Recently, my car was broken into. Not a comedic event & I'm still pissed about it. I also know for a fact my car was locked when I moved it the day before. However, some of the dust has settled so a few things to consider if it's happened to you:
1. At least it wasn't my house. My family is safe, nothing in my home was taken. Plus, if you don't have it, get renter's insurance. Too many people have shared too many stories with me about their property getting damaged b/c a landlord didn't fix a problem that you'd be a fool not to get it. Yeah, it costs money but it's definitely peace of mind.
2. There was literally nothing of much monetary value in the car. The thief or thieves ran off with a freezer bag we got from my in-laws for free, men's sunglasses from the dollar store and my book of CDs.
How many articles have we read stating that CD is a dying medium, if it's not already dead? I'm also very much pro-downloading as a form of civil disobedience against scum like the RIAA who went around suing college kids, old ladies and that one woman for millions of dollars for 30 songs by artists who make well over 7 figures per year. We all know record companies have been screwing artists over for decades & that artists make their real money by touring, merchandising and nearly anything but the CD.
I don't believe in screwing over indie companies & those who don't make trillions a year but guess what? If you're making enough money a month or even in a year to singlehandedly solve the US debt crisis, I'm not concerned with your money problems & will not allow you to extort me with demands to pay for the SAME FUCKING CONTENT I ALREADY OWN ON CD so I can have it on my computer. Taking all the hard drugs you can get your hands on won't change that basic reality. If I start to forget this later, you're free to remind me of it.
3. NOTHING else was taken. Not pennies, tools, not even a Twizzler I had in there for traveling in the mornings to do grocery shopping (sometimes, you need something to keep from getting sick so you're not forced to eat lunch out somewhere). I kept thinking more was taken like our jumper cables but after a final check by my more calm husband, we got our final tally of loss.
I swear, no one wants me to be their cop or in the military. I have way too much of a temper and I'd end up taking matters into my own hands. If I found the guilty prick, I'd likely kill the person. He'd be without balls along with a lack of a woman (my sunglasses were still there so I have to presume this guy didn't have a lady to impress or is a jerk who'd not think of her in his little thieving games). Yeah, I also really don't like people fucking with me & don't react kindly to it.
Let's just say I lack emotional restraint in certain kinds of situations; I think my own family's probably still in shock I didn't ruin my sister's wedding in light of my ex-friend's behavior. I consider it different since I love my sister. Strangers being jerks is a whole other category; people who start shit with me & mine are most definitely in a different category. Even in retail or customer service jobs, I found my ways to get revenge on people who were rude or nasty to me. The comment I made to the lower rung crew person at the last extra gig I did is a classic example. I've use tone of voice & other subtleties to make it clear that I don't respond well to disrespect (that is, if my general vibe doesn't give that away); you can read a few examples here, in fact. Women are good with subtlety, especially those having to deal with snobby types.
Despite this, I still wonder whether it's a joke on us or a joke on the pathetic thief/thieves. Can you imagine trying to pawn that stuff? I think most people would laugh at you.
Hey, if you're going to do something, do it right. Be GOOD at it, okay? Break into a nicer car. Go after someone who's got money. Pick a better neighborhood. Case the joint. Spy on people. Learn your target's movements.
Just reminded me of this guy I knew when I was in middle school. My sister was close friends w/his sister. I actually had a small crush on him.
He also dubbed me and my sister "Big Red" and "Little Red" because of our hair & height differences.
Oh, and he had a rather distinct look. If you saw this guy coming, you'd definitely peg him as a hoodlum (I think my mother actually called him one) & you'd never forget what he looked like.
Seems he decided to rob a store in our area (I believe a jewelry store) and didn't bother wearing a disguise or changing his look to do it. He ended up on the local Crimestoppers segment & immediately got caught since a neighbor who lived 2 trailers down from him turned him in.
After he got caught, my mom thought he was stupid for going to commit his robbery looking the same as he did in our neighborhood. I agreed even then. Goes to show that if you want to break the law & not get arrested or lose out on it, you have to do it right. That took the wind out of that crush; I think it was because I had no desire to stay where I was or become a criminal but maybe also because I figured the guy for me had to be at least as smart as me.
As for having a crush on this guy, I had a LOT of crushes on guys from late elementary school to college (this phase ended after I was getting asked out & guys were being nice to me without there being a prank or hidden agenda involved). I'd usually have one consistent crush on a guy and then have these little periods of crushes on other guys simultaneously. To give you some perspective on this, I was having crushes on guys left & right but never thought that way about females. Nope, not even once. I think that's a pretty big clue of my straightness.
I was WAY too shy & insecure to bother pursuing any of my crushes. Plus I had my strict mother + super protective father who'd put the fear of God into you. Let's also not forget my tormented childhood & how badly I wanted to get the hell out of my hometown. That profoundly distanced me from people.
I wonder sometimes if my life would have been different if I'd had the courage to pursue this stuff but if I'd actually done anything sexual, I think it would have just fucked me up more since I definitely wasn't ready until I decided to lose my virginity when I did (in college & when I was over 18). Such a 180 from my college persona, I know. That's what living in a religious household & in the South will do to you. Warps your views on sex and makes you feel you have to be dishonest about it.
At the end of the day though, I still believe that whatever you do in life you should have enough sense to do it right. If you're going to be a criminal, be the best one you can be. Otherwise, what's the point?
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Mourning Strangers and Ditching Your Mate for Fatness
Something I've never been able to understand is people who mourn the deaths of celebrities. Case in point: Amy Winehouse.
First off, read my whole point about not canonizing stupid people & self-destructive folk. That's one huge reason I didn't write some kind of self-aggrandizing "tribute" or message of sadness on my social media pages about Amy Winehouse.
Second, I don't mourn famous people unless I know them personally. As in, I know they're a truly awesome person who'd give me the time of day & not dismiss me or view me as one of "the little people." If I've witnessed you in person & didn't see you acting like a prick for no reason or someone I know and trust had a personal experience w/you & says you're cool, I have slightly less contempt for you. Let's say you've moved from 100% to 75%. To get that number lower means you'll have to work to win me over. Say taking an interest in my life, talking to me, making me feel like you'd give a damn if I died. Give me motivation to mourn your death. Otherwise, my tears and my grief are precious commodities.
I've lost too many real people in my life to have emotional outpourings for total strangers who'd have likely proven every negative emotion I have about celebrities, people with money, whatever.
If I didn't meet you, that's your loss & I'm still not mourning you. Maybe I'll meet you in the afterlife & you won't be a prick. Your being famous doesn't make your life any more important than my late niece's, for instance. Anyone who believes that basic premise is false is a total prick I wouldn't shed a single tear for. I might even celebrate the death of a jerk like that.
This isn't to say that some moron or celeb dying isn't unfortunate or sad for their families. Again, I've lost people who had a connection in my life. My late brother in law's death has probably been one of the biggest motivators I've had to pursue my career in entertainment and look past the law school rat race/superficiality. When you see one of your relatives struck down so young at random and with no foreseeability involved, the phrase "life is too short" takes on a much stronger meaning.
What I won't do, and what you should not expect me to do, is to have some loud emotional outpouring or shed tears for celebrities who meant nothing to me and had no connection to my life. I'm not going to mourn or share in a grief I have no business inserting myself into. That's really what it is, when you think about it for a moment: you're trying to shove yourself into the place of someone's family & friends when you do all this "mourning" nonsense. Who doesn't find it a bit tacky? There's saying "it's sad" and there's the full on melodrama that you see people engaging in.
And if I died and got fans all over the world? I would NOT want fans who didn't know me showing up at a funeral for my family & friends. You know, people who actually knew me & cared enough about me to show up. If I made an impact, that's great but don't act like a stalker by trying to create a fake friendship/relationship with me. Don't intrude on my loved ones!
Have a separate event. Better yet, celebrate my life & use it to improve yours. I'd be happiest if I influenced someone to do what made them happy instead of worrying about what everyone else thought of them. I'd be thrilled if it led to true social change and more people became fearless & called things as they saw them.
Perhaps I'm too honest for my own good at times. I don't believe in glossing over the realities of someone. If the deceased was an asshole, it's perfectly okay to acknowledge that in my book. I feel like you're a liar if you don't. As far as I'm concerned, having an illness or dying doesn't make you a saint. It just makes you sick or dead. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. I wouldn't want to be canonized when I'm dead; I know I'm not perfect.
Speaking of people who aren't perfect, the people who'd dump a mate for gaining weight certainly aren't. Apparently, it's a large number.
The comments on this story are quite interesting as well with many men claiming that women are using "bait & switch" in being thin when they meet a man, marrying him and then gaining weight.
I can tell these morons have never experienced true love. They've not had a real situation happen to them or anyone else. If you would ditch a spouse or someone you supposedly love over weight gain, then you're a liar and a total idiot who will die alone.
One interesting point is that some of these people who commented make no exception for if the woman had the man's children. I find it arrogant and incredible that men want to make demands for large families and essentially demand women to give up their figures, health, careers and sex appeal to pop out their "pwecious baybeez."
As far as I'm concerned, until that man can pop out those babies himself he needs to keep his damn mouth shut and has nothing to say about any woman's weight gain. That arrogance pisses me off & I'm thankful to have my spouse more and more after seeing guys who act like that on TV and online. If I met one in person, could you imagine the verbal beating he'd get from me? I'm sure some of you might pay to watch that confrontation.
It also pisses me off that the average American seems to be a-okay with men making this type of demand on women then just dumping her for gaining weight, all because she had those kids in the first place.
Another great point for these mental midgets: everyone who doesn't die by a certain age eventually gets old. Unless you've got money for plastic surgery, personal trainers, etc., you're not going to look like Cher when you hit your 50s+. Chances are, even if you did, you STILL wouldn't look like Cher. Aging also happens to everyone, even famous people. I'm sure if you spoke to some, they'd point to things that happened because of aging.
So old graying flaccid men, you're most likely not going to find women who want your ugly behind any more than the old graying flaccid women. Maybe you could hire a hooker or get a sugar baby but they're just about the money. You're deluded if you think they'd give a damn about you. Why should they? Leaving someone for gaining weight proves that you're a shallow piece of trash who fancies himself/herself as a demigod.
What would you do if your mate got into an accident, had cancer or anything else that altered their appearance in some way? Part of sex appeal comes from personality along with how you feel about someone & how they make you feel about yourself. If someone makes you feel like the most beautiful person on Earth, it doesn't matter how they look. That's love. Leaving someone because of cosmetic changes proves that the person meant nothing to you & you're just a liar.
In the case of my husband, he asked me to shoot him if he becomes massively obese. This, however, is because he says HE'D feel bad about himself and like a drain on society. I would not love him less for his looks but because he would be a different person if he were accepting it and not doing something about it. I would know it ran counter to who he was.
It may sound contradictory but I don't think it is. This is not "he gained weight so I'm trading him in for a skinnier model." This is "he's become the very thing he said he never wanted to be." It would be similar in my mind to him becoming an alcoholic or an addict; he knows that's a deal-breaker for me since I lived it. I would never expect him to put up with alcoholism or addiction from me either since I had to live it as a child stuck in that household.
This study makes it sound more like "I'm trading up" than "The person became something (s)he told me (s)he didn't want to be & it made the person 180."
As for any "slacking off" by me since getting married, I wouldn't say any of my habits have really changed. If anything, I lost weight by moving to NYC even though I don't do nearly as much walking as I would if I had a 9-5 job someplace. My diet's probably healthier since there are things I simply don't eat since they mess me up & I'd rather not experience it. For one, I like my own cooking better.
Some of the people commenting also put the person doing exercise as a be all, end all requirement that the person MUST do to stay in their house.
Let me tell you, imposing an exercise requirement on someone who can fit into a size 0 in some brands is completely stupid! I'd end up with no boobs and probably having to buy children's clothing (I happen to like my boobs just fine, thank you). Not to mention it'd bring out more parental, in-law and general societal concern that I'm too skinny. My acting resume doesn't list "inability to gain weight" for no reason, you know?
