How the Wheel Turns, Putting Student Loans Into Perspective & Another Reason Not to Anger a Natural Redhead

There's some BIG news on the horizon for me. Started last week after my husband had gone out of town. For one thing, did some networking (as I'm apt to do). I also had a guy try picking me up on the subway (marking the second time this has directly happened).

This happened after leaving a party where this guy in a grad program for Math saved my evening after this bitchy woman who had no clue who the fuck she was talking to dared to make little gestures at me and be a bitch about people sitting in her precious little VIP booth (simple polite words would have been fine; making little scurrying gestures is another story). I did make sure to loudly say it's not a good idea to piss off an attorney after getting up but not sure if anyone heard or not.

Before that, I'd sat down and some guy asks me "Who are you?" Not "Hello," or "How are you?" Taken aback, I was about to say "An entertainment attorney you shouldn't mess with," when the aforementioned bitch walked up. Funny that I also saw 2 people I knew at this event, one of whom has landed himself on my future victims list & may very well have landed a spot on my shit list. We'll see how he conducts himself in a face to face setting with me to assess that one. He also wins the Captain Obvious Award for deeming me "weird." It's what "No, duh! What planet do YOU live on?" I had to ask him what his first clue was after that e-mail considering when he met me in person, it was fucking obvious I'm not some conventional or ordinary person.

Life lesson: don't piss off an entertainment attorney, especially if you work in the entertainment business. We can & WILL fuck you up. That's a promise & we won't even bother violating legal ethics rules to do it.

Back to this little subway pick-up scene: I'm listening to music & riding the subway to my transfer point. The guy sitting next to me asks what time it is. I tell him & then he asks "Are you single?" I said I was happily married. To his credit, he didn't say anything further or, to quote Positive K's song I Got a Man, say "What's your man got to do with me?" That will get you smacked in real life.

That is the proper way to handle a failed pick-up. Civilized people do this instead of harassing the woman, creeping her out or otherwise pestering her. Let's face it, I'm one of the last women anyone ought to be hitting on considering I've got options if I wanted to use them.

That statement is probably only going to be more true in the near future considering I got a great opportunity to do something lots of women would like to do (some might even kill to do it) but probably couldn't. Not disclosing much here but let's just say that after feeling that I get harassed so darn much by guys I ought to be getting paid based on my looks, that feeling will most likely become reality in the short term future. High school me would have loved it & did get an offer once but couldn't take it b/c of that whole being in school during the day thing.

I also learned something interesting on Monday at my City Bar Entertainment committee meeting. Rumor has it that the current City Bar President may have the same gripe I've had for years about the entertainment being offered at NYC Bar. You can imagine the response of the majority of the committee; massive conniption fits all around. Somebody else may want modernism as well. Now, who would YOU say is the biggest modernism proponent in these bar associations? If my name doesn't come up, someone hasn't been around lately. I think you'd be hard pressed to find a more anti-lawyer than me, especially considering my entertainment work & my actually knowing good writing, living the life I've lived (my diverse & unusual experiences) and my general creative personality. Maybe sticking around will pay off again.

As an artist, I've felt stifled except for exactly one time in the year where I can present MY creative voice and do what I want to do. If I didn't have that one event, I would be gone. I spoke up about my recent forum that's become the talk of NYCLA and led to people coming out of the woodwork to thank me for doing it, ask me for mentorship, connect with me on social media, etc. I'm hoping I got some people the average events wouldn't muster a second glance from.

For me, good entertainment is art. Art is not politically correct! It makes you think, provokes something in you, even if it's just making you laugh or feeling empathy for someone or a group. For me the two go hand in hand.

Censorship bothers me on a very deep level & while I was asked to be part of the delegation to meet with this President to see if the rumor is true, I did mention I'm a button pusher and I think any objection City Bar has to something could be solved with a simple disclaimer saying what we do is NOT to be taken as a representation of City Bar's views. Commentaries to movies and TV shows have this. This blog even has a disclaimer lest anyone thinks my personal views are = to those of any company I own or work with.

I'm not the type of person who has patience or tolerance to cater to the most offended people in the room. I say if you're that offended, you should stay home & stick to programs YOU select for yourself. If you're making some big complaint about my art in that context, I'll have to assume you're trying to shut down television shows and so forth because you refuse to parent or get off your large butt/grab the remote & change the channel/turn off the TV set or radio like every other human being on this planet. Nobody's putting a gun to your head & making you watch or listen to anything. Plenty of reality TV shows offend ME but you don't see me trying to shut down Snooki & JWow, The Real Housewives of Wherever, or anything else that offends me. You don't see me picketing TV networks or advertisers over it. I just don't watch them. End of story.

Last I checked, we were also adults here. Why should we be doing acts catering to 5 year olds? I haven't even seen little kids at the shows I've been to unless they were related to the person being honored at the 12th Night show.

There's also question of if City Bar wants to act like the Hayes office or network censors when it comes to our entertainment. I think I'd have to point out the hypocrisy if it rears it's ugly head. Lawyers are supposed to be PROTECTING the Constitution and the 1st Amendment freedom of speech is a basic right everyone is familiar with in there. A bar association, run by attorneys, censoring other attorneys is a major problem for me as an artist, film exec and entertainment attorney. That's a good way to get all of them to flee in droves & you bet I'd tell everyone I knew in entertainment if that happened and how hypocritical it would be for a particular attorney in the field to stick around. I'd have to also share with my creatives so they knew who to avoid for legal services; clearly endorsing the censorship of someone else's art means that lawyer isn't going to protect any other creative like (s)he should.

I'm also wondering if modernism is an issue, will the old guard take new writers and ideas seriously? Will they give people room? I feel like maybe I could get room since I don't think you have to pee on history or tradition to accomplish that goal & I've built some goodwill (in singing & acting at least so I think I can push writing, considering I've been published) but who knows about anyone else.

I know if I didn't get room, I would react very strongly. I even shared this issue with the old City Bar President & he pretty much told me "it's very competitive" and left it at that. I would welcome not having that committee feel like a high school or college drama club where the same people do the same things year after year, nonstop & no one ever will get a chance to do anything until the current people die (which is worse than waiting on the seniors to graduate). I'd feel the same if people I brought in didn't get room since that's the same as being nasty to me.

I've also been looking at more publicity for myself & had to jump on board for something else I'm not going into detail on. However, it was the reason I had to claim this blog officially.

These days, I don't spend much of my time reading the so-called "law school is a scam" blogs but I did see an entry on this story that made me want to rant.

This happened in the US, where having student loan debt means you are an indentured slave.

So, hotshots who claim we need no student loan debt reform, tell me how you like the idea of this guy doing what he did? What about him committing suicide over these student loans?

Personally, I'd have taken some different people with me. For instance, some paid off government officials or high ranking employees of these student loan companies that flagrantly violate debt collection laws. I have no beef with my law school administrators like the scam blog writers do. Perhaps settling personal scores before you go or having sex right before you kill yourself.

Then again, if you had sex first you might be so happy afterwards you talk yourself out of suicide unless you were severely, chronically depressed & wouldn't be able to have sex with that person again for some reason. Granted, it would also be bad to be the man or woman who had sex with that person & now had to worry about continuing to put out and delivering whatever game they delivered in the first place so the suicidal person doesn't kill himself/herself (unless that person was a total monster or knew they had nothing to do with the choices of the suicidal person; hopefully they have some measure of care toward the suicidal person).

Still, I wouldn't want to go without having good sex first. That includes the presence of consent.

Nonetheless I know the people railing against reform would whine & cry about how that's terrible and "suicide's not the answer." They'd be joining in the whole community mourning and all that outpouring of grief. I don't think they'd have the balls to go against that view.

Well, what IS the answer bitch (or bastard)? Your own religion would punish you for speaking ill of the dead or saying they will burn in Hell like you're a judge announcing a verdict. If you're not religious, you're still asking for karma to bite you in the ass.

Get a job? Have you opened your eyes to today's economic reality where college kids are forced to work in retail & fast food making minimum wage or far less than $10 an hour? See that recent article about the McDonalds that required a college degree to be a cashier there? Entry level in the legal field is non-existent. Nor is the state bar obligated to get jobs for new attorneys or law schools obligated to get jobs for new graduates. It's sink or swim, fuckers!

Payment plans? Do you know how private loans operate? Do you know that most law graduates have a good chunk of debt in private loans, meaning the government's got squat to do with them & the providers are, for whatever reason (probably lobbyist money), a legalized Mafia organization whose motto is "Fuck you, pay me!"

Networking? That's a limited solution, not a one size fits all concept. Some people are shitty individuals & no one likes them. Not everyone has the charisma or charm for it, especially many attorneys. You also have to be able to find the right people to network with & if you're not in those circles, you aren't in.

Join the bar associations? Doesn't really work if the bar association doesn't have a committee in your field of interest. It also doesn't work if you aren't willing to jump into a conversation of 4-5 people who already know each other & don't know who the fuck YOU are (assuming you aren't a gorgeous creature busting up a group of people of your preferred gender to sleep with) or get approached by people (that also increases if you're a gorgeous creature). One of my big gripes with bar associations is that new people who aren't social butterflies have no way to effectively meet and integrate with attorneys there. If a sorority did that in recruitment, the school or Nationals would attack them in about 2 seconds.

