In the midst of the craziness I'm dealing with in being a cat wrangler (the vet has given our little tabby feline a nearly 100% clean bill of health; we're just waiting on the toxoplasmosis screening), I just noticed that I had all of these ads to rail on including an encounter with someone who has totally missed the boat on Networking 101.
I also encountered a fucking idiot on LinkedIn of all places who apparently decided to denounce non-Jewish attorneys wholesale and when I called him out on it, then claimed "It was a joke; I can't believe you took it seriously. We laughed about it at our office."
Funny but last I checked LinkedIn was for PROFESSIONALS who were doing legitimate things & asking legitimate questions, not a forum to attack my profession or declare yourself superior b/c you're an actor (or to jerk around, for that matter). The awesomeness of Jewish attorneys aside, don't dare make judgments about me when you've never worked with, met me in person or even spoken directly to me.
Attorneys have more education than the average actor, film exec and film producer so you best not be a prick, buttercup. You'd better believe I'm going to call out some mental midget who thinks they've got any prayer in this business by alienating entertainment attorneys. That's a promise.
Take yesterday. I saw this ad on Craig's List posted in the Manhattan, NYC section:
Beautiful Recording Artist looking to network & Gain Exposure!
Beautiful Florida recording artist is seeking someone or a company in Atlanta to help promote upcoming music campaign. Artist is very seasoned, but needs a strong person, that can help build fanbase in that area. Please contact via email for photos & links!
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: neg
Seeing this & having lived in Atlanta for a time (plus not being a fucking idiot & seizing potential opportunity when I see it), I write this in response:
Some free advice: if you want to network in Atlanta, maybe you shouldn't be posting this in NYC Craig's List in the Manhattan section. You should be actually posting in the Atlanta section; you might have better luck there.
As for me, I'm an entertainment law attorney in NYC with a NY & CT law license who went to undergrad in Atlanta. If you think you don't need to know entertainment law attorneys even if you have one or they're in a different region, you're in for a massive wake up call.
Friendly enough, right? Definitely is if you know me. Plus, it's true. Remember that 98% of the creatives I encounter in this business will kiss lawyer butt & that doesn't just go for low level folks; we're also talking A-listers and people very high up in the food chain who can (possibly are) pricks to most of humanity but don't pull that with lawyers.
Here's the response I got:
You are a psycho. Please get a life. Who said ANYTHING about not needing an attorney? not me. Goodbye
My response?
Dumbass! Looks like someone is not only illiterate but completely stupid.
First off, we don't even post our attempt to network in the correct city. Manhattan does not = Atlanta. If it did, I would have found Mr. Right long before I ever moved to the Northeast. In fact, I could have had Mr. Right come with me to NYC if that were the case. Trust me, it's not.
Second, we lie about wanting to network since most people who claim to want to network are not just nice but in some ways are deferential to attorneys. I've had people outright say they were scared of me. I expect basic civility & usually get people falling all over themselves to compliment me or be nice to me.
Third, entertainment attorneys cost a shit ton of money. Friends will get reduced rates and accommodating, regardless of the industry someone is involved in. Would you behave like an ass to a heart doctor if you had a heart condition? Would you be nasty to a criminal defense attorney if you were sitting in jail? Then, why are you being nasty to an entertainment attorney if you are a performer?
Doesn't matter if you already have legal counsel. Your lawyer could die, get disbarred, retire, sell his/her firm, get fired from the mega firm, get suspended (those ethics rules can be strict), steal your money, fall off the face of the Earth, etc. No one who has or wants to do ANYTHING in the entertainment industry is nasty to a licensed entertainment attorney. Ever.
Doing so announces to me that you're not the hot stuff you think you are. If you're trying to do international work, your domestic attorney can't do shit for you when it comes to understanding those contracts. If you think you don't need a NY or CA licensed attorney to do work in NYC or LA, you're not only stupid but a class A, fucking idiot. You might as well just hand over your money to that Nigerian attorney who contacted you about your relative's estate.
Finally, this "very seasoned artist" is trying to network using Craig's List. Guess we're not so "seasoned" after all, are we?
Oh, and since I do what I do & have my track record you'd better believe I'll remember my encounters with you and warn my contacts accordingly. I can be your greatest ally or your worst nightmare. It's up to you.
If you want to respond to this lying airhead before the post expires, here's the reply e-mail:
hjkxp-3702059618@gigs.craigslist.org
More utter stupidity from the entertainment community:
Assistant to Actress (NYC/LA)
Looking for a full time assistant to an actress in NEW YORK CITY and LOS ANGELES primarily.
Applicant must be college educated, be willing and able to travel without notice, have a valid drivers license and live in Manhattan.
Job responsibilities include but are not limited to:
- basic personal assistant tasks such as scheduling and booking appointments, managing calendars, arranging travel, picking up/dropping off dry cleaning, miscellaneous errands, phone calls,
emails etc...
- basic household management tasks such as making sure townhouse functions smoothly (scheduling regular maintenance (AC/HEAT, pest control, security system, gardener, etc), overseeing deliveries of household items.
- professional responsibilities range from liaising with talent agents, publicists, hair and makeup agents, fashion pr on a regular basis and specifically during awards season or press tours.
- responsibilities involved when on location or traveling include driving employer to work when on location, or to appointments, etc, light grocery shopping, managing, organizing, light cleaning of hotel room or house.
Please do not reply if you do not meet the following requirements:
College Educated
Willing and able to travel (sometimes without notice)
Possess a valid drivers license
Live in Manhattan
*Only females will be considered due to the personal nature of the job. Employer is female.*
Hours are flexible but an ability to be on call 24/7 when needed is a strict requirement.
Starting salary is NON NEGOTIABLE $30,000.
Please respond with a resume and short description of yourself and your qualifications.
Location: NYC/LA
Compensation: $30,000
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Posting ID: 3609654649
Assistant to Actress (or is it Underpaid Slave?)
Someone's a moron to think anyone's going to work on-call for that piddling rate. Try triple that salary if you want real responses. Otherwise, this actress should be prepared to be a victim of petty theft. I know I won't shed any tears if that happens.
Entirely true & this is obviously not a legitimate actress if that's the employment terms. May she suffer some skeezy director that makes her life a living Hell! This bitch would totally deserve it for this attempt at slavery.
Tell me, what is up with all these ads from so-called industry professionals that insist on breaking basic labor & wage laws? Here's another one:
Talent Management company seeking an Intern as a Personal Assistant (NYC)
A boutique Talent Management Company in NYC is looking for an intern (unpaid) to work as a personal assistant. Management company works mainly with actors, actresses and models. You MUST have prior experience in the listed tasks in the Film & TV Industries. You need to be well versed in new & upcoming Films and TV shows. You would want to develop a career as a talent manager at some point. You MUST have experience in at least 2 of the below tasks. Please be local as our office is located in Manhattan.
Tasks: (ALL equally important)
• Work with talent and match talent to new & upcoming projects.
• Get updated constantly & get familiar with different casting calls.
• Find & book auditions.
• Connect & network with different casting personnel for the purpose of advancing talent.
Qualities: (ALL equally important)
• Be focused on the tasks at hand.
• Quick thinking and adapting.
• Punctual
• Serious and business oriented.
• Not afraid to step out of your comfort zone.
• Pro-active, someone who does not wait to be told what to do.
* Business Attire a must
You MUST have experience in the above tasks and is able to carry out the above tasks and have the qualities listed. Please also specify in the body of the email what kind of experience you have relating to the film and TV industries. Please send resume as an attachment. If you DON'T have the needed experience, PLEASE, do not reply to this ad.
Location: NYC
Compensation: Full Time Internship
This is an internship job
This was another one warranting a response & another Craig's List ad was posted the same day that tied into the response:
You are obviously NOT a legitimate company or you'd know this ad is totally illegal & would never have posted it. Do you NOT know state & federal labor laws? By definition an "intern" has ZERO prior experience. People with prior experience are called "skilled workers"; those people have to be paid a wage BY LAW.
AND you want "business attire" along with someone coming to YOUR office for ZERO PAY? Who the hell do you think YOU are? Oh, and full time internships are also illegal.
Do YOU pay to work for people? Do you book jobs and NOT take a percentage for them? Do you get percentages when you don't even bother doing the work & talent gets them all by their lonesomes? Would YOU accept such an arrangement? I'll bet you wouldn't forfeit your percentage even if you did nothing to make a job happen.
If YOU wouldn't work for these terms, then what makes you think anyone else with basic competence will? Who would pay $112 per month to do YOUR work? Not to mention the possible expense of hundreds of dollars to get proper business attire (maybe $200 if the person finds a good deal on "business attire"; business suits are about $100 for a single one & decent dress pants go for about $50+ depending on where you go as well as if any alterations are needed). Even a trust fund baby would be pissed off by your arrogance & entitlement attitude.
Go fuck yourself & learn how the business world works. Clearly, you haven't got a clue & I sure wouldn't want you representing ME. Business owners ARE watching & how you treat the lesser of all is a huge factor in our calculations.
Signed, An Attorney Who Owns an Entertainment Business & Isn't a Fucking Scumbag
P.S. There's a law firm dedicated to suing employers who use unpaid internships & they have gone after big industry players. Keep it up & you will be next.
You may also wish to read the following since you are obviously stupid or exploitative jerks who deserve what they get:
THE LAW CONCERNING UNPAID INTERNSHIPS!
JOB SEEKERS..... LISTEN UP!
TO EVEN OFFER AN UNPAID INTERNSHIP,
THE EMPLOYER MUST HAVE THE NECESSARY ACCREDITATION.
PLEASE CLICK ON THE LINKS BELOW AND READ.
http://www.trepanierlaw.com/whatsnew.asp?id=201205012100
http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/07/the-uses-and-misuses-of-unpaid-internships/
http://www.consumer-classactions.com/investigations/internet-scam/are-you-an-unpaid-intern/
http://www.newyorkemploymentattorneyblog.com/2010/05/department_of_labor_issues_gui.html
http://moneyland.time.com/2012/05/02/the-beginning-of-the-end-of-the-unpaid-internship-as-we-know-it/
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/06/business/unpaid-internships-dont-always-deliver.html?pagewanted=all
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/03/business/03intern.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&pagewanted=all&adxnnlx=1338073718-f5iYNeiL9CE6KLAWxef+aw
I wonder if this is for that bitch talent manager who sent me unsolicited communication then had the gall to try charging me for a networking meeting? Such unprofessionalism wouldn't shock me in the least from that corner.
I hope all attorneys involved in production companies check these things out about management companies they deal with & refuse to put money in their pockets. After all, I'm sure someone could make the argument that the filmmaker attorney involved is violating ethics rules by perpetuating that company's violation of labor laws. Facts I stated there are also 100% true; there is a law firm dedicated to suing employers who engage in the practice of illegal internships.
If you want to respond & it's still up, use this:
6xbkh-3696822933@job.craigslist.org
And actors I will definitely note who your manager or agent is & if I know that they are violators of labor laws or doing something remotely shady or unethical that I don't want our company perpetuating by giving them money (or my license being at issue as a result), I will have to pass on you. Sorry you'll have to suffer but you need to take some responsibility for your career & presentation as well. If you want to get someplace with legitimate folks, you need to have credible representatives who aren't breaking laws or abusing others.
