Tuesday, August 30, 2011

In Defense of Ok Cupid & Calling Out a Hypocrite

But not just any hypocrite...a special one by the name of Alyssa Bereznak. If you want to know why she's a hypocrite, check out this story.

I'm not going to give the little bitch press or money by directly linking to what she wrote but you can find it very easily in an online search. Basic capsule of the events: she creates a profile on Ok Cupid while carrying on a smug attitude that "only losers use online dating profiles" and goes out with a guy who plays the card game Magic: The Gathering (Jon Finkel, who is apparently a former world champion at the game). She acts as though Mr. Finkel murders puppies or molests little boys & decides to get even by writing an article on Gizmodo.com about how he should have disclosed his bad ass abilities at this game beforehand.

Oh, and in the meantime, she ends up winning the shallow bitch Hall of Fame. You can go Google her, btw. Apparently her Twitter feed says she's a former intern of Gizmodo, a tech blog (the very same blog where she goes on an anti-geek kick). Her LinkedIn profile lists her as a current intern so I imagine the powers that be didn't appreciate her little whiny rant and the attack on their geek readers. If it were me, I'd have certainly gotten rid of her post haste (pun intended). His response is here.

Okay, a few things:

1. Alyssa is the archetypical Cosmo girl. Seriously, she's the living embodiment of a typical Cosmo reader who'd turn her nose up at anyone with a sense of imagination or who dares to use online dating.

2. Alyssa is also living in dream land. Seriously, I saw your pic honey. You aren't hot shit. I, along with numerous actors & actresses I know in this business, are about a trillion times better looking than you by industry standards & dating standards. But, funny thing: those hotties I know in this business? They're also into "geek" things like video games, comics, sci-fi, and the list goes on. Undoubtedly, they'd also have friends into such things.

3. Alyssa has no class. Take it from someone who's been told she has it: there's a right way and a wrong way to reject a guy. You can politely tell someone you aren't interested. This sure wasn't the way to do it.

4. Alyssa has now screwed up her life. She'd better hope that a hiring manager doesn't Google her name or have any kind of interest in so-called "geek" things. If you wanted to work with my company, I'd toss your materials in the trash. After all, my husband is an avid comic book collector. I don't look down on him for that; I may not go to the conventions or want to do role playing games so much but I don't go around thinking I've got the right to tell others how to live.

Oh, and I am a really good video game player. As in, I've played since I was young & will do it until they pry the controller/remote/whatever we have in the future from my cold dead fingers. Maybe not world champion material but good enough to consider you a stupid little whiny bitch who's probably living off Mommy & Daddy and whining about the "scary minorities" in NYC.

5. Alyssa had also better hope a hiring manager never used online dating or met their mate in that way. I'll have you know I met my husband through Ok Cupid & as I said, I'm far better looking that this little bitch (and not just saying that because of anti-blonde prejudice).

When I did online dating, the line of guys contacting me was not short. I had enough interest to generate a line, even on the old Friendster. I tried online dating since I was in law school (which is a time consuming activity leaving little time to go out), had a policy against dating guys I was in class with and might have to work with in the future, & had no luck meeting a cute guy who'd actually stick around to date me for an appreciable amount of time. I was also in a section with older students and most of them were married or in relationships so that was not going to be my dating pool.

You want to talk about "date rapey scenes?" I went to sing karaoke at a place and met some interesting characters, including one guy who may have been married & tried to bother me for romantic overtures while claiming he had a friend who could get me a legal job. Ok Cupid sure wasn't a "dark, date rapey scene." Online, you can block people who annoy you or piss you off. Can't do that in real life.

I'm also an introvert by nature & never approached guys first unless I had to in order to avoid a creep that bothered me. I met a LOT of creeps in Connecticut (though still had guys approach me without me making any real effort). I couldn't even go back to that karaoke place by myself for fear I'd run into that jerk again.

So I met a few guys on Ok Cupid & never had a problem. I actually met my husband at a time when I was about to just give up on guys since I'd had enough of their bullshit. We met in NYC and forged our relationship gradually, having all that "getting to know you" talk out of the way before we ever met in person.

I'm still with this man & will be celebrating 5 years of marriage with him this year. Bet your face will be red from that one considering more people are marrying folk they met online! You probably should try online dating since any guy who hears of you now will run like Hell. Even if you aren't into geek things, guys, you really should run since the archetypical Cosmo girl types are only going to abuse you, emasculate you & make life a living Hell. See that Cracked article on what happens if you actually followed Cosmo's advice.

Plus, as this Alyssa will have no job prospects, she'll likely just chase you for money. This will likely cause her to wise up & become a gold digger.

6. Jon is a classy guy who will likely have a very full dance card from all this. Sir, you may also be well served to talk with a lawyer on this to see if you could have a case against her little whiny butt. Also might not hurt you to make sure you have a pre-nup should you find yourself nearing marriage since one has to protect one's self from gold diggers.

