Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Utter Stupidity & Another Charming CL Ad

First, the charming Craig's List ad.

Internships are the Devil (Cheapskates)
Date: 2010-06-30, 11:23AM EDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

Ok, maybe not the devil but this city is getting ridiculous. I have held internships at great places where I learned a great deal about the business. I learned the entire business which included hands on experience in my medium by working on actual professional projects. These were valuable learning experiences because they were genuinely based around training incoming employees (which I became at every place I've interned). The crazy thing is that in reading the gigs/jobs/whatever sections of C-list I am finding that people are expecting to save a few bucks by bringing in interns to do what might actually be quantified as WORK. If I am to intern at a film editing house then why would I want to be your office boy doing billing, booking and advertising? If I am to intern at your audio mastering facility why do you assume you can find someone to be studio manager that works 50hrs a week for nothing? All I'm saying is if you are offering/looking for an internship you should probably make sure it is an environnment that supports learning and not free labor. There is a huge difference in what you will get out of the situation on both ends. Also, if you are young, new to the business or just new to the city you should just ignore these cheap bastards looking for no cost employees and search out your own experience. If you are going to give it away then give it away to people and projects that you believe will allow you to grow, gain experience and flex your creativity. There are plenty of up and comers in this city who would love to have your help even if they can't pay you yet. Ignore the idiots trying to exploit you and your energy behind a thinly veiled promise of experience and focus on working with smart ambitious people who appreciate your talents even if they can't pay you. Finally, "employers" (for lack of a better PC term) stop with 40-50hr a week garbage. When do you expect your new intern/account manager/CPA/PR Rep/Quality Control/Facebook Account Manager to sleep and work another full time job at Starbucks so they can meet the monthly expenses of living in NYC while also being your indentured servant.

* Location: Cheapskates
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: The honor of helping to put money in my pocket

Who doesn't agree w/this out of control use of "interns" in business? This is why I only worked w/people who had real contacts in this business & real plans to move forward. I'm fortunate in not having to work w/newbies & chose to seek out people who knew more than me on purpose. You learn a lot from people who have been in the industry longer & treat the entertainment field as a serious calling instead of something they goof around at once in a while.

Since I'm never going to know everything, I make very careful assessments on who I'll deal with or who I work with. As a life rule, I & most people in the business won't work with total newbies unless that person has some real potential. I'm not speaking of helping people get internships or opportunities that might help them; I'm saying don't work for them until they know what they're doing & aren't newbies anymore.

I encountered my very first industry moron. Why do I say that this person is a moron (at least unless this person offers some serious mea culpa)?

A) Person posted an ad for an internship in a talent management company. I interned w/an agent who's been in the business for a VERY LONG time. That agent's name is so well known that people outside the entertainment industry have heard of it. Anyone in the business usually has some type of reaction at hearing the name.

B) I took a look at this person's website. No listing of major companies the company has worked with & the company has been around maybe about a year longer than I've worked in the business. I'd also never heard of any of their posted clients, not even recognized headshots from my earlier internship or knew anyone through my other jobs.

C) This ad didn't say "no phone calls," though many ad posters listing that (even at a law firm, the patron saint of following rules) told me they appreciated me calling when I asked about jobs that I'm overqualified for since my qualifications are so unusual.

D) So based on the reactions I usually get & my better chances at not being ignored on the phone, I called this guy up thinking that a sane business person would prefer dealing w/someone who doesn't have to be trained, can provide references & comes w/a law license on the cheap. The business people I've met in the entertainment industry would jump at such a chance and pay someone w/those credentials very well if they have the $.

How does this guy react??? Basically, in a manner that will certify his doom if he's doing it to every potential client & source of work (did mention the other things I did & any sane manager/agent doesn't go around pissing off people who have projects or have the authority to make sure they won't be working for a particular company).

* This guy was class-A rude. Didn't have any reaction to my mention of interning w/this well known agent. My take being if he's not heard of that agency, he can't be that sharp.

* Claims that regardless of my advanced credentials & so forth, everyone was starting as an intern. Funny, b/c anyone doing stuff like that will usually consider talking to the references or making any unpaid periods very short due to someone having more skills.

* When I asked about that, his response was "you should have just sent an e-mail like the ad said." I pointed out that my credentials are too uncommon to do that & I'd get ignored if I didn't call people. He claimed he was "in transit" at the time.

Now, I went ahead & sent my e-mail that I'd written before getting through on this call. I gently pointed out a few truths:

A) It's an insult to someone w/advanced skills & anyone who worked w/them if you demand the person go through an internship period w/you.

B) No one is going to put an unpaid internship ahead of unpaid executive/managerial/producer level work.

C) I operate just like anyone else in the business, including telling others of my experience.

D) Trained people are cheaper for a business than interns & someone w/advanced skills deserves to have them count for something instead of being treated just like a recent college grad or someone w/no experience at all.

E) People w/more skills aren't sharing those w/you for free. I proposed a modest salary to be discussed, not a lawyer rate or six figures.

If I hear nothing by the end of the week, I'll have to publicly name this guy just as a service to all my industry peeps.

No one needs to deal w/someone who is clearly an incompetent, has no respect for staff members and thinks he can go around insulting entertainment attorneys. If he's insulting attorneys who could provide business, imagine how he'd treat anyone else.