Let's also not ignore the obvious fact that many attorneys are assholes & I definitely encountered plenty when I was a law student/new attorney regardless of my unusual career path.

Finally, if you aren't some BigLaw worshiper with a T1 school on your name you are considered fucked by many circles of the legal field (circles I don't deem worthy of my time or attention). I personally don't think innovation or subbing those assholes ought to mean people commit suicide over unconscionable & disgusting student loan contracts and repayment terms.

I find most of the anti-reform crowd are either old farts who went to law school before 2000 (and the later exemption of student loan debt from bankruptcy, including private student loans, in 2005) or people with no graduate school degree or training to their name who haven't the faintest clue how going to law school works. These people need to shut the fuck up & propose useful, relevant and practical solutions instead of rattling off the same old tripe a hundred times. We're sick of "when I was YOUR age, I walked 15 miles in the snow to school" logic. Boo hoo! Look how sympathetic I am to you sitting in your little mansion & eating at the most expensive restaurants in the world.

Repetition doesn't make your argument magically more sound. It just makes you look more stupid, clueless, out of touch & at worse, a heartless piece of shit who should just go work for one of these loan companies and have blood sacrifices for them. You love them so damn much, why aren't you sacrificing animals to them? You're already figuratively sacrificing humans to them. Why not make it literal?

Read this article from Secret Agent Man on Backstage & apparently this is another reason not to piss off redheads. Seems our presence at a casino table means good luck.

Now if I ever go to Vegas and guys ask me to blow on their dice before they throw them, I'll know why they're asking. That could also explain anyone following me in the pursuit of high payouts. Hopefully, that knowledge will keep my husband from killing folks.

Do you think a redhead you have pissed off is going to bother helping you in that respect? I don't know if this applies to natural redheads exclusively but I'd say this is more reason not to piss off natural redheads. We could fuck up your ability to win in casinos by alerting the Fates & thereby making sure you lose. I would do that. So would any of my naturally red haired family members. We've got tempers, you know.

The "Resolution" & Living By Your Wits

I must be a psychic. Or maybe I'm just smarter than the people working in the public library system.

As I predicted, Mr. Ineffectual did exactly what I expected. He rewarded my husband with a demotion and transfer to a worse neighborhood. My husband then tells me he has to go back to the shit situation he'd dealt with in the first place. I said if he did, we'd no longer have a happy marriage. I also asked how he'd feel if someone hurt me b/c he was "doing his job." He claimed he had no choice & I disagreed. This became a huge fight, where he decided to leave.

The Ineffectual one made the mistake of calling my home while I was on the phone with my brother in law. I was extremely pissed off & trying to talk to my family to calm down. If you'd heard me, you'd know I was in a mood to kill. The phone rang twice & I figured it would keep up if I didn't answer.

I made sure to inform this mental midget about my being an attorney with contacts (you know, not the average schlub who has to suck up to law firm partners). His response? "Good for you."

In retrospect, I should have "But bad for you." It is, after all. However, my husband adamantly refused to mention it to anyone & claimed doing so wouldn't make a difference. Uh, yeah like he knows anything about what it's like to be an attorney or have that on your name. How many incidents has he heard about or witnessed where someone suddenly treated us or me differently after hearing about me being an attorney? You would think the man would know better.

This is also the same man who said the union couldn't help him on various injustices that he informed me about.

Well, I'm ready to give them some credit for this one since they did help him. I warned him that I didn't view these people as MY "betters" and would not be kissing their asses. Those who know me already know I don't kiss ass for anyone. If anything, I'm one of THEIR "betters!"

The union contacted the library's attorney. I expected the attorney to have a brain & say "Wait a minute. You're not allowed to demote this guy for having safety concerns. Plus, what message are you sending to everyone else? The PR will fuck you up as well."

If we'd informed him about me being an attorney, I think he'd have also considered that I could get quality legal counsel far more easily than these other employees (or peons, as I know they are regarded as) if something happened to my husband after all that. Maybe handing the lawyer a slam dunk legal case isn't such a hot idea, right? Especially one with the network & connections I have.

Not mentioning that information means my husband was given a non-option the next morning when he spoke to Mr. Ineffectual. Maybe the attorney should be called Anti-Social Dumbass.

I researched him & learned that not only is he not licensed in NY state but that he's apparently not a member of any bar associations and may as well have zero LinkedIn contacts. Attorneys always mention bar association memberships on LinkedIn. Seems this lack of networking also goes to the top brass there, though you hear nothing but "Network, network, network!" in the legal field even if you are a super veteran. When the ship finally sinks all the way (and we know it's sinking), this attorney will be fucked not just with lack of networking but with my informing people of this situation. He may even have a grievance hearing before him if the library is doing what we & many others suspect they are.

I even went to a program Thursday night were the panelists told people to join the bar associations and get involved there to get contacts!

Ultimately, my husband chose the placement where he'd not be getting a demotion & assured me there wouldn't be a safety issue. The union rep also said there were fewer incidents in this so-called "dangerous" area than in my own neighborhood (which isn't know as a bastion of crime & refuge for criminals).

See why I'm rooting for gentrification and saying "Go fuck yourself" to my local community? Want me to give a damn? Get rid of that manager & don't be silent. Silence is acceptance.

It is, seriously. Not saying "Hell, no! Not taking this shit," = "I'm okay with it" in my book. Don't whine to me about something if you're not talking to the local representatives & demanding accountability for this shit. If you aren't planning a hit against your oppressors or doing something, ANYTHING, to stop them then you've got nothing to complain about. This goes back to my basic attitude about making your own happiness and luck in this life.

Oh, and if you're doing anything to remotely benefit the Queens Public Library don't expect me to pee on you if you're on fire. These pricks made it very fucking personal & this neighborhood I've lived in for 6 years is nothing I take any pride in, not even remotely.

I don't help saboteurs; saboteurs can go drown in acid or face something far more gruesome for all I care. I wouldn't shed tears for their misfortune either; in fact, I'd probably celebrate it. Remember, I never signed up to "be a bigger person"; when you never signed up for such things you aren't held to those kinds of standards.

Also, causing shit in my household and with my loved ones is the same as doing it to me directly. How many of you go around helping or even saying "Hello" in a non-bitchy way to YOUR saboteurs?

My husband isn't on my good list right now either but that's because he doesn't love himself enough to have stood up for himself, told these pricks about that other placement & dealt with his interests as needed. He was too busy going through life like a scared bunny.

Reading a letter in this week's Dear Prudence & some of the comments was illuminating and definitely hit close to home. It was the one about the college student who is stuck in a job she hates, has no family to bail her out if times get rough & wanted to leave, getting an opportunity to move to NYC.

Well, I'm the one who left a paying job in Atlanta to go to law school in CT. I'm also the one who was going to leave with $600, my car & a few personal belongings a few months prior since I hated being in NC that much and saw no light at the end of the tunnel. Condo Man, who was older than me, had a momentary purpose in my life. I definitely am of the "do it while you can" school & favor living by your wits and having some hope in life over being secure but miserable. That is one of many reasons why "security" isn't an argument that resonates with me.

If all else fails, my life will be a Tarantino film. Not an ideal course of action & probably a waste of what I could have done but there will still be some fulfillment of potential, just in a negative direction. If you're going down, go down swinging.

Why is it that 90% of jobs these days require employees to be dogs? Why not stop advertising that you are seeking staff or employees and just tell the truth? You want robots or dogs, not people. Stop wasting time & shitting on people's dignity!

McDonald's obviously hasn't gotten the message either, as you can read in this story. Is it that hard for these CEOs to figure out or are they just so damn greedy & selfish that they can't see or think straight?

The Day of Reckoning Has Arrived

Seriously, it has. After a relaxing vacation last week, my husband returned to work to have to continue dealing with the same old bullshit...

Until the same old bullshit became threats to personal safety & activated my radar. Here's the story:

Yesterday, at my neighborhood public library, a brawl concerning 8 teenaged boys breaks out right next to the desk where my husband had been covering. Thankfully, he wasn't there & isn't fucking stupid enough to play cop when he's not paid to do that. His manager, on the other hand, decides she's going to intervene. Idiot. She got what she deserved for that one. Who would actually do that & NOT call the cops to let them handle it?

Though for her to REALLY get what she deserves, she should be demoted & forbidden from ever being in a position of authority until she learns not to write checks her behind can't cash.

Apparently, this event was unprecedented and this means my husband can't do his job without threat of violence. Oh, and if I were a woman I wouldn't bother going in there without a handgun or Taser on me since our police precinct is known for being ineffectual & showing up far too late to do anything.

Where were the cops on this one? The liaisons for this particular branch weren't even in the borough at the time. By the time they arrived, the guilty had fled & the victims weren't talking.

My husband isn't going back. That's by my edict & everyone else who's heard about this.

The wheels are in action for him to go elsewhere, which is complicated by the fact that he's on supervisor probation though this particular manager (whose name I'll gladly give you privately) is known for arbitrarily failing folks just to be a bitch. I'm pretty sure she gave head to the right person to still be manager there after pissing off staff members & the community at large.