Think about how they'll treat you if they treat their interns like shit.
Oh, and there are more reasons for you new attorneys & writers to be pissed off at employers and wish for the owners/management to be immersed head first into vats of hydrochloric acid (HCl for the science geeks; I used it enough in Chemistry lab--I got enough warnings about it being nasty stuff without deciding to go find out for myself). Feast your eyes on these ads:
Blogger Interns Wanted (remote)
Digital marketing consultancy seeks qualified blogging interns.
Learn the business and increase your body of work.
Send resume and writing samples.
College credit available if applicable.
Location: remote
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay
Posting ID: 357974497
This is called "volunteer work." No one's learning anything from this. You can't be a "blogging intern;" you're either a paid professional writer or an amateur/volunteer writer. As far as I'm concerned, most commercial writing should be paid for though at least these people aren't as prickish as they could be: you can work at home.
However, I see nothing about bylines or attribution for your work so why would you bother if you can't even use the samples to get a paying job?
Now, for you new lawyers:
Law Office Intern - Volunteer (Brighton Beach )
Personal Injury Law Office in South Brooklyn needs Intern-Volunteer. We are looking for a person to work full time M-F and be able to commit to work for at least three months.
Small compensation will be provided. Position may lead to future employment.
Experience with personal injury and SAGA preferred.
Please respond by email as to your availability and attach resume.
Location: Brighton Beach
Compensation: Intern - Volunteer
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
I responded to this since I'm an attorney & was shocked to see this ad.
Full time internships are illegal. Go read up on state & federal labor laws.
Furthermore, you're a law firm & whoever owns it is subject to legal ethics rules. I know the ethics rules of NY state apply to Brighton Beach/South Brooklyn. Have some respect for the person if you're already paying some compensation & use the term "assistant" instead of "intern" or "volunteer." That's just insulting & could easily get you disciplined for violating the law.
Do YOU "volunteer" your legal services to clients? If you don't, then maybe you should try getting a clue & having some humanity toward others. You're definitely not helping the reputation of personal injury attorneys and firms with an ad like this.
Seriously, if you're already paying someone for something why are you demeaning them by calling them an "intern?" That's an insult in my book if you are making them work full time. Stop being an asshole & call that person what they are: an employee. Even an independent contractor/freelance arrangement for temporary full time work is better than calling someone an "intern."
This will also piss you off if you live in the area:
Part time attorney needed (Mamaroneck, NY)
Entry level, part time (minimum 20 hours) attorney for a law firm located in Mamaroneck, NY. The firm does civil litigation in both state court and arbitration, and criminal litigation as well. Morning hours only. Your duties will include:
- Case preparation for both litigation and arbitration matters
- Court appearances in both civil, criminal court & arbitration hearings
- Trials
- Legal research, writing & motion practice
- Handling new client inquiries and existing client customer service
- Communicating with courts and other law firms
- Settling civil cases
Military veterans encouraged to apply. If you are over qualified but none the less desire to apply we will entertain your application but we are firm on the starting compensation. All interested candidates please send your resume via e-mail.
Location: Mamaroneck, NY
Compensation: $15.00 an hour non-negotiable
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Reply: vzzqg-3673763465@job.craigslist.org
Why should you new attorneys be pissed off by this? I made $15 an hour on my last freelance gig & didn't have to do legal work. The work study rate at my law school legal clinic for working in the summer was $10 an hour.
Oh, and they "are firm on the starting compensation" even if someone's got years of experience but just needs a fair wage to pay student loans and put food on the table. I think this firm's partners need to live on the streets for a while. Maybe have to rely on food stamps, not be able to pay student loan debt. Sounds like these people are of the ilk that have "hobo parties" at Christmas like that one Wall Street firm did.
If you're wondering why people don't respect the legal profession or numerous attorneys hate other attorneys, especially on a generational level, look no further than these ads.
And this little gem:
In House Attorney Needed (Queens) (Queens)
In House Attorney Needed (Queens)
In house attorney needed for a busy car rental location. We need someone who specializes in labor law, insurance claims, some real estate, and small claims.
Must be great with Motions, Excellent writer and have good research skills.
Can work part time or full time starting salary 30 K
Serious inquiries ONLY
Essential Duties and Responsibilities:
-------------------------------------
* Handling a variety of legal/business matters pertaining to the organization, including providing corporate and commercial legal services.
* Assist the corporation in preparing customers contracts.
* Draft, review and negotiate a variety of contracts related to project development and finance.
* Provide legal advice and recommendations regarding corporate policies and compliance with state and federal laws.
* Pursue legal action against individuals and firms that have breached contracts and caused damage to the firm.
* Review, file and prepare various applications and registrations.
* Prepare documentation to avoid contract disputes with clients.
Requirements
--------------
* 1+ years' experience either with a law firm or in an in-house situation.
* Proven experience in contract negotiations, problem solving and management of risks.
* Proven experience in completing complex transactions
* Commitment to professionalism; flexibility as to the types of projects assigned; and solid business acumen required.
* Ability to multitask
* Strong work ethic and high professional and ethical standards
Sorry, bitches. If you want MY in-house expertise you're going to have to pay me far more than $30K a year. Let's break down the hourly salary for that, shall we?
30,000/12 = $2500 a month
2500/4 = $625
625/40 (though the number could easily be higher with a legal job but let's make this a minimum amount of hours you'd be expected to work) = $15.63 an hour
625/20 (the average part-time hours but with a legal job, assume you'll be expected to do more) = $31.25 an hour
This is not even taking into account taxes. Let's do that now & assume you're taking 25% out for taxes (either you personally or the employer).
2500 x .25 = $625
2500 - 625 = $1875 per month
How much are YOUR student loan debts in a month? Would this amount even cover those? If you're working full time, is this even worth it?
NYC rent would eat up nearly all this paycheck (even in Queens) unless you had roommates, lived in a rent control/stabilized apartment, got housing from Mommy & Daddy, had no children, lived in the boonies where there's zero viable public transit (where your costs would be gobbled up by travel expenses from driving) and weren't the bread winner.
I made $25K when working in a mid-sized law firm pre-law school. Oh, and 1+ year of experience is NOT entry level. Even $30k entry level for an attorney after all the schooling & student loans 90% of us have to incur is an insult.
Crap like this says to me "We want a trust fund baby to do this vs. an actual professional who can interact with the general public without being a total asshole." This is a business owner that announces to me that they do not respect or value legal services to offer such a pathetic rate.
This is a paralegal wage, not a wage for a licensed attorney subjected to ethics rules & who has to pay for CLEs, bar association fees, malpractice insurance, student loan payments, etc.
What "excellent writer" is going to jump on this? Even a trust fund baby who could have gone to Harvard would be able to get far more lucrative job offers than this insult. I would hope any of you who read this blog & aren't dealing with student loans or came from some Ivy League school i.e. could get a BigLaw job in 5 seconds would be insulted by this on general principle.
On the other hand, I saw this ad & never got a response despite the fact that I'd be perfect for such a thing:
Seeking Marketing Partner (Midtown East)
This is not a job- I am seeking a law partner.
Experienced business attorney (15+ yrs.) seeks licensed attorney who enjoys the rainmaking and marketing aspects of business. My practice is in business law including contracts, leasing, licensing, debt negotiations and real estate. My practice already exists and has nice websites. I seek a law partner who is a skilled and dynamic marketer. I provide the skills and experience and will handle the client work.
You must be serious, committed and be able to start in your own practice. No capital is needed, but time must be invested. Experience in law is not as important as being a persistent people-person, make a great in-person presentation and have good networking skills or good existing business contacts.
Thank you.
I would love this opportunity. Somehow, this attorney figured out the perfect arrangement for this legal warrior. Why is it so ideal for me?
1. I don't want to leave my field of interest but as we all know, very few entertainment professionals make a living solely from entertainment work.
2. "Rainmaking" & "marketing" are synonymous with NETWORKING & HUSTLING. These are things I have done a lot in my career. When you own a business, you have to.
If you've got passion for something, it's also very easy to do. People have said to me that my passion for my business/the entertainment industry is obvious & undeniable.
So, could I do this? Yeah! Actually, hell fucking yeah.
3. Most attorneys aren't good at selling themselves. Many will outright tell you this. Few actually do what this lawyer did & actively seek out a partner to just handle that stuff. They try to do it all or make someone do the marketing/rainmaking AND do cases.
4. I don't want to do the client work. I tried doing that; it didn't work well for me. Litigation & court proceedings in particular are not something I consider a solo endeavor. I could do them in a team but not all alone. If it's not an entertainment or strictly transactional matter with a limited duration, I don't want to deal with it. No one I've encountered has bothered to consider paying me a fair rate for it.
My particular circumstances don't even allow me to invest in years on a case.
I want to know why in God's name I can't do this for some firm. Why can't some established attorney/firm realize that it's not good at marketing to some target population & outsource to someone who IS personable, accessible, understands the attorney perspective + has my looks? Most female attorneys aren't getting mistaken for actresses like I often do.
Most don't have the acting training or even my contacts, especially at the stage I'm in. Oh, and show me the attorney you're going to remember after a second meeting.
The only people who don't remember me after meeting me once have mental defects or are just aching to be my future victims if I ever have to go on that crime spree since it would require little for me to victimize them.
It feels like the only way you could do this is if you do BOTH the legal work & the networking, work on commission (which I refuse to do when I'd have to travel, go to networking events, lunch, meetings, etc.) or deal with someone who isn't established enough to pay you a fair wage. You also can't get most attorneys to admit that they have shortcomings & maybe bother being fair to someone who has the skills they don't.
I think $50K a year minimum is more than fair for me to do such things or equity in a profitable practice with coverage for travel costs, admission fees to events, etc. along with autonomy for me & a reduced salary that will still cover student loan payments that's not based exclusively on commission or a draw.
I don't make beelines for people 5 seconds after I arrive someplace & I'm not a huckster. Let me work my way & don't penalize me if I don't bat 1,000 every single time.
A fair job where I made $50K a year would be fine for me but apparently, the employers I see posting ads act like asking for it is akin to demanding one of those $1,000 gold flaked sundaes from Serendipity 3 served on a silver platter (even if you have prior experience). Frankly, if someone can't meet my minimum, they've told me they have no respect for me or my abilities which = they are assholes & I don't want to deal with them. Would you?
Find me that firm or attorney. Seriously, I'd consider such an arrangement. With my name & heightened profile, it looks like you'd be dumb not to talk to me about such things. The average person doesn't want to talk to a stuffy BigLaw suit; they want a living, breathing human being they can shoot the breeze with and let their hair down around.
Oh, and at least one person is just as fed up as me with stupid bullshit ads on Craig's List:
NO BUDGET? NO PHOTOGRAPHER! (New York)
Anyone out there either starting out or looking for work, don't sell yourself short.
If you hear all these idiots on craigslist with "no budget" but in dire need of a photographer, DO NOT TAKE THE JOB. These people will never give you paid work. There will never be any perks to these jobs. These are takers, not givers. Credits on shitty blogs and websites do not pay the bills and unless they're getting over 100k users hitting there sites daily, it won't mean jack shit for you.
