Another "Am I Getting Old" Query; Guys Skipping Drinks & Telling Girls to "Come Over" Sight Unseen

So being divorced & looking like me, you can imagine I get asked out a lot. Now having been out of the market for a while it's certainly possible trends pass you by and the rules change. Think of your typical movie or sitcom when someone's just gotten out of a long term relationship (dead spouse, divorce, whatever) and someone more "hip" to the dating scene advises the newly single character about it.

One of the biggest things I've seen & rules instilled into me concerning online dating or interactions online in general is "Never meet a potential date for the first time in their home." Countless stories abound about women in particular going to meet someone after responding to a job ad or a personals ad or talking to someone on an online dating site and ended up being kidnapped, raped, sold into prostitution, murdered or whatever bad thing you can imagine. E!, 20-20 and plenty of media outlets have covered stories on these things for a good 20 years or so.

With the constant drumbeat of "strangers are scary" and "don't be off by yourself with total strangers," I'm puzzled by guys who tell women to "come over" when they've been corresponding with them online and want to meet them. Hello, you forgot something. What about "getting drinks" in a public setting? "Grabbing dinner?" "Getting coffee?" SOMETHING??!?!?!

Men pulling this shit, let me tell you how that sounds to women. Women (at least those with half a brain) hear: "I think you're a booty call or a sex toy I can pull out at will, not a human being with feelings or a life. I will never take you out in the light of day because you aren't worth it."

Do you know what type of women come to your house sight unseen to fuck you? Call girls!!! There's a business around that practice. Essentially another form of prostitution. Call girls cost money. They aren't running a charity operation.

Smart, higher class call girls (the category an educated woman would fall into if she were doing it as a profession) don't show up to your doorstep without being vetted. They usually have agencies to verify the guy is not a cop, serial killer and so forth.

Call girls & prostitutes also have pimps to protect them from men who lure them into gang rape situations, kidnappings, physical assault, etc. Women who don't charge you money for that don't have pimps.

Now if you want to be a call girl & it's not illegal where you are, go right ahead. Otherwise, you're playing with fire & you could end up in jail. We'll save the legal debates & morality of safety or not for another day.

Here's why asking women you talk to on dating sites about that is a bad idea:

1. Sane women with some self-esteem will think you are labeling them as call girls or hookers. They will find it offensive. Women from certain backgrounds will definitely not talk to you. You want a nice, Christian girl you can take home to Mama? She's not going to pop up at your house with no date or public meeting beforehand. She'll be done with you the minute you ask her to "come over." I'm sure Jewish, Muslim, Catholic and girls from other religious backgrounds would concur.

2. How do you know the women you're talking to are who they say they are? You can lie very easily online. For all you know, that hot blonde could be a 60 year old sweaty, fat guy who just got out of jail & has a real craving for young, hard bodied dick.

You could also end up with some ugly fat woman who could be Hillary Clinton's twin. That'll really turn you on, won't it?

Or she could be a 15 year old crack whore. Or she could be another Alieen Wuornos (look her up if you don't know who she is) or a wild dick chopper. You ever hear about the Craig's List Killer? People can hide shit very easily through e-mail and text and dating sites.

3. You've set the tone for future interactions. It's not "I'll take you out and treat you as a lady." Most women don't want to be a booty call or a sex toy, no matter what they tell you. They want you to show them respect and do nice stuff for them with a pure heart, not a selfish quid pro quo intent.

4. Women will assume you have no sisters, mothers, aunts, cousins, nieces, or female friends & if you do, you don't give a damn about them. If your sister met a guy & he told her to "come over," would you be okay with that?

Would you be okay with your female friends or your mother serving as the sex delivery girl to some strange guy? A trillion dollars says you'd be infuriated at the guy asking some female you cared about such a thing. I have my own male friends & I'm sure if I told them some guy asked me that, they'd not like you very much either.

Then why is it okay for you to ask some random woman that if you'd not like that being asked of YOUR female loved ones?

5. The world isn't Tinder. Some people don't use Tinder b/c they aren't looking for "wham bam thank you ma'am" to never hear from that guy again. Personally, if I had a good time with a guy I'd want to do it again. I find the one night stand stuff offensive since that's insulting my sexual technique & telling me I'm not that good in bed. I've been told I think like a guy so if I'm saying this, imagine how your average woman feels about it.

I've heard guys actually debate women on caring about their personal safety, including professional types. I think it would serve them right to invite a chick over & she chops their heads off with a machete. Bet you'd not be insulting strange women again once your buddy had his head chopped off with a sword like in Highlander. You'd definitely think twice if a recently released convict showed up on your doorstep instead of some blonde model you expected.

As I understand the world of dating, you set up a first meeting in a public place for dinner/drinks/coffee/whatever you want. You meet in person, make sure who you're talking to is who shows up, verify no one is a criminal, have conversation, see what sort of vibes you get, maybe engage in some physical contact like kissing THEN decide if you're going back to anyone's place. THEN maybe you'll have sex.

I find the above reasonable. You're in a neutral zone. Everyone concerned is making an informed decision and engaging in any future sexual acts on their own consent (presuming no one was drugged & everyone's still sober or at least not blackout drunk). I don't drink so I'd be making that choice sober and with my full mental faculties. There's an option to leave, say "I'm not interested" and go on your merry way.