There's a time to let things slide & there's a time to stand up for yourself. I felt this was a time to stand up for myself & I'd be hard pressed to find anyone willing to deal w/this guy based on the impression I got.

Guess what? You have to be on at all times when it comes to clients and business development stuff. Would you talk like that to a potential investor? Not being "on" or giving off attitude just screws you out of potential opportunities.

The agent I interned with once told me a story about a writer who was trying to get investors for a project & had a meeting w/one in her office. She said the writer said something derogatory about investors & the potential investor who came in immediately walked out, never to return.

By the way, the writer wasn't aware that the person who came in was a potential investor.

Monday, June 28, 2010

The 100th Post

Well, what do you know? This is my 100th post in this blog. I have something that truly deserves a rant & if you disagree w/this point, it just proves that you're a special sort of moron.

A few days ago, I saw a Craig's List ad for admin work. Now I know I'm overqualified to do just about everything that you could do as a temporary job where you can easily be replaced. If it's not entertainment work, this is pretty much what I want in a daytime job.

I can't lie about the fact that the industry is my passion & I've been more willing to do things in the entertainment industry than I would in most others.

Unfortunately, it seems you can't be honest about this fact if you want to do something that pays a reasonable wage. I'm not even speaking about reasonable for a lawyer; I'm speaking about reasonable for my own purposes, which by lawyer standards is quite low.

I make no bones about the fact that I'm not going to work for a wage I made pre-law school if the job isn't in the entertainment industry & for some entity/person who will be able to advance my career or profile in some way. As my mom once said, $6.50 an hour isn't enough for her to get out of bed in the morning. In my case, $12 an hour or less isn't enough for me to get out bed in the morning for a non-entertainment job.

Nor is working on weekends, getting up at 7 a.m. to get there or having to wear a business suit & heels. Want to see me in a suit & heels every single day, then pay me six figures. I did my weekend time, thanks. Entertainment has more wiggle room but no one would do that stuff unless they were getting paid for it & the people I know in the business wouldn't have anyone doing that for no pay.

Heck, they don't even like doing any of this stuff.

Here's the ad I saw:

NEED A DAY JOB? (for grad students, writers, artists, etc.) (Midtown)
Date: 2010-06-23, 2:05PM EDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

Our client, a top technology/finance firm, is seeking a college graduate with a stellar academic record to assist with various administrative duties and executive support responsibilities. This full-time job is ideal for a graduate student, a writer, an artist or a performer who needs/wants steady employment with reasonable, predictable hours. The firm has many "other agenda" employees and casual dress is the norm (think tee-shirts and sneakers).

In addition to an *outstanding* academic record (i.e., top school, GPA: 3.7+, SAT Verbal 700+), candidates should have strong organizational abilities, excellent communications skills and some prior office experience in a highly professional setting whether it be corporate, academic or government. The position requires extreme attention to detail and a commitment to the highest standards of excellence. Perfection in written communication is particularly important.

TO APPLY, send your resume as an MS WORD attachment and, in a cover note, please include your GPA, SAT and any other standardized scores, and a description of your "other agenda" (grad school, writing, music, etc.).

Compensation is in the range of $60-75K, depending upon qualifications and experience. Excellent benefits including health insurance.

about us:

* Compensation: Compensation is in the range of $60-75K, depending upon qualifications and experience. Excellent benefits including health insurance.
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1807042177

So, when I saw this I thought about a few things:

A) This place won't expect me to make a lifetime commitment.
B) I have a TON of real world experience & references; I should be able to make an argument to be considered b/c of all this.

It's been my experience that when you find ads for something you can do, though you may be overqualified for it, you can usually ask about your advanced qualifications, tell them why you're applying anyway & whoever posted the ad or the person doing the hiring will consider you, ask if you can do something you didn't even know they had a need for OR completely ignore you.

If I see a website or identifying information, I call up & ask directly about my experiences. You have to + I'm a huge proponent of speaking to a live person. It also keeps them from ignoring you & lets you decide if they're worth dealing with.

So I sent an e-mail that bounced back, left a phone message then decided to call up today since all of my stuff started when their office was closed. I call this morning & the owner recognizes that I left a message (but I had to call her back).

You'd think someone would WANT to have someone w/some experience at doing something & w/this ad, wouldn't mind having someone tell them what their circumstances are, right? No, this bitch says complete w/a rude tone of voice: "Here's a friendly tip: you're giving too much information. Just mention your credentials."

I said "You're the one who posted an ad asking people to tell you about their outside projects."

She says "Are you trying to irritate me?"

I said "You're irritating me b/c you can't answer a simple question." & hung up. When someone has proven to me that they are an idiot & not worth more of my time, I have no problem hanging up on him/her. Especially when that person adopts a holier than thou posture!

Before passing along her little tip, she claims she can't help either me or my spouse (whose situation isn't as complex & was very simply stated). So I have zero qualms about hanging up on her or telling anyone to avoid dealing w/her.

So I would avoid Mary O'Gorman, who's apparently too much of an elitist asshole to realize that it's not smart to show your ass to total strangers who may have long memories & even more contacts. Apparently, where one went to school, their GPA & SAT score has relevance to doing administrative work in her world; can we say "stupid?"