If a company wants quality work and a professional, then they have a budget. If they're too greedy to pay for a photographer, why should you give away your hard work and time for free?
Every day I see more and more of these posts and it's unacceptable. We have to stand together and mark them all as spam. Respond to these posts and tell them how it doesn't work that way. I know I do! We have bills to pay like everyone else. We work hard, we don't ask people for free advertising or free camera gear. We pay just like everyone else.
Don't give in to this bullshit! NO BUDGET? NO PHOTOGRAPHER!
STAND STRONG PEOPLE!
Location: New York
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay
Finally, I've had some people who got called out for BS ads bitch and moan about me doing so.
Well, guess what dummy? You post something stupid for public consumption & you deserve all the ridicule you get. Oh, I offended you or you think I'm a psycho, mean, a bully?!?!? Doesn't change the fact that you're a dumbass or a piece of garbage who needs to be taken out for the good of mankind.
You also EARN nice from me; it's not a right or an entitlement. Go fuck yourself with such demands of total strangers, especially those who are attorneys. We're the Sophia Petrillos of the world so lie down & get used to it!
If you aren't speaking out & making change in the world, you are part of the problem. Don't bitch about things if you aren't willing to speak out, be a pain in the ass when needed & create change. No one wants to hear it, least of all me.
Showing posts with label actors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label actors. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Being an Actor: Reality vs. Fantasy
So based on remarks I've seen from non-entertainment people varying from The Jobless Juris Doctor (a law school scam blogger) to Facebook friends of people I am acquainted with on Facebook, I think it's time to clear up some misconceptions about what it's like to be an actor.
In the wake of the whole Charlie Sheen situation, I have seen everything from "Charlie's laughing all the way to the bank & could care less about burning bridges with producers." to "Acting is an easy job while being a lawyer is hard work." I even saw someone have the audacity to claim the rudest industry people alive would be mouthy to attorneys & I know from personal experience + conversations with other lawyers that that is a baldfaced lie.
For the sake of my actor friends, let's get a few things straight right now:
1. Acting is NOT easy!!!!!!!!! While not completely related to this topic, this Huffington Post article highlights some of the things actors have to go through.
There's also having to work when you don't feel well and dealing with some less than kind industry folk (there are some out there). It's the same kind of thing as having an attorney boss who thinks the paralegals & legal secretaries are slaves or lesser than him/her. While the people I know wouldn't actually treat actors like slaves & I've never personally witnessed it, I'm sure there are people somewhere who are openly hostile to actors.
2. Real actors are not in it for the money. Even the kids of celebrities have to start somewhere. You will NOT get paying jobs in acting if you haven't gotten at least some experience doing something. Theater, extra work, indie film, student films...there are plenty of gigs that offer NO pay. Being an actor is all about having to pay dues. If you're related to someone famous, you also have to deal with people assuming you are a dick or have entitlement issues.
Why do you think lots of people who became famous didn't cash in on family connections? Believe me, the ones who do that become much more respected since they aren't perceived as line jumpers or spoiled brats.
The average person only hears about the established, famous actors doing things (which are a very small percent of all actors) instead of your more typical working actor who is not earning a steady weekly paycheck working a 9-5 job.
If you start out in acting immediately demanding paid work, you're either going to be relegated to permanent extra work or eventually go broke because no one hires you.
How many times have you heard about actors walking away from roles where they were making obscene amounts of money, simply because they were sick of the role? Something else is at work besides money.
3. It takes FUCKING EFFORT to be an actor. You don't just read lines from a script. You have to make the material come alive and create a story that the audience wants to see. Bad acting can kill a project just as effectively as bad writing, bad promotion, etc.
Try memorizing 20 pages of lines in a week as well as rewrites that could be a short time before filming. There aren't many people who are memorization experts & that's what you have to do when filming a TV show. You may have more time for a film or theater but you still have to deal with rewrites, blocking (the movements you will perform while doing the scene), etc.
So, if you think acting is SOOOOO easy, I offer the same challenge to you that I offered to The Jobless Juris Doctor: do an acting project yourself. Theater, extra work involving exteriors on a cold day/little clothing/something out of your comfort zone, any project that will give you some perspective. Ideally, you'll have to memorize lines or spend a lot of time with many people.
Believe me, you're going to learn some things.
If you still think I, someone who actually WORKS in the entertainment industry + has done some stage performance, am less credible than your non-industry opinion or that of your non-industry friends, then you're an idiot. I'll have to ream you out for whining about YOUR job next since I'm sure someone has a harder one that you (including parenthood since there are people whose kids have worse ailments & handicaps).
In the wake of the whole Charlie Sheen situation, I have seen everything from "Charlie's laughing all the way to the bank & could care less about burning bridges with producers." to "Acting is an easy job while being a lawyer is hard work." I even saw someone have the audacity to claim the rudest industry people alive would be mouthy to attorneys & I know from personal experience + conversations with other lawyers that that is a baldfaced lie.
For the sake of my actor friends, let's get a few things straight right now:
1. Acting is NOT easy!!!!!!!!! While not completely related to this topic, this Huffington Post article highlights some of the things actors have to go through.
There's also having to work when you don't feel well and dealing with some less than kind industry folk (there are some out there). It's the same kind of thing as having an attorney boss who thinks the paralegals & legal secretaries are slaves or lesser than him/her. While the people I know wouldn't actually treat actors like slaves & I've never personally witnessed it, I'm sure there are people somewhere who are openly hostile to actors.
2. Real actors are not in it for the money. Even the kids of celebrities have to start somewhere. You will NOT get paying jobs in acting if you haven't gotten at least some experience doing something. Theater, extra work, indie film, student films...there are plenty of gigs that offer NO pay. Being an actor is all about having to pay dues. If you're related to someone famous, you also have to deal with people assuming you are a dick or have entitlement issues.
Why do you think lots of people who became famous didn't cash in on family connections? Believe me, the ones who do that become much more respected since they aren't perceived as line jumpers or spoiled brats.
The average person only hears about the established, famous actors doing things (which are a very small percent of all actors) instead of your more typical working actor who is not earning a steady weekly paycheck working a 9-5 job.
If you start out in acting immediately demanding paid work, you're either going to be relegated to permanent extra work or eventually go broke because no one hires you.
How many times have you heard about actors walking away from roles where they were making obscene amounts of money, simply because they were sick of the role? Something else is at work besides money.
3. It takes FUCKING EFFORT to be an actor. You don't just read lines from a script. You have to make the material come alive and create a story that the audience wants to see. Bad acting can kill a project just as effectively as bad writing, bad promotion, etc.
Try memorizing 20 pages of lines in a week as well as rewrites that could be a short time before filming. There aren't many people who are memorization experts & that's what you have to do when filming a TV show. You may have more time for a film or theater but you still have to deal with rewrites, blocking (the movements you will perform while doing the scene), etc.
So, if you think acting is SOOOOO easy, I offer the same challenge to you that I offered to The Jobless Juris Doctor: do an acting project yourself. Theater, extra work involving exteriors on a cold day/little clothing/something out of your comfort zone, any project that will give you some perspective. Ideally, you'll have to memorize lines or spend a lot of time with many people.
Believe me, you're going to learn some things.
If you still think I, someone who actually WORKS in the entertainment industry + has done some stage performance, am less credible than your non-industry opinion or that of your non-industry friends, then you're an idiot. I'll have to ream you out for whining about YOUR job next since I'm sure someone has a harder one that you (including parenthood since there are people whose kids have worse ailments & handicaps).
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
How NOT to Raise $ For a Film
I've seen these 2 ads on Craig's List & I feel a rant coming on.
First off is this one:
Feature-Length Movie (w/Emmy-Talent) Seeks Actor/Actress/Co-Producer
Date: 2010-12-22, 11:18AM EST
Reply to: gigs-aseax-2125363536@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
If you are an excellent actress/actor and fit the part, you can become involved w/award-winning talent. Our last movie nearing completion includes work from "the next George Lucas" stated by ABC World News Tonight, artist which directed a feature movie for Harvey Wienstein(Exec Prod of Kill Bill, Lord of the Ring) and musical talent with platinum-album work & hits for Beyounce and Christina Aguilara.
Do you want to be part of our next full-feature movie w/a screenplay by an Emmy-Award winning writer? You must be able to co-produce with us by contributing as little as $2,400 (a small amount overall budget).
Please send headshot & write in email " Yes I can act. Also, I want to possibly be a co-producer."
This is not an offer or a solicitation. This is an audition notice to actors/actresses.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay
PostingID: 2125363536
I remember going onto either the SAG or AFTRA website recently & reading that it's a violation of union rules to make your actors bankroll their own project. It's one thing if someone volunteers to do it but this clearly makes funding a requirement.
So, I wrote this initial response:
I do hope you're NOT asking actors to invest money. I know for a fact it's against SAG rules & you're not making any friends by being a classist jerk. There's lots of talented people in the world who aren't millionaires & don't have thousands of dollars to invest money. Are you going to start charging crew people or act entitled to freebies from professionals offering expensive services?
Find your investors separately like you're supposed to. How about crowd funding on a fundraising website? Those are better options than getting in trouble w/SAG or making actors spend money to work with you. I have a bad taste in my mouth just reading this ad & I know a thing or two about the industry.
Today, it occurred to me that's another very good reason why you don't want to do this. It has to do with a basic principle of securities law & is something that anyone who's worked w/a knowledgeable lawyer knows about. I'm not revealing it here since I don't give free legal advice; go ask your knowledgeable attorney.
You also know that people asking for this sort of thing will also act entitled to free editing services, music composition, legal help, art design, etc. All things that cost money if you want it done correctly (unless, of course, you've got friends who like you).
So, when I saw the same ad AGAIN, I decided to respond in this way:
Subject: Yes I can act. NO, I don't want to be extorted for money b/c you're too lazy to follow securities law.
More evidence that you're full of crap: clearly you don't know beans about securities law & classes of investors.
No sane filmmaker would EVER suggest that actors fund their own project unless that actor was super-rich. But then again, why would an actor who had the money to fund a project pay to work for someone??? They could form their OWN company & do their OWN project where THEY had the final say. That's what famous actors do.
Again, if you're such a big shot, why are you posting such ridiculousness??? You should have a competent attorney who'd tell you exactly why it's career suicide to cast for projects in this manner. Otherwise, you're just a scam artist who should be outed & blacklisted to the industry.
I can't wait to see what these dodos have to say for themselves. No credible filmmaker I know would EVER do this since they want talented people, not rich people, acting in their projects. If you are an actor with both, again you could do it by yourself or ask your friends. No need for you to bother w/morons like this who will bring you down & ruin your reputation.
Just got a notation saying this ad was no longer active. Thank God!
Here's ad #2:
Actor With Investor Contacts (Downtown)
Date: 2010-12-21, 10:26PM EST
Reply to: gigs-vezet-2124843936@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
A feature film with famous talent attached is looking for an actor can raise the remaining capital. A limited amount needs to be raised. The actor will receive a principal role and percentage of the film.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: TBD
PostingID: 2124843936
A little less offensive, but still makes no sense. I had to write this response:
I certainly hope you aren't attempting to get an actor to pay for the project out of pocket. That's not only stupid under securities law but violates union rules.
