Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Who's the Bully Here and Other Life Stuff

First off, check out this petition & go sign it (especially if you really hate the MPAA). Those who've read this blog know that I don't take kindly to bullying. I was once bullied myself. Lucky for the perpetrators, they didn't make physical contact with me or cause me these kinds of injuries since I'd have snapped & killed them. If I didn't have a vision of a future away from my hometown and the little shits who lived in it, I'd have been a one woman killing machine long before Columbine ever happened.

I truly think the MPAA did this because the ones who voted against it are bullies themselves. How many filmmakers have they pissed off with their arbitrary ratings process, their secrecy & rules against using their prior decisions to argue for why THIS film in front of them should get a particular rating? It pisses me off as a lawyer who saw "This Film is Not Yet Rated" as well as a person working in the entertainment industry. This doesn't even match with the MPAA's objective of protecting the little children from harm. Morons. Kids aren't little angels! They use profanity. They watch online porn, they do drugs, they have sex.

This sounds like a film teens should be seeing & one that should be mandatory viewing for middle school kids among others. If you disagree, you need to join us in 2012 since the world's changed since your 1950's utopia & by the way, I'd bet a million dollars that these same people are encouraging their kids to bully others or being ineffectual teachers and administrators. I've got no sympathy for these do nothing saps if they're sitting around doing zip about bullies and end up being taken out by some bullied kid's weapon. That's called karma & getting what you deserve. Now, note that I'm speaking of teachers & administrators who have been told about bullying situations and do NOTHING to help the bullied kid (not even separating the problem kid & gang from the bullied). Actual notice vs. suspicion.

Maybe we should stick them with bullies & see how THEY like it. I'm sure these are the same people who think kids who defend themselves should be punished for hitting back instead of being a chump and letting some asshole injure them so badly they need a trip to the hospital. I tell you, if anyone had struck me we'd have been going for death. I was never the sort to screw around; I'd do much worse than simply pull your hair. I'd want to rip your beating heart out of your chest & lift it up for the world to see as an example of why you'd better not fuck with me unless you have a death wish.

I was watching an episode of "Dateline" where they had these hidden cameras & set up bullying situations to see what the kids involved in the program would do (their parents were watching this scene as it unfolded). There was one scenario where these girls were having to pick out clothes & making fun of one girl. Eviscerating is probably the right word for it.

This one girl gets right in the Queen Bee's face, calls her out & basically goes all Terminator on her. My husband was like "That's YOU!" This girl goes so far as to say "So we should all bow down to you?!" then gets on her knees & does this exaggerated bow yelling about her greatness in this sarcastic way. I'd have been proud to be related to her since it seems like something I'd do if you made me mad enough. When they talked to her, she said she herself had been bullied & later learned to stand up for herself, that she was worth something, etc. And she wasn't even a redhead.

I also made it a point to tell my filmmaker contacts about this since if they're censoring the Weinstein Company today, the MPAA could be censoring you or me tomorrow. I'd like to see the MPAA dismantled since I think it's outdated in the age of You Tube, online porn & smartphones for kids.

Parents need to act like parents instead of friends (and you wonder why I think the recent attacks on women's rights are made by chauvinistic men who are asking to be raped by big, angry convicts). That would solve so many problems & we'd see less bullying if kids got the message at home that it's not cool or acceptable. I'd kick my underage relatives' butts myself if they were bullying anyone.

Another lesson about bullied people: they develop a lot of rage. Some people turn it inward while others turn it outward. Bad home lives & personal circumstances don't help matters either. You never know which one you're going to be dealing with.

Generally, things have been better for me. I just finished that improv class & signed up for the 102 level. I'm also starting a full time freelance temp job soon (lasting a few months). Same thing I was doing last year for a few months: I guess they liked my work. It's that perfect job that doesn't require me to take it home or break out in cold sweats at night over it. Those jobs aren't easy to come by if you're a lawyer; most people think you want those high stress situations but with me knowing what I want to do already, that sort of job is the last thing I want.

I also decided to sign up for an acting class I saw advertised through one of those deal websites after talking to someone at the school & getting my questions answered (for one thing, I was told I didn't have to want to be a full time actor & give up everything else I do to be there). When you're nice to me, answer my questions & understand my concerns, that's good business. Oh, and it seems I'm at the intermediate level & not a beginner b/c I have actually done stuff. Nor do I have to worry about anyone trying to teach the business side of acting, which I already know about thank you very much. Another school apparently does this & I was like "Uh, I'm a lawyer & have my own film company. Plus, I interned with an agent. I have a pretty good idea of that stuff." Only idiots cross lawyers, no matter what they look like or their years of experience. This acting class was also something else I wanted to do: a general class where I could sort of get a refresher, some refining & technically have real training outside of my high school drama class or actual participation in shows.

