sharing finances with my father.
So my attitude on loaning money is extremely business like & far less generous these days. My sister has been good about actually paying me back as she's matured into an adult & like a good lawyer, I always make sure to memorialize any borrowing done in my adult life in writing so no one gets to talk their way out of it. Plus, when you're married you can't leech off relatives if the spouse says "over my dead body." My parents will never get a loan from me again. I'd be more inclined to just pay a debt of theirs by going to their creditor directly & paying that way.
Who do you think said I ought to be a loan shark?
[End of History Interlude #1]
So, as I've done with transferring money to a different account I have in a different bank, I set up an online bill pay with my bank to go to my sister's bank to avoid travel to a Wells Fargo branch (none of which are convenient to me or where I'm working) or mailing checks multiple states away. I've never had a problem doing this sort of transfer with my accounts so I figured if I can do that with mine, why shouldn't I be able to do this for my sister & have her money post to her before the time she needed it?
I get a call Wednesday morning, after being awakened by my husband a little earlier, that the money hasn't posted. Yet my bank posted this bill pay earlier in the week. "What gives?" we wonder.
I call my bank. Apparently, this logical idea doesn't exist for Wells Fargo's account holders. My bank mailed out a paper check set to arrive in 7-10 business days. My sister needed that money the same day. I explained this & my bank was very good about cancelling the check.
So, I had to get more cash to give to her & figure out where the nearest Wells Fargo branch was. It was located in the same neighborhood as my doctor's office. This turned out to be an advantage.
It's not just me, is it? Shouldn't you be able to do an electronic bill pay to ANYONE'S bank account if you have their number & the bank should accept it that way just as a different bank allows this for your own accounts? Modern times, assholes! Modern times.
Why the Hell should I or anyone else be inconvenienced with this? What if there were no Wells Fargo branches anywhere near me? Having to travel on my lunch hour, when I already have limited time during the work week to keep up on e-mail, do tasks for my business, etc. doesn't make me happy at all. I also have to wear dressy shoes to work. I was wearing my black heeled boots, my standard in clothing because they look good with a skirt, jeans, dress pants, anything you want to wear with them.
The problem is these heels are more narrow than those in other heeled boots I've owned & worn out. They also tend to cause you to be tipsy if you walk too fast. As a New Yorker & efficiency freak who has some height, I do tend to walk fast & like to get where I need to go as quickly as I can.
So when I'm on my lunch break, after eating most of my lunch on the subway to get down there & after taking lunch late to accommodate for having to call people in Mountain Time (where it's 12 p.m. vs. 2 p.m. where I'm at), I notice that I need to be on the other side of the street to get to the bank & the crosswalk light is a flashing hand.
As I normally would do, I try to hustle across the street before the light changes.
Unfortunately, my boot decides to get tipsy. I feel myself stumble & at first, I think I'll be able to correct myself & stay up. I'm not too bad at doing that. However, my luck runs out & I fall onto the hard road as the light has changed.
A guy asked if I was okay. Still in shock & being the type to just pick myself up & keep going, I got up & said I was fine.
It wasn't until after I start walking down the street that I noticed the shock is still in my left foot. I end up hobbling to Wells Fargo, with no one really caring.
Going into Wells Fargo while hobbling in a short skirt with my pantyhose ripped up at the knee (a new pair, by the way), you'd think someone would have noticed or wondered about this. Nope, they apparently see this everyday since no one (customer or employee) says a word to me.
Now, I may be a fairly self-sufficient person (and you kind of have to be to survive in a major city) but there are plenty of friendly New Yorkers & concerned folk. I have seen compassion toward strangers happen lots of times. Maybe I should be glad that they didn't make me fill out the deposit slip to put my sister's money in but maybe that should just be a bare minimum baseline kindness kind of thing when someone enters your bank like I did.
With my foot killing me, I decide to sit down for a moment. I know I have to call work so I did that as well as my husband. The husband told me to go to the doctor or the hospital. Lucky for me, he was off that day but returning from going out with a friend.
While I was on the phone & trying to decide what to do, 2 different Wells Fargo employees were calling customers over while I had my foot elevated on a table. You'd think that would have drawn some questions or concern.
Nope. Still had no one say a word to me or even ask if I was okay. You'd think they'd have asked me to move my foot (hard to do this in a short skirt, by the way & not have your underwear showing to the world).
Time for another history interlude.
History Interlude #2: When I was in college, I had a job as a courier. I had to go to a US Post Office further out in Atlanta & pick up mail to be delivered to offices not far from my campus. I did this 6 days a week & drove my own car.