* I'm also a very reactive person. You'd never see me being an ass for no reason or mentioning anyone being bad unless they actually deserved it. Warning people about such things is in my view, a public service. *

Academic records might be all you have for someone w/no experience at a job.

However, when there IS a record of experience you just look like an elitist, arbitrary asshole when you ask people about that kind of thing.

Any court personnel & judge can tell you that a lawyer's law school GPA and rank of law school have zero to do w/an individual lawyer's ability to practice law or be good at his/her trade. The big firms are managed by elitist assholes; it's a stupid system that people have railed against long before I ever went to law school or even existed in the world.

If I see a big firm that isn't, I'll let you know.

However, it's expected among law students. An arbitrary & stupid tradition, but tradition.

Personally, I think law firms asking to see law school transcripts while demanding 2+ years of precise experience for some job are run by a special kind of douche bag. It's arbitrary & pathetic nonsense to ask about such things when you know someone has the skill to do something.

I know that when I get to hire people, I'd never do it based on that kind of crap. In college, people out in the real world tell students that your specific GPA doesn't matter as long as you've passed your classes, graduate in 4 years tops & don't have straight Cs. Sane people put experience ahead of grades.

In fact, no one ever asked me about that in a job. I wasn't even asked about my high school GPA when I applied at JCPenney.

So I want to know what sane, non-asshole employer would ask about that from people who have experience at doing a job they're trying to fill? Maybe we should see full academic transcripts from some of these assholes; I'll bet we'd find a bad grade or an instance of cheating or dishonesty somewhere.

It's like the good Lord says "He who is without sin, cast the first stone." He (or she) without bad grades, academic dishonesty or the best schools for everything may cast the first stone. This includes all of your work being 100% original generated exclusively from your own brain, including essays for college, grad school, etc.

Oh, and no use of study aids or outside help of any kind in law school. Could you pass that standard, employer who demands all this from janitorial applicants?

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Where Do You Draw the Line Between Accommodation & Being a Wimp?

This article really got me thinking about that question.

Remember the outcry over airplane seats? Now, as a smaller person I don't appreciate some obese person taking up 1/2 my seat or someone leaning back to sit in my lap on a plane or train. I was ready to get into a fight w/this bitch sitting in front of me on AmTrak for doing that. I politely mention about not being able to see my player w/her having the seat so far back & she decides to get in my face about her rights to recline her seat. This other woman, who spent much of the trip railing about how pathetic the government is when trains in other countries wouldn't be sitting in the middle of nowhere for an hour mentions to her that it's part of common courtesy not to recline all the way back into people's laps.

At that point, we were delayed by about 2 hours & having DVDs to watch was the only thing keeping me sane. Thankfully, this other lady came over & moved up bitch's seat so I could at least move the connecting cords for my player & the cell phone charger of my seat mate. I did comment that bitch would be paying me if any of those cords got messed up b/c of that; don't think for a second I wouldn't have gotten into a fist fight over it. If you didn't know anything else about me, I think it's pretty clear that I don't take shit off other people & if you make me mad, you'd better watch out. One time someone tried getting into a confrontation w/me & the receptionist on the floor where I worked said she'd put her money on me winning that altercation.

In short, don't mess w/people who have anger issues; I don't care what they look like or how much bigger you are. I believe that if you trigger the right emotional buttons, anyone can be a force to be reckoned with; that's why a smart person never starts trouble w/people & doesn't do things that beg karma to screw them in some way.

And, nope this bitch was NOT obese. She'd been sitting with her seat more upright ever since she'd been on the train (possibly since we'd left NYC 11-13 hours before).

So, where do we draw the line? When do we stop worrying about making fat people feel bad & start considering safety, the rights of people who aren't fat, etc.? Being fat is not the same as being a racial minority or even being gay. Yes, to me you don't choose to be gay since why would you choose to risk your life & be ostracized by certain areas of society? It's certainly not all religious people since I've known plenty who don't shun their gay friends & accept their homosexuality for what it is.

Anyway, you can choose to lose weight. I have to side w/the people who created the ride on this one; why should society be accommodating to a condition that could be changed? I know not every single overweight person in this country has a medical condition; at least the people I know who have extra weight have some self-awareness & don't expect the entire world to bow down to them b/c of it.

And yes, you could change skin color or make yourself look different but exercise & better eating habits are far cheaper than skin bleaching and plastic surgery. There are very few risks to either of those & you'd be doing something to help yourself as opposed to someone becoming as scary looking as Michael Jackson did later on.

I'm also 100% in favor of improving public transit & making places more pedestrian friendly. This should have been done over 10 years ago but that's another rant.

It's not even just certain fat people who have this entitlement problem. People who breed & refuse to watch their kids are also an issue. As far as I'm concerned, they deserve to be a target of scorn & hatred; they SHOULD get offended considering they offend me, parents & anyone who doesn't want to see children get kidnapped or injured b/c of parental neglect, total stupidity or whatever common sense deficiency their sperm/egg donor has (b/c you aren't a parent unless you actually take care of your kids).

Finally, being PC is the least of my concerns, especially in my own rant blog. Don't like it, get your own rant blog.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

More Scammers!

I just left my day job today b/c I found out the boss is yet another scam artist. Reading what I read about this guy online, there's no freaking way in hell I'd risk my legal license. Especially considering the job involved the use of my legal license.