If you go to some guy's house, he could try trapping you unless you give him what he wants. Women have gotten raped that way. Who saw you there? If something happened to you, who's going to say they saw you, heard you, how long you were there, etc. Maybe a neighbor or if you're lucky, there's a doorman. Lots of buildings don't have them. No sign in sheets, no security, nothing.

In a restaurant or a bar or lounge, there are employees and patrons who'll likely see things, tell the police if it looked like you were being coerced, maybe security cam footage to show if people were in their right minds when they left, etc. They are less likely to fear retribution from some random bar customer vs. the neighbor or security people having to fear reprisal from someone who might be the head of the co-op board or will make their lives hell in some way that they can't just ban or get away from easily.

So do you want women to think you're a rapist, a cheapskate, a sexist, a man who insults their intelligence (which I particularly hate), a sexist or a creepy pervert? None of those are a good look.

Ladies, if you are engaging in hookups by never having a first meeting in public & being a sex delivery girl you are doing it wrong unless you are collecting call girl money and getting call girl vetting done for you complete with a call girl pimp for protection.

You are also fucking it up for all the "nice" girls and the women who might consider these dudes if these dudes didn't have unrealistic expectations of actual women. When these jerkbags get onto sites that aren't Tinder, you're really messing things up for those daters. Not everyone wants to be on Tinder or deal with that scene.

I also wonder if they're fucking things up for certain demographics of call girls. Don't they have enough shit to deal with already? Must you also put them out of business?

Oddly enough, I have a review coming up & this subject somewhat relates to it.

What the Holy Fuck?!?! Craig's List Ads, Part 4

This is mostly the shitty businesses & law firms edition though one of these is an "I can't believe someone wrote THAT." Oh, here goes:

paralegal / attorney (lwr manhat)
Date: 2012-05-07, 6:31AM EDT

Reply to: kpjt3-2993555389@gigs.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

minority ssolo needs a paralegal / attorney to draft motions / pleadings / research, reply with your areas of experience

Location: lwr manhat
it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2993555389

I felt compelled to respond to this. Here's what I said:

Do you mention being a "minority ssolo" b/c I'm supposed to feel sorry for you? How is that detail in any way relevant to this type of work?

Writer also doesn't = attorney or even paralegal. Too many people post those ads there thinking they can pay a professional, licensed individual like an attorney the same rate they'd pay a Wal-Mart cashier or a minimum wage worker. If they don't want to pay market rates, maybe they should be asking that Wal-Mart cashier to do the work. It's unauthorized practice of law but seems these cheapskates don't really care about being professionals anyhow.

I also have zero sympathy for someone offering "no pay" for this kind of work. Plenty of solos have to do things THEMSELVES & don't expect total strangers to serve as slave labor. Maybe you should get off this "minority" thing, offer a fair wage (or at the very least travel expenses) & maybe then you'd be taken seriously. Otherwise, expect derision & anger from strangers who don't care about your practice + have their own bills to pay.

Don't forget that you get what you pay for & quality costs money.

Do you think my company posts ads for jobs touting women & minority ownership or mentions the ethnicity of the CEO, COO or other members of the leadership team? I don't think that's relevant unless your company's projects relate to that in some way. A law firm should NEVER post an ad like this, misspellings aside.

Seeing this in an ad in such a fashion feels to me like you're trying to get freebies & favors b/c of your minority status. Don't we have enough problems with negative stereotypes & things like affirmative action without people doing this to themselves? I don't personally need a handout, thank you. I also don't have a high opinion of others who beg for them when I know so many worse off individuals who never asked for a thing from anyone or had an entitlement complex because of their life circumstances.

Now, let's talk about the people with unrealistic expectations who are couching slave labor as internships. A prime example:

Graphic Design Intern (West Village)

Date: 2012-06-27, 5:58PM EDT
Reply to: fmpjb-3105241104@gigs.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

LOOKING FOR AN AMAZING GRAPHIC DESIGN INTERN. Need a simple logo and business card design for an amazing company! Also need flyers designed. Send your portfolio, references and a resume. Tell me why you are out of the box.

Potential growth and future projects available. Tell me what your about. And How I can help! :)

Can work from home. MUST BE ORGANIZED, ATTENTION TO DETAIL and MEET DEADLINES.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 3105241104

I also responded to this asshole. Here's what I said:

So, you want a portfolio & references from an INTERN and have no words about teaching anybody ANYTHING. And you have the gall to demand "ORGANIZED, ATTENTION TO DETAIL and MEET DEADLINES?!?!"

This just sounds like you want a slave.

How about paying a PROFESSIONAL designer a market rate? Creativity in this arena has a value & it does have a price just like any other skill. Would YOU want to do this for some company where you will not receive a damn thing or even equity? No?

Then go fuck yourself & either pay a professional a fair wage or do it yourself! You get what you pay for & Craig's List strangers do NOT give a shit about you or your problems.

And, no I as a stranger do NOT care about your business or your problems. I've got plenty of my own & so does everybody else on this planet. Before I care, you're going to have to actually be nice to me. Or (gasp!) treat me with some basic respect. That goes for plenty of other people as well but especially me.

Who wants to bet these jerk-offs have no friends? If they did, they sure wouldn't post ads on Craig's List gigs & jobs sections asking for freebies. A friend might actually take pity on you & do it or give you a good deal.

