The Gun Rights/Control Post

Yes, I know you've eagerly awaited this one. Or maybe not. If you've regularly read this blog, you've already got a good idea of where I stand.

However, I've never done a full post on this & have had my Facebook feed overtaken by the anti-gun lobby with what feels like a million posts on how guns are the devil & we should seize all of them from everyone (though criminals won't turn theirs in or give a damn about the laws).

That whole tragedy in Connecticut did hit somewhat close to home. After all, I have a nephew who's elementary school aged & I'd murder anyone who even thought to cause that kid grief (though I think his parents & grandparents would have taken care of such problems long before I'd have to). I also went to law school in Connecticut, meaning I did live there for a few years. Never went to Newtown but I had heard of it.

Guns are one of those issues I side with conservatives on. No, I don't think every lunatic in town should be able to get one on demand. We can do without domestic abusers, serious rageaholics or schizophrenics having them. However, banning guns is NOT going to prevent a repeat of this situation. Let's repeat this for the "total ban" crowd (Lisa Simpson bitch on Facebook included): banning guns is not going to prevent future tragedies.

Oh, and don't you hate that the minute there's a massive shooting the anti-gun lobby crawls out & insists that human beings have no right to protect themselves, no one can go to a shooting range & hunters are the Antichrist? They also insist that the government is saintly, perfect & free of corruption. I want to smack them. In case you didn't notice, I don't take kindly to anyone trying to take my rights away & if you think I'm about to stand by and let you oppress me, you're dead wrong. We'll fight that to the bloody end if need be.

Why are gun bans a stupid idea? Let's break this down:

1. We live in a society with no adequate health care. If you have a mental illness, good luck getting viable coverage to see a quality therapist. Therapy costs money, many insurance plans only let you have a limited number of visits and there are some very shitty therapists out there. What if your insurance requires you to only see a crappy therapist while someone who could help you is