Hey Female Lawyers! Want to Be a Stripper??

Then contact this guy:

$$$ Female Attorneys Wanted $$$ (Midtown)
Date: 2011-01-31, 2:03PM EST
Reply to: jaimecheetahclub@gmail.com [Errors when replying to ads?]

NOT MAKING ENOUGH $$$ AT YOUR DAY JOB? NOT HAVING FUN WHILE YOU'RE WORKING? EARN THOUSANDS WEEKLY WORKING A FEW HOURS A NIGHT GIVING LAP DANCES AND LEGAL ADVICE FOR UPSCALE GENTLEMAN'S CLUB LOCATED IN TIME SQUARE.
SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY. ATTACH PHOTO AND BIO. PLEASE CONTACT JAIME

* Compensation: $$$
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2190132000

"Jamie" deserves some points for his originality & forward thinking. He's apparently read the law school scam blogs or realized that being a lawyer is not what TV shows make you think it is. Bravo!

However, I do wonder if he's going to pay these female lawyers more money than he would to the women who aren't. You know the clientele won't & that's got nothing to do with the environment where the legal advice is coming from. It has to do with people generally being assholes who feel entitled to free services.

You know, maybe that sort of idea could be franchised. That would get under the skin of the state licensing board, eh? Even if you heavily banned & cracked down on drugs, prostitution and other bad things associated w/these kinds of clubs you'd still get the whiny religious types moaning in your face. At least you'd be helping solve the attorney unemployment problem since lots of new ones can't get jobs.

Funny part is I would have become a stripper if I'd had to in law school & came pretty close to having to do it at one point (no one was going to make me have to go back to NC & a life I'd have hated). My undergrad sure made me feel like I ought to become one with all the charging money they knew my family couldn't afford. Anyone daring to stop me, I'd have said "What else can I do to pay law school tuition of tens of thousands of dollars in a few weeks?" If you don't have an answer, you get to shut up. When someone's in dire straits & you've never been there, you don't get to subject that person to your pious comments, especially about God's condemnation of their soul.

However, if you're not stripping for the money, I wonder about your mental state. Everyone knows it's not a glamorous job & there's lots of degradation. Why go through that if you're not desperately poor? Drug addiction, perhaps?

I have many more rants but this I just had to point out.

General Musings, Part 3

Sometimes, I accumulate all these links I want to rant about then realize I have too freaking many. So, here we go again:

Apparently, this is what all the umemployed lawyers should be doing. However, let's think for a few minutes on this.

What if you're not working in the criminal arena? And will the FBI hire new attorneys?

What if you don't want to live in DC or any old place in the country?

Finally, I don't see anyone who knows me really being happy with the idea of me having access to weapons & other things you get from being in the FBI. I think they'd view it a bit like handing a machine gun and keys to a tank to Travis Bickle. There's only going to be disaster from that.

I like how Jason Latshaw thinks but perhaps he should hang around some bitter, unemployed attorneys who lack career prospects before endorsing their membership into a government organization responsible for bringing wrongdoers to justice. If some of these attorneys haven't become wrongdoers yet, I think they will pretty soon out of economic necessity, anger or psychological problems. I witnessed some of this firsthand when I did my first and only document review assignment.

Okay, pretty much all of mine & my husband's exes are, in fact, crazy. What do you call someone who:

* Puts hair clips on a cat's tail to discipline him
* Demands their significant other to immediately end all friendships with members of the opposite sex existing long before the relationship started
* Tries to elicit sympathy from your family members by discussing your relationship problems with them instead of his/her own family
* Tells you "I want to get married." & is only dating you for that reason
* Claims he/she wants to be a musician and live in New York City but then moves to Arizona and makes zero effort to find a band, practice or perform for anyone
* Sleeps with everyone in a major city (male & female) while lusting after a military member stationed overseas & dating you
* Still calls you after you mention that the person brought roaches into your parents' home
* Gets you soap as a Christmas gift when you shower regularly & have no problems with BO
* Drinks like a sailor and picks fights with strangers while you are driving

You'd have some of our exes. Oh, and saying "we're soulmates" in my world just means you're in lust up to your eyeballs with me. There's 3 simple options to the whole crazy ex thing:

1. Don't do the same shit everyone else did. I'll be the first to admit that women as a whole are crazy & some of us deserve the negative things people say about us. If you want someone to give you a chance, stop repeating everyone else's behavior.

2. Find someone whose ex stories are as bad as yours. Worked for me.

3. Create an act & take it to the road. Use the experiences to become a comedian, writer, something creative. It's cheaper than going to a therapist. I do some of that as well.