Then, more lawyer/law firm fails. Here you go:

LAW STUDENT INTERNSHIP (Midtown)Date: 2012-06-07, 10:15AM EDT

Reply to: ntvpj-3062816424@job.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Well known midtown law firm seeks an intern for its litigation department. Interns at our firm will learn all about litigation in New York through hands on experience. You will NOT be filing or making photocopies! Our firm's areas of practice are employment law, personal injury, real estate, medical litigation. Each intern will have the opportunity to attend depositions, court proceedings, and even trials. Although it is an unpaid position, you will gain real legal experience. This is a true learning experience!

Hours M-F 10-4:30

Please email resume and be ready to interview and start immediately!

Compensation: Unpaid
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 3062816424

Here's what I said in response:

I think you're full of shit when you claim to practice employment law & when you claim to be a "well known midtown law firm." Are you well known for VIOLATING labor laws since that's what you're doing with this ad?

Add up the hours you list: that's 32 & 1/2 hours a WEEK. That's NOT an "internship," that's a cheap exploitation attempt. Most internships are about 20 hours a week. Even law schools don't allow students to work that many hours during the school year. I also see NOTHING about school credit or even travel reimbursement.

Do you think that because you're some "well known" firm that you are exempt from state & federal labor laws? Do any of your managing attorneys even HAVE licensing in NY state because this sounds like an ethics violation to me. Go read up on the attorney ethics rules & how attorneys don't get to violate state or federal laws.

Here's hoping you get shut down real quick. If you can't afford travel reimbursement or to take on multiple interns to avoid violating the law & their abilities to make a living (most law students don't live in dorms or have trust funds), don't waste the time of Craig's List readers posting such insulting crap like this. I'm surprised you don't also require the intern to shine your shoes & wax your cars considering the hours are tantamount to slavery. Oh, and you may want to consider the fact that business owners DO read things & are taking notes on how companies treat their staff. After all, if this is how you treat your prospective staff, I'd sure as hell not want to be your client.

The next law firm fail (these only get worse):

LAW STUDENT SUMMER INTERNS WANTED (Williamsburg, Brooklyn)
Date: 2012-07-08, 7:03PM EDT
Reply to: hgt7m-3126909185@job.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

A litigation law firm located in Brooklyn seeks 2 summer interns, who are current law school students. This internship is unpaid. Full time preferred. Interview this week and start immediately.

Excellent learning opportunity and many interesting projects to work on. Most work involves legal research and writing briefs for motions.

Please send an email with the following:

1. SUMMER INTERN APPLICANT in the subject line.
2. Say what year you're in law school.
3. Say your current law school GPA
4. Say whether you're on a journal or moot court
5. Give reason why you have not been employed this summer prior to employment, and if employed or otherwise doing something now, explain.
6. State your availability to start, whether you can work full time, and your last day of availability this summer.
7. Relay your relevant experience that could help you handling assigned tasks when it comes to NY/NJ civil litigation.
8. Attach PDF documents of your resume and cover letter with the above information.


Location: Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Compensation: Unpaid
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 3126909185

My response:

Wow, it seems your law firm is run by hipsters living off a trust fund. You also aren't very bright considering full time internships are illegal under state & federal labor laws. Oh, and the department of labor has been cracking down locally & nationally on employers doing illegal internships.

You DO know that the ethics rules bar attorneys from engaging in unethical conduct such as breaking the law. How do you think some full time intern is going to pay bills & eat? How will they even get there when I see ZERO mention of reimbursement for travel nor anything for clothing costs or dry cleaning since I'll bet you don't let people show up in shorts & T-shirts (items that can be washed in a machine)? Student loans don't cover living expenses in the summer; are you just looking for trust fund babies or people leeching off Mommy & Daddy?

My job is about a million times more interesting than I'm sure most of your cases are but I don't have the balls or the temerity to hire someone to be a FULL TIME intern & make that person PAY $100+ a month to work for me. Maybe I also have more ethics & care about my karma; clearly you don't.

I hope you get reported to the state bar for this & that you get what's coming to you for this garbage. I'm sure your little trust funding leeches will be wonderfully productive workers who exhibit loyalty to you; except they'll probably have zero work ethic & not give a damn. After all, why should they? Would YOU give a damn about this offer?

Would YOU be willing to do this? If not, get your head out of your ass & come back down to Earth.

Signed, A Lawyer Who Isn't an Egotistical Prick

I couldn't resist calling them hipsters because of the Williamsburg thing. It also seems like something a hipster would do, considering there is that company selling "Bottled Brooklyn."

Then, I read this ad:

NYC Law Firm Seeks Law Student for PT/FT Internship (get experience!) (Downtown)

Date: 2012-07-10, 11:58AM EDT
Reply to: xjb6p-3130301856@job.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


New York City based law firm seeks a motivated law student intern to help with day-to-day tasks. We are a young, growing firm with offices in Downtown Manhattan and Brooklyn. The practice is geared towards civil litigation and debt relief. This position will offer you the opportunity to learn nearly all facets of a small practice and will include regular interaction with clients and attorneys, research, drafting, clerical work and negotiations. Our office works as a team, we are willing to train you. Must be computer literate and comfortable speaking on the phone. Join our collegial environment and learn how law is practiced at the ground level. You will have the opportunity to obtain a great amount of practical experience.

Our line of work is very fulfilling and our clients tend to be grateful for our assistance. If you seek personal satisfaction in addition to great hands-on experience, then this may be the internship for you.