At the very least, let's hope she learns a valuable lesson about reputation, respect for others and how powerful the "geek" culture is. While I'm not a player of Magic: The Gathering, I would certainly have some respect for someone who was a world champion in it. I'd expect that guy to have some stories. Even Comic-Con has become a celebrity filled event so I have to wonder where Alyssa Bereznak has been for the past 5 years or so.

Plus, being a gamer does NOT = murdering puppies/molesting children/beating up homeless people-former girlfriends-parents-etc. or some other truly deplorable, despicable act you should refuse to put up with in a guy. It doesn't even = having unprotected sex with everyone in NYC.

Geek has become chic honey, but shallow bitchiness from someone who's a 6-7 at best has never been cool (it's not even cool from a 10+ but it's even less cool from someone who isn't anywhere in that stratosphere). The bitchiness is posting a story on the website.

Let's see what happens to her later on, shall we?

Friday, August 26, 2011

Overdramatic Freak Outs Over Weather Conditions

If you read anything about the East Coast or were here this week, you are well acquainted with that "earthquake" and the impending "hurricane" coming up the coast this weekend.

This leads me to something that's bothered me for years: cheap theatrics over weather conditions. Let me explain what I'm talking about. If you already know where I'm going on this, I respect you as a member of the intelligent population of planet Earth. Since I think most people don't, here goes.

First & foremost, the local media is definitely a culprit in mass hysteria on weather matters. They ALWAYS blow up some minor detail & make it into a catchphrase, a slogan, or some mass travesty to society, God, animals, all living things. It's not just a snowstorm, it's the blizzard of 2011 or Snow Spectacular. Whatever!

Now, while I acknowledge that the media does this, I also know that that's simply the media being what it is. This massive exaggeration has gone on forever & will likely continue until society collapses onto itself. I'm sure this even happened before the printing press considering there were town criers. Essentially, the media is today's town crier.

The problem I have is with people who further this media frenzy. Or even better, the people who take this media frenzy to a whole new level of blind panic & hysteria. These are the people who will turn the mountain into Mount Everest.

If the media turned a snowball into a snowman, these people turn the average snowman into the Abominable Snowman.

Case in point. This week, there was a minor earthquake in NYC. I felt a little shaking and thought maybe it was neighbors at first. Then I thought it was just me seeing things. Then, it was over.

The next day, I read about chuckleheads who claimed this earthquake made them apprehensive that they were going to experience another 9/11 attack.

Were you really a few miles away from me at the time? I understand feeling that way if you were in D.C. since it was stronger there, but if you're in NYC & claim this, you're one of these instigators feeding into the media frenzy. Stop being an idiot!

Furthermore, I know 9/11 was a traumatic event here but stop thinking every little thing that happens in NYC is connected to terrorism or associated with 9/11. Sometimes, a fart is just a fart all right? Plus, if you were smart, why would you target the place where everyone's looking for more terrorist attacks to happen? There are plenty of other cities in the US and more places where there are lots of people if that's your goal. I'm sure some of them are not nearly as prepared or endowed with the kind of resources NYC is.

Oh, and lastly: when it's your time to go, it's your time to go. We're all going to die someday so while you're alive, you may as well live free, rationally & in a manner that will make you happy without hurting innocent people. Living in fear isn't living at all, got it? Let law enforcement worry about terrorist stuff & don't let people take your civil rights from you.

Let's face it: the terrorists already won & if you don't agree, you live in a fog of delusion no amount of common sense will stir you out of. You're officially one of the sheeple!

So now, with Hurricane Irene heading toward NYC and Long Island, there's more panic & hysteria. Try finding water or batteries here, even earlier today: you'd be out of luck. We went grocery shopping earlier and saw some of this firsthand. There was nothing but a wide, empty space of shelves where the bottled water would be. This was the case in every store we went into.

It seems there are also some differences between city dwellers and suburbanites. People in the suburbs seem more prone to freaking out. You mention any major weather condition and it's like telling them the Rapture is going to hit tomorrow. I'm shocked I didn't see anyone running around screaming "Oh, ag-o-ny ag-o-nyyyy!" while grabbing the sides of their head like Daffy Duck in that Looney Tunes cartoon The Great Piggy Bank Robbery.

Apparently there was the same stocking up in NYC but city dwellers take this stuff in stride. Much like me, they feel it's much ado over nothing.

They closed our transit system starting at noon tomorrow. They also evacuated parts of the city (and not our area, despite in-laws claiming we were blocks away from evacuation; welcome to more hysteria). Part of this is due to Bloomberg's incompetence during the blizzard in December. You can read about that in this blog considering I took pics of the incompetence & total lying he was doing about my area being serviceable. Ha!

I also had to deal with constant tornado freakouts growing up. Anytime there was a thunderstorm in NC, people would claim a tornado touched down & everyone would panic. Institute a tornado watch & people would immediately go into freakout mode. I went through exactly 1 tornado while living there. I also went through exactly 1 hurricane (Hugo, back in 1989). During the hurricane, I was in a trailer. Survived that just fine, thanks.

