One thing that stinks about the East Coast is the craptastically hot weather. During a portion of my freelance gig (which recently ended), we had a heat wave in NYC. Let me break down my commute on a hot day for those of you having the benefit of traveling in a bubble of flowing air conditioning for your entire lives:
1. Wake up in an air conditioned house & get dressed.
2. Walk outside in the heat to the nearest subway station.
3. Go to subway station located underground.
Note about the subway stations in NYC: about 95% of them do not have fans of any sort in them & very few are located outside. There is NO air conditioning at ALL in ANY of the NYC subway stations that I have been in (mostly in Manhattan & Brooklyn but if there's no A/C in Manhattan, I guarantee there is none in the outer boroughs where tourists aren't visiting). Most of these stations are underground, where the heat is worse than it is outside.
4. Get on an air conditioned train. If there are lots of people on it, as tends to happen in the morning commute, the effects of the air conditioning are reduced. Sometimes, this is reduced to a minimal degree particularly if you have to carry anything with you like a laptop or a purse.
5. Switch trains at another sweaty subway station. In fact, the one I had to switch at was so hot on the other train's platform you could feel heat rising off the platform and cascading over you.
6. Get on another air conditioned train. Remember though, if there's lots of people on it you will not be feeling much of it.
7. Get off the air conditioned train and traverse out in the heated subway station to go outside, where there might be a breeze but where it could very well be sticky outside.
8. FINALLY, get into the air conditioned building where you are working.
Two more pertinent details as related to me:
1. I have sensitive skin. If you look at it weird, it will turn red. If I get too hot, I get sweaty. If I'm sweaty, I get zits. Those zits are usually in uncomfortable places & hurt like Hell. I HATE getting zits. Zits also aren't good for your skin.
2. I'm from the Southeast. If the people I knew down there are any indication, Southerners are hard core when it comes to their air conditioning. Any place you go in the South will usually have central air conditioning or at least have booming cold air anyplace you go, including in a Southerner's car (this was the case in my hometown & Atlanta, at least). I don't know a single native Southerner of my generation who was too cheap to have air conditioning in the summer & it was actually a factor for me in deciding where to go to undergrad (the school with air conditioning in all the dorms won out). Even the ones who were older & didn't have the same access to A/C as us would take advantage of it or use it themselves.
Based on this, I've concluded that Southerners are hard core when it comes to air conditioning. Not having it for a Southerner is asking for trouble. Remember also that Southerners are known for being more aggressive than Northerners, particularly when it comes to protecting their families (per sociological studies); I wonder if anyone's determined that hotter temperatures & more humidity might be a factor. Heat does make people more irritable & I tend to be much meaner if it's hot outside. I might get into a fist fight with you if you give me shit on a heat wave day over my attire.
Keeping those factors in mind, I thank God that I'm not some typical attorney in a law firm. They don't have reasonable person dress codes & demand their attorneys to show up in uncomfortable & stifling clothing in triple digit heat for the sake of "the clients."
I had a horrible experience wearing a business suit for a job interview in NC. After I graduated from college & was deciding what to do, I tried to get paid employment in NC.
I had a job interview for a position with the Department of Social Services where my interview was in the summer (early July, in fact). When I showed up for that interview in my long sleeved business suit (Have you ever seen one with short sleeves, by the way? I haven't.), their air conditioning was out. Since I didn't want to make a bad impression in my tank top I was wearing underneath, I had to leave on my stifling jacket in a room with ZERO air conditioning. It was torture. I was thrilled to get back to my car when the interview was over. No one offered to have me take off the coat & no compassion for the situation was shown.
Despite all that, I thought I turned in a decent interview. However, they took forever to get back to me. The guy I'd been dating before graduating had invited me to go to Florida with him the same week as the interview so I was also irritated about missing out on that (though he was visiting his family & based on how he acted later, it was probably better I opted out). This guy had offered me a place to stay if I returned to Atlanta, which prompted me to leave at the end of the month.
I didn't hear back about this job until I was working a couple weeks at the law firm, only to learn I didn't get it. This was only one in a series of jobs I didn't get in my hometown so perhaps I made the right choice to leave, huh? Shows that not everyone should be staying in their hometowns. I knew I wasn't going to be happy there & it felt like all this failure with job searching (back in 2003) was a sign from the universe that I didn't belong there. I got my law firm job in two weeks while I didn't have a job in NC after 2 months, despite my best efforts looking and applying for work.
It was at that time that I came up with my "dumb ass" theory on employment. I still stand by it today.
So I have sworn that when my company has an office, we're instituting a reasonable person's dress code. It seems many of these businesses haven't bothered to consider legal ramifications of someone getting heat stroke trying to get to work b/c the company made them wear something too stifling for 100+ degree heat & they had to wait in a hot subway station for the next train (I did have to get off at a hot subway station once to get a different train when the train I was on had problems; it was crowded & there was no other train to transfer to nor any breeze of any kind in that area).
