So the next couple of weeks will be busy for me. First off, have a job interview on Tuesday for a job I'm actually not overqualified for + would want to do. Wednesday is the NYC premiere of "Uptown," a feature film from One Way. If you get a chance, see this movie. It's really good.
Saturday I'm going to go visit family in NC for a week. Scary that my NC views may just increase if I use their computer to write any entries here. Not sure if I will b/c my week's going to be pretty booked up. Right now, I'm looking forward to having some food items there that you can't get here. Seeing family & friends who live there is a no-brainer. Some of these people should visit ME, though (hint, hint).
NYC's a fun place to visit & my husband + me know of decent, low cost things to do that won't be crawling w/tons of tourists. If you walk down the street in a touristy area like Penn Station or Times Square, you can pick out the locals & the tourists pretty easily. The tourists will stand in the middle of the sidewalk, marvel at things & walk very slowly while the locals just walk in the bike lane to get past everyone. The locals also walk a lot faster on the whole. If you want to get someplace quick, just follow the locals.
Anyway, food items I plan to see about having:
1. Real hushpuppies: Whatever you do, don't go to ACME Restaurant to get them. I was very, VERY disappointed. My family knows of places that have good ones so I'm definitely taking advantage while I'm down there.
2. Chick-Fil-A: There's no official one in NYC (as in, open year round & has a full menu) & driving to Paramus is not something I can do every single weekend. Tolls & gas $ add up; I + plenty of other city residents would like to see one here, damn it! This place is healthier & I don't like their chain competitors.
3. Steak & Shake: Haven't gotten to go in years since hubby & I went on vacation to FL & drove from FL to my parents' house in NC. I'll have to see if I can still eat it or not.
4. Krispy Kreme doughnuts: their headquarters are in my hometown, you know. I'll be going to another doughnut shop as well but I do plan to ask about this since I'm not sure if the store at Penn Station will be open when I have to get the train. With my luck, it won't be.
I still have to think of more stuff but visiting has more appeal than it used to since my family moved to a different area, got a house w/room in it & generally seem much happier. I can't live there again since I'd miss NYC too much & my husband + I would fit in as well as Joe Pesci & Marisa Tomei's characters fit into Alabama in My Cousin Vinny. I can visit for about a week, maybe 2 tops but that's my limit.
Yes, even though I'm from there originally I do feel like that. At least my friends & family that I deal with aren't pushing motherhood on me; I'm very happy being an auntie. Ideally, the cool auntie who always has adventures w/stories & fun gifts to give.
Seriously, I'm still mad about the hushpuppies. That experience has stopped me from trying any more in NYC & don't care to fry food in oil at home. Too many stories about serious injury & I like not getting burned, thanks. I swear, if I get bad ones again I'd probably have to ask for the cook's head on a silver platter.
Now going to get some water & hopefully get some sleep. I'm not really tired right now but maybe that's b/c it's a bit warm in my house.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
General Musings, Part 2
Here we go.
My thoughts on this:
1. I have to agree w/people who claim this story & the media as a whole are taking a liberal bias on illegal immigration. This would be the same as letting a murderer who escaped from jail be exonerated for calling 911 for a rape victim. You do the crime, you do the time. Whether a particular law should be enforced or even on the books is a whole other issue but I think the immigration laws should be enforced equally for all & the punishment for hiring illegals should be so severe to even damage the business of multi-million dollar corporations. Jail some of these executives in, to borrow a term from Office Space, "Pound me in the ass Prison" w/no bail & they'll get their act together.
In short, I don't have sympathy for illegals who whine about having to face the music when they perform their civic duty like we expect people to in an orderly & decent society. They should have thought about that before getting involved in a situation. Could this man not have made an anonymous phone call?
2. I also agree that illegals should not be using the state tuition rate, resources & seats in educational programs that citizens should be using and very well may have wanted to but for the illegal. There's a little thing called the library; if your city government is still funding your system, I suggest you use it. They don't care if you're an illegal & some even offer free English courses. Use them if you truly want to be an American & move up like so many people have done before you.
Second rant: Yesterday, after seeing an ad for an unpaid internship requiring 30-40 hours of work per WEEK (but "flexible") in a start-up beauty company I have to post a link to this petition.
The petition is here.
Demanding, aren't we? At least in my industry, the people I've come across are well aware that they're not paying you & actually appreciate you helping them. More people I see in the entertainment industry don't make those kinds of demands on people working for NO pay. I would never expect anyone to give up a paying day job & devote that kind of time to me w/out some kind of payment. I would certainly never label a person working that many hours for months on end an "intern."
I also agree heavily w/another ad I read there.
Some of us DO get paid for our writing talent. I actually have, being a lawyer notwithstanding.
Also reminds me of the old adage "you get what you pay for." Pay substandard or nothing & you will not get high quality. I've worked w/starting businesses but I only pick those that have some staying power & are organized. Everyone thinks they can write but it's a lot harder than it looks & there aren't many good writers. There are fewer superior writers. Anyone who's been asked to read a film script can tell you this.
You also have to have a lot of passion to do such things & if the environment is not one of respect and treating people like human beings, you're not going to get very far finding people to work for no pay regardless of their employment status. People always want to know what's in it for them so if you don't have a good answer to that, you're doomed. That's just how it is.
My thoughts on this:
1. I have to agree w/people who claim this story & the media as a whole are taking a liberal bias on illegal immigration. This would be the same as letting a murderer who escaped from jail be exonerated for calling 911 for a rape victim. You do the crime, you do the time. Whether a particular law should be enforced or even on the books is a whole other issue but I think the immigration laws should be enforced equally for all & the punishment for hiring illegals should be so severe to even damage the business of multi-million dollar corporations. Jail some of these executives in, to borrow a term from Office Space, "Pound me in the ass Prison" w/no bail & they'll get their act together.
In short, I don't have sympathy for illegals who whine about having to face the music when they perform their civic duty like we expect people to in an orderly & decent society. They should have thought about that before getting involved in a situation. Could this man not have made an anonymous phone call?
2. I also agree that illegals should not be using the state tuition rate, resources & seats in educational programs that citizens should be using and very well may have wanted to but for the illegal. There's a little thing called the library; if your city government is still funding your system, I suggest you use it. They don't care if you're an illegal & some even offer free English courses. Use them if you truly want to be an American & move up like so many people have done before you.
Second rant: Yesterday, after seeing an ad for an unpaid internship requiring 30-40 hours of work per WEEK (but "flexible") in a start-up beauty company I have to post a link to this petition.
The petition is here.
Demanding, aren't we? At least in my industry, the people I've come across are well aware that they're not paying you & actually appreciate you helping them. More people I see in the entertainment industry don't make those kinds of demands on people working for NO pay. I would never expect anyone to give up a paying day job & devote that kind of time to me w/out some kind of payment. I would certainly never label a person working that many hours for months on end an "intern."
I also agree heavily w/another ad I read there.
Some of us DO get paid for our writing talent. I actually have, being a lawyer notwithstanding.
Also reminds me of the old adage "you get what you pay for." Pay substandard or nothing & you will not get high quality. I've worked w/starting businesses but I only pick those that have some staying power & are organized. Everyone thinks they can write but it's a lot harder than it looks & there aren't many good writers. There are fewer superior writers. Anyone who's been asked to read a film script can tell you this.
You also have to have a lot of passion to do such things & if the environment is not one of respect and treating people like human beings, you're not going to get very far finding people to work for no pay regardless of their employment status. People always want to know what's in it for them so if you don't have a good answer to that, you're doomed. That's just how it is.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
An Article on Redheads
Thanks to my hubby. He showed me this one & I found it funny.
Not sure where I fit but no one had better steal my Halloween costume idea or I'll hurt that person. Especially if it's some fake redhead trying to do it; I'm far better at doing a costume w/a redhead, thanks. When your body dimensions actually match up to the description of Jessica Rabbit in Who Censored Roger Rabbit? (the book the movie "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" was based off of), you tend to be a bit protective about your look.
I'm not kidding, read the book to find out.
Not sure where I fit but no one had better steal my Halloween costume idea or I'll hurt that person. Especially if it's some fake redhead trying to do it; I'm far better at doing a costume w/a redhead, thanks. When your body dimensions actually match up to the description of Jessica Rabbit in Who Censored Roger Rabbit? (the book the movie "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" was based off of), you tend to be a bit protective about your look.
I'm not kidding, read the book to find out.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Workers Wising Up & Crazy Stories from Mississippi
This is a sight for sore eyes.
It's no wonder, when you're making the remaining employees do the work of 2-3 people you've laid off & didn't replace without any promotions or salary increases. So seems this flies in the face of the "50 hours is the new normal & we'll just have to suck it up" crowd, doesn't it?
That makes me happy. Finally, some people are wising up & saying "Enough is enough." If this happened on a mass scale & people started using common sense again, I'd be even happier.
And this just makes me laugh.
Sorry but if you believe this, then I've got a bridge to sell you in Alaska. I saw Prom Night in Mississippi & I have to say that while there may be some intelligent, decent people in the state of Mississippi it's not been my experience that intelligent, decent people exist in the average county school district anywhere in the country.
If anything, I hear more about school administrators who lack any kind of capacity for rational thought based on news headlines & stories from family, friends, acquaintances, etc. Stories about denying diplomas to people whose guests applauded at their graduation, teachers trying to ban words, principals exercising double standards & even in my own high school days, we had some teachers who conducted themselves so poorly that a hobo deserved more respect than they did.
When your own mother says that a particular teacher doesn't deserve respect from students, it's a sign. Granted, my high school was known as Thug High when I went there but if a teacher can't even bother to do some basic things to earn respect from his/her students, it's time for that teacher to find a new profession.
It's no wonder, when you're making the remaining employees do the work of 2-3 people you've laid off & didn't replace without any promotions or salary increases. So seems this flies in the face of the "50 hours is the new normal & we'll just have to suck it up" crowd, doesn't it?
That makes me happy. Finally, some people are wising up & saying "Enough is enough." If this happened on a mass scale & people started using common sense again, I'd be even happier.
And this just makes me laugh.
Sorry but if you believe this, then I've got a bridge to sell you in Alaska. I saw Prom Night in Mississippi & I have to say that while there may be some intelligent, decent people in the state of Mississippi it's not been my experience that intelligent, decent people exist in the average county school district anywhere in the country.
If anything, I hear more about school administrators who lack any kind of capacity for rational thought based on news headlines & stories from family, friends, acquaintances, etc. Stories about denying diplomas to people whose guests applauded at their graduation, teachers trying to ban words, principals exercising double standards & even in my own high school days, we had some teachers who conducted themselves so poorly that a hobo deserved more respect than they did.
When your own mother says that a particular teacher doesn't deserve respect from students, it's a sign. Granted, my high school was known as Thug High when I went there but if a teacher can't even bother to do some basic things to earn respect from his/her students, it's time for that teacher to find a new profession.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Spending Life as a Worrywart
My husband just unknowingly triggered a rant. He's watching this program about earthquakes & apparently NYC is the 4th most at risk city in the US for an earthquake.
Basically, I don't think you can live your life worrying about things you can't control. This includes terrorist attacks, weather conditions & unfortunate things that might happen b/c you took the subway, went to a club, went jogging in the park or did anything basically known as living your life. If a terrorist wants to attack something bad enough, it's going to happen. However, it doesn't mean you become a shut-in & let the government take all your rights away.
Let the government & the police worry about terrorism. You're more likely to get molested by a friend or relative or get in a car accident than be in a terrorist attack. Crime happens everywhere. Even little towns where no one thought crime would happen get their share of gruesome events. That doesn't mean don't be aware or do stupid crap like hang around bad neighborhoods but it does mean not to act like Wade Duck.
For those who haven't seen the Garfield cartoon of the '90s, it featured a series called U.S. Acres (Orson's Farm if you live outside the US or watch the Region 1 DVDs). Whatever title you want to call it, the main characters were a bunch of barnyard animals living on a farm. One of them was a duck named Wade who was terrified of everything. Wade always ran screaming from scary situations; he even had a theme song that started "Wade, you're afraid of every little thing..."
The doomsday clique annoys me to no end. If you think you're going to die soon, why bother doing anything? Why go to work? Why obey the law?
Under that rationale, we should all be murdering each other, raping children & strung out on drugs. After all, we'll all be dead soon, won't we? Why shouldn't the pedophiles & everyone else run wild?
I said this years ago & I still believe it now: I'd rather live a short, happy life than a long, miserable one. Seeing what living in misery does to someone has made me rage even harder against living that way myself.
Basically, I don't think you can live your life worrying about things you can't control. This includes terrorist attacks, weather conditions & unfortunate things that might happen b/c you took the subway, went to a club, went jogging in the park or did anything basically known as living your life. If a terrorist wants to attack something bad enough, it's going to happen. However, it doesn't mean you become a shut-in & let the government take all your rights away.
Let the government & the police worry about terrorism. You're more likely to get molested by a friend or relative or get in a car accident than be in a terrorist attack. Crime happens everywhere. Even little towns where no one thought crime would happen get their share of gruesome events. That doesn't mean don't be aware or do stupid crap like hang around bad neighborhoods but it does mean not to act like Wade Duck.
For those who haven't seen the Garfield cartoon of the '90s, it featured a series called U.S. Acres (Orson's Farm if you live outside the US or watch the Region 1 DVDs). Whatever title you want to call it, the main characters were a bunch of barnyard animals living on a farm. One of them was a duck named Wade who was terrified of everything. Wade always ran screaming from scary situations; he even had a theme song that started "Wade, you're afraid of every little thing..."
The doomsday clique annoys me to no end. If you think you're going to die soon, why bother doing anything? Why go to work? Why obey the law?
Under that rationale, we should all be murdering each other, raping children & strung out on drugs. After all, we'll all be dead soon, won't we? Why shouldn't the pedophiles & everyone else run wild?
I said this years ago & I still believe it now: I'd rather live a short, happy life than a long, miserable one. Seeing what living in misery does to someone has made me rage even harder against living that way myself.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Childfreedom--An Overview
Of the many stances I have written about in this blog, one of the things that I haven't really covered is the concept of being "childfree." First, I'll define a couple terms.