We're slated to get a Category 1. My biggest concern is the power going out, though we have our precautions set. I believe in not being stupid but at the same time, lighten up people!!! Take a chill pill, get a grip. Stop going overboard & stressing out over weather stuff. You can't control it. You can't change it so sit down, shut up & stop buying into media hype. For God's sake, stop creating exaggeration & doing the Man's job in creating a culture of fear.

More rants in the next few days if I've got power & people are actually on the ball about fixing it.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Go Big or Go Home!!!!!

I'm particularly partial to that statement as both an entertainment professional and as an attorney. To me, it means don't bring half-assed effort to what you do. If you're going to do something, put in all your effort. Give it all you have or don't bother wasting people's time!

One of my absolute biggest pet peeves is people who claim to be in support of an issue but then whine about the terminology used or about folks not wanting to be "nice" or "solicitous" to the other side. This particularly galls me in the realm of social protest or dealing with political issues.

Here's an example of the type of statement that pisses me off:

"War is war. What our government and politicians are doing to women is ignorant and unacceptable. Let's not wage wars. THere's too much fucking war in the world. If you all would tone down your headlines and verbiage, I'd be so much more interested, and likely, to read what your saying. The issues are important but, please, stop the violence, stop the hate."

I had to give a response to this moron. Much of what I said has already been expressed here & I will not go into details on my personal views on abortion since that's something you can see in earlier entries. This particular rant is a bit different.

Basically, the reason you can't call me a "tree hugging liberal" is because I'm not anti-war. I'm anti-stupid war. There's a difference. When someone is attacking me, you'd better believe I'm in favor of doing whatever I have to defend myself. You may very well get a war for messing with me or mine. As you may know, I believe committing certain acts means you've forfeited your human rights & should have no expectation that I'll treat you like a human being.

This particular writer pissed me off because she would rather play "friends" with people who literally piss on her rights as a woman instead of being in favor of real action to fix the issue, regardless of any argument or rhetoric used. I guarantee you these politicians didn't think for a moment about what she or any other one of these anti-war tree huggers thought. Why are they bitching about the terminology a group uses to rally people to fight back?

The Malcolm Xs of the world are the ones who made changes stick in terms of injustices. They are the ones who fought & said "no more." Do you think Malcolm X cared about offending someone's PC sensibilities or what some crybaby had to say about any terms he used in speeches?

Sometimes, nice doesn't cut it. I assisted on lobbying work with a former legal client in the past. You could not write passive, "Mother May I" platitudes if you wanted to get a response. You have to be bold, you have to be direct. Think anyone's going to listen if you use soft, cuddly phrases & imagery?

This does NOT mean you curse people out or threaten to hurt them. Anyone who's good at persuasion can make a point without resorting to violence or credible threats. However, you have to start making it personal. You have to remind politicians that they serve the people & are not royalty. As they say, if you want to make an omelet, you have to break a few eggs.

If you are truly passionate about an issue, you don't run around whining about the use (or lack thereof) of PC terms or act like everyone's your buddy or cares about you as a person. Because, newsflash: plenty of people do not give a shit about you or your position. Look at how much Bloomberg cares about the people's views regarding a Wal-Mart in NYC! Seriously, research this & see what's he's done. Need I say more?

It's a hostile environment & you'd better assume no one respects you as a person. Expect to get brushed off, pushed aside & so forth. If you REALLY care about your cause, you're going to get on board & understand this. You don't let people shove you down & trust has to be earned from you. You follow up & become a pest if you have to. Hey, if you care that much about a cause you don't worry about offending anyone or being people's friends. You're arguing a point & being respected should be far more important than being loved.

If it's my cause, I'm not walking in there like I'm groveling to the king for a bread crumb. I walk in as an equal and someone you'd better take seriously since I'm giving you rational, valid arguments that aren't easily refuted. This is where being a good debator/orator/researcher come in. You bet I'll go for the jugular in a debate. Lawyers have to do that in court; they can't be passive little flowers & fear offending people in making rational arguments. Their clients would feel cheated + the ethics rules require attorneys to "zealously defend clients".

Not "half-assed" or "tepid" defense but "zealous advocacy!!" Even unpopular people are entitled to lawyers, though I wouldn't be qualified to take some of those cases due to personal beliefs.

Going through life as a wimp doesn't help you do anything (yes, that's what these people are, including the author of that remark). I feel people who are so PC obsessed aren't committed to a cause and should just go home. They are also dead inside just like dream killers.

Monday, August 15, 2011

General Musings Part 25

Wow, can't believe I've done 25 of these. This will be a mix of articles & rants you can read more detail on elsewhere.

* First off, thank you Jerry Lewis. I totally agree with him on this & I'm over 50 years younger. Reality TV and being on these competition shows does NOT make you a star. It just doesn't. I'm not the only one who feels this way, either. Do you honestly think the average film company executive is going to cast some reality TV star as the lead in a feature film?? If you think that person's getting anything more than a brief cameo, you're sadly mistaken.