The first basic rule of a reasonable person's dress code is that the employees must be adults. I'd rather not employ little children myself considering if I wanted them, I'd go adopt some or have them myself. I don't know why more companies haven't followed suit.
My basic stance on a reasonable person's dress code is to dress reasonably for the weather without showing your private parts with equal opportunity for both sexes. If men get to go shirtless, then women get to wear bras or bikini tops; if it's too horrid, they can also go shirtless. The men also get to wear shorts.
This dress code would also state that everyone gets to wear comfortable shoes. You DO know that high heels cause collapsed arches. Personally, I'd rather not have collapsed arches. If that's not enough to scare you, watch Sheila E.'s episode of Unsung. She talks about how she ended up losing height & having all kinds of health problems due to her touring schedule & how her footwear was a contributing factor.
Of course, this dress code would be optional. If you want to die in the heat or get collapsed arches, be my guest. You just won't get to sue my company over it since you made the voluntary choice to dress that way. If the air conditioning is blasting, you need to bring a sweater for the office; I always do that in case I get cold & will wear it as needed.
As for clients, a free tip: you want people to be comfortable & in a good mood when you meet with them. You do NOT want to meet with me when it's triple digit temperatures outside & I've been forced to endure stifling train platforms and gotten super sweaty on my way to the office. There are certain environments I make sure to stay clear of since it would be a disaster for all concerned such as working in small confined spaces on hot days.
Court would also be a place that should be doing this but we all know that's never going to happen unless we get some much younger judges who don't like dying in the heat. We CAN, however, start setting this up in private businesses. If the tech people were able to get casual dress into the corporate/office workplace, then we can surely get a reasonable person's dress code in there as well. Especially in light of global warming & the documented long term damage of high heels to women's feet, legs and general health.
Honestly, I think higher ups in companies not instituting this stuff go to work in NYC via cabs, personal drivers, any method not involving the subway & live in a cocoon of constant cold air since only a sadist piece of garbage would demand someone to show up in sleeves on a heat wave day. That person should be forced to wait at the 4/5/6 downtown bound platform in Union Square during morning rush hour during every single hot day in NYC for 3 of the hottest summers. That would teach a lesson.
Also, if you are a bus driver & you don't cut on the air conditioning at full blast when it's over 80 degrees, prepare for me to loudly comment on how you're going to cause a lawsuit against the MTA b/c of someone getting heat stroke (and I will make sure those aggrieved people get to sue the pants off you by finding them a lawyer & informing them of how quickly they have to file the proper paperwork). If it's a heat wave day & you have no air conditioning on, be prepared to die a slow & painful death. If the heat doesn't get you, I will.
I wonder if my theory on Southerners is true. You'd think every single business in NYC run by a Southern transplant would have A/C & then some but I don't know for sure if that's the case. I'll tell you this: I would deal with that expense if I were one of these business owners since I'm not spending time in an unbearably hot space. Society as a whole doesn't want me doing that either & the lawsuit will probably cost more.
Showing posts with label job interview. Show all posts
Showing posts with label job interview. Show all posts
Friday, July 6, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
How a Life Turns Around & Some Mini-Rants
When we last left The Angry Redheaded Lawyer, she was in a serious funk over perceived stagnation in her career. I'm not the sort of person who does well at waiting on things; I never have. This is probably why I took a wheeled suitcase to do grocery shopping when I didn't have a license/car & no one would give me a ride. The wheeled suitcase was so I wouldn't have the situation I had another time when I tried carrying a ton of groceries home & had shoulder pain for 2 days.
To kill my boredom & do more constructive things, I signed up with an acting coach and decided to see about taking some acting classes at an affordable price & good schedule not just for the sake of beefing up my performance resume but also to save my life (mentally speaking). I love performing, almost never get to do it and felt a class would at a minimum give me something to do as well as a forum.
As I was preparing to just seek out classes & chill out for a bit (with my husband telling me he continues to support my endeavors & my being happy in my own life), I get an out of the blue e-mail about a job I'd long since given up on. At least my interviewer for it did bother to tell me straight out that (presumably) I had no chance since I wasn't getting a follow up interview. Unlike many potential employers I encountered, I appreciated at least getting an honest answer where I've had many who never bothered responding to such follow ups. Though a part of me was like "Well, why not just tell me directly I suck?"
I figured that this rejection was just further confirmation that I needed to keep myself in the entertainment industry since people there actually (gasp!) respect me & listen to what I have to say. I'm telling you, if you feel persecuted as a lawyer you should work in entertainment since people will kiss up to lawyers in this business & be nice to you. Plus, I believe in giving back what you get from people & if someone's not causing trouble with you or harming you in some fashion, there's no reason to start conflicts. If I'm nasty to someone, there's a good reason for it.
Just as I resign myself to pursuing acting classes & chilling while waiting on film company stuff to happen, I get an out of the blue follow up on that job I thought I'd been long rejected for. Got an in-person interview for it tomorrow. I feel like if I'm going to do legal recruiting work, that's the best & probably only setting for me to do it in. It seems like the setting where I'm most likely to succeed and where my personality could be an asset vs. something I have to cover up like a pimple on the forehead.