I also had a work study job at my campus museum. One good thing about the job was you could do your homework there & there was a big table with a chair that an employee could sit at positioned right at the elevator (the only entrance guests could use to get to the museum). I was not only working there on the weekends, I later became a weekend supervisor.
One Saturday morning while I was loading plastic tubs of mail into my car, I stepped off the platform wrong & twisted my right foot.
That day, I had not only my jobs to go to but a Halloween party at another campus to go to (this was at a frat where we had friends & many members had dated members, including me; I was more of an in-between with that crowd & the frats at my campus). I had a costume planned & would be getting a ride so no way was I going to miss it. I also couldn't get out of work because I may have been weekend supervisor at the time & was the one who had keys + knew the alarm code. No way could I get out of that.
Another important historical piece to note here: medical care on my campus was a total joke. The nurse's office was not open on evenings or weekends. The nearest doctor's office also offered sub-standard care. I was also on my mother's insurance & when I tried using it, I always got hassle over it. I was also hurt in my driving foot & essentially unable to do so, despite finishing my job (which I had no choice on). It was just like being unable to drive & since we had no shuttle + I wasn't about to ask anyone to drive me someplace (Who was I going to ask anyway since I lived alone & had never had success at doing that?), I was stuck. Public transit there was also close to nil with a 30 minute wait per MARTA bus at the stop closest to me.
So, facing all that I engaged in self-medication. I elevated my foot the entire day I was at work, slathered Icy Hot on it & wore a slipper over it. I even went to that party wearing my heeled shoe that was part of the costume & stayed sitting the whole time.
I don't remember still having this foot hurt me by Monday so I felt I probably did the right thing in my methods.
[End of History Interlude #2]
Remembering this whole college experience the last time I hurt my foot & realizing that A) I had insurance now (and good insurance at that), B) my doctor was nearby & C) we could afford it, I decided it was better to be safe than sorry & called the doctor. I was originally going to hail a cab but that plan didn't work so I hobbled over there from where I was.
In the meantime, my husband offered to get my laptop from work after my boss agreed to put it away for me (since I'm paranoid about expensive equipment I have to use for business being out in plain sight for people to steal or mess up in some way). I waited at the doctor's office.
When they finally saw me, I got bandaged as well as prescriptions for crutches, pain medication & orders to go to the nearby X-ray technician the next day (since by this time, it was after 5 p.m. & they were closed). I also got an ice pack for my ankle & a good view of it (massively swollen). I was instructed to take off the bandage the next day, told it would take 2 weeks to heal & the worst pain would be on Friday.
Dreading stairs on the subway, we were able to get a cheaper car service to take us home. Oh, and I did traverse the street wearing my other heeled boot & my crutches (which gave me an inch in height). We used the same car service the next day to get to & from the X-ray tech's office.
I learned that my ankle wasn't broken, just sprained. I'll have to call my doctor Monday to see if I can get more details since I didn't get more than that.
I suppose another history interlude is in order, though more brief.
History Interlude #3: I never had any major childhood injuries. No broken bones, no need for stitches (my sister wasn't as lucky on that front), nothing. The worst I had was a sprained ankle in the 6th grade where I got to miss school for a day & came back two days after I fell.
[End of History Interlude #3]
So, I really hate being immobile. You take little things for granted like being able to go upstairs. NYC has TONS of stairs & very little handicap accessibility. My own local subway stop isn't handicap accessible & I live on the 2nd floor where I have only stairs to get me to my home.
There are some good sides, I suppose:
1. I do have a railing on my stairs so I can use that as support. Some stairs are just built into walls.
2. I only live on the 2nd floor, not in a 4th or 5th floor walk-up. Man, I'd hate that.
3. My arms are killing me but my husband says I'll have more upper body strength after all this since I have to use my arms to move my weight instead of my legs.
4. I've not had to berate too many people while on crutches. I only had to do this to one guy when we were getting into our car yesterday. I said "Injured person here. Thank you." Yes, even if I'm injured I will still hurt someone if I have to.
5. I'm fortunate to be married to a man who's had those major childhood injuries & knows a thing or two about broken bones. I think those people make the best caregivers since they've actually been there & understand your plight. He'll also make me work hard & has been calling me "Crutchy," "Hop-a-long," etc. Oh, and I almost forgot "Hoppy" because I can actually hop fairly well on my good foot. As a reference, I did get first place in a sack race on a field day event in middle school.
6. I can do my job from home. I already proved I could be productive since I did it before so I didn't have to argue to get to do it. Plus, I'd rather not lose the money or back out of the commitment I made to it.