That is because legitimate companies & agents know better than to try to make us think a reality TV star is in any way an artist. See my earlier post on reality TV & its "performers." That explains it all.

* This article asks "Is There a Way To Become Layoff-Proof?" I'll give you my answer. It's very glib & simple. Ready?

The best way to be layoff-proof is (drumroll, please)...to work for your damn self!!!!!!!!!! If you aren't competent to do something on your own, get some partners who are just as passionate & dedicated as you but who have skills/competencies you don't. Then you'll have to be voted out instead of laid off. You'll also be able to give scuzzy employers the proverbial middle finger if you so choose.

Yeah, reading articles like this confirm that I'm long past working for a major employer. I don't have the capacity for the bullshit & I don't get those who want to grovel to assholes who could care less about them. Relationships, jobs, friendships, where ever.

* This "career advice" article also makes my super cynical side come out.

In the law firm associate world, you can do all this stuff & STILL get laid off. There are countless stories about total lack of loyalty and barracuda behavior. In fact, you have a better chance at staring on Broadway or winning the lottery than you do at making partner at the average big law firm. A friend actually told me about associates having to become indentured servants to the law firm partners at one firm or having zero chance at being considered for a partnership (yes, doing personal favors for a boss qualifies in my book as becoming that person's indentured servant). I'm also willing to bet there are many female law firm partners who had to perform sexual favors or put up with serious sexual harassment from the partners to get there, especially in the past.

Let's also talk about government jobs (at least locally, I have no clue if this applies to federal). The only way to get promoted in those is by being the biggest incompetent on Earth. Seriously! I say this based on what I have personally seen and heard with my own senses in various venues, especially when my husband's being treated like garbage. You want to kill employee loyalty & get folks to leave in droves??? Operate your business like a government job or a large law firm.

In fact, the attrition rate at major law firms is extremely low. Particularly among women & minorities. Good thing I'm not in the minority in wanting a quality of life & some recognition for a job well done. If someone's not going to give you any, you may as well give it to yourself.

This author has obviously never worked in either atmosphere so I can't take this "advice" seriously.

* Some more BS career advice can be found here (half of this is contrary to what I've heard from actual employers, plus I'm not going to thank someone for rejecting me)& here (some of this is good but #2 doesn't account for some poorly worded job descriptions I have seen).

* Thanks for the obvious, University of Amsterdam researchers! Now could you somehow get business owners to stop promoting these nuts to managerial roles & allowing them to make major business decisions? Society would owe you an eternal debt of gratitude if you did.

* This should have you outraged, just as it outraged me when I read it.

First off, have you pricks forgotten about something called the Constitution? Have you forgotten about "freedom of assembly" and "freedom of speech?"

Second, let me clue you in on something. Crime has always existed & it will continue to exist. The laughable punishments you get in America for breaking the law is one big reason for this. Another is the fact that if someone is motivated enough to do something, they will do it no matter what type of barrier you put in place for it. Consider terrorist attacks. How many did the TSA actually stop?? NONE!!!!! That agency is a mere dog & pony show designed to give the illusion of safety & violate the rights of law-abiding citizens. Personally, I consider going through a machine that exposes as much as if you saw me naked or a "patdown" more graphic than that of the standard police arrest procedure a violation of my rights, thanks very much. It's why I refuse to fly unless it's on a private plane.

I hope the ACLU wins this one & doesn't allow these people to behave like corrupt forces in countries where democracy is a total joke. The US is heading more & more down that path. Just wait. Sit around & let folks take your rights, basic liberty, etc. away & you will be left with totalitarianism. Take a look at history & remember that saying "Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

* It's too bad Warren Buffett isn't running for President. If he's got some sane viewpoints aside from his economic stances, I'd consider voting for him. Perhaps he & his rich friends should make sure the prick politicians who are not in favor of raising their taxes by even 0.0001% while breaking the backs of the poor & middle class get NOTHING in campaign funding. If it were me, I sure would.

He's said some astute things in the past. Perhaps the people in power should start listening to him & applying some of these tactics instead of whining about the other party or trying to outlaw abortion.

* Finally, saw this yesterday about some mega-church pastor being dead.

Personally, anytime I hear "mega church pastor" I think "corrupt, hypocritical asshole who won't do the right thing unless you pay him/her." Can you blame me? Look at how many of those types were involved in sex scandals, stole money from their churches & have campaigned for politicians!! I hate people who wear religion like a robe while promoting some Republican's presidential campaign. I'd hate to see it for any candidate from any party but more often than not, it seems to come from the Republican side of the fence.

Churches are supposed to be neutral! I shouldn't have to be a Democrat or a Republican to be welcome in a house of worship! Talk about being un-Christian.

Otherwise, you should just turn the church into a political club or some politician's campaign headquarters. This is why I would never in a million years become a member of one of these "mega churches." You might end up going to Hell by association. Got a problem with that? Read your Bible. It says that God doesn't like people who make a big show of being religious & use prayer or other religious rituals as a public sideshow or circus. You should be following the faith without engaging in the "I'm more devout than YOU" pissing matches. Taking money to do the right thing or political canvassing for someone is the same thing. I personally think that when a church acts more like a lobbyist, it should immediately lose its tax exempt status. It's only fair to the other lobbyists.