Apparently, she's not smart enough to have set up this little brawl so she could fail my husband for not being He-Man. Sounds like she'd be a pitiful lawyer. She won't be manager much longer in my community if I get any say on it. I have a real problem with my tax dollars paying that bitch's salary. If you live in my area, so should you.

For now, my husband has some faith in management not fucking around. I don't. After contacting the head of all this (whose nickname includes "the Ineffectual" since he refuses to transfer one librarian who hates it there & is openly hostile to everyone b/c he "doesn't want her to win"; fuck the community or morale or the working environment there--in fact, fuck his manager who has to supervise this unhappy camper & deal with it day to day unlike his ineffectual ass), he apparently still thinks my husband should put his safety at risk.

I don't think this ineffectual prick knows who I am & what I do. If he did, I don't think he'd be handing me a slam dunk legal case if something happened to my husband or an excuse for me to end his life in a manner befitting a Quentin Tarantino film.

My husband has been all adamant about not mentioning who I am but I'm in fight mode. I will rain down a shit storm with hydrochloric acid rainfall mixed in; I have my official ways of doing things as well as unofficial ones.

I suggest that when they decide on where to transfer him (since it will fucking happen or I will meet with them personally on this), they ask themselves "Would I feel safe working here? Would I feel comfortable if my children were in this neighborhood after dark?" If the answers are "no," then that place is not an option. Capice? I will also have to have a conversation with the Queens Library attorney and see if he can motivate some dumbasses with the letter of the law. Perhaps tell them that maybe it's not a great idea to put an attorney's spouse in a danger situation since there will be an instant lawsuit. I'm not exactly just any attorney, either; I've got a public profile & contacts all over the spectrum. My spouse is far more likely to get adequate legal representation than most of the employees (or as they think of them, peons).

I can make life hell for someone who crosses me & I'll certainly do it if needed. When it comes to my loved ones & my friends, I'm downright sociopathic if you mess with them.

I know Thomas Galante, the library director (oh, excuse me President since he's got a God complex & likely wanted to evade the new salary regulations for the heads of non-profit organizations) has zero empathy or respect for the employees. He or his underlings want to try shit with me, they will live to regret it & I will make it my mission in life to take these people down including and especially him. I already spread the word wide & far about how utterly incompetent the management is & other business owners who have heard about their antics agree with me. Only an idiot would side with them.

Let's be honest: the management is laughable at best. My youngest niece & nephew (both under the age of 4) would be better at running the library system than these pathetic toads who are utterly devoid of ambition, basic human respect or any quality that would define one as a human being. This is my view as a business owner.

I wouldn't shed any tears or feel bad if they or one of their family members were raped, tortured, killed, or had any hard times at this moment; I have a strong feeling that my stance on them is not going to change.

None of these pricks had better think for a second they are better than me. In fact, I'd safely say I'm better than them. What education do they have? What contacts do they have? Who regards them? What is their public profile like?

Could they get their equivalent positions in a private business? From what I've seen, the answer is "Hell no."

So, here's where we stand. My husband hated being at this branch & will not be returning. If anyone asks, I'll be asking if they plan to provide an armed guard to escort him to & from work & be with him the entire time he's working, provide him with a loaded gun/Taser along with a bulletproof vest/body armor. If the answer to either is "no," my answer is "Then he won't be going. End of story." I'll also have to get personal since cunty behavior invites my asking you how you'd feel if it was YOUR kid, spouse, etc. If it were my local politician trying to make life easier for rapists or limit access to contraceptives, you'd best believe I'd ask them about scenarios involving THEM or THEIR loved ones.

If he can get in a better branch, at least we've solved that problem of him wanting to quit every single day & dumping that stress on me.

If they do nothing & then fire him, my life will most likely become a Taratino film since everything I worked my ass off to do will have gone up in a puff of smoke. I will have no place to live & there's no way in hell I'm going down without a fight. I won't have reasons to care about things like law & order, especially if my husband is harmed or killed. Nor will any of these mental midgets be allowed to take away my livelihood, my family or my purpose in this world.

I will also be livid that total incompetents like multiple branch managers in the system and various others will be keeping THEIR jobs & sucking up taxpayer money to continue fucking things up.

At this point, I have zero neighborhood pride or loyalty. Would YOU feel pride in a neighborhood where you can't even go to the public library & be content in your safety? I'd be better off going to a nightclub in Manhattan; at least they have bouncers. We didn't move here to live in Thug Town. I hate that area of my neighborhood anyway since it's in a public transit dead zone.

This just gives me more reason to root for gentrification & their families being priced out. I met with someone in charge of a social group in this neighborhood. I'll have to share & mention that this is just emblematic of my general attitude of Queens and this neighborhood.

A comedy producer I worked with once said she slept in New Jersey but lives in NYC. I feel I sleep in my neighborhood but I live in Manhattan. That's where everything I do business wise is, including my bar association memberships.

Why, especially in light of this library thing where Galante refuses to get any effective security in there, would I give a damn about this place? Who wants to hang around a bunch of little pussies who can't even fight effectively & whose parents would probably enable and defend their "menace to society" status to the very end?

Any moron can get a posse to beat up 1 guy. Any moron can get a weapon.

When I was in high school, there was the specter of fights. We were nicknamed "Thug High" by the community & the local newspaper even covered our fights, though normally got the details wrong.

Most of them were during break in plain sight of teachers & a big crowd of students. I refused to fight anyone in that setting since the teachers broke it up in about 5 seconds. You'd be lucky if you got 2 good hits in.

If I'd been challenged to one, I would have said "It's me vs. you. No friends, no weapons, no witnesses. You have to fight me during class time & behind one of the outdoor trailers. No one to bail you out or a little toadie to do your dirty work. Even odds or nothing."

I was like "Fight me like a woman or don't bother!" I hate half-assed measures at anything. I also might not be the strongest person but I'm a lot smarter & I'm far crazier, however that form takes. I could also fuck people up in the social order in ways that someone known as a thug/troublemaker couldn't do.

As I've said before, I'd have been a far more dangerous killer than the average thug/troublemaker since I knew the social rules, had a reputation as a kid beyond reproach & had access to things the average student didn't. That's probably still true but I'd rather take the pro-social route if it's available to me.

If that were closed, I know myself enough to know that I wouldn't have recourse or be able to roll backwards from all the shit I got out of.

What would that teach me or anyone else? You came from nothing so fuck getting good grades, getting an education or doing anything socially productive since you'll just end up a teen mom, a crack whore or homeless & hopeless in the end?

Gee, if I believed that I'd have ended my life long ago & taken as many oppressors as I could with me. I wouldn't have been able to live my happiest life so I'd see no point in wasting my time when it would never get better. This is the logic that makes me wonder why people who hate being attorneys so much & who feel there's no light at the end of the tunnel continue to be on the planet and write blog posts bitching about it.

Do we want mass suicide of young people who don't come from means? Or do we want them to use their brains to become societal nightmares? Make up your mind. This is world that's being created in the US.

What the Holy Fuck?!?!?!? Craig's List Ads, Part 7 & The Ideal Job for Me

In the midst of the craziness I'm dealing with in being a cat wrangler (the vet has given our little tabby feline a nearly 100% clean bill of health; we're just waiting on the toxoplasmosis screening), I just noticed that I had all of these ads to rail on including an encounter with someone who has totally missed the boat on Networking 101.

I also encountered a fucking idiot on LinkedIn of all places who apparently decided to denounce non-Jewish attorneys wholesale and when I called him out on it, then claimed "It was a joke; I can't believe you took it seriously. We laughed about it at our office."

Funny but last I checked LinkedIn was for PROFESSIONALS who were doing legitimate things & asking legitimate questions, not a forum to attack my profession or declare yourself superior b/c you're an actor (or to jerk around, for that matter). The awesomeness of Jewish attorneys aside, don't dare make judgments about me when you've never worked with, met me in person or even spoken directly to me.

Attorneys have more education than the average actor, film exec and film producer so you best not be a prick, buttercup. You'd better believe I'm going to call out some mental midget who thinks they've got any prayer in this business by alienating entertainment attorneys. That's a promise.

Take yesterday. I saw this ad on Craig's List posted in the Manhattan, NYC section:

Beautiful Recording Artist looking to network & Gain Exposure!

Beautiful Florida recording artist is seeking someone or a company in Atlanta to help promote upcoming music campaign. Artist is very seasoned, but needs a strong person, that can help build fanbase in that area. Please contact via email for photos & links!

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: neg

Seeing this & having lived in Atlanta for a time (plus not being a fucking idiot & seizing potential opportunity when I see it), I write this in response:

Some free advice: if you want to network in Atlanta, maybe you shouldn't be posting this in NYC Craig's List in the Manhattan section. You should be actually posting in the Atlanta section; you might have better luck there.

As for me, I'm an entertainment law attorney in NYC with a NY & CT law license who went to undergrad in Atlanta. If you think you don't need to know entertainment law attorneys even if you have one or they're in a different region, you're in for a massive wake up call.