Childfree: you have never had a biological child & are perfectly happy with this
Fence-sitter: you haven't had a biological child & don't want any right now but might want them sometime in the future
Childless: you have never had a biological child but it's one of your life dreams to have one sometime before you die or hit menopause
Okay, now that we have that out of the way I'll explain some details on this to bring my views into context:
A) There are MANY misconceptions about people who don't want kids, especially women. Society believes that childfree women hate children, want them to suffer unspeakable harm (physical, emotional, take your pick), hate mothers & are right up there w/Satanists & the terrorists as people to be hated.
B) Society assumes that ALL women want to breed. In fact, so do many male law firm partners & perhaps many male leaders in other industries. I only really know about law firms, though.
C) If you are a woman without children, you will most likely have friends, family members, co-workers, acquaintances, somebody pestering you about pro-creating. Statements such as "You'll change your mind" and "It's different when they're your own" are known as a bingo. The verbal form of the word is known as "being bingoed" or "bingoing".
* I don't come up w/these terms, I'm just passing this along for your benefit.
Now, I'm fortunate in a number of ways:
A) My family is very much "live and let live." The relatives I speak to have known me for a very long time & know that I was always going to be a career woman. They also knew I'd be living in the Northeast & wasn't particularly maternal.
My sister, on the other hand, has been a natural with kids since she was a kid herself. She always wanted them & is one of the best mothers I know. Between me & my husband, we have 5 nieces & nephews so there's already enough grand kids for everyone to be happy.
B) The legal industry & the entertainment industry aren't the types of fields where motherhood is overly encouraged. In fact, you're going to have a much harder time as a mom working in either field depending on what you do for a living. I would go so far as to say there aren't as many family friendly workplaces in these fields as there ought to be & finding one is difficult.
You're just not going to find a lot of people trying to push parenthood on you in entertainment or in the average legal job. If anything, you'll find people trying to talk you out of parenthood.
C) I found a great surgeon who performed sterilization surgery on me so I don't have to worry about accidental pregnancies or not being able to get an abortion if religious fanatics get their way. You can't leave a tubal pregnancy or the woman will die when her tube bursts. I'm far happier having gotten that done.
So my basic view is "different strokes for different folks." There are some good parents out there & people who've wanted kids their whole lives. They love their kids unconditionally & would do anything for them. I know many parents & if they're doing right by their kids, I have no problem with the fact that they made the choice to have them. It's also not my place to shun anyone for having kids.
However when you start invalidating someone's intelligence b/c they don't have kids or try to sell me on having kids like you were a dealer selling me crack, then there's a problem. Just as I don't get to pry into your reproductive business, you don't get to pry into my reproductive business. Unless you will personally have said child, raise it, pay for it & I have no changes to my life whatsoever, you don't get a vote in the matter.
I've got nothing against responsible adults having kids raised in a loving household & teaching them to become productive members of society. But the fact is, my husband & I have no patience w/them, prefer our alone time & like having our lives be our own. We don't want that kind of responsibility & have no apologies for it.
Memo to Society: Some people have NO business having kids. Some people are or would make shitty parents & I really wish you could mandate parenting licenses. Take YOUR religious views to YOUR church & keep them off everyone else's bodies.
So society would likely brand me as childfree. That's not quite accurate, though b/c I do have some problems w/being lumped in that group.
A) Some childfree people hate their own child relatives such as nieces, nephews, cousins, etc. This is not b/c of those kids being bad but just b/c of the fact that they are kids. Some of these people actually try to get advice to avoid seeing infant & child relatives. This is a HUGE issue for me.
While I'm all thumbs when it comes to children under 5, that child hasn't done anything to piss you off yet. Plus, what about leaving your mark on that kid? Don't you think that kid might want to be like you & admire you if you're nice to him/her? Why make an enemy of a little kid who could turn out to be a really great person & someone who learns good things from you?
Shades of my childhood also come into this: I had an aunt say something shitty to me as a child that you should never say to a kid. She actually told me that she loved my male cousins more than she did me & my sister.
B) There are childfree people who hate all parents & all kids. I don't. I just dislike anyone who tries to butt into my personal life or who causes problems for society, the courts, social services, etc. by bringing a child into the world & not bothering to be a parent. This includes not having the money to take care of those children & having the taxpayers support them.
My nephew is a little sweetheart & if anyone dared to mess w/him or the one I'm going to meet in a few weeks, they'd better pray their parents or my mother got to them first b/c as we all know, I'm not someone you want to start trouble with.
We don't need any more breeders in this country. Don't get me started on the Octo-Breeding Bitch.
C) I don't hate all conversation about kids. Don't tell me about the color of the poop or marvel at minute details I won't really care about, but you don't have to pretend your child doesn't exist at all to speak to me. If you have other interests but make a comment or two about your child, that's fine. Just don't turn it into a 3 hour discussion on kid stuff; save that for other parents. Moderation, it's a beautiful thing.
I also avoid new parents unless they are family & wouldn't want to go to a child's birthday party unless that child is a family member or close enough to me that he/she might as well be family. I know people who didn't change after having kids but also know others who became ex-friends; childfree people really don't like those types. They wonder where their old friend went.
I think I just have problems aligning myself with most groups since no one ever gets my philosophy or thoughts on things 100% on target. Not even 95% or a number close enough for me to overlook other things. There's usually at least a few fundamental disagreements I have with particular groups someone might try to lump me in with.
Guess that's why I'm your classic lone wolf.
Childfree: you have never had a biological child & are perfectly happy with this
Fence-sitter: you haven't had a biological child & don't want any right now but might want them sometime in the future
Childless: you have never had a biological child but it's one of your life dreams to have one sometime before you die or hit menopause
Okay, now that we have that out of the way I'll explain some details on this to bring my views into context:
A) There are MANY misconceptions about people who don't want kids, especially women. Society believes that childfree women hate children, want them to suffer unspeakable harm (physical, emotional, take your pick), hate mothers & are right up there w/Satanists & the terrorists as people to be hated.
B) Society assumes that ALL women want to breed. In fact, so do many male law firm partners & perhaps many male leaders in other industries. I only really know about law firms, though.
C) If you are a woman without children, you will most likely have friends, family members, co-workers, acquaintances, somebody pestering you about pro-creating. Statements such as "You'll change your mind" and "It's different when they're your own" are known as a bingo. The verbal form of the word is known as "being bingoed" or "bingoing".
* I don't come up w/these terms, I'm just passing this along for your benefit.
Now, I'm fortunate in a number of ways:
A) My family is very much "live and let live." The relatives I speak to have known me for a very long time & know that I was always going to be a career woman. They also knew I'd be living in the Northeast & wasn't particularly maternal.
My sister, on the other hand, has been a natural with kids since she was a kid herself. She always wanted them & is one of the best mothers I know. Between me & my husband, we have 5 nieces & nephews so there's already enough grand kids for everyone to be happy.
B) The legal industry & the entertainment industry aren't the types of fields where motherhood is overly encouraged. In fact, you're going to have a much harder time as a mom working in either field depending on what you do for a living. I would go so far as to say there aren't as many family friendly workplaces in these fields as there ought to be & finding one is difficult.
You're just not going to find a lot of people trying to push parenthood on you in entertainment or in the average legal job. If anything, you'll find people trying to talk you out of parenthood.
C) I found a great surgeon who performed sterilization surgery on me so I don't have to worry about accidental pregnancies or not being able to get an abortion if religious fanatics get their way. You can't leave a tubal pregnancy or the woman will die when her tube bursts. I'm far happier having gotten that done.
So my basic view is "different strokes for different folks." There are some good parents out there & people who've wanted kids their whole lives. They love their kids unconditionally & would do anything for them. I know many parents & if they're doing right by their kids, I have no problem with the fact that they made the choice to have them. It's also not my place to shun anyone for having kids.
However when you start invalidating someone's intelligence b/c they don't have kids or try to sell me on having kids like you were a dealer selling me crack, then there's a problem. Just as I don't get to pry into your reproductive business, you don't get to pry into my reproductive business. Unless you will personally have said child, raise it, pay for it & I have no changes to my life whatsoever, you don't get a vote in the matter.
I've got nothing against responsible adults having kids raised in a loving household & teaching them to become productive members of society. But the fact is, my husband & I have no patience w/them, prefer our alone time & like having our lives be our own. We don't want that kind of responsibility & have no apologies for it.
Memo to Society: Some people have NO business having kids. Some people are or would make shitty parents & I really wish you could mandate parenting licenses. Take YOUR religious views to YOUR church & keep them off everyone else's bodies.
So society would likely brand me as childfree. That's not quite accurate, though b/c I do have some problems w/being lumped in that group.
A) Some childfree people hate their own child relatives such as nieces, nephews, cousins, etc. This is not b/c of those kids being bad but just b/c of the fact that they are kids. Some of these people actually try to get advice to avoid seeing infant & child relatives. This is a HUGE issue for me.
While I'm all thumbs when it comes to children under 5, that child hasn't done anything to piss you off yet. Plus, what about leaving your mark on that kid? Don't you think that kid might want to be like you & admire you if you're nice to him/her? Why make an enemy of a little kid who could turn out to be a really great person & someone who learns good things from you?
Shades of my childhood also come into this: I had an aunt say something shitty to me as a child that you should never say to a kid. She actually told me that she loved my male cousins more than she did me & my sister.
B) There are childfree people who hate all parents & all kids. I don't. I just dislike anyone who tries to butt into my personal life or who causes problems for society, the courts, social services, etc. by bringing a child into the world & not bothering to be a parent. This includes not having the money to take care of those children & having the taxpayers support them.
My nephew is a little sweetheart & if anyone dared to mess w/him or the one I'm going to meet in a few weeks, they'd better pray their parents or my mother got to them first b/c as we all know, I'm not someone you want to start trouble with.
We don't need any more breeders in this country. Don't get me started on the Octo-Breeding Bitch.
C) I don't hate all conversation about kids. Don't tell me about the color of the poop or marvel at minute details I won't really care about, but you don't have to pretend your child doesn't exist at all to speak to me. If you have other interests but make a comment or two about your child, that's fine. Just don't turn it into a 3 hour discussion on kid stuff; save that for other parents. Moderation, it's a beautiful thing.
I also avoid new parents unless they are family & wouldn't want to go to a child's birthday party unless that child is a family member or close enough to me that he/she might as well be family. I know people who didn't change after having kids but also know others who became ex-friends; childfree people really don't like those types. They wonder where their old friend went.
I think I just have problems aligning myself with most groups since no one ever gets my philosophy or thoughts on things 100% on target. Not even 95% or a number close enough for me to overlook other things. There's usually at least a few fundamental disagreements I have with particular groups someone might try to lump me in with.
Guess that's why I'm your classic lone wolf.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
General Musings, Part 1
From time to time, I have mini-rants that don't quite merit a full post or have more to say about something I've already ranted about (usually b/c some cruddy situation has reached a new low). Anyhow, I figure we could just call this "general musings." I'll likely do more of them in the future but I don't want this to be a fully autobiographical account of my life. This is a semi-public forum & I'm paranoid.
I saw this story yesterday & it really burned me.
Okay, a few things to consider:
1. While I agree that you definitely don't get honest answers from people in interviews & stuff, plenty of former co-workers & bosses aren't exactly pillars of honesty. I personally know people who'd be badmouthed by former bosses for not putting a dead-end job ahead of their education, not dating or having sex w/him/her or b/c the boss is a complete & utter bigot. You don't know someone's motivation for speaking + if you don't think these things happen in the real world, you're naive.
2. If I were ever asked to sign something saying I wouldn't sue for possible defamation, I would tell the person that we'll be ice skating in Hell before I sign it. I'd also go into the details I've mentioned above as to why you'd be a fool to sign it.
3. Some former bosses & co-workers are manipulative, jealous freaks who might hate the person in question + want to see that person fail miserably. How will you know they're liars unless you're getting a lie detector machine & hooking them up to it? Even then, lie detectors aren't 100% reliable or accurate. That's why the results aren't admissible in court.
Same thing for checking credit. If I'm not applying for a job where that's actually relevant, you're not getting it. I might even see about the possibility of initiating legal action against you.
I was reading comments to a story on that issue & someone posted this link. You can use it to see where prospective employers are digging. Someplace in there, there's a way to get that information for free but I can't find it.
Final rant. As I watch the GSN show Baggage, I notice many of the contestants (many of them being women, I might add) showing bad sides to their personality that make me dismiss them as hypocrites, selfish, gold-diggers, etc. Here's an example:
Female contestant. 3 male bachelors, one of whom has dropped out of high school. Her justification for making that an issue: "The economy is bad & education is valuable." Did someone not get the memo that thousands, if not millions of college grads are out of work? Did we not hear about the lawyer job market?
So when she's down to this bachelor & another guy who golfs 5 days a week, has an MBA (basically blue collar guy vs. white collar guy), she gets all whiny b/c the high school dropout has a sugar mama. This after she's told Jerry Springer (who strikes me as a cool guy) that she's looking for a rich guy to "take care of her."
Sorry, honey but you're a hypocrite! If you run around trying to get a sugar daddy & won't bother advancing yourself in life, you have no cause to get pissy at a man for doing the exact SAME thing w/a woman. For me, if you don't bother to take care of YOURSELF & have to rely on some rich guy to "take care of you," you need to just start working in a strip club or become a hooker b/c that's what you are. Go sleep w/one of our nation's politicians if you want to be rich & famous w/out trying.
I'll give Anna Nicole Smith this: at least she made no bones about being in it for the money when she was stripping in her early days. For all the badmouthing you want to do about her marrying an old man for money, at least she was more honest about that than your average woman. Evolution or not, we're living in modern times now.
I don't base my romantic views & certainly never picked boyfriends based how much money they have. While I think more of my friends will be those w/money as time goes on, it's certainly not going to convince me to leave my husband.
Another contestant on this show who pissed me off was this one woman who trashed the dog of one of the bachelor's, implying homosexuality on him for owning a small dog.
Let me tell you something, bitch. A dis on my pet or anyone I care about is a dis on me so you'd better be ready to throw down if you say certain things to me (especially if you're a stranger). My husband & I immediately branded this woman as a bitch for that.
If I was the casting director, I think I'd be trying to find better contestants. Some Everyman/Everywoman types that people can like & root for instead of skanky types that you hope end up getting a bad match b/c they deserve it. Not every attractive person out there is an asshole. Nor is every ugly person a saint. Generalizations are an ugly thing.