I hope these shallow motherfuckers get a nice kick in the butt from life. Dying alone, wishing they had someone who cared about them, whatever. You know conduct like that is inviting life's torment. I say if you find true love, don't throw it away. It would be like tossing a lottery ticket worth millions of dollars. Who's that dumb?
First off, read my whole point about not canonizing stupid people & self-destructive folk. That's one huge reason I didn't write some kind of self-aggrandizing "tribute" or message of sadness on my social media pages about Amy Winehouse.
Second, I don't mourn famous people unless I know them personally. As in, I know they're a truly awesome person who'd give me the time of day & not dismiss me or view me as one of "the little people." If I've witnessed you in person & didn't see you acting like a prick for no reason or someone I know and trust had a personal experience w/you & says you're cool, I have slightly less contempt for you. Let's say you've moved from 100% to 75%. To get that number lower means you'll have to work to win me over. Say taking an interest in my life, talking to me, making me feel like you'd give a damn if I died. Give me motivation to mourn your death. Otherwise, my tears and my grief are precious commodities.
I've lost too many real people in my life to have emotional outpourings for total strangers who'd have likely proven every negative emotion I have about celebrities, people with money, whatever.
If I didn't meet you, that's your loss & I'm still not mourning you. Maybe I'll meet you in the afterlife & you won't be a prick. Your being famous doesn't make your life any more important than my late niece's, for instance. Anyone who believes that basic premise is false is a total prick I wouldn't shed a single tear for. I might even celebrate the death of a jerk like that.
This isn't to say that some moron or celeb dying isn't unfortunate or sad for their families. Again, I've lost people who had a connection in my life. My late brother in law's death has probably been one of the biggest motivators I've had to pursue my career in entertainment and look past the law school rat race/superficiality. When you see one of your relatives struck down so young at random and with no foreseeability involved, the phrase "life is too short" takes on a much stronger meaning.
What I won't do, and what you should not expect me to do, is to have some loud emotional outpouring or shed tears for celebrities who meant nothing to me and had no connection to my life. I'm not going to mourn or share in a grief I have no business inserting myself into. That's really what it is, when you think about it for a moment: you're trying to shove yourself into the place of someone's family & friends when you do all this "mourning" nonsense. Who doesn't find it a bit tacky? There's saying "it's sad" and there's the full on melodrama that you see people engaging in.
And if I died and got fans all over the world? I would NOT want fans who didn't know me showing up at a funeral for my family & friends. You know, people who actually knew me & cared enough about me to show up. If I made an impact, that's great but don't act like a stalker by trying to create a fake friendship/relationship with me. Don't intrude on my loved ones!
Have a separate event. Better yet, celebrate my life & use it to improve yours. I'd be happiest if I influenced someone to do what made them happy instead of worrying about what everyone else thought of them. I'd be thrilled if it led to true social change and more people became fearless & called things as they saw them.
Perhaps I'm too honest for my own good at times. I don't believe in glossing over the realities of someone. If the deceased was an asshole, it's perfectly okay to acknowledge that in my book. I feel like you're a liar if you don't. As far as I'm concerned, having an illness or dying doesn't make you a saint. It just makes you sick or dead. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. I wouldn't want to be canonized when I'm dead; I know I'm not perfect.
Speaking of people who aren't perfect, the people who'd dump a mate for gaining weight certainly aren't. Apparently, it's a large number.
The comments on this story are quite interesting as well with many men claiming that women are using "bait & switch" in being thin when they meet a man, marrying him and then gaining weight.
I can tell these morons have never experienced true love. They've not had a real situation happen to them or anyone else. If you would ditch a spouse or someone you supposedly love over weight gain, then you're a liar and a total idiot who will die alone.
One interesting point is that some of these people who commented make no exception for if the woman had the man's children. I find it arrogant and incredible that men want to make demands for large families and essentially demand women to give up their figures, health, careers and sex appeal to pop out their "pwecious baybeez."
As far as I'm concerned, until that man can pop out those babies himself he needs to keep his damn mouth shut and has nothing to say about any woman's weight gain. That arrogance pisses me off & I'm thankful to have my spouse more and more after seeing guys who act like that on TV and online. If I met one in person, could you imagine the verbal beating he'd get from me? I'm sure some of you might pay to watch that confrontation.
It also pisses me off that the average American seems to be a-okay with men making this type of demand on women then just dumping her for gaining weight, all because she had those kids in the first place.
Another great point for these mental midgets: everyone who doesn't die by a certain age eventually gets old. Unless you've got money for plastic surgery, personal trainers, etc., you're not going to look like Cher when you hit your 50s+. Chances are, even if you did, you STILL wouldn't look like Cher. Aging also happens to everyone, even famous people. I'm sure if you spoke to some, they'd point to things that happened because of aging.
So old graying flaccid men, you're most likely not going to find women who want your ugly behind any more than the old graying flaccid women. Maybe you could hire a hooker or get a sugar baby but they're just about the money. You're deluded if you think they'd give a damn about you. Why should they? Leaving someone for gaining weight proves that you're a shallow piece of trash who fancies himself/herself as a demigod.
What would you do if your mate got into an accident, had cancer or anything else that altered their appearance in some way? Part of sex appeal comes from personality along with how you feel about someone & how they make you feel about yourself. If someone makes you feel like the most beautiful person on Earth, it doesn't matter how they look. That's love. Leaving someone because of cosmetic changes proves that the person meant nothing to you & you're just a liar.
In the case of my husband, he asked me to shoot him if he becomes massively obese. This, however, is because he says HE'D feel bad about himself and like a drain on society. I would not love him less for his looks but because he would be a different person if he were accepting it and not doing something about it. I would know it ran counter to who he was.
It may sound contradictory but I don't think it is. This is not "he gained weight so I'm trading him in for a skinnier model." This is "he's become the very thing he said he never wanted to be." It would be similar in my mind to him becoming an alcoholic or an addict; he knows that's a deal-breaker for me since I lived it. I would never expect him to put up with alcoholism or addiction from me either since I had to live it as a child stuck in that household.
This study makes it sound more like "I'm trading up" than "The person became something (s)he told me (s)he didn't want to be & it made the person 180."
As for any "slacking off" by me since getting married, I wouldn't say any of my habits have really changed. If anything, I lost weight by moving to NYC even though I don't do nearly as much walking as I would if I had a 9-5 job someplace. My diet's probably healthier since there are things I simply don't eat since they mess me up & I'd rather not experience it. For one, I like my own cooking better.
Some of the people commenting also put the person doing exercise as a be all, end all requirement that the person MUST do to stay in their house.
Let me tell you, imposing an exercise requirement on someone who can fit into a size 0 in some brands is completely stupid! I'd end up with no boobs and probably having to buy children's clothing (I happen to like my boobs just fine, thank you). Not to mention it'd bring out more parental, in-law and general societal concern that I'm too skinny. My acting resume doesn't list "inability to gain weight" for no reason, you know?
I hope these shallow motherfuckers get a nice kick in the butt from life. Dying alone, wishing they had someone who cared about them, whatever. You know conduct like that is inviting life's torment. I say if you find true love, don't throw it away. It would be like tossing a lottery ticket worth millions of dollars. Who's that dumb?
Saturday, July 23, 2011
General Musings Part 24 & Why Getting Laid Might Solve Some Problems
You ever notice how when you don't have a common necessity you wouldn't normally think much about, you tend to fixate on it and it suddenly becomes the most important thing ever? That's how I'm feeling about not having hot water right now. I'm thinking about the fact that I need to take a shower & can't do it with cold water.
I HAD to take a cold shower once in college when our sorority dorm lost hot water. It's not an experience I'm going to repeat considering it was horrible (you have to think very hot thoughts if you hope to survive it). Now I actually can't take hot showers b/c, as my husband puts it, my skin hates me but I have to have some sliver of warmth.
Not that I take having hot water for granted: I don't. I don't take having most things for granted since I vividly remember not having them & what that's like. I lived through car repossession, power outages, my father's having a beeping device attached to our phone when he was on house arrest, not having a telephone, etc. This was all due to not having money to pay for this stuff. I'm sure it's made me a stickler for not wasting things & keeping stuff until it's literally falling apart. Getting me to upgrade something that's not falling apart is like pulling teeth & you probably won't win that argument.
Anyhow, now for some mini-rants:
Speaking of frugality, I think some of this list is total garbage. Here's why:
On #1, not all computer screens are as big as TV screens. As some people commented later pointed out, you can't have a Super Bowl party without a big TV screen to watch it on. Sames goes for Pay Per View events.
On #2, my mother absolutely will not let me live somewhere without a land line. She told me this years ago when I moved to CT to attend law school. This is because cell phone reception can get stinky. In some areas, you get nothing. My mom now lives out in the country & I'm sure with some cell providers, you don't get anywhere near the clarity you get of a land line.
Second, no way in Hell am I giving out a cell number to certain people. I don't want phone calls from solicitors, bill collectors and other annoying, abusive jerks I have no interest in dealing with. I also work in an industry where if that kind of thing were public record, you'd get harassed all the time by gate crashers asking you to read scripts, put them in film/TV, represent them, or whatever it was you were known for. No, thank you! Even someone's assistant doesn't need that headache.
I have to disagree w/#3 & #4 as well since I think that's premature at the moment. Blu-Ray is not the standard, you have to pay a bunch of money to get the proper TV for it & DVDs are still being made. The Blu-Ray to DVD comparison is also nothing compared to the DVD to VHS quality comparison. I'd be an idiot to waste money on it.
I'm also not getting rid of my physical media. You never know when you might have problems with your computer, ITunes, etc. When that happens, you could easily lose everything. The retailers might be okay with you having to pay a ton of money for the same thing but I as a consumer am not. I like the physical product in my hand that I can watch when I want to and not when a company decides I can access it. I take care of my physical products so I know I'm not going to be causing it to mess up where I have to replace it a hundred times.
When Blu-Ray is the standard, comes down dramatically in cost (both for any special TVs and the discs themselves) and there's some better quality, it might be worth it but until then, I'm not upgrading. I'm also just not parting with physical media because unless you're very good at backing things up, you're screwed if you lose it. Plus, you can't travel with it unless you spend a ton of money for a device where you can (like a smartphone; even iPods are close to $200, which I find too pricey).
I kind of agree with #5 & #6. We debated on #6. But instead of paying for watching programs, you could just download them for free illegally. Not that I'm telling you to do it: I'm just saying you CAN do it. Not everything is on Netflix or Hulu. I know I won't find older shows that I like, hence my getting them on DVD or having taped them years ago when they were played & keeping my tapes.
Finally, I really disagree with #7. We're just now getting the legal field to catch up with modern technology such as requiring e-filing for cases. I also don't do text or instant messaging these days. Most businesses I know of opt for the conference call. Plus, I find e-mail useful to have a record of what someone said without having to keep a bunch of paper around or save every single IM or text conversation you send to someone. Most people don't save them or they'd trash them right away. In terms of the business world, I really disagree with this one.
It's also much, MUCH cheaper to apply for jobs or send correspondence through e-mail vs. snail mail. Unless you know someone, I don't think I'd use texting or Facebook to send a resume. Even with LinkedIn, you'd just send an e-mail attachment to an individual you corresponded with or apply for a job ad like on most job search sites. Not something you can find on Facebook and with the security breaches, would you really want to? You also need e-mail to use most job search websites since it's required in registration or responding to ads.
Glad to see many of the comments also agree with much of this.
This is absolutely disgusting and just one more reason to hate Chase bank. If this bank were truly sorry, they'd be paying this guy a bunch of money to get his life in order. They'd be sending a statement to the background checking/credit checking companies to clarify the situation to keep him from having to explain the incarceration and so forth. They'd also go lobby Congress to change current law in order to make it easier for people in that situation. One more reason I'll never bank there & for the anti-big bank crowd to convince people to stick to credit unions/local banks.
This just pisses me off like you don't believe. Maybe if you morons made sure the machines were working properly every hour the store is open, you wouldn't have some of the problems. Also I think these people should try SHOPPING in these stores sometime undercover, where checkers and staff will think they are the average consumer. I could name a number of times when Stop & Shop's scanner saved the day.