He told me he was concerned about being compliant w/the law but the MO sounds awfully similar to the other con man I worked for. I also hadn't gotten my tax paperwork or my required disclosures under the state labor law for new employees. I figure it's better to be safe than sorry. I'm just pissed I had to buy a Metrocard to get home yesterday & got a monthly thinking I'd have an actual, non-ethics violating legal job. Noooo, can't have that can we?

Seems I'll be turning to crime or stripping in a short time unless one of my entertainment gigs, a professional writing opportunity or someone w/an interest in working w/me actually follows through. When you have nothing to lose, there's really no reason to turn that inward. It's better to go down fighting in my book. You'd never catch me killing myself w/out taking a few others down w/me--only people who truly deserve it, though.

I don't blame law schools, the entertainment field (tons of people have day jobs to support themselves) or law professors for such things. I don't even blame investors so much since it's a slow process & they aren't any happier w/the slowness than filmmakers/producers/etc.

I'll tell you who I blame: employers. I blame people who are stuck in arbitrary ways of doing things & who refuse to give anyone a viable opportunity (hi, law firms!). I blame people who violate labor laws left, right & sideways to then make potential employees have to walk around w/fear that they will once again become a victim. I blame idiots who'd rather hire some moron or retain an old dinosaur who could never do the job than bring in new, fresh talent that can think outside the box & whose differences could make that business a million times better than it is right now.

So enough w/the stupid scam artists. All I freaking want is a steady, PAYING job that doesn't require me to sign my life away, commit to working there for the rest of my life & whose checks won't bounce (if I even get one). Since I've done a lot of things some of these law school scam bloggers may not have, I can't just walk into any old place to apply. 7 years of retail shuts you out from most jobs like that. I'm overqualified to be an entertainment intern & a writing intern. I'm even overqualified to be a personal assistant or an executive assistant.

The best I can do is ask people if they'd want to work w/me personally & work out some arrangement w/me based on my skills. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Maybe I should consider becoming a headhunter since I've even gotten jobs for others; I think I'm better at that than I am at getting myself a legitimate, paying job that doesn't make me want to stab my eyes out or consider prostitution as an alternative.

A big sign that you don't want a particular job: you'd rather be a prostitute instead. So I need to find some business owners or people who actually make hiring decisions. If someone knows anyone who hires paralegals, I'd do that & can make a very good argument on why I should be considered. I even have prior experience at a paralegal type job.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I Hope You're Sticking Around...

Just trying to adjust to having a full time day job again. Of course, the real test comes in when I get paid. I'm not about to have a repeat performance of the scam artistry of last November. I won't be working unpaid for 3 months this time.

Realized that I have some links I really should go & comment on:

* Legalities aside, I & every sane person in this country have been wanting this to happen for years. It's time to start following the example of other countries & treating citizenship with the importance that it deserves instead of letting illegals cash in on everything.

* A few comments on this:

First off, honesty is a total misnomer in a job interview. It IS, seriously. You walk in there wearing clothes you don't normally wear, rehearsing your answers ahead of time & telling an employer precisely what they want to hear. Personal style & creativity is generally frowned upon as is not being a robot. A smart interviewer knows that there is a degree of dishonesty in any job interview. I would even go so far as to say that a job interview is the ultimate act of dishonesty, especially when competition for a job is fierce & lots of people are desperate.

Second, I'm glad that some of my methods are things that one should do such as dealing w/overqualification right away. Thankfully, my current position didn't come w/that problem. I'm still learning but at least it's in the title of attorney.

Also glad to see that this person despises the practice of not doing a follow-up after giving someone an interview. I hate that & it's a true pet peeve of mine.

Third, employers should also not rely on candidates filling a position. They may have other interviews & get better offers or people who are more proactive than Potential Employer #1.

A few more comments: checking references off list could lead to potential lawsuits. What if someone said "do not contact X person?" There could be defamation issues so we might want to tread carefully there.

We're also not addressing the catch-22 of "no experience w/out a job; no job w/out experience." You can't volunteer everywhere & for every single field. It's actually a terrible idea to volunteer at a library in order to work as a librarian; my husband found out that it will harm you if you pursue that area.

Also not smart to do it as a lawyer unless you're in law school; if you've graduated, you should already have gotten internships or done something in the legal industry to learn how to practice law. Otherwise, you end up stuck as a permanent volunteer/unpaid worker & never get the respect from anyone to move forward. You end up devaluing your own skills & no one takes you seriously if you're doing it years after getting admitted. I've seen many lawyers not take up & comers seriously but simply exploit them for free labor.

For the record, legal aid & other similar groups have requirements for volunteers; I know Volunteer Lawyers for the Arts requires 7 years of legal experience before you can work w/them. Now my situation has not been on a volunteer basis but is a result of how the entertainment industry works.

Oh, and personality not fitting the corporate culture: what if someone's personality is repugnant to everyone? What if you're in an occupation where you're supposed to be less than happy flowers & sunshine to people, where in fact such behavior would cause those you had to get things from to brush you aside? Somewhere, I'm sure there are people whose personalities & general inner being are offensive to everyone in the room; what then?

Finally, be honest but don't talk about a bad boss? Hmmm.... can we say "be a liar?" I don't think that when your former position was a scam enterprise that you help yourself by defending the scam, especially when you have ethical duties to the general public under a professional license. I also think you have a right to talk about the lack of advancement opportunities if people who don't even interact w/you on a frequent basis are the ones making the decisions while ignoring anyone who does spend time w/you (including your immediate boss) & says you deserve to move upward.