Friendly enough, right? Definitely is if you know me. Plus, it's true. Remember that 98% of the creatives I encounter in this business will kiss lawyer butt & that doesn't just go for low level folks; we're also talking A-listers and people very high up in the food chain who can (possibly are) pricks to most of humanity but don't pull that with lawyers.

Here's the response I got:

You are a psycho. Please get a life. Who said ANYTHING about not needing an attorney? not me. Goodbye

My response?

Dumbass! Looks like someone is not only illiterate but completely stupid.

First off, we don't even post our attempt to network in the correct city. Manhattan does not = Atlanta. If it did, I would have found Mr. Right long before I ever moved to the Northeast. In fact, I could have had Mr. Right come with me to NYC if that were the case. Trust me, it's not.

Second, we lie about wanting to network since most people who claim to want to network are not just nice but in some ways are deferential to attorneys. I've had people outright say they were scared of me. I expect basic civility & usually get people falling all over themselves to compliment me or be nice to me.

Third, entertainment attorneys cost a shit ton of money. Friends will get reduced rates and accommodating, regardless of the industry someone is involved in. Would you behave like an ass to a heart doctor if you had a heart condition? Would you be nasty to a criminal defense attorney if you were sitting in jail? Then, why are you being nasty to an entertainment attorney if you are a performer?

Doesn't matter if you already have legal counsel. Your lawyer could die, get disbarred, retire, sell his/her firm, get fired from the mega firm, get suspended (those ethics rules can be strict), steal your money, fall off the face of the Earth, etc. No one who has or wants to do ANYTHING in the entertainment industry is nasty to a licensed entertainment attorney. Ever.

Doing so announces to me that you're not the hot stuff you think you are. If you're trying to do international work, your domestic attorney can't do shit for you when it comes to understanding those contracts. If you think you don't need a NY or CA licensed attorney to do work in NYC or LA, you're not only stupid but a class A, fucking idiot. You might as well just hand over your money to that Nigerian attorney who contacted you about your relative's estate.

Finally, this "very seasoned artist" is trying to network using Craig's List. Guess we're not so "seasoned" after all, are we?

Oh, and since I do what I do & have my track record you'd better believe I'll remember my encounters with you and warn my contacts accordingly. I can be your greatest ally or your worst nightmare. It's up to you.

If you want to respond to this lying airhead before the post expires, here's the reply e-mail:

hjkxp-3702059618@gigs.craigslist.org

More utter stupidity from the entertainment community:

Assistant to Actress (NYC/LA)

Looking for a full time assistant to an actress in NEW YORK CITY and LOS ANGELES primarily.

Applicant must be college educated, be willing and able to travel without notice, have a valid drivers license and live in Manhattan.

Job responsibilities include but are not limited to:
- basic personal assistant tasks such as scheduling and booking appointments, managing calendars, arranging travel, picking up/dropping off dry cleaning, miscellaneous errands, phone calls,
emails etc...
- basic household management tasks such as making sure townhouse functions smoothly (scheduling regular maintenance (AC/HEAT, pest control, security system, gardener, etc), overseeing deliveries of household items.
- professional responsibilities range from liaising with talent agents, publicists, hair and makeup agents, fashion pr on a regular basis and specifically during awards season or press tours.
- responsibilities involved when on location or traveling include driving employer to work when on location, or to appointments, etc, light grocery shopping, managing, organizing, light cleaning of hotel room or house.

Please do not reply if you do not meet the following requirements:
College Educated
Willing and able to travel (sometimes without notice)
Possess a valid drivers license
Live in Manhattan

*Only females will be considered due to the personal nature of the job. Employer is female.*
Hours are flexible but an ability to be on call 24/7 when needed is a strict requirement.
Starting salary is NON NEGOTIABLE $30,000.

Please respond with a resume and short description of yourself and your qualifications.

Location: NYC/LA
Compensation: $30,000
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Posting ID: 3609654649

Assistant to Actress (or is it Underpaid Slave?)

Someone's a moron to think anyone's going to work on-call for that piddling rate. Try triple that salary if you want real responses. Otherwise, this actress should be prepared to be a victim of petty theft. I know I won't shed any tears if that happens.

Entirely true & this is obviously not a legitimate actress if that's the employment terms. May she suffer some skeezy director that makes her life a living Hell! This bitch would totally deserve it for this attempt at slavery.

Tell me, what is up with all these ads from so-called industry professionals that insist on breaking basic labor & wage laws? Here's another one:

Talent Management company seeking an Intern as a Personal Assistant (NYC)

A boutique Talent Management Company in NYC is looking for an intern (unpaid) to work as a personal assistant. Management company works mainly with actors, actresses and models. You MUST have prior experience in the listed tasks in the Film & TV Industries. You need to be well versed in new & upcoming Films and TV shows. You would want to develop a career as a talent manager at some point. You MUST have experience in at least 2 of the below tasks. Please be local as our office is located in Manhattan.

Tasks: (ALL equally important)

• Work with talent and match talent to new & upcoming projects.
• Get updated constantly & get familiar with different casting calls.
• Find & book auditions.
• Connect & network with different casting personnel for the purpose of advancing talent.

Qualities: (ALL equally important)

• Be focused on the tasks at hand.
• Quick thinking and adapting.
• Punctual
• Serious and business oriented.
• Not afraid to step out of your comfort zone.
• Pro-active, someone who does not wait to be told what to do.
* Business Attire a must

You MUST have experience in the above tasks and is able to carry out the above tasks and have the qualities listed. Please also specify in the body of the email what kind of experience you have relating to the film and TV industries. Please send resume as an attachment. If you DON'T have the needed experience, PLEASE, do not reply to this ad.

Location: NYC
Compensation: Full Time Internship
This is an internship job

This was another one warranting a response & another Craig's List ad was posted the same day that tied into the response:

You are obviously NOT a legitimate company or you'd know this ad is totally illegal & would never have posted it.  Do you NOT know state & federal labor laws?  By definition an "intern" has ZERO prior experience.  People with prior experience are called "skilled workers"; those people have to be paid a wage BY LAW.

AND you want "business attire" along with someone coming to YOUR office for ZERO PAY?  Who the hell do you think YOU are?  Oh, and full time internships are also illegal.

Do YOU pay to work for people?  Do you book jobs and NOT take a percentage for them?  Do you get percentages when you don't even bother doing the work & talent gets them all by their lonesomes?  Would YOU accept such an arrangement?  I'll bet you wouldn't forfeit your percentage even if you did nothing to make a job happen.

If YOU wouldn't work for these terms, then what makes you think anyone else with basic competence will?  Who would pay $112 per month to do YOUR work?  Not to mention the possible expense of hundreds of dollars to get proper business attire (maybe $200 if the person finds a good deal on "business attire"; business suits are about $100 for a single one & decent dress pants go for about $50+ depending on where you go as well as if any alterations are needed).  Even a trust fund baby would be pissed off by your arrogance & entitlement attitude.

Go fuck yourself & learn how the business world works.  Clearly, you haven't got a clue & I sure wouldn't want you representing ME.  Business owners ARE watching & how you treat the lesser of all is a huge factor in our calculations.

Signed, An Attorney Who Owns an Entertainment Business & Isn't a Fucking Scumbag

P.S. There's a law firm dedicated to suing employers who use unpaid internships & they have gone after big industry players.  Keep it up & you will be next.


You may also wish to read the following since you are obviously stupid or exploitative jerks who deserve what they get:


THE LAW CONCERNING UNPAID INTERNSHIPS!
JOB SEEKERS..... LISTEN UP!


TO EVEN OFFER AN UNPAID INTERNSHIP,
THE EMPLOYER MUST HAVE THE NECESSARY ACCREDITATION.


PLEASE CLICK ON THE LINKS BELOW AND READ.


http://www.trepanierlaw.com/whatsnew.asp?id=201205012100

http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/07/the-uses-and-misuses-of-unpaid-internships/

http://www.consumer-classactions.com/investigations/internet-scam/are-you-an-unpaid-intern/

http://www.newyorkemploymentattorneyblog.com/2010/05/department_of_labor_issues_gui.html

http://moneyland.time.com/2012/05/02/the-beginning-of-the-end-of-the-unpaid-internship-as-we-know-it/

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/06/business/unpaid-internships-dont-always-deliver.html?pagewanted=all

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/03/business/03intern.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&pagewanted=all&adxnnlx=1338073718-f5iYNeiL9CE6KLAWxef+aw

I wonder if this is for that bitch talent manager who sent me unsolicited communication then had the gall to try charging me for a networking meeting? Such unprofessionalism wouldn't shock me in the least from that corner.

I hope all attorneys involved in production companies check these things out about management companies they deal with & refuse to put money in their pockets. After all, I'm sure someone could make the argument that the filmmaker attorney involved is violating ethics rules by perpetuating that company's violation of labor laws. Facts I stated there are also 100% true; there is a law firm dedicated to suing employers who engage in the practice of illegal internships.