Try waiting in long lines when you're buying less than 10 items & the express line isn't open. Or getting a few items when you've got assholes with enough food to feed Ethiopia for the next decade are in the self bagging lane. I've seen this in Long Island and if I worked there, I'd tell people to get the hell out of the line & institute an item limit. I think some of these even have item limits while these jerks violate it with no repercussions. Try dealing with the slow people who have nothing better to do than meander around! Finally, see the customer service you get. I've seen very little customer service at these stores that truly impressed me and made me feel I was getting a personal touch. Normally, you feel like these people could care less about the customer. You can tell they aren't getting paid much & don't have pride in the job. I'll say it again: if you don't like your paycheck, don't take it out on the general public. Go find another job, get more education or shut up & change your attitude! No one wants to hear about it & the public didn't set your salary. Take that gripe to your manager, not me.
Having a job is not a right or an entitlement. If you can't do yours, you deserve to be replaced. If your position is obsolete, it's time to get with the times and deal with it. You could always do other things. For instance, they'll never outsource hairdressing or nail work. People will always be shallow & want to look good. I don't think societal pressure on women to look good will fade anytime soon. Find your own examples.
Now, for one more reason I refuse to live someplace with a homeowner's association of any sort. I hate the concept of co-op boards and condominium boards for pretty much these exact reasons. I also don't like the racism and classism they disguise as "image reasons." Nor do I think they should get the legal power that they get under state law. You can read appalling stories about the antics of some boards in NYC. That's totally scared me off from dealing with it. I believe that if you have the money to pay for it, you should live wherever you want. THAT should be it. I'm not going to live someplace where I have to impress some board by being someone I'm not & then get rejected because some jack hole didn't like my shoes or my husband. Oh, and legally you know the board doesn't have to impress YOU right? More reason for me not to consider buying there.
However, if you find me a board of people who think like me (say those frat looking guys who were the board at one place I heard about or some people who don't insist on only living amongst Stepford wives) then it might work out. Otherwise, I want to be left alone and not obligated to grovel for someone else's approval. I don't have enough experience on this to know for sure but I'm definitely skeptical about this being one of those situations where there's a match for everyone.
Reading this makes me happy with human nature. I'm glad to see that most people thought this guy was full of crap.
How about we agree that those who think video games should be put away at an arbitrary age are people that really need to get laid more often? If they had satisfying sex lives, maybe they would not be going on television to discuss stupid things like this. They might get those sticks out from up their butts and become rational human beings who focus on their own lives instead of the fundamentalist harpies we have now. I also think that anyone who thinks there's such an age when you're "too old" for video games is someone who is mentally 200 years old. Thank God my parents don't have that mentality! I could see them still being somewhat hip at 90, especially my dad. My mom would probably be dressed up and taking her walker to go trick or treating on Halloween.
So, lastly I saw this article. I'm a woman as well as a feminist: I found this funny. Do not lump all the whiny crybabies who complained about this one as "angry feminists." They most definitely don't represent me & maybe I don't quite fit "angry feminist" but I am both these things separately....
I think if these whining crybabies like this Rebecca Cullers who want to erode all humor out of the world by living in denial of basic truths actually got laid once in a while, they might get a sense of humor. I liken these people to the types who'll look for anything different or unique & get offended by it just because they are jealous harpies who couldn't come up with an original idea if it walked up and bit them on the butt. Personally, I like the old saying "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke." There are women who aren't suffering from PMS or having that time of the month who are like this all the time; what's their excuse?
Know what pisses ME off??? Bitchy females (for that matter, anyone in particular) who want to erode all the joy, fun and charm of the world. These are the same women who play fashion police because they are too old or fat to wear things & instead of improving THEMSELVES or being proud of who THEY are, they have to go drag everyone else down to THEIR level. You ever notice that women who have self-confidence and know they are awesome don't do this stuff? If I already know who I am and that I'm a person of worth, I don't have to tear down others to prop myself up. It's wasted energy.
You'll notice all the representatives who want to do away with women's rights are old white men. You don't see young men doing this unless perhaps they're a clone of Alex Keaton from Family Ties.
Women doing these sorts of things really piss me off since I'm female and that makes me look bad by association. I sure don't want my husband thinking I'm also a joyless harpy. If I were, he certainly wouldn't have married me.
So why do I think people (that is, those over 18 who are not being supported by their parents) should get laid more? There are very good reasons.
First off, religion preaches against it constantly. You rarely hear about ministers telling people to have sex & the ones who tell married couples to do it still make headlines. You'll notice many of our maladjusted folk are the ones who had to deal with the drumbeat of religion & follow it to a hyper-fanatical degree. My experience in a religious household probably helps here as well. Know how many "cool" teachers I had in private school, where you'd feel you could come to them with problems? I rest my case.
Second, sex is relaxing & tends to mellow folk out. Everyone I know that ever said "So & So needs to get laid." meant it as "So & So is pissing me off/a killjoy/annoying everyone all the time as a personality trait." I never actually heard of an authority figure saying sex was good until I went to college. As a freshman, one of my classmates talked about a professor who encouraged her students to have sex. We were also told about how the threat of pregnancy (as in the possibility of it happening during a given sexual encounter) really wasn't as bad as we'd been scared with as middle & high school kids. College professors were also much cooler as a whole. I also grew up in NC so perhaps that's a factor.
Third, people with sex lives tend to consider them a priority. If you're too busy having sex, you won't bother people on other matters. You tend to not worry about who your neighbor sleeps with or what your co-worker does at home.
Maybe we should also slip some pot brownies to religious lunatics so they'll lighten up. Then, they might focus on getting high instead of closing down Planned Parenthood or getting offended by what they saw on "the TV."
Teens generally don't suffer from this problem so most of them don't need to get laid. Some will do it anyway so I'm all for teaching actual sex ed & making contraception available to them. I didn't but largely because I didn't want to be stuck in NC and because no one I went to school with understood the term discretion. Better not to have to worry about if such personal details like what your private parts look like become fodder for gossip. In my case, I know it would have been a problem with all the notoriety I had. Social pressure made it easy for me to abstain. Not sure about other teens, though.
I still contend that if more adults got laid more often, we might have fewer problems in this country. There should be a "mind your own business" law when it comes to things like consensual sex, abortion, voluntary sterilization, marriage, etc. Things where only YOU have to deal with the consequences vs. society or non-consenting participants like kids or rape victims. Morality shouldn't be legislated. End of story.
I HAD to take a cold shower once in college when our sorority dorm lost hot water. It's not an experience I'm going to repeat considering it was horrible (you have to think very hot thoughts if you hope to survive it). Now I actually can't take hot showers b/c, as my husband puts it, my skin hates me but I have to have some sliver of warmth.
Not that I take having hot water for granted: I don't. I don't take having most things for granted since I vividly remember not having them & what that's like. I lived through car repossession, power outages, my father's having a beeping device attached to our phone when he was on house arrest, not having a telephone, etc. This was all due to not having money to pay for this stuff. I'm sure it's made me a stickler for not wasting things & keeping stuff until it's literally falling apart. Getting me to upgrade something that's not falling apart is like pulling teeth & you probably won't win that argument.
Anyhow, now for some mini-rants:
Speaking of frugality, I think some of this list is total garbage. Here's why:
On #1, not all computer screens are as big as TV screens. As some people commented later pointed out, you can't have a Super Bowl party without a big TV screen to watch it on. Sames goes for Pay Per View events.
On #2, my mother absolutely will not let me live somewhere without a land line. She told me this years ago when I moved to CT to attend law school. This is because cell phone reception can get stinky. In some areas, you get nothing. My mom now lives out in the country & I'm sure with some cell providers, you don't get anywhere near the clarity you get of a land line.
Second, no way in Hell am I giving out a cell number to certain people. I don't want phone calls from solicitors, bill collectors and other annoying, abusive jerks I have no interest in dealing with. I also work in an industry where if that kind of thing were public record, you'd get harassed all the time by gate crashers asking you to read scripts, put them in film/TV, represent them, or whatever it was you were known for. No, thank you! Even someone's assistant doesn't need that headache.
I have to disagree w/#3 & #4 as well since I think that's premature at the moment. Blu-Ray is not the standard, you have to pay a bunch of money to get the proper TV for it & DVDs are still being made. The Blu-Ray to DVD comparison is also nothing compared to the DVD to VHS quality comparison. I'd be an idiot to waste money on it.
I'm also not getting rid of my physical media. You never know when you might have problems with your computer, ITunes, etc. When that happens, you could easily lose everything. The retailers might be okay with you having to pay a ton of money for the same thing but I as a consumer am not. I like the physical product in my hand that I can watch when I want to and not when a company decides I can access it. I take care of my physical products so I know I'm not going to be causing it to mess up where I have to replace it a hundred times.
When Blu-Ray is the standard, comes down dramatically in cost (both for any special TVs and the discs themselves) and there's some better quality, it might be worth it but until then, I'm not upgrading. I'm also just not parting with physical media because unless you're very good at backing things up, you're screwed if you lose it. Plus, you can't travel with it unless you spend a ton of money for a device where you can (like a smartphone; even iPods are close to $200, which I find too pricey).
I kind of agree with #5 & #6. We debated on #6. But instead of paying for watching programs, you could just download them for free illegally. Not that I'm telling you to do it: I'm just saying you CAN do it. Not everything is on Netflix or Hulu. I know I won't find older shows that I like, hence my getting them on DVD or having taped them years ago when they were played & keeping my tapes.
Finally, I really disagree with #7. We're just now getting the legal field to catch up with modern technology such as requiring e-filing for cases. I also don't do text or instant messaging these days. Most businesses I know of opt for the conference call. Plus, I find e-mail useful to have a record of what someone said without having to keep a bunch of paper around or save every single IM or text conversation you send to someone. Most people don't save them or they'd trash them right away. In terms of the business world, I really disagree with this one.
It's also much, MUCH cheaper to apply for jobs or send correspondence through e-mail vs. snail mail. Unless you know someone, I don't think I'd use texting or Facebook to send a resume. Even with LinkedIn, you'd just send an e-mail attachment to an individual you corresponded with or apply for a job ad like on most job search sites. Not something you can find on Facebook and with the security breaches, would you really want to? You also need e-mail to use most job search websites since it's required in registration or responding to ads.
Glad to see many of the comments also agree with much of this.
This is absolutely disgusting and just one more reason to hate Chase bank. If this bank were truly sorry, they'd be paying this guy a bunch of money to get his life in order. They'd be sending a statement to the background checking/credit checking companies to clarify the situation to keep him from having to explain the incarceration and so forth. They'd also go lobby Congress to change current law in order to make it easier for people in that situation. One more reason I'll never bank there & for the anti-big bank crowd to convince people to stick to credit unions/local banks.
This just pisses me off like you don't believe. Maybe if you morons made sure the machines were working properly every hour the store is open, you wouldn't have some of the problems. Also I think these people should try SHOPPING in these stores sometime undercover, where checkers and staff will think they are the average consumer. I could name a number of times when Stop & Shop's scanner saved the day.
Try waiting in long lines when you're buying less than 10 items & the express line isn't open. Or getting a few items when you've got assholes with enough food to feed Ethiopia for the next decade are in the self bagging lane. I've seen this in Long Island and if I worked there, I'd tell people to get the hell out of the line & institute an item limit. I think some of these even have item limits while these jerks violate it with no repercussions. Try dealing with the slow people who have nothing better to do than meander around! Finally, see the customer service you get. I've seen very little customer service at these stores that truly impressed me and made me feel I was getting a personal touch. Normally, you feel like these people could care less about the customer. You can tell they aren't getting paid much & don't have pride in the job. I'll say it again: if you don't like your paycheck, don't take it out on the general public. Go find another job, get more education or shut up & change your attitude! No one wants to hear about it & the public didn't set your salary. Take that gripe to your manager, not me.