My improv classmates were also cool & I'd like to get some of their resumes for our files since I saw some talent + range. It was also a great atmosphere & I even heard one person comment on how the atmosphere was so much better than it was at one place where she was taking a class. The question, though is professionalism. I don't recommend people unless I know they can be professional & not cause problems.

I have to say I've definitely been happier with this new "don't stress over stuff" outlook on life. I even had to deal with what I've since nicknamed "the case that wouldn't die." Just so you know, if you get pissed at your former attorney you can't get your friend to call the person up & demand documents from your case. We can only give that stuff to the court, your attorney or you. Not my problem if you lost my termination letter. If you don't have your attorney or the judge contact me directly & I can't get anyone after I've told the court I'm not involved, that's it. I've done my part. If we can't even deal with people's parents or spouses, we certainly can't deal with friends (especially when they don't even have a writing from the client saying it's okay for the former lawyer to deal with that person). Attorney-client privilege, for God's sake!

That whole experience helped lessened my tolerance for BS & drained my altruism.

In other news, my husband saw an ad for his dream job. It's at an employer that he already spends a significant amount of money on in terms of their main product (and it's in my general industry). He's got over twice the minimum years of experience they asked for & all the stuff they asked about, including a downright scary encyclopedic knowledge of their industry. He prefers this particular large company for his product to the other big name company for it, which is apparently a plus since many people prefer the other big company. Networking by me helped us clear one hurdle: the name & contact info of the HR person collecting this stuff. I'm giving them 2 weeks; if we hear nothing, I will be following up (though it will be my first day of working, you bet I'll be doing this).

As the unofficial HR head myself & having sorted out intern applications, being an owner in an entertainment company & knowing that any moron could see that my husband should be working at this job if they talked to him for about 10 minutes (probably less), I will have to call the person a moron if they don't even offer him an interview (not just as a wife but as a business owner). I'll also be publicly shaming the place & holding a very long, prolific grudge against them if he's not at least interviewed (if not hired). They certainly won't be getting favors from me or my company & though my husband won't be boycotting them, I certainly will.

Trust me, if you knew all the details, knew my husband's background & what he's been doing in his free time for NO money for the benefit of that industry & helping further it, you'd feel the same way. You'd want to see that place suffer as well & would do you best not to help it if they were doing something to mess up your home life.

For those of you not in relationships with someone you care about & live with, their happiness is your happiness. Their joy is your joy & their tragedy is your tragedy. You have to live with that person; I don't want to live with a husband who's become a shattered, broken person because some asshole refused to give him the chance he deserved. And yes, that person/entity/group would be an asshole considering my networking contacts who helped us clear that hurdle clearly believe in my husband as well based on the facts given.

Now my husband isn't super happy at his current job but does have some prospects he didn't have at his old location. However, "dream job" does trump anything else in writing a letter. I probably got into this business because even a total idiot could see that I had a passion for it & should get a chance. I tried to make sure my husband's cover letter for this was that crystal clear in terms of highlighting passion, interest, experience & just the fact that this would actually be his dream job vs. some platitude he was making to someone. You can't call everything you apply for a "dream job" & the standards for them are different for everyone.

I have an intuitive sense that the HR people there do have some brain cells that work & will love his resume but I've had life let me down (as has he). This means I'm keeping my cynical shell up & am prepared to fight as hard as I need to to make sure my husband gets that fair shake. Otherwise, he may not have a wife to talk about that product with anymore since I'll just be angry over the whole thing & bring it up all the time. I don't support people who ruin my flow or interfere with my opportunities (messing with my husband is messing with me since you're affecting MY life & the entire fabric of my household in multiple ways). Remember, I chewed out that hiring person at the law firm in New Haven who didn't bother telling me anything & who I had to call to learn that they hired someone else with no word to anyone who'd gotten interviewed.

I suppose it creates a cycle. Life does something to disappoint me or let me down & I come out fighting. Some people get super taken aback by my initial reaction, which then means I explain my case & usually things work out. I've just seen & heard about some harsh BS in the workplace, especially in major companies. If they did fulfill my dumbass theory (essentially, it says that employers don't want to hire anyone competent or intelligent & just want to hire the dumbasses since they won't challenge anything, will happily eat all the shit you feed them & lie prostrate before you if you ask them to; this is my theory as to why I never got considered for jobs I was very qualified for & was devised long before I ever worked at the Atlanta law firm), I wouldn't be shocked. I vowed years ago that if I ever had a business, I'd never run it that way. I also think the dumbass theory makes no sense but it does apparently exist under a different name & is in fact a real thing.

The name of this company will only be revealed if they cross us or bother to recognize actual talent when it's staring them right in the face. Being a moron also doesn't encourage or inspire me to do you any favors.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Posting a Pic Publicly ISN'T an Open Invitation to "Holla" at Me, Asshole!