Then, I get contacted by someone who wants to talk with me over my expertise in this industry. If you're a lawyer w/some experience (especially if your career is unusual), I think it's critical to talk to the up & comers + provide guidance when they ask. I like getting it myself & have found very few people doing what I'm doing. Not to mention helping the profession as a whole & all that good stuff. So that boosted my self-esteem some. I always try to think of things I'd have liked to hear when I was in that situation & mention facts I had to discover on my own, with very little guidance (especially from attorneys).
I don't view up & comers as competition since eventually they're going to be doing what I'm doing (no one lives forever) and I think it's better for all involved for them to have some support so they can do their best + generally be more competent for the client base. Plus, the entertainment field is so based on the personal that you have to forge your own way here. You have to find your own cheerleaders, your own fans/army/angels/whatever you call those supporters who trust you & believe in you.
Not to mention that if you care about what you're doing, you should be doing your part to raise the curve for everyone in it. I don't want poorly trained or mentored attorneys my age tainting the field & making me look bad by association.
So, we'll see where this interview goes. I hope I'll continue to be treated as a professional & not a number or groveling peon. At least if I'm not, I can just conclude it wouldn't be a fit and be on my way.
If things go bad on this, though I'm probably not going to pursue "traditional" legal stuff. Recently, I had family members dare to suggest I go pursue BigLaw work. I'm like, "Thanks so much for your concern about MY life or MY feelings on the whole thing." How about suggesting I apply to the local strip club while we're at it, if my making a ton of money is all you care about?!
Aside from this new development to expand my resume & general career portfolio, there are some rants that need to be made.
First off, I'm disgusted with the amount of musicians on my subway train who lately have some woman parade around with a baby strapped to her chest while carrying a hat or whatever to collect money in. This REALLY pisses me off as the auntie of a toddler whose now pregnant mother would never be doing that even though she probably needs the money much more than some of these folks. If my sister isn't going around in public panhandling with her pregnancy & her child strapped to her + managing in life, I have zero sympathy for anyone else doing it. Have they not heard of WIC?
Chances are, I know someone who's been in a comparable or worse situation & they're not here breaking the law by panhandling to others or trying to whine about their social condition while doing nothing to change it or taking personal accountability.
I don't like to see beggars asking me for money considering I have negative net worth. They don't have non-dischargeable student loans to contend with. Talk to me about needing money when you have student loans.
The moral here is that no matter how bad you think you have it, there's ALWAYS someone who's got it worse than you. We can play "Whose life is worse?" until the end of time & that basic fact will not change.
Second, take a look at this. The comments are mostly "Oh, she looks like a skank & that's unacceptable. She's being marked for like." and all this other crap.
Okay, as someone who actually works in the entertainment industry, knows people in modeling & the like I think I'm a bit more qualified to speak on the issue of entertainment standards than some of these two bit 1950s holdovers who claim these pics are appropriate for porno. I personally had no issue with the first one. It strikes me as something you'd see as an ad for the old 90210 series. I think the second one is more risque & I just don't favor that so much. I wouldn't consider it porn material or appropriate for an escort ad (too tame) but maybe something between mainstream stuff & porn. This coming from the woman married to the man who thinks Maxim is the magazine equivalent of a female tease (all talk of sex & no action).
Now I wouldn't personally do these poses & at 18, I wouldn't have submitted such photos of myself to my school yearbook but that's because I was a more modest person, had a strict mother & I think it would be hard for me to look trashy since I'm more of an artist + have a general demeanor/personality/attributes that counteracts any "whore" image that might result. I also don't think I'd be posting such pictures on LinkedIn unless maybe you're trying to get modeling jobs but this is tame compared to what I've seen. You'd expect ass cheeks or nipples to be showing with all the fuss made over this; I think THAT'S trashy.
This particular conflict should be decided by the students & ONLY the students. Not some old fart administrators stuck in the 1950s or bitter old women who hate this chick for having the looks they never had. Mores have greatly changed in our modern age & I think the school deserves to leave it up to the students when they refuse to spring for senior photographs & expect the students to spend their own money to come up with their own pictures. We had senior photographs taken by the school; none of this "Come up with it yourself" stuff. Hence, this situation never came up.
For those saying "You have to follow the school's dress code" for pictures consider that most yearbooks do have out of school candid shots. I even remember some shots of students at the beach being in our yearbooks (I don't recall exactly what people were wearing but 2 piece suits are generally the norm for women at the beach). No one got molested or had a heart attack. Can we also not just do some cropping? We didn't get full body shots in our senior pictures & we had about 150 people in my graduating class. Just make it a headshot or three quarter.
Let's also talk about the cheerleader uniforms & the like. Some of those outfits are downright scandalous & I even noticed this as a high school student (coincidentally, many of the cheerleaders got away with dress code violations often though some of them were actually nice to me & I had to dress more conservatively then so I didn't go raise Hell about it).