Having a job is not a right or an entitlement. If you can't do yours, you deserve to be replaced. If your position is obsolete, it's time to get with the times and deal with it. You could always do other things. For instance, they'll never outsource hairdressing or nail work. People will always be shallow & want to look good. I don't think societal pressure on women to look good will fade anytime soon. Find your own examples.
Now, for one more reason I refuse to live someplace with a homeowner's association of any sort. I hate the concept of co-op boards and condominium boards for pretty much these exact reasons. I also don't like the racism and classism they disguise as "image reasons." Nor do I think they should get the legal power that they get under state law. You can read appalling stories about the antics of some boards in NYC. That's totally scared me off from dealing with it. I believe that if you have the money to pay for it, you should live wherever you want. THAT should be it. I'm not going to live someplace where I have to impress some board by being someone I'm not & then get rejected because some jack hole didn't like my shoes or my husband. Oh, and legally you know the board doesn't have to impress YOU right? More reason for me not to consider buying there.
However, if you find me a board of people who think like me (say those frat looking guys who were the board at one place I heard about or some people who don't insist on only living amongst Stepford wives) then it might work out. Otherwise, I want to be left alone and not obligated to grovel for someone else's approval. I don't have enough experience on this to know for sure but I'm definitely skeptical about this being one of those situations where there's a match for everyone.
Reading this makes me happy with human nature. I'm glad to see that most people thought this guy was full of crap.
How about we agree that those who think video games should be put away at an arbitrary age are people that really need to get laid more often? If they had satisfying sex lives, maybe they would not be going on television to discuss stupid things like this. They might get those sticks out from up their butts and become rational human beings who focus on their own lives instead of the fundamentalist harpies we have now. I also think that anyone who thinks there's such an age when you're "too old" for video games is someone who is mentally 200 years old. Thank God my parents don't have that mentality! I could see them still being somewhat hip at 90, especially my dad. My mom would probably be dressed up and taking her walker to go trick or treating on Halloween.
So, lastly I saw this article. I'm a woman as well as a feminist: I found this funny. Do not lump all the whiny crybabies who complained about this one as "angry feminists." They most definitely don't represent me & maybe I don't quite fit "angry feminist" but I am both these things separately....
I think if these whining crybabies like this Rebecca Cullers who want to erode all humor out of the world by living in denial of basic truths actually got laid once in a while, they might get a sense of humor. I liken these people to the types who'll look for anything different or unique & get offended by it just because they are jealous harpies who couldn't come up with an original idea if it walked up and bit them on the butt. Personally, I like the old saying "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke." There are women who aren't suffering from PMS or having that time of the month who are like this all the time; what's their excuse?
Know what pisses ME off??? Bitchy females (for that matter, anyone in particular) who want to erode all the joy, fun and charm of the world. These are the same women who play fashion police because they are too old or fat to wear things & instead of improving THEMSELVES or being proud of who THEY are, they have to go drag everyone else down to THEIR level. You ever notice that women who have self-confidence and know they are awesome don't do this stuff? If I already know who I am and that I'm a person of worth, I don't have to tear down others to prop myself up. It's wasted energy.
You'll notice all the representatives who want to do away with women's rights are old white men. You don't see young men doing this unless perhaps they're a clone of Alex Keaton from Family Ties.
Women doing these sorts of things really piss me off since I'm female and that makes me look bad by association. I sure don't want my husband thinking I'm also a joyless harpy. If I were, he certainly wouldn't have married me.
So why do I think people (that is, those over 18 who are not being supported by their parents) should get laid more? There are very good reasons.
First off, religion preaches against it constantly. You rarely hear about ministers telling people to have sex & the ones who tell married couples to do it still make headlines. You'll notice many of our maladjusted folk are the ones who had to deal with the drumbeat of religion & follow it to a hyper-fanatical degree. My experience in a religious household probably helps here as well. Know how many "cool" teachers I had in private school, where you'd feel you could come to them with problems? I rest my case.
Second, sex is relaxing & tends to mellow folk out. Everyone I know that ever said "So & So needs to get laid." meant it as "So & So is pissing me off/a killjoy/annoying everyone all the time as a personality trait." I never actually heard of an authority figure saying sex was good until I went to college. As a freshman, one of my classmates talked about a professor who encouraged her students to have sex. We were also told about how the threat of pregnancy (as in the possibility of it happening during a given sexual encounter) really wasn't as bad as we'd been scared with as middle & high school kids. College professors were also much cooler as a whole. I also grew up in NC so perhaps that's a factor.
Third, people with sex lives tend to consider them a priority. If you're too busy having sex, you won't bother people on other matters. You tend to not worry about who your neighbor sleeps with or what your co-worker does at home.
Maybe we should also slip some pot brownies to religious lunatics so they'll lighten up. Then, they might focus on getting high instead of closing down Planned Parenthood or getting offended by what they saw on "the TV."
Teens generally don't suffer from this problem so most of them don't need to get laid. Some will do it anyway so I'm all for teaching actual sex ed & making contraception available to them. I didn't but largely because I didn't want to be stuck in NC and because no one I went to school with understood the term discretion. Better not to have to worry about if such personal details like what your private parts look like become fodder for gossip. In my case, I know it would have been a problem with all the notoriety I had. Social pressure made it easy for me to abstain. Not sure about other teens, though.
I still contend that if more adults got laid more often, we might have fewer problems in this country. There should be a "mind your own business" law when it comes to things like consensual sex, abortion, voluntary sterilization, marriage, etc. Things where only YOU have to deal with the consequences vs. society or non-consenting participants like kids or rape victims. Morality shouldn't be legislated. End of story.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Someday, I'll Own the MTA
Okay, MTA board members. Contrary to popular belief, not all people who take public transit are the uneducated, unwashed sheeple! Some of us are smart! Some of us are lawyers! Some of us just don't take crap off others.
Let me tell you something else: some of your employees are engaging in behavior that's a lawsuit waiting to happen. I don't know whether they or management/policy writers ought to be blamed but here are a couple of tales you should take to heart.
#1 My husband spoke of a bus driver who NEVER had adequate A/C on when needed. One day last year, I got onto a bus where this driver was present. It was over 90 degrees outside and kind of that hazy heat wave stuff we're going through now.
I get on the bus and loudly mention that when a small child or elderly person passes out from heat stroke as a result of being on that bus, I'm going to have some clients and they'll own the MTA. I also mentioned being an attorney.
He got the message & we stopped sweating like pigs on the bus.
But if you think that was bad, I must mention yesterday. Oooh, yesterday. If I didn't have a viable career path, decent employment and a husband who wasn't getting laid off, I'd have likely hurt someone.
Before I left my home, the heat index was over 100 degrees outside. I dressed in shorter attire (call it sexy if you'd like) and even put my long hair back away from my face & neck. It took 4 hair bands to do it!
I was also traveling on my primary subway in an area where it's the ONLY subway to get to Manhattan. We all know that even a lukewarm breeze in a subway station is a luxury.
These circumstances bring me to legal outrage #2, which is far worse in my book.
#2 I take the subway to get to Manhattan in order to meet my husband for dinner and use up a discount coupon he got for his birthday (yesterday was the last day to use it and good locations of this place are sparse).
We get to Bedford Ave aka Hipster Alley, when the conductor announces that our cool, A/C filled subway is ending at our stop and going back where we came from. We are told to depart the subway into a boiling, blisteringly hot subway platform already semi-crowded with people.
When everyone departs the train, the doors close & the train just sits there. No regard or attempt for the fact that everyone's on this crowded, breeze-free platform! No consideration that the heat index is 100+ degrees outside & you're not supposed to not be in hot places for extended time periods. Never mind the fact that there could easily have been small children and older people on this subway. It just sits there, mocking everyone with the interior coolness while we're feeling like we're going to die.
One of my law professors once said that widows and children always win. Basically, this means that if your injured party is a child or a widow that person will get maximum jury sympathy in a negligence/personal injury lawsuit.
Absolutely NO offer whatsoever is made to allow passengers to cool off in the train while we're waiting the 6-7 minutes for the next train.
During this time, we continue to hear announcements stating that we can't take this train into Manhattan and have to take the next Brooklyn bound train 9 stops back to transfer elsewhere.
After this, a train going to Brooklyn pulls in. It is stuffed full of people. Only a trickle walk out. I said "This is unconscionable."
Thankfully, a Manhattan bound train shows up but by that point I decided I'd rather not stand in another hot as Hell subway station for another train. I take my chances walking on the NYC streets where I might feel a breeze. Wouldn't you?
Also, like many people I tend to get very irritable when the temperate is above 90 degrees outside & you force me into a space that has no air conditioning. School administrators in the South understand this basic concept. Why can't the MTA's top brass or employees? I was very tempted to walk up to the subway operator that people were talking to & point out the legal issues/events that will lead to someone getting hurt.
If this kind of crap is characteristic of a month in the life of the MTA service, someone owning the MTA is eventually going to happen. Based on the odds, a multi-million dollar lawsuit is bound to happen. Some little kid or an old person dying or suffering permanent injury? Some worker being assaulted or killed? Whatever might happen by forcing travelers to suffer in spaces as hot or hotter than the outside streets in a heat wave is going to be bad. If it happens to me, you'd better believe I'd take action & mention the legal issues in a second. Sane people know better than to mess with me.
And if I didn't have prospects or get laid regularly, I'd be a much more dangerous person. More on the getting laid part in the next rant.
Let me tell you something else: some of your employees are engaging in behavior that's a lawsuit waiting to happen. I don't know whether they or management/policy writers ought to be blamed but here are a couple of tales you should take to heart.
#1 My husband spoke of a bus driver who NEVER had adequate A/C on when needed. One day last year, I got onto a bus where this driver was present. It was over 90 degrees outside and kind of that hazy heat wave stuff we're going through now.
I get on the bus and loudly mention that when a small child or elderly person passes out from heat stroke as a result of being on that bus, I'm going to have some clients and they'll own the MTA. I also mentioned being an attorney.
He got the message & we stopped sweating like pigs on the bus.
But if you think that was bad, I must mention yesterday. Oooh, yesterday. If I didn't have a viable career path, decent employment and a husband who wasn't getting laid off, I'd have likely hurt someone.
Before I left my home, the heat index was over 100 degrees outside. I dressed in shorter attire (call it sexy if you'd like) and even put my long hair back away from my face & neck. It took 4 hair bands to do it!
I was also traveling on my primary subway in an area where it's the ONLY subway to get to Manhattan. We all know that even a lukewarm breeze in a subway station is a luxury.
These circumstances bring me to legal outrage #2, which is far worse in my book.
#2 I take the subway to get to Manhattan in order to meet my husband for dinner and use up a discount coupon he got for his birthday (yesterday was the last day to use it and good locations of this place are sparse).
We get to Bedford Ave aka Hipster Alley, when the conductor announces that our cool, A/C filled subway is ending at our stop and going back where we came from. We are told to depart the subway into a boiling, blisteringly hot subway platform already semi-crowded with people.
When everyone departs the train, the doors close & the train just sits there. No regard or attempt for the fact that everyone's on this crowded, breeze-free platform! No consideration that the heat index is 100+ degrees outside & you're not supposed to not be in hot places for extended time periods. Never mind the fact that there could easily have been small children and older people on this subway. It just sits there, mocking everyone with the interior coolness while we're feeling like we're going to die.
One of my law professors once said that widows and children always win. Basically, this means that if your injured party is a child or a widow that person will get maximum jury sympathy in a negligence/personal injury lawsuit.
Absolutely NO offer whatsoever is made to allow passengers to cool off in the train while we're waiting the 6-7 minutes for the next train.
During this time, we continue to hear announcements stating that we can't take this train into Manhattan and have to take the next Brooklyn bound train 9 stops back to transfer elsewhere.
After this, a train going to Brooklyn pulls in. It is stuffed full of people. Only a trickle walk out. I said "This is unconscionable."
Thankfully, a Manhattan bound train shows up but by that point I decided I'd rather not stand in another hot as Hell subway station for another train. I take my chances walking on the NYC streets where I might feel a breeze. Wouldn't you?
