Saturday, June 28, 2014

Sex Store Adventures

I recently went to a Yelp Elite event at a sex shop. This was my first trip to one in a while & I got some stuff I wanted to try out including furry handcuffs. The irony with me getting handcuffs is I have serious anxiety when it comes to being restrained in intimate moments; I only allowed that with my estranged spouse & wouldn't let any other guy do that unless I really trusted him. He'd also have to agree to be restrained since if you guys want women to let you restrain them, you're going to have to agree to the same thing or shut up.

So I actually have a unique history with sex shops. Legend has it that the owner of a huge sex store in Atlanta was an alumnus of my university & tried to give the school money at one point. Back when I'd gone there & recently graduated, they constantly hammered & begged alumni for money. They poor mouthed so much, you wondered how in God's name they managed to keep the doors open. I remember them hassling me months after I graduated & was still in my grace period for repaying student loans; due to the state of affairs at that time along with my personal circumstances, I thought it was extremely crass to go asking recent graduates to contribute to the school. The economy wasn't even as bad then as it was post-2008 so if some school is doing that today, it's even more insulting & tacky.

So with all this begging, you'd think the school would have taken the guy's money. The story goes that they rejected his offer. Why? Supposedly b/c they didn't approve of his business. They apparently weren't familiar with the saying "Beggars can't be choosers."

My sorority chapter was filled with some evolved & cool ladies who had a sense of humor along with a more laid back attitude on matters of sex. I remember quite a few candid conversations about sex (some I listened to & some I was part of).

In fact, we once had an impromptu sorority field trip to this huge sex store in Atlanta (the one & only Inserection). It was actually my first time going to a sex store so it was somewhat eventful for me. As a bunch of girls often do, we browsed, observed, made comments & had fun on this little jaunt. One of my sisters sees a girl on the cover of a porn film & says "That looks like The Angry Redheaded Lawyer" (back when I was merely an angry redhead). I point it wasn't b/c if it was, I'd have a lot more money than I do. Paying tuition wouldn't have been an issue, though I wouldn't have gotten to be a lawyer.

One girl in my sorority dated an artist who gave her a plaster mold of his penis. I didn't see it myself but we definitely heard the story. They also saw the massive amount of flowers I got from Psycho Boy when I was participating in sorority stuff one weekend. A lot of us had that sisterly rapport with one another.

Except for that & more recently, the only other times I remember going to sex shops was with my spouse. We went to one with a very pushy salesperson but I will give her this: she was informed & helpful when we had questions.

If you're going to work at a sex store, there are some requirements:

1. You have to be more laid back when it comes to sex. Imagine someone with my mother's attitude working there; she didn't even want to hear about the ex's theory regarding my ex-friend having a threesome with a guy & his baby mama while they all shared living quarters.

I heard a couple days ago that my ex-friend apparently married this man so he wouldn't get deported. Personally, I think deportation would have been fine & if no one in her family has had a stroke from her birthing his baby and/or marrying him I'd be shocked. This is a woman whose family is more religious than mine & whose grandmother wouldn't let our gay classmate into her house after he came out. I'm sure the affair & the interracial stuff had to make them happy.

2. You need to be non-judgmental. Do you really think people want to talk to a judgmental asshole? Gay, straight, I don't care. People's sex lives aren't your business so if you want sales, remember money is money regardless of where it came from.

Sex shops I've been to, especially in major cities, cater to everyone's tastes & preferences. Gay people have demands as well as straight people. I have to wonder if that holds for smaller cities in the South; you know how judgey they are about gay people & "alternative" lifestyles down there.

3. You can't be the type who giggles & gets all cutesy. The place I went to was having workshops & if you're going to educate people, you can't do it if you're giggling the whole time or look completely embarrassed.

So maybe you should have a little bit of sexual experience if you're going to take a job at a sex store.

Now, for the visuals. I have pics from my adventure:

That's an example of why this place rocks. They cater to both genders & all orientations. Unless someone were a total prude or had no sexual interest at all, I can't see objections to one of these as a gag gift.

I even saw stuff I have never seen before:

I've never seen these before. Didn't check the price but you can only use them once according to the package.

There was also this that I'm going to test out. After all, I'm the ultimate lost cause here:

Also every type of condom you've heard of or wondered about, including flavored ones & Magnums.

I also got some pasties so made sure to get pastie glue. Just seemed like a smart purchase:

This stuff was really good. I did actually taste it:

This just amused me. Maybe for the man who'll never get laid again (I have some theories on that):

Lastly, they do have bondage rope here. The handcuffs were nearby but you might save some money getting this at Home Depot. It was $40 here; I feel like that's way too much.