Now I'm sliding into another rant I just realized I had in me but would rather wait for another post to probe.
I saw this story yesterday & it really burned me.
Okay, a few things to consider:
1. While I agree that you definitely don't get honest answers from people in interviews & stuff, plenty of former co-workers & bosses aren't exactly pillars of honesty. I personally know people who'd be badmouthed by former bosses for not putting a dead-end job ahead of their education, not dating or having sex w/him/her or b/c the boss is a complete & utter bigot. You don't know someone's motivation for speaking + if you don't think these things happen in the real world, you're naive.
2. If I were ever asked to sign something saying I wouldn't sue for possible defamation, I would tell the person that we'll be ice skating in Hell before I sign it. I'd also go into the details I've mentioned above as to why you'd be a fool to sign it.
3. Some former bosses & co-workers are manipulative, jealous freaks who might hate the person in question + want to see that person fail miserably. How will you know they're liars unless you're getting a lie detector machine & hooking them up to it? Even then, lie detectors aren't 100% reliable or accurate. That's why the results aren't admissible in court.
Same thing for checking credit. If I'm not applying for a job where that's actually relevant, you're not getting it. I might even see about the possibility of initiating legal action against you.
I was reading comments to a story on that issue & someone posted this link. You can use it to see where prospective employers are digging. Someplace in there, there's a way to get that information for free but I can't find it.
Final rant. As I watch the GSN show Baggage, I notice many of the contestants (many of them being women, I might add) showing bad sides to their personality that make me dismiss them as hypocrites, selfish, gold-diggers, etc. Here's an example:
Female contestant. 3 male bachelors, one of whom has dropped out of high school. Her justification for making that an issue: "The economy is bad & education is valuable." Did someone not get the memo that thousands, if not millions of college grads are out of work? Did we not hear about the lawyer job market?
So when she's down to this bachelor & another guy who golfs 5 days a week, has an MBA (basically blue collar guy vs. white collar guy), she gets all whiny b/c the high school dropout has a sugar mama. This after she's told Jerry Springer (who strikes me as a cool guy) that she's looking for a rich guy to "take care of her."
Sorry, honey but you're a hypocrite! If you run around trying to get a sugar daddy & won't bother advancing yourself in life, you have no cause to get pissy at a man for doing the exact SAME thing w/a woman. For me, if you don't bother to take care of YOURSELF & have to rely on some rich guy to "take care of you," you need to just start working in a strip club or become a hooker b/c that's what you are. Go sleep w/one of our nation's politicians if you want to be rich & famous w/out trying.
I'll give Anna Nicole Smith this: at least she made no bones about being in it for the money when she was stripping in her early days. For all the badmouthing you want to do about her marrying an old man for money, at least she was more honest about that than your average woman. Evolution or not, we're living in modern times now.
I don't base my romantic views & certainly never picked boyfriends based how much money they have. While I think more of my friends will be those w/money as time goes on, it's certainly not going to convince me to leave my husband.
Another contestant on this show who pissed me off was this one woman who trashed the dog of one of the bachelor's, implying homosexuality on him for owning a small dog.
Let me tell you something, bitch. A dis on my pet or anyone I care about is a dis on me so you'd better be ready to throw down if you say certain things to me (especially if you're a stranger). My husband & I immediately branded this woman as a bitch for that.
If I was the casting director, I think I'd be trying to find better contestants. Some Everyman/Everywoman types that people can like & root for instead of skanky types that you hope end up getting a bad match b/c they deserve it. Not every attractive person out there is an asshole. Nor is every ugly person a saint. Generalizations are an ugly thing.
Now I'm sliding into another rant I just realized I had in me but would rather wait for another post to probe.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
This is Why The General Public Thinks Copyright Laws Need to be Reformed
My husband occasionally shows me stories from this website. Some of them are very funny.
Here is a basic idea of why the general public hates the RIAA & the old people in federal government need to reform copyright laws.
Yes, I'm still depressed & concerned. I have learned that you never put all your hopes in one prospect or assume that one particular prospect will turn out well.
Something else that would make me laugh (especially true in the course of helping my husband find work in the career he went to school for) is someone who puts in a high minimum years of experience requirement for a job adding the statement "only old dinosaurs need apply."
Crazy minimum year requirements make no sense to me. Here's why:
A) I have 7 years of retail experience but there's no way on God's green earth I could do that job today. Even if I weren't a lawyer, I'd never be able to be that civil to the general public.
B) These requirements are usually couched w/a pathetic salary far below market value. Why should I consider a job requiring 2 years experience when you're paying me $10 an hour & you're not in an industry known for this type of pay rate?
C) They ignore teach-ability aspects. Some of us are very fucking smart!! Some of us aren't that slow & can get with the program in a very short time. I myself have a talent for picking up new things pretty quickly. In some cases, I've had to teach myself out of sheer necessity.
D) Burnout, idiots!! People w/many years of experience at something are stuck in the same old way of doing things & plenty are burned out. Burned out people don't give a shit & aren't in the mood to be innovative. They simply do not care & might put in 75% effort if you're lucky. Unless you're smart, you're not going to catch this unless you look beyond the veneer of a job interview or a resume. Look for the subtleties & ask the right questions.
E) Finally, you can learn something from the younger generation. Not everyone is a spoiled, entitled princess. Just hire the people who don't fit that mold & treat them w/some basic human dignity. They could show you new technologies & help create some sane workplace policies on such things.
Oh, and I say these things as a lawyer who was very mature for her age & pretty much is an old soul in a young body.
I've seen things like this for jobs as low skilled as housekeeping or janitorial work. Give me a damn break, all right? I'd like to grab some people's shoulders, shake them hard & ask what mental defects these people have.
If you give me that opportunity, I'll do something nice for you.
Here is a basic idea of why the general public hates the RIAA & the old people in federal government need to reform copyright laws.
Yes, I'm still depressed & concerned. I have learned that you never put all your hopes in one prospect or assume that one particular prospect will turn out well.
Something else that would make me laugh (especially true in the course of helping my husband find work in the career he went to school for) is someone who puts in a high minimum years of experience requirement for a job adding the statement "only old dinosaurs need apply."
Crazy minimum year requirements make no sense to me. Here's why:
A) I have 7 years of retail experience but there's no way on God's green earth I could do that job today. Even if I weren't a lawyer, I'd never be able to be that civil to the general public.
B) These requirements are usually couched w/a pathetic salary far below market value. Why should I consider a job requiring 2 years experience when you're paying me $10 an hour & you're not in an industry known for this type of pay rate?
C) They ignore teach-ability aspects. Some of us are very fucking smart!! Some of us aren't that slow & can get with the program in a very short time. I myself have a talent for picking up new things pretty quickly. In some cases, I've had to teach myself out of sheer necessity.
D) Burnout, idiots!! People w/many years of experience at something are stuck in the same old way of doing things & plenty are burned out. Burned out people don't give a shit & aren't in the mood to be innovative. They simply do not care & might put in 75% effort if you're lucky. Unless you're smart, you're not going to catch this unless you look beyond the veneer of a job interview or a resume. Look for the subtleties & ask the right questions.
E) Finally, you can learn something from the younger generation. Not everyone is a spoiled, entitled princess. Just hire the people who don't fit that mold & treat them w/some basic human dignity. They could show you new technologies & help create some sane workplace policies on such things.
Oh, and I say these things as a lawyer who was very mature for her age & pretty much is an old soul in a young body.
I've seen things like this for jobs as low skilled as housekeeping or janitorial work. Give me a damn break, all right? I'd like to grab some people's shoulders, shake them hard & ask what mental defects these people have.
If you give me that opportunity, I'll do something nice for you.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
When You No Longer Care About Impressing People
So today, I get a phone call from someone seeking legal representation. Keep in mind that I don't actually solicit clients at this point. The biggest reason is because I've been burned by them not paying me after I put in significant time, work & effort for them. Not a single client I've had has ever paid me for my services (as a result, the number is very small).
Not getting paid for my time & effort pisses me off. I'm sure you'd also be pissed off. The best analogy is working for a large company that decides to arbitrarily not give you a paycheck without any warning or explanation.
Apparently, someone I likely met at a networking event passed my name along. Who knew? I largely go to events to meet more entertainment industry people but if I become the go-to legal counsel, okay. That's not something a lawyer should complain about. If someone asks for entertainment work & I don't have the time or experience to help that person, I will happily direct them to a lawyer I know who might have the expertise or time to help.
As long as you don't ask me to represent you in litigation (too time-consuming), ask me to violate the state ethics rules & you don't mind that I don't have an office or have to go to bar association libraries to do legal research, it's cool. You'd also better be paying me & not trying to get freebies. Would YOU want to be giving freebies to strangers? I didn't think so.
If you can do those basic things, then we're all set. I don't pretend to be the expert on everything (I'll be the first to tell any prospective client that fact) but I am a stickler about being treated w/basic respect. That's another thing I don't take kindly to & probably a big reason why I'm not really suited for work in big business. I just realized I'm operating like a drug dealer getting clients: dealers won't sell to or work w/anyone who can't be vouched for by someone the dealer already knows. I wouldn't represent someone who can't be vouched for due to my horribly bad experiences. The upside is I've developed business relationships w/some collection agencies & know more about the Part 137 Fee Dispute resolution program.
My husband thinks that I haven't been able to find a day job for myself b/c people are too intimidated by me. Yeah, I have done a lot of things & a legal colleague said I pretty much had to work on my own to find jobs since my background is so unusual. Guess that theory is possible.
I think I've also become like Peter Gibbons in Office Space after he went to the hypnotist (again, see this movie if you haven't already). At least I have that stance with new opportunities since the people I already deal with do appreciate me.
Seems like so many people I know have become like that lately. The plus side to it is I think it definitely prompts one to be more honest & direct with people than the average applicant. Maybe I've gotten some results b/c the honesty throws them off. Maybe my personality is helping me. I don't completely know but since I'm happier doing that, I'll keep it up.
Either way I'd rather work someplace where my personality & go-getting is seen as an asset. Don't know why I'm able to have some of the conversations I have w/people but maybe I did inherit some of that sociability that my sister & father have mastered. No one's a stranger to them; you'll hear some interesting conversations & insights from the most random people if you hang around them. Travel w/either of them is particularly interesting.
One example: during a massive blizzard in December 2003, my father & I drove up from NC to CT for me to see the law school campus I was considering attending. Thank God he was driving for this trip b/c we had more than one close call (he's also a former truck driver who's driven in many bad weather situations).
The day after we arrived & had seen the campus, we stopped into a Friendly's in the midst of all of it before hitting the road to go home. There weren't a lot of people there since there was a blizzard, but he ended up starting conversations w/the waitress & some other patrons. We were talking to this couple that I believe were heading to Florida or visiting from there. I told them about my seeing the law school campus & we were all just chatting. He also spoke to our waitress & had very kind words for her. Face it, if you came to work as a server in the middle of a blizzard you deserve some generous tips.
Anyhow, by the time we were going to pay the couple from Florida had left & the waitress told us they'd paid for our meal. It certainly wasn't expected or asked for; it was just one of those random acts of kindness.
I try to perform those from time to time. I may be assertive but that doesn't mean I don't have a caring side.
Not getting paid for my time & effort pisses me off. I'm sure you'd also be pissed off. The best analogy is working for a large company that decides to arbitrarily not give you a paycheck without any warning or explanation.
Apparently, someone I likely met at a networking event passed my name along. Who knew? I largely go to events to meet more entertainment industry people but if I become the go-to legal counsel, okay. That's not something a lawyer should complain about. If someone asks for entertainment work & I don't have the time or experience to help that person, I will happily direct them to a lawyer I know who might have the expertise or time to help.
As long as you don't ask me to represent you in litigation (too time-consuming), ask me to violate the state ethics rules & you don't mind that I don't have an office or have to go to bar association libraries to do legal research, it's cool. You'd also better be paying me & not trying to get freebies. Would YOU want to be giving freebies to strangers? I didn't think so.
If you can do those basic things, then we're all set. I don't pretend to be the expert on everything (I'll be the first to tell any prospective client that fact) but I am a stickler about being treated w/basic respect. That's another thing I don't take kindly to & probably a big reason why I'm not really suited for work in big business. I just realized I'm operating like a drug dealer getting clients: dealers won't sell to or work w/anyone who can't be vouched for by someone the dealer already knows. I wouldn't represent someone who can't be vouched for due to my horribly bad experiences. The upside is I've developed business relationships w/some collection agencies & know more about the Part 137 Fee Dispute resolution program.
My husband thinks that I haven't been able to find a day job for myself b/c people are too intimidated by me. Yeah, I have done a lot of things & a legal colleague said I pretty much had to work on my own to find jobs since my background is so unusual. Guess that theory is possible.
I think I've also become like Peter Gibbons in Office Space after he went to the hypnotist (again, see this movie if you haven't already). At least I have that stance with new opportunities since the people I already deal with do appreciate me.
Seems like so many people I know have become like that lately. The plus side to it is I think it definitely prompts one to be more honest & direct with people than the average applicant. Maybe I've gotten some results b/c the honesty throws them off. Maybe my personality is helping me. I don't completely know but since I'm happier doing that, I'll keep it up.
Either way I'd rather work someplace where my personality & go-getting is seen as an asset. Don't know why I'm able to have some of the conversations I have w/people but maybe I did inherit some of that sociability that my sister & father have mastered. No one's a stranger to them; you'll hear some interesting conversations & insights from the most random people if you hang around them. Travel w/either of them is particularly interesting.
One example: during a massive blizzard in December 2003, my father & I drove up from NC to CT for me to see the law school campus I was considering attending. Thank God he was driving for this trip b/c we had more than one close call (he's also a former truck driver who's driven in many bad weather situations).
The day after we arrived & had seen the campus, we stopped into a Friendly's in the midst of all of it before hitting the road to go home. There weren't a lot of people there since there was a blizzard, but he ended up starting conversations w/the waitress & some other patrons. We were talking to this couple that I believe were heading to Florida or visiting from there. I told them about my seeing the law school campus & we were all just chatting. He also spoke to our waitress & had very kind words for her. Face it, if you came to work as a server in the middle of a blizzard you deserve some generous tips.