The internship is unpaid, however, school credit may be issued depending on your schools requirements. There is a possibility of this internship turning into a paid position in the future.

Applicant MUST be available for the duration of the summer AND continue during the upcoming semester. Part-time or full-time.

APPLICATION INSTRUCTIONS:
-Email us at the address above with the subject "Internship Application"
-Attach your resume to the email in .doc or .pdf format
-Write a brief cover letter in the body of the email stating the following:
1. Which school you are attending
2. What school year you are entering
3. Your interest and goals in seeking an internship
4. Indicate the extent of your availability for this summer and the upcoming semester
5. Indicate any relevant experience

We thank you for your interest in the firm and look forward to speaking with you shortly!

Compensation: TBD / Internship
This is a part-time job.
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 3130301856

My response?

By law, you can't solicit for FULL TIME internships. Go read up on state & federal labor laws; there have been crackdowns on illegal internships on the state & local level.

Plus, you're supposed to be lawyers & should know better than to violate the very laws you're supposed to be using to HELP people.

AND, you have the nerve to charge people $ (transit passes DO cost $; NYC travel ISN'T free) to do this. Who the hell do you think you are? I hope you get contacted by the grievance committee on this since exploitation should certainly be a grievable offense. Even law school work study programs for PUBLIC INTEREST work pay $10 an hour. You are NOT a public interest organization so it also sounds like you're trying to steal from those programs b/c you're too cheap to pay $104 a month for a monthly MetroCard.

Really, go to hell & stop living up to the negative attorney stereotypes. This epitomizes just why people hate lawyers.

Not to mention if you read the labor laws, you can't even say you might give someone a paying job in the future if they do an internship.

I swear, if I knew who any of these firms were or the people there, I'd be reporting them to the ethics committee in a second. We don't need to be standing for this shit & it makes the rest of us look scummy by association. Do we need MORE reasons for the public to hate lawyers as a whole? I have no loyalty to a group of scumbags who are just hurting my reputation as a lawyer as well as that of my lawyer friends who aren't entitled douchebags, exploiting new workers & if they're publicly posting these sorts of ads on Craig's List, doing God only knows what else. I don't associate with scumbags who'd do something like that & have never heard of a legitimate law firm soliciting slavery in such a blatant fashion.

Those pricks need to be publicly castigated & get what's coming for this mess. EVERYONE was new once & I'm sure people helped THEIR sorry little asses without forcing them to pay to work someplace or engaging in outright exploitation for ZERO dollars. Pay it forward, bitches!!! Pay it forward.

This doesn't just go to lawyers but for everyone in the working world. You aren't going to be there forever & you won't have all your mental faculties forever. Don't be a hoarding, jealous asshole to up & comers. The entertainment field is much better with its faster career trajectory.

Perhaps more respect for attorneys would lead to fewer ads like this one:

Need a small business contract revised. (Bronx)

Date: 2012-07-10, 1:34PM EDT
Reply to: nsbwr-3089680758@gigs.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


I have paper copies and have somethings to be edited&added. I would need it done asap. So serious inquries only and must have referance's.
Location: Bronx
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $60

PostingID: 3089680758

My response, though I still see this prick posting the same damn thing:

This is an ATTORNEY thing (meaning it's against the law to get a writer to do this if you expect it to protect you from legal liability; a smart writer wouldn't touch this if they had any aspiration of ever being a lawyer).

Plus, no sane person is doing this for 60. Attorneys charge over $100 AN HOUR for their work.

Have some respect for trained professionals or do it your damn self. You get what you pay for.

Want to keep encouraging this shit, attorneys?

To lighten the mood a little, here's that "I can't believe you posted THAT" ad:

~Masculine men 20-26 for upscale male execs~ (NY NJ)

Date: 2012-06-27, 6:52PM EDT
Reply to: 4pdsq-3094214438@gigs.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


In search of masculine males 20-26 for male for male executives and people of influence.
Interested? Do you have what it takes? Look good dressed and undressed? Comfortable with male for male interaction?
Masculine? Discreet? Sane? Open minded? Hot? Good oral skills? (understand?)
Interested and qualified...send e-mail with pictures - face, shirtless chest, body and brief description of why you are right for this opportunity.
No Pictures will get no response.

Location: NY NJ
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: Per opportunity

PostingID: 3094214438

Apparently, the Craig's List Talent Gigs section in my area has become a section to solicit prostitution & hire for adult work. Now in fairness, I think the adult film work & things that aren't illegal in this state but that I don't care to see in "talent" or have associated with my company's business/work as a mainstream entertainment company should get a separate adult section even if it's under a new name.

I don't even intellectually have a problem with escort ads & this sort of thing (which are solicitations for prostitution) but it's illegal in this state so they shouldn't get a forum in the Craig's List "Talent" section which is supposed to be for mainstream entertainment folk. What next, ads asking to buy drugs or offering them for sale? If drug dealers & users can't do that, why should escort services get to? Plus, I'd rather not see it in the talent section; it belongs in the personals since it's "personal" services after all. I believe that's also where you find those ads in the Village Voice.

For me, it's more enforce the laws for everyone or enforce them for no one. The directness of it just made me laugh.