If you want to respond & it's still up, use this:

6xbkh-3696822933@job.craigslist.org

And actors I will definitely note who your manager or agent is & if I know that they are violators of labor laws or doing something remotely shady or unethical that I don't want our company perpetuating by giving them money (or my license being at issue as a result), I will have to pass on you. Sorry you'll have to suffer but you need to take some responsibility for your career & presentation as well. If you want to get someplace with legitimate folks, you need to have credible representatives who aren't breaking laws or abusing others.

Think about how they'll treat you if they treat their interns like shit.

Oh, and there are more reasons for you new attorneys & writers to be pissed off at employers and wish for the owners/management to be immersed head first into vats of hydrochloric acid (HCl for the science geeks; I used it enough in Chemistry lab--I got enough warnings about it being nasty stuff without deciding to go find out for myself). Feast your eyes on these ads:

Blogger Interns Wanted (remote)

Digital marketing consultancy seeks qualified blogging interns.

Learn the business and increase your body of work.

Send resume and writing samples.

College credit available if applicable.

Location: remote
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

Posting ID: 357974497

This is called "volunteer work." No one's learning anything from this. You can't be a "blogging intern;" you're either a paid professional writer or an amateur/volunteer writer. As far as I'm concerned, most commercial writing should be paid for though at least these people aren't as prickish as they could be: you can work at home.

However, I see nothing about bylines or attribution for your work so why would you bother if you can't even use the samples to get a paying job?

Now, for you new lawyers:

Law Office Intern - Volunteer (Brighton Beach )
Personal Injury Law Office in South Brooklyn needs Intern-Volunteer. We are looking for a person to work full time M-F and be able to commit to work for at least three months.

Small compensation will be provided. Position may lead to future employment.

Experience with personal injury and SAGA preferred.

Please respond by email as to your availability and attach resume.

Location: Brighton Beach
Compensation: Intern - Volunteer
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

I responded to this since I'm an attorney & was shocked to see this ad.

Full time internships are illegal. Go read up on state & federal labor laws.

Furthermore, you're a law firm & whoever owns it is subject to legal ethics rules. I know the ethics rules of NY state apply to Brighton Beach/South Brooklyn. Have some respect for the person if you're already paying some compensation & use the term "assistant" instead of "intern" or "volunteer." That's just insulting & could easily get you disciplined for violating the law.

Do YOU "volunteer" your legal services to clients? If you don't, then maybe you should try getting a clue & having some humanity toward others. You're definitely not helping the reputation of personal injury attorneys and firms with an ad like this.

Seriously, if you're already paying someone for something why are you demeaning them by calling them an "intern?" That's an insult in my book if you are making them work full time. Stop being an asshole & call that person what they are: an employee. Even an independent contractor/freelance arrangement for temporary full time work is better than calling someone an "intern."

This will also piss you off if you live in the area:

Part time attorney needed (Mamaroneck, NY)

Entry level, part time (minimum 20 hours) attorney for a law firm located in Mamaroneck, NY. The firm does civil litigation in both state court and arbitration, and criminal litigation as well. Morning hours only. Your duties will include:

- Case preparation for both litigation and arbitration matters
- Court appearances in both civil, criminal court & arbitration hearings
- Trials
- Legal research, writing & motion practice
- Handling new client inquiries and existing client customer service
- Communicating with courts and other law firms
- Settling civil cases

Military veterans encouraged to apply. If you are over qualified but none the less desire to apply we will entertain your application but we are firm on the starting compensation. All interested candidates please send your resume via e-mail.

Location: Mamaroneck, NY
Compensation: $15.00 an hour non-negotiable
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Reply: vzzqg-3673763465@job.craigslist.org

Why should you new attorneys be pissed off by this? I made $15 an hour on my last freelance gig & didn't have to do legal work. The work study rate at my law school legal clinic for working in the summer was $10 an hour.

Oh, and they "are firm on the starting compensation" even if someone's got years of experience but just needs a fair wage to pay student loans and put food on the table. I think this firm's partners need to live on the streets for a while. Maybe have to rely on food stamps, not be able to pay student loan debt. Sounds like these people are of the ilk that have "hobo parties" at Christmas like that one Wall Street firm did.

If you're wondering why people don't respect the legal profession or numerous attorneys hate other attorneys, especially on a generational level, look no further than these ads.

And this little gem:

In House Attorney Needed (Queens) (Queens)

In House Attorney Needed (Queens)
In house attorney needed for a busy car rental location. We need someone who specializes in labor law, insurance claims, some real estate, and small claims.

Must be great with Motions, Excellent writer and have good research skills.
Can work part time or full time starting salary 30 K
Serious inquiries ONLY
Essential Duties and Responsibilities:
-------------------------------------
* Handling a variety of legal/business matters pertaining to the organization, including providing corporate and commercial legal services.
* Assist the corporation in preparing customers contracts.
* Draft, review and negotiate a variety of contracts related to project development and finance.
* Provide legal advice and recommendations regarding corporate policies and compliance with state and federal laws.
* Pursue legal action against individuals and firms that have breached contracts and caused damage to the firm.
* Review, file and prepare various applications and registrations.
* Prepare documentation to avoid contract disputes with clients.

Requirements
--------------
* 1+ years' experience either with a law firm or in an in-house situation.
* Proven experience in contract negotiations, problem solving and management of risks.
* Proven experience in completing complex transactions
* Commitment to professionalism; flexibility as to the types of projects assigned; and solid business acumen required.
* Ability to multitask
* Strong work ethic and high professional and ethical standards

Sorry, bitches. If you want MY in-house expertise you're going to have to pay me far more than $30K a year. Let's break down the hourly salary for that, shall we?

30,000/12 = $2500 a month

2500/4 = $625

625/40 (though the number could easily be higher with a legal job but let's make this a minimum amount of hours you'd be expected to work) = $15.63 an hour

625/20 (the average part-time hours but with a legal job, assume you'll be expected to do more) = $31.25 an hour

This is not even taking into account taxes. Let's do that now & assume you're taking 25% out for taxes (either you personally or the employer).

2500 x .25 = $625

2500 - 625 = $1875 per month

How much are YOUR student loan debts in a month? Would this amount even cover those? If you're working full time, is this even worth it?

NYC rent would eat up nearly all this paycheck (even in Queens) unless you had roommates, lived in a rent control/stabilized apartment, got housing from Mommy & Daddy, had no children, lived in the boonies where there's zero viable public transit (where your costs would be gobbled up by travel expenses from driving) and weren't the bread winner.

I made $25K when working in a mid-sized law firm pre-law school. Oh, and 1+ year of experience is NOT entry level. Even $30k entry level for an attorney after all the schooling & student loans 90% of us have to incur is an insult.

Crap like this says to me "We want a trust fund baby to do this vs. an actual professional who can interact with the general public without being a total asshole." This is a business owner that announces to me that they do not respect or value legal services to offer such a pathetic rate.

This is a paralegal wage, not a wage for a licensed attorney subjected to ethics rules & who has to pay for CLEs, bar association fees, malpractice insurance, student loan payments, etc.

What "excellent writer" is going to jump on this? Even a trust fund baby who could have gone to Harvard would be able to get far more lucrative job offers than this insult. I would hope any of you who read this blog & aren't dealing with student loans or came from some Ivy League school i.e. could get a BigLaw job in 5 seconds would be insulted by this on general principle.

On the other hand, I saw this ad & never got a response despite the fact that I'd be perfect for such a thing:

Seeking Marketing Partner (Midtown East)

This is not a job- I am seeking a law partner.

Experienced business attorney (15+ yrs.) seeks licensed attorney who enjoys the rainmaking and marketing aspects of business. My practice is in business law including contracts, leasing, licensing, debt negotiations and real estate. My practice already exists and has nice websites. I seek a law partner who is a skilled and dynamic marketer. I provide the skills and experience and will handle the client work.

You must be serious, committed and be able to start in your own practice. No capital is needed, but time must be invested. Experience in law is not as important as being a persistent people-person, make a great in-person presentation and have good networking skills or good existing business contacts.

Thank you.

I would love this opportunity. Somehow, this attorney figured out the perfect arrangement for this legal warrior. Why is it so ideal for me?

1. I don't want to leave my field of interest but as we all know, very few entertainment professionals make a living solely from entertainment work.

2. "Rainmaking" & "marketing" are synonymous with NETWORKING & HUSTLING. These are things I have done a lot in my career. When you own a business, you have to.

If you've got passion for something, it's also very easy to do. People have said to me that my passion for my business/the entertainment industry is obvious & undeniable.

So, could I do this? Yeah! Actually, hell fucking yeah.

3. Most attorneys aren't good at selling themselves. Many will outright tell you this. Few actually do what this lawyer did & actively seek out a partner to just handle that stuff. They try to do it all or make someone do the marketing/rainmaking AND do cases.

4. I don't want to do the client work. I tried doing that; it didn't work well for me. Litigation & court proceedings in particular are not something I consider a solo endeavor. I could do them in a team but not all alone. If it's not an entertainment or strictly transactional matter with a limited duration, I don't want to deal with it. No one I've encountered has bothered to consider paying me a fair rate for it.

My particular circumstances don't even allow me to invest in years on a case.