I hope this fellow wasn't one of the corrupt jerks who seem to run mega churches. If he wasn't, then that truly stinks since cynics like me would love to see more mega churches headed by people who live by their faith. If he was, then I have no sympathy. See my earlier posts on deaths of people I don't know.

Sums it up, I think.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

$75 for Legal Services?!?!?! What Drugs Are You Taking?

There are some very good reasons to hate lawyers. I don't like the ones who try to take over my work when I ask a simple question or who tell people to never have any dreams while complaining about how much they hate their lives. I also hate the arrogant jerks & those are in bountiful supply in the legal field. Thankfully, that's not every single attorney or I'd never do squat for the field.

I saw this ad yesterday on Craig's List and it epitomizes exactly why many attorneys hate particular clients or won't offer freebies:

Need an Attorney Writer - REVISED (New York City)

Date: 2011-08-10, 10:08AM EDT
Reply to: gigs-jfjpq-2539432954@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I need a licensed new york lawyer to register a corporation for me and prepare all the paperwork and serve as a registered agent of process. The lawyer must a PO BOX or physical address to receive processes if there are ever any. Newly licensed attorneys and senior lawyers welcome to apply. We are a small start up hence budget our current budget is limited. But there will be prospects of future business. $75 is intended for attorney fees only I will pay all the filling fees to the govt seperately

Location: New York City
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $75 for attorney fees

PostingID: 2539432954

This was just so appalling, I had to respond. Here's what I wrote:

Legal Zoom charges more than the $75 you propose to pay to an attorney for that kind of work. In fact, I know attorneys charge on average over $300 for this. $75 is a low hourly rate for even a BRAND NEW attorney (as in just got admitted to the bar yesterday). I've written business letters of 2-3 pages for $250.

Stop insulting attorneys with your pitiful $75 for hours & hours of work! It costs more than that to pay for ONE attorney CLE class (CLE classes are required in the state of NY for an attorney to keep a NY license) & on average, lawyers have to undertake hundreds of THOUSANDS of DOLLARS of NON-DISCHARGEABLE loan debt just to get licensed.

You'd be wise to remember the saying "you get what you pay for."

Signed, a licensed NY attorney who wouldn't set up a relative's corporation for $75

The subject heading was "What You NEED is a Clue." By the way, completely true that Legal Zoom would charge more than $75 to do this sort of thing in NY.

I have no idea who some of the people who post ads on Craig's List think they are. Does this person honestly think any attorney worth their salt would take this? And with that kind of regard for legal services, do you really think an attorney is going to give a damn about you or go above & beyond?

Shit like this is why I no longer go above & beyond unless I know the client will appreciate it & won't even consider representing anyone who can't be vetted in some way by someone I know. You bet I wouldn't set up a relative's corporation for $75, especially with the headache relatives will give you in general.

If you want a volunteer lawyer, try going through a legal clinic or volunteer group. Lawyers will happily volunteer time there. Case in point: I'm doing this in a couple months for a cause & demographic I care about + have some knowledge on. Doing that benefits lawyers since they get cache in their circle, are eligible for CLE credit & will not have to pay out of pocket for anything more than transportation. They don't have to get malpractice insurance, set up an office, pay for a PO Box or incur the kinds of costs this simpleton & his/her ilk want to impose on lawyers.

The amount doesn't bother me nearly as much as the total lack of respect for what lawyers have to go through & the realities of working in the field. Low amounts like this say to attorneys "I have no respect for your trade or expertise. I don't respect you as a professional either."

Hating attorneys because they do not want to be low-balled or perform freebies on command is not justified. These people should make these requests to their friends & inner circle instead of posting them as ads on Craig's List. I've said as much to posters asking for egregious and appalling things, oftentimes things I'd expect from a networking group of peers where the affiliation is based on trust, an interest in helping others & so forth.

If you don't want ridicule, save these kinds of favors for your personal contacts & don't waste the time of people seeking legitimate PAYING employment.

One more thing. If you want me to send you personal information, you'll have to identify yourself first. There are too many scam artists and people trying to use lawyers to perpetuate illegal activity (read some of my prior entries). There are even bored, unemployed lawyers wasting good money to post ridiculous job ads, collect resumes & ridicule responders to the stupid ad. Such an incident was documented in "Above the Law" (some legal tabloid blog a bunch of big shot lawyers read, for those who don't know or like me, could really care less about).

Maybe they ought to be working as sociologists or psychologists instead since they could classify that as legitimate research vs. time wasting BS that diminishes attorneys & Craig's List even further (if you can believe that's possible). Perhaps they could get grants to fund that research so they'd end up coming out better than just throwing money away on stupidity.