If employers wish to use high school yearbook pictures against folk, maybe they should also refuse to hire anyone who was a high school cheerleader, dancer, majorette, etc. There's a need not to have long attire for it but some of the shortness is for nothing but male titillation, plain and simple. We're not stupid, school admins!!! We know you're dressing kids up like that so you can get attendance at the games. How many ugly cheerleaders & dance folk have YOU seen on the fields?
At my high school talent show senior year, we had a fashion show for part of it and it did involve swimsuits (one piece but still, bathing suits; even our harpy Assistant Principal didn't object to it while intervening on people's raunchier dance acts). I was in the evening gown part. I also had to wear a bathing suit onstage for a play I was in along with my classmate who was in the same scene. I got to wear shorts & a coverup since I was the geeky, pale character & it was part of the performance (that part was very true to life for me at that time) but my friend didn't. Should we have never taken pictures of these shows? Should they have been banned, you Victorian Era cheerleaders??
Does the idea of such a hiring ban sound stupid to you? It should. I've handled HR tasks & it sounds very stupid to me, even defying law firm associate hiring logic.
It's as stupid as banning contraceptives or abortion, thinking it will stop people from having sex. Are you that dumb?! Has society degraded so much in brain power that some kind of mass cleansing is in order? It goes without saying in politics but I wonder about this in terms of the general citizenry in America. Even the more hardcore religious types I know realize you can't force morality onto others & it's a bad thing to have more unwanted kids in the world.
Please, for the love of God will some safes fall from the sky & give idiots like this a good thump on the noggin? A little animated justice would be great, especially for the morons who think they can put toothpaste back into the tube of repression & leave women barefoot and pregnant while they bind their feet and squeeze into their corsets.
To kill my boredom & do more constructive things, I signed up with an acting coach and decided to see about taking some acting classes at an affordable price & good schedule not just for the sake of beefing up my performance resume but also to save my life (mentally speaking). I love performing, almost never get to do it and felt a class would at a minimum give me something to do as well as a forum.
As I was preparing to just seek out classes & chill out for a bit (with my husband telling me he continues to support my endeavors & my being happy in my own life), I get an out of the blue e-mail about a job I'd long since given up on. At least my interviewer for it did bother to tell me straight out that (presumably) I had no chance since I wasn't getting a follow up interview. Unlike many potential employers I encountered, I appreciated at least getting an honest answer where I've had many who never bothered responding to such follow ups. Though a part of me was like "Well, why not just tell me directly I suck?"
I figured that this rejection was just further confirmation that I needed to keep myself in the entertainment industry since people there actually (gasp!) respect me & listen to what I have to say. I'm telling you, if you feel persecuted as a lawyer you should work in entertainment since people will kiss up to lawyers in this business & be nice to you. Plus, I believe in giving back what you get from people & if someone's not causing trouble with you or harming you in some fashion, there's no reason to start conflicts. If I'm nasty to someone, there's a good reason for it.
Just as I resign myself to pursuing acting classes & chilling while waiting on film company stuff to happen, I get an out of the blue follow up on that job I thought I'd been long rejected for. Got an in-person interview for it tomorrow. I feel like if I'm going to do legal recruiting work, that's the best & probably only setting for me to do it in. It seems like the setting where I'm most likely to succeed and where my personality could be an asset vs. something I have to cover up like a pimple on the forehead.
Then, I get contacted by someone who wants to talk with me over my expertise in this industry. If you're a lawyer w/some experience (especially if your career is unusual), I think it's critical to talk to the up & comers + provide guidance when they ask. I like getting it myself & have found very few people doing what I'm doing. Not to mention helping the profession as a whole & all that good stuff. So that boosted my self-esteem some. I always try to think of things I'd have liked to hear when I was in that situation & mention facts I had to discover on my own, with very little guidance (especially from attorneys).
I don't view up & comers as competition since eventually they're going to be doing what I'm doing (no one lives forever) and I think it's better for all involved for them to have some support so they can do their best + generally be more competent for the client base. Plus, the entertainment field is so based on the personal that you have to forge your own way here. You have to find your own cheerleaders, your own fans/army/angels/whatever you call those supporters who trust you & believe in you.
Not to mention that if you care about what you're doing, you should be doing your part to raise the curve for everyone in it. I don't want poorly trained or mentored attorneys my age tainting the field & making me look bad by association.
So, we'll see where this interview goes. I hope I'll continue to be treated as a professional & not a number or groveling peon. At least if I'm not, I can just conclude it wouldn't be a fit and be on my way.
If things go bad on this, though I'm probably not going to pursue "traditional" legal stuff. Recently, I had family members dare to suggest I go pursue BigLaw work. I'm like, "Thanks so much for your concern about MY life or MY feelings on the whole thing." How about suggesting I apply to the local strip club while we're at it, if my making a ton of money is all you care about?!
Aside from this new development to expand my resume & general career portfolio, there are some rants that need to be made.
