5 Years Later: What Have We Learned?

Lately, I've been a somewhat reflective mood. March 1st was literally 5 years to the day when life as I knew it in NYC changed permanently. What shall we call it? The day my ex-husband decided 100% I had no human worth or the day I fled for my mental sanity? Well, whatever you call it a lot of things have changed & I keep marveling at how things have turned around.

For one thing, I've figured out exactly how to structure my entertainment career. I had exclusive representation then realized it wasn't for me. Maybe it was just the manager I had but I felt like there was too much controlling nonsense going on and I'm not the type who needs Superman to swoop in and save her. A manager contact I actually know said I likely don't need a manager, just a good agent. It felt like where every attorney clamors to get the big law firm job, you get the big law firm job then you do it & realize it's not what you had in mind. In my case, I felt like I was being repressed and having my sense of self-sufficiency taken away. I felt like I was being forced into a mold that didn't fit who I am & I don't want to do a career based around what I'm not. I want a representative who accepts and likes who I am. Somebody who's not going to tell me to hide my film company experience or my law licenses or my producing abilities or get attitude because I'm not some idiot. Someone who's not going to try horning in on things I did by myself or expecting me to placate the insecure assholes who want me to dim my light so they feel better about themselves. I realized I'd rather have my own film production company and create my own content but you need money to do that properly. You'll make far more money doing legal work than you will waiting tables. Recent conversations with sorority sisters who also work in decision making parts of larger companies in the business also made me feel better about this choice since they agreed that I shouldn't have to hide my legal background or my film company experience on my own website and personal social media pages. I'm even getting that creative spark back to start doing writing again & have ideas on what I see going on that nobody is addressing or speaking my voice on. A suggestion to do standup is also something I'm giving real thought to and wondering if I can get receipts if I'm charged for open mic so I can deduct those as business expenses.

I've also been able to afford things I wanted to get and been able to feel more whole again. Getting clothes that were too big for me altered (still working on that). Got renter's insurance, set up an IRA again, got savings accounts, did LASIK and my cosmetic dental work and even got DVDs I didn't get in the big DVD split. Life feels less like deprivation to me now. I even got a new official legal bag and a baseball style jacket and a short sleeved hoodie (things I'd wanted for years & couldn't find). Since my legal hustle has improved and I've made better entertainment contacts, things feel like they're looking up. I've been going to yoga when I can, have a kitty cat around who likes me (not quite like having my own but she is a lot like one of my old kitties in her own way; I'm probably too busy to keep one at this point anyway), have had friends and FWBs who take me out on occasion, fixed problems in my room and living situation I thought would never happen, etc. There's always going to be room for improvement but it feels like many of the problems I've had to deal with aren't impossible to overcome. I even have far better looking in terms of romantic prospects though I'm holding out for Mr. Big Stuff at this point since nobody's come close to surpassing him and I don't think he'd have bothered apologizing to me before if he didn't care at all. He seems a lot like Captain Horndog in the sense that no matter what I do or how hard I push him away, he's just not going to let me push him out of the ring that is my life. I don't feel like a lot of people have that kind of spirit and temerity to deal with the redhead even if she's told you to fuck off, leave her alone, that sort of thing. Part of me feels like maybe he won't ambush me with saying he's going to take up with some other bitch; I know I couldn't do the "let's be friends" thing since I'd really feel resentful of not being given a true shot and like I meant absolutely nothing,

I've been contrasting the new normal with how things were 5 years ago. I still remember it but it's very surreal to me now. I had no means to be independent, I was living in the Scarface mansion, this might have been when I met this really cute guy at an event and he was wowed by me being able to drive a pickup truck after I'd done that out of mere necessity (getting the cat who lived there his cat food since no one else was around to get it and there was no other vehicle I could use for that purpose), I was full on in Phase One of the divorce & had no idea if I was going to be around after October 13th of that year. Months were endless for me, I felt like a ghost and I was fighting to keep things that were just slipping away and vanishing. It also felt like I'd just woken up from a coma when I went to the Scarface mansion & everything had changed.