How about doing your OWN work to find investors since if an actor had investor money, why wouldn't that person just find their own people, work w/their friends or create their own company w/any number of projects they could star in??
Or how about getting your "famous talent" to find investors? Shouldn't THEY know rich people? If they want to make the project happen, they might be motivated to make some effort.
I think it's a very fair question. We didn't have famous people in our early works & we didn't demand our actors to fund it. Nor did we base casting decisions on who had a sugar daddy/mommy. My sorority didn't even base membership decisions on people's net worth or connections; we considered things like having to be around the person all the time & how that person would represent our group.
I know it gets done but in the scenarios I know of, the actor w/the sugar daddy (usually this was a woman) already established that she had talent & wouldn't ruin a project. It was more of a bonus to working w/someone who had talent than an exercise in seeking out some bored rich kid w/no acting chops. Some people will call themselves "actors" even if they are unconvincing, behave like divas & make audiences want to throw rotten tomatoes at them.
Again, if you had the money to fund films, why not make your own project & work w/your friends? You'd get the final say, could work w/whoever you wanted + be the master of your artistic integrity.
So, actors don't fall for this crap. Real filmmakers who people want to work with & who will produce quality work cast based on talent.
Access to money will speed things up & it might help your chances if the selection is close but sane people don't go on these hunts. They look for investors separately & wouldn't put someone's boy/girl toy in the lead w/out an audition or at least a decent resume proving the person has real talent.
At the end of the day, everyone has their reputation to consider.
First off is this one:
Feature-Length Movie (w/Emmy-Talent) Seeks Actor/Actress/Co-Producer
Date: 2010-12-22, 11:18AM EST
Reply to: gigs-aseax-2125363536@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
If you are an excellent actress/actor and fit the part, you can become involved w/award-winning talent. Our last movie nearing completion includes work from "the next George Lucas" stated by ABC World News Tonight, artist which directed a feature movie for Harvey Wienstein(Exec Prod of Kill Bill, Lord of the Ring) and musical talent with platinum-album work & hits for Beyounce and Christina Aguilara.
Do you want to be part of our next full-feature movie w/a screenplay by an Emmy-Award winning writer? You must be able to co-produce with us by contributing as little as $2,400 (a small amount overall budget).
Please send headshot & write in email " Yes I can act. Also, I want to possibly be a co-producer."
This is not an offer or a solicitation. This is an audition notice to actors/actresses.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay
PostingID: 2125363536
I remember going onto either the SAG or AFTRA website recently & reading that it's a violation of union rules to make your actors bankroll their own project. It's one thing if someone volunteers to do it but this clearly makes funding a requirement.
So, I wrote this initial response:
I do hope you're NOT asking actors to invest money. I know for a fact it's against SAG rules & you're not making any friends by being a classist jerk. There's lots of talented people in the world who aren't millionaires & don't have thousands of dollars to invest money. Are you going to start charging crew people or act entitled to freebies from professionals offering expensive services?
Find your investors separately like you're supposed to. How about crowd funding on a fundraising website? Those are better options than getting in trouble w/SAG or making actors spend money to work with you. I have a bad taste in my mouth just reading this ad & I know a thing or two about the industry.
Today, it occurred to me that's another very good reason why you don't want to do this. It has to do with a basic principle of securities law & is something that anyone who's worked w/a knowledgeable lawyer knows about. I'm not revealing it here since I don't give free legal advice; go ask your knowledgeable attorney.
You also know that people asking for this sort of thing will also act entitled to free editing services, music composition, legal help, art design, etc. All things that cost money if you want it done correctly (unless, of course, you've got friends who like you).
So, when I saw the same ad AGAIN, I decided to respond in this way:
Subject: Yes I can act. NO, I don't want to be extorted for money b/c you're too lazy to follow securities law.
More evidence that you're full of crap: clearly you don't know beans about securities law & classes of investors.
No sane filmmaker would EVER suggest that actors fund their own project unless that actor was super-rich. But then again, why would an actor who had the money to fund a project pay to work for someone??? They could form their OWN company & do their OWN project where THEY had the final say. That's what famous actors do.
Again, if you're such a big shot, why are you posting such ridiculousness??? You should have a competent attorney who'd tell you exactly why it's career suicide to cast for projects in this manner. Otherwise, you're just a scam artist who should be outed & blacklisted to the industry.
I can't wait to see what these dodos have to say for themselves. No credible filmmaker I know would EVER do this since they want talented people, not rich people, acting in their projects. If you are an actor with both, again you could do it by yourself or ask your friends. No need for you to bother w/morons like this who will bring you down & ruin your reputation.
Just got a notation saying this ad was no longer active. Thank God!
Here's ad #2:
Actor With Investor Contacts (Downtown)
Date: 2010-12-21, 10:26PM EST
Reply to: gigs-vezet-2124843936@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
A feature film with famous talent attached is looking for an actor can raise the remaining capital. A limited amount needs to be raised. The actor will receive a principal role and percentage of the film.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: TBD
PostingID: 2124843936
A little less offensive, but still makes no sense. I had to write this response:
I certainly hope you aren't attempting to get an actor to pay for the project out of pocket. That's not only stupid under securities law but violates union rules.
How about doing your OWN work to find investors since if an actor had investor money, why wouldn't that person just find their own people, work w/their friends or create their own company w/any number of projects they could star in??
Or how about getting your "famous talent" to find investors? Shouldn't THEY know rich people? If they want to make the project happen, they might be motivated to make some effort.
I think it's a very fair question. We didn't have famous people in our early works & we didn't demand our actors to fund it. Nor did we base casting decisions on who had a sugar daddy/mommy. My sorority didn't even base membership decisions on people's net worth or connections; we considered things like having to be around the person all the time & how that person would represent our group.
I know it gets done but in the scenarios I know of, the actor w/the sugar daddy (usually this was a woman) already established that she had talent & wouldn't ruin a project. It was more of a bonus to working w/someone who had talent than an exercise in seeking out some bored rich kid w/no acting chops. Some people will call themselves "actors" even if they are unconvincing, behave like divas & make audiences want to throw rotten tomatoes at them.
Again, if you had the money to fund films, why not make your own project & work w/your friends? You'd get the final say, could work w/whoever you wanted + be the master of your artistic integrity.
So, actors don't fall for this crap. Real filmmakers who people want to work with & who will produce quality work cast based on talent.
Access to money will speed things up & it might help your chances if the selection is close but sane people don't go on these hunts. They look for investors separately & wouldn't put someone's boy/girl toy in the lead w/out an audition or at least a decent resume proving the person has real talent.
At the end of the day, everyone has their reputation to consider.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Undercover as an Extra - Guess I'm No Longer an "Ugly Girl"
So officially, I can no longer be referred to as an "ugly" girl or someone who is unattractive. Whoever casts extras for Gossip Girl recently picked me to portray a member of the fashion elite i.e. one of the "beautiful people" as part of background work. I was doing this Monday & yesterday in my very first gig as an extra for Central Casting.
You won't read plot lines here since even if I hadn't signed a form agreeing not to discuss it, I know why they don't want that getting out & if it were me, I'd make certain we did the very same thing. I'm going to talk about my human observations & experiences.
Now, I've heard many stories about the experiences of being an extra. How some sets are abusive while some are tons of fun. Different stories from different people I know. As an actress who is also an entertainment law attorney & partner in her own indie film company, there's no real reason I have to do extra work. I don't have to go garner favor from people, I have no shortage of people who think I have talent & when someone is so impressed with you after seeing you audition that they want you to create your own character in their comedy show + say you're almost too good at the lead role, that means you are nobody's slouch.
Let's face it: I'm in the position to get significant creative opportunities your average actor or even actor/attorney in a different field would never get. Even SAG membership is not something I have to go around begging or groveling for since I will have significant chances to get it sooner or later. For those of you outside the industry or who are novices, people would KILL to get into SAG & oftentimes, if you aren't a member you do not get to move up in your career.
The entertainment industry has spoken in many ways but this is the final word: for those of you jerkwads who called me "ugly" as a kid or think redheads aren't pretty, piss off.
Out of all the background people at my 2 days, I was the only natural redhead present out of over 100. The only person with even my hair shade. Actually, that includes everyone working in front of the camera on the show. I also brought 2 wheeled suitcases for wardrobe checks & had a very distinct coat (my fake fur leopard print that I wear when it's subzero outside). Random non-background people w/the show even complimented my ensemble as did the wardrobe people. Even the hair person doing my hair complimented its color. The red hair compliments happen a lot but still, I always respond politely since I never get sick of compliments in general.
So, without further adieu, some observations & comments:
1. Actors are a very, VERY whiny bunch: Don't get mad at me for saying this but the behind the scenes people have a very valid point here.
When I first arrived, I heard some vicious things about Central Casting & a woman working with the wardrobe department. One actress near me was talking about how this woman was evil, that she hated her & that this woman had apparently driven some background person to tears.
My experience was that perhaps this woman was a little brusque when we were determining a line up for coats but was polite to me the next day when she checked me in for the wardrobe match-ups. I have no room to say a word about brusqueness since I'm certainly a ball buster when I have to be. People have certainly taken issue w/my tone on things & I admit to being quite blunt.
The same goes for the first Assistant Director named Peter. He had to tell the background people numerous times to be quiet & instruct us ladies in high heels to walk quietly while going up & down the stairs. After we were done with one particular scene, I heard a different background actress have a HUGE conniption fit over the high heel thing. I also heard some very unflattering remarks about this man from other actors on the talking. I even overheard the director, the legendary Andrew McCarthy of '80s film fame, getting annoyed w/the loud chattering.
If Peter or some friend of his happens to read this, he should know that this entertainment attorney/indie film company executive approves wholeheartedly. He was far more polite than I'd likely have been. I'd have started having people released & encouraged the folk managing the extras to call talkers out in front of everyone. Insubordination doesn't fly with me or in the legal arena & if it happened in my company, I'd hear about it in a moment. You have to nip that in the bud.
Plus, I figured out how to master the quiet shoe thing w/out foam on the bottom: you plant your feet very slowly and/or walk on your toes.
Tell me, is following directions difficult? When they say "don't talk", you don't keep talking. You shut the hell up! That's not hard. When someone tells you to do something, you do your damnedest to make it happen.
I was in one section where I was near an entrance to the set. People kept coming in behind this fabric over the door. After it kept up, I asked the person at the door if we could have a signal or something to alert us when someone was coming in so people at this door wouldn't get hurt. The person agreed to knock. When we heard it, we pulled up the fabric so people could get in. After a point, I felt like they should be paying me for PA work since so many people were going in & out.
Perhaps it's because I'm an industry insider but I believe in not making life more difficult for people. I was on set for a day when Cookies & Cream was being filmed. To my mind, my task was to make sure things were going as they should & our biggest name, Ardie Fuqua, was taken care of. He was nice enough to take time from his schedule to work in our film so it's the least we could do.
I heard a LOT of complaint about changed directions & positions from person to person. A tip to note: things can change on a set. The director may want to try something different or your outfit may be causing a glare someplace. God only knows. Be flexible & don't bitch about it.