First off, I'm disgusted with the amount of musicians on my subway train who lately have some woman parade around with a baby strapped to her chest while carrying a hat or whatever to collect money in. This REALLY pisses me off as the auntie of a toddler whose now pregnant mother would never be doing that even though she probably needs the money much more than some of these folks. If my sister isn't going around in public panhandling with her pregnancy & her child strapped to her + managing in life, I have zero sympathy for anyone else doing it. Have they not heard of WIC?
Chances are, I know someone who's been in a comparable or worse situation & they're not here breaking the law by panhandling to others or trying to whine about their social condition while doing nothing to change it or taking personal accountability.
I don't like to see beggars asking me for money considering I have negative net worth. They don't have non-dischargeable student loans to contend with. Talk to me about needing money when you have student loans.
The moral here is that no matter how bad you think you have it, there's ALWAYS someone who's got it worse than you. We can play "Whose life is worse?" until the end of time & that basic fact will not change.
Second, take a look at this. The comments are mostly "Oh, she looks like a skank & that's unacceptable. She's being marked for like." and all this other crap.
Okay, as someone who actually works in the entertainment industry, knows people in modeling & the like I think I'm a bit more qualified to speak on the issue of entertainment standards than some of these two bit 1950s holdovers who claim these pics are appropriate for porno. I personally had no issue with the first one. It strikes me as something you'd see as an ad for the old 90210 series. I think the second one is more risque & I just don't favor that so much. I wouldn't consider it porn material or appropriate for an escort ad (too tame) but maybe something between mainstream stuff & porn. This coming from the woman married to the man who thinks Maxim is the magazine equivalent of a female tease (all talk of sex & no action).
Now I wouldn't personally do these poses & at 18, I wouldn't have submitted such photos of myself to my school yearbook but that's because I was a more modest person, had a strict mother & I think it would be hard for me to look trashy since I'm more of an artist + have a general demeanor/personality/attributes that counteracts any "whore" image that might result. I also don't think I'd be posting such pictures on LinkedIn unless maybe you're trying to get modeling jobs but this is tame compared to what I've seen. You'd expect ass cheeks or nipples to be showing with all the fuss made over this; I think THAT'S trashy.
This particular conflict should be decided by the students & ONLY the students. Not some old fart administrators stuck in the 1950s or bitter old women who hate this chick for having the looks they never had. Mores have greatly changed in our modern age & I think the school deserves to leave it up to the students when they refuse to spring for senior photographs & expect the students to spend their own money to come up with their own pictures. We had senior photographs taken by the school; none of this "Come up with it yourself" stuff. Hence, this situation never came up.
For those saying "You have to follow the school's dress code" for pictures consider that most yearbooks do have out of school candid shots. I even remember some shots of students at the beach being in our yearbooks (I don't recall exactly what people were wearing but 2 piece suits are generally the norm for women at the beach). No one got molested or had a heart attack. Can we also not just do some cropping? We didn't get full body shots in our senior pictures & we had about 150 people in my graduating class. Just make it a headshot or three quarter.
Let's also talk about the cheerleader uniforms & the like. Some of those outfits are downright scandalous & I even noticed this as a high school student (coincidentally, many of the cheerleaders got away with dress code violations often though some of them were actually nice to me & I had to dress more conservatively then so I didn't go raise Hell about it).
If employers wish to use high school yearbook pictures against folk, maybe they should also refuse to hire anyone who was a high school cheerleader, dancer, majorette, etc. There's a need not to have long attire for it but some of the shortness is for nothing but male titillation, plain and simple. We're not stupid, school admins!!! We know you're dressing kids up like that so you can get attendance at the games. How many ugly cheerleaders & dance folk have YOU seen on the fields?
At my high school talent show senior year, we had a fashion show for part of it and it did involve swimsuits (one piece but still, bathing suits; even our harpy Assistant Principal didn't object to it while intervening on people's raunchier dance acts). I was in the evening gown part. I also had to wear a bathing suit onstage for a play I was in along with my classmate who was in the same scene. I got to wear shorts & a coverup since I was the geeky, pale character & it was part of the performance (that part was very true to life for me at that time) but my friend didn't. Should we have never taken pictures of these shows? Should they have been banned, you Victorian Era cheerleaders??
Does the idea of such a hiring ban sound stupid to you? It should. I've handled HR tasks & it sounds very stupid to me, even defying law firm associate hiring logic.
It's as stupid as banning contraceptives or abortion, thinking it will stop people from having sex. Are you that dumb?! Has society degraded so much in brain power that some kind of mass cleansing is in order? It goes without saying in politics but I wonder about this in terms of the general citizenry in America. Even the more hardcore religious types I know realize you can't force morality onto others & it's a bad thing to have more unwanted kids in the world.
Please, for the love of God will some safes fall from the sky & give idiots like this a good thump on the noggin? A little animated justice would be great, especially for the morons who think they can put toothpaste back into the tube of repression & leave women barefoot and pregnant while they bind their feet and squeeze into their corsets.