Anyhow, by the time we were going to pay the couple from Florida had left & the waitress told us they'd paid for our meal. It certainly wasn't expected or asked for; it was just one of those random acts of kindness.
I try to perform those from time to time. I may be assertive but that doesn't mean I don't have a caring side.
Monday, May 17, 2010
More Links to Stories & Thoughts
Realized I have another mass load of links to stories that I want to comment on but don't want to have sitting forever. Plus, one just goes back to a rant I've done a few times here. So, here goes:
1. Reality TV Star Gets Jail Time
My thoughts: stop doing stories on these stupid reality TV idiots. This moron doesn't deserve media coverage b/c it just encourages more people to do stuff like this. Oh, yes & a newsflash.
Being on a reality show does not make you an actor or a star.
It makes you a common idiot. If you acknowledge this, then I can have a tiny bit of respect for you. This is common knowledge among industry professionals. You will not be known in a good way if you start out on a reality show, trust me.
2. Lawsuit Filed Over Arizona's Ethnic Studies Law
I don't really get this. I think there are free speech issues on this & why in God's name would you exclude people from one of these classes b/c they're not of that particular race/culture? If you're excluding people who want to actively participate & learn something new, you have no right to cry racism or complain about intolerance b/c that's just what you're practicing. I have also never heard of such a class being closed to people who weren't members of that race/culture.
3. 9 Ways to Ensure You Don't Get the Job
I just know there are worst things to do. Say scratching your back with a fork, performing any type of bodily function during the interview, talking about the aliens coming to get you, talking to yourself like some homeless person on the subway or doing your best imitation of Filburt Turtle from Rocko's Modern Life.
Now, I love the show Rocko's Modern Life but I think references from that show would fly over the heads of most interviewers. If I ever meet a hiring person who loves that show & understands references from it, I'll die from shock. I'd also have to work for that person b/c that would be evidence of a personality.
4. Meet the Unemployable Man
I'm the first person in favor of reforming the education system. However, I don't notice the author discussing the sexism factor in more women being employed. If this keeps up, it will be interesting to see how women handle dating. I wonder if more will become single or will they just date other women if they want a mate w/money?
5. I just saw this one today, after returning from my day trip to my old stomping grounds in CT.
This goes back to a rant I've had for ages & ages. Personal time = Personal time. Work time = Work time. The two do not meet unless false or confidential information about the business is being spread or personal activities are done on company time. Read the comments to this story. A lot of people seem to assume this pizza place in Charlotte of all places had a written policy on this type of thing. I'll bet they didn't. Not to mention that we're treading on some dangerous ground here. If there needs to be a court ruling on anything, I think this issue is screaming for one. Namely, do employment at will clauses extend to what people do in their private time?
If they do, why doesn't everyone just tell these employers where to shove it & quit working en masse? I bet you could shut down some businesses if all the workers of the world or in the US did this in protest. Who will you enslave if no one's willing to work in the world of Big Brother? That kind of movement would grind the economy to a halt. I see far too many complacent people who are bound to "rules"; they'd have been good little Nazis back in the day.
That's it for now. Hope those rants made you happy.
1. Reality TV Star Gets Jail Time
My thoughts: stop doing stories on these stupid reality TV idiots. This moron doesn't deserve media coverage b/c it just encourages more people to do stuff like this. Oh, yes & a newsflash.
Being on a reality show does not make you an actor or a star.
It makes you a common idiot. If you acknowledge this, then I can have a tiny bit of respect for you. This is common knowledge among industry professionals. You will not be known in a good way if you start out on a reality show, trust me.
2. Lawsuit Filed Over Arizona's Ethnic Studies Law
I don't really get this. I think there are free speech issues on this & why in God's name would you exclude people from one of these classes b/c they're not of that particular race/culture? If you're excluding people who want to actively participate & learn something new, you have no right to cry racism or complain about intolerance b/c that's just what you're practicing. I have also never heard of such a class being closed to people who weren't members of that race/culture.
3. 9 Ways to Ensure You Don't Get the Job
I just know there are worst things to do. Say scratching your back with a fork, performing any type of bodily function during the interview, talking about the aliens coming to get you, talking to yourself like some homeless person on the subway or doing your best imitation of Filburt Turtle from Rocko's Modern Life.
Now, I love the show Rocko's Modern Life but I think references from that show would fly over the heads of most interviewers. If I ever meet a hiring person who loves that show & understands references from it, I'll die from shock. I'd also have to work for that person b/c that would be evidence of a personality.
4. Meet the Unemployable Man
I'm the first person in favor of reforming the education system. However, I don't notice the author discussing the sexism factor in more women being employed. If this keeps up, it will be interesting to see how women handle dating. I wonder if more will become single or will they just date other women if they want a mate w/money?
5. I just saw this one today, after returning from my day trip to my old stomping grounds in CT.
This goes back to a rant I've had for ages & ages. Personal time = Personal time. Work time = Work time. The two do not meet unless false or confidential information about the business is being spread or personal activities are done on company time. Read the comments to this story. A lot of people seem to assume this pizza place in Charlotte of all places had a written policy on this type of thing. I'll bet they didn't. Not to mention that we're treading on some dangerous ground here. If there needs to be a court ruling on anything, I think this issue is screaming for one. Namely, do employment at will clauses extend to what people do in their private time?
If they do, why doesn't everyone just tell these employers where to shove it & quit working en masse? I bet you could shut down some businesses if all the workers of the world or in the US did this in protest. Who will you enslave if no one's willing to work in the world of Big Brother? That kind of movement would grind the economy to a halt. I see far too many complacent people who are bound to "rules"; they'd have been good little Nazis back in the day.
That's it for now. Hope those rants made you happy.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
A New Step in My Singing Efforts
Now those of you who have heard me sing are probably wondering why on Earth I hadn't done this yet. You usually have to have sound samples for people considering singers & I didn't think I had the capability to do it b/c as far as I know, we didn't have a microphone or a way to record the sound.
One advantage to not having steady paying work is you have time on your hands. I chose to take time to figure this out. After doing the YouTube video, I figured I could see about recording singing samples. An ad from a studio seeking paid session singers was my kick in the pants to start doing it.
So since they asked for unpolished, simple singing & I'm too poor to get fancy stuff, I decided to create sound files using just that. I created a total of 4 that reflect different styles and ranges to reflect my talents + what I'm capable of doing. If you've seen me sing a lot, you'll notice a few things that I do:
1. I don't pick the most popular songs. I try to pick something lesser known or less popular so I won't have a bunch of people singing along.
2. I like to pick an act that is different from everyone else's or what the audience expects. When I was in high school & that crowd was more interested in Rap/R&B, I picked a song by The Cranberries. After that, I kept getting asked to sing in random places such as the local Pizza Hut, had people singing my own song at me & was forever known as "that girl from the talent show."
That day is coming for City Bar performances. I think I finally have a good gauge of that audience & some free time to do something unexpected.
3. I rarely do the same song multiple times. I'll only do this if a friend asks me. That's because I like to sing different things & usually pick songs based on my mood, whether I've ever seen it in a karaoke place before, what other people have been singing & how confident I am in being able to sing it properly.
4. There are songs I will not sing unless it's a special occasion or someone asked me nicely & is having some special event. For instance, I don't really like the Whitney Houston song I Will Always Love You, but I sang it for a sorority sister of mine the night her then fiance proposed to her at our karaoke place. If I do something like that, be flattered.
Singing is one of those things I've done since I was very young. I'm always sort of shocked when people tell me I have the talent for it & when industry professionals tell you this, it's even more of a shock. But I bounce back & forth between wanting to be a performer and not wanting to deal w/all the BS of celebrity. I'd need a career on my terms & I know going on American Idol would never do for someone like me.
I feel that way about acting as well; I'm not going to take certain parts but I like being on stage & bringing a script or a song to life. Honestly, I think my life is that conflict: wanting to be known for something vs. maintaining your private life, your relationships & being respected. I also don't want to feel like I'm throwing away my acting or singing talents; thus far, it seems like it might be possible for me to come up with a happy medium. See why I have some respect for celebrities?
One advantage to not having steady paying work is you have time on your hands. I chose to take time to figure this out. After doing the YouTube video, I figured I could see about recording singing samples. An ad from a studio seeking paid session singers was my kick in the pants to start doing it.
So since they asked for unpolished, simple singing & I'm too poor to get fancy stuff, I decided to create sound files using just that. I created a total of 4 that reflect different styles and ranges to reflect my talents + what I'm capable of doing. If you've seen me sing a lot, you'll notice a few things that I do:
1. I don't pick the most popular songs. I try to pick something lesser known or less popular so I won't have a bunch of people singing along.
2. I like to pick an act that is different from everyone else's or what the audience expects. When I was in high school & that crowd was more interested in Rap/R&B, I picked a song by The Cranberries. After that, I kept getting asked to sing in random places such as the local Pizza Hut, had people singing my own song at me & was forever known as "that girl from the talent show."
That day is coming for City Bar performances. I think I finally have a good gauge of that audience & some free time to do something unexpected.
3. I rarely do the same song multiple times. I'll only do this if a friend asks me. That's because I like to sing different things & usually pick songs based on my mood, whether I've ever seen it in a karaoke place before, what other people have been singing & how confident I am in being able to sing it properly.
4. There are songs I will not sing unless it's a special occasion or someone asked me nicely & is having some special event. For instance, I don't really like the Whitney Houston song I Will Always Love You, but I sang it for a sorority sister of mine the night her then fiance proposed to her at our karaoke place. If I do something like that, be flattered.
Singing is one of those things I've done since I was very young. I'm always sort of shocked when people tell me I have the talent for it & when industry professionals tell you this, it's even more of a shock. But I bounce back & forth between wanting to be a performer and not wanting to deal w/all the BS of celebrity. I'd need a career on my terms & I know going on American Idol would never do for someone like me.
I feel that way about acting as well; I'm not going to take certain parts but I like being on stage & bringing a script or a song to life. Honestly, I think my life is that conflict: wanting to be known for something vs. maintaining your private life, your relationships & being respected. I also don't want to feel like I'm throwing away my acting or singing talents; thus far, it seems like it might be possible for me to come up with a happy medium. See why I have some respect for celebrities?
Labels:
singing clips,
song selection,
success on my terms
Saturday, May 15, 2010
My Adventures at the WildPig Comic Con
Today, my husband & I went to Springfield, NJ to attend the WildPig Comic Con. Now my husband's the true comic book reader; me, not so much. If you saw our back room, you'd know why. Unlike most readers of comics, my husband's not your typical "fanboy" stereotype. He actually hates people who act like that & says they have serious problems.
But I attended b/c the creator of a webcomic my husband told me to read when we first started dating & that we've been reading together ever since was one of the guests. It's called "Something Positive" & if you think this blog is funny + I haven't offended your delicate sensibilities, you should definitely read that strip; there's a lot of humor + things to relate to there. I'm not going to tell you; read it for yourself.
But if you're easily offended, why would you read this blog? It should be painfully obvious that I don't give a damn about not crushing the sensibilities of the special snowflakes.
Here's the link.
Start reading from the 1st strip.
Now I specifically had reason to meet the creator since I started the very first MySpace group for Something Positive (to counteract the billions of "I Love The OC" and other groups for things I hated that polluted MySpace at the time) & he linked my group to his site (making my group official). I take my bad ass enforcement behavior everywhere & that group is no exception. Despite some whining from total strangers, I've stuck to my guns & kicked out plenty of jack-offs. Heck, I'm probably more hard core in personal stuff than I am in a job & that's saying something.
I also don't take kindly to harassing people or stalking them b/c of their creative works. I had exes try to stalk me & I'm not even famous. Not to mention that I know people w/stories & really am a "fan" of no one since I'll never go through someone's garbage, harass someone or engage in creepy fan behavior. I certainly won't encourage other people to do it since I'd hate having it done to me.
Anyhow, the creator of this strip totally rocks. He praised me for not putting up w/anyone's dickery & laying down the law when needed. My husband was also happy & the conversation really made my day. I mentioned my film company's upcoming NYC premiere of "Uptown" (thank my husband for telling me to mention this) & he said he'd mention it on his site.
The other reason we attended was because the WildPig was a store in NJ that promoted itself as being the store for people who don't like the typical dickery of the fanboys or certain comic store owners. My husband said he didn't see very many freaks there & I didn't have to feel self-conscious since there weren't creepy guys starting at me or a situation where I was the only woman in the room except for those in skanky outfits (no "booth babes"). I'll elaborate on the "fanboy" phenomenon in a future post, perhaps have my hubby contribute since he can spot them a mile away.
I just wish the Mexican restaurant at the hotel had a lunch menu. We thought the menu looked good, we have yet to find a truly great Mexican restaurant in our area that didn't give us shitty service & the prices were fair. They weren't open until 5 & if we'd waited, we would have never found parking in our neighborhood. Damn alternate side parking nonsense! I like living near a subway station but I could do w/out that headache.
Speaking of job searching, I decided that when I communicate w/people for jobs or ask about whether they'll consider my resume I may as well be blunt. Just be honest about the situation & see what happens. Apparently one interviewer contacted me b/c he liked that I said I was applying for that job so I wouldn't have to become a stripper. He found it humorous. I figure there are a few truths I can consider:
A) I've been in the interviewers' shoes. I have seen resumes/cover letters from prospective applicants & had to determine who to call in for interviews. Why not admit you don't want to contribute to more paperwork for them?
B) I know what goes on in law firms & the typical culture. Why not come right out & say you're not interested in all that nonsense? I did meet some attorneys with one firm in Manhattan that said they did not operate in that fashion; maybe there are more like that. I also see no reason why I shouldn't just admit that such things are why I'd rather take a paralegal position than an attorney position. I've just saved you some time & you can train someone else to eat shit.
C) I have been placed in positions of responsibility. Why shouldn't I just say that I'm not interested in being treated like a 6 year old?
D) If humor worked for one person, why couldn't it work for others? I'd rather not work someplace that is ridiculously stuffy & tries to stifle all fun, creativity & humor whenever possible.
I figure being direct will save me & everyone else time, heartache & unnecessary hassle. I don't want to work in certain environments and if I'd be happier working at Wal-Mart than in some of these places, I think I owe it to myself to find out ahead of time if I should even have an emotional investment in some potential employer.