Until you get on board to wipe out law school loan debt or change the bankruptcy law so we're not all living with a six-figure burden until we're all dead, don't whine to me about how you can't get a lawyer to do hours of legal work for $75.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

What's Wrong With Typical Lawyers??? That Response Requires a Miniseries

Now, yes maybe I come at some of this from a biased perspective. Then again, if people kept their mouths shut based on bias no one would ever speak about anything. We're ALL biased in some way.

First off, I read this story a few days ago about a bar exam taker who continued taking the bar exam while in labor.

I know her fellow bar exam takers had to be thrilled about that. Labor is a very quiet event. No one ever screams or cries in agony when they have it, right? If I recall, you're supposed to be quiet while taking the bar exam. Bar exam takers also tend to get psychotic about absolute silence; in fact, it's not uncommon for people taking the exam to wear earplugs while taking it. Earplugs are actually recommended fare just like a sweater or long sleeved shirt.

Let me tell you, they also strictly adhere to that whole "being quiet" thing. You'd probably get lynched if you had a coughing fit or even engaged in something slight like tapping your nails on the table. Quite a few current & aspiring lawyers get pissed over things that the rest of the world would consider trivial. I could see a fist fight result from something like that.

I think if the proctors let this woman finish her exam while she was in screaming pain or disturbing others in some significant fashion, they should be allowing her fellow exam takers get a make-up day or some different scoring to reflect that distraction. I'd have wanted to kill someone for that if it were me. Seriously, the stress you go under & the craziness that comes from taking any bar exam is epic. I can't think of anyone I know in the legal field who'd have been happy taking the bar exam in the same room with a woman in labor or even slightly understanding of it. And this is normal people I'm speaking of, not your typical prick personality types that the study of law tends to attract in droves.

I also can't imagine her score being too great if she did this while in labor since I'd figure the pain would be distracting you from your work. I can't even focus on sex if I'm uncomfortable so there's no way in Hell I could have done this. Maybe that's why I don't work in BigLaw; I've got my priorities in order & no job trumps my family, health or identity. For those who think it should, I say "Fuck you!" and know you won't have any mourners at your funeral.

While on the subject of people who should go fuck themselves, how about dream killers? This blog post sums up the mindset & definition of a dream killer.

I give this guy credit for telling the scam bloggers to get off their asses & do more than bitch about things if they feel SOOOO cheated by their law schools but on this, I dramatically disagree. If you've read this blog often, it's as plain as the nose on your face but here are some reasons why being a dream killer is bad.

1. Dream killers are pussies, first and foremost. They are afraid to take any type of risk in their lives or break out of their self-imposed prisons.

Because of this, they make it their life's work to discourage anyone from standing up to BS or changing the status quo. The people who changed the world were definitely not the dream killers.

2. Dream killers are the first people who bitch about how their lives suck. They'll drive you nuts with it, in fact.

3. Dream killers are lazy. They never bother making changes in their own lives. Heck, we can safely say they don't really live life. They are spiritually dead inside.

If you listen to the dream killers of the world, we'd never have many successful people we have today. Many famous actors who came from nothing would still be unknowns. Lots of companies wouldn't exist since the heads of some well known companies whose services & products we use today didn't come from money.

For that matter, coming from money doesn't mean your life is easy or you never have to prove yourself. Hard to believe for some people but I do know some actual folk from money whose parents made them work hard to earn their place in the world. I knew quite a few who had business relationships with relatives. It's been my observation that coming from money can be just as hard as coming from nothing.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see so many dream killers who are lawyers. There are many who fit those basic categories. I also know 2 very concrete details about the author of this blog based on that post.

First off, he's never lost a close relative close in age to him in a tragic manner. People experiencing those losses know better than to tell a child to aspire to be a tree pusher like his father (to borrow from Dinosaurs). They'd tell you to do the exact opposite.

Second, he's from the middle class. I don't see him telling some kid who wanted to get out of poverty to submit to their future life of poverty. If he would, he should be forced to hand over his human being card (if he ever had one to begin with).

Could you imagine someone telling that to me, especially at a young age? First off, you'd have given me zero motivation to do a damn thing. Let's take the dream killing philosophy to its logical conclusion if you come from a lower class background: you don't want to be a teen mom & you don't want to live in a slum, be a drug dealer, whatever is characteristic of your upbringing. If someone figures there's no way out, they'll either commit suicide or lash out in a big way.

Second, you'd have given me encouragement to become a serial killer. Because if God or whoever is going to screw me over by my having no way to move ahead, I'm sure not going down without taking some people with me. Did this jackhole or some other one like him pass on this sage advice to the Columbine shooters? If you can't leave your condition or do anything you find productive (and not everyone wants the little white picket fence & 2.3 kids), why would you give a damn about law & order? What is your incentive to abide by the status quo? There's also the whole self-hate issue. If someone hates themselves, why would they care about anyone or anything else? They're not going to consider how you or anyone else would feel about being robbed, killed, etc.

Here's my thought on doing things:

Encourage people to dream & tell them to seize the day. However, they need to go to the professionals. Go see a legitimate talent agent/manager. Talk to legitimate figures in whatever you want to do. Let them tell you if you have what it takes, not some has been or never been who doesn't know anything about what you want to do. Professionals, especially in the entertainment business, are not shy about telling you if you haven't got what it takes. Some do, some don't. Sports aren't my forte, for instance. I also can't lift heavy stuff or flirt.