So, it's not just law firms doing appalling internship/slavery ads but apparently a bike shop in Williamsburg (more damn hipsters) also has screwy ideas. Consider this:

Bicycle Start up needs two summer college interns (Williamsburg)

Date: 2012-06-27, 2:43PM EDT
Reply to: tdhhd-3099726729@gigs.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


We are looking for two college interns to work at a fast paced bicyle start up in WIlliamsburg. There are two different roles. One is to help build the actual bikes and requires a techincal background, you should know your way around bikes, cars, motorcycles and understanding of basic tools is required. The second role is for a junior SEM/SEO position which will have your managing posting ads and managing emails and responses for sales. Both are paid postions. Please email a resume and picture to sales (at) spcarbon.com Be sure to check out www.facebook.com/spcarbon and www.spcarbon.com to have an idea of what we do. This is a big opportunity which lots of room for growth and we can also help you to get school credit. Thanks

Location: Williamsburg
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: Hourly pay.

PostingID: 3099726729

Growing bike company needs its summer intern (Union Square)

Date: 2012-06-27, 2:37PM EDT
Reply to: tmvr8-3099782056@gigs.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Growing company needs its summer intern !!! Take this opportunity to create website content, edit videos, work on professional pictures, give your ideas and opinions, be a part of a real creative project building high end bicyles in WIlliamsburg off the L train. We need two interns that can do some of the following: Be creative, willing to learn, follow instructions, know some HTML, web design, graphic design, video/photo editing. creative writing, photoshop and illustrator, facebook, pinterest, social networks. Nobody is perfect so we know you will probably not fit each and every of the criterias above. If you are creative and knowledgeable, please send resume and picture to sales (at) spcarbon.com

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: hourly pay

PostingID: 3099782056

Did you read these carefully? Notice what they asked for that's illegal? Personal photographs of their applicants. That prompted this note:

Are you seriously asking intern candidates to send in personal photographs? Are you on crack?

That's a total violation of EEOC & you're just asking to get sued for unfair employment practices. Why do you think there are no job ads that say "black people need not apply" or "no white people will be considered?" You need to be getting some legal counsel ASAP since you're going to get sued for this. I'll laugh my butt off when you get fined or lose your little company after getting hammered for violating labor laws.

Not to mention this sort of thing tells your potential clients & vendors a LOT about the type of company you are as well as your total lack of ethics, sense of fair play, etc. If you're looking for fuck puppets, try the personals section.

Yes, to me a business asking for applicant photographs is = to "I'm looking for someone to have sex with and will abuse my power as an employer/person paying your bills to make that person you. I don't give a shit about your personal relationships to anyone else."

I think people like that need to be shot & emasculated, male or female. Perhaps they should patronize one of those escort services if they want to get laid & are too repulsive for any decent person to even consider kissing on the mouth. I wonder if legalizing prostitution would reduce the number of people using the guise of a job to get sexual services from some unwitting victim who just wants to earn an honest living.

What the Holy Fuck?!?!? Craig's List Ads, Part 3

Before I end up getting busier (meaning even less frequent updates), I've seriously seen some ads lately that make me scratch my head & wonder what drugs these people are on.

First off, some demands for full time internships:

Commercial Casting Internship (Midtown West)

Date: 2012-02-15, 5:27PM EST
Reply to: telseycommercialinternship@gmail.com [Errors when replying to ads?]

Telsey + Co. is seeking commercial interns for the winter/spring! PLEASE NOTE: we are currently only looking for interns to work exclusively with our commercial department.

Interns will be exposed to all aspects of commercial casting and will get a lot of experience in the audition room. Duties include organizing scripts/commercial copy, researching potential talent, helping set up and run sessions, putting out appointments and assisting with administrative tasks.

We are looking for interns who are good with technology and have a strong desire to learn and an interest in commercial/television/film casting. You must be comfortable using a Mac. Knowledge of QuickTime Pro, Toast and Microsoft Word are also a big plus. You should be a team player who is detail-oriented and displays strong communication skills. Directing skills also a big plus.

There is a very high level of responsibility in this internship program. We are looking for full-time, Monday through Friday, 10am-6pm, and a 3- or 4-month commitment, beginning between now and early March. This is full-time, unpaid internship.

To apply, please send your cover letter and resume to David Morris at telseycommercialinternship@gmail.com and put "Commercial Internship" in the subject line.

Compensation: Unpaid
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2853384582

Prop/Art Intern Needed (Greenwich Village)

Date: 2012-03-06, 3:37PM EST
Reply to: djwwm-2888052091@job.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I am searching for a prop intern to help full time on a feature film shooting in the city. We're looking to fill this position immediately. Experience is desired but not necessary.
You will be assisting the props department on an independent feature film. The work will include both research/shop work as well as On-Set work. The position requires you to be independent, aggressive and patient. Common sense and problem solving under pressure are critical. The compensation will be credit for your work as well as all the contacts and experience that you'll make working on the project itself. The position is FULL TIME only (with weekends off) unfortunately. Please submit a resume and cover letter.
Thank you.
Compensation: Experience, credit, and contacts
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2888052091

And just today, I saw yet another ad seeking a full time intern for help on a feature film shoot. Telsey + Co. is supposed to be legit as I've actually heard of them. That ad just tells me not to deal with them since clearly, they're either into exploiting people or haven't bothered to consult with a lawyer before posting ads that violate state & federal labor laws (aside from being insulting to the 99% who have to pay bills). Neither possibility looks good. No sane business person should strive to be incompetent or a total asshole.