The perfect symbol of my life is the Cadbury Chocolate Creme Egg.

When my whole "Sex & the City" lifestyle first started, I was eating tons of those. I was staying in the East Village and saw them in the nearby CVS on sale. It was "Chocolate!!! Must get!" Those were something I was able to get and having them helped my emotional state a lot. It's literally super chocolate, a must for the chocolate fiend. Anytime I saw them on the cheap, I bought at least 3 of them. They also got me through 2015 when I was dealing with being on public assistance. I hadn't really had them so much before that whole situation happened.

This year, I go to find those and can't find them to save my life. I look online and no such luck. I can't even figure out what happened. Did they get discontinued? Were they recalled? Why can't you find them? Anything else just pales by comparison. It's made me annoyed but it's also felt like the end of an era, the era of me feeling cheated and wronged from what happened to me. Sometime last year it just felt irrelevant but now since I've been able to do for myself more and get things I've needed for ages but hadn't been able to do in years past, it feels like the scales have balanced out and I don't have to feel cheated and deprived anymore. I also feel like I've survived the worst and anything else that comes my way is far easier to deal with. How can you possibly tell someone who's survived the things I have that she needs to be concerned about what the rest of the world thinks of her or that she's got to cater to someone else's self-esteem problems? On what universe would that ever make sense? I also keep hearing and reading about situations where people followed their hearts, charted their own paths and it led to success. I'm just wondering when the heck I'm getting MY due on such things. As I said, there's still room for improvement though things are far better than they were 5 years ago.

People Suck Everywhere: What's Your Price?

This particular story hits very close to home. In case you aren't familiar with it, he's one of these big shot Hollywood guys lots of indie people would give their eye teeth to meet. My own company apparently had talks with people who were trying to see about us getting meetings with them. I even met someone with a project who had a family member of his who'd offered to produce that project.

Now, stories about men harassing women in Hollywood are sadly old hat in my knowledge. I've heard about and known plenty to avoid, even within my own circle. I've even had guys ask me out who work in this industry in such capacities, to which I respond that they must have mistaken me for a star fucker or think I'm some skank who has to come across to get clients. I get very hostile and nasty about it to where I even added on a dating profile that you won't be dating me if you work in the same industry since I live by the saying "Don't shit where you eat."

As I've heard about more and more of this stuff and if you are hearing about this & thinking of working in this industry, you should ask yourself "At what price am I going to pay to get in this industry? Am I content with never moving into those upper echleons if I have morals and integrity for myself & refuse to play that shit? Can I be satisfied with where I am regardless?" In my case, after much thought my answer is "I'll make my way on my terms and in my way or I don't want it at all." I figure I'd probably end up biting that guy's dick off, hitting in some sensitive area (I've slapped a man for getting fresh before), ruining him big time. I'll bet some of these sleazebags would figure I'm way too mean and angry to let that shit stand or ever go away quietly. Also, as an attorney you have ethical duties not to cosign on societal BS or let other women get harmed; where I have opportunity to be the change and fuck over cretins, bet your butt I'll do it for someone who's got proof, credibility and so forth. You have to wield those swords carefully & know which one to pull out when and how far to swing them. Sometimes you just inform the people who are close or planning to work with that person; other times, you have to use public disclosure and the proper authorities.

This is a guy who was a "liberal hero" donating to queen Hillary and participating in that Women's March months back. So if you thought only conservatives and the ultra-right has cretins, you are dead wrong. I think it has to do with money and entitlement complexes as to why some guy does it. You can find plenty of beastly women as well such as queen Hillary and her anti-feminist, anti-women behavior towards her husband's victims as well as voters who didn't hand her the crown via their votes. It's like "Do I need more reasons to dislike rich people as a group? Must we further The Angry Redheaded Lawyer's classism concerns and assertions of moral superiority because she didn't have things handed to her in life & doesn't believe she can buy people?"