I had a lot of fun & like that they have everything you ever wanted + cater to all people, not just some of them. I saw all types of stuff here & that is how a sex shop should be. When I saw this penis clock when I went in college, I thought of getting that for my mother to see how she'd react. I bet it would be funny. Scandalizing uber-religious types; it's just so darn tempting.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Is Being Pretty an Open Invitation to Getting Pestered by Cretins & Having Their Lives Micromanaged by "Godly" Employers?

I'd like to know. Let's consider those recent essays on rape culture, including this article on school dress codes.

Does it feel like to anyone that being a woman, particularly an attractive one, seems to be an open invitation for ugly guys (usually in both looks & personality) to pester them? It frustrates the heck out of Single 2.0 me. How come?

First off, I have never been the type to approach a guy on my own. My feeling has been that if I did the approaching & get rejected, it's my fault b/c I inconvenienced the person with my presence. Apparently lots of not that good looking guys don't have that particular "ism" since they approach me like nobody's business, never thinking that they could be out of my league. Maybe my ex should take some lessons.

Second, I'm just not going to compete for some guy. Sorry but I have more value in myself as a human being and I just don't have the time, interest or inclination to do it. I feel the record speaks for itself: my personality, my looks, etc. To my view, if some guy isn't bothering to talk to me & I look as I do fuck him. There's other fish in the sea (as I've reminded myself on numerous occasions & feel gratified by when I get another phone number from a guy after putting in no real effort to get it). I ought to start collecting & saving those; it's getting to be a frequent thing.

Third, just because I have a good conversation with you & don't think you're a flaming imbecile does NOT mean I want you to fuck my brains out. Let me tell you right now good conversation is hard to find when you're the sort of person who doesn't fit into a typical mold. I have a model body with an attorney brain: this makes it harder for me to find peers & true friends I feel comfortable talking to about different things. I happen to value that.

I've also been told I'm fascinating & an interesting person. I shouldn't have to change that, nor will I. Not sure I'd know how to be boring if I tried.

Let's make it clear that my liking a conversation I have with you or having an intellectual connection does not = me wanting to sleep with you. Seems some guys totally don't get that; some of us want platonic friends, damn it. With all I've been going through, I'm not exactly turning down legitimate caring & friendship. If you really were a decent, stand up kind of guy you would NOT be shitting on that. You would be perfectly fine with being a woman's friend. For all you know, it might lead somewhere if you're not a pushy asshole or she might find you that soulmate (if you ask me, that doesn't really exist but who am I to tell anyone not to bother looking if I'm not being paid to tell them that).

I'm not sure whether some guys are just bursting with confidence in a way my ex wasn't or they are seriously clueless. Do I attract ugly guys simply because I have humanity in me? If that's true, it's a damn curse. I'd like to interact with guys I find cute who also don't annoy me enough to make me want to see a heavy object fall on their heads. Perhaps that's the eternal issue though. Do other pretty girls who aren't in exclusive relationships go through this? I know the average looking girls do.

Speaking of being paid to talk people out of things, I wonder if there's such a business or scheme where people get paid to talk others out of getting married or staying in a bad marriage. I could probably convince people to shun marriage. Maybe some people hate a prospective in-law. Maybe some friends don't like their buddy making a commitment to an abuser, a ball buster, or just someone who is an intolerable misanthrope. Not sure if you could have talked me out of getting married to my ex but maybe I should have told my one friend to shoot me or have me committed.

I think I did tell him to do that if I ever showed an inkling of wanting to get married again. If I didn't, I'll have to tell him along with plenty of other people. Don't let me get married or commit to someone; remind me of the massive pain, heartbreak, betrayal and other bullshit I'm going to have to deal with because of giving up my independence & sharing my life with someone. I would certainly share my story if I had to talk someone out of getting or staying married; I'm far happier being out of it than I was in the bad times.

Personally, I feel like those bad times were engineered by my ex rather than something that was credible. Who needs a relationship like that? Isn't it funny how you get out of a situation, get treated better & look back on what you thought was great to realize that it wasn't what you thought it was?