Dream killers really piss me off b/c as far as I'm concerned, it's not some random jerk's place to tell anyone about their potential & what they can or can't do. Unless you are a professional at what some child wants to do, you can keep your damn mouth shut!

In one of the last comments on that blog post, an anonymous dream killer told another poster who had my views to commit suicide. Personally, dream killers are doing the world a favor if they kill themselves. It's probably inevitable anyway since they'll just die as broken people or victims of their own misery.

I have been asked to give advice about going to law school & the like. I never tell anyone not to do it since it's not my place to say that (though I may advise you against certain schools). I just state the cold hard facts about employment, debt, etc. I mention my own career path is not something you'll likely get to do yourself. Then, I mention that I beat many odds to get where I am & wouldn't change it at all. Essentially, I tell people what they're getting into & that it's hard but not impossible if you're driven, ambitious & determined enough.

Lastly, I'm shocked some blogger used the FX show Wilfred as an example of an accurate depiction of the average lawyer.

I didn't see the first episode but I have seen the rest of them. They are about Ryan, Wilfred and their adventures with the presence of Wilfred's owner, Jenna.

I'm in disagreement on this since the lead graduated from Stanford. STANFORD!!! Not some little school in CA that's not ABA accredited or even a 3rd or 4th tier school. Not realistic to me, thanks.

I also caught some episodes of the Australian series on IFC & taped the ones they aired since we were gone part of the day IFC played them. Not seen enough of that series to assess that one but the American one is great. It's great casting, great writing & Wilfred is just hilarious. He's also the same actor as in the Australian version, which I like. My husband even said "Who else could play Wilfred?"

There was no Ryan in the Australian version, by the way. I'm not doing a show summary here but I think people should watch Wilfred because it's a great show, not because Ryan's a realistic portrayal of a lawyer (though I can relate to his hatred of it). If you want that, I'd consider Marsha Owens from Mr. Belvedere. She didn't go to a fancy law school, wasn't on law review or even in the top 25% of her class & only got a job at this big law firm because a partner there wanted to sleep with her. They go out of town for a case & he tries to proposition her at a hotel. Then she ends up working at the "legal hut" at the mall after spurning this guy. This was an 80s show, I might add.

For that matter, do all attorneys of the world want to be thought of as pot heads who make fools of themselves in front of women & hear talking dogs? That's one to ponder.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Working Undercover, Romantic Notions & School Bashing

So my temp job is going to be ending pretty soon (Tuesday, I'm pretty sure). I've been DYING to write about that experience but figured I couldn't do it until I finished. Some great insight & comedy have come out of it.

You may wonder why I've not just worked in some law firm or something instead of taking jobs that aren't really "lawyer" style jobs. Here's why?

1. Reduced stress. Legal jobs are so stressful, it's insane. I've had to go through my paperwork for legal matters with ex-clients and just doing that has been enough for me. If I ever did litigation, I wouldn't do it on my own. I would insist on doing it with some law firm or team of lawyers. If you don't want to take work home with you, being in a lawyer job is not the way to go.

2. Inspiration for writing/new experiences. Face it, you can get much more of this doing different types of jobs and not just the same one day in & day out. I also use this to justify trying new things I have an interest in.

3. Romantic notions of working as an "undercover boss." Lawyers are perceived by society very differently than the average phone interviewer/marketer. I can mention being a lawyer in some situations and it scares the hell out of folk. However, if you knew about my antics back in the day you wouldn't be shocked at all.

You have to watch out for romantic notions, though. Sometimes what you think is cool & interesting doesn't always turn out that way. Case in point: the manner in which I met Psycho Boy. I know you haven't heard this one.

I met Psycho Boy when he was working at a grocery store we frequented. As usual, my sister was begging for food my mom couldn't afford. I was always trying to talk my mom out of giving in to her & my dad, who were notorious for begging for wants. I got even better at this after being in college & asking family members how they thought I got things if I couldn't afford them. I said I had to put them back since my looks weren't getting me the extra groceries. Though I guess considering I got that free Blockbuster rental once & it had to have been my looks since what other reason was there for it, maybe I should have tried it sometime.

One thing I'd often do at the grocery store was check out guys. Yeah, I'm not ashamed to say that. This was the first summer I was coming back to my hometown & not being perceived as "the ugly girl." I had been doing new things & getting male attention in college. Plus, you need something to do in that town.

As we're shopping, my mom notices that this guy is following us. Seems like every time we're on a particular aisle, there is this guy. He even got up the nerve to say "Howdy" to me at one point. After this, my sister speculates that he's interested in me & claims he's probably still in high school (as most guys working in grocery stores tend to be). This prompts me to say that I'd rather not be in jail like Mary Kay Letourneau (I was 19 at the time).