This topic has been done too death. If you think the choice not to breed is selfish, then how about you get a hobby? How about working in the court system or in a family law office that handles lots of cases dealing with children in awful situations? Perhaps adopt a few kids in this country.

Otherwise, keep your damn mouth shut & take your religion back to your church. I think once we accept this reality & make voluntary sterilization more accepted (i.e. no Spanish Inquisition for childfree women over 18 to get it done), we might be able to meaningfully tackle the abortion issue.

I think medical providers should be held liable for rejecting someone for sterilization who later has a child that becomes neglected or abused by the same woman either directly or indirectly. Local government & the court system should be able to get involved as well since that doctor's attempt to play God wasted the court's time & the government's resources having to intervene in neglect & abuse situations. Might teach some doctors to stop assuming a grown woman is broken if she doesn't want to give birth.

The ones who live in this century are a treasure & should be nationally recognized for treating women like adults instead of baby incubators.

Also said this ad on Craig's List for an "intern assistant."

Looking For An Intern Assistant (NY)
Date: 2010-07-15, 2:32PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-cbhqp-1844679924@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Looking for an intern assistant for a growing fashion jewelry company. I need a reliable person who is trustworthy and willing to work and learn. Please send me an email asap!

* Location: NY
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 1844679924

I hope they just forgot a slash in between those two words. Otherwise, this has crossed a new level of ridiculous. No one needs to "assist" an INTERN. If your intern needs an assistant, then the intern is a moron who should have been tossed out before that ever happened. Or that person is no longer an intern & needs to be called something else + paid a proper salary.

Damn link is gone but thank you to the other states! It's not just me. Keep your eyes peeled for the revolution since this just looks like another sign in that direction.

I agree with the people who said Mom needs a hobby. If I let my family pick a spouse for me, they'd probably have picked Psycho Boy. They'd have never met my husband & they still think I should be okay with the idea of seeing him attend my sister's wedding, where I am standing up for her as a Matron of Honor. They seem to think I should be okay with it even if I was there alone.

I think it's because the women in my immediate family never had exes; they married all the guys they dated. At least they like my husband & my in-laws like me; if either of them were still talking to our exes socially or bringing them to family events, I guarantee that we'd tell those family members it was disrespectful to our current person & we'd cut that family off in a flash. I feel that if you're going to marry someone, you need to not put them in uncomfortable situations or force them to hang around exes. The idea of it is downright offensive & distasteful to me.

Yes, I definitely speak as someone who doesn't believe there's such a thing as truly being "friends" with an ex as a general rule.

This guy is awesome. It would cause chaos but I still think espousing anti-establishment views is an awesome thing & support any political figure who has common sense + thinks outside the box regardless of what the press might say. Bravo!

And finally, this.

This is all b/c the media got involved. $1 million says that if the media hadn't intervened, this woman would still be tossed out on the street. I'm glad for her not letting bigots in government push her around; we know bigots are out there & with all the old rich white men in government, I'm not the least bit surprised.

General Musings, Part 1

From time to time, I have mini-rants that don't quite merit a full post or have more to say about something I've already ranted about (usually b/c some cruddy situation has reached a new low). Anyhow, I figure we could just call this "general musings." I'll likely do more of them in the future but I don't want this to be a fully autobiographical account of my life. This is a semi-public forum & I'm paranoid.

I saw this story yesterday & it really burned me.

Okay, a few things to consider:

1. While I agree that you definitely don't get honest answers from people in interviews & stuff, plenty of former co-workers & bosses aren't exactly pillars of honesty. I personally know people who'd be badmouthed by former bosses for not putting a dead-end job ahead of their education, not dating or having sex w/him/her or b/c the boss is a complete & utter bigot. You don't know someone's motivation for speaking + if you don't think these things happen in the real world, you're naive.

2. If I were ever asked to sign something saying I wouldn't sue for possible defamation, I would tell the person that we'll be ice skating in Hell before I sign it. I'd also go into the details I've mentioned above as to why you'd be a fool to sign it.

3. Some former bosses & co-workers are manipulative, jealous freaks who might hate the person in question + want to see that person fail miserably. How will you know they're liars unless you're getting a lie detector machine & hooking them up to it? Even then, lie detectors aren't 100% reliable or accurate. That's why the results aren't admissible in court.

Same thing for checking credit. If I'm not applying for a job where that's actually relevant, you're not getting it. I might even see about the possibility of initiating legal action against you.

I was reading comments to a story on that issue & someone posted this link. You can use it to see where prospective employers are digging. Someplace in there, there's a way to get that information for free but I can't find it.