I want to know why in God's name I can't do this for some firm. Why can't some established attorney/firm realize that it's not good at marketing to some target population & outsource to someone who IS personable, accessible, understands the attorney perspective + has my looks? Most female attorneys aren't getting mistaken for actresses like I often do.

Most don't have the acting training or even my contacts, especially at the stage I'm in. Oh, and show me the attorney you're going to remember after a second meeting.

The only people who don't remember me after meeting me once have mental defects or are just aching to be my future victims if I ever have to go on that crime spree since it would require little for me to victimize them.

It feels like the only way you could do this is if you do BOTH the legal work & the networking, work on commission (which I refuse to do when I'd have to travel, go to networking events, lunch, meetings, etc.) or deal with someone who isn't established enough to pay you a fair wage. You also can't get most attorneys to admit that they have shortcomings & maybe bother being fair to someone who has the skills they don't.

I think $50K a year minimum is more than fair for me to do such things or equity in a profitable practice with coverage for travel costs, admission fees to events, etc. along with autonomy for me & a reduced salary that will still cover student loan payments that's not based exclusively on commission or a draw.

I don't make beelines for people 5 seconds after I arrive someplace & I'm not a huckster. Let me work my way & don't penalize me if I don't bat 1,000 every single time.

A fair job where I made $50K a year would be fine for me but apparently, the employers I see posting ads act like asking for it is akin to demanding one of those $1,000 gold flaked sundaes from Serendipity 3 served on a silver platter (even if you have prior experience). Frankly, if someone can't meet my minimum, they've told me they have no respect for me or my abilities which = they are assholes & I don't want to deal with them. Would you?

Find me that firm or attorney. Seriously, I'd consider such an arrangement. With my name & heightened profile, it looks like you'd be dumb not to talk to me about such things. The average person doesn't want to talk to a stuffy BigLaw suit; they want a living, breathing human being they can shoot the breeze with and let their hair down around.

Oh, and at least one person is just as fed up as me with stupid bullshit ads on Craig's List:

NO BUDGET? NO PHOTOGRAPHER! (New York)

Anyone out there either starting out or looking for work, don't sell yourself short.

If you hear all these idiots on craigslist with "no budget" but in dire need of a photographer, DO NOT TAKE THE JOB. These people will never give you paid work. There will never be any perks to these jobs. These are takers, not givers. Credits on shitty blogs and websites do not pay the bills and unless they're getting over 100k users hitting there sites daily, it won't mean jack shit for you.

If a company wants quality work and a professional, then they have a budget. If they're too greedy to pay for a photographer, why should you give away your hard work and time for free?

Every day I see more and more of these posts and it's unacceptable. We have to stand together and mark them all as spam. Respond to these posts and tell them how it doesn't work that way. I know I do! We have bills to pay like everyone else. We work hard, we don't ask people for free advertising or free camera gear. We pay just like everyone else.

Don't give in to this bullshit! NO BUDGET? NO PHOTOGRAPHER!

STAND STRONG PEOPLE!

Location: New York
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

Finally, I've had some people who got called out for BS ads bitch and moan about me doing so.

Well, guess what dummy? You post something stupid for public consumption & you deserve all the ridicule you get. Oh, I offended you or you think I'm a psycho, mean, a bully?!?!? Doesn't change the fact that you're a dumbass or a piece of garbage who needs to be taken out for the good of mankind.

You also EARN nice from me; it's not a right or an entitlement. Go fuck yourself with such demands of total strangers, especially those who are attorneys. We're the Sophia Petrillos of the world so lie down & get used to it!

If you aren't speaking out & making change in the world, you are part of the problem. Don't bitch about things if you aren't willing to speak out, be a pain in the ass when needed & create change. No one wants to hear it, least of all me.

Cats: Why They Are Awesome & I'll Take a Kitten Over a Baby

Once again, real life has interrupted my updating this blog. A friend of mine that my husband hates got sworn into NY on Wednesday & I volunteered to go since no one else was (plus it was a simple subway ride for me to get there). I felt bad since I know what it's like to do things in life & not have anyone be there for you or even just dismiss your accomplishments. He got motioned in but I still felt it was something that warranted someone showing up for. I'm still the only person in my entire family (including extended and in-laws) to have taken the bar exam, much less be an attorney. Motioning in or not, it's still a bigger deal than putting on your clothing all by yourself in the morning or walking to the street corner (assuming you haven't suffered grave personal injury that would prevent you from doing this already).

I even altered my normal sleep schedule to do this & wore makeup (since a swearing in is always at the courthouse, where you're expected to look nice & I didn't want to go with zits showing on my face). I doubt my friend cared but it was one of those girly isms of not wanting to look totally sloppy.

The only person who came to my CT swearing in was my husband & he's been the only one to go to my company's events. I'm not even sure my family would attend even if there were a screening of one of my films in their town or nearby.

On top of this, my father got into a car accident on Monday night that totaled my first & only car (the one I used while living in Atlanta and CT; I guess a 10+ year run isn't bad but still). He ended up getting a hairline fracture near his knee, has to do physical therapy, is out of commission for a while & my family's got enough shit going on already.

THEN, we've had this stray cat in our neighborhood that is super affectionate. On Monday evening, when it was snowing & cold outside, I came home to find this cat in our apartment entryway. I was puzzled about it but my husband said he felt bad for the cat & that he could no longer watch her suffer outside (particularly since our neighbor saw an issue with the cat's leg & I said we'd have to take in the cat if she were injured or in danger of being abused if she stayed out). He was going to take her in that night in a carrier we'd planned to get rid of since it inspired terror in our cat but the cat got outside before he could.

On Thursday, he got the cat into our house. The scary thing is that cat went right in the carrier & later was sleeping in it. I've never seen a cat be cooperative with one of those & I've had cats most of my life. You can tell this cat is STARVED for affection. She's currently in our bathroom until we get her checked out by the vet on Monday. We found a local one with acceptable reviews to me that exclusively does house calls. I don't want my cat getting sick or harmed b/c of my husband's pity for this stray cat.

If we keep her, we'd also have to get her declawed since our current cat is declawed. I'm not a proponent of doing that since it hurts cats to do that to them. However, it's not fair to put a clawed and declawed cat together. My cat also has a history of hating other creatures (though he loves me). We're trying to see about getting her a home but anything we're going to do is essentially on hold until the vet sees her on Monday.

At least we did pick out a name for her: Ortensia. If you figure out the reference, you get 100 points. I looked at her after hearing this name suggestion & thought "She DOES look like an Ortensia."

What do you think?



Our bathroom is essentially a closet but it seems to be working for her right now. Here's another shot I got of her where she's looking up:



This cat is so extremely affectionate that you can tell she belonged to someone before. I also don't think she was treated well based on what we've seen her do & how she treats even basic affection and attention.

The alpha cat has not been around Ortensia so much b/c of safety but he knows she's there & he can't go into his bathroom. She also doesn't drink from the sink like he does.

From what we hear, apparently some tenants who lived in this building abandoned this cat & moved to Virginia. My husband plans to pay a little visit next time we're in that area.

If this cat actually belongs to someone, they are the biggest deadbeats around. The cat has NO collar (well, didn't but we fixed that), was being fed by others who took pity, kept trying to get into our building & for fuck's sake, THIS IS NYC!!! You don't let a cat roam outside when you're living in the city & surrounded by a bunch of apartment homes with no front yards but a busy street and sidewalk. She doesn't even appear to have a name since she responded when noise is made or to general greetings like "kitty."

When it comes to cats, I'm very passionate about decent treatment to them. After all, they kill mice (how many kids have you seen doing that?), kill & point out bugs, eat some of this stuff they kill, don't have to be walked (if you're too lazy to clean a litter box, you sure don't need to have children & change dirty diapers) and they don't play mind games with you. If a cat doesn't like you, they don't pretend and then gossip about you behind your back like a human would. They're not racist, sexist or ageist.

As long as you're nice to them, maybe give them a treat from time to time, they'll be your buddy. Kids certainly aren't that way; you can be the nicest, coolest parent out there & get rewarded with nastiness, ungrateful behavior or other various shitty treatment. Cats are a trillion times easier. Maybe living up to childfree stereotypes but I totally prefer cats to kids per capita. Individual factors definitely play a role but if you gave me a choice, I'd take a kitten over a baby in a heartbeat. I actually know something about caring for a kitten.

When I say I'm "very passionate" about proper treatment of cats, I mean that I could probably get off on violence against an animal abuser based on temporary insanity. Let me tell you a story to illustrate this.

My ex-friend decided to take in a stray that was hanging around her cousin's beauty salon when I was staying in her home after graduating college. I helped her out on this.

Her husband came home & kicked the carrier after arguing with my ex-friend. I was in a different room at the time but could see & hear the action.

The instant he did this, I zoom over to him and stand right in his face literally robbing him of personal space. Seems I scared the hell out of him. It was 100% instinct. Any social cues or niceties left me when I saw that since it pissed me the fuck off. I think it took less than a second or two for me to get there.

After that, he was far nicer to that cat.

What's the lesson? Don't fuck with me when it comes to animal abuse. This includes ditching your cat b/c you decided to have a baby.