I realized I like having a guy to pamper me & do so without being resentful or pissy about it. That is how it SHOULD be. Women shouldn't have to be worrying about some guy being resentful for doing things for them. If some guy has an issue with it, he may want to examine himself & figure out why he's alone or not with the model types (or at least one who isn't "plastic"). It's not so much that women are gold diggers; you can be generous of heart without being a millionaire. It also doesn't matter if a woman needs to be taken care of or not; self-sufficient women who aren't totally reprehensible do appreciate the gesture (at least I do).

Also, the whole Hobby Lobby case seems related to this issue since they apparently want to make it impossible for women who work there to have rights like the modern citizen. Considering what I've read about their settlement with the NY Attorney General's office & their having products made in China with worker abuse, they're about as "godly" as I am muscular. Let's hope the Supreme Court does the right thing & not allow your employer to shove women into the sugar daddy empire to get their birth control covered since they'll never be able to get it under their health insurance coverage.

Check out some of the medieval legislation going on in places like Ohio, where they want to outlaw abortion even if the mother's life is in danger. So much for that tubal ligation; they'd have a woman like me die from an ectopic pregnancy vs. getting rid of a fetus that will never be viable.

I say if you're pretty, you have the right to be selective & not settle for bullshit. Especially if you just got out of a horrible relationship that in retrospect, wasn't as great as you thought it was. At least that realization makes it possible for me to move on to bigger and better things. As long as you have the unknown, there's limitless potential. Just make sure that guy doesn't support Hobby Lobby's right to micromanage its employee's lives. Maybe they should be forced to raise these unwanted kids since they want to play God so badly. Any guy trying to interfere in such things should also be required to do that. Just my thought.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

More Moves Foward

Really happy I got to be part of this cool urban fashion show in Brooklyn yesterday. I was the only model looking like me (as usual) and probably stood out even more as the only redhead than the only white girl; one guy told me after the show I was holding it down for a white girl. Nice, huh?

I rehearsed and have practiced walking like mad for this one. Remember, I said modeling isn't remotely as easy as it looks. You have to know how to walk properly & you're constantly being critiqued on it and other things. Maybe if you gain weight more easily you get critiqued on that; it's not an issue I deal with but I did find recently I have gotten above 100 pounds (which is a small victory since it's not really healthy for a 5'6 woman to be under 100 pounds, especially when I like my current bra size).

This was the first show where I had a need for pasties. I happened to have nude pasties on me & asked a few days before if I should bring them. I was told to bring them so I did. Turns out that was a very good thing to do since I modeled some sexy outfits, at least one of which my jerky ex would likely have bitched about. I wanted to do swimwear & finally got to do that in this show.

I also got to wear some cute dresses, including one cut in a way that I would kill to get. I would likely use body tape to wear it but I would love to get a dress of that cut. Plus, I just loved the dress period. The dressing up part is probably one of my favorite things about being a model. I just remember that I will look good no matter what & it all flows from there, especially hair wise. The performance aspect probably appeals to me because of my acting background though I realized in that last outfit "Oh, shit I didn't shave down there." Then again, I argue that because I'm a natural redhead & have sensitive skin I should get a dispensation from that. Plus, it's not like a European guy would hassle me on it. I also have never had a guy reject me on the basis of too much hair.

My company recently got an account on Instagram & I keep getting asked about my Instagram account by people in fashion. Realized I probably ought to start one myself. I got the app but never created one. I also have an app to clean up pictures & I made sure to get some of myself in my outfits (since you may never get your pics if you don't do that & it might take ages to get them so at least you have something for yourself, fans, whoever). I can do that along with pics I take of random things. Saw a few things recently I had to snap pictures of.

Maybe I should look into Hoot Suite so I can manage all these social media accounts. I know it costs money, which I do NOT like so hesitant there.

I also loaned my bra to a model who was wearing this one lace top & didn't have pasties. I would be horribly self-conscious about going out in a see through top with nothing covering me & figure it might mean "bye bye" to my career so I felt it was only right to help a sister out. Plus, she was cool to me & told me "it's just a fashion show" even having a "devil may care" attitude on the whole thing. I thought that was awesome so of course I'm going to help someone like that. Be a bitch to me & I'd laugh in your face.

I use pasties if I can't do a bra since I'm self-conscious about certain things showing. I knew if I didn't have them, I'd be flashing the audience (which wouldn't be good). I still believe in classiness & do have my professional reputation to consider.

Still also riding that wave of male attention in the wake of the bullshit. One guy I got a number from was particularly interesting. Let's just say he's in a role where you don't want to be starting anything. I also may be getting the opportunity to do something I've been dying to do & that will make me a very happy lady. What? I can't mention it yet.