I guess because of my experiences & knowing how certain industries operate, I feel that I deserve better and should seek out places that will see my personality + best traits as an asset, not a liability. Sort of the "don't try to be a turtle when you're a rabbit" school of thought. I can just be a stripper if I want to be miserable or face degradation.
Still depressed & going to be panicky but we'll see how things go.
But I attended b/c the creator of a webcomic my husband told me to read when we first started dating & that we've been reading together ever since was one of the guests. It's called "Something Positive" & if you think this blog is funny + I haven't offended your delicate sensibilities, you should definitely read that strip; there's a lot of humor + things to relate to there. I'm not going to tell you; read it for yourself.
But if you're easily offended, why would you read this blog? It should be painfully obvious that I don't give a damn about not crushing the sensibilities of the special snowflakes.
Here's the link.
Start reading from the 1st strip.
Now I specifically had reason to meet the creator since I started the very first MySpace group for Something Positive (to counteract the billions of "I Love The OC" and other groups for things I hated that polluted MySpace at the time) & he linked my group to his site (making my group official). I take my bad ass enforcement behavior everywhere & that group is no exception. Despite some whining from total strangers, I've stuck to my guns & kicked out plenty of jack-offs. Heck, I'm probably more hard core in personal stuff than I am in a job & that's saying something.
I also don't take kindly to harassing people or stalking them b/c of their creative works. I had exes try to stalk me & I'm not even famous. Not to mention that I know people w/stories & really am a "fan" of no one since I'll never go through someone's garbage, harass someone or engage in creepy fan behavior. I certainly won't encourage other people to do it since I'd hate having it done to me.
Anyhow, the creator of this strip totally rocks. He praised me for not putting up w/anyone's dickery & laying down the law when needed. My husband was also happy & the conversation really made my day. I mentioned my film company's upcoming NYC premiere of "Uptown" (thank my husband for telling me to mention this) & he said he'd mention it on his site.
The other reason we attended was because the WildPig was a store in NJ that promoted itself as being the store for people who don't like the typical dickery of the fanboys or certain comic store owners. My husband said he didn't see very many freaks there & I didn't have to feel self-conscious since there weren't creepy guys starting at me or a situation where I was the only woman in the room except for those in skanky outfits (no "booth babes"). I'll elaborate on the "fanboy" phenomenon in a future post, perhaps have my hubby contribute since he can spot them a mile away.
I just wish the Mexican restaurant at the hotel had a lunch menu. We thought the menu looked good, we have yet to find a truly great Mexican restaurant in our area that didn't give us shitty service & the prices were fair. They weren't open until 5 & if we'd waited, we would have never found parking in our neighborhood. Damn alternate side parking nonsense! I like living near a subway station but I could do w/out that headache.
Speaking of job searching, I decided that when I communicate w/people for jobs or ask about whether they'll consider my resume I may as well be blunt. Just be honest about the situation & see what happens. Apparently one interviewer contacted me b/c he liked that I said I was applying for that job so I wouldn't have to become a stripper. He found it humorous. I figure there are a few truths I can consider:
A) I've been in the interviewers' shoes. I have seen resumes/cover letters from prospective applicants & had to determine who to call in for interviews. Why not admit you don't want to contribute to more paperwork for them?
B) I know what goes on in law firms & the typical culture. Why not come right out & say you're not interested in all that nonsense? I did meet some attorneys with one firm in Manhattan that said they did not operate in that fashion; maybe there are more like that. I also see no reason why I shouldn't just admit that such things are why I'd rather take a paralegal position than an attorney position. I've just saved you some time & you can train someone else to eat shit.
C) I have been placed in positions of responsibility. Why shouldn't I just say that I'm not interested in being treated like a 6 year old?
D) If humor worked for one person, why couldn't it work for others? I'd rather not work someplace that is ridiculously stuffy & tries to stifle all fun, creativity & humor whenever possible.
I figure being direct will save me & everyone else time, heartache & unnecessary hassle. I don't want to work in certain environments and if I'd be happier working at Wal-Mart than in some of these places, I think I owe it to myself to find out ahead of time if I should even have an emotional investment in some potential employer.
I guess because of my experiences & knowing how certain industries operate, I feel that I deserve better and should seek out places that will see my personality + best traits as an asset, not a liability. Sort of the "don't try to be a turtle when you're a rabbit" school of thought. I can just be a stripper if I want to be miserable or face degradation.
Still depressed & going to be panicky but we'll see how things go.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Depression is Going to Be a Theme Here...
at least until I'm certain that I don't have to choose between going on a bloody rampage & living in some state that makes Russia look more favorable. A sorority sister of mine went to Russia one summer w/her fiance & after that, the engagement was off. I'd had a bad summer but hers consisted of the guy's family taking her possessions & being the victim of false accusations to law enforcement. I told her "You win."
Sometimes you have to wonder whether it's worse to be in your own shoes or somebody else's. People are getting laid off from this library who've been working there for 10 years & have very limited education. My husband has one co-worker who is from Texas & will have to go back if she can't find work in NYC.
So what conundrum is worse? Is it worse to have so much education people deem you overqualified or tons of experience doing something but no education? A few observations here:
1. My husband is embracing this news with grace & realism. He's happy to get away from the politics, the "will I or won't I have a job" anxiety & the inability to ever get meaningful holiday time off. We might FINALLY get to go to NC this year as a married couple. I don't think we've actually done that. He's never gotten to spend Christmas or Thanksgiving w/my family because of the seniority scheme at his job & the old dinosaurs refusing to acknowledge that other people have families out of town they'd like to see sometime. He was stagnating & bored so he thinks this might be his kick in the pants to do something else.
2. A co-worker of my husband's deserves special recognition for how she handled the news of being laid off: she told the HR person handling it that they were laying everyone off "so they can just keep the old farts who will retire in 10 years & then no one will be available when they need people." I couldn't have said it better myself; I wish I'd been there to hear it.
3. You learn who your friends & supporters are in a crisis. The people who reach out to you (or don't) can be surprising. As always, I have been impressed with the outpouring of kindness & empathy shown to me & my husband this week. I have to make some phone calls soon since I finished my last article for my assignment. Now I'll have to proofread before turning it in on Monday.
I get very defensive & fully admit to being distrustful of people on the whole. I've seen so much negativity and nastiness (especially in the legal field) that it always warms my heart just a little to be treated with kindness. I like to hope I offer that comfort to others when they're in a crisis or having a problem I can relate to.
4. The people w/experience get a lot of flack over limited education. In fact, they feel the same way about it as lawyers who are unemployed & unable to find non-legal work. I notice this with age too. My mother has talked about age being a problem for people in getting jobs; I complained about no one taking me seriously b/c of being too young.
So, is there an answer? I'm not sure. For me, at least the answer is to do something you love. Something you're passionate about that you'd keep doing even if you made millions of dollars & didn't have to work. Life is very short & you can't spend it being miserable unless you want years of regret. I figured out that not being creative or not working in entertainment in some form simply isn't an option for me. It would kill my soul not to use those talents.
Now I need to start making some phone calls. Some will be informative, others will be fire & brimstone tirades that rival those of Julia Sugarbaker (the lead on Designing Women for men & those who've never seen it).
Sometimes you have to wonder whether it's worse to be in your own shoes or somebody else's. People are getting laid off from this library who've been working there for 10 years & have very limited education. My husband has one co-worker who is from Texas & will have to go back if she can't find work in NYC.
So what conundrum is worse? Is it worse to have so much education people deem you overqualified or tons of experience doing something but no education? A few observations here:
1. My husband is embracing this news with grace & realism. He's happy to get away from the politics, the "will I or won't I have a job" anxiety & the inability to ever get meaningful holiday time off. We might FINALLY get to go to NC this year as a married couple. I don't think we've actually done that. He's never gotten to spend Christmas or Thanksgiving w/my family because of the seniority scheme at his job & the old dinosaurs refusing to acknowledge that other people have families out of town they'd like to see sometime. He was stagnating & bored so he thinks this might be his kick in the pants to do something else.
2. A co-worker of my husband's deserves special recognition for how she handled the news of being laid off: she told the HR person handling it that they were laying everyone off "so they can just keep the old farts who will retire in 10 years & then no one will be available when they need people." I couldn't have said it better myself; I wish I'd been there to hear it.
3. You learn who your friends & supporters are in a crisis. The people who reach out to you (or don't) can be surprising. As always, I have been impressed with the outpouring of kindness & empathy shown to me & my husband this week. I have to make some phone calls soon since I finished my last article for my assignment. Now I'll have to proofread before turning it in on Monday.
I get very defensive & fully admit to being distrustful of people on the whole. I've seen so much negativity and nastiness (especially in the legal field) that it always warms my heart just a little to be treated with kindness. I like to hope I offer that comfort to others when they're in a crisis or having a problem I can relate to.
4. The people w/experience get a lot of flack over limited education. In fact, they feel the same way about it as lawyers who are unemployed & unable to find non-legal work. I notice this with age too. My mother has talked about age being a problem for people in getting jobs; I complained about no one taking me seriously b/c of being too young.
So, is there an answer? I'm not sure. For me, at least the answer is to do something you love. Something you're passionate about that you'd keep doing even if you made millions of dollars & didn't have to work. Life is very short & you can't spend it being miserable unless you want years of regret. I figured out that not being creative or not working in entertainment in some form simply isn't an option for me. It would kill my soul not to use those talents.
Now I need to start making some phone calls. Some will be informative, others will be fire & brimstone tirades that rival those of Julia Sugarbaker (the lead on Designing Women for men & those who've never seen it).
Thursday, May 13, 2010
I'm Not Well
If you're a friend of mine, you already know what I'm going to say. If you aren't, then you're about to find out. Warning: it's heavy!
My husband is getting laid off. Not only that, but people who have worked at his job for up to 10 years are getting the axe. They are also closing 14 branches of the library system outright, reducing hours dramatically & the layoffs will total 1/3 of that workforce.
Why is this happening? Well, basically we have a jack-off for a Mayor & a buffoon for a governor in my state. This comes back to some classism on my part but in my view, you can't understand anything about certain experiences if you don't actually live them. I can't really understand what it's like to come from money anymore than those friends of mine can understand what things are like for me or my family. To me, it definitely holds true for elected officials.
We also have a library director whom I'm skeptical about actually suffering any of the pain (Are the HR people or others not doing much more than holding vague, important sounding titles being laid off?) & a union that may or may not have some culpability here. If I hear this library director is taking a drastic pay cut & the union people are taking drastic pay cuts that actually hit them in the pocketbook, I'll change my tune & not make those nasty phone calls. Until then, it's on.
It is once I finish a paid writing assignment, anyway. It's due on Monday & is my first priority right now.
My major issue is living in NYC. I know that if I leave NYC, no one will want to deal with me. I will fall into a deep depression, won't even be able to practice my livelihood & will get homicidal then suicidal. I remember what life was like before I moved to CT & went to law school. I remember living in CT after I finished law school; I felt like I was finished & had to leave. There are places I could go that aren't bad to visit but living there would be too much.
I have friends hundreds of miles away & like seeing them + they have nice homes but I know they'd get sick of me. I would hate dealing w/depressed me & I don't think you can fix someone's loss of their entire dream unless you give them happy pills to tinker w/their personality. Why not just kill me in that instance?
The biggest issue I would have if I didn't take drastic measures would be that I wasted over 10 years of my life. I'm not talking merely going to law school; I'm talking about even getting a high school diploma. What good would it have done me to do all that I've done to just go back to my hometown? I've not been admitted long enough to transfer my licensing & I'd only do better in the entertainment game if I moved to Los Angeles, which my husband wouldn't do. If I wanted to stay in my hometown, I could have dropped out at 16 & become a teen mother like plenty of other girls in that town.
Meeting my husband wasn't a waste & he said he wanted to be with me no matter what, deep depression & all. I, however, did not get married to then get trapped in a life I'd hate; I always said that I'd never live in certain places, job or no job. At least he agreed that he'd take a bloody rampage over living in Oklahoma or some such place.
Hopefully, we might even get to spend a holiday w/my family this year. I'd like my husband to experience that & I haven't gotten to be in their new house except for last year when my niece died. If I lived outside of this area, I think I'd end up falling into depression or worse, turn to drinking or drugs then develop an addiction.
The way I see it is: if my life's falling apart through no fault of my own & despite my best efforts, what's the point in trying to do anything? If there's no reward, why waste your time? If you knew how hard it was for me to get here & seen what happens when someone hates living somewhere, you wouldn't dismiss my emotional state as easily as the "move anywhere" cheerleaders do. Anyone who wishes to pray for me & mine to whatever deity you believe in, be my guest. Maybe some of you have that direct line & can get better results than my family ever seemed to.
My husband is getting laid off. Not only that, but people who have worked at his job for up to 10 years are getting the axe. They are also closing 14 branches of the library system outright, reducing hours dramatically & the layoffs will total 1/3 of that workforce.
Why is this happening? Well, basically we have a jack-off for a Mayor & a buffoon for a governor in my state. This comes back to some classism on my part but in my view, you can't understand anything about certain experiences if you don't actually live them. I can't really understand what it's like to come from money anymore than those friends of mine can understand what things are like for me or my family. To me, it definitely holds true for elected officials.
We also have a library director whom I'm skeptical about actually suffering any of the pain (Are the HR people or others not doing much more than holding vague, important sounding titles being laid off?) & a union that may or may not have some culpability here. If I hear this library director is taking a drastic pay cut & the union people are taking drastic pay cuts that actually hit them in the pocketbook, I'll change my tune & not make those nasty phone calls. Until then, it's on.
It is once I finish a paid writing assignment, anyway. It's due on Monday & is my first priority right now.
My major issue is living in NYC. I know that if I leave NYC, no one will want to deal with me. I will fall into a deep depression, won't even be able to practice my livelihood & will get homicidal then suicidal. I remember what life was like before I moved to CT & went to law school. I remember living in CT after I finished law school; I felt like I was finished & had to leave. There are places I could go that aren't bad to visit but living there would be too much.
I have friends hundreds of miles away & like seeing them + they have nice homes but I know they'd get sick of me. I would hate dealing w/depressed me & I don't think you can fix someone's loss of their entire dream unless you give them happy pills to tinker w/their personality. Why not just kill me in that instance?