Monday, November 28, 2011
The Great Decision on Laser Eye Surgery is Now Settled
Despite a lifelong love of carrots, I still managed to inherit the cruddy eyesight from my father's side of the family. Granted I shouldn't complain too much about inheriting things from that side considering my grandmother was allegedly Miss Atlanta GA back in the day (though I can't prove it since I don't know her maiden name or her first name; you might be able to believe it based on my looks or those of my aunt's when she was younger--I apparently look similar to her as a young woman).
I also got the better bra size (in fact, I'm the Dolly Parton of my immediate family even though I'm not a size that caused backaches or childhood awkwardness). And yes, despite not being flat chested or fat as a young woman, I still couldn't buy a date with any guy I had a crush on. I'm pretty sure I could have shown up naked & still gotten laughed at.
One fact about eyesight that you non-intellectual types will be happy to hear: if you have to do a lot of reading for school, your vision degrades. I was a smart kid when I was younger so my vision was probably made worse by my having to study. I knew someone in college who once told us that her vision improved after she graduated and didn't have to study all the time.
Now you may remember reading that I didn't get a driver's license until I was 20. One of the reasons for this was the fact that I was being required to get glasses for driving. I fucking HATE how I look in glasses. Honestly, I feel I can't pull that look off & think I look like my father in drag if I wear them. To this day, you'll almost never see me wearing them in public (sunglasses don't count since they hide the eyes).
My husband says I look good in them but he looks at me with love in his eyes so I feel he's biased (yes, I know I'm lucky to have a man who does look at me in that way instead of seeing me as a crazy, pale psycho covered in freckles). I've yet to get an opinion from someone who works in the entertainment industry & has to evaluate people based on their looks.
Nor have I gotten an opinion from a law school friend who still seems to have eyes for me despite the fact that he doesn't stand a chance against my hubby. He's been rather blunt on women's looks (I've heard him do it) so if he told me I looked good, I'd be forced to take his word for it. You may wonder why this guy is still a friend. It's mostly because he reminds me a lot of my single self & because I don't feel he's using me for anything. He was actually nice to me in law school & didn't seem to have an issue with me not being from some millionaire family. Plus he wasn't a grind & finding people in law school who aren't obsessed with the whole rat race is like trying to find a pearl in a bed of oysters.
In college, I started wearing contacts. My vision had been getting progressively worse until perhaps in more recent years when I got out of law school & didn't have to do so much studying. Until my eye doctor told me I had to take it easy wearing contacts, I would never the glasses I got under my husband's "eh" vision plan (I didn't even have glasses that were the prescription I needed when I was in college). You can only get a check-up every 2 years & they don't cover contacts or the contact lens exam at the eye doctor's office. I'm used to getting yearly check-ups and coverage for contacts. Plus, because I don't like how I look in glasses I don't want to spend a bunch of money on them.
Maybe if I saw leopard print frames or something, I'd reconsider but having me wear them full time would be an impossible sale. I feel I'd also be living up to some nerd stereotype.
I also hate that my own glasses are leaving a nasty imprint on the side of my nose where they sit on your face. Not like I don't have enough skin issues, right?
Amidst this background, I definitely considered laser eye surgery. I'd heard a lot about LASIK and thought "Hmmm, that might be a good idea. I wouldn't have to keep paying for contacts or wear glasses." However, didn't really know anyone who'd had it and still had success from it years later. I heard about it not being very effective, dangerous side effects from it & the like.
Recently, I saw online deals to get a dramatic discount on LASIK. I saw one from a second provider today (one who I didn't learn had been sued for medical malpractice) & thought long and hard about it. Seeing this site today changed my mind. Seeing that list of reasons not to get it clinched my choice for good.
What good does it do me to get eye surgery when my vision is just going to go to pot in 10 years or so anyway? And if I STILL have to wear glasses afterwards, there's zero point to it. Seems like there's too much risk here & it hasn't been perfected.
While I'm still going to complain about paying for contacts (part of the reason I got a tubal was to avoid constantly paying for birth control pills or dealing with riskier methods), I guess I'll have to deal with it until I get decent vision coverage again. I can get old with grace but I'd rather do it when I actually look old instead of when people are mistaking me for a law student, a college student or even a high school kid. When I was at Monday Night Law last week, multiple people thought I was a student. I've been licensed in NY for 4 years now. It's not enough that I'm 10 years old in law land. Do I have to be 5 now?!
I kind of like that this is a decision I can put to rest. For the record, glasses don't make me look older if you think this vanity is connected to an obsession with looking young. I actually wanted to be older when I was little & if you card me for something 18 & up (absent a policy where everyone's getting carded), I get offended. It's more like "I look as I do, I can't change it & society idealizes it so I may as well embrace it."
Now for some sleep to prepare for that job interview tomorrow. Seems that in the grand tradition of jobs that fell through, the one I got earlier this month is going the same route. What else is it when you do what you're supposed to, no one follows up with you & no one is reachable by phone or e-mail? It's the stuff that makes for great stories & total life frustration.