Honestly, I think I did much better in interviews when I wasn't worried about making someone like me & simply approached it like a business transaction.

Two big problems w/this one:

First, if I were still dating I prefer not wasting my time w/an animal hater or a two bit scumbag who's just like an ex. I had no qualms talking about pets or exes & used such conversation to determine whether I needed to bother getting to know this person any further. One doesn't need to be the crazy cat lady or mega-obsessed on something but I certainly think it's pertinent to share stories on these topics to implicitly tell someone just what will happen if THEY try doing to me what X in the story did.

Second, you can use that stuff for bonding. My husband & I bonded over bad ex stories. It became a question of whose exes are worse. We declared it a tie.

Oh, and readers? If you try to seek me out aside from this blog, know that I am a very suspicious & paranoid person. Life & general reality has made me this way.

If you have a complaint about that, then take it up w/all the people who have wronged me in some way. Ask nicely & I'll give you a list.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Life Update & Rant All in One

Remember that day job I was talking about before? Well, this time it looks like I have a legit offer where I will get paid to do something. I'm not the sort of person who likes to sit around doing nothing; that just drives me insane. I start on Monday & I dread having to find parking in our neighborhood in the evenings after working but at least I'll be getting that steady income, learning something useful & even getting to work as an attorney. We're also assured to get to stay in NYC regardless of what happens to the library's budget.

Not sure how often I'll be updating but I think in 2 weeks, I should be okay & able to adjust to it all. I also got another possible opportunity in the works & have creative projects to work on but that's a different story that will be explained much later.

Now, I have a major rant that I realized I haven't done. There's a media portrayal of women I absolutely have a fucking pet peeve toward: women who put up with total BS from some popular or handsome guy while being nice to the nerd. I saw the new MTV show The Hard Times of R.J. Berger & the character of Jenny is completely sexist to women. How come?

See the second episode, where R.J. runs for student council president. Jenny's going to her boyfriend, the current president & asking for money for the Drama Club. He says to her "You know I love you & would do anything for you. Request denied." Not to mention this guy is being a douche bag at every turn & not just to the lead character, "the nerd" of the show.

I'd have NEVER taken that shit in high school. Come to think of it, even when I had to put up with it from smart kids due to being in classes with them I don't think I would have been motivated to put up with it from a guy. Especially one that went around making sexually inappropriate comments about me to all his friends, jock or not. If it were me & most other women, I'd simply call out the guy in front of everyone.

I've not met a single woman who's that big of a moron & would let any man she was dating insult her right to her face. If I had, you better believe I'd tell that woman to wake up & get a clue. Stop making the rest of us look like brain-dead little flunkies who should have mattresses strapped to our backs & Welcome written on our foreheads b/c we think that little of ourselves.

You know who is a good portrayal of a woman? Julia Sugarbaker on Designing Women. She was classy & didn't take other people's crap but also had looks. Beauty & brains! Some women do have that, all right?

It's downright insulting & sexist to see Hollywood holding up women who act like that. I feel one of my missions as someone doing creative work & doing what I'm doing is to feature real women, strong women. Women who don't let men push them around or put having any man ahead of their children, careers, friendships or well-being. I don't consider women like that worth my time or my friendship.

I also say this as a woman who was in a sorority. There were lots of strong women in my chapter who'd never have put up with such things & would tell a sister if she wasn't standing up for herself or allowed some guy to push her around. In mine, there were lots of times when I felt like our sisterhood was all that we had so you can bet it was quite solid for the most part.

My God, don't even get me started on how sororities are treated in the media! I feel my own experience was quite helpful to me in life & probably a reason why I've gotten to do some of the things I have at such an early stage in my career & at a younger age than many people. I'm also glad antisocial me stuck with it when I felt like giving up since the idea of being in a sorority kind of violates some personal truths.

Nonetheless, I stand by my hatred of ignorant weakling women who refuse to stand up for themselves in the face of insults and assholes writing roles that reinforce that stereotype about women. I want to kick some of those people in the balls very hard since I'm pretty sure most women don't have that kind of self-loathing for their gender.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

"We Want to Hire You", Then Nothing!

What the hell is up with people offering you a job and then not giving you any follow-up or worse yet, not paying you a salary?

I got offered a job yesterday under the attorney title & was supposed to get a phone call today from the new boss. Nothing yet. I realize people are busy but now I'm worried that this will turn into another situation where someone becomes all enthusiastic to have me work with them only to vanish off the face of the Earth. This has happened to me a good 3 times.

The first time I remember was when I applied to work for this company that gave driving tours of the city. It included a car, a clothing allowance & a pretty decent salary. Sounds good, right? Unusual for my background but when you're looking for a steady paying job, you tend to look for interesting, well paying & so forth.

So how about I get told about going to some training session but then never hear a word about where it's at? I called up the owner; he's MIA & never returns my phone calls.

Another time, I was applying for an attorney job & got an interview. I was told I'd get a call the next week; do you think I got one? No! I call the office & can't get anyone. When I finally do, the interviewer becomes a total dick to me & never gives me a definitive answer. This is also a job opportunity that this interviewer contacted ME about in response to an ad I posted saying I was seeking a job.