Hell, do I need more proof that rich guys are assholes I want zero to do with and if one ever did actually get love struck over me he'd have to fight against not just my own family's class prejudices but mine as well? I also feel the same way about MDs; they seem to think this lawyer is going to drop her drawers or respond to commands from them on dating sites. God help the MD or rich guy who isn't an asshole who tries getting my attention/interest. Most people's fairy tale mate would be discarded by me since I'd assume that person was arrogant or believed they could buy me.

Political labels mean shit since there are kind conservatives and asshole liberals. See above.

I think I have discovered the meaning of life despite not being screamingly old: it's happiness. You can't buy that, you can't teach yourself to do it or make yourself do it & it's something that if you haven't got, you'll be living in a prison regardless of what you do, what you have or where you come from. There are miserable rich people and happy poor people.

What I look at in these situations is the rule breakers and how they got places in spite of shit like this. I like to think not everyone who's rich or in Hollywood is a sexual predator or an entitled scumbag who thinks people can be bought & sold or moved around like pieces on a chess board. I think of people like Lucille Ball who had her own production company at a time when no woman was doing that & her husband was no white guy. She had to fight to get him on "I Love Lucy," in fact. Not a real redhead but that's the type of thing I look at in planning my life and career; since I know my path is different and the rules really don't apply to my reality, I simply plan my actions with that in mind. I read a post on LinkedIn about how these companies in Corporate America discriminate to this day against minority applicants based on looking at photographs & zip codes in the address on the resume. My brain went to "how do we fuck their system over & shame them?" Also, let's give them the finger then set up better businesses to compete and kill them by doing right what they royally screw up & fail at (and plenty of big companies fail at various things the right business owner could exploit).

My thought process is similar in doing my entertainment career. Give these pricks the finger, become known as a force who does it better & shames them horribly then make sure you don't do the same crap they do. Hold yourself to standards and give hand ups to the deserving and talented in the next generation. Teach others how to fight this shit & don't be a whining victim. I can rest easy with things I've done already and will keep doing though I feel I've not reached my apex yet. Never compromise your self-worth or your integrity or view yourself as "less than" because you didn't eat the old, moldy doughnut offered by these established companies.

Creativity & Messages From the Universe

Nearly a week ago, I had maybe the most personal experience I have ever had with an employment recruiter. I called to follow up on a job ad I saw on Monday and talked to this guy directly, who asked me to send all my resumes (yep, all 4 of them) to see if he might be able to help me in a job hunt.

On Wednesday, I ended up having some things to do and decided while I was going to get my headshots printed (I had to get them in before 12 to pick them up after 5, when therapy would be over & then go uptown for a rehearsal for the next City Bar show) I would see about meeting this recruiter since he'd wanted to meet with me, I could kill some time instead of wasting travel money and I could avoid another trip into the city if he was free. It turns out he was so I made that happen. Unfortunately, I have to get my headshots this week since my resume in a Word format was 2 pages while the version I had at home was 1 page. My problem with an entertainment resume is that I have a lot of special skills & distinct information that should be mentioned which when adding up training and roles, puts me at 2 pages unless I make small margins and lessen the type font.

Somehow, I never have the problem of a resume being too small; mine are always too large with very little information I can feasibly cut. I still have to get my writing resume onto 1 page and have no clue what to omit to make that happen.

Anyhow, I had this meeting with the recruiter. He tells me that I'm far more creative & innovative than him. This very thing, however, is apparently a huge problem in any job I'd want to do and as I suspected, the very thing I'd be suited for is something no employer would actually let me do (since I'm not a 5 year old, actually know what I'm talking about when I speak & violate rules on legal "pedigree" and traditional paths). The conversation ended up getting a bit personal, maybe too personal since at one point I felt the urge to burst into tears. It depressed me since it made me feel that there is no way in Hell I can work for anyone other than myself, no employer could ever appreciate me & the demand that I go find a steady paying job is never going to be fulfilled.

However, the good thing about this recruiter is that he said he got it & something in my voice told him he should meet with me. He also told me he had no clue how to help me though he could listen to me talk all day. Okay.