Not really happy about the lack of sympathy I've seen in some circles, though (and you bet I won't be seeing those folks in the hospital or helping them out if they get hurt). I'm also annoyed about not getting to do things I'd planned next week such as go to Monday's improv class (unless someone else wants to drive me or pay for car service to get me there & back).
I have to pray I'll be able to go to an event I won admission to on Friday (though when I mentioned that change of plan to the person responsible for the vouchers, do you think she even said so much as "I'm sorry" in response? Hell no!) that will give me CLE credits. I also have to hope I can make it for the performance that's part of my improv class the next week.
My foot's feeling better today but too many people who've suffered sprains have said not to rush the healing & spoken of recurring pain for rushing the healing process that I think I'll have to wait until the date my doctor said my foot would be 100% before I attempt to go back to the office for work. At least going to Friday's event or even an improv event, I won't have to carry more than my purse.
The road wasn't messed up or you bet I'd be suing the city. I don't really blame my sister or my bank but I do blame Wells Fargo for this (though I have a business checking account there). I'm also tempted to ask my sister for combat pay since I wouldn't have been down there if I'd not been doing her a favor. Not sure I have a case against Wells Fargo or I'd do it.
Maybe we should also rethink forcing women to wear heels & uncomfortable shoes in the workplace. If you ask me, the requirement is sexist & maybe I should smack someone for that as well. I don't tend to trip so much in my sneakers. Plus, I've been hearing way too many stories lately about women with collapsed arches because of years of having to wear heels. Next thing you know, that's going to be a legal cause against employers just like repetitive motion injuries suffered by typists & the like. A heel stabbed in some chauvinist's forehead might make him think twice about supporting that aspect of a dress code.
Some good openings here for financial institutions & women's shoe designers to step up & make life easier for all. Make it affordable + accessible to me (and the shoes have to look cute vs. old ladyish) and I'm in.
A little history will be needed to explain some of this story & context so you really get it. Here's one of those interludes now; read back if you need to but I assume you readers are intelligent enough to stay with me on this. If you aren't, why the heck are you reading a blog authored by a lawyer?
History Interlude #1: Growing up, I have been the bank of my family. Seriously. When I was little, I saved my money. You could stay I'm a pretty good steward of it. I pay my bills on time, don't bite off more than I can reasonably chew & aside from the total BS debt one must acquire to actually do anything productive (student loan debts, I'm looking at you) I've historically been good about paying my own day to day expenses & not squandering money. I also tend to lean toward the cheapskate spectrum instead of spending like a drunken sailor. My purchases are carefully weighted & tabulated. In fact, I've been accused of over-analyzing in most facets of life & spending money is one of them. I don't like gambling & I don't play lotto.
My parents borrowed money from me many a time when I was kid. My own father actually stole money from my Minnie Mouse bank as a kid. To this day, he's never apologized for it.
My sister & my father were the "spend money like it's burning holes in your pocket" crowd. My mother was more careful except she made the mistake of sharing finances with my father.
So my attitude on loaning money is extremely business like & far less generous these days. My sister has been good about actually paying me back as she's matured into an adult & like a good lawyer, I always make sure to memorialize any borrowing done in my adult life in writing so no one gets to talk their way out of it. Plus, when you're married you can't leech off relatives if the spouse says "over my dead body." My parents will never get a loan from me again. I'd be more inclined to just pay a debt of theirs by going to their creditor directly & paying that way.
Who do you think said I ought to be a loan shark?
[End of History Interlude #1]
So, as I've done with transferring money to a different account I have in a different bank, I set up an online bill pay with my bank to go to my sister's bank to avoid travel to a Wells Fargo branch (none of which are convenient to me or where I'm working) or mailing checks multiple states away. I've never had a problem doing this sort of transfer with my accounts so I figured if I can do that with mine, why shouldn't I be able to do this for my sister & have her money post to her before the time she needed it?
I get a call Wednesday morning, after being awakened by my husband a little earlier, that the money hasn't posted. Yet my bank posted this bill pay earlier in the week. "What gives?" we wonder.
I call my bank. Apparently, this logical idea doesn't exist for Wells Fargo's account holders. My bank mailed out a paper check set to arrive in 7-10 business days. My sister needed that money the same day. I explained this & my bank was very good about cancelling the check.
So, I had to get more cash to give to her & figure out where the nearest Wells Fargo branch was. It was located in the same neighborhood as my doctor's office. This turned out to be an advantage.
It's not just me, is it? Shouldn't you be able to do an electronic bill pay to ANYONE'S bank account if you have their number & the bank should accept it that way just as a different bank allows this for your own accounts? Modern times, assholes! Modern times.
