Being Jerked Around - Who Hates It???

This has to be one of my biggest pet peeves in life, especially when dealing with business. If I don't know the answer to something or don't do what I'm supposed to, I apologize & tell you the damn truth. In fact, I probably err on the side of being too truthful because I hate the feeling of limbo.

I was the sort of retail associate who'd screw over the company in a second to help a customer. If I felt the company had an asinine policy or was being unfair to the customer, I'd throw them under the bus without a second thought. This was when I was in high school.

Not much has changed. At this point, I've concluded that working at a big company would a mistake. I think people who know me would agree: I lack the questionable morals & desire to show fealty to a heartless company where I'm eating scraps while the CEO is having filet mignon and wouldn't think twice about laying me off even if I saved the company from going under, rescued his/her young child from drowning & uncovered theft by the top brass. I also can't imagine a major company being stupid enough to employ someone as smart, assertive & creative as I am. Big companies don't value those things. Oh, hell no!

Seeing the second Dear Prudence letter here just confirmed it. Some of the comments also illustrate that many other people don't mind being slaves to their companies but oh, I'm not one of them. I did go above & beyond in the past but I never worked for people who exploited me or didn't reward my effort. When you don't reward someone for good behavior, they will not bother. And when others bitch about it? Surefire way to stop that above & beyond stuff!

I'd also have to warn any lecherous client that ever dared propose or take an indecent liberty with me that if you try it, I'll make sure to have a metal handle fan so I can hit you upside your head. That's if I'm feeling nice; you don't want to know what might happen if I'm not feeling nice or who else might hurt you.

My life has become an endless "maybe" job limbo. Just when I think all hope is lost, something happens to make me think "Maybe?" It's a constant roller coaster that I'm sick of being on. Even if you have no prospects, take it from me that you're better of not being on that kind of roller coaster. My fear is that if I stop following up, I'll never hear a damn thing again or will get dismissed because I wasn't aggressive enough. Honestly, I don't think I care anymore. It's just irritating when my husband tells me to keep following up since he fears he'll once again be on the layoff chopping block. Another example of what happens when you're a dick to employees: they don't bother doing volunteer stuff on their off time.

So, do higher ups at some of these companies know nothing of the concepts of punishment & reward?? Motivation? Threatening someone with getting fired for not exploiting themselves, thereby showing they are a "team player" just doesn't amuse or impress me.

Hell, though I was in a sorority I was never hazed. I'm the sort who'd just quit or do something downright sinister to the hazers. We also never hazed anyone else in my chapter & I've never heard about hazing in other chapters. See why I've called mine an "anti-sorority?" That's one of the reasons.

I also contacted a law school that is setting up legal services for an area of law I know quite well & have contacts in. If I wanted to, I could be a great resource to find people for them & I certainly think I have the experience to volunteer.

However, my inner cynic tells me I'm going to be just as disappointed with this group as I am with any other. How come?

For one, many sources dealing with volunteer entertainment services have this elitist attitude that any attorney not from a T1 school is an inferior attorney or automatically unequal to a Harvard or Yale graduate who just got admitted.

This is a colossal mistake in entertainment law. For one thing, I read that Charlie Sheen's attorney who has his place in entertainment as a tough enforcer is not some Ivy League graduate. He went to Brooklyn Law School. Yet, he's representing celebrities & I'm sure no one would denigrate him for not being a Yale graduate.

Guess what, stupids? Entertainment law is a purview of personality. Clients don't pick attorneys based on their law schools. That's also true elsewhere but it's definitely true in entertainment law. Personality is king. If you're a jerk, it doesn't matter if you were #1 at Harvard; creative clients won't want to work with you. I know this from talking to many different creative people who were looking for lawyers.

And funny, most of the entertainment lawyers I've talked to also feel like outsiders from the typical firm atmosphere & can't stand the elitism of typical lawyers.

Second, these elitists also believe that any attorney who hasn't been practicing for decades is completely useless & a moron who knows nothing about nothing. I beg to differ in this area since I'm doing something most attorneys of any level don't get to do. My circumstances are different & dismissing me for being licensed for 3 years instead of 7+ without looking at a my specific situation just shows you're an idiot.

If you wonder why I don't recommend things like Volunteer Lawyers for the Arts, that's why. If these organizations don't deem me good enough to assist in an area I have a fair amount of knowledge in, why should I bother recommending them to people who despise elitism probably even more than me? I don't view it as selfish to my colleagues but more like sparing them BS & opting to connect them with quality people that I know will treat them as human beings worthy of respect instead of just a case (time suckage problems notwithstanding). Believe me, that kind of thing determines just what kind of legal services you're going to get. If you are not valued, the lawyer isn't going to be on top of things even if the person's #1 in that area of law.

So I can be an ally or an enemy: your choice. If you refuse to listen to me, I'll never lift a finger for your benefit. Coldhearted or not, that's business folks.

I was also quite gratified to see Cupcake Stop closing. I call BS on the "hiatus" since most business owners would either cede control to partners, hire a new CEO, or sell to someone else & live happily on the proceeds. They'd never just let the business close unless those steps weren't an option.