Oh, and avoid Audrey Golden Associates at all costs. I interviewed for a lower level job there making phone calls & was told I'd get notified while I was out of town. Do you think I did? Instead, I see the same job ad posted twice on Craig's List that I responded to before I had the interview.

These days, I don't take that shit lightly. I have no problem with reminding some of these "business" people that I do exist in the working world & treating me like a peon will cost them dearly.

When I have to follow up & you lie about calling me, I will make damn sure you suffer not just in my telling others about the experience but holding it against you if you ever ask me for anything. The industry works in the same way. Today's intern could be tomorrow's executive--don't be a dick!

I did just that with the interviewers who wasted my time the week before I left town.

I also dislike people who express an interest in working with me but their actions say otherwise. Much like in dating, if I'm not enough of a priority to return a phone call to or to take concrete steps toward a job & paying me $, I'm not wasting my time or giving you any type of courtesy to make life easier on you.

When I dated, I had a 2 week rule. Any guy I met who didn't bother responding to me in 2 weeks after a date or an initial meeting lost out. If I met someone new in the meantime, then a guy who never contacted me lost his chance & would have gotten told that if he tried contacting me after that window of time. Never had to employ that with boyfriends but if it had happened, you bet I'd have ended that relationship & moved on. You'd better believe I give other people that same courtesy.

The absolute worst, though was my last day job (the scam artist). I was told I was hired for something & would get a salary but ended up only getting a very small amount of money as well as some business expense payment for my using an off-site computer lab to do Internet work as part of my job. Now I have worked with legitimate companies that were upfront about the lack of a salary. I still work with the legit ones, largely b/c they tell me how much they appreciate me. However, I have zero patience to go through that again even though I wasn't footing the bill for my travel for most of that time unlike some people.

As a business owner, I want to know: Why the fuck would you solicit people for positions, interview them, tell at least one of them that you want to hire him/her & then not make any effort whatsoever to contact this person/have them start working ASAP? It makes no rational sense to me. It wastes my time, transit money, gives me false hope & just pisses me off.

It also makes me hell bent to do everything I can to harm you professionally & personally b/c you are a liar. I also end up wasting money on celebration efforts or transit passes, which is why I refuse to celebrate this or allow anyone to spend a dime of money until I get my phone call.

It's only fair; if you had experienced all this, you'd probably be cautious as well. That type of thing just screams "unprofessional" to me & I think should be cause for legal action. I don't know what type of claim or remedy could be argued but I think there should be some penalty so small employers stop doing it.

I'm tempted to just start asking for travel reimbursement before I go to any job interview, especially if I'm just going to be lied to in the end.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Telling Off People Who Rejected You For A Job Is Fun!!!

Really, it is. A gentle reminder that you are in fact a human being & that you have the memory of an elephant is loads of fun. You can only really do it if the job you applied for has zero to do with what you actually want to do.

I did this with 2 interviews I had recently: one was for this legal staffing agency where I happened to discover more ads posted for the very job I'd applied for and the other was for a writing internship with a company that claimed it would notify me last week.

With the first, I merely wrote an e-mail saying how much I appreciated their professionalism & that it was interesting to see a business that had zero regard for the fact that human beings apply for jobs + the implication that entertainment people remember each & every slight for the future. It was written saccharine but if you have a brain, you could probably detect the sarcasm & nastiness peeking out.

The second was handled differently. I got a phone call back from my inquiry but not from the actual interviewer. I pointed out that I'm well aware of how many companies avoid talking to applicants they've rejected, hoping they'll just go away. I also mentioned that I do, in fact, work in business and know people. Same implication. I said they may want to keep that in mind when dealing w/me though I appreciated having my phone call returned.

You may be thinking "Won't engaging in the snark mess you up?" Nope, I don't think so. If anything, these people need to worry far more about not getting on my bad side since I'm a force of nature who'll get what she wants (if my track record is any indication).

I'm also well aware of the fact that I'm going to have a lot of people trying to buddy up to me sooner or later; I relish the day I get to throw stuff like that in their face & tell them to piss off. You'd better believe I'd do it. I already have it planned for people who were assholes to me & never apologized as well as those who simply snubbed me; they can burn in Hell for all I care.

Don't dare ask me about entertainment stuff or to get you an autograph after you didn't bother to tell me yourself that you've refused to hire me for a job. You'll be told to go fuck yourself if I'm having a particularly good day; you don't want to know what will happen if you ask on a bad day.

I also have no care in the world for people who want to behave unprofessionally. In fact, lack of professionalism is a good way to have me avoid dealing with you. By professionalism, I don't mean a fancy office or attire. I mean basic common courtesy like returning phone calls and treating people with basic respect.

Telling people off on that stuff is SOOOO much fun. It makes not getting a job that much better if you remind people that regardless of what you do now, you may eventually be interviewing THEM for a job or they might have to come to YOU for something. Simple truths like that are why smart industry people don't go around being nasty to interns or the receptionist.

It will bite you in the ass & has happened to many people plenty of times. Yes, I admit I couldn't be a server since I would alter the food of assholes.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Back in NYC

Seriously, I'm happy to be back. For one thing, I didn't work for years to get here to leave & I've been a city girl forever. My family lives out in the country now; personally, I like to live near enough to civilization that 911 can find my house if something bad happens.