Scott Powers of the Scott Powers Studio offers a list of Weekly Tips.
While I don't publicly endorse him since I've never attended any of the forums or used his workshops, I will say that these tips are extremely spot on from my experience as an insider. Many of these tips will tell you similar things that I'm saying: I recall one in particular that says not to trash agencies & others because word does travel and you can be blacklisted. I also don't think he'd publicly support someone like the con artist at the sham TV network I dealt with last year.
Hearing these comments in this capacity is even worse than trashing a former employer in a job interview. I was present & saw the conduct of the people you trashed firsthand so you don't even have the advantage of making me wonder whether some former employer indeed violated labor laws, used racial slurs against you, sexually harassed you, etc.
2. Watch how you treat EVERYONE: This doesn't just go to background people. This goes for PAs, crew folk, directors, ANYONE! I don't care how big a name you are or how known you are. You never know who might be a non-union insider like me. Major big-wigs in this business will instantly be nice to an attorney, especially an entertainment attorney. Even a newbie like me has gotten this sort of treatment & others have told me similar stories. We're not even talking about your average background slave type; I'm speaking of executives, industry veterans, people who might be truly nasty to you if you weren't one. People with very impressive jobs in the business have point blank told me they were impressed with my background or admired me for doing all that I have. I've not even reached my apex yet.
Because I did not walk onto this set with a plan to get fawned over just for my job or my credentials, I only told a few people my second day in. One person from the TV network scam came up to me at lunch yesterday & vouched for me. He said I was actually one of the nicest people w/the company & seemed to care since I warned people about the scam. I pointed out my obligations as an attorney & that I warned people I truly felt had a shot in the business based on their behavior toward me. He did agree not to loudly or publicly out me.
As for the bigger name folk with the show or anyone else, the people getting trashed by the background are the people I'd love to deal with. Those people will get things done & be efficient instead of being too soft or letting anyone ride them. I have to admire that in others since I'm the same way.
I didn't see star trips or rudeness toward me or others from the "names" but no one really acknowledged me either even though the show's director did personally direct me & some other extras in one scene since we were right near the show's action. More on that in a bit.
But for now, they at least did graduate from my disdain to my indifference. Meaning I won't hold your work on a show I don't care for against you but I'm also not going to vouch for you among my partners if you or your agent comes in wanting to work with us. To get me to vouch for you, you'd better reach out to me first instead of expecting a meeting b/c you said you worked w/me & pointing to my IMDB page as evidence (if my gig gets listed there). They'll just ask me about it anyway. Plus, doing that before you speak to the person first is bad form (especially in entertainment).
Oh, and if you're SAG? Don't get cocky about getting to eat lunch first. I saw a SAG guy doing this while us non-union folk were waiting in line? Do you think that after you do that to me, I'm letting you get involved w/my company? Ha! You won't even make it to the audition b/c I'll tell my partners & they'll tell the casting people.
That's a character flaw none of us need or want in our lives. That's a turd who'll abuse PAs & belongs in permanent background limbo. Wish I'd gotten his name but I know what he played (wasn't one of the beautiful people). Star trips: contrary to legend, you'd better not try it with producers, executives, the people who can get you an audition or keep you out permanently. It's happened to countless actors, even big names who got too big for their britches (as my mom would say).
3. PETA has done something vicious to big name TV production companies: The content of my coats was a huge issue. The wardrobe people told me point blank that they couldn't use anything w/real fur. They also had to put me in a different spot b/c of my other coat looking like a real fur coat.
Damn you, PETA! While I'm not anti-animal per se, I'm a pragmatist. I have a real rabbit skin coat that belonged to my husband's grandmother along w/a few real fur items. This coat has probably existed long before I was born so what would you have me do now? It keeps you warm, it has function & when you don't have money, it's not the time to get hung up on particular principles. I would not demand a custom real fur to be made for me but if the animal has long been dead, what good does it do to reject that product when someone else will take it?
I also have a hard time taking PETA seriously when many of the members are hypocrites & attempt to promote censorship + shut down various industries instead of provide a reasoned viewpoint. Whether I eat meat or not is not your business. They're just as bad as religious zealots & I have a huge problem w/anyone daring to control my life.
Unless these people want to start PAYING for my monthly expenses, the extra costs of organic items & generally any cost difference resulting from traditional items vs. organic or animal friendly products for everyone who can't afford it, it's time to shut the hell up. Until you put your money where your mouth is, you have no room to criticize anyone for doing the best they can when they are broke. I will fight anyone to the death on that point.
4. We see right through you: Oh, I do! After mentioning that people treat you different when they hear about a background like mine, many actors joined that chorus of "Oh, I don't suck up to people. I act however they treat me." You don't fool me, kid! I look for behavior, I look for actions. Talk is extremely cheap, especially in the business. Let me see how you conduct yourself & get lessons. I made this disclosure to one person who spent a lot of time not following directions & apparently spoke to the actor who knew me from the scam fest. I'll say this: I didn't hear him trashing folks after that.
One actress I spoke to on this was quite pleasant & had I seen her when I left, I would have given her my card but I'm easy to find. After all, I bought my name for my website domain name & the first results on Google are my film company, LinkedIn profile, etc.
5. Being the only person with your look helps: I got moved up close to the action on Tuesday. I suppose I got some choicer spots the day before but every time I tried turning on my laptop to see if I could get Internet or do some corrections to sample legal documents so I'd have viable samples when I need them, it seems like I was needed on the set. Then I was put in one point & was moved up when Heather, the woman placing extras says "The redhead! Come here."
If I make it to the air, you're most definitely going to see me if you look. If someone's looking for a redhead, chances are you'd see me. As I said, I was also placed in areas close to the action w/very few others around me, in fact making it to the camera. I was put in places enough that she started to know me by name.
At one point, Andrew McCarthy himself directed me & the extras around me for one scene where we were reacting to the main action. I did inject some creativity into mine, sort of doing this slight double take but it was entirely on instinct.
6. Abuse? This is nothing: Going back to #1, I was absolutely right that being a background player was far less demeaning than doing document review (despite better pay for document review). In document review, there was extensive draconian behavior & a particular "little Hitler" who was supervising the only assignment I did. Not to mention the inconsistency of policies. At least when background was told to be quiet, ALL the background had to shut up. They didn't let one or two get away with it like what happened in the assignment I was at when that guy was on his cell phone so loud, you could hear his conversation while the reviewers couldn't talk to their seatmates.
At least in being an extra, you get some flexibility for creativity. I attempted some on my own, perhaps instinctively. You get encouraged to do that in entertainment. In a law firm, HA! They may as well hire robots to be associates. I'm honestly shocked that hasn't happened w/the utter discouragement of creativity in that field.
They don't feed you the things you get from being an extra. No "crafty" breaks w/food & no lavish lunches. You're lucky to get pizza on Fridays & the occasional bagel breakfast. Here? Much better stuff. Partly due to union rules but far superior to what you'd get on document review, which requires just as many hours.
7. SAG vs. Non-Union: If you're SAG, you eat first and get paid more but you work longer hours. I like seeing my husband so I didn't mind going home when I did. Plus, I did get more sleep.
8. If I got famous, I'd need this shirt from T-Shirt Hell: The first day I was on set, we were outside part of the time. I saw tons of onlookers w/cameras taking pictures with flashes. It made me laugh when I figured these people were looking for big shots & likely just got PAs and background people in their shots.
Tuesday, when we were leaving the set, I saw more onlookers in the area we had to travel from.
It also pissed me off, though. I felt like a zoo animal or some celebrity dealing with paparazzi. How do you famous faces deal with it? I'd hate all the restrictions on my life and travel.
I have even more sympathy for it after having to experience it myself but God help you if you ever piss me off. If I'm getting this onslaught on you, that means you did something truly nasty like harming one of my family members/business associates/friends. You'd love my non-star struck family, though. Especially my mother, who's still nobody's "yes woman" & probably explains a lot about why I am as I am.
I also understand why people in the business end up with drug and alcohol addictions. I think I did beforehand but after doing this for 2 days & seeing some of it, I definitely get it.
The verdict: Would I do this again? Sure, if I have time, the right outfit & think a particular background role might be up my alley. I'm married so no nudity, kissing, etc. I also don't think I'd be able to play hooker since I'm a bit more demure & evoke too much class to be truly convincing. I'm not too certain what you'd call "my type" since I do look so different & sort of am a minority unto myself; I'm of the "here I am, decide where you want to put me" school.
So thanks, Central Casting & Gossip Girl extras casting folk for proving to me once and for all that I actually am pretty. That self-esteem boost made my century & will give me ammo against anyone trying to underplay or disparage my looks.
I also saw professionalism, contrary to what any whiny factions might have to say. Apparently, some background people consider this set to be miserable but that really wasn't my experience. I was completely shocked when that actor who recognized me said I was "nice" because I can be very nasty when someone's irked me. Hell, I'm "the enforcer" so anyone doing their own enforcing is okay in my book if our end purpose matches up.
So next time you have the experience of background work or have people come in for it, there may very well be an industry insider in your midst who could make you or break you.
You won't read plot lines here since even if I hadn't signed a form agreeing not to discuss it, I know why they don't want that getting out & if it were me, I'd make certain we did the very same thing. I'm going to talk about my human observations & experiences.
Now, I've heard many stories about the experiences of being an extra. How some sets are abusive while some are tons of fun. Different stories from different people I know. As an actress who is also an entertainment law attorney & partner in her own indie film company, there's no real reason I have to do extra work. I don't have to go garner favor from people, I have no shortage of people who think I have talent & when someone is so impressed with you after seeing you audition that they want you to create your own character in their comedy show + say you're almost too good at the lead role, that means you are nobody's slouch.
Let's face it: I'm in the position to get significant creative opportunities your average actor or even actor/attorney in a different field would never get. Even SAG membership is not something I have to go around begging or groveling for since I will have significant chances to get it sooner or later. For those of you outside the industry or who are novices, people would KILL to get into SAG & oftentimes, if you aren't a member you do not get to move up in your career.
The entertainment industry has spoken in many ways but this is the final word: for those of you jerkwads who called me "ugly" as a kid or think redheads aren't pretty, piss off.
Out of all the background people at my 2 days, I was the only natural redhead present out of over 100. The only person with even my hair shade. Actually, that includes everyone working in front of the camera on the show. I also brought 2 wheeled suitcases for wardrobe checks & had a very distinct coat (my fake fur leopard print that I wear when it's subzero outside). Random non-background people w/the show even complimented my ensemble as did the wardrobe people. Even the hair person doing my hair complimented its color. The red hair compliments happen a lot but still, I always respond politely since I never get sick of compliments in general.
So, without further adieu, some observations & comments:
1. Actors are a very, VERY whiny bunch: Don't get mad at me for saying this but the behind the scenes people have a very valid point here.
When I first arrived, I heard some vicious things about Central Casting & a woman working with the wardrobe department. One actress near me was talking about how this woman was evil, that she hated her & that this woman had apparently driven some background person to tears.