I also got the better bra size (in fact, I'm the Dolly Parton of my immediate family even though I'm not a size that caused backaches or childhood awkwardness). And yes, despite not being flat chested or fat as a young woman, I still couldn't buy a date with any guy I had a crush on. I'm pretty sure I could have shown up naked & still gotten laughed at.
One fact about eyesight that you non-intellectual types will be happy to hear: if you have to do a lot of reading for school, your vision degrades. I was a smart kid when I was younger so my vision was probably made worse by my having to study. I knew someone in college who once told us that her vision improved after she graduated and didn't have to study all the time.
Now you may remember reading that I didn't get a driver's license until I was 20. One of the reasons for this was the fact that I was being required to get glasses for driving. I fucking HATE how I look in glasses. Honestly, I feel I can't pull that look off & think I look like my father in drag if I wear them. To this day, you'll almost never see me wearing them in public (sunglasses don't count since they hide the eyes).
My husband says I look good in them but he looks at me with love in his eyes so I feel he's biased (yes, I know I'm lucky to have a man who does look at me in that way instead of seeing me as a crazy, pale psycho covered in freckles). I've yet to get an opinion from someone who works in the entertainment industry & has to evaluate people based on their looks.
Nor have I gotten an opinion from a law school friend who still seems to have eyes for me despite the fact that he doesn't stand a chance against my hubby. He's been rather blunt on women's looks (I've heard him do it) so if he told me I looked good, I'd be forced to take his word for it. You may wonder why this guy is still a friend. It's mostly because he reminds me a lot of my single self & because I don't feel he's using me for anything. He was actually nice to me in law school & didn't seem to have an issue with me not being from some millionaire family. Plus he wasn't a grind & finding people in law school who aren't obsessed with the whole rat race is like trying to find a pearl in a bed of oysters.
In college, I started wearing contacts. My vision had been getting progressively worse until perhaps in more recent years when I got out of law school & didn't have to do so much studying. Until my eye doctor told me I had to take it easy wearing contacts, I would never the glasses I got under my husband's "eh" vision plan (I didn't even have glasses that were the prescription I needed when I was in college). You can only get a check-up every 2 years & they don't cover contacts or the contact lens exam at the eye doctor's office. I'm used to getting yearly check-ups and coverage for contacts. Plus, because I don't like how I look in glasses I don't want to spend a bunch of money on them.
Maybe if I saw leopard print frames or something, I'd reconsider but having me wear them full time would be an impossible sale. I feel I'd also be living up to some nerd stereotype.
I also hate that my own glasses are leaving a nasty imprint on the side of my nose where they sit on your face. Not like I don't have enough skin issues, right?
Amidst this background, I definitely considered laser eye surgery. I'd heard a lot about LASIK and thought "Hmmm, that might be a good idea. I wouldn't have to keep paying for contacts or wear glasses." However, didn't really know anyone who'd had it and still had success from it years later. I heard about it not being very effective, dangerous side effects from it & the like.
Recently, I saw online deals to get a dramatic discount on LASIK. I saw one from a second provider today (one who I didn't learn had been sued for medical malpractice) & thought long and hard about it. Seeing this site today changed my mind. Seeing that list of reasons not to get it clinched my choice for good.
What good does it do me to get eye surgery when my vision is just going to go to pot in 10 years or so anyway? And if I STILL have to wear glasses afterwards, there's zero point to it. Seems like there's too much risk here & it hasn't been perfected.
While I'm still going to complain about paying for contacts (part of the reason I got a tubal was to avoid constantly paying for birth control pills or dealing with riskier methods), I guess I'll have to deal with it until I get decent vision coverage again. I can get old with grace but I'd rather do it when I actually look old instead of when people are mistaking me for a law student, a college student or even a high school kid. When I was at Monday Night Law last week, multiple people thought I was a student. I've been licensed in NY for 4 years now. It's not enough that I'm 10 years old in law land. Do I have to be 5 now?!
I kind of like that this is a decision I can put to rest. For the record, glasses don't make me look older if you think this vanity is connected to an obsession with looking young. I actually wanted to be older when I was little & if you card me for something 18 & up (absent a policy where everyone's getting carded), I get offended. It's more like "I look as I do, I can't change it & society idealizes it so I may as well embrace it."
Now for some sleep to prepare for that job interview tomorrow. Seems that in the grand tradition of jobs that fell through, the one I got earlier this month is going the same route. What else is it when you do what you're supposed to, no one follows up with you & no one is reachable by phone or e-mail? It's the stuff that makes for great stories & total life frustration.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Busy Couple of Weeks
So the next couple of weeks will be busy for me. First off, have a job interview on Tuesday for a job I'm actually not overqualified for + would want to do. Wednesday is the NYC premiere of "Uptown," a feature film from One Way. If you get a chance, see this movie. It's really good.
Saturday I'm going to go visit family in NC for a week. Scary that my NC views may just increase if I use their computer to write any entries here. Not sure if I will b/c my week's going to be pretty booked up. Right now, I'm looking forward to having some food items there that you can't get here. Seeing family & friends who live there is a no-brainer. Some of these people should visit ME, though (hint, hint).