I saw Sex & the City 2 w/my oldest friend in the world on Thursday night. Long but engaging & funny movie; seeing the trailer did make me feel like this was less of a blatant attempt to cash in on a franchise.

One thing that impressed me was tackling the idea that not everyone wants to have children & that motherhood isn't all cupcakes and sunshine. I was glad to see a scene where Miranda and Charlotte are talking about how they love their kids but that they drive them insane sometimes. Charlotte also says she's freaking out w/full time help & doesn't see how mothers who don't have that manage to stay sane. Bravo to the writers for that, seriously. Say what you will about Sex & the City but while it may appeal to women, it is very well written. They also haven't changed the core of the characters, which I also think is very important & makes a huge difference b/t a successful product that contributes to the story and a piece of crap that doesn't fit anywhere.

Also settled the wedding color issue. Apparently, people in my family have far more confidence in my ability to pull off particular colors than I do. Lesson being we're all self-critical to an extent.

I don't really like going without my husband, though so I want to bring him in the future. I also don't miss the slow ass drivers; if you tried some of what I saw in Queens, you'd be flipped off, honked at, maybe even killed. Quite frankly, if you can't drive the speed limit & cause a traffic hazard for everyone else by driving 10 miles & more under you don't need to be driving. Your license should be revoked & on one lane roads, the other drivers should get to shoot you without being charged with a crime.

Call it natural selection for the sake of the public good. I think if some cops ticketed these people & made them pay a lot of $, they'd either get the hint or licenses would be gone. Why there is sympathy for old people continuing to drive badly but not for teenagers, I'll never know.

I also like getting to say the f-word without a bunch of flack. I didn't curse as much for the sake of small children but I definitely remain child free. I also feel that I have earned the right to say the f-word if I want to & aren't going around cursing people out for no reason.

I'll be getting back into the groove this week & still haven't done all I needed to today but at least I hung up my clothes, emptied the bags & perused job stuff. I'll also be complaining to Target's corporate office for their store's utter incompetency and attempts to put a band-aid on a gun shot wound. That rant's for tomorrow, though.

Thursday, June 10, 2010


There's a reason I don't go to my hometown that much & I think I've figured it out. Or at least, the main reason.

The main reason I don't like going there is the fact that I feel like some contestant on Wife Swap, Trading Spouses or some other stupid reality show where they stick someone around people & in an environment completely unlike their own. In fact, no one appears to be capable of any rational thought or listening to anyone's views other than those reinforcing their own way of life until the very end. Sometimes, not even then.

This is pretty much how I feel when I go to NC. I feel like an outsider. You might be thinking, "How are you an outsider in the town you grew up in?" That's easy: I was always an outsider. My own childhood didn't help but New York fits me like a glove while North Carolina felt like a pair of shoes that are 5 sizes too small.

I have a sister who's getting married & asked for my involvement. Giving opinions & all that. The first thing to know about my sister is we're polar opposites. In almost every area you can think of, we take an opposing view or do the opposite of the other one. I'm tall, she's short. She married everyone she dated & first married at 21, I dated long & hard before getting married then married at 25. She has kids, I think some are cute but want to give them back when it's time to do the messy stuff (in other words, I don't care to have any myself). Even the shades of red are different on our hair.

So you can imagine how my opinions are compared to hers: polar opposite & completely disregarded. I've never been a "yes (wo)man" & don't intend to become one at all. The first marriage my sister had, I was never asked about anything & didn't even get any say on the bridesmaid dress I wore. I just showed up, tried it on and went down the aisle. I literally arrived the day before; this is b/c I was in college at the time as well as a sorority member & those things were a high priority to me.

This time, she claims to want everything to be different & is considering picking some colors that will clash horribly on me. I didn't tell what colors to pick but I said I'd need to wear my hair up if certain colors that will make me look terrible are picked & certain styles of gowns are used. A halter would be right near my head & with any part of my hair down in certain colors would look terrible. Having my hair up won't change the clashing but would lessen it vs. hair down. Why don't you just have me wear glasses that day if you want me to look like total crap?

That leads to my rant, which you may find interesting coming from a married woman: in what universe does the bride get to demand all members of her wedding party to be robots??? When does the bride get to micromanage every single detail of the bridal party's look down to the toenail? This is someone who is considering the body types of bridesmaids but won't even consider that her own sister is the only redhead & certain colors she's all of a sudden developed a yen for (that would also clash on HER + she's not even wearing) make the sister look awful.

If a wedding is all about a bride demanding family & friends to wear clothes that make them look crappy while she looks awesome, why not just hire models for that purpose? They can be silent mannequins & you can pick plus sized models for that purpose. Why not gather the ugliest people you can find, in fact? Better yet, it should be called "slave" instead of "maid of honor."

I heard a lot about how thin I am & how everything looks good on me. Well, guess what? I didn't choose to have kids; you did. As far as I'm concerned, that's one of the perks of being childfree. I also don't appreciate people trying to wish pregnancy on me or thinking I'm going to suddenly get fatter in less than a year when I look the same as I did 10 years ago.