I was also told to stay in touch & I guess I will since this is the first recruiter I've ever met who got it. Few people I meet outside the creative world really get me, what I do, what I stand for or how my mindset works even though I don't think I'm that hard to figure out. I simply don't have time for bullshit, know how to think & am not a follower. If you can remember these 3 things & respect them, we're good. Those are the people I cherish & respect.

One of my friends even said I have my own box I'm that unique & different from everyone else.

I should probably just pay some of these people to talk to the jerks who think I should go get a job in some law firm or can go easily do just any old steady paying job. Definitely thinking of making that offer to one of my City Bar colleagues who actually knows BigLaw & confirmed exactly what I knew; perhaps hearing it from these people would make these fuckers realize that maybe I know what I'm doing in my life & have some self-awareness, okay?

This weekend, I also read this article & can tell you with authority it's 100% accurate. When I responded to job ads from law firms seeking "hip lawyers," I never got a response. Stories I've read about the operations of law firms and even looking at their websites confirm this a million times over. Stories people have told me about their working experiences at these places confirm that I don't want to be there. I've not bought into the lie that employers value creativity for many years so I see no need for any of them to lie to me about it. To me, that lie is just part of the big dog & pony show I don't care for in the first place.

And you know something? I don't have any passion for many of these employers I see posting jobs I could feasibly do. I looked on LinkedIn job ads yesterday & realized that few of these companies had given me anything to care about or feel any passion for. If I can't get behind what your company does or your mission or feel like what you're doing has value in society, why should I apply? You don't want me to work there because I have a brain in the first place & dare to not be some befuddled little weakling. My lack of passion is just another big reason I shouldn't be there.

I really don't think I lost my father & cousin in these past few months to keep doing the same old shit. I didn't have mortality shine right in my face (my cousin was the same age as my sister) to listen to assholes who just want me to be part of their misery club instead of actually CARING about whether I'm happy or not. My mentality has changed & I realized I have to admit that to myself. I also realized things about my self-perception have changed. I'm starting to see myself as designers, models, fashion industry colleagues and guys legitimately attracted to me see me; this is a drastic turn from thinking I had goth tendencies or belonged in crowds that I really don't.

Call me stubborn but I also don't believe that happiness & personal fulfillment are things you have to buy or are only for rich people. I reject that idea. I'd rather be dead than giving up everything I worked for & give a damn about. For me, what is the point if you are miserable & don't have a single source of joy in your life? Giving up any part of what I do creatively would take away my sources of joy & I feel it's wrong to ask anyone to do that.

Then, I saw a post from a Facebook friend who's an actress (along with a fellow natural redhead) that she had recently lost her job & was concerned about this (as most of us would be).

It gets better. Her boss directly made fun of her for her acting ambitions & sounded just like many of these law firm partners I hear about who've asked my attorney colleagues why they're "wasting their time" on creative pursuits or told them those pursuits were frivolous.

However, she got 3 auditions and a movie offer. One comment on this said that the universe was telling her she didn't need to be at that job & she was on the right path with pursuing acting.

I do also believe the universe gives you messages. For instance, something told me on Saturday to refill my business cards before going out to watch a show I was to review for Woman Around Town (a blog I've written some pieces for in the past few months). Sure enough, I ended up meeting another attorney who was sitting near me for the show & had a great conversation. I've had something tell me to go out or do things many times and ended up having some meaningful conversation or later having a great event happen in my life.

I wasn't even going to interview for the internship position at One Way years ago since I thought I'd have to work in New Jersey & couldn't do that but something told me to go anyway. I did and the rest is history.

The universe has done everything but grabbed me by the shoulders & shaken me while slapping me in the face and say "You need to work for yourself, not chasing after jobs in Corporate America." The evidence just adds up & I don't think you can attribute it to coincidence. The question in my brain is how to get others to understand that; maybe paying those people who say that I wouldn't fit into particular jobs to explain this to those types isn't such a bad idea.