The biggest issue I would have if I didn't take drastic measures would be that I wasted over 10 years of my life. I'm not talking merely going to law school; I'm talking about even getting a high school diploma. What good would it have done me to do all that I've done to just go back to my hometown? I've not been admitted long enough to transfer my licensing & I'd only do better in the entertainment game if I moved to Los Angeles, which my husband wouldn't do. If I wanted to stay in my hometown, I could have dropped out at 16 & become a teen mother like plenty of other girls in that town.
Meeting my husband wasn't a waste & he said he wanted to be with me no matter what, deep depression & all. I, however, did not get married to then get trapped in a life I'd hate; I always said that I'd never live in certain places, job or no job. At least he agreed that he'd take a bloody rampage over living in Oklahoma or some such place.
Hopefully, we might even get to spend a holiday w/my family this year. I'd like my husband to experience that & I haven't gotten to be in their new house except for last year when my niece died. If I lived outside of this area, I think I'd end up falling into depression or worse, turn to drinking or drugs then develop an addiction.
The way I see it is: if my life's falling apart through no fault of my own & despite my best efforts, what's the point in trying to do anything? If there's no reward, why waste your time? If you knew how hard it was for me to get here & seen what happens when someone hates living somewhere, you wouldn't dismiss my emotional state as easily as the "move anywhere" cheerleaders do. Anyone who wishes to pray for me & mine to whatever deity you believe in, be my guest. Maybe some of you have that direct line & can get better results than my family ever seemed to.
Labels:
depression,
laid off,
library system,
living in NYC,
unions
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
And Now, For Some "Office Space" Inspired Humor
The bad economy & the shitty job market. Those are the only things you seem to hear about lately. It's especially running true for me.
Over the past few days, I saw an article on the worst things you can say at work + this one.
Having personally known people who hated their jobs & literally had NOTHING they could do to improve the situation along with the fact that I don't expect or demand absolute fealty from someone who does not own a share of my company, I thought of some humorous retorts to this stuff. Here goes:
Here are the true worst words to say at work:
1. "I don't feel like it."
2. "I'm going to kill you/blow this place up." Basically, threats to do some type of physical harm.
3. "We'll have a meeting/seminar on that issue." You know nothing's going to change afterward, right? This is just an attempt to save a company's reputation.
4. "Yes, Your Excellency." I think some people deserve it but I bet you'd get fired for saying it.
5. "I have a life outside of work."
6. "My, that's a lovely dress." For that matter, any insincere platitude or compliment. I just hate brown-nosers though I know others would rather have brainless suck-ups than smart truth tellers. You won't see me doing that; any compliment I give is sincere.
7. Anything humorous b/c corporate business people have NO sense of humor unless it's a creative field.
Hope that gives you a good laugh. The only real solution I see to getting out of certain jobs is getting another one. People I know who had really bad jobs had NO option to work in another department, talk to anyone for a promotion or do any networking. To the higher-ups, they were untouchable underlings not worthy of scrapping dog poop off people's shoes.
What if you're too busy? Find a loud-mouth family member who is good at highlighting your strong points & has some time to deal w/the phone calling nonsense. I did that for people I knew who were in dead-end jobs & they got interviews.
So I'd love to ask Anthony Balderrama (author of many of these career articles encouraging people to kow tow far too much to crappy employers) how he'd suggest someone in a dead-end position that is NOT office work handle things other than doing what people I knew did? Some employers do not care that you're getting an education & make Ebenezer Scrooge look like Santa Claus. Some workplaces are mired in bureaucracy & only promote people who follow XYZ script or for reasons OTHER than qualifications.
Those are the companies & employers who deserve to be publicly trashed; I've pointed out to people that if you screw someone in that regard, they'll take their degree to your competitor the nanosecond they finish in school. I certainly would have myself. I also hate bureaucracy; I don't have the patience for it.
I also think some people are wasted in their jobs & ought to be working as officials in the Taliban or as prison guards but that's another story. Man, I could riff on some of these stories all day long.
Over the past few days, I saw an article on the worst things you can say at work + this one.
Having personally known people who hated their jobs & literally had NOTHING they could do to improve the situation along with the fact that I don't expect or demand absolute fealty from someone who does not own a share of my company, I thought of some humorous retorts to this stuff. Here goes:
Here are the true worst words to say at work:
1. "I don't feel like it."
2. "I'm going to kill you/blow this place up." Basically, threats to do some type of physical harm.
3. "We'll have a meeting/seminar on that issue." You know nothing's going to change afterward, right? This is just an attempt to save a company's reputation.
4. "Yes, Your Excellency." I think some people deserve it but I bet you'd get fired for saying it.
5. "I have a life outside of work."
6. "My, that's a lovely dress." For that matter, any insincere platitude or compliment. I just hate brown-nosers though I know others would rather have brainless suck-ups than smart truth tellers. You won't see me doing that; any compliment I give is sincere.
7. Anything humorous b/c corporate business people have NO sense of humor unless it's a creative field.
Hope that gives you a good laugh. The only real solution I see to getting out of certain jobs is getting another one. People I know who had really bad jobs had NO option to work in another department, talk to anyone for a promotion or do any networking. To the higher-ups, they were untouchable underlings not worthy of scrapping dog poop off people's shoes.
What if you're too busy? Find a loud-mouth family member who is good at highlighting your strong points & has some time to deal w/the phone calling nonsense. I did that for people I knew who were in dead-end jobs & they got interviews.
So I'd love to ask Anthony Balderrama (author of many of these career articles encouraging people to kow tow far too much to crappy employers) how he'd suggest someone in a dead-end position that is NOT office work handle things other than doing what people I knew did? Some employers do not care that you're getting an education & make Ebenezer Scrooge look like Santa Claus. Some workplaces are mired in bureaucracy & only promote people who follow XYZ script or for reasons OTHER than qualifications.
Those are the companies & employers who deserve to be publicly trashed; I've pointed out to people that if you screw someone in that regard, they'll take their degree to your competitor the nanosecond they finish in school. I certainly would have myself. I also hate bureaucracy; I don't have the patience for it.
I also think some people are wasted in their jobs & ought to be working as officials in the Taliban or as prison guards but that's another story. Man, I could riff on some of these stories all day long.
Monday, May 10, 2010
My 1st YouTube Clip
Here is that video clip I promised. Yes, the camera is not a great one & no, if you do NOT help me the situation will not improve.
See it at this address.
No asking me for sexual favors, telling me I'm hot, etc. I hear this enough in real life + I'm happily married. I'll also offer the other readers the opportunity to witness me telling you off in a manner befitting me, The Angry Redheaded Lawyer.
I have some extreme humor saved up as well but for today, I'll post this one. Feeble as it is, this is my very first YouTube clip & I'm proud of having done something instead of sitting around being lazy.
See it at this address.
No asking me for sexual favors, telling me I'm hot, etc. I hear this enough in real life + I'm happily married. I'll also offer the other readers the opportunity to witness me telling you off in a manner befitting me, The Angry Redheaded Lawyer.
I have some extreme humor saved up as well but for today, I'll post this one. Feeble as it is, this is my very first YouTube clip & I'm proud of having done something instead of sitting around being lazy.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
More Interesting Links & Comment on Them
If you're a believer of common sense in immigration policies, take a look at this petition. I haven't signed it b/c I hate logging into that website & most petitions/stances of people don't match up to mine but here you go.
The boycotting junk ticks me off & b/c of it, I think the supporters ought to go out of their way to support Arizona. I can certainly relate to how those citizens must feel.
Oh, and if you dare think that only white racists support enforcement of immigration laws & kicking illegals out, you'd be dead wrong. I have heard about & know of many people who came to this country LEGALLY + learned English who hate the freeloaders & think they should get out without any amnesty. Their feeling is "if we did it legally, you shouldn't be rewarded for doing it illegally." Plus, the freeloaders get lumped in with the legal immigrants who aren't breaking the law, flying their native country's flag in protests or demanding accommodation in a foreign land. Who can blame those people for being pissed off?
Bravo to this guy as well.
I 100% agree w/making English the national language. It's pathetic when you can't go to a local establishment & find an English speaker. A major city like NYC or some area where there's a large concentration of foreign speakers & long established neighborhoods is one thing. When you're seeing this in places like NC or areas without that tradition, it's a different story.
It still pisses me off to go someplace in America where there's NO English signage on a business. I saw a lot of it in in NC in places where this didn't used to be the case.
I think that should be mandatory in places without that tradition & ideally, I'd like to see that all over America; otherwise, you're pretty much announcing to me that you're a racist + don't care to have my business. I really don't blame people who have an English only policy or won't accommodate people who could learn English but refuse to; my husband has co-workers from other countries & they find it distasteful when people don't adapt to the ways of this country.
End of that rant for now. On another front, I saw this story just this morning.
So I have to wonder: what do the law school scam blog folks have to say about this? I also wonder who thought a high school diploma was enough until just recently. This is old news. Doing something beyond high school was expected in my household, especially for me.
I have a question for the President myself on the issue of higher education: what about paying for it?
More undergraduates have taken on private loans & aid has gone down for them. For that matter, what about making graduate education available for all qualified people & not just those coming from money? What are your plans for that one, hmmm? How about reforming the law school/attorney system while we're at it considering much of our nation's legislators & you are attorneys?
If you think the current system is fair or adequate, you are living a sheltered life & haven't got a clue about the real world. You're one of those people I could demoralize in about 5 seconds by taking you apart emotionally. I haven't personally done that to someone yet since I'm saving that for when I'm downright pissed off at someone & don't want to ever deal with him/her again. It's a line I don't cross with those I care about or who I consider friends; call it an unofficial agreement. They don't whine to me about not getting something I'll never be able to afford & I don't call them a whiny brat who'd never survive a real crisis.
If you're young, it's a real problem to think that way; at least older people lived in different times & can be forgiven for being clueless on this issue. Many of them are more likely to have earned their way & are aware of being out of touch unlike some younger people.
The boycotting junk ticks me off & b/c of it, I think the supporters ought to go out of their way to support Arizona. I can certainly relate to how those citizens must feel.
Oh, and if you dare think that only white racists support enforcement of immigration laws & kicking illegals out, you'd be dead wrong. I have heard about & know of many people who came to this country LEGALLY + learned English who hate the freeloaders & think they should get out without any amnesty. Their feeling is "if we did it legally, you shouldn't be rewarded for doing it illegally." Plus, the freeloaders get lumped in with the legal immigrants who aren't breaking the law, flying their native country's flag in protests or demanding accommodation in a foreign land. Who can blame those people for being pissed off?
Bravo to this guy as well.
I 100% agree w/making English the national language. It's pathetic when you can't go to a local establishment & find an English speaker. A major city like NYC or some area where there's a large concentration of foreign speakers & long established neighborhoods is one thing. When you're seeing this in places like NC or areas without that tradition, it's a different story.
It still pisses me off to go someplace in America where there's NO English signage on a business. I saw a lot of it in in NC in places where this didn't used to be the case.
I think that should be mandatory in places without that tradition & ideally, I'd like to see that all over America; otherwise, you're pretty much announcing to me that you're a racist + don't care to have my business. I really don't blame people who have an English only policy or won't accommodate people who could learn English but refuse to; my husband has co-workers from other countries & they find it distasteful when people don't adapt to the ways of this country.
End of that rant for now. On another front, I saw this story just this morning.
So I have to wonder: what do the law school scam blog folks have to say about this? I also wonder who thought a high school diploma was enough until just recently. This is old news. Doing something beyond high school was expected in my household, especially for me.
I have a question for the President myself on the issue of higher education: what about paying for it?
More undergraduates have taken on private loans & aid has gone down for them. For that matter, what about making graduate education available for all qualified people & not just those coming from money? What are your plans for that one, hmmm? How about reforming the law school/attorney system while we're at it considering much of our nation's legislators & you are attorneys?
If you think the current system is fair or adequate, you are living a sheltered life & haven't got a clue about the real world. You're one of those people I could demoralize in about 5 seconds by taking you apart emotionally. I haven't personally done that to someone yet since I'm saving that for when I'm downright pissed off at someone & don't want to ever deal with him/her again. It's a line I don't cross with those I care about or who I consider friends; call it an unofficial agreement. They don't whine to me about not getting something I'll never be able to afford & I don't call them a whiny brat who'd never survive a real crisis.
If you're young, it's a real problem to think that way; at least older people lived in different times & can be forgiven for being clueless on this issue. Many of them are more likely to have earned their way & are aware of being out of touch unlike some younger people.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Interesting Site & Things to Come
I have a significant rant to do but I think I'm going to wait until I start YouTube postings for that. Basically, if my entire life becomes at stake, I'm not going to roll over & play dead. I'll end up doing something newsworthy, even if it's taking up residence on the White House lawn.
Unless you believe in reincarnation, you only get one so you'd better live to the fullest. Even if you do believe in reincarnation, you aren't guaranteed to come back in the same form so you might want to take advantage of whatever form you're in right now.
I saw this website that looked interesting to me & is certainly relevant to my industry.
Now to the YouTube videos. I've never actually posted or created one before yet I do have the tools at my disposal to do it. Once I figure out, I plan to start doing more w/my YouTube subscription than watching other people's clips & giving support to my friends & colleagues by viewing their work. In short, I plan to start using YouTube for the reason everyone else does.
Maybe those of you who don't know me would be surprised by how I look or what I sound like, I don't know. I hope to create some singing clips as well since I'm a good singer & it's probably high time to expose that talent to others, isn't it? Otherwise, you either have to take mine or someone else's word for it and/or catch me in a performance on stage or at karaoke.
Unless you believe in reincarnation, you only get one so you'd better live to the fullest. Even if you do believe in reincarnation, you aren't guaranteed to come back in the same form so you might want to take advantage of whatever form you're in right now.
I saw this website that looked interesting to me & is certainly relevant to my industry.
Now to the YouTube videos. I've never actually posted or created one before yet I do have the tools at my disposal to do it. Once I figure out, I plan to start doing more w/my YouTube subscription than watching other people's clips & giving support to my friends & colleagues by viewing their work. In short, I plan to start using YouTube for the reason everyone else does.