Why the Hell should I or anyone else be inconvenienced with this? What if there were no Wells Fargo branches anywhere near me? Having to travel on my lunch hour, when I already have limited time during the work week to keep up on e-mail, do tasks for my business, etc. doesn't make me happy at all. I also have to wear dressy shoes to work. I was wearing my black heeled boots, my standard in clothing because they look good with a skirt, jeans, dress pants, anything you want to wear with them.
The problem is these heels are more narrow than those in other heeled boots I've owned & worn out. They also tend to cause you to be tipsy if you walk too fast. As a New Yorker & efficiency freak who has some height, I do tend to walk fast & like to get where I need to go as quickly as I can.
So when I'm on my lunch break, after eating most of my lunch on the subway to get down there & after taking lunch late to accommodate for having to call people in Mountain Time (where it's 12 p.m. vs. 2 p.m. where I'm at), I notice that I need to be on the other side of the street to get to the bank & the crosswalk light is a flashing hand.
As I normally would do, I try to hustle across the street before the light changes.
Unfortunately, my boot decides to get tipsy. I feel myself stumble & at first, I think I'll be able to correct myself & stay up. I'm not too bad at doing that. However, my luck runs out & I fall onto the hard road as the light has changed.
A guy asked if I was okay. Still in shock & being the type to just pick myself up & keep going, I got up & said I was fine.
It wasn't until after I start walking down the street that I noticed the shock is still in my left foot. I end up hobbling to Wells Fargo, with no one really caring.
Going into Wells Fargo while hobbling in a short skirt with my pantyhose ripped up at the knee (a new pair, by the way), you'd think someone would have noticed or wondered about this. Nope, they apparently see this everyday since no one (customer or employee) says a word to me.
Now, I may be a fairly self-sufficient person (and you kind of have to be to survive in a major city) but there are plenty of friendly New Yorkers & concerned folk. I have seen compassion toward strangers happen lots of times. Maybe I should be glad that they didn't make me fill out the deposit slip to put my sister's money in but maybe that should just be a bare minimum baseline kindness kind of thing when someone enters your bank like I did.
With my foot killing me, I decide to sit down for a moment. I know I have to call work so I did that as well as my husband. The husband told me to go to the doctor or the hospital. Lucky for me, he was off that day but returning from going out with a friend.
While I was on the phone & trying to decide what to do, 2 different Wells Fargo employees were calling customers over while I had my foot elevated on a table. You'd think that would have drawn some questions or concern.
Nope. Still had no one say a word to me or even ask if I was okay. You'd think they'd have asked me to move my foot (hard to do this in a short skirt, by the way & not have your underwear showing to the world).
Time for another history interlude.
History Interlude #2: When I was in college, I had a job as a courier. I had to go to a US Post Office further out in Atlanta & pick up mail to be delivered to offices not far from my campus. I did this 6 days a week & drove my own car.
I also had a work study job at my campus museum. One good thing about the job was you could do your homework there & there was a big table with a chair that an employee could sit at positioned right at the elevator (the only entrance guests could use to get to the museum). I was not only working there on the weekends, I later became a weekend supervisor.
One Saturday morning while I was loading plastic tubs of mail into my car, I stepped off the platform wrong & twisted my right foot.
That day, I had not only my jobs to go to but a Halloween party at another campus to go to (this was at a frat where we had friends & many members had dated members, including me; I was more of an in-between with that crowd & the frats at my campus). I had a costume planned & would be getting a ride so no way was I going to miss it. I also couldn't get out of work because I may have been weekend supervisor at the time & was the one who had keys + knew the alarm code. No way could I get out of that.
Another important historical piece to note here: medical care on my campus was a total joke. The nurse's office was not open on evenings or weekends. The nearest doctor's office also offered sub-standard care. I was also on my mother's insurance & when I tried using it, I always got hassle over it. I was also hurt in my driving foot & essentially unable to do so, despite finishing my job (which I had no choice on). It was just like being unable to drive & since we had no shuttle + I wasn't about to ask anyone to drive me someplace (Who was I going to ask anyway since I lived alone & had never had success at doing that?), I was stuck. Public transit there was also close to nil with a 30 minute wait per MARTA bus at the stop closest to me.
So, facing all that I engaged in self-medication. I elevated my foot the entire day I was at work, slathered Icy Hot on it & wore a slipper over it. I even went to that party wearing my heeled shoe that was part of the costume & stayed sitting the whole time.
I don't remember still having this foot hurt me by Monday so I felt I probably did the right thing in my methods.
[End of History Interlude #2]
Remembering this whole college experience the last time I hurt my foot & realizing that A) I had insurance now (and good insurance at that), B) my doctor was nearby & C) we could afford it, I decided it was better to be safe than sorry & called the doctor. I was originally going to hail a cab but that plan didn't work so I hobbled over there from where I was.