Seriously, though I don't think anyone should ignore their intuition. Sometimes it's accurate and right. Maybe there's also an element of positive thinking in some of this but I also believe in the power of positive thinking considering it does tie in with self-fulfilling prophecy, which is a proven & studied psychological concept.

God, sometimes being both left & right brained sucks! Being the first to do things can also suck.

The "Resolution" & Living By Your Wits

I must be a psychic. Or maybe I'm just smarter than the people working in the public library system.

As I predicted, Mr. Ineffectual did exactly what I expected. He rewarded my husband with a demotion and transfer to a worse neighborhood. My husband then tells me he has to go back to the shit situation he'd dealt with in the first place. I said if he did, we'd no longer have a happy marriage. I also asked how he'd feel if someone hurt me b/c he was "doing his job." He claimed he had no choice & I disagreed. This became a huge fight, where he decided to leave.

The Ineffectual one made the mistake of calling my home while I was on the phone with my brother in law. I was extremely pissed off & trying to talk to my family to calm down. If you'd heard me, you'd know I was in a mood to kill. The phone rang twice & I figured it would keep up if I didn't answer.

I made sure to inform this mental midget about my being an attorney with contacts (you know, not the average schlub who has to suck up to law firm partners). His response? "Good for you."

In retrospect, I should have "But bad for you." It is, after all. However, my husband adamantly refused to mention it to anyone & claimed doing so wouldn't make a difference. Uh, yeah like he knows anything about what it's like to be an attorney or have that on your name. How many incidents has he heard about or witnessed where someone suddenly treated us or me differently after hearing about me being an attorney? You would think the man would know better.

This is also the same man who said the union couldn't help him on various injustices that he informed me about.

Well, I'm ready to give them some credit for this one since they did help him. I warned him that I didn't view these people as MY "betters" and would not be kissing their asses. Those who know me already know I don't kiss ass for anyone. If anything, I'm one of THEIR "betters!"

The union contacted the library's attorney. I expected the attorney to have a brain & say "Wait a minute. You're not allowed to demote this guy for having safety concerns. Plus, what message are you sending to everyone else? The PR will fuck you up as well."

If we'd informed him about me being an attorney, I think he'd have also considered that I could get quality legal counsel far more easily than these other employees (or peons, as I know they are regarded as) if something happened to my husband after all that. Maybe handing the lawyer a slam dunk legal case isn't such a hot idea, right? Especially one with the network & connections I have.

Not mentioning that information means my husband was given a non-option the next morning when he spoke to Mr. Ineffectual. Maybe the attorney should be called Anti-Social Dumbass.

I researched him & learned that not only is he not licensed in NY state but that he's apparently not a member of any bar associations and may as well have zero LinkedIn contacts. Attorneys always mention bar association memberships on LinkedIn. Seems this lack of networking also goes to the top brass there, though you hear nothing but "Network, network, network!" in the legal field even if you are a super veteran. When the ship finally sinks all the way (and we know it's sinking), this attorney will be fucked not just with lack of networking but with my informing people of this situation. He may even have a grievance hearing before him if the library is doing what we & many others suspect they are.

I even went to a program Thursday night were the panelists told people to join the bar associations and get involved there to get contacts!

Ultimately, my husband chose the placement where he'd not be getting a demotion & assured me there wouldn't be a safety issue. The union rep also said there were fewer incidents in this so-called "dangerous" area than in my own neighborhood (which isn't know as a bastion of crime & refuge for criminals).

See why I'm rooting for gentrification and saying "Go fuck yourself" to my local community? Want me to give a damn? Get rid of that manager & don't be silent. Silence is acceptance.

It is, seriously. Not saying "Hell, no! Not taking this shit," = "I'm okay with it" in my book. Don't whine to me about something if you're not talking to the local representatives & demanding accountability for this shit. If you aren't planning a hit against your oppressors or doing something, ANYTHING, to stop them then you've got nothing to complain about. This goes back to my basic attitude about making your own happiness and luck in this life.