Plus I'm aware of certain hating assholes who may still pry into my affairs even though I clearly don't write for them, could care less what they think & like it or not will still have their name unless they want to give me a few hundred dollars to change it (in NY state, you have to publish your name change in a newspaper along with paying the fee they require).

Also learned today about an industry friend being in a bad car accident with some other people (including the big name star he was opening for) & being in the hospital in stable but critical condition. I even saw the post people referenced where he talked about how much fun he was having 50 minutes before it happened. That's plain eerie. I also can't do more death & dying nor can I do anyone adding stress or hassle to my life. I've also been riding a wave of good news that I'd like to keep up as long as I can.

In closing, fuck the people who hate strong women & excuse the hell out of anyone who thinks I'm going to shrivel up and be a victim to please them. That's no way to live & no one should pull that act for anyone. What's the point?

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

A Sucky Weekend & Distractions

This past weekend was not one of greatness for me: Saturday marked 10 years to the day I had my first date with the jerky ex while Sunday was the 1 year anniversary of my father's death. Part of me really wanted to be alone those days & just wallow somewhere.

However, that didn't happen since I was given opportunity to do other things. On Saturday, I had a party I was covering for the blog I write for. I felt that since I'd only gone to one event for the festival I was covering I should make an effort to go to this party. Plus, I have a philosophy that you should go to as many different things as you can since you never know where you're going to meet some meaningful person in your life whether that's a professional contact who helps you in business or a new lover or your new best friend (since your old one was adding to the stress & strife of your life). I have sometimes gotten an intuition to go someplace & it paid off.

Case in point: one afternoon when I'd recently started my sophomore year of college, I decided to go see Scary Movie at the theater by myself. I was planning to take the bus then the train to get to the theater. Something just told me to go see it that day. I'd wanted to see it for ages & that sense kicked in.

I followed it & got a ride from none other than my freshman fling. We had a brief conversation. I remember telling him I'd lost my virginity over the summer; yes I talk about stuff like that with guys who dated me. I forgot if he dropped me off at the theater or the train station but regardless he saved me some travel time. I also enjoyed the conversation & had a more pleasant association with him in the future vs. the negative one I was left with as a freshman when he lost interest or decided I wasn't worthy as myself. If I saw him today, I'd first ask what he was doing up here but after that I think I'd just be indifferent & tell him what I've told everyone else about my lack of trust in any exclusive relationship.

I have wondered what my life would have been like had I not met the jerk & just went on my merry way. At that point, I was ready to give up on dating since the male population had pissed me off way too much. This one guy I went on a date with hadn't followed up with me & later told me he was moving. Then this other guy I had a friendship with springs the news on me that he got a girlfriend while dropping me like a hot potato.

Honestly, I do feel like it was a waste of over 9 years of my life to be involved with this guy. I could have had so much sex with that law school friend by now (if he hadn't lost interest or gotten bored, though you have to wonder what's wrong with some guy who loses interest or gets bored with ME since I'm not really all that boring). For that matter, I probably could have had so much sex with far hotter guys than my ex. I wouldn't have considered marriage since that wasn't my goal in life & I actively didn't want to. See how my younger self was right about it?

There is that school that says you get put in the place you're supposed to & things happen for good reason. I figure the end of this marriage means there's better out there for me & he wouldn't have been able to be there for me as things take off.

At least I still have some years left as a hottie. I couldn't imagine having to do this after a man had stolen the best years of my life & I could no longer enjoy the dating scene due to bad aging. I'd be left with really wanting to kill him then. I also don't like to spend my time on regrets & wishing for things you can't change. I look at today & dealing with that along with the future.

On Sunday, I had an event that was part of my new life. I got a little weepy a few times talking about my father & thinking about where I was a year ago that day. However, I figured wiser people were right in saying my father wouldn't want me to be off by myself that day.

By & large the weekend didn't turn out as bad as expected. I realized I've evolved from some of that past & the likes of my ex along with his hypocritical, scummy family won't be putting the likes of me down. More proof I'm an unstoppable force. In fact, I was typing an update to a friend yesterday & as I was doing this, Pandora was playing "Survivor" by Destiny's Child. I appreciated that irony.

Shocked the ex hasn't run home to Mommy & Daddy yet. "Responsible" wasn't exactly a word in his vocabulary and "self-starter" sure isn't. I do know at least 2 things for certain: he'll never be a millionaire unless he wins the lottery & he's never going to have a woman as good looking as me (certainly not better looking). Let him die in a pile of comics. That would be poetic.