Final rant. As I watch the GSN show Baggage, I notice many of the contestants (many of them being women, I might add) showing bad sides to their personality that make me dismiss them as hypocrites, selfish, gold-diggers, etc. Here's an example:

Female contestant. 3 male bachelors, one of whom has dropped out of high school. Her justification for making that an issue: "The economy is bad & education is valuable." Did someone not get the memo that thousands, if not millions of college grads are out of work? Did we not hear about the lawyer job market?

So when she's down to this bachelor & another guy who golfs 5 days a week, has an MBA (basically blue collar guy vs. white collar guy), she gets all whiny b/c the high school dropout has a sugar mama. This after she's told Jerry Springer (who strikes me as a cool guy) that she's looking for a rich guy to "take care of her."

Sorry, honey but you're a hypocrite! If you run around trying to get a sugar daddy & won't bother advancing yourself in life, you have no cause to get pissy at a man for doing the exact SAME thing w/a woman. For me, if you don't bother to take care of YOURSELF & have to rely on some rich guy to "take care of you," you need to just start working in a strip club or become a hooker b/c that's what you are. Go sleep w/one of our nation's politicians if you want to be rich & famous w/out trying.

I'll give Anna Nicole Smith this: at least she made no bones about being in it for the money when she was stripping in her early days. For all the badmouthing you want to do about her marrying an old man for money, at least she was more honest about that than your average woman. Evolution or not, we're living in modern times now.

I don't base my romantic views & certainly never picked boyfriends based how much money they have. While I think more of my friends will be those w/money as time goes on, it's certainly not going to convince me to leave my husband.

Another contestant on this show who pissed me off was this one woman who trashed the dog of one of the bachelor's, implying homosexuality on him for owning a small dog.

Let me tell you something, bitch. A dis on my pet or anyone I care about is a dis on me so you'd better be ready to throw down if you say certain things to me (especially if you're a stranger). My husband & I immediately branded this woman as a bitch for that.

If I was the casting director, I think I'd be trying to find better contestants. Some Everyman/Everywoman types that people can like & root for instead of skanky types that you hope end up getting a bad match b/c they deserve it. Not every attractive person out there is an asshole. Nor is every ugly person a saint. Generalizations are an ugly thing.

Now I'm sliding into another rant I just realized I had in me but would rather wait for another post to probe.

There's a Reason I've Been Called "The Avenger"

I saw the story about this initially. Here's the follow-up, though I'm VERY skeptical about the actual follow through.

Here's one I just saw about the city destroying clothing that could easily go to the poor.

A co-worker & I were talking about situations of waste by big business because of asinine, arbitrary factors. Mainly, we were discussing how food places waste their food by throwing it out instead of giving it to the homeless (the rationale is fear of lawsuits but I read a comment from one Yahoo user that claimed a corporate restaurant chain didn't want to "diminish the brand"). Personally, I think homeless people have bigger fish to fry than filing lawsuits. What kind of advocate group for the homeless would FILE that suit? The bad publicity would kill any credibility it had.

Oh, and some of these restaurants do a fine job of diminishing their brand WITHOUT donating food to the homeless. I don't eat fast food & I'm better at making lots of stuff than many of the chain restaurants I could go to regularly.

I think some lawyers seriously dropped the ball in advising these companies considering the negative publicity they're getting right now. ESPECIALLY in this economy. If it were me, I would advise any major business to donate to charity for 3 very good reasons:

1. Being a good corporate citizen leading to,
2. Good PR/publicity AND
3. To satisfy the more conscientious stockholders (especially those who are outspoken about this--every company has this group)

As for the city, does Bloomberg need MORE middle & lower class people to hate him? Isn't outsourcing jobs that used to be performed by city employees enough? Didn't that narrow win to the Mayor's seat teach the man a lesson in popularity?

So, you enterprising but unemployed lawyers in NYC....you're seeking experience, right? Well, maybe you should look for the injustices going on around you & get involved. You might not get paid but you could find clients who appreciate your efforts (just drop those who don't), other lawyers would have to respect you for taking on grievances they wouldn't deign to take & maybe you'd even get some publicity that might help you down the road. Some people fall through the cracks of legal aid or bar association efforts; they might not qualify, know where to go or just be too proud to go there.

And if you don't have the drive or motivation to stand up for yourself or others when being kicked around, I have to ask why you call yourself a lawyer in the first place. That's what we call a slave mentality & it's unhealthy.

One day when money's not an issue, I figured I'd go into public interest work since my experience is far less removed from the average clientele than that of the average lawyer. I know what it's like to live without a phone, have a car repossessed, a relative in jail, etc. and figure my story could inspire someone else to make things happen for themselves (after all, you have to MAKE life happen NOT sit back & let it happen).