I didn't pull this sort of thing when I got married. I wouldn't demand someone to wear a color that would clash on them & I respected that my sister was driving up w/family from 1,000 miles away to show up. I also had some respect for people's time and not boring them w/mundane nonsense out of some duty to "tradition." I'm as non-traditional as it gets. If I renew my vows, I wouldn't have people dress in something they'd hate & be miserable in. I wouldn't tell them that I'm going to control every aspect of their look down to the toenail polish. Oh, and your wedding pictures would stink w/someone in an outfit they hate. You can tell that kind of thing as easily as you can someone who doesn't believe in a role or hates the song they're singing in front of an audience.

So my thought is if you want a particular look, why don't you just hire models instead of forcing people to make public spectacles of themselves by dressing them horribly then guilting them out of so-called duties to "family" and "friendship?" I despise the whole pomp & insanity of weddings as a whole anyway since I think marriage is far more than the one day. It should be done for the right reasons & formal, fancy stuff doesn't make one marriage superior to another. In fact, I'd say I have a pretty damn good marriage & my sister's implication that it's in any way inferior b/c I'm not some slave to tradition or wanted to focus on passing law school + 2 bar exams as opposed to sinking thousands of dollars we didn't have for ONE DAY is downright insulting.

I won't even address the possibility of Psycho Boy being there or the fact that my husband refuses to commit to going. Not to mention that no one seems to give a damn about my living far away (everyone else is local) or my mental sanity. They act like I personally handicapped myself & shouldn't deign to complain about the travel while they never bother to visit me or make any effort.

I feel like I have some imaginary spouse if I'm in NC alone. I think I'm just not going anymore w/out him. At this point, he might even tell me straight out that I can't go w/out him due to the stress involved.

As you may have gathered from reading this, I also prefer being respected to being liked. More people in this town are about being liked. That's not a mentality I get or that you're ever going to get me to agree to. I'm just glad some people in my life are capable of rational thought & think I have a point. Hope some other women are just as sick of this nonsense as me.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Apparently, Someone Flunked Business 101

Sorry, as a lawyer it's in my nature to do things like this if I find some lower level person is incompetent or being completely unhelpful. You often HAVE to speak to the CEO if you want anything to get done or to be vindicated in some way.

I would be livid if some company tried that w/me & would be doing the same thing this soon to be ex-customer did. I would also use my experience as an executive level person to ask another one who they slept with or blackmailed to get their job since they clearly didn't earn it on their own merits. Incompetency & the refusal to learn or do ANYTHING just drives me nuts; it's the type of employee I'd get rid of in a second. Still can't believe my own spouse was trashed by co-workers for being competent; that makes me want to shoot these people, smack them upside the head, something. I know why management types want to hire incompetents that need excessive hand-holding & lack creative vision (because they want to keep you down) but I really have no patience for those types.

If I'm able to survive doing something meaningful, I'll just write about this stuff but otherwise, I'd probably end actually doing it. Writing my first script gave me the ability to actually live the situation I was writing about; the events it was based on were unresolved in real life but in my writing, I was able to create a resolution.

Going out of town tomorrow. I think I'll stay up since I have a lot of files to test before I can add them to the iPod, I need to make sure my DVD player is fully charged, pack a lunch (since I'm picky + a cheapskate) & don't think I'll feel sleepy until close to time to get up (5ish, ugh!).

Happy I finally got my first CT viewer; honestly, I'm a bit shocked I haven't gotten some of my highest views in states where I used to live & still know people. For those who have been following my rants, hi there & hope I keep you sufficiently entertained.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Employment/Job Hunting Ridiculousness

Did you think I was kidding when I said I've seen ads demanding experience for menial positions?

I'm not. I saw a Craig's List ad calling for "Mailroom Clerks" paying $12 an hour & demanding 2 years of corporate mail room experience. I made $12 an hour doing entry-level work with nothing but my undergrad degree & it was not in the damn mail room.

Someone is a retard; that's the best way to describe whoever came up w/such an asinine requirement. I don't know if it's the staffing agency or their employers demanding this but either way, this isn't brain surgery. Get a grip!!

Any comments on my use of any terms you might deem "not PC" will be ignored. This blog does not exist to serve the PC police.

Now, the dedication of the guy in this story is a shocker.

Personally, I'd never do it. In fact, I'm the sort who'd look the other way & even encourage people to screw over an employer who paid me nothing and treated me like crap as they do in most jobs like at Waffle House. That's why I avoid applying for or asking about jobs w/anyone who has a history of treating people like crap; I take some careful precautions to avoid working in an abusive atmosphere.

It's also my mission in life to avoid dishing out that kind of treatment & making people unmotivated to do a damn thing for my company. Employee loyalty is a rare commodity; corporate employers, take heed. That sword goes both ways. If Waffle House fires this man & doesn't do something nice like offer a raise or promotion, the owners are a bunch of morons who need to be tossed out on their butts ASAP. If they made the decision, this is obvious. If they didn't, they shouldn't have hired people stupid enough to do that & should be minding the store far more carefully.

If corporations are supposed to be people under the law, then they should be assertive & take a hard line on theft, waste, etc. Encouraging people to steal from you is just stupid & I say this as a lawyer. The liability argument doesn't wash w/me & is akin to posting a sign outside the door saying "Go ahead & steal from us. We won't prosecute & we don't care. It's cool, man."

I dare a major chain w/such policies to post that sign. If you fire employees for chasing shoplifters, you may as well.

Thank God I don't work with or for idiots.