Seriously, folks. Think before you post. Do you want the public to read them & say "Hmmm, how would this company treat ME if they're expecting a total stranger to PAY for the privilege of working full time for them? I bet they'll screw me over as well."

I understand the good of the team and all that but civilized people realize that if someone isn't being given equity, they're just not going to be motivated to do all that much.

To the second company, which is in my turf so definitely something I'll take personally as someone in this business doing the same thing & not wanting my rep harmed by this shit I had this to say:

Are you brain dead? Read up on state & federal laws. FULL TIME internships, which is what you posted here, are illegal. Clearly you're trying to couch this as an "intern" position to weasel out of paying someone who has skills & a financial value in the marketplace.

Saying you want "experience" is further evidence of you trying to exploit people. We aren't stupid.

I have my own entertainment company & when there's lots of work to be done & no $ to pay someone, we don't expect a stranger to work FULL TIME HOURS for us. The CEO doesn't even expect the partners to give up paying work for unpaid work. Most people aren't independently wealthy & have to pay their bills.

There are also plenty of opportunities to network in the entertainment field, get experience & credit for projects without having to work FULL TIME for NO PAY. In fact, I see nothing of travel reimbursement so not only are you insulting people by telling them they are worthless you are adding financial injury by making the person pay $104 a month for a MetroCard to travel for YOUR benefit. My company would never, in a million years, expect someone to PAY to work for us.

Maybe you should consider 2-3 people for 10-20 hours each instead of risking a well deserved crackdown on your business by state & federal labor authorities. There HAVE been crackdowns on this kind of thing.

Want to work with some trust fund baby who lives off their parents & can do this at their expense? Good luck. Even that person would resent you & not care. You may also want to start shelling out for a lawyer since you're going to need one if you think the labor laws don't apply to Craig's List ads.

Oh, and would YOU pay to work full time for a business you didn't own as an INTERN? Would you even work for free FULL TIME for that business (getting your travel costs reimbursed)? If you wouldn't, why should anyone else?

Signed, A Professional Who Knows the Law & How This Industry Actually Works

Yes, ad posters! If you would get mad at me for asking you to work for free or spend money to do something mostly benefiting me, then don't expect others to do it.

Oh, and here's an example of a moron in the legal field with the same attitude:

Assistant to help with paperwork (Midtown)

Date: 2012-02-29, 2:23PM EST
Reply to: rpxkp-2877459060@gigs.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I'm a young lawyer with a small practice. I need help with tasks such as going to the post office, filing papers in court, retrieving papers from court, making photocopies, drafting letters, etc. In exchange I will train you as a proper paralegal and give you excellent references. The time commitment is 5-10 hours a week.

This is a great opportunity for someone who wants first-hand legal experience without a huge time commitment. The right candidate may evolve the position into something more permanent. In the meantime, all I can offer is training focused on the technical aspects of private law practice.

If you are considering law school, this is a great way to see what you are in for as a lawyer in the "new legal economy."

You must have your own laptop and Metrocard.
Location: Midtown
it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2877459060

Sorry but my altruism has long since evaporated. I definitely responded to this one.

Clearly, you are a younger lawyer than I am or just incredibly naive. I've been an attorney for over 4 years & I'm not arrogant enough to think someone wants to be my assistant FOR FREE. My field is probably also far more exciting than yours & more likely to compel someone to use their personal resources to work for me.

However, the difference b/t you & me is I have integrity. I would not demand someone use their PERSONAL laptop or demand them to have a monthly Metrocard to work for me since that's them PAYING to work for ME; in fact, no one has any business getting an assistant (who's not volunteered to do it) unless they can pay him/her. Those cards cost over $100 a MONTH & only people who already have full time jobs can typically afford them. Think for a second: if someone's got a full time job paying a salary, then why would they work for YOU for FREE?

This is not even an internship in the strict sense of the word: this is just asking for free labor. Even in college, I earned money at my part time jobs & applied for legal jobs offering to PAY for these tasks. This doesn't even sound like something a student could get course credit for.

Maybe I'm horribly jaded since I've dealt with scammers first hand & read some tales about attorneys behaving no better but I would never advise someone do this. If you can't even provide a computer/phone & travel reimbursement, you need to grow up & get used to how life in business actually works.

You're better off asking a friend or family member that gives a damn about you instead of expecting total strangers to fall all over themselves to spend their money to work for YOU. Do YOU like working for free (no CLE credit & not even a travel reimbursement or deduction in taxes)? Would you work for minimum wage for clients? If not, read your ad again & tell me why anyone would want to pay to do this for you when they could do it for free at a legitimate law firm (through a temp agency or applying directly to law firms). Oh, and people DO read these ads & make judgments on you based on how you're treating prospective employees. Expecting them to pay says to me that you're probably shitty to your clients.

Yeah, the Angry Redheaded Lawyer may be many things but an exploiter I am not. I have to wonder who has the balls to post this type of ad; I noticed it was gone very quickly from Craig's List. Hopefully, some other attorneys felt the same way.