So, I'm involved in a social networking/review site where you have to post your real pic publicly to be involved in a special status there. I won't tell you the name of it for the sake of my own privacy but it's a special status that earns a bit of bragging rights in some circles.

Normally, I'm not harassed by people on the site though some apparently have met romantic prospects there. Before today, I'd never personally been harassed for that & certainly never at any in-person event as part of this special status.

That changed when this asshole whose user name was his telephone number decides to go comment on my picture then send me a message not based in proper grammar & in all caps. It wasn't something explicit like "I want to fuck you" but I was nonetheless offended.

What's wrong with this, you may ask?

A) I'm happily married & in NO WAY AT ALL fishing for men. I even have a back-up guy, for God's sake. If there's anyone who does not need a man propositioning her, it's me. For those women who might think this opens the door for them to proposition me, I'll wonder if my husband put you up to it since my straightness is pretty obvious.

B) My husband's not exactly kind towards men making compliments to me. He doesn't even like guys to check me out in public. He'd likely kill you or make you wish you were dead. If you managed to win? Then, we get to C.

C) I'LL fucking murder you if you even think of harming my spouse. You'll really find me sexy when I've cut off a testicle or your dick, won't you?

D) Generally speaking, I don't do orders from others & remember that saying about redheads being crazy & having tempers? There's some truth to it. I'm the type who'd poison you, murder you in your sleep & generally make your life Hell if you mess with me. Am I slightly sociopathic? Perhaps. I don't know. I do care more about animals than most people.

To sum up: it's in your best interest not to end up on the wrong side of a natural redhead. Bad things will happen & you will regret it.

You can pay a sincere compliment in the air of niceness & not trying to get in our private parts. We women like that sort of thing.

What we don't like is sloppily composed messages by men who have social media profiles that announce "I'm a horndog. Fuck me, baby!" If you're not a legit user someplace & your user name is your telephone number, you've given me that message.

The grammar thing is also a pet peeve of mine. Illiteracy isn't going to impress a lawyer, thanks.

To me, it's the same as getting whistled at or catcalled in real life. You're the type of guy I want to see get a horrific STD that will make his dick fall off or end up with some creepy chick who gives him what he deserves, which would be some permanent alterations.

This isn't even the first time I've gotten harassed because of my picture being available publicly. I once had a user on the online site where I met my husband proposition me. This guy was old enough to be my father & an attorney in Massachusetts. I pointed out that A) I was not available & said so in my profile, B) he was old enough to be my father, C) my father would kill him & D) I wasn't going to sleep with someone to get a career since I can get one on my own.

Yeah, you're not going to do anything different or interesting in approaching me in such a fashion since I've seen it before. All you will succeed at is pissing me off & making yourself a target for wrath. Do you really want to do that to yourself? I don't take kindly to it as a "joke" either; you'd certainly better not have entertainment aspirations if you do it.

Classy women aren't impressed with catcalls or the online equivalent. Save that for hookers & women with low self-esteem! Hookers are only in it for the money & women with low self-esteem will be more interested than those of us who are still getting competing offers even when we don't want them.

This should be yet another illustration of why I don't post my pics publicly when I can avoid it. I'm sure if I did it on LinkedIn I'd STILL have some cretin bothering me or telling me he masturbated to my pic or something.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Conspiracies to Deny Effective Participation & The Problem With Unions

When I get cards in the mail about my husband's latest union meeting & knowing where our community board meetings are held, I do ask myself that question.

First off, some facts about where I live in NYC. Queens, to be precise. There are parts of Queens that should just be annexed to the suburbs since as far as I'm concerned, you're in Nassau County if you live outside the MTA subway line. You may as well be Staten Island & everyone knows how NYC residents feel about Staten Island (most of us would like them to become their own little community already).

Some of these transit nightmare parts also exist in neighborhoods where the MTA subway line runs. A portion of these are in my local community & henceforth, I don't feel great loyalty there. Why would anyone want to be someplace where you get all the disadvantages of both the city and the suburbs? Plus, if I can get to a restaurant in Manhattan more easily, why would I get on a bus that only runs every 30 minutes or so to get to a restaurant in Queens (assuming everything with the restaurants is equal)?

I already have a number of reasons I prefer going to and dealing with things in Manhattan over Queens. I'm apparently not the only person noticing better sanitation grades in parts of Manhattan I can get to, better service on the whole in Manhattan or more convenience.

Our community board meetings & my husband's union meetings are both held in transit dead zones or places where transit is a total joke.

I can't help but wonder if the location of these meetings is deliberate so people won't attend & won't participate. Would YOU participate in a meeting you can't attend virtually & would have to drive to when you don't have a car or would have to leave your alternate side street parking spot to get there?!?!?!