Guess what, fuckers? My sister and I were raised with multiple cats around us. We were taught to be respectful to the cats. My parents would not have dreamed of getting rid of any of our cats because of having a baby. My sister currently lives with my parents and her small kids; she hasn't even dared asking them to get rid of their cats to cater to her little kids. Nope, her kids have to actually treat the cats with respect & she bothers to PARENT!

By 5/6 years old, we knew how to properly hold a kitten & not be fucking assholes to them or any other conventional pets. We didn't die & the Earth is still turning. I'm doing what I do now so obviously you're full of crap to go tossing pets out like they are an old TV set or a bed that broke.

Being abusive to an animal tells me that you are a sub-human piece of garbage who is not entitled to the same rights the rest of us share. Therefore, what does it matter how you feel or what you think? I don't give a damn since you find it awesome to be abusive to dogs & cats. I also feel people like that have zero business breeding. What will they do if they have a baby who cries all the time or has a neurological condition? Are they going to just toss that baby in the dumpster b/c it became "inconvenient?" If they think it would be monstrous to do that, then why the difference to a cat?

For me, if you think there's a difference, you are a scumbag & have mental problems. The irony here is that apparently sociopaths have more regard for animals than human beings. Tony Soprano cared about a mistreated horse about as much as I do about cats.

I don't give a shit about your financial condition. Would you leave your kid by the side of the road b/c (s)he was too expensive? Then why is it okay to leave a cat, a so-called member of the family that formed a bond with you & whom you've put money into? If you had it declawed & you're doing that, you are right up there with an adult who exposes kids to known child molesters, pimps, rapists and any other "bad element" that would rob that child of his/her soul, physical being, etc. My parents don't have money either but they'd never abandon their cats. This was also true when I was a kid living there.

Am I a sociopath b/c I care more about cats than humans? I don't know. If I am, I'm no worse than any other person in my position or field. Plus, I think how one treats the lesser of us shows how much character someone has. Someone who's shitty to a dog or a cat? Tells me you're a person I'll be avoiding & balling out for being such an asshole. Character transcends social class, race, age, everything. It's something you have or you don't, much like class.

If my feeling as I do about animal abusers makes me a sociopath, then I'll wear that title proudly just as I wear it proudly than an ex (who was also 14 years older than me) said I had the capacity to be Livia Soprano.

The Redhead Fetishists & Our Possible Future As Sex Workers

Being a redhead isn't a pretty business. Here's an example of the shit I have to deal with b/c of my natural hair color:

Redhead - m4w - 33 (CT)

I love redheads. If you are a redhead, pla contact. I will do anything for you.

Thx
Al

Location: CT
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Posting ID: 3650555801

Posted: 2013-03-09, 2:47PM EST

Now I'm wondering does this guy mean natural redheads or is okay with the fakes. There's a serious difference.

Who thinks I should ask this guy to pay off my student loan debts? No catches, no nothing. Remember the text of this ad says "I will do anything for you." It doesn't say squat about the redhead having to do something. Hey, if you want sexual favors for something, you've got to spell that out in your ads! Otherwise the lawyers like me will call you out on it & brand you a liar.

If I weren't married, I'd have to challenge this statement. Find the ad in Craig's List Missed Connections in NYC if you're so inclined to follow up on it.

Damn it, I want my student loans paid off!

I only browse the Missed Connections section if I'm really bored. One of my sorority sisters in Atlanta was once the subject of one (she found out & posted it on Facebook) so I always wonder if that has happened to me. God knows I get enough compliments on my appearance. Not that I'd follow up or anything but it's one of those "I can't help but wonder" type things. My husband & I thought of posting such ads to each other as a lark.

This ad is a textbook example of the redhead fetishist. Nearly every group and type you can think of has fetishists in it, people who only like someone b/c of their race, hair color, weight, etc. instead of the actual person inside.

My high school boyfriend was such a redhead fetishist. He made a whole big production about dating a redhead; the way you'd hear him talk, it was all about my looks instead of me, the person (who was probably as crazy & complex as today). Too bad that whole fetish wasn't enough for him to bother being faithful to me before the prom, which I didn't find out about until after graduation. The bastard (I dated quite a few of those)!

It also makes me wonder if half the guys who've approached me did so b/c they think about what they've heard about redheads & have assumptions about me. Higher sex drives, more likely to be interested in freakier stuff & more are some of what you'll hear about natural redheads. Maybe we natural redheads should get to start carrying tasers for our own safety. I certainly don't know of any who would object to doing so.

Reading this ad after reading these two stories about interview processes that employers should be shot for and about the "new normal" in student loan debt make me wonder if attractive young people are going to have to seek out fetishists who have money in order to get someplace in this life. Or if people in general will have to do that.

I totally see stuff like that happening with the pathetic prospects in store for people right now. If someone did that successfully, they could probably become a working class hero especially if they managed to use human nature against one of the members of "the evil 1%."

I'm kind of surprised none of the law school scam bloggers have suggested this (pimping yourself out, I guess we could call it) as a solution to paying off student loan debt. Perhaps most lawyers aren't what we would brand as "industry pretty" so maybe this approach wouldn't work for them? Maybe they lack charm, likeability & charisma to successfully get someone to do such things (if you're insincere about the person it's manipulation but if you have some warm feeling for them I think "manipulation" is the wrong word)? But if you're in dire straits wouldn't you use each and every asset, advantage, and skill you've got to get out of that situation?

One has to wonder about that future. Maybe once this happens, people will get off their butts & protest. I don't think people want society at large to be that Reba McEntire song "Fancy." I'm not a country fan at all but I heard someone sing this song at my karaoke place in Atlanta & you could see the lyrics at this place. I read them; they are fucking dark & depressing. Read them for yourself & tell me that's not one of the most depressing songs out there.

Country tricks you as a genre; it doesn't sound like it but when you read many of the song lyrics, some of them are just as dark as anything from the goth point of view.

Reaching Out to Strangers on Social Media: There's a Right Way & a Wrong Way

This comes up as I did my forum yesterday. If you didn't get to go, you missed out. Seriously. Jagger was an awesome mod who totally delivered on the promise of educational but accessible (and then some). He made me laugh with the mic talk. I've wondered about such things myself with bar associations, especially City Bar's lack of a sound system considering Thug High had one & we really didn't have much in the way of nice stuff. If Thug High, who has far less money for operations than a NYC bar association, can have a sound system, why the hell doesn't that bar association? I'd really like to know the answer. I can't be the first person to notice such things or say something.

People kept complimenting me on the speakers & my friend Monroe got swarmed by folks afterward. I kid you not. Even my business partner, who attended, wanted to meet him & I made a point to introduce those two. He said he liked Monroe since he was a hustler & remembered me mentioning him before (remember, if I like you & you're on my radar screen you will be mentioned if XYZ thing I remember about you comes up in conversation). That guy will be coming to NYCLA again if I've got anything to do with it. Before I even invited him for this, I knew it would be stupid of me not to. Sometimes being a good leader & organizer means recognizing who's going to deliver the image you're working on + mesh well with your group.

I'm trying to get the "I'm stick of stuffy" demographic since I feel like they've been ignored. I consider myself one of them & God knows I've felt ignored. Plus, what do you expect from the woman who's playing a prostitute in this year's off year show for City Bar?

Even if you're not doing nudity or sex scenes, it takes confidence & a sense of self to portray such a role. I probably couldn't have done it if it was given to me in high school, even though no one there would have believed it since I'm sure most of those guys would find it hard to believe that any guy in his right mind would pay money to sleep with me.

I have had so many compliments from this event from both creatives and lawyers/law students; people thanked me for doing it, thanked my speakers & my moderator (whom I made sure to thank since they totally deserve it & know their stuff). I also think when someone does something nice for you & helps you, you should sincerely thank them for it--at least, this is an American entertainment industry ethic. I even read an article recently on the power of public praise in the workplace & how it raised morale as well as productivity. Some bosses could use that lesson.

My husband also made me proud by networking on his own and doing targeted introductions to my business partner. Meanwhile, as the event organizer, I had to mingle and network amongst my attendees. Don't organize an event if you can't handle this. Funny that I went to an event on Thursday & another industry contact I know told me I was working the room. "Damn," I thought "Here I am, the quiet chick & I'm able to work a room. Okay, then."

As a result of that & doing last night's event, I've gotten lots of cards and met people. I have a TON of follow up to do to say the least.

Then, I've had people send me social media connection requests, particularly on Facebook. Some people use Facebook like I & others use LinkedIn.

Most of the people reaching out have been creatives or I saw they went to my forum so when I got those requests, I was like "Okay, I'll approve it. I don't think this person will try censoring me or telling me what to do." Could you imagine it? I'd handle that quickly, rest assured.

But there are always those people who send you a friend request, have no direct connections to your immediate contacts & have no information on their profiles. You're like "Who the hell are YOU and why are you so anxious to friend ME?"

It pissed me off when it happened on MySpace & it still pisses me off today.

Here's what to do & what not to do if you're reaching out to an industry person you don't know:

1. Tell the person WHY they should friend you. Often, sending a message is best for this (even if it goes to the Other mailbox) but having information on your profile available for the person's perusal or being a mutual contact can help. It does for me, at least. Show me some commonality.