Oh, and if I didn't already have motivation not to work in a law firm after reading about the guy who died at 35 due to working constant 20 hour days at a mid-sized firm this ad symbolizes even more why most firms are messed up in their hiring practices:

Stellar-Credentialed Litigation Associate (NYC)

Date: 2012-01-13, 7:18PM EST
Reply to: job-e6hwp-2798757567@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Top litigation firm has a need for a Midlevel Litigation Associate with 3-4 years of litigation experience. You will have the opportunity diversity of matters and a lot of responsibility as the matters are staffed leanly. The firm's attorneys work hard but are very collegial with each other. The candidate who is hired for this position will have top academic credentials (see below) and will also be the right personality fit (though a good personality, alone, will, unfortunately, not make up for less-than-stellar credentials). Please have a JD from a Top 25 law school and a 3.5+ GPA. Please submit resume/law school transcript to be considered.
Location: NYC
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2798757567

At least in the entertainment field, your personality matters more than if you were on law review or went to Yale. This sounds like you could be a total fuck up as a litigator practicing law in real life but if you were a law school superstar, it's a-okay. Way to live up to the negative stereotypes, folks!

Then there's the blatant sexual harassment ads:

MODEL SECRETARY - ASSISTANT TO CEO EXECUTIVE $1000 PER WEEK (Midtown West)

Date: 2012-01-06, 10:02PM EST
Reply to: gigs-uvvzz-2787302933@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Professional Executive CEO seeking model assistant for everyday needs.

Must Be Open Minded, Young & Fun. Must be able to mix "business and pleasure"

Please send your recent photos, available start date & what are you ready to offer.

Serious Inquires Only
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $1000

PostingID: 2787302933

Please God, let this guy end up with a wicked STD or a woman who'll bite off his dick as soon as look at it (because how many women have you seen posting such ads)! Creeps like that totally deserve such things. As long as we have the Village Voice personal ads & prostitutes, there's no excuse for using secretary & assistant jobs to harass women who need money & don't want to become strippers or prostitutes. I'd like to see a return to the adult section for this smut instead of Talent Gigs. "Professional Executive?" Ha! Maybe "Professional Predator."

It also makes me wonder if we'd see less of this crap if prostitution were legal. Personally, I'm in favor of legalized prostitution with some regulation like mandatory testing for STDs, access to contraceptives (since you don't want your prostitutes getting pregnant & having to take maternity leave), no minors, no kidnapping or forcing women into it & fair splits. You can't deny that people have always & will always have sex + it could be a money maker. Done right, maybe it would make politics more honest if we got over this puritanical mindset & ethos that's threatening to ruin the U.S. as we know it. Even the pimps could be like franchisees & have their own offices.

Finally, we come to people who just have no freaking clue. Consider this budding genius:

Need idea for a new project? ~~Stock Trading Documentary (Financial District)

Date: 2012-03-06, 2:44AM EST
Reply to: rsfpr-2887088642@job.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I am 20 years old and coming to New York City for the first time this summer to be an intern at two different currency trading firms.

I have been a day trader with real money since high school. I have been dealing mostly in currencies and stocks however i have also traded bonds and commodities.
I will be living in an apartment and commuting to 7 World Trade Center to intern at one firm, while working for another firm all while continuing to day trade in my free time.

This is a very high paced industry and a documentary following my time in the city this summer could make for a great project if you are up for the task. No compensation is provided.
Compensation: None
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2887088642

This utterly clueless tone compelled me to respond. Here goes:

You need some lessons in how the entertainment industry works:

Lesson 1 - Filmmaking costs money. There's expensive equipment involved, permits, editing, etc. Saying "I'm not offering any pay" isn't going to cut it. Professional company = professional pay. Get the funding if you want this to happen.

Lesson 2 - Offering no money means you will not get interest from a quality film company & this little project won't go anywhere. Hope you've got a friend with a camera. Better yet, you should probably just do a video diary on You Tube since unless you can get permission from these employers to document your exploits, no one's going to care. I find it unlikely that these trading firms are going to let an intern bring in a filmmaker to tape him/her & the insides of their business.

Lesson 3 - If you have no skin in the game, you get no say & no ownership. Everyone has "an idea"; you'll also be signing a release & have no control over the final product unless you are a producer (meaning YOU have to get financing, fund it yourself & otherwise make sure it all comes together). People submit ideas ALL THE TIME. If you have no funds, a stranger's not going to care & if they do work with you, the final product might not be as you'd want it.

If you want this little documentary, go find a friend to do it. They might not mind buying film, renting equipment, doing editing, etc. on your behalf but the rest of us sure would. We have bills to pay & PAYING clients to concern ourselves with.

Signed, Someone Who ACTUALLY Works in the Entertainment Industry

If any professional filmmakers disagree, please let me know. Maybe YOU'D like to pay to work for this guy.

Then there's this person who thinks men are going to get naked for free:

Natural Redheads

Date: 2012-03-06, 8:19PM EST
Reply to: hsx8r-2888569775@gigs.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I want natural Redheads for a photography project. Men only.

There is NUDITY involved. 21+

This is a non-paying gig. TFP (trade for photos).

Send headshot and brief note if interested and want more information.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2888569775

I think even men would want money to disrobe. Here's my response:

You expect strangers to do a TFP with NUDITY for NO PAY & you want natural redheads? Why not just ask for unicorns that can sing the score to Avenue Q? That's how realistic your ad is. Nudity is a special event & requires at least travel reimbursement.

Every ad here asking for nudity offers a few hundred dollars for it & that's not necessarily for a group that makes up around 1% of the world's total population.

Yeah, if you want natural redheads (male or female) to get naked for you you'd better be offering at least double the standard rate. Perhaps quadruple. Give the doubles & triples to other minority groups that are less rare but not as common as white folks.