Also, like many people I tend to get very irritable when the temperate is above 90 degrees outside & you force me into a space that has no air conditioning. School administrators in the South understand this basic concept. Why can't the MTA's top brass or employees? I was very tempted to walk up to the subway operator that people were talking to & point out the legal issues/events that will lead to someone getting hurt.
If this kind of crap is characteristic of a month in the life of the MTA service, someone owning the MTA is eventually going to happen. Based on the odds, a multi-million dollar lawsuit is bound to happen. Some little kid or an old person dying or suffering permanent injury? Some worker being assaulted or killed? Whatever might happen by forcing travelers to suffer in spaces as hot or hotter than the outside streets in a heat wave is going to be bad. If it happens to me, you'd better believe I'd take action & mention the legal issues in a second. Sane people know better than to mess with me.
And if I didn't have prospects or get laid regularly, I'd be a much more dangerous person. More on the getting laid part in the next rant.
Labels:
air conditioning,
buses,
heat wave,
MTA,
subway
Monday, July 18, 2011
Strangers Sending Social Media Friend Requests
Now I'm not talking about people who work in my industry or ASTs I've not met in person or spoken to in this rant. You people are more than welcome to reach out to me. Though attorneys who don't work in the entertainment field will need to pass an initiation first (just kidding, but if you have never seen Office Space or don't know where the line "I'M a wild pig!" comes from, I probably won't trust you).
Nor am I talking about actual fans: if you're not planning to interfere in my life (stalking, trying to break up my relationships, cause me more general stress), you're also welcome to reach out.
What irks me is people who never said a single word to you whose ONLY connection is being in your high school class ages ago suddenly wanting to friend you on Facebook. I don't mean legitimate old friends or people who are truly contrite after wronging you; I'm talking about the bastards who either deny that they made your life a living Hell or people who'd be background actors if your life were a movie. Thankfully, not gotten anyone in the first camp but I did get one in the second.
Another strike against you if you send me a friend request is if you're friends with my sister. Since that whole situation with my former friend after the wedding, I'm really not interested in trying to be friends with anyone who's friends with my sister. Especially if you live in the same town as her. Chances are you don't have much in common with me to begin with & I'd really rather not be known as "So & so's sister."
And if you've been shitty to my sister? Give me a fucking break! OF COURSE I'm going to side with her! Especially when you gave her a bad check as a gift and caused havoc on her bank account. No one likes having to pay overdraft fees.
I didn't mention that part because you should talk to her about it. It's not my place to say anything.
My sister is family, you moron! An actual mentally challenged person would have better sense than to try messing with the sacred bond of sisterhood. I take the concept of loyalty very seriously & gee, I don't take shit either. Causing me those problems would probably get my husband to hurt you if I didn't first. You'd be paying me back or I'd at least threaten to take it out of your hide. I wasn't told I ought to become a loan shark for nothing, you know.
When you get indignant when I call you out on this, keeping in mind that you've never even said "Hello" to me, do you know what I'm thinking? Thank God I dodged a damn mooch & future hanger-on who'd have been first in line to ask for money, to meet famous people, send me unsolicited material, pester me about casting their child in a film, etc. Oh, and since I don't know you, I owe you nothing. Not a damn thing, all right?
Unlike some people, I'm not going to play to that fiction. I'm not living in the South or under anyone's thumb anymore. I can make my own life decisions and choose who will or won't be in my life. How dare you try & infantalize me by using a friendship with my sister to get to me! We're two separate people & HER friends don't = MY friends. You don't get an equally close relationship with both of us: you get one or the other.
So if you've never even said "hello" to me & now think you're going to be my Facebook friend, you're sadly mistaken. In fact, I've got two words for you: Piss off! Sums it up, don't you think?
Nor am I talking about actual fans: if you're not planning to interfere in my life (stalking, trying to break up my relationships, cause me more general stress), you're also welcome to reach out.
What irks me is people who never said a single word to you whose ONLY connection is being in your high school class ages ago suddenly wanting to friend you on Facebook. I don't mean legitimate old friends or people who are truly contrite after wronging you; I'm talking about the bastards who either deny that they made your life a living Hell or people who'd be background actors if your life were a movie. Thankfully, not gotten anyone in the first camp but I did get one in the second.
Another strike against you if you send me a friend request is if you're friends with my sister. Since that whole situation with my former friend after the wedding, I'm really not interested in trying to be friends with anyone who's friends with my sister. Especially if you live in the same town as her. Chances are you don't have much in common with me to begin with & I'd really rather not be known as "So & so's sister."
And if you've been shitty to my sister? Give me a fucking break! OF COURSE I'm going to side with her! Especially when you gave her a bad check as a gift and caused havoc on her bank account. No one likes having to pay overdraft fees.
I didn't mention that part because you should talk to her about it. It's not my place to say anything.
My sister is family, you moron! An actual mentally challenged person would have better sense than to try messing with the sacred bond of sisterhood. I take the concept of loyalty very seriously & gee, I don't take shit either. Causing me those problems would probably get my husband to hurt you if I didn't first. You'd be paying me back or I'd at least threaten to take it out of your hide. I wasn't told I ought to become a loan shark for nothing, you know.
When you get indignant when I call you out on this, keeping in mind that you've never even said "Hello" to me, do you know what I'm thinking? Thank God I dodged a damn mooch & future hanger-on who'd have been first in line to ask for money, to meet famous people, send me unsolicited material, pester me about casting their child in a film, etc. Oh, and since I don't know you, I owe you nothing. Not a damn thing, all right?
Unlike some people, I'm not going to play to that fiction. I'm not living in the South or under anyone's thumb anymore. I can make my own life decisions and choose who will or won't be in my life. How dare you try & infantalize me by using a friendship with my sister to get to me! We're two separate people & HER friends don't = MY friends. You don't get an equally close relationship with both of us: you get one or the other.
So if you've never even said "hello" to me & now think you're going to be my Facebook friend, you're sadly mistaken. In fact, I've got two words for you: Piss off! Sums it up, don't you think?
Labels:
sisters,
social media,
strangers,
unwanted friend requests
Friday, July 15, 2011
More Job Interviewing Screwups
After today's round of interviews, the biggest word that comes to mind is "Whew!" Now I'm not completely finished with interviews but I'm nearing the home stretch. Honestly, I feel like I got most of my best candidates earlier. Guess rewarding people who responded sooner with sooner interview dates/times paid off.
To the people I met today who are worthwhile candidates: thank you! You made my day much better & less stressful. Especially after the no-shows & prima donnas who seemed to think they could bail at the last minute and I'd reschedule for them as a matter of course. Never mind the fact that I worked around my obligations (including a paying day job) to schedule interviews to begin with or that I told my team I'd have all the interviews finished by a certain day. See, unlike you I RESPECT deadlines & take them seriously. Try violating them in legal practice & see where it gets you.
A few more little tips:
1. If you go to meet with me & don't know what I look like, that's a serious minus point. That means you didn't go to the company's website or even Google me. Translation: you're lazy.
2. Don't assume I've got text messaging on my phone. I know someone who opts not to have a cell phone. There's freedom in not having people be able to reach you all the time. I can't help but admire someone who doesn't have to be tethered to the outside world like that. I remember the days I didn't have a cell phone but now, I'm not sure I'd be able to give it up like that.
3. If you don't show up & don't call, you are effectively getting black balled. Don't expect me to keep that a secret. You'd better pray I don't know someone at any future companies you apply to or that they don't happen to ask me or my associates about you. They will hear it & they will not bother w/you.
Oh, and did I mention the entertainment business is very small? People know each other & they definitely talk. Translation: you're a flake & you're on my shit list. We HATE flakes with an undeniable passion & vigor reserved for child molesters, stalkers and other assorted scummy people. Really not smart to get on a lawyer's shit list, either. That goes for any lawyer, not just me.
4. If you don't know what my company does & ask me why I'm interviewing you, that also means you're not working with me. Translation: you're lazy. You also don't give a damn about MY company or MY work. Why should I care about you?
5. Finally, don't waltz in thinking you're going to be the DP/Executive Producer/Editor or whatever high level position you have no track record/reputation in on our next picture. The entertainment business works on reputation: if you're a newbie, you don't have one. You don't have references we trust, you don't have prior experience, then guess what? You don't get to do it!!!
Let me familiarize you with a concept: baby steps. This means prove you're competent, will do a good job, won't be a dreaded flake & maybe we'll consider you. If you think for 5 seconds you'll be displacing people we've been working with for years, have an established relationship with or whose track records/reputations are awesome, you'd better wake up & get with the program. You have to pay dues here just like anywhere else. The good news is that at least in entertainment, most people aren't interns 5 years later. There tends to be some upward mobility, sometimes very fast if you're that good & prove yourself. It's not like working for a city job where no one bothers to advance you or give you any incentive to do a good job. Most entertainment folk will remember & reward hard work.
Waltz in & demand us to see your creative work, give you an acting audition, etc.? We'll laugh inside. Translation: you're a cocky motherfucker who thinks they are above everyone else.
Speaking of cocky motherfuckers, there's no way in hell I'd consider a celebrity intern. I read this story earlier.
If your claim to fame is that you share zygotes with one or more celebs, guess what? I'll perceive you as too much trouble. I'll also think you are a cocky motherfucker who thinks they are exempt from everyone else & won't listen to me or anyone else on my team. Know what I think of that? I'll knock you square off that high horse in 2 seconds. One of my husband's former co-workers once said that I could kill someone with words. I could also demoralize & take you down emotionally in a second.
So if you were a celeb or offspring of one & wanted to intern w/my company? You'd better do your damnedest to show me some humility; I also hate suck ups & can spot insincerity from a mile away. I'd also probably tell you point blank that we run this ship & if you dare to mess with that boat or think you can slack off b/c of who you're related to, you'll be out on your ass just like anyone else. I also have that repressed telling off of my ex-friend you'll have to deal with. Condescension & trying to lump me/other interns/anyone else into your figure of the "little people" is just an invitation for me to knock you down harder than a law school professor would to a 1L class (and they're vicious & merciless).
One person who was known for giving others attitude also got only one verbal smack down from me to never pull that with me again, at least to my face. I did this without having to curse or do anything special. I simply used brutal honesty & insider knowledge of how badly you'll be perceived if you do X.
Plus, I once made a career services person at my law school back off from the whole "You don't have a high class rank/law review" attack they usually gave to students. These attacks tend to be rather brutal & by the end of my response, the person I was meeting with was like "It's okay."
If I can do that, you're not going to have a prayer with me. Oh, and if you've read this blog, you already know someone's wealth/status/whatever doesn't impress me at all. I've never been the type to take shit from anyone & I'm not about to start now. You treat me with basic respect and dignity & I'll do likewise for you. If you don't, don't expect me to kiss your ass. Arrogance is an equal opportunity affair & can exist anywhere. Poor people w/that attitude will get it just as badly as anyone else if they pull that with me.
So, again if you get to interview people you learn some valuable lessons about how to be a good candidate & what not to do. I highly encourage it if you get a chance.
To the people I met today who are worthwhile candidates: thank you! You made my day much better & less stressful. Especially after the no-shows & prima donnas who seemed to think they could bail at the last minute and I'd reschedule for them as a matter of course. Never mind the fact that I worked around my obligations (including a paying day job) to schedule interviews to begin with or that I told my team I'd have all the interviews finished by a certain day. See, unlike you I RESPECT deadlines & take them seriously. Try violating them in legal practice & see where it gets you.
A few more little tips:
1. If you go to meet with me & don't know what I look like, that's a serious minus point. That means you didn't go to the company's website or even Google me. Translation: you're lazy.
2. Don't assume I've got text messaging on my phone. I know someone who opts not to have a cell phone. There's freedom in not having people be able to reach you all the time. I can't help but admire someone who doesn't have to be tethered to the outside world like that. I remember the days I didn't have a cell phone but now, I'm not sure I'd be able to give it up like that.
3. If you don't show up & don't call, you are effectively getting black balled. Don't expect me to keep that a secret. You'd better pray I don't know someone at any future companies you apply to or that they don't happen to ask me or my associates about you. They will hear it & they will not bother w/you.