NYC's a fun place to visit & my husband + me know of decent, low cost things to do that won't be crawling w/tons of tourists. If you walk down the street in a touristy area like Penn Station or Times Square, you can pick out the locals & the tourists pretty easily. The tourists will stand in the middle of the sidewalk, marvel at things & walk very slowly while the locals just walk in the bike lane to get past everyone. The locals also walk a lot faster on the whole. If you want to get someplace quick, just follow the locals.
Anyway, food items I plan to see about having:
1. Real hushpuppies: Whatever you do, don't go to ACME Restaurant to get them. I was very, VERY disappointed. My family knows of places that have good ones so I'm definitely taking advantage while I'm down there.
2. Chick-Fil-A: There's no official one in NYC (as in, open year round & has a full menu) & driving to Paramus is not something I can do every single weekend. Tolls & gas $ add up; I + plenty of other city residents would like to see one here, damn it! This place is healthier & I don't like their chain competitors.
3. Steak & Shake: Haven't gotten to go in years since hubby & I went on vacation to FL & drove from FL to my parents' house in NC. I'll have to see if I can still eat it or not.
4. Krispy Kreme doughnuts: their headquarters are in my hometown, you know. I'll be going to another doughnut shop as well but I do plan to ask about this since I'm not sure if the store at Penn Station will be open when I have to get the train. With my luck, it won't be.
I still have to think of more stuff but visiting has more appeal than it used to since my family moved to a different area, got a house w/room in it & generally seem much happier. I can't live there again since I'd miss NYC too much & my husband + I would fit in as well as Joe Pesci & Marisa Tomei's characters fit into Alabama in My Cousin Vinny. I can visit for about a week, maybe 2 tops but that's my limit.
Yes, even though I'm from there originally I do feel like that. At least my friends & family that I deal with aren't pushing motherhood on me; I'm very happy being an auntie. Ideally, the cool auntie who always has adventures w/stories & fun gifts to give.
Seriously, I'm still mad about the hushpuppies. That experience has stopped me from trying any more in NYC & don't care to fry food in oil at home. Too many stories about serious injury & I like not getting burned, thanks. I swear, if I get bad ones again I'd probably have to ask for the cook's head on a silver platter.
Now going to get some water & hopefully get some sleep. I'm not really tired right now but maybe that's b/c it's a bit warm in my house.
Saturday I'm going to go visit family in NC for a week. Scary that my NC views may just increase if I use their computer to write any entries here. Not sure if I will b/c my week's going to be pretty booked up. Right now, I'm looking forward to having some food items there that you can't get here. Seeing family & friends who live there is a no-brainer. Some of these people should visit ME, though (hint, hint).
NYC's a fun place to visit & my husband + me know of decent, low cost things to do that won't be crawling w/tons of tourists. If you walk down the street in a touristy area like Penn Station or Times Square, you can pick out the locals & the tourists pretty easily. The tourists will stand in the middle of the sidewalk, marvel at things & walk very slowly while the locals just walk in the bike lane to get past everyone. The locals also walk a lot faster on the whole. If you want to get someplace quick, just follow the locals.
Anyway, food items I plan to see about having:
1. Real hushpuppies: Whatever you do, don't go to ACME Restaurant to get them. I was very, VERY disappointed. My family knows of places that have good ones so I'm definitely taking advantage while I'm down there.
2. Chick-Fil-A: There's no official one in NYC (as in, open year round & has a full menu) & driving to Paramus is not something I can do every single weekend. Tolls & gas $ add up; I + plenty of other city residents would like to see one here, damn it! This place is healthier & I don't like their chain competitors.
3. Steak & Shake: Haven't gotten to go in years since hubby & I went on vacation to FL & drove from FL to my parents' house in NC. I'll have to see if I can still eat it or not.
4. Krispy Kreme doughnuts: their headquarters are in my hometown, you know. I'll be going to another doughnut shop as well but I do plan to ask about this since I'm not sure if the store at Penn Station will be open when I have to get the train. With my luck, it won't be.
I still have to think of more stuff but visiting has more appeal than it used to since my family moved to a different area, got a house w/room in it & generally seem much happier. I can't live there again since I'd miss NYC too much & my husband + I would fit in as well as Joe Pesci & Marisa Tomei's characters fit into Alabama in My Cousin Vinny. I can visit for about a week, maybe 2 tops but that's my limit.
Yes, even though I'm from there originally I do feel like that. At least my friends & family that I deal with aren't pushing motherhood on me; I'm very happy being an auntie. Ideally, the cool auntie who always has adventures w/stories & fun gifts to give.
Seriously, I'm still mad about the hushpuppies. That experience has stopped me from trying any more in NYC & don't care to fry food in oil at home. Too many stories about serious injury & I like not getting burned, thanks. I swear, if I get bad ones again I'd probably have to ask for the cook's head on a silver platter.
Now going to get some water & hopefully get some sleep. I'm not really tired right now but maybe that's b/c it's a bit warm in my house.
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