If that redhead isn't Caucasian, the rate goes even higher. Same for natural redheads who qualify as little people. That's basic economics. Rare things cost more.

If you manage to find mentally competent strangers willing to be photographed or videotaped naked for free & never demanding limits on public exhibition of the photos or video, then you're either a genius or have a talent for finding extremely apathetic people (you have to have done this while they were sober). Everyone will clamor for your secret & probably want to be your business partner since you'd likely make a fortune.

Between this & the lunatic fringe lately, it's probably a good thing I've got activities to occupy my time and incentives to use my brain for good vs. evil.

Why You're Never Going to See Pictures of Me on LinkedIn...& No, It's Not Because I'm Ugly

As you may know, it always disgusts me to see job ads posted on Craig's List where applicants are demanded to send in pictures of themselves. First off, if it's not an acting/modeling job or something where your looks are a part of it then you're announcing your intent to discriminate in ways that are against federal & state labor law. Second, what about actual SKILLS? Do you want some pretty little airhead or someone who's got some common sense? Since when did banks or law firms become fashion shows? I could point out plenty of people working in non-entertainment jobs who shouldn't be there if we're going to base employment on physical attractiveness. Anyone over a certain age would be out the door unless they'd had plastic surgery or a workout routine like that of the average celebrity. Third, whose standard are you using if you're basing job placement on looks? In entertainment, the answer is easy enough: the designer, production company, or whoever is producing the project.

The real world doesn't have producers & CEOs still have to obey labor laws.

Lastly, in the entertainment world there's artistic merit to hiring based on looks. What merit is there for doing it in a personal assistant job or a law firm associate or even a paralegal?

I read this article yesterday & it made me incensed.

Let me tell you that it's not just ugly people, minorities or old timers who don't want to display their pictures in job applications. No one would call me ugly (I'm industry pretty, remember?) & I won't do it. Here's why:

1. Unless it's a job where my looks actually matter, then WHY do you care? If they don't affect my abilities to perform the job at hand, it's not relevant. If it's icing on the cake, just think of it as some bonus in hiring me & not someone else. Just because someone is as pretty as me doesn't mean they can work as well as I can.

2. I have gotten through this life & earned opportunities without having to resort to my looks. I didn't use it to get through school or get my higher level entertainment positions. Again, they're a bonus to work with me specifically vs. "you must be a goddess to work here." I'd like to think I got my opportunities & grades because of my brain, not because anyone secretly lusted after me.

3. It's unprofessional. To me, using a picture is mixing business with pleasure & I'm happily married. Me using a picture for a non-looks based job is tantamount to me saying I'm sexually available. If I'm going to prostitute myself, I may as well just be a real prostitute & work on my own so I get to keep more of the money.

4. It perpetuates sexism in the workplace. One of my Twitter followers retweeted this story about a lawyer who was hiring a secretary to be a prostitute willing to engage in threesomes with his law firm partner.

Attorneys like this should be disbarred, no questions asked. Can we say "sexual predator?" If this guy is so hard up for sex, he should just hire a prostitute. Granted, this means legalizing prostitution (which I have no issue with as long as it's regulated, children aren't involved & we're talking about 100% consenting adults). Perhaps he ought to try dating, getting a mistress or doing something else that doesn't involve sexual harassment of some poor woman who's just trying to earn an honest living.

Saw this shit firsthand, as you may recall so I take serious offense to this kind of thing. Not to mention that whole higher standard of conduct for attorneys? If we toss out domestic abusers, guys like this should definitely have to go. It seems to me he's broken the law.

Another way it perpetuates sexism? If there are other females in the office, this guy has just told them (in so many words) that if they want a chance for advancement or to not get lost in the next round of layoffs, they're going to have to put out. Isn't the job market shitty enough for women (lower wages, history of discrimination & harassment) without allowing assholes like this to use their power position to rape them? If there are strip clubs that don't make their dancers have sex with people to keep working, why should anyone get to demand that of women not working in the adult industry (I don't know enough about the employment experience at strip clubs to determine whether anyone has to do that & we can save the ethics of requiring dancers to do it for another day)?

5. If you're that curious, you can find out for yourself what I look like. There's no duty on me to make it easier for anyone to find out what I look like.

6. I'm extremely wary of strangers so if you approach me in real life & I don't know you, I might hurt you thinking you're out to harm, harass or otherwise piss me off in some way. I have had stalkers before & that was long before working in this business. One can never be too careful.

I don't understand this trend of telling people to put pictures of themselves on social media profiles viewed by employers or adding these to resumes. Have we forgotten about racial discrimination? Age discrimination? Gender discrimination? Religious discrimination (you may be wearing religious attire in your picture)? As a potential employer, I don't want to know this stuff or open myself or my company up to being accused of it.

It would serve these jerks right to be sued for employment discrimination & have to pay a fortune to a person of color, old timer or some other discriminated person. That would teach a lesson & send a clear message to other companies. This Eve Tahmincioglu needs to remove her head from her butt & see the real world for what it is. Employers aren't your friends & certainly aren't above prejudice or bias. Let's save it for in-person meetings.

I don't mind posting a picture of some cartoon character that looks like me or a picture I took or something close to my heart since it does represent me in a sense. Real pics of me, though? Not on your life! You want one? Take my picture if you interview me.

However, realize that this is what casting companies do when trying to place actors (chiefly, extras) for work. If you're not a casting company, then you need to rethink asking applicants for pictures.