Oh, and did I mention the entertainment business is very small? People know each other & they definitely talk. Translation: you're a flake & you're on my shit list. We HATE flakes with an undeniable passion & vigor reserved for child molesters, stalkers and other assorted scummy people. Really not smart to get on a lawyer's shit list, either. That goes for any lawyer, not just me.
4. If you don't know what my company does & ask me why I'm interviewing you, that also means you're not working with me. Translation: you're lazy. You also don't give a damn about MY company or MY work. Why should I care about you?
5. Finally, don't waltz in thinking you're going to be the DP/Executive Producer/Editor or whatever high level position you have no track record/reputation in on our next picture. The entertainment business works on reputation: if you're a newbie, you don't have one. You don't have references we trust, you don't have prior experience, then guess what? You don't get to do it!!!
Let me familiarize you with a concept: baby steps. This means prove you're competent, will do a good job, won't be a dreaded flake & maybe we'll consider you. If you think for 5 seconds you'll be displacing people we've been working with for years, have an established relationship with or whose track records/reputations are awesome, you'd better wake up & get with the program. You have to pay dues here just like anywhere else. The good news is that at least in entertainment, most people aren't interns 5 years later. There tends to be some upward mobility, sometimes very fast if you're that good & prove yourself. It's not like working for a city job where no one bothers to advance you or give you any incentive to do a good job. Most entertainment folk will remember & reward hard work.
Waltz in & demand us to see your creative work, give you an acting audition, etc.? We'll laugh inside. Translation: you're a cocky motherfucker who thinks they are above everyone else.
Speaking of cocky motherfuckers, there's no way in hell I'd consider a celebrity intern. I read this story earlier.
If your claim to fame is that you share zygotes with one or more celebs, guess what? I'll perceive you as too much trouble. I'll also think you are a cocky motherfucker who thinks they are exempt from everyone else & won't listen to me or anyone else on my team. Know what I think of that? I'll knock you square off that high horse in 2 seconds. One of my husband's former co-workers once said that I could kill someone with words. I could also demoralize & take you down emotionally in a second.
So if you were a celeb or offspring of one & wanted to intern w/my company? You'd better do your damnedest to show me some humility; I also hate suck ups & can spot insincerity from a mile away. I'd also probably tell you point blank that we run this ship & if you dare to mess with that boat or think you can slack off b/c of who you're related to, you'll be out on your ass just like anyone else. I also have that repressed telling off of my ex-friend you'll have to deal with. Condescension & trying to lump me/other interns/anyone else into your figure of the "little people" is just an invitation for me to knock you down harder than a law school professor would to a 1L class (and they're vicious & merciless).
One person who was known for giving others attitude also got only one verbal smack down from me to never pull that with me again, at least to my face. I did this without having to curse or do anything special. I simply used brutal honesty & insider knowledge of how badly you'll be perceived if you do X.
Plus, I once made a career services person at my law school back off from the whole "You don't have a high class rank/law review" attack they usually gave to students. These attacks tend to be rather brutal & by the end of my response, the person I was meeting with was like "It's okay."
If I can do that, you're not going to have a prayer with me. Oh, and if you've read this blog, you already know someone's wealth/status/whatever doesn't impress me at all. I've never been the type to take shit from anyone & I'm not about to start now. You treat me with basic respect and dignity & I'll do likewise for you. If you don't, don't expect me to kiss your ass. Arrogance is an equal opportunity affair & can exist anywhere. Poor people w/that attitude will get it just as badly as anyone else if they pull that with me.
So, again if you get to interview people you learn some valuable lessons about how to be a good candidate & what not to do. I highly encourage it if you get a chance.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Society Has Had Enough of Deadbeat Parents
You know the type. The people who let their kids shriek to high heaven & continue smiling, chatting with adults, etc. like nothing unusual is going on. Like their little screeching wonder isn't disturbing other people or ruining the atmosphere of a restaurant/public place.
One guy who's had it is Mike Vuick, the owner of McDain's Restaurant in Monoroeville, PA. Read about it here.
This is guy is my hero! I want to know which restaurants in NYC ban little children so I can make special trips there. Especially after today.
I just got done trying to interview people at a local coffee shop (if you want to know the name, ask). If it's trying to be Starbucks, people have a right to hang out & relax there. In a coffee shop, you can have soft conversations & expect to hear the other person. Relaxation is expected. People do homework there, draw inspiration, etc.
When you can't, this means your child is too freaking loud. My sister has a young child & I know she is cognizant and respectful of other patrons. She would never let her one year old shriek and scream at the expense of everyone's eardrums. Nor would she walk into a Starbucks and chat up some friend, all the while letting her child disturb all the patrons.
NOT this bitch I encountered at the local coffee shop.
While I'm trying to finish up a job interview, her child starts screeching loudly. She continues talking to her friend, making zero effort to attend to this child or find out what's going on.
After not being able to hear my interviewee speak I finally had enough, walked over & said I was trying to finish an interview then said "If you don't mind, can you keep it down?"
Deadbeat mother's friend gets all huffy, essentially proclaiming little precious & his neglectful mother have more right to be there than me. I made it a point to express this to my husband after deadbeat Mommy & my interviewee left (had to call him back anyway since he'd called during that interview). She decides to horn in on the conversation saying "Get an office!"
Well, bitch if you want to kick me out, kick out the people hanging out on laptops. Also didn't see you with a container filled with a beverage in front of you at all times. Maybe you should get the fuck out! Go indulge parental neglect at your own house. Deal with screeching there. Don't do it in a public place.
And why is not a shocker that it was white people involved? The Puerto Rican & Latin people in my neighborhood (including my own neighbors) don't play that shit. THEY pay attention to their screeching kids on the train. THEY make an effort! This bitch made none.
I was sorely tempted to say something to the loudmouth bitch when I left but I didn't. If I see her again, you bet I will. Will there be a fight? I don't know but I sure as Hell have no fear toward this old deadbeat (what else can you say about an entitled princess who supports neglectful parenting over the peaceful coffee shop atmosphere).
Coffee shops aren't even for little kids anyway, asshole! They're for grown ups! No younger than teens anyway.
Furthermore, learned this place is a "grade pending" after seeing no signage on it and the manager is apparently not there on a set schedule. They will get theirs, rest assured.
One guy who's had it is Mike Vuick, the owner of McDain's Restaurant in Monoroeville, PA. Read about it here.
This is guy is my hero! I want to know which restaurants in NYC ban little children so I can make special trips there. Especially after today.
I just got done trying to interview people at a local coffee shop (if you want to know the name, ask). If it's trying to be Starbucks, people have a right to hang out & relax there. In a coffee shop, you can have soft conversations & expect to hear the other person. Relaxation is expected. People do homework there, draw inspiration, etc.
When you can't, this means your child is too freaking loud. My sister has a young child & I know she is cognizant and respectful of other patrons. She would never let her one year old shriek and scream at the expense of everyone's eardrums. Nor would she walk into a Starbucks and chat up some friend, all the while letting her child disturb all the patrons.
NOT this bitch I encountered at the local coffee shop.
While I'm trying to finish up a job interview, her child starts screeching loudly. She continues talking to her friend, making zero effort to attend to this child or find out what's going on.
After not being able to hear my interviewee speak I finally had enough, walked over & said I was trying to finish an interview then said "If you don't mind, can you keep it down?"
Deadbeat mother's friend gets all huffy, essentially proclaiming little precious & his neglectful mother have more right to be there than me. I made it a point to express this to my husband after deadbeat Mommy & my interviewee left (had to call him back anyway since he'd called during that interview). She decides to horn in on the conversation saying "Get an office!"
Well, bitch if you want to kick me out, kick out the people hanging out on laptops. Also didn't see you with a container filled with a beverage in front of you at all times. Maybe you should get the fuck out! Go indulge parental neglect at your own house. Deal with screeching there. Don't do it in a public place.
And why is not a shocker that it was white people involved? The Puerto Rican & Latin people in my neighborhood (including my own neighbors) don't play that shit. THEY pay attention to their screeching kids on the train. THEY make an effort! This bitch made none.
I was sorely tempted to say something to the loudmouth bitch when I left but I didn't. If I see her again, you bet I will. Will there be a fight? I don't know but I sure as Hell have no fear toward this old deadbeat (what else can you say about an entitled princess who supports neglectful parenting over the peaceful coffee shop atmosphere).
Coffee shops aren't even for little kids anyway, asshole! They're for grown ups! No younger than teens anyway.
Furthermore, learned this place is a "grade pending" after seeing no signage on it and the manager is apparently not there on a set schedule. They will get theirs, rest assured.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Whose Injustice Was Worse & Why That's a Stupid Argument
Earlier this week, I witnessed a very ugly incident that shouldn't have happened. How come?
A) It happened in Manhattan of NYC
B) It was at a restaurant where gay pride flags were proudly displayed
C) The person who was racist was a drag queen
D) The drag queen was a member of a minority group
The manager claims this host will be out. Regardless of apologies and so forth from this restaurant, we vow not to return if this person continues to be the host. There's teasing & there's downright racism. Nor would I plan future film company events there; after all, we are not a group that cares about skin color, sexual orientation or practices that don't affect our business or our lives. We want people to feel WELCOME around us.
As we left, one drunk black woman (who may have been the one who did a God awful version of the song "Sweet Thing") dared to try holding up a yardstick to her own minority group's experiences in racism.
Here is an example of a stupid pissing contest: trying to claim that your ethnic group faced more discrimination than another oppressed group.
For one thing, unless YOU PERSONALLY experienced A) slavery, B) segregation, C) any other harm that occurred to your ethic group but not you personally, do not talk to me about it like it's your personal harm. I will tell you you're looking damn good to be over 200 years old if you bitch to me about slavery. Unless you were ever made to sit on the back of the bus, shut up.
Guess what? When you bitch about things you didn't actually live, you belittle the people who actually did experience that stuff. You wouldn't have opportunities today if your ancestors didn't stand up to that stuff & go through extremely shitty events to do it. Internalizing things you didn't live is, in my book, trying to compare yourself to those people & saying you're just as much a victim as them.
You aren't!! If I was your ancestor & had gone through the things you were internalizing, I would come back and give you a massive supernatural beat down.
Fight your own damn battles! Talk to me about events that happened to you like dealings with the law or the government. Talk to me about employer discrimination. There's still plenty of racism going on in America & I'm sure you've got a real experience to talk about. Don't talk to me about slavery or segregation when you're the same age as me unless you actually lived that stuff. It sure as hell wasn't an institution in the 1980s & 1990s!
Arguing for slavery reparations just weakens any attempt to fix racism in this country. Do you support reparations to Native Americans since the government stole their land & they continue to go through problems? What about reparations to Holocaust survivors? How about reparations to Italian Americans who were held in concentration camps during World War II (yes, that did happen since my husband learned that from his grandfather who himself was Italian & fought in that war)? Japanese Americans who were also in concentration camps during World War II? A lot of that stuff happened MUCH later. If you don't support those reparations as well, then you're a hypocrite.
I find the "oh, poor me I'm such a victim of discrimination" arguments to be stupid. For one thing, there's always someone who's got it worse than you be it in racist encounters or life as a whole. Second, how about getting off your ass & fighting it instead of whining? No one wants to hear it. Finally, why all the hate on that? How about respecting others & treating them as you'd want to be treated? When you go back to the very beginning, we're all related in some way.
And you know something else? Natural redheads are a far greater minority than anybody else. There's 1% of us. You want to talk about stereotypes? I can name you a dozen. Do you want to claim people look at you like you're from another planet? I get that in far more places than you. I'm usually the only redhead when I go somewhere; often the only natural one. I also get just as much outcast treatment as anybody else; that's probably why I've not had very many white friends.
Oh, and does everyone think you're related to every other person in your race? I'm sure there are parts of this country where that doesn't happen. Not true for natural redheads. I'd have to go to Ireland or Scotland & even then, I'm not sure if people would still think you're related to all the natural redheads. I'll tell you if I ever get to go; I feel like it would be interesting to be in the majority for a change.