Maybe those of you who don't know me would be surprised by how I look or what I sound like, I don't know. I hope to create some singing clips as well since I'm a good singer & it's probably high time to expose that talent to others, isn't it? Otherwise, you either have to take mine or someone else's word for it and/or catch me in a performance on stage or at karaoke.
Labels:
Questioncopyright.org,
singing clips,
YouTube
Friday, May 7, 2010
The Problem Of Being Too Competent
Sometimes, I think I suffer from being too competent. People have far too much faith in my abilities to come out on top or think that I never need any kind of help on anything that I'm sure eventually, it's just going to lead to the mental breakdown to end all mental breakdowns if things fall apart.
It's almost a backhanded compliment in a way: gee, thanks for your faith in me. I'll still be sitting in this shit condition, though. Unless you're actually HELPING in some way, you haven't provided me any reassurance. It's like telling me I have nice shoes & not offering me a Band Aid or a place to sit when I tell you those shoes are killing my feet & I ask for help.
One thought I've had that maybe some of you can relate to: I want a day job that doesn't require excessive stress, lots of after hours work & lets me leave it there. I noticed while I was in law school that those jobs tend to be in the lower ranks & you have to deal with a different set of problems. Upside, though is low expectations. No one expects you to be perfect or super-competent.
In my business or with people I know aren't going to take advantage, it's another story. I can be ambitious there & have it pay off. No one's going to toss me aside like garbage or just let me drift along to become society's major problem. I say I'd be society's problem b/c I come from a family of fighters; I won't be going down without taking some others with me. I'd also be forming an army to deal with the utter BS I see around me.
At this point, I've completely checked out on the idea of getting a paying day job. I think I'm only looking at Craig's List to find funny ads or stupidity I can call out on this blog. After all, seems I'm getting a bit of a following even in fun & exotic locals I've never been to. I already have prospects w/people who aren't going to treat me like trash & know how I operate. I don't have to play games with them or have things like competence or being myself operate against me.
I've given it the old Girl Scout try & have far more going for me than plenty of other people. As long as you don't delay the inevitable or let the system take you down without a fight, there's no reason to let those bastards win.
I ought to work on my writing anyway. I also need to figure out how to create samples of myself singing & do YouTube videos of rants at the suggestion of the same person who said I should have this blog. First thing is a mic, a laptop & learning how to do videos.
It's almost a backhanded compliment in a way: gee, thanks for your faith in me. I'll still be sitting in this shit condition, though. Unless you're actually HELPING in some way, you haven't provided me any reassurance. It's like telling me I have nice shoes & not offering me a Band Aid or a place to sit when I tell you those shoes are killing my feet & I ask for help.
One thought I've had that maybe some of you can relate to: I want a day job that doesn't require excessive stress, lots of after hours work & lets me leave it there. I noticed while I was in law school that those jobs tend to be in the lower ranks & you have to deal with a different set of problems. Upside, though is low expectations. No one expects you to be perfect or super-competent.
In my business or with people I know aren't going to take advantage, it's another story. I can be ambitious there & have it pay off. No one's going to toss me aside like garbage or just let me drift along to become society's major problem. I say I'd be society's problem b/c I come from a family of fighters; I won't be going down without taking some others with me. I'd also be forming an army to deal with the utter BS I see around me.
At this point, I've completely checked out on the idea of getting a paying day job. I think I'm only looking at Craig's List to find funny ads or stupidity I can call out on this blog. After all, seems I'm getting a bit of a following even in fun & exotic locals I've never been to. I already have prospects w/people who aren't going to treat me like trash & know how I operate. I don't have to play games with them or have things like competence or being myself operate against me.
I've given it the old Girl Scout try & have far more going for me than plenty of other people. As long as you don't delay the inevitable or let the system take you down without a fight, there's no reason to let those bastards win.
I ought to work on my writing anyway. I also need to figure out how to create samples of myself singing & do YouTube videos of rants at the suggestion of the same person who said I should have this blog. First thing is a mic, a laptop & learning how to do videos.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Some Witty & Funny Craig's List Ads
I hope they don't take this one off Craig's List before you see it b/c this one's just too funny for me to ignore. I couldn't copy the flyer image so I have to post the link.
This one also has a charm to it that I like. Calling out leeches & freeloaders is definitely something I support.
Look below!!
Skilled Intern? (New York)
Date: 2010-05-06, 1:52PM EDT
Reply to: see below
An intern - by definition - is someone with no, or very few, skills. If you advertise for an 'intern' with a long list of highly technical skills and/or equipment, what you advertise for is truly slave-labor. Experience with your company is nearly useless on any resume - just look at all the resumes for actual jobs floating around out there at this very moment with tons of actual references and employment experience that get passed on every minute.
The bottom line is that one should never solicit something for nothing. Why? Because it is the wrong thing to do.
* Location: New York
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: Fair Pay For Services Rendered!!!
This one also has a charm to it that I like. Calling out leeches & freeloaders is definitely something I support.
Look below!!
Skilled Intern? (New York)
Date: 2010-05-06, 1:52PM EDT
Reply to: see below
An intern - by definition - is someone with no, or very few, skills. If you advertise for an 'intern' with a long list of highly technical skills and/or equipment, what you advertise for is truly slave-labor. Experience with your company is nearly useless on any resume - just look at all the resumes for actual jobs floating around out there at this very moment with tons of actual references and employment experience that get passed on every minute.
The bottom line is that one should never solicit something for nothing. Why? Because it is the wrong thing to do.
* Location: New York
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: Fair Pay For Services Rendered!!!
Forfeiting Your Human Rights
This just pisses me off.
Aside from the fact that I've had cats since I was a baby (literally) & have proper respect for animals, I think the laws are way too light for people who abuse & harm animals in any form or fashion.
I also take issue w/people who have children & decide that their pets should be tossed out like an old piece of furniture. Are these people going to do that to their kids when they do something Mom & Dad don't like? What if these kids come out of the closet, date someone the parents don't approve of, take drugs, start drinking, etc.? If you're not willing to toss out a child for that stuff, you can't support tossing out a pet unless you're a hypocrite. And you know, The Angry Redheaded Lawyer HATES hypocrites.
My family would never, in a trillion years, ditch a pet like that. Those pets are family members just like any human being & do not get the short end of the stick in my family. In fact, my mom claims the cats eat better than the humans do.
For all the bleeding heart liberals out there (and if you dare to call ME one, you clearly haven't read this blog or spoken to me in depth), I don't care about people who commit inhuman acts. Once you've tortured an animal, harmed a child, raped someone or done something so disgusting & so appalling that at least 80% of the population wouldn't want to live next door to you, you have forfeited your human rights. As far as I'm concerned, you should be punished in the harshest, cruelest fashion known to man. Take a cue from China, the Middle East & other countries where there are real punishments for disgusting, inhumane acts unlike in America where you get to watch cable TV with all your limbs intact unless some inmate justice occurs.
If I had my way, any act you committed against an animal would be done to you as punishment. Let's put gas on YOU and light YOU on fire. Let's shoot YOU in your own home.
Too harsh, you say? Well, would you do that to an innocent creature if someone did it to YOU? Might deter a few crimes or at least kill some people who no longer get to be members of the human race.
I don't have sympathy for certain mental issues, despite having a BA in Psych because at the end of the day you can fake a mental illness, there are many that psychologists don't know much about & recidivism rates are ungodly high for certain things. Some people CAN'T be rehabilitated, simple as that.
And, yes I'm all for vigilante justice. When the law is being ineffective or dismissive, I think you need people to fill in the cracks or those cracks will never get fixed. It's not my place to tell anyone how to feel or what to do if their loved one is harmed or killed by some random scumbag; I'd personally murder someone for even thinking of harming my cat. If you think I wouldn't, remember the story I shared about my friend bringing home the stray cat, her husband kicking the carrier w/him inside & what I did next. I believe I wrote about this in an earlier entry.
To be perfectly honest, I do have more regard for animal life than most human life, in particular human life that has personally wronged me in some way or done something inhuman. Lucky for most people, I haven't personally witnessed much animal cruelty b/c I'd probably have a viable insanity defense for doing whatever I did after seeing it.
I'm also in favor of the death penalty & think we should have televised hanging/stoning for the worst crimes b/c I feel it would be a viable deterrent. Maybe we use castration as a deterrent as well.
BUT...I do think there should be a more speedy, fair & effective appeals process. No killing anyone unless you're 100% sure or at least 90% sure the person did it. If the technology is faulty, we need to address it since there are quite a few cases where people were falsely incarcerated for a long time & DNA evidence proved their innocence. Law firms & clinics working on those cases should get more funding.
I don't pretend to have all the answers here & it's not an easy issue but I still hold strongly to not giving human rights to people who've proved they aren't human. You can bet if I got to make laws that had to be enforced without question, some people would be trembling in their socks. I may have ranted on this before but it bears repeating.
Now I'll probably go watch some of my Season 4 DVD of The Facts of Life.
Aside from the fact that I've had cats since I was a baby (literally) & have proper respect for animals, I think the laws are way too light for people who abuse & harm animals in any form or fashion.
I also take issue w/people who have children & decide that their pets should be tossed out like an old piece of furniture. Are these people going to do that to their kids when they do something Mom & Dad don't like? What if these kids come out of the closet, date someone the parents don't approve of, take drugs, start drinking, etc.? If you're not willing to toss out a child for that stuff, you can't support tossing out a pet unless you're a hypocrite. And you know, The Angry Redheaded Lawyer HATES hypocrites.
My family would never, in a trillion years, ditch a pet like that. Those pets are family members just like any human being & do not get the short end of the stick in my family. In fact, my mom claims the cats eat better than the humans do.
For all the bleeding heart liberals out there (and if you dare to call ME one, you clearly haven't read this blog or spoken to me in depth), I don't care about people who commit inhuman acts. Once you've tortured an animal, harmed a child, raped someone or done something so disgusting & so appalling that at least 80% of the population wouldn't want to live next door to you, you have forfeited your human rights. As far as I'm concerned, you should be punished in the harshest, cruelest fashion known to man. Take a cue from China, the Middle East & other countries where there are real punishments for disgusting, inhumane acts unlike in America where you get to watch cable TV with all your limbs intact unless some inmate justice occurs.
If I had my way, any act you committed against an animal would be done to you as punishment. Let's put gas on YOU and light YOU on fire. Let's shoot YOU in your own home.
Too harsh, you say? Well, would you do that to an innocent creature if someone did it to YOU? Might deter a few crimes or at least kill some people who no longer get to be members of the human race.
I don't have sympathy for certain mental issues, despite having a BA in Psych because at the end of the day you can fake a mental illness, there are many that psychologists don't know much about & recidivism rates are ungodly high for certain things. Some people CAN'T be rehabilitated, simple as that.
And, yes I'm all for vigilante justice. When the law is being ineffective or dismissive, I think you need people to fill in the cracks or those cracks will never get fixed. It's not my place to tell anyone how to feel or what to do if their loved one is harmed or killed by some random scumbag; I'd personally murder someone for even thinking of harming my cat. If you think I wouldn't, remember the story I shared about my friend bringing home the stray cat, her husband kicking the carrier w/him inside & what I did next. I believe I wrote about this in an earlier entry.
To be perfectly honest, I do have more regard for animal life than most human life, in particular human life that has personally wronged me in some way or done something inhuman. Lucky for most people, I haven't personally witnessed much animal cruelty b/c I'd probably have a viable insanity defense for doing whatever I did after seeing it.
I'm also in favor of the death penalty & think we should have televised hanging/stoning for the worst crimes b/c I feel it would be a viable deterrent. Maybe we use castration as a deterrent as well.
BUT...I do think there should be a more speedy, fair & effective appeals process. No killing anyone unless you're 100% sure or at least 90% sure the person did it. If the technology is faulty, we need to address it since there are quite a few cases where people were falsely incarcerated for a long time & DNA evidence proved their innocence. Law firms & clinics working on those cases should get more funding.
I don't pretend to have all the answers here & it's not an easy issue but I still hold strongly to not giving human rights to people who've proved they aren't human. You can bet if I got to make laws that had to be enforced without question, some people would be trembling in their socks. I may have ranted on this before but it bears repeating.
Now I'll probably go watch some of my Season 4 DVD of The Facts of Life.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
A Law That I Find Stupid
Guess it's open season on stealing if you can just get out the exit door.
And we wonder why people don't like getting involved in situations. This is the same thing as the man who got a jaywalking ticket after helping those old women cross the street on an icy road & getting hit by a bus. I'm sure the bad press motivated the police to change their minds about the ticket.
I'm a lawyer & find any policy or law like this to be utter stupidity. Don't blame all lawyers; we don't actually believe McDonalds made anyone fat or that the lady who put the hot coffee between her legs was rational. There were underlying legit grievances in some of these cases but in reality, lawyers are just trying to make a quick buck in whatever way they can.
I also think not being able to set shotgun traps on criminals is stupid but then again, I also believe that you forfeit human rights once you commit an act that proves you are inhuman such as animal cruelty, rape, beating a child, etc. Needless to say I could never be a criminal defense lawyer.
And we wonder why people don't like getting involved in situations. This is the same thing as the man who got a jaywalking ticket after helping those old women cross the street on an icy road & getting hit by a bus. I'm sure the bad press motivated the police to change their minds about the ticket.
I'm a lawyer & find any policy or law like this to be utter stupidity. Don't blame all lawyers; we don't actually believe McDonalds made anyone fat or that the lady who put the hot coffee between her legs was rational. There were underlying legit grievances in some of these cases but in reality, lawyers are just trying to make a quick buck in whatever way they can.
I also think not being able to set shotgun traps on criminals is stupid but then again, I also believe that you forfeit human rights once you commit an act that proves you are inhuman such as animal cruelty, rape, beating a child, etc. Needless to say I could never be a criminal defense lawyer.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
I Can't Believe I Haven't Written the Marriage Rant Yet
It's a shocker to me. I think I've touched on it in various entries when I talk about the absurdity of someone "stealing" a mate or moving someplace just for somebody else. The idea of getting married itself, though? I don't think I did that one yet.
So because I haven't & people might wonder, here it is:
I swore up & down that I would be single forever. Literally, I figured I'd be like one of the women on Sex & the City when I hit my 30s. My oldest friend in the world would tell you I'd probably be like Miranda pre-baby & not just b/c of my hair or being a lawyer (remember, she's not an entertainment lawyer). It would be because of my sarcastic wit, much like that character's.