Is this the case in other communities? I do feel like it's totally the case in mine. Do organizers in government, unions & elsewhere deliberately set up meetings in out of the way or inconvenient spots so the average person won't participate & therefore, little Hitlers can reign?

My husband's union reps should be glad I'm not part of it because I'd be in their faces all the time & demanding accountability. I hear about so much appalling behavior going on in my husband's workplace that would turn anyone against unions.

Are you curious? I'll give you some basic examples of problems I'm aware of. First off, the no-strike clause. The very first thing anyone associates with a union is the ability to strike!!! Being a union whose workers can't strike? If it were a person, it would be a man with no testicles (literally or figuratively).

Second, a number of his co-workers who have never had to worry about being laid off in the past few layoff rounds are STILL working there after being called for discipline multiple times, being kicked out of multiple branches after being bigoted to colleagues & members of the public (one person who was offended was a city council member).

Meanwhile, a number of people there (including my spouse) work their butts off, have gotten great reviews from co-workers & management but continue to get denied for promotions AND are put on the layoff list. Do you see anything wrong with this picture? One of these people was in fact laid off while all these deadweight scumbags got to keep their jobs.

I think the city needs a citizens' accountability group for taxpayers to reel in these wastes of public money by public officials & institutions. I haven't found a local one to exist; if it does, it's surely too wussy and passive to really do what I think a good group should be doing. We'd be front & center, bringing in the media & causing a huge ruckus if I was leading it.

Furthermore, if you want to encourage citizens to participate in unions or local government maybe you should have meeting locations that are accessible to everyone, not just your golden children.

Who wouldn't suspect something shady with putting your meetings in locations no one can get to easily?

Unions in particular ought to be shaping up as well if they want public support. Stop encouraging loafing & laziness in your ranks. Get rid of the dead weight, the people who don't want to be there and the utter assholes! Jobs aren't a fucking right or an entitlement, damn it! You EARN them!!! Maybe instead of covering up for these types, they should be gone so competent people who actually do their jobs well could get promotions instead of layoffs favoring the lazy assholes.

Do I sound bitter? Maybe, but consider how you'd feel if it were your loved one losing all passion for his/her job due to this kind of bullshit. When the only way you can move upward is by sucking the right dick & you have to commit a felony before you can be fired from a job you're stinking at, you might feel better about some private businesses.

This is not to say there's no BS in private business but it seems like they have more incentives to get rid of under-performing or abusive assholes. Racists managers are a PR nightmare in a for profit company; so are sexual predators, thieves & lazy jerks. A poorly run private company will eventually go out of business. I as a consumer will certainly not support one if I hear or see that they're harboring incompetents. I would certainly get rid of incompetents in my own company in a second & I know my partners would never expect any one of us to suffer abuse, laziness or actions that would ruin our business reputation if made known to the general public. Being my friend or relative means nothing. If you aren't hacking it, you're gone.

My personal solution is somehow creating a union that considers + rewards/punishes actual work performance instead of just seniority. Even a system to clear out the dead weight quickly so those people sitting at home unemployed who'd do twice the work for half the pay could get a shot to succeed instead of some entitled, bloated lump. Yeah, I'm not a fan of tenure or teacher's unions either.

Final thought: not everyone can be the boss. If you can't be impartial, deliver the facts in a concise way & treat people with respect, then you've got no business managing anyone. I say this having fired & interviewed people. Wusses need not bother working in management.

There's a lot more to it & certainly to business ownership but I view the presence of incompetents as a malignant tumor to a business. They should be doing something they want to do & given real training for it but if after all that, they're still screwing up the answer isn't to let them get disciplinary records longer than the entire city subway line while continuing to pay them a salary & laying off competent workers with "less seniority."

Friday, February 3, 2012

Some Self-Promotion..Rants Coming Soon

One of my posts is now on The Girl's Guide to Law School blog. Go check it out here.

And I will definitely have some video rants to do...for one thing, I can't stand the sheer number of people lately who seem to be okay with getting all up in a woman's private business when it comes to reproductive matters.

If you don't like abortion, then don't get one.

But don't tell me what to do about my own household. Don't tell me to die if I get pregnant (as I've had a tubal it would be a tubal pregnancy, meaning zero chance of survival for mother or fetus) because of YOUR religion's tenants. Guess what? Not everyone practices YOUR faith or cares about YOUR interpretation of YOUR God's will.

The arrogance I've seen lately makes me just want to murder some folk. I also wonder what they'd say if it was THEIR mother, sister, child, or other female friend or loved one who was the victim of a rape or incest. What if that female person was in no condition to care for a child? Is it more humane for that child to be born into a drug den or to live with an alcoholic? Should that child be thought of as a mistake & raised by some jerk who will eventually let it slip that they weren't wanted?

Now to do some more boring stuff, though at least I have things to occupy my time.