We even had a school system ban our hair color in the past year! So we've been discriminated against as well. Not to mention South Park lampooned us.
Finally, no one's going to accuse you of incest if you date someone in your race. If I dated a red haired guy, people would think I was sleeping with my brother. I'm sure if you went to get a marriage license, the clerk would probably try to stop you since people would think "2 natural redheads. They must be related!" We had a neighbor who was a redhead & everyone thought he was our little brother when we all played outside. It was a reason I never dated red haired guys; I didn't want to go through that hassle + I don't think most red haired guys are even remotely attractive. You can call me a traitor on that one but we all know it's true. If you're a red haired guy who's attractive, you're a very rare breed.
So, yeah redheads don't like being lumped in with the white people. Especially the blonds. Oh, God the blonds!! That's another entry, though.
See why I have plans to create a scholarship only for natural redheads? I don't care what color your skin is; you just have to be a natural redhead. I read something about a very young black girl who was a natural redhead (I think she was 3 at the time I read it). Ask her about the natural redhead experience when she's 18; I'm sure she could tell you worse things.
A) It happened in Manhattan of NYC
B) It was at a restaurant where gay pride flags were proudly displayed
C) The person who was racist was a drag queen
D) The drag queen was a member of a minority group
The manager claims this host will be out. Regardless of apologies and so forth from this restaurant, we vow not to return if this person continues to be the host. There's teasing & there's downright racism. Nor would I plan future film company events there; after all, we are not a group that cares about skin color, sexual orientation or practices that don't affect our business or our lives. We want people to feel WELCOME around us.
As we left, one drunk black woman (who may have been the one who did a God awful version of the song "Sweet Thing") dared to try holding up a yardstick to her own minority group's experiences in racism.
Here is an example of a stupid pissing contest: trying to claim that your ethnic group faced more discrimination than another oppressed group.
For one thing, unless YOU PERSONALLY experienced A) slavery, B) segregation, C) any other harm that occurred to your ethic group but not you personally, do not talk to me about it like it's your personal harm. I will tell you you're looking damn good to be over 200 years old if you bitch to me about slavery. Unless you were ever made to sit on the back of the bus, shut up.
Guess what? When you bitch about things you didn't actually live, you belittle the people who actually did experience that stuff. You wouldn't have opportunities today if your ancestors didn't stand up to that stuff & go through extremely shitty events to do it. Internalizing things you didn't live is, in my book, trying to compare yourself to those people & saying you're just as much a victim as them.
You aren't!! If I was your ancestor & had gone through the things you were internalizing, I would come back and give you a massive supernatural beat down.
Fight your own damn battles! Talk to me about events that happened to you like dealings with the law or the government. Talk to me about employer discrimination. There's still plenty of racism going on in America & I'm sure you've got a real experience to talk about. Don't talk to me about slavery or segregation when you're the same age as me unless you actually lived that stuff. It sure as hell wasn't an institution in the 1980s & 1990s!
Arguing for slavery reparations just weakens any attempt to fix racism in this country. Do you support reparations to Native Americans since the government stole their land & they continue to go through problems? What about reparations to Holocaust survivors? How about reparations to Italian Americans who were held in concentration camps during World War II (yes, that did happen since my husband learned that from his grandfather who himself was Italian & fought in that war)? Japanese Americans who were also in concentration camps during World War II? A lot of that stuff happened MUCH later. If you don't support those reparations as well, then you're a hypocrite.
I find the "oh, poor me I'm such a victim of discrimination" arguments to be stupid. For one thing, there's always someone who's got it worse than you be it in racist encounters or life as a whole. Second, how about getting off your ass & fighting it instead of whining? No one wants to hear it. Finally, why all the hate on that? How about respecting others & treating them as you'd want to be treated? When you go back to the very beginning, we're all related in some way.
And you know something else? Natural redheads are a far greater minority than anybody else. There's 1% of us. You want to talk about stereotypes? I can name you a dozen. Do you want to claim people look at you like you're from another planet? I get that in far more places than you. I'm usually the only redhead when I go somewhere; often the only natural one. I also get just as much outcast treatment as anybody else; that's probably why I've not had very many white friends.
Oh, and does everyone think you're related to every other person in your race? I'm sure there are parts of this country where that doesn't happen. Not true for natural redheads. I'd have to go to Ireland or Scotland & even then, I'm not sure if people would still think you're related to all the natural redheads. I'll tell you if I ever get to go; I feel like it would be interesting to be in the majority for a change.
We even had a school system ban our hair color in the past year! So we've been discriminated against as well. Not to mention South Park lampooned us.
Finally, no one's going to accuse you of incest if you date someone in your race. If I dated a red haired guy, people would think I was sleeping with my brother. I'm sure if you went to get a marriage license, the clerk would probably try to stop you since people would think "2 natural redheads. They must be related!" We had a neighbor who was a redhead & everyone thought he was our little brother when we all played outside. It was a reason I never dated red haired guys; I didn't want to go through that hassle + I don't think most red haired guys are even remotely attractive. You can call me a traitor on that one but we all know it's true. If you're a red haired guy who's attractive, you're a very rare breed.
So, yeah redheads don't like being lumped in with the white people. Especially the blonds. Oh, God the blonds!! That's another entry, though.
See why I have plans to create a scholarship only for natural redheads? I don't care what color your skin is; you just have to be a natural redhead. I read something about a very young black girl who was a natural redhead (I think she was 3 at the time I read it). Ask her about the natural redhead experience when she's 18; I'm sure she could tell you worse things.
Labels:
being a redhead,
minorities,
New York,
racism,
slavery,
whose injustice is worse
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
How to Screw Up a Job Opportunity in the Entertainment Field
I've been quite busy lately so have not been able to update as much.
For one thing, I've been dealing with responses to my company's ad for interns. If you have never interviewed people for a job, I highly recommend it. You find out some very interesting things.
First off, Scott Power's advice on how casting directors and the like really want to find the right person for that acting role definitely applies to the intern search. At least with me as interviewer, I'm just seeking the right person for the job. I don't care about things you can't control so before I see your response, you don't lose points with me for simply applying.
Second, you'll see people doing all kinds of things you wouldn't expect. Not following up, not keeping contact information current, ditching interviews without calling, asking for things they could easily find online, etc.
This isn't even talking about interviewing attire, which some businesses are far pickier about than others. As a rule of thumb, I always ask my interviewer how I should dress so I don't walk in wearing my corporate bad ass business suit & scare people even more when applying for a job having nothing to do with my status as an attorney. If you're an attorney even being considered for a non-lawyer job, you want to be as approachable as possible particularly in more casual settings. The suit you wear to court is probably not a good idea.
Speaking of things I didn't expect, I had a rather interesting correspondence with an internship candidate. Note I said "internship candidate," not "CEO candidate" or even "receptionist candidate." There are some lessons to take from it if you're an applicant. Here goes:
1. You are not the only person on the planet. Other people exist, including your interviewer. You don't know how many other candidates I have to talk to, my personal schedule, if I'm getting paid by the company, etc. For all you know, I have 100 other people to talk to + am going on a long awaited vacation in a very short time.
2. You are not the best candidate for the job. As in life, there's always someone who's smarter, prettier, a better athlete, a better dancer, etc. Because you don't know how many candidates I have to consider, it's stupid to assume that you are the most sought after.
3. Even if you somehow are the most sought after candidate, that position can change based on your attitude and behavior toward the interviewer (or for that matter, anyone else working with the company including the custodian). You can go from "I've got to interview this person ASAP" to "No way am I working with this person" in a heartbeat.
4. You want your interviewer to be HAPPY. Believe me, you don't want me interviewing you at the crack of dawn & being pissed that you made me get up early. Nor do you want me interviewing you on a day when my husband's home; I'll just fixate on you taking time away from my loved ones.
5. On that note, the interviewer is in charge. NOT you, bub! You don't get to rush out when I give you details or demand information. I get to tell you things in due time. I'm the captain of this ship as is any other person who is an owner in their company or being authorized to interview you. You don't run the show!!!!!!!!
If you think otherwise, you'll definitely not be working in the entertainment field for long. No one wants to work with a self-important diva, whether that's in acting or otherwise. Oh, and straight men can also be "divas."
That is what you are when you whine about the interview location or me giving information when I feel it's appropriate. If you try to rush me around (remember, I could be waiting to hear back from 100 other people & need to manage their responses to me), this is how I will perceive you.
Want to demand me to interview you at a different venue? Pay me for my time. Until you're doing that, shut up.
6. Attitude is everything. Be a prick & see if you get selected as an intern. Oh, and if you've accused the company of being shady when you have no basis to make such assertions don't expect to be considered for ANYTHING. You won't even get a job picking up trash or cleaning up vomit at the after party.
Oh, and I'm allowed to be a bitch. For one thing, I'm a lawyer. Getting six figure loan debt & dealing with assholes in all aspects of the legal field (clients, other attorneys, etc.) have earned me the right to be less than cordial. You want that right? Go to law school, get a JD and get admitted as a lawyer.
Second, I'm a company owner. My word also trumps yours. If you want that right, get your own company & develop it. You'll learn a thing or two about working with others & finding competent people to help you.
Third, if you think I'm "mean" because I don't pull out Midwestern nice for you (and I'm from the SOUTH, jerk) then you're way too delicate for this industry. There are people in this field that make me look like Melody Hansen from Hey Dude.
Most people would tell you I'm a sweetheart but I don't take shit or let anyone push me around. That's how you have to be if you want to survive in a big city and in a competitive industry.
7. Finally, no one has a right to take cabs everywhere in NYC. We have one of the best public transit systems in NYC. Stop being a whiny little baby about using it or I will tease you about it & call you a wimp to your face.
If I don't know who you are, chance are you're not going to get mobbed on the subway.
Newsflash: not everything films every single scene in Manhattan. Parts of our films were shot in Brooklyn, the Bronx & even (gasp) New Jersey. Even well known TV shows shoot scenes in places like Connecticut, Atlantic City, Brooklyn, the Bronx and Queens. This includes well established, mainstream companies not just indies.
Try demanding a company to film all their scenes in Manhattan, especially when you are an intern. I'd love to hear the results of that conversation since I know what I'd tell someone if they asked me that.
NOW do you want to bitch about going to Queens for the interview?
In closing, interns don't have the connections or trust of established people. You also don't know who I may know in the world who could deny you opportunities because of your actions toward me. The entertainment community is very small and NYC is even smaller.
If you're smart, you won't do what that intern did. It's a surefire way to never work in the industry.
For one thing, I've been dealing with responses to my company's ad for interns. If you have never interviewed people for a job, I highly recommend it. You find out some very interesting things.
First off, Scott Power's advice on how casting directors and the like really want to find the right person for that acting role definitely applies to the intern search. At least with me as interviewer, I'm just seeking the right person for the job. I don't care about things you can't control so before I see your response, you don't lose points with me for simply applying.
Second, you'll see people doing all kinds of things you wouldn't expect. Not following up, not keeping contact information current, ditching interviews without calling, asking for things they could easily find online, etc.
This isn't even talking about interviewing attire, which some businesses are far pickier about than others. As a rule of thumb, I always ask my interviewer how I should dress so I don't walk in wearing my corporate bad ass business suit & scare people even more when applying for a job having nothing to do with my status as an attorney. If you're an attorney even being considered for a non-lawyer job, you want to be as approachable as possible particularly in more casual settings. The suit you wear to court is probably not a good idea.
Speaking of things I didn't expect, I had a rather interesting correspondence with an internship candidate. Note I said "internship candidate," not "CEO candidate" or even "receptionist candidate." There are some lessons to take from it if you're an applicant. Here goes:
1. You are not the only person on the planet. Other people exist, including your interviewer. You don't know how many other candidates I have to talk to, my personal schedule, if I'm getting paid by the company, etc. For all you know, I have 100 other people to talk to + am going on a long awaited vacation in a very short time.
2. You are not the best candidate for the job. As in life, there's always someone who's smarter, prettier, a better athlete, a better dancer, etc. Because you don't know how many candidates I have to consider, it's stupid to assume that you are the most sought after.