Oh, and if you're doing anything to remotely benefit the Queens Public Library don't expect me to pee on you if you're on fire. These pricks made it very fucking personal & this neighborhood I've lived in for 6 years is nothing I take any pride in, not even remotely.

I don't help saboteurs; saboteurs can go drown in acid or face something far more gruesome for all I care. I wouldn't shed tears for their misfortune either; in fact, I'd probably celebrate it. Remember, I never signed up to "be a bigger person"; when you never signed up for such things you aren't held to those kinds of standards.

Also, causing shit in my household and with my loved ones is the same as doing it to me directly. How many of you go around helping or even saying "Hello" in a non-bitchy way to YOUR saboteurs?

My husband isn't on my good list right now either but that's because he doesn't love himself enough to have stood up for himself, told these pricks about that other placement & dealt with his interests as needed. He was too busy going through life like a scared bunny.

Reading a letter in this week's Dear Prudence & some of the comments was illuminating and definitely hit close to home. It was the one about the college student who is stuck in a job she hates, has no family to bail her out if times get rough & wanted to leave, getting an opportunity to move to NYC.

Well, I'm the one who left a paying job in Atlanta to go to law school in CT. I'm also the one who was going to leave with $600, my car & a few personal belongings a few months prior since I hated being in NC that much and saw no light at the end of the tunnel. Condo Man, who was older than me, had a momentary purpose in my life. I definitely am of the "do it while you can" school & favor living by your wits and having some hope in life over being secure but miserable. That is one of many reasons why "security" isn't an argument that resonates with me.

If all else fails, my life will be a Tarantino film. Not an ideal course of action & probably a waste of what I could have done but there will still be some fulfillment of potential, just in a negative direction. If you're going down, go down swinging.

Why is it that 90% of jobs these days require employees to be dogs? Why not stop advertising that you are seeking staff or employees and just tell the truth? You want robots or dogs, not people. Stop wasting time & shitting on people's dignity!

McDonald's obviously hasn't gotten the message either, as you can read in this story. Is it that hard for these CEOs to figure out or are they just so damn greedy & selfish that they can't see or think straight?

Everything's Going to Kill You So Why Bother?

This the take away lesson I've gotten from basic living. What truly prompted this was reading about a study that was done essentially saying that using sunscreen will accelerate your chances of getting cancer.

What the hell was the point of using it in the first place? To prevent skin cancer from the sun. This link is not to the article I read but the article I read said people should wear hats & stay in the shade.

But, wait! If you wear hats all the time, you'll get bald. If you put long hair in a ponytail all the time, your hairline will recede.

We can make this same argument for food. There are diet & sugar substitute products that are worse for you than the sugary version. They say too much soy is bad for you but you saw people touting that as a great health food (perhaps some still do). Then, if you don't have organic you'll just die but the price is ungodly so if you're poor or just frugal it's essentially a big "fuck you." I've hear of no effort to go reform this state of affairs or get subsidies so ALL can afford good food, not even from your biggest supporters of this movement. "Spend $5 on an organic pepper," & Bloomberg's latest campaign to ban larger soft drinks in NYC restaurants, theaters & venues are not solutions in my book.

Cancer runs in my family anyway & it sounds like I could easily get it just because my father is an inconsiderate smoker who never bothered to smoke outside when we were kids (since secondhand smoke will kill you & cause cancer just as much as being an actual smoker will).

I'll be super pissed if I end up getting lung cancer later on despite not being a smoker in my entire life (why anyone in NYC would buy cigarettes in the city limits, I have no idea since the price is utter extortion; the South is the place to buy them, particularly NC where you can see the tobacco fields when you drive in the suburbs of Winston Salem).

Then, you have an increased risk of breast cancer if you don't have a child. But if you have a child, your uterus will probably droop (my sister did not need to tell me about that; I was already convinced that parenthood was not for me). Plus, you have to take care of that (to quote my Family Law professor) "puking, mewling rugrat" for the next 20+ years if not longer.