I had nothing to do with it but I'd be lying to say I don't take some pleasure from seeing a jerk get his comeuppance. Things like that renew my faith in the world & humanity as well as keep me from doing things like becoming a con artist.

You want to get in my face about being happy with the workings of karma? You've obviously never been wronged or treated unfairly in some way. Your life has been cookies & sunshine. Talk to me when you've had some of my life experiences or could beat me in hard luck stories. Avoid religious talk as well since it's irrelevant to me. Respect my beliefs & I'll respect yours; end of story.

And to conclude, it seems I now have to risk becoming an alcoholic or the wife of one to delay getting Alzheimer's. Great!

So I'm just screwed coming & going, aren't I? Not bad enough I had to live with an alcoholic as a child & be subjected to a level of secondhand smoke that will probably lead to lung cancer when I'm older: now I have to start drinking & potentially screw up my entire life. Lovely. Maybe I'll be dead before it's an issue considering my relatives generally died in the 60s-70s range & cancer runs rampant on both sides. On that cheery note...

I'll have to make a list of my pet peeves ranked in order someday. Being jerked around is definitely going to be in the top 5.

I Hope You're Sticking Around...

Just trying to adjust to having a full time day job again. Of course, the real test comes in when I get paid. I'm not about to have a repeat performance of the scam artistry of last November. I won't be working unpaid for 3 months this time.

Realized that I have some links I really should go & comment on:

* Legalities aside, I & every sane person in this country have been wanting this to happen for years. It's time to start following the example of other countries & treating citizenship with the importance that it deserves instead of letting illegals cash in on everything.


* A few comments on this:

First off, honesty is a total misnomer in a job interview. It IS, seriously. You walk in there wearing clothes you don't normally wear, rehearsing your answers ahead of time & telling an employer precisely what they want to hear. Personal style & creativity is generally frowned upon as is not being a robot. A smart interviewer knows that there is a degree of dishonesty in any job interview. I would even go so far as to say that a job interview is the ultimate act of dishonesty, especially when competition for a job is fierce & lots of people are desperate.

Second, I'm glad that some of my methods are things that one should do such as dealing w/overqualification right away. Thankfully, my current position didn't come w/that problem. I'm still learning but at least it's in the title of attorney.

Also glad to see that this person despises the practice of not doing a follow-up after giving someone an interview. I hate that & it's a true pet peeve of mine.

Third, employers should also not rely on candidates filling a position. They may have other interviews & get better offers or people who are more proactive than Potential Employer #1.

A few more comments: checking references off list could lead to potential lawsuits. What if someone said "do not contact X person?" There could be defamation issues so we might want to tread carefully there.

We're also not addressing the catch-22 of "no experience w/out a job; no job w/out experience." You can't volunteer everywhere & for every single field. It's actually a terrible idea to volunteer at a library in order to work as a librarian; my husband found out that it will harm you if you pursue that area.

Also not smart to do it as a lawyer unless you're in law school; if you've graduated, you should already have gotten internships or done something in the legal industry to learn how to practice law. Otherwise, you end up stuck as a permanent volunteer/unpaid worker & never get the respect from anyone to move forward. You end up devaluing your own skills & no one takes you seriously if you're doing it years after getting admitted. I've seen many lawyers not take up & comers seriously but simply exploit them for free labor.

For the record, legal aid & other similar groups have requirements for volunteers; I know Volunteer Lawyers for the Arts requires 7 years of legal experience before you can work w/them. Now my situation has not been on a volunteer basis but is a result of how the entertainment industry works.

Oh, and personality not fitting the corporate culture: what if someone's personality is repugnant to everyone? What if you're in an occupation where you're supposed to be less than happy flowers & sunshine to people, where in fact such behavior would cause those you had to get things from to brush you aside? Somewhere, I'm sure there are people whose personalities & general inner being are offensive to everyone in the room; what then?

Finally, be honest but don't talk about a bad boss? Hmmm.... can we say "be a liar?" I don't think that when your former position was a scam enterprise that you help yourself by defending the scam, especially when you have ethical duties to the general public under a professional license. I also think you have a right to talk about the lack of advancement opportunities if people who don't even interact w/you on a frequent basis are the ones making the decisions while ignoring anyone who does spend time w/you (including your immediate boss) & says you deserve to move upward.

Honestly, I think I did much better in interviews when I wasn't worried about making someone like me & simply approached it like a business transaction.

Two big problems w/this one:

First, if I were still dating I prefer not wasting my time w/an animal hater or a two bit scumbag who's just like an ex. I had no qualms talking about pets or exes & used such conversation to determine whether I needed to bother getting to know this person any further. One doesn't need to be the crazy cat lady or mega-obsessed on something but I certainly think it's pertinent to share stories on these topics to implicitly tell someone just what will happen if THEY try doing to me what X in the story did.

Second, you can use that stuff for bonding. My husband & I bonded over bad ex stories. It became a question of whose exes are worse. We declared it a tie.

Oh, and readers? If you try to seek me out aside from this blog, know that I am a very suspicious & paranoid person. Life & general reality has made me this way.

If you have a complaint about that, then take it up w/all the people who have wronged me in some way. Ask nicely & I'll give you a list.