3. Even if you somehow are the most sought after candidate, that position can change based on your attitude and behavior toward the interviewer (or for that matter, anyone else working with the company including the custodian). You can go from "I've got to interview this person ASAP" to "No way am I working with this person" in a heartbeat.
4. You want your interviewer to be HAPPY. Believe me, you don't want me interviewing you at the crack of dawn & being pissed that you made me get up early. Nor do you want me interviewing you on a day when my husband's home; I'll just fixate on you taking time away from my loved ones.
5. On that note, the interviewer is in charge. NOT you, bub! You don't get to rush out when I give you details or demand information. I get to tell you things in due time. I'm the captain of this ship as is any other person who is an owner in their company or being authorized to interview you. You don't run the show!!!!!!!!
If you think otherwise, you'll definitely not be working in the entertainment field for long. No one wants to work with a self-important diva, whether that's in acting or otherwise. Oh, and straight men can also be "divas."
That is what you are when you whine about the interview location or me giving information when I feel it's appropriate. If you try to rush me around (remember, I could be waiting to hear back from 100 other people & need to manage their responses to me), this is how I will perceive you.
Want to demand me to interview you at a different venue? Pay me for my time. Until you're doing that, shut up.
6. Attitude is everything. Be a prick & see if you get selected as an intern. Oh, and if you've accused the company of being shady when you have no basis to make such assertions don't expect to be considered for ANYTHING. You won't even get a job picking up trash or cleaning up vomit at the after party.
Oh, and I'm allowed to be a bitch. For one thing, I'm a lawyer. Getting six figure loan debt & dealing with assholes in all aspects of the legal field (clients, other attorneys, etc.) have earned me the right to be less than cordial. You want that right? Go to law school, get a JD and get admitted as a lawyer.
Second, I'm a company owner. My word also trumps yours. If you want that right, get your own company & develop it. You'll learn a thing or two about working with others & finding competent people to help you.
Third, if you think I'm "mean" because I don't pull out Midwestern nice for you (and I'm from the SOUTH, jerk) then you're way too delicate for this industry. There are people in this field that make me look like Melody Hansen from Hey Dude.
Most people would tell you I'm a sweetheart but I don't take shit or let anyone push me around. That's how you have to be if you want to survive in a big city and in a competitive industry.
7. Finally, no one has a right to take cabs everywhere in NYC. We have one of the best public transit systems in NYC. Stop being a whiny little baby about using it or I will tease you about it & call you a wimp to your face.
If I don't know who you are, chance are you're not going to get mobbed on the subway.
Newsflash: not everything films every single scene in Manhattan. Parts of our films were shot in Brooklyn, the Bronx & even (gasp) New Jersey. Even well known TV shows shoot scenes in places like Connecticut, Atlantic City, Brooklyn, the Bronx and Queens. This includes well established, mainstream companies not just indies.
Try demanding a company to film all their scenes in Manhattan, especially when you are an intern. I'd love to hear the results of that conversation since I know what I'd tell someone if they asked me that.
NOW do you want to bitch about going to Queens for the interview?
In closing, interns don't have the connections or trust of established people. You also don't know who I may know in the world who could deny you opportunities because of your actions toward me. The entertainment community is very small and NYC is even smaller.
If you're smart, you won't do what that intern did. It's a surefire way to never work in the industry.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Frugality vs. Miserly Acts
So, got some good news: hubby's not getting laid off this year. The financial picture is also looking better for me personally since I've been working at a paying temp job that keeps continuing longer than I thought it would. I keep getting good news to where I really should have a little confidence in my life being stable (or at least not feeling like I'm going to have to enact my doomsday plan).
Hey, if you're smart you have a doomsday plan. An agenda of what you'll do if your life completely falls apart & there's no incentive for you to follow law and order or care about anything. Maybe you parents can't relate since you'll have your kids to care for, but those who aren't should be able to. If you understand working toward a passion and knowing that if it fell apart tomorrow you'd never want to do anything else, then you definitely understand why one would have a doomsday plan. It's "doomsday" because you have no incentive to give a damn anymore. Some may be happy becoming homeless and not mind all the bullshit that comes with poverty but as long as I've got a brain, I'm going to have contingency plans.
When you plan for anything, though you know you're going to need money. Because of this and my perhaps paranoid nature, I'm a serious cheapskate (frugal, if you want to be nice). Now if you're able to show me the value in spending a little more or I experience this value firsthand, I'll spring a little.
Generally, though if it comes to something like eating out or going someplace that will cost me money, my knee jerk reaction is to say "No, we don't need to spend the money." I'm so bad on this that if my husband buys me something as a gift that I don't need, I'll tell him he didn't have to spend the $ on me.
One birthday, I was told to pick out some clothing & it was like pulling teeth to get me to get things. For one thing, I'm picky. My method of clothes shopping is I walk in & if something calls to me, I'll consider it. If it's unique enough, makes me look absolutely gorgeous & I can think of uses for it, I'll get it. I also felt things I saw were too expensive & that my hubby shouldn't be spending so much on me.
Once I get going, though, I can find more stuff I like that suits me & has the proper price. Doesn't help that I grew up with very little money. Most of the clothes I have I got through store discounts or on sale.
Trying on clothes recently though, I realized I desperately need to get some new stuff. This is because I'm freakishly tiny. How tiny? Apparently, I'm a size 0 if you look at one retailer's website (a clothing place I like due to the uniqueness of some of their items). My bust-hip-waist measurements match that size perfectly. It's eerie.
It also makes clothes shopping a bitch & a half, as I've stated before. The worst part is, I wasn't even fat in high school. I was being called skinny then & asked if I was anorexic. Can't imagine the flack I'd get now, especially when many of my classmates are larger than they were in high school. I must be the only person on Earth who loses weight during times when everyone else gains it.
Let's see: lost weight in college, lost weight after getting married (or at least haven't gained it), lost weight after moving to NYC. I've also never been a vegetarian or had what anyone would call the best diet ever, though I probably eat healthier than I did when I was younger (no soda & no fast food unless it's a chain I like that I can't get in my area). Hasn't changed a damn thing on me.
See why I keep my regime as it is? I also try to avoid too much exercise since I were thinner, I'd have to get clothes from the children's section.
As part of this, I feel like I'm becoming a miser if I don't get some new clothes. I consider one a miser if they could afford something but are just sticking to things that aren't fitting or have long outlived their usefulness. I'd like to think I'm not going to end up some recluse you see on Unsolved Mysteries who everyone thought was on hard times, doesn't talk to anyone about their personal life, then dies & you find out had millions of dollars they never used or enjoyed while they were alive.
I also saw family members throw money around like it was water. Couldn't save if their lives depended on it. I saw it as wasteful back when I was very young. Guess it also doesn't help that my mom borrowed money from me when I was a kid; she always said I should become a loan shark. My father also stole money from me to fund his drinking since I was the kid who saved allowances. Yeah, if only it were legal to be a loan shark! I could get some big strong guys to help me collect on debts. That would be fun.
Is it no wonder I'm an attorney? Is it no wonder I don't like wasting money?
As for my loans, got every intention to pay those when it's feasible to make a dent in it & will actually mean something in the grand scheme. Maybe loan providers should start helping get my business funded if they want their money that badly. Perhaps help these unemployed lawyers get work. Until then, shut the hell up & get with modern times. You aren't getting repaid by the students + the system itself is well documented as corrupt and not going to collapse with massive defaults. You've also brought it on yourselves.
I'd say as much to anyone trying to bitch at me for doing what I have to in order to survive & not worrying about kowtowing to a system where I'm not getting any kind of reward unless I follow an "all or nothing" scheme. Give me credit for what I can do (ex. partial payments) or expect me to do the bare minimum. It's the rational thing to do. Funny that even my law school bankruptcy professor said that credit card companies were evil; I wonder if he'd feel the same about student loan companies.
Hey, if you're smart you have a doomsday plan. An agenda of what you'll do if your life completely falls apart & there's no incentive for you to follow law and order or care about anything. Maybe you parents can't relate since you'll have your kids to care for, but those who aren't should be able to. If you understand working toward a passion and knowing that if it fell apart tomorrow you'd never want to do anything else, then you definitely understand why one would have a doomsday plan. It's "doomsday" because you have no incentive to give a damn anymore. Some may be happy becoming homeless and not mind all the bullshit that comes with poverty but as long as I've got a brain, I'm going to have contingency plans.
When you plan for anything, though you know you're going to need money. Because of this and my perhaps paranoid nature, I'm a serious cheapskate (frugal, if you want to be nice). Now if you're able to show me the value in spending a little more or I experience this value firsthand, I'll spring a little.
Generally, though if it comes to something like eating out or going someplace that will cost me money, my knee jerk reaction is to say "No, we don't need to spend the money." I'm so bad on this that if my husband buys me something as a gift that I don't need, I'll tell him he didn't have to spend the $ on me.
One birthday, I was told to pick out some clothing & it was like pulling teeth to get me to get things. For one thing, I'm picky. My method of clothes shopping is I walk in & if something calls to me, I'll consider it. If it's unique enough, makes me look absolutely gorgeous & I can think of uses for it, I'll get it. I also felt things I saw were too expensive & that my hubby shouldn't be spending so much on me.
Once I get going, though, I can find more stuff I like that suits me & has the proper price. Doesn't help that I grew up with very little money. Most of the clothes I have I got through store discounts or on sale.
Trying on clothes recently though, I realized I desperately need to get some new stuff. This is because I'm freakishly tiny. How tiny? Apparently, I'm a size 0 if you look at one retailer's website (a clothing place I like due to the uniqueness of some of their items). My bust-hip-waist measurements match that size perfectly. It's eerie.
It also makes clothes shopping a bitch & a half, as I've stated before. The worst part is, I wasn't even fat in high school. I was being called skinny then & asked if I was anorexic. Can't imagine the flack I'd get now, especially when many of my classmates are larger than they were in high school. I must be the only person on Earth who loses weight during times when everyone else gains it.
Let's see: lost weight in college, lost weight after getting married (or at least haven't gained it), lost weight after moving to NYC. I've also never been a vegetarian or had what anyone would call the best diet ever, though I probably eat healthier than I did when I was younger (no soda & no fast food unless it's a chain I like that I can't get in my area). Hasn't changed a damn thing on me.
See why I keep my regime as it is? I also try to avoid too much exercise since I were thinner, I'd have to get clothes from the children's section.
As part of this, I feel like I'm becoming a miser if I don't get some new clothes. I consider one a miser if they could afford something but are just sticking to things that aren't fitting or have long outlived their usefulness. I'd like to think I'm not going to end up some recluse you see on Unsolved Mysteries who everyone thought was on hard times, doesn't talk to anyone about their personal life, then dies & you find out had millions of dollars they never used or enjoyed while they were alive.
I also saw family members throw money around like it was water. Couldn't save if their lives depended on it. I saw it as wasteful back when I was very young. Guess it also doesn't help that my mom borrowed money from me when I was a kid; she always said I should become a loan shark. My father also stole money from me to fund his drinking since I was the kid who saved allowances. Yeah, if only it were legal to be a loan shark! I could get some big strong guys to help me collect on debts. That would be fun.
Is it no wonder I'm an attorney? Is it no wonder I don't like wasting money?
As for my loans, got every intention to pay those when it's feasible to make a dent in it & will actually mean something in the grand scheme. Maybe loan providers should start helping get my business funded if they want their money that badly. Perhaps help these unemployed lawyers get work. Until then, shut the hell up & get with modern times. You aren't getting repaid by the students + the system itself is well documented as corrupt and not going to collapse with massive defaults. You've also brought it on yourselves.
I'd say as much to anyone trying to bitch at me for doing what I have to in order to survive & not worrying about kowtowing to a system where I'm not getting any kind of reward unless I follow an "all or nothing" scheme. Give me credit for what I can do (ex. partial payments) or expect me to do the bare minimum. It's the rational thing to do. Funny that even my law school bankruptcy professor said that credit card companies were evil; I wonder if he'd feel the same about student loan companies.
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