In the meantime, my husband offered to get my laptop from work after my boss agreed to put it away for me (since I'm paranoid about expensive equipment I have to use for business being out in plain sight for people to steal or mess up in some way). I waited at the doctor's office.
When they finally saw me, I got bandaged as well as prescriptions for crutches, pain medication & orders to go to the nearby X-ray technician the next day (since by this time, it was after 5 p.m. & they were closed). I also got an ice pack for my ankle & a good view of it (massively swollen). I was instructed to take off the bandage the next day, told it would take 2 weeks to heal & the worst pain would be on Friday.
Dreading stairs on the subway, we were able to get a cheaper car service to take us home. Oh, and I did traverse the street wearing my other heeled boot & my crutches (which gave me an inch in height). We used the same car service the next day to get to & from the X-ray tech's office.
I learned that my ankle wasn't broken, just sprained. I'll have to call my doctor Monday to see if I can get more details since I didn't get more than that.
I suppose another history interlude is in order, though more brief.
History Interlude #3: I never had any major childhood injuries. No broken bones, no need for stitches (my sister wasn't as lucky on that front), nothing. The worst I had was a sprained ankle in the 6th grade where I got to miss school for a day & came back two days after I fell.
[End of History Interlude #3]
So, I really hate being immobile. You take little things for granted like being able to go upstairs. NYC has TONS of stairs & very little handicap accessibility. My own local subway stop isn't handicap accessible & I live on the 2nd floor where I have only stairs to get me to my home.
There are some good sides, I suppose:
1. I do have a railing on my stairs so I can use that as support. Some stairs are just built into walls.
2. I only live on the 2nd floor, not in a 4th or 5th floor walk-up. Man, I'd hate that.
3. My arms are killing me but my husband says I'll have more upper body strength after all this since I have to use my arms to move my weight instead of my legs.
4. I've not had to berate too many people while on crutches. I only had to do this to one guy when we were getting into our car yesterday. I said "Injured person here. Thank you." Yes, even if I'm injured I will still hurt someone if I have to.
5. I'm fortunate to be married to a man who's had those major childhood injuries & knows a thing or two about broken bones. I think those people make the best caregivers since they've actually been there & understand your plight. He'll also make me work hard & has been calling me "Crutchy," "Hop-a-long," etc. Oh, and I almost forgot "Hoppy" because I can actually hop fairly well on my good foot. As a reference, I did get first place in a sack race on a field day event in middle school.
6. I can do my job from home. I already proved I could be productive since I did it before so I didn't have to argue to get to do it. Plus, I'd rather not lose the money or back out of the commitment I made to it.
Not really happy about the lack of sympathy I've seen in some circles, though (and you bet I won't be seeing those folks in the hospital or helping them out if they get hurt). I'm also annoyed about not getting to do things I'd planned next week such as go to Monday's improv class (unless someone else wants to drive me or pay for car service to get me there & back).
I have to pray I'll be able to go to an event I won admission to on Friday (though when I mentioned that change of plan to the person responsible for the vouchers, do you think she even said so much as "I'm sorry" in response? Hell no!) that will give me CLE credits. I also have to hope I can make it for the performance that's part of my improv class the next week.
My foot's feeling better today but too many people who've suffered sprains have said not to rush the healing & spoken of recurring pain for rushing the healing process that I think I'll have to wait until the date my doctor said my foot would be 100% before I attempt to go back to the office for work. At least going to Friday's event or even an improv event, I won't have to carry more than my purse.
The road wasn't messed up or you bet I'd be suing the city. I don't really blame my sister or my bank but I do blame Wells Fargo for this (though I have a business checking account there). I'm also tempted to ask my sister for combat pay since I wouldn't have been down there if I'd not been doing her a favor. Not sure I have a case against Wells Fargo or I'd do it.
Maybe we should also rethink forcing women to wear heels & uncomfortable shoes in the workplace. If you ask me, the requirement is sexist & maybe I should smack someone for that as well. I don't tend to trip so much in my sneakers. Plus, I've been hearing way too many stories lately about women with collapsed arches because of years of having to wear heels. Next thing you know, that's going to be a legal cause against employers just like repetitive motion injuries suffered by typists & the like. A heel stabbed in some chauvinist's forehead might make him think twice about supporting that aspect of a dress code.
Some good openings here for financial institutions & women's shoe designers to step up & make life easier for all. Make it affordable + accessible to me (and the shoes have to look cute vs. old ladyish) and I'm in.
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