Now, despite my thoughts I had people saying otherwise. Despite not having a serious boyfriend until after high school (and the guy who wrote me those "I like you, do you like me?" notes in 1st grade doesn't count even though he was my first kiss), despite literally not being able to get a date in high school even though I look exactly the same as I did then & despite not being able to get along with a guy for longer than 6 months before meeting my husband (guys living in a different state from mine do not count). I still had people telling me I'd eventually get married. I thought, "Ha! That will be the day."
You remember reading about all my failed relationships & exploits? Yeah, that pretty much clinched my anti-marriage views if they weren't already there.
When I was younger, I wasn't even one of those girls who wanted to get married. I also didn't have models for a "good marriage" so in my mind marriage meant giving up your identity, your soul, everything you care about for someone else. I didn't even see that many good dating relationships among people I knew. I wanted a career & figured I'd have a successful career + money to comfort me.
Watching people in relationships on TV & in the movies (especially romantic comedies) definitely made me want to pass on the institution of marriage.
Aside from that, I never actually fell in love with anyone. At least, not Hollywood romantic love. I thought I might have with Vampire Boy but when I met my husband, I figured out that I hadn't. I never had the same connection w/anyone that I have with my husband; I remember looking for it & being disappointed when I didn't get it.
I figured I'd have to have multiple husbands if I'd ever be happy because one person could never make me happy or put up with me & my wackiness. Lucky for me, my husband felt the same way about marriage as an institution. He also figured he'd be single; in fact, if we weren't married to each other I think we both would be though he might put up with far more BS than I would.
I had plenty of guys try to get me to commit but I just wasn't feeling it. I wasn't going to settle & I think one big problem in society is that too many people settle for the wrong person. I preferred being alone to settling for someone I didn't love or someone who'd treat me badly.
Everyone else around me seemed to make getting married & finding "the One" so easy. The worst was the infamous Valentine's Day when I got dumped & my sister got engaged the next day (for the record, my sister is YOUNGER & the only one I have). Dating casually was fine with me though it got lonely from time to time.
Even though I'm married now, my husband & I still think there are plenty of people who shouldn't get married. Neither of us think people should give up things for another person, try to change someone, treat them like crap, etc. What's the point? I also think it's insane to treat a spouse like a child; I don't tell my husband who to be friends with or what to do. He'd never do that to me. Oh, and finally we agreed not to have a celibate marriage; neither of us would stick around for one of those.
I have one friend he doesn't like much (and vice versa) but I don't think either of them would tell me "It's the marriage or this friendship." That would piss me off since I despise being told what to do & a marriage without trust is a sham. My husband & I have discussed what we'd do if the other cheated. It doesn't involve forgiving & forgetting, I'll say that right now.
If my husband has friends I don't like, it's because I don't appreciate how they treated him & feel he should stand up for himself. I've said that such people aren't welcome in my home; this is different from my friend b/c he never treated me in such a way that he no longer deserved the title of "friend." My husband's former friends DID do this.
We at least feel the same about exes so that's not an issue. I think I mentioned this before but to me, it's impossible to be friends with an ex unless one person has changed so dramatically from when the earlier relationship happened. I have far too much emotion & unresolved conflict entangled in my past relationships to ever be civil to nearly all my exes.
If I can at least not want to murder an ex if he's in my eye line, that's a victory for me. Same with my husband & his exes (change the above to "she's"). Is it any surprise that people say we're the male/female versions of each other?
So, I have a lot of problems with the idea of marriage itself or at least the idea of traditional marriage. However, I've got no problem w/a truly functional marriage where both people are equal, treated like responsible adults, and operate out of love, respect, loyalty and support for one another with each person having the right to act & react as he/she wishes. I don't think you NEED marriage per se to validate a relationship but we got ours to make life easier on legal matters & practical issues like getting an apartment. We felt like we belonged together & had a future long before getting married, that's for sure.
So because I haven't & people might wonder, here it is:
I swore up & down that I would be single forever. Literally, I figured I'd be like one of the women on Sex & the City when I hit my 30s. My oldest friend in the world would tell you I'd probably be like Miranda pre-baby & not just b/c of my hair or being a lawyer (remember, she's not an entertainment lawyer). It would be because of my sarcastic wit, much like that character's.
Now, despite my thoughts I had people saying otherwise. Despite not having a serious boyfriend until after high school (and the guy who wrote me those "I like you, do you like me?" notes in 1st grade doesn't count even though he was my first kiss), despite literally not being able to get a date in high school even though I look exactly the same as I did then & despite not being able to get along with a guy for longer than 6 months before meeting my husband (guys living in a different state from mine do not count). I still had people telling me I'd eventually get married. I thought, "Ha! That will be the day."
You remember reading about all my failed relationships & exploits? Yeah, that pretty much clinched my anti-marriage views if they weren't already there.
When I was younger, I wasn't even one of those girls who wanted to get married. I also didn't have models for a "good marriage" so in my mind marriage meant giving up your identity, your soul, everything you care about for someone else. I didn't even see that many good dating relationships among people I knew. I wanted a career & figured I'd have a successful career + money to comfort me.
Watching people in relationships on TV & in the movies (especially romantic comedies) definitely made me want to pass on the institution of marriage.
Aside from that, I never actually fell in love with anyone. At least, not Hollywood romantic love. I thought I might have with Vampire Boy but when I met my husband, I figured out that I hadn't. I never had the same connection w/anyone that I have with my husband; I remember looking for it & being disappointed when I didn't get it.
I figured I'd have to have multiple husbands if I'd ever be happy because one person could never make me happy or put up with me & my wackiness. Lucky for me, my husband felt the same way about marriage as an institution. He also figured he'd be single; in fact, if we weren't married to each other I think we both would be though he might put up with far more BS than I would.
I had plenty of guys try to get me to commit but I just wasn't feeling it. I wasn't going to settle & I think one big problem in society is that too many people settle for the wrong person. I preferred being alone to settling for someone I didn't love or someone who'd treat me badly.
Everyone else around me seemed to make getting married & finding "the One" so easy. The worst was the infamous Valentine's Day when I got dumped & my sister got engaged the next day (for the record, my sister is YOUNGER & the only one I have). Dating casually was fine with me though it got lonely from time to time.
Even though I'm married now, my husband & I still think there are plenty of people who shouldn't get married. Neither of us think people should give up things for another person, try to change someone, treat them like crap, etc. What's the point? I also think it's insane to treat a spouse like a child; I don't tell my husband who to be friends with or what to do. He'd never do that to me. Oh, and finally we agreed not to have a celibate marriage; neither of us would stick around for one of those.
I have one friend he doesn't like much (and vice versa) but I don't think either of them would tell me "It's the marriage or this friendship." That would piss me off since I despise being told what to do & a marriage without trust is a sham. My husband & I have discussed what we'd do if the other cheated. It doesn't involve forgiving & forgetting, I'll say that right now.
If my husband has friends I don't like, it's because I don't appreciate how they treated him & feel he should stand up for himself. I've said that such people aren't welcome in my home; this is different from my friend b/c he never treated me in such a way that he no longer deserved the title of "friend." My husband's former friends DID do this.
We at least feel the same about exes so that's not an issue. I think I mentioned this before but to me, it's impossible to be friends with an ex unless one person has changed so dramatically from when the earlier relationship happened. I have far too much emotion & unresolved conflict entangled in my past relationships to ever be civil to nearly all my exes.
If I can at least not want to murder an ex if he's in my eye line, that's a victory for me. Same with my husband & his exes (change the above to "she's"). Is it any surprise that people say we're the male/female versions of each other?
So, I have a lot of problems with the idea of marriage itself or at least the idea of traditional marriage. However, I've got no problem w/a truly functional marriage where both people are equal, treated like responsible adults, and operate out of love, respect, loyalty and support for one another with each person having the right to act & react as he/she wishes. I don't think you NEED marriage per se to validate a relationship but we got ours to make life easier on legal matters & practical issues like getting an apartment. We felt like we belonged together & had a future long before getting married, that's for sure.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Life Updates & The Eternal Question of the Unemployed
My baby nephew was born this weekend. He came out earlier than anyone expected & he's going to be over a month old before I'll be able to visit him but no one in my family's mad that I'm going to a Pearl Jam concert w/my husband or that I'm going to a film premiere for my company before I'll be down there.
To my absolute joy, the baby's got dark hair so he won't end up having those social problems that you natural redheads know all too well. I figured it would be much worse for a kid whose sibling ISN'T a redhead. It would have been worse for my own younger sister if I'd also not had red hair.
Siblings fight & get jealous anyway (and we're as different as night & day) but I'd have practically been Marcia Brady with my sister as Jan Brady. If you haven't seen The Brady Bunch Movie to see that sibling rivalry, you have to. It's also a very funny movie.
The way I view it as an auntie is it's my job to be the cool one who exposes them to new things & who they can confide in. Kind of like Uncle Jesse in Full House; I figure my job & life will be more interesting. I also feel it's my duty to make sure they never settle or think they can't do something because of where they came from or factors beyond their control. I also hope they say "If my Auntie can do it, then so can I." Heck, if anyone looks at things I've done & get inspired to try something no matter the odds I'll have done what I'm supposed to.
This sort of ties into my employment situation: I no longer have a day job & I'm in a catch-22 of being entrenched in the entertainment industry + learning a lot about it but no one being able to pay me a salary. I read a lot of career advice articles & blogs on various places like MSN or Yahoo and it seems to me that in order to get a job anywhere, you have to do everything short of getting the company's logo tattooed to your backside. You can't pursue your own endeavors, have a side job or even have an opinion in some places.
A big problem with business is when you don't listen to the devil's advocate or have someone like that around to tell you when something might be a bad idea. Any group or celeb is in BIG trouble when there is no ability to express dissenting views without punishment. I just wonder why I'm not able to find something paying me a modest rate (enough to pay my private loan payment + transportation though a little extra won't hurt) & doesn't require me to make a lifelong commitment to the employer + be subjected to disrespect. I don't have motivation to work that hard for someone who's just going to toss me out like garbage or call me an idiot either directly or indirectly.
My definition of disrespect should be obvious from other entries I've written but in case it's not, I basically don't care to be treated like a 6 year old. Many legal employers do treat people like this & it's a waste of my time (at least in many private practice law firms or on document review projects; I can't speak for other places).
I think it's also because of being an entrepreneur; once you work for yourself & have to do things on your own, it's very hard to go back to the dictatorship that is the corporate workplace unless you're higher up on the food chain.
Combining all this with the stories you read about people getting tossed out on the street with very little notice after working someplace for a long time, you can bet I screen anyone I'd consider working with very carefully. Some companies seem to think they have the power but boy, are they wrong. People watch them & I definitely remember the good vs. bad experiences I had with companies.
I hope more people use their time being unemployed to rethink how they want to be treated in the workplace & demand higher standards when they're giving 100% to a job. The marketplace would require changes & your average person might have a more pleasant job environment. Note that this only goes for people who are doing their jobs & turning in proper performance; I don't abide laziness but I also don't abide requirements to paint a partner's home, pick up a boss's dry cleaning or be on call when your job title doesn't include those things.
What next, an idol of the boss everyone has to bow down to every morning? Maybe kissing the boss's ring before you start the workday?
To my absolute joy, the baby's got dark hair so he won't end up having those social problems that you natural redheads know all too well. I figured it would be much worse for a kid whose sibling ISN'T a redhead. It would have been worse for my own younger sister if I'd also not had red hair.
Siblings fight & get jealous anyway (and we're as different as night & day) but I'd have practically been Marcia Brady with my sister as Jan Brady. If you haven't seen The Brady Bunch Movie to see that sibling rivalry, you have to. It's also a very funny movie.
The way I view it as an auntie is it's my job to be the cool one who exposes them to new things & who they can confide in. Kind of like Uncle Jesse in Full House; I figure my job & life will be more interesting. I also feel it's my duty to make sure they never settle or think they can't do something because of where they came from or factors beyond their control. I also hope they say "If my Auntie can do it, then so can I." Heck, if anyone looks at things I've done & get inspired to try something no matter the odds I'll have done what I'm supposed to.
This sort of ties into my employment situation: I no longer have a day job & I'm in a catch-22 of being entrenched in the entertainment industry + learning a lot about it but no one being able to pay me a salary. I read a lot of career advice articles & blogs on various places like MSN or Yahoo and it seems to me that in order to get a job anywhere, you have to do everything short of getting the company's logo tattooed to your backside. You can't pursue your own endeavors, have a side job or even have an opinion in some places.
A big problem with business is when you don't listen to the devil's advocate or have someone like that around to tell you when something might be a bad idea. Any group or celeb is in BIG trouble when there is no ability to express dissenting views without punishment. I just wonder why I'm not able to find something paying me a modest rate (enough to pay my private loan payment + transportation though a little extra won't hurt) & doesn't require me to make a lifelong commitment to the employer + be subjected to disrespect. I don't have motivation to work that hard for someone who's just going to toss me out like garbage or call me an idiot either directly or indirectly.
My definition of disrespect should be obvious from other entries I've written but in case it's not, I basically don't care to be treated like a 6 year old. Many legal employers do treat people like this & it's a waste of my time (at least in many private practice law firms or on document review projects; I can't speak for other places).
I think it's also because of being an entrepreneur; once you work for yourself & have to do things on your own, it's very hard to go back to the dictatorship that is the corporate workplace unless you're higher up on the food chain.
Combining all this with the stories you read about people getting tossed out on the street with very little notice after working someplace for a long time, you can bet I screen anyone I'd consider working with very carefully. Some companies seem to think they have the power but boy, are they wrong. People watch them & I definitely remember the good vs. bad experiences I had with companies.
I hope more people use their time being unemployed to rethink how they want to be treated in the workplace & demand higher standards when they're giving 100% to a job. The marketplace would require changes & your average person might have a more pleasant job environment. Note that this only goes for people who are doing their jobs & turning in proper performance; I don't abide laziness but I also don't abide requirements to paint a partner's home, pick up a boss's dry cleaning or be on call when your job title doesn't include those things.
What next, an idol of the boss everyone has to bow down to every morning? Maybe kissing the boss's ring before you start the workday?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)