So anyway, after I find out he's legal I get his phone number. As a form of revenge, I figured he'd given me a fake phone number.

A few weeks later, he approaches my sister at the store & asks why I haven't called him. She mentioned the phone number & that time, he gave her his real number. I told him about this phone number thing & he said he avoided looking at me as revenge then denied giving me a fake number. I found it hard to believe that I could make any guy nervous enough to mangle his own telephone number, especially after I'd just started being perceived as legitimately pretty by the opposite sex vs. "playing around" flirt guy kind of ribbing.

Could I? I guess it depends on who you ask. People who've seen guys react to me after I put in no effort at all would probably look at you like you were an idiot for even asking that question. I'm still mystified by that sort of thing but now I'm more used to it.

However, I think I mentioned what ended up happening with that whole relationship. That experience really confirmed the phrase "be careful what you wish for." It's still spooky that my husband has an ex who'd have been this guy's perfect match from what I hear about her.

I saw the recent trend on Facebook about "You know you did XYZ if..." A friend of mine commented on that regarding the high school we attended & I saw others comments about this notoriously difficult English teacher. I felt obliged to write a little about my exploits in light of discussion on a computer science class I got out of in a special way.

I was in my senior year & already had most of my credits to graduate. I was in the class one day & felt there was no way I could do it. To avoid early graduation or utter boredom, I was taking 2 AP level classes. One was English since I felt if I was going to have a hard English class, I may as well get AP credit for it. Better experience since I got to meet people from other high schools that hadn't marked me as "that ugly girl" or "our victim."

Now typically, they wouldn't let you wait on required classes & I needed a Math credit that this class would have given me. However, I had the option to take Pre-Calculus the next semester & actually was saved when the head librarian at my school offered me a page position.

I was commenting that something like that probably happened to me since I'd taken on this asshole gym teacher who was grading on one's athletic abilities (which I have none), being sexist in the grading AND I hadn't even signed up for the class + tried 3 different times to get out of it for something else. I wasn't able to take Dance that semester because I was taking Honors Seminar, the AP level English/Social Studies class for freshmen & sophomores. Plus, I was certain the D I got in that class would keep me from being in National Honor Society. Learning all this created the basis for my petition, which was signed by a lot of people. My parents weren't happy with that either & sided with me against this teacher.

See, unlike some people I grew up not having blind obedience to someone because of their status as an adult. We saw plenty of adults who weren't worthy of respect & even my mother said respect has to be earned, not given as a matter of course. There were teachers at our school she didn't have any respect for since she felt they weren't earning it. She even wondered how they expected to get respect from students since it's not a divine right.

If you follow blind obedience of authority to a dramatic degree, you could end up a victim of sex abuse at worst (there were a few abusers living in my own neighborhood that I learned about later on) and at best end up blindly obeying stupid & pointless rules that exist for no good reason other than to please the little Hitlers. Part of this undoubtedly comes from my own experiences with an alcoholic parent, an adult I didn't respect because of behavior and actions. Heck, this guy stole my allowance as a child! Allowance I saved on my own for my own purposes. I think if you were me, you'd also not be willing to listen to arbitrary asshole types. Those people still piss me off so I make effort not to be that way.

As I recalled that story, I realized I was a smart kid & a rebel all at once. I even said they should rename my school to "Parkland Prison" and would publicly criticize the school when I had a chance & truly saw some BS. When I was in the Miss Parkland pageant my senior year, I gave as my answer to the question "What is the most prevalent issue facing the school?" that administrators were too busy worrying about little things like whether the snack machines were on during break time when there were bigger problems to deal with like the presence of drugs on campus. The entire audience loudly applauds after this answer & it was indeed true.

I figured that if I wasn't going to be liked or have any kind of group accept me, I was going to at least be respected & speak my mind. By senior year, I really felt I should seize the day & was ready to start my new life elsewhere. Reading about high schools today & how they act more like corporations than institutes of learning (case in point being the story about the black female valedictorian who was given a "co" slot with a lower ranked white female), I have to figure I had nothing negative about me to justify nastiness toward me. In fact, I'd have likely been more sympathetic than most people with my family life & flawless records. I was not the kid who disturbed class or got into trouble. I also rarely spoke so I guess when I did, people were more apt to listen.

For the record, if someone earns the valedictorian position honestly (no cheating or weighted GPA crap) you give them that slot. I don't care if the person sold drugs, killed people, whatever. If they did something that puts them away from being the All-American kid, guess what? That speech will have far more meaning & the person's more of a role model for their peers. That's a living symbol of "If I could overcome my own struggles to do this, you've got no excuse not to be successful." I'd give much more cred to that person than the All-American kid & I think they'd write a much better speech with more meaning, honesty and sincerity. Punishing someone for that after they earned a valedictorian slot just teaches that person that the system is shit & the establishment shouldn't be trusted. Welcome to a recipe for disaster.

Now I have to fast for 10 hours for a medical exam for life insurance. This will be loads of fun (sarcasm). I also tend to get nauseous if I don't eat after a while & aren't doing something very distracting.