If you didn't want that kid or the responsibility of parenthood, you will not like being given dirty looks by the likes of me for next 10 or so years because you refuse to parent your child & let him/her behave like an anti-social hell spawn in public. Maybe your child will end up getting choked like this kid did. I also think that kid had it coming & if it was my parents, he'd probably be dead or castrated if his parents were useless deadbeats like it seems far too many are today. Castration might be inevitable for this kid if he treats women like that when he's older.

If the overall stress of parenthood doesn't kill you, then the breast cancer apparently will. But at least the childfree will have their own money to treat the breast cancer.

Doesn't it sound to you like everyone's going to die of cancer if they don't become casualties of the zombie apocalypse or the massive uprising against the 1% & the Christian Taliban first? Maybe some of those casualties will be suffering from cancer at the time.

It also seems you might as well die instead of fighting cancer with all the stories you see about everyone being broke & having medical bills drive them into bankruptcy. Fortunately, I know people who had cancer & apparently haven't become financially devastated as a result but you do have to wonder.

So my thoughts are that sooner or later, I'm apparently going to have cancer like everyone else. If I'm going to end up with cancer no matter how I live or what I do, what's the point in all this needless panicking & craziness in life? I understand & support doing basic stuff like not getting X-rays without wearing the lead shield or putting on sunblock so I don't get painful sunburns (damn pale skin; one drawback of my appearance).

However, I'm not having kids I don't want to raise or permanently wearing a hat. I'm also not spending a trillion dollars on food I don't even like for the sake of preventing health problems. I will also eat what I like, organic or not so long as it's fresh.

I'm from the school of moderation on most things. I don't drink so much but that's because of alcoholism being so thick in my family & not wanting to prove my father right (who I'm still somewhat indifferent toward) by becoming just like him. It took going to college to see that not everyone is an asshole drunk. If you see me drinking on that once in a blue moon day, it's either because I'm uncomfortable & don't want to say something offensive or it was free and I'm taking some obligatory small amount for a sample.

An attorney friend of mine did pose an interesting idea, though: alcohol at live attorney CLE events. That might make dealing with the company of other lawyers more tolerable. You know, perhaps that's why you see alcohol at many lawyer networking events. Maybe they need it to cope with the overbearing asshole lawyer stereotype crowd since the nice, caring crowd either doesn't show up or has other people to talk to. Not to mention some programs aren't fun at all & I'm sure drinking helps make them more interesting for some folks.

I saw an odd infomercial product just for holding your wine glass at networking events. They talked about it on a special episode of World's Dumbest called World's Smartest Inventions. I'd think lawyers would jump all over this one. That episode was hilarious though, with the note pillow & the plant with messages on the leaves. If they sold some that said "Go fuck yourself," "Give me your money," or some other humorous gems I'd be more interested. I think it was also the one that had the dog forks with the woman who made them & seemed to take it just a little too seriously.

Perhaps if pot became legal, we could add getting stoned to the menu of attorney events as well. I stay sober since for one thing, someone has to remember all this stuff & if I see something particularly odd or interesting, I'll have to tape it for posterity. I'm also much more fun sober. Maybe some lawyers already show up stoned to events (hopefully not to court)? I don't know.

I figure if I get cancer, I may have to go & get a prescription for it but then that means having to live in California. Seriously, tax revenues folks. Let's consider that in the legalization argument. You can't cry broke & then turn down things that would make money. That's like my old undergrad rejecting donation money from the guy who runs this huge adult store (legend says this happened anyway; the top brass denied but considering what we knew about this school, I wouldn't be shocked if it was true). Beggars can't be choosers, you know?

At the end of the day it seems like everything will kill you. Even stress from being a lawyer, toxic relationships, too much booze (and if I get liver problems, I WILL be pissed), etc. I'm going to keep eating what I want to eat, damn it. For the same reason I moved to NYC & as I told my mother when she was unhappy about me moving to a major city, I'd rather live a short, happy life than a long, boring one. Wouldn't you?