One of my industry friends also agreed that sending a message when trying to friend a stranger is basic etiquette. This is the same thing for LinkedIn connection requests. I select contacts carefully so you won't get a request from me unless I saw something on your profile that interested me like a job, mutual interests, a general ethic, etc. I also do targeted networking & if I think you're going someplace or are where I'm heading, you're going to be someone I wish to talk to. You may end up becoming one of my few trusted contacts as things are moving for me.

At least the good news is I've been getting contacts lately who have their own success so maybe I won't have that whole green eyed monster problem.

2. If you haven't done this & I ask you WHY you want to friend me (which I will do if I can't find any information to support your request like mutual friends, going to my event, etc.), do NOT get all pissy about my asking.

First off, I'm an attorney. Even with entertainment attorneys, who are some of the most accessible and nicest people you will meet in the legal community, you aren't going to get sunshine and roses if an attorney doesn't know you. We attorneys are not in a popularity contest & it benefits you to respect us vs. wanting to have our babies, kill for us or be our best friends. You have to prove yourself to attorneys; as I've said a million times, you can't be an asshole to us.

Attorney may be one of the few occupations where you can get away with being an asshole to others (though maybe judge is better since attorneys can't get away with being assholes to judges). A good attorney is not some doormat throwing people under the bus to impress someone who may very well be trying to exploit them, their contacts or their clients.

Second, I'm a film executive. That's another occupation where you can get away with being an asshole, at least selectively. We are bombarded with people asking for things. It's like wearing a big sign that says "Ask me for favors." You don't even need the sign; people just do it anyway. The higher you are, the more common it is.

There is a finesse and a process to building rapport. Any film exec has every right to be suspicious of strangers who aren't doing the same thing or aren't at their level. Your job, stranger, is to show me you aren't just another asshole asking for a special favor.

Third, my public profile has increased. I'm sure to see more long lost relatives & random others popping out of the woodwork. Having a public profile means you have to be guarded and selective with who you talk to & what information you give. Again, stranger you are the one who has to prove yourself.

3. Don't be an idiot. We have lawyer jokes for a reason. Lawyers didn't get their rep for nothing, as I stated above. Me not being a stereotypical attorney asshole doesn't = embracing total strangers with 100% open arms with no questions on who they are, why they care to see all my personal updates/rants/pics/etc. Creeps & stalkers exist, especially for people in the entertainment industry. If you work in it professionally, you will encounter it sooner or later. It's probably a sign you've made it if you're getting this hassle. Caution saves us time & heartache. Professionals understand this. Not understanding it tells me you aren't a professional or you're extremely naive & something bad will eventually happen b/c you likely give that open arms treatment to strangers.

So, to recap lawyers aren't campaigning for Miss America & the good ones care more about your respect than if you like them as people. What good is someone who likes you as a person but stomps on you, subverts your authority, talks to other attorneys behind your back & excludes you from important conversations with them, etc.? Or worse, that person is breaking every law under the sun but likes you b/c you didn't do anything about it? That doesn't fly in law land; it's a fast track to getting disbarred.

I had someone do this with a friend request. It's like "Did you bother researching me? Did you read this blog? Did you ask around?" Come on, I'm the enforcer! I've also had a lot of haters in life.

Trying to get people to like you is a losing battle since I tried that early in life & failed miserably. When I stopped doing that in 8th grade, I had real friends who had my back & eventually got respect from others since I didn't tolerate anyone trying to demean me. That was worth so much more than the fake friendships I had. Eventually, I let go of all those fake friendships & decided that being in my life and getting my time was a privilege, not something I had to beg or grovel to anyone for.

Seriously, even if you aren't working in the entertainment industry or an attorney it's still a good idea not to go around begging others for approval in life & just be your own person who says "Here I am. Take it or leave it." It's been said a trillion times but it's still true: if you don't look after yourself or respect yourself, no one else is going to.

The "Honey/Sweetie" Debate

I read this Dear Prudence chat on Monday. One of the letters is about a woman who's peeved since her husband, who hails from the South, calls longtime friends, co-workers, other men's wives & waitresses "sweetheart" or "sweetie." Too many people commenting on there apparently consider calling them such things in the workplace (outside of retail or the food service industry) tantamount to lighting dog poop on fire or shoving a thousand TPS reports in someone's face.

Looks like some people need a serious education. First off, the South. In the South, it is a term of politeness & kindness to use "sweetie," "honey," and the like. Oftentimes, it's gender neutral but sometimes it's directly applied to women. This is part of what is known as "Southern hospitality" and "being a polite Southern gentleman."

People live in many different places. Southerners move to the North and Northerners move to the South. Culture clashes are inevitable.

Second, the entertainment industry. The entertainment industry is more informal. All sorts of names fly in my business. I've heard "babe," "honey," "sweetheart," "girl," "dear," and probably more I can't think of right now. Personal space is very different; you'd better like being hugged, especially if you're a woman, or you're going to be looked at funny if you go to an industry event, mingle and then get belligerent if someone hugs you to say "hello." Usually that's with people you already met but sometimes that happens with people you're meeting for the first time. Some people are huggers; my family wasn't shy about such things so it's never been an issue with me. Nor did I read nefarious intent into such things.

Before I say what I'm going to say, let me make clear that I don't condone acting like Dabney Coleman's character in Nine to Five in such an address. There is a context issue involved here. These people DO understand tone of voice, situational context, and so forth, right?

Seeing that letter just triggered a response & here it is: lighten up!!!

Do me a serious favor; if you are the sort of person who gets into a faux feminist outrage because someone referred to you as "sweetheart" in the workplace, stay the hell out of the entertainment industry. You will spend all of your time being offended and never get anything done. In fact, you're probably going to be viewed as a PC obsessed maniac everyone has to walk on tip-toes around. Entertainment people have too much stress and too many things to do to worry about not offending some PC obsessed maniac who's going to correct everyone's language, use the word "ableist" (a term I absolutely hate & think the creator should be punished for creating), and be a real life stick in the mud with zero sense of humor just looking for something to be offended over.

The entertainment business is not for sticks in the mud who have no sense of humor. None of us want to be around that; I sure don't, anyway. Especially people who just look for things to be offended over instead of actually improving themselves.

When reading all these responses to that letter, I agreed with one person who said that if it offends you YOU need to say "Please call me [your preferred term of address]." Acting like "sweetie/honey/dear" is the equivalent of "bitch" is not going to win you points at work. Crying about it & not speaking to the offender directly sure doesn't impress me or make me have sympathy for you.

Perhaps my opinion is a function of working in my industry. It probably is. I'm much harder to offend. I've been called "dear" but that pisses my husband off more than me. If you're not referring to me by a racial slur or as "Red," (it's a pejorative term to natural redheads, thank you; "Ginger" will be fine since then I'll figure you're referencing the Gilligan's Island character & I'll take it as a compliment--I'd have been fine with that over "carrot top" & "red") we aren't going to have problems. I'm the sort of person who prefers "Paleface" to "White: Non-Hispanic." Generally, I mark "Other/Prefer Not to Respond" when asked about race.

Tone is also a concern. Offend me with your tone & you'll have to call me "Counselor" or use the "Esquire" after my last name.

We also refer to people in the South as Mr./Ms. [their first name]. This usually comes with women like Miss Jessica or Ms. Maggie. The women aren't always older or school teachers; my sorority sisters & I even referred to each other as Miss [woman's first name] sometimes.

My feelings can be summed up by the words of one commenter: this person said righteous indignation should be saved for serious issues, not trifling mess like this.

If you ask me, making a big production because your boss called you "sweetie" at work when he does that to everyone undermines the progress of women & their credibility at work. You make all women look unhinged and you make it into a far bigger issue than it should be. If it offends you, deal with the offender right away. Keep correcting the person & if they do it in a nasty tone, don't take it.

But...if there's no malice, lewdness or sanctimony behind it, you make it impossible for women to get ahead. You get us labeled as oversensitive crybabies who can't handle pressure or responsibility. I don't need the overly sensitive PC crybabies coloring other people's perceptions of me. You make life more complicated than it has to be and it can ruin the functionality of business.

Imagine a film set where one of these types is working. Would you want your film crew or your director censoring themselves over a 12+ hour day to guard the fragile sensibilities of this sort of special snowflake?

Oh, and for the people who say "You don't live in the South NOW; adapt to us!" would you mind telling that to all the foreign language speakers who refuse to learn English? I know the average NYC liberal wouldn't get that connection but maybe you shouldn't be telling Southerners to change their mannerisms if you aren't telling illegals to learn English or get out of this country. Same difference.

If you can't handle your own issues, don't expect the world to kowtow to you. You're an idiot if you think that's going to happen in this lifetime. Either deal with them or shut up & please leave the PC obsessiveness at home.

Personally, I like "sweetie darling" from Absolutely Fabulous. At one point, my mother was calling us "sweetie darling." I feel like it's gender neutral & the context of it was funny in the show. Edina asks her daughter when it started & Saffon says "It started because you couldn't remember my name for the first 2 years."