My experience was that perhaps this woman was a little brusque when we were determining a line up for coats but was polite to me the next day when she checked me in for the wardrobe match-ups. I have no room to say a word about brusqueness since I'm certainly a ball buster when I have to be. People have certainly taken issue w/my tone on things & I admit to being quite blunt.
The same goes for the first Assistant Director named Peter. He had to tell the background people numerous times to be quiet & instruct us ladies in high heels to walk quietly while going up & down the stairs. After we were done with one particular scene, I heard a different background actress have a HUGE conniption fit over the high heel thing. I also heard some very unflattering remarks about this man from other actors on the talking. I even overheard the director, the legendary Andrew McCarthy of '80s film fame, getting annoyed w/the loud chattering.
If Peter or some friend of his happens to read this, he should know that this entertainment attorney/indie film company executive approves wholeheartedly. He was far more polite than I'd likely have been. I'd have started having people released & encouraged the folk managing the extras to call talkers out in front of everyone. Insubordination doesn't fly with me or in the legal arena & if it happened in my company, I'd hear about it in a moment. You have to nip that in the bud.
Plus, I figured out how to master the quiet shoe thing w/out foam on the bottom: you plant your feet very slowly and/or walk on your toes.
Tell me, is following directions difficult? When they say "don't talk", you don't keep talking. You shut the hell up! That's not hard. When someone tells you to do something, you do your damnedest to make it happen.
I was in one section where I was near an entrance to the set. People kept coming in behind this fabric over the door. After it kept up, I asked the person at the door if we could have a signal or something to alert us when someone was coming in so people at this door wouldn't get hurt. The person agreed to knock. When we heard it, we pulled up the fabric so people could get in. After a point, I felt like they should be paying me for PA work since so many people were going in & out.
Perhaps it's because I'm an industry insider but I believe in not making life more difficult for people. I was on set for a day when Cookies & Cream was being filmed. To my mind, my task was to make sure things were going as they should & our biggest name, Ardie Fuqua, was taken care of. He was nice enough to take time from his schedule to work in our film so it's the least we could do.
I heard a LOT of complaint about changed directions & positions from person to person. A tip to note: things can change on a set. The director may want to try something different or your outfit may be causing a glare someplace. God only knows. Be flexible & don't bitch about it.
Scott Powers of the Scott Powers Studio offers a list of Weekly Tips.
While I don't publicly endorse him since I've never attended any of the forums or used his workshops, I will say that these tips are extremely spot on from my experience as an insider. Many of these tips will tell you similar things that I'm saying: I recall one in particular that says not to trash agencies & others because word does travel and you can be blacklisted. I also don't think he'd publicly support someone like the con artist at the sham TV network I dealt with last year.
Hearing these comments in this capacity is even worse than trashing a former employer in a job interview. I was present & saw the conduct of the people you trashed firsthand so you don't even have the advantage of making me wonder whether some former employer indeed violated labor laws, used racial slurs against you, sexually harassed you, etc.
2. Watch how you treat EVERYONE: This doesn't just go to background people. This goes for PAs, crew folk, directors, ANYONE! I don't care how big a name you are or how known you are. You never know who might be a non-union insider like me. Major big-wigs in this business will instantly be nice to an attorney, especially an entertainment attorney. Even a newbie like me has gotten this sort of treatment & others have told me similar stories. We're not even talking about your average background slave type; I'm speaking of executives, industry veterans, people who might be truly nasty to you if you weren't one. People with very impressive jobs in the business have point blank told me they were impressed with my background or admired me for doing all that I have. I've not even reached my apex yet.
Because I did not walk onto this set with a plan to get fawned over just for my job or my credentials, I only told a few people my second day in. One person from the TV network scam came up to me at lunch yesterday & vouched for me. He said I was actually one of the nicest people w/the company & seemed to care since I warned people about the scam. I pointed out my obligations as an attorney & that I warned people I truly felt had a shot in the business based on their behavior toward me. He did agree not to loudly or publicly out me.
As for the bigger name folk with the show or anyone else, the people getting trashed by the background are the people I'd love to deal with. Those people will get things done & be efficient instead of being too soft or letting anyone ride them. I have to admire that in others since I'm the same way.
I didn't see star trips or rudeness toward me or others from the "names" but no one really acknowledged me either even though the show's director did personally direct me & some other extras in one scene since we were right near the show's action. More on that in a bit.
But for now, they at least did graduate from my disdain to my indifference. Meaning I won't hold your work on a show I don't care for against you but I'm also not going to vouch for you among my partners if you or your agent comes in wanting to work with us. To get me to vouch for you, you'd better reach out to me first instead of expecting a meeting b/c you said you worked w/me & pointing to my IMDB page as evidence (if my gig gets listed there). They'll just ask me about it anyway. Plus, doing that before you speak to the person first is bad form (especially in entertainment).
Oh, and if you're SAG? Don't get cocky about getting to eat lunch first. I saw a SAG guy doing this while us non-union folk were waiting in line? Do you think that after you do that to me, I'm letting you get involved w/my company? Ha! You won't even make it to the audition b/c I'll tell my partners & they'll tell the casting people.
That's a character flaw none of us need or want in our lives. That's a turd who'll abuse PAs & belongs in permanent background limbo. Wish I'd gotten his name but I know what he played (wasn't one of the beautiful people). Star trips: contrary to legend, you'd better not try it with producers, executives, the people who can get you an audition or keep you out permanently. It's happened to countless actors, even big names who got too big for their britches (as my mom would say).
3. PETA has done something vicious to big name TV production companies: The content of my coats was a huge issue. The wardrobe people told me point blank that they couldn't use anything w/real fur. They also had to put me in a different spot b/c of my other coat looking like a real fur coat.
Damn you, PETA! While I'm not anti-animal per se, I'm a pragmatist. I have a real rabbit skin coat that belonged to my husband's grandmother along w/a few real fur items. This coat has probably existed long before I was born so what would you have me do now? It keeps you warm, it has function & when you don't have money, it's not the time to get hung up on particular principles. I would not demand a custom real fur to be made for me but if the animal has long been dead, what good does it do to reject that product when someone else will take it?
I also have a hard time taking PETA seriously when many of the members are hypocrites & attempt to promote censorship + shut down various industries instead of provide a reasoned viewpoint. Whether I eat meat or not is not your business. They're just as bad as religious zealots & I have a huge problem w/anyone daring to control my life.
Unless these people want to start PAYING for my monthly expenses, the extra costs of organic items & generally any cost difference resulting from traditional items vs. organic or animal friendly products for everyone who can't afford it, it's time to shut the hell up. Until you put your money where your mouth is, you have no room to criticize anyone for doing the best they can when they are broke. I will fight anyone to the death on that point.
4. We see right through you: Oh, I do! After mentioning that people treat you different when they hear about a background like mine, many actors joined that chorus of "Oh, I don't suck up to people. I act however they treat me." You don't fool me, kid! I look for behavior, I look for actions. Talk is extremely cheap, especially in the business. Let me see how you conduct yourself & get lessons. I made this disclosure to one person who spent a lot of time not following directions & apparently spoke to the actor who knew me from the scam fest. I'll say this: I didn't hear him trashing folks after that.
One actress I spoke to on this was quite pleasant & had I seen her when I left, I would have given her my card but I'm easy to find. After all, I bought my name for my website domain name & the first results on Google are my film company, LinkedIn profile, etc.
5. Being the only person with your look helps: I got moved up close to the action on Tuesday. I suppose I got some choicer spots the day before but every time I tried turning on my laptop to see if I could get Internet or do some corrections to sample legal documents so I'd have viable samples when I need them, it seems like I was needed on the set. Then I was put in one point & was moved up when Heather, the woman placing extras says "The redhead! Come here."
If I make it to the air, you're most definitely going to see me if you look. If someone's looking for a redhead, chances are you'd see me. As I said, I was also placed in areas close to the action w/very few others around me, in fact making it to the camera. I was put in places enough that she started to know me by name.
At one point, Andrew McCarthy himself directed me & the extras around me for one scene where we were reacting to the main action. I did inject some creativity into mine, sort of doing this slight double take but it was entirely on instinct.
6. Abuse? This is nothing: Going back to #1, I was absolutely right that being a background player was far less demeaning than doing document review (despite better pay for document review). In document review, there was extensive draconian behavior & a particular "little Hitler" who was supervising the only assignment I did. Not to mention the inconsistency of policies. At least when background was told to be quiet, ALL the background had to shut up. They didn't let one or two get away with it like what happened in the assignment I was at when that guy was on his cell phone so loud, you could hear his conversation while the reviewers couldn't talk to their seatmates.
At least in being an extra, you get some flexibility for creativity. I attempted some on my own, perhaps instinctively. You get encouraged to do that in entertainment. In a law firm, HA! They may as well hire robots to be associates. I'm honestly shocked that hasn't happened w/the utter discouragement of creativity in that field.
They don't feed you the things you get from being an extra. No "crafty" breaks w/food & no lavish lunches. You're lucky to get pizza on Fridays & the occasional bagel breakfast. Here? Much better stuff. Partly due to union rules but far superior to what you'd get on document review, which requires just as many hours.
7. SAG vs. Non-Union: If you're SAG, you eat first and get paid more but you work longer hours. I like seeing my husband so I didn't mind going home when I did. Plus, I did get more sleep.
8. If I got famous, I'd need this shirt from T-Shirt Hell: The first day I was on set, we were outside part of the time. I saw tons of onlookers w/cameras taking pictures with flashes. It made me laugh when I figured these people were looking for big shots & likely just got PAs and background people in their shots.
Tuesday, when we were leaving the set, I saw more onlookers in the area we had to travel from.
It also pissed me off, though. I felt like a zoo animal or some celebrity dealing with paparazzi. How do you famous faces deal with it? I'd hate all the restrictions on my life and travel.
I have even more sympathy for it after having to experience it myself but God help you if you ever piss me off. If I'm getting this onslaught on you, that means you did something truly nasty like harming one of my family members/business associates/friends. You'd love my non-star struck family, though. Especially my mother, who's still nobody's "yes woman" & probably explains a lot about why I am as I am.
I also understand why people in the business end up with drug and alcohol addictions. I think I did beforehand but after doing this for 2 days & seeing some of it, I definitely get it.
The verdict: Would I do this again? Sure, if I have time, the right outfit & think a particular background role might be up my alley. I'm married so no nudity, kissing, etc. I also don't think I'd be able to play hooker since I'm a bit more demure & evoke too much class to be truly convincing. I'm not too certain what you'd call "my type" since I do look so different & sort of am a minority unto myself; I'm of the "here I am, decide where you want to put me" school.
So thanks, Central Casting & Gossip Girl extras casting folk for proving to me once and for all that I actually am pretty. That self-esteem boost made my century & will give me ammo against anyone trying to underplay or disparage my looks.
I also saw professionalism, contrary to what any whiny factions might have to say. Apparently, some background people consider this set to be miserable but that really wasn't my experience. I was completely shocked when that actor who recognized me said I was "nice" because I can be very nasty when someone's irked me. Hell, I'm "the enforcer" so anyone doing their own enforcing is okay in my book if our end purpose matches up.
So next time you have the experience of background work or have people come in for it, there may very well be an industry insider in your midst who could make you or break you.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
General Musings Part 10
Yes, here we go again. Random headlines & my thoughts on them. First a Dear Prudence letter on something you lawyers can relate to:
Dear Prudence,
I am just a little over a year away from becoming a lawyer, and I'm miserable because I hate it. I wasn't forced into the profession. I just mistakenly believed that since I loved to read and debate, law was the natural progression. But I don't like law, and I'm not applying myself to it wholeheartedly. I can't imagine being in this field for the rest of my life or even a few years. My parents have sacrificed and spent so much on my education, and I have no idea how to tell them that I made a mistake. Worse, my mom thinks this is my dream, and I don't have the heart to tell her that it isn't. The only thing that really brings me joy is escaping into books that have nothing to do with law. Please help me.
—Inadmissible
Dear Inadmissible,
You are not the first young person to find that a profession that looked good from a distance is a miserable fit in reality. You are close to finishing your studies, so you might as well get the degree. Since finding a decent job is eluding many people your age, staying in graduate school a while longer is a pretty good strategy. But getting a law degree doesn't mean you have to spend your life being a lawyer. Sure, your mother may be disappointed, but assure her that when you find a career that suits you better, you know you will benefit from your legal education. That's been the case for a number of people at Slate, from our esteemed founding editor, Michael Kinsley, to my superlative colleagues Dahlia Lithwick and Emily Bazelon—nonpracticing lawyers all. The worlds of business and politics are filled with people with law degrees. At back-to-school night, my daughter's high-school freshman English teacher told us that as a lawyer, she was particularly interested in teaching our children the art of persuasive writing. And since you love escaping into books, you might want to practice law for a few years, then use your experiences to try to create your own literary world, like Scott Turow and John Grisham.
—Prudie
Here's the link & please read the comments.
The comments to this really bothered me as well as this answer. Why? Because these comment givers had no sense of what it's like to be unemployed TODAY & trying to get into a non-traditional legal job TODAY.
The person who made entertainment law sound like such an easy field to get into bothered me enough to create my own profile so I could refute that notion. I never let people think my own career path is mega-easy to get into or that if they do what I did, they'll get the same things. Chances are, it won't happen. To not do that would be irresponsible and bitchy on my part. You also have to be prepared to be broke if you're going to do this; the entertainment field is about passion & regardless of your circumstances, you're paying dues somehow. If it's marching lockstep for a connected or rich parent or having to share a studio in NYC with 4 other people, you're still having to do things you probably hate.
That's not to say you shouldn't aspire to things or can't get into this industry if you really want to w/out sleeping with big wigs or taking drugs but go in with your eyes open, not in a haze of Hollywood glamor. You also fight a battle to be taken seriously in a non-traditional job if you have a JD, as many law school scam bloggers have chronicled based on their experiences. Too much flippancy, coming from an entertainment law lawyer who is living this.
While we're on the subject of the entertainment industry, this just makes me scared for my actors.
I'm certain that at least some of the people we work with could easily become well known & have to deal w/jerky fan behavior. I'd love to know whether the Internet has made it easier for stalkers & cretons to get into the inner circle or if it's not had an effect.
Plus, I'm an extremely protective person. If I like you, no stalker is safe. Messing w/someone I care about is messing w/me. Even my husband is that protective of our actors; he'd beat up stalkers for the people he likes & contribute to the posse if one's needed for someone he feels didn't deserve to be harmed/harassed by the wrongdoer.
Also, if I were this man's wife I'd never tolerate that shit. You'd be gone in a second. Perhaps it's because my mom doesn't give a damn about celebrity or I work in the industry but I don't view anyone through that gauze of celebrity & illusion. You learn firsthand about people being people & if you're behind the scenes, you know how the illusion is created so you can't fall for it. Neither of us have the list of celebrities we'd sleep with; there are none. I also can't hope to work w/anyone if I'd had sexual fantasies about them; my work life & my sex life are discrete + separate categories. You don't muddy those waters.
By the way actors, if you work w/me and I start telling your stalkers that you have a ton of STDs or about creepy stuff that may or may not be true, don't interrupt me. In fact, your managers should back me up & join in. Shattering the illusion may save your life.
Once again, Catholic bishops stay the hell out of politics. In fact, all religions need to stay out of it. Until you have a vagina, shut up about the cost of birth control pills. You know plenty of men won't wear condoms & there are abusive relationships in the world, even in America.
And the statement "Stay the hell out of it!" also goes for abortion issues. When you can get pregnant, then you can talk about it. Until then, shut up or risk angry feminists castrating you, sewing your lips shut, whatever it takes for you to stop foaming at the mouth and trying to set women back to the Stone Age.
Man, I wish stupidity was a capital offense & that we could hang people for it.
Speaking of something patently crappy, here's this.
Even my husband & I who are hard core opposed to illegal immigration support amnesty for people who served this country in the military. If that doesn't prove your commitment to a nation, what on Earth does? Getting a microchip implanted in your body so the government can track you? My father was in the Air Force & a few years back, wanted to go back in but figured he'd be too old at that point.
I don't think being in the military should be a pre-requisite to being a politician but I think military members deserve some respect. I'll bet the pricks who want to deny amnesty for illegals who served in the military never actually served & probably wouldn't either. I've heard enough stories about combat from veterans I know to have respect and appreciation for anyone willing to go through that.
Please, I don't want to see any of my exes. This presumes you actually want to be friends with one. Guess what? Some of us don't.
In fact, my husband has an ex I have to smack if I ever see her since she was abusive to my adorable psycho kitty cat. That bitch also stole my husband's fog machine, which the cat liked playing in the fog for. She should thank her lucky stars I got a fog machine, solutions & cleaner this week during the Halloween discount sales (that's the time to shop; get it at 1/2 off). Otherwise, she'd be paying for the cost from her hide.
The guy at the Spirit Halloween where I bought this machine even said that I should kick this ex's butt for stealing the fog machine & abusing the cat. Okay, she put hair clips on the cat's tail to discipline him!! No animal deserves abuse & I'd like to know how she'd like me sticking clips on her fat butt and restraining her so she couldn't get them off. I'm sure she wouldn't like it. My husband told me she was fat & I'm skinner than most women. Seeing me might be a lot to make this one feel bad but animal abuse doesn't slide w/me.
If I saw most of mine, I'd never talk to them unless it was to say "Fuck you." Not telling an ex off or physically hurting the ex is the best you'll get from me & my husband. Maybe I should just make an assistant do it...that's got to be the ultimate dis.
And, finally this one.
I've got some bad signs of my own:
1. Not getting a paycheck or fighting to get paid for your work.
2. Being asked to break the law or do something shady.
3. Hassle over business reimbursements or not having to present a receipt for business expenses.
4. Your boss hangs out in his darkened office with individuals. That means there's probably dirty stuff going on, or your boss wants it to. If you're the same gender as the victim, this means you won't be taken seriously in your job title.
Since my experiences, I've found that RipOff Report and the court websites are your friend in making sure people are being honest & forthright w/you. If you're not getting paid, get out. Research people very carefully before you deal with them.
Dear Prudence,
I am just a little over a year away from becoming a lawyer, and I'm miserable because I hate it. I wasn't forced into the profession. I just mistakenly believed that since I loved to read and debate, law was the natural progression. But I don't like law, and I'm not applying myself to it wholeheartedly. I can't imagine being in this field for the rest of my life or even a few years. My parents have sacrificed and spent so much on my education, and I have no idea how to tell them that I made a mistake. Worse, my mom thinks this is my dream, and I don't have the heart to tell her that it isn't. The only thing that really brings me joy is escaping into books that have nothing to do with law. Please help me.
—Inadmissible
Dear Inadmissible,
You are not the first young person to find that a profession that looked good from a distance is a miserable fit in reality. You are close to finishing your studies, so you might as well get the degree. Since finding a decent job is eluding many people your age, staying in graduate school a while longer is a pretty good strategy. But getting a law degree doesn't mean you have to spend your life being a lawyer. Sure, your mother may be disappointed, but assure her that when you find a career that suits you better, you know you will benefit from your legal education. That's been the case for a number of people at Slate, from our esteemed founding editor, Michael Kinsley, to my superlative colleagues Dahlia Lithwick and Emily Bazelon—nonpracticing lawyers all. The worlds of business and politics are filled with people with law degrees. At back-to-school night, my daughter's high-school freshman English teacher told us that as a lawyer, she was particularly interested in teaching our children the art of persuasive writing. And since you love escaping into books, you might want to practice law for a few years, then use your experiences to try to create your own literary world, like Scott Turow and John Grisham.
—Prudie
Here's the link & please read the comments.
The comments to this really bothered me as well as this answer. Why? Because these comment givers had no sense of what it's like to be unemployed TODAY & trying to get into a non-traditional legal job TODAY.
The person who made entertainment law sound like such an easy field to get into bothered me enough to create my own profile so I could refute that notion. I never let people think my own career path is mega-easy to get into or that if they do what I did, they'll get the same things. Chances are, it won't happen. To not do that would be irresponsible and bitchy on my part. You also have to be prepared to be broke if you're going to do this; the entertainment field is about passion & regardless of your circumstances, you're paying dues somehow. If it's marching lockstep for a connected or rich parent or having to share a studio in NYC with 4 other people, you're still having to do things you probably hate.
That's not to say you shouldn't aspire to things or can't get into this industry if you really want to w/out sleeping with big wigs or taking drugs but go in with your eyes open, not in a haze of Hollywood glamor. You also fight a battle to be taken seriously in a non-traditional job if you have a JD, as many law school scam bloggers have chronicled based on their experiences. Too much flippancy, coming from an entertainment law lawyer who is living this.
While we're on the subject of the entertainment industry, this just makes me scared for my actors.
I'm certain that at least some of the people we work with could easily become well known & have to deal w/jerky fan behavior. I'd love to know whether the Internet has made it easier for stalkers & cretons to get into the inner circle or if it's not had an effect.
Plus, I'm an extremely protective person. If I like you, no stalker is safe. Messing w/someone I care about is messing w/me. Even my husband is that protective of our actors; he'd beat up stalkers for the people he likes & contribute to the posse if one's needed for someone he feels didn't deserve to be harmed/harassed by the wrongdoer.
Also, if I were this man's wife I'd never tolerate that shit. You'd be gone in a second. Perhaps it's because my mom doesn't give a damn about celebrity or I work in the industry but I don't view anyone through that gauze of celebrity & illusion. You learn firsthand about people being people & if you're behind the scenes, you know how the illusion is created so you can't fall for it. Neither of us have the list of celebrities we'd sleep with; there are none. I also can't hope to work w/anyone if I'd had sexual fantasies about them; my work life & my sex life are discrete + separate categories. You don't muddy those waters.
By the way actors, if you work w/me and I start telling your stalkers that you have a ton of STDs or about creepy stuff that may or may not be true, don't interrupt me. In fact, your managers should back me up & join in. Shattering the illusion may save your life.
Once again, Catholic bishops stay the hell out of politics. In fact, all religions need to stay out of it. Until you have a vagina, shut up about the cost of birth control pills. You know plenty of men won't wear condoms & there are abusive relationships in the world, even in America.
And the statement "Stay the hell out of it!" also goes for abortion issues. When you can get pregnant, then you can talk about it. Until then, shut up or risk angry feminists castrating you, sewing your lips shut, whatever it takes for you to stop foaming at the mouth and trying to set women back to the Stone Age.
Man, I wish stupidity was a capital offense & that we could hang people for it.
Speaking of something patently crappy, here's this.
Even my husband & I who are hard core opposed to illegal immigration support amnesty for people who served this country in the military. If that doesn't prove your commitment to a nation, what on Earth does? Getting a microchip implanted in your body so the government can track you? My father was in the Air Force & a few years back, wanted to go back in but figured he'd be too old at that point.
I don't think being in the military should be a pre-requisite to being a politician but I think military members deserve some respect. I'll bet the pricks who want to deny amnesty for illegals who served in the military never actually served & probably wouldn't either. I've heard enough stories about combat from veterans I know to have respect and appreciation for anyone willing to go through that.
Please, I don't want to see any of my exes. This presumes you actually want to be friends with one. Guess what? Some of us don't.
In fact, my husband has an ex I have to smack if I ever see her since she was abusive to my adorable psycho kitty cat. That bitch also stole my husband's fog machine, which the cat liked playing in the fog for. She should thank her lucky stars I got a fog machine, solutions & cleaner this week during the Halloween discount sales (that's the time to shop; get it at 1/2 off). Otherwise, she'd be paying for the cost from her hide.
The guy at the Spirit Halloween where I bought this machine even said that I should kick this ex's butt for stealing the fog machine & abusing the cat. Okay, she put hair clips on the cat's tail to discipline him!! No animal deserves abuse & I'd like to know how she'd like me sticking clips on her fat butt and restraining her so she couldn't get them off. I'm sure she wouldn't like it. My husband told me she was fat & I'm skinner than most women. Seeing me might be a lot to make this one feel bad but animal abuse doesn't slide w/me.
If I saw most of mine, I'd never talk to them unless it was to say "Fuck you." Not telling an ex off or physically hurting the ex is the best you'll get from me & my husband. Maybe I should just make an assistant do it...that's got to be the ultimate dis.
And, finally this one.
I've got some bad signs of my own:
1. Not getting a paycheck or fighting to get paid for your work.
2. Being asked to break the law or do something shady.
3. Hassle over business reimbursements or not having to present a receipt for business expenses.
4. Your boss hangs out in his darkened office with individuals. That means there's probably dirty stuff going on, or your boss wants it to. If you're the same gender as the victim, this means you won't be taken seriously in your job title.
Since my experiences, I've found that RipOff Report and the court websites are your friend in making sure people are being honest & forthright w/you. If you're not getting paid, get out. Research people very carefully before you deal with them.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Continuing the "How to Sabotage Yourself in the Entertainment Industry" Series
Let's establish one thing about me: I'm not the person to bring in if you want to maintain niceness w/people. I'm not an ass kisser & I'm not a pushover.
But when it's time to be a hard ass or you need someone who will tell someone to "fuck off," I'm the person you call.
One of the things I love about my day job is that I don't have to take crap from people. When you work in retail or a restaurant, you have to be polite & smiley at all times, even when a customer's dead wrong. In a law firm, you have to put up with abuse from support staff, management, judges & even high paying clients. My own husband has to put up w/some impoliteness at work & doesn't get to tell people off. This fact is also a reason I love working w/my film company. In one scenario, I'm management & in the other, any management I have to answer to has a BRAIN!
Guess what? If you're an actor, you have to put up with a lot of BS. Schedules change, essential people have other things to do & you have to sign legal paperwork. You'd better be a team player & someone who can roll w/the punches or you'll fail miserably.
Top things an "Actor" should NEVER do if they want to get anywhere:
1. Show up to an office WITHOUT an appointment. Two former actors w/my day job did this; one of them had the gall to try getting my boss to hand out my PERSONAL phone number yesterday when barging in on my birthday.
2. Demand things you aren't entitled to. Our refund policy is ONLY for those not placed within 90 days of your audition date. If yours was in November, you DON'T get to come in January & demand your money back. Being a pussy who can't handle the fact that acting is HARD & takes PLANNING doesn't entitle you to a refund of the registration fee that says "I'm serious about doing this & will be a team player."
3. Expect sunshine & light, especially from a lawyer. The fucker who barged in yesterday & whom I spoke to today DARED to call me unprofessional b/c of my "tone of voice."
Haven't met the talent agent I interned with, have you? She once told an actress to lose weight & stop doing theater. She was also quite rude to some people & certainly wouldn't take shit from wannabe actors. I've also heard the CEO of my film company go off on people & it's not pretty.
Bluntness, cursing & so forth are standard in this business. If you want people to be "nice" to you, go to Friendly's. Don't expect it from film executives, television producers, talent agents, managers & especially not from entertainment lawyers. I don't give a damn what show you've been on or what unions you're in; give me attitude or do things you KNOW you're not supposed to & you'll live to regret it.
4. Getting pissy when I put you on hold when you decide to yell at me then call back accusing me of hanging up on you. Guess what, fucker? The world DOES NOT revolve around YOU!!!!!!!! We're a business & have OTHER calls to take. We're not YOUR personal party line.
5. Violate confidentiality agreements. Who the FUCK do you think you are???? Obviously you think the legal system is a game or contracts don't apply to you. Wrong, wrong, WRONG! Enjoy being sued or having an injunction placed against you.
6. Threatening to bring in lawyers for us not kowtowing to your pathetic ass. Lawyers charge well over $50 an HOUR on cases & would ask for a good $500 in a retainer. So spend to your heart's content: you'll probably be counter sued for FAR more than would qualify for Small Claims court.
Oh, and would you like to be known as the actor who SUED a television company where the principals have been in the industry longer than YOU'VE been alive?? Go ahead & brand yourself as a difficult, lying, litigious moron. You just saved us the time & energy of having you blackballed.
Same thing for going on TV to complain ala "Help Me, Howard": NO ONE'S going to give you an acting job when you've trashed a company w/industry standing. Instead, you'll be an outcast or everyone's favorite punchline.
I will definitely remember the names of these wannabes & reveal them to people I know in this industry so they don't waste their time, energy or passion on these pathetic, lazy, tactless losers. One of these people claims to have an agent; I think that actor is lying or working w/some mega-newbie since no legit agent would put up w/someone who doesn't show up to meetings, bitches & moans about not being contacted when THEY make zero effort to move things forward + barges into people's offices. I know of GOOD actors who have problems finding an agent.
Oh, and people worthy of a reputable agent's time AREN'T non-union wannabes who piss & moan b/c an entertainment company has other things to do than put up with them. Even the mega famous know better than to expect sunshine & light from producers, execs, agents, etc. I don't think ANY of them would expect a LAWYER working in this industry to patronize them or kiss their feet.
In conclusion, I simply give as good as I get. If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. We start w/civility & go from there. If you claim that you're being polite when you've barged into my workplace & lied about having an appointment, don't expect kindness.
I guess the best rule for aspiring actors is "Don't be an asshole."
But when it's time to be a hard ass or you need someone who will tell someone to "fuck off," I'm the person you call.
One of the things I love about my day job is that I don't have to take crap from people. When you work in retail or a restaurant, you have to be polite & smiley at all times, even when a customer's dead wrong. In a law firm, you have to put up with abuse from support staff, management, judges & even high paying clients. My own husband has to put up w/some impoliteness at work & doesn't get to tell people off. This fact is also a reason I love working w/my film company. In one scenario, I'm management & in the other, any management I have to answer to has a BRAIN!
Guess what? If you're an actor, you have to put up with a lot of BS. Schedules change, essential people have other things to do & you have to sign legal paperwork. You'd better be a team player & someone who can roll w/the punches or you'll fail miserably.
Top things an "Actor" should NEVER do if they want to get anywhere:
1. Show up to an office WITHOUT an appointment. Two former actors w/my day job did this; one of them had the gall to try getting my boss to hand out my PERSONAL phone number yesterday when barging in on my birthday.
2. Demand things you aren't entitled to. Our refund policy is ONLY for those not placed within 90 days of your audition date. If yours was in November, you DON'T get to come in January & demand your money back. Being a pussy who can't handle the fact that acting is HARD & takes PLANNING doesn't entitle you to a refund of the registration fee that says "I'm serious about doing this & will be a team player."
3. Expect sunshine & light, especially from a lawyer. The fucker who barged in yesterday & whom I spoke to today DARED to call me unprofessional b/c of my "tone of voice."
Haven't met the talent agent I interned with, have you? She once told an actress to lose weight & stop doing theater. She was also quite rude to some people & certainly wouldn't take shit from wannabe actors. I've also heard the CEO of my film company go off on people & it's not pretty.
Bluntness, cursing & so forth are standard in this business. If you want people to be "nice" to you, go to Friendly's. Don't expect it from film executives, television producers, talent agents, managers & especially not from entertainment lawyers. I don't give a damn what show you've been on or what unions you're in; give me attitude or do things you KNOW you're not supposed to & you'll live to regret it.
4. Getting pissy when I put you on hold when you decide to yell at me then call back accusing me of hanging up on you. Guess what, fucker? The world DOES NOT revolve around YOU!!!!!!!! We're a business & have OTHER calls to take. We're not YOUR personal party line.
5. Violate confidentiality agreements. Who the FUCK do you think you are???? Obviously you think the legal system is a game or contracts don't apply to you. Wrong, wrong, WRONG! Enjoy being sued or having an injunction placed against you.
6. Threatening to bring in lawyers for us not kowtowing to your pathetic ass. Lawyers charge well over $50 an HOUR on cases & would ask for a good $500 in a retainer. So spend to your heart's content: you'll probably be counter sued for FAR more than would qualify for Small Claims court.
Oh, and would you like to be known as the actor who SUED a television company where the principals have been in the industry longer than YOU'VE been alive?? Go ahead & brand yourself as a difficult, lying, litigious moron. You just saved us the time & energy of having you blackballed.
Same thing for going on TV to complain ala "Help Me, Howard": NO ONE'S going to give you an acting job when you've trashed a company w/industry standing. Instead, you'll be an outcast or everyone's favorite punchline.
I will definitely remember the names of these wannabes & reveal them to people I know in this industry so they don't waste their time, energy or passion on these pathetic, lazy, tactless losers. One of these people claims to have an agent; I think that actor is lying or working w/some mega-newbie since no legit agent would put up w/someone who doesn't show up to meetings, bitches & moans about not being contacted when THEY make zero effort to move things forward + barges into people's offices. I know of GOOD actors who have problems finding an agent.
Oh, and people worthy of a reputable agent's time AREN'T non-union wannabes who piss & moan b/c an entertainment company has other things to do than put up with them. Even the mega famous know better than to expect sunshine & light from producers, execs, agents, etc. I don't think ANY of them would expect a LAWYER working in this industry to patronize them or kiss their feet.
In conclusion, I simply give as good as I get. If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. We start w/civility & go from there. If you claim that you're being polite when you've barged into my workplace & lied about having an appointment, don't expect kindness.
I guess the best rule for aspiring actors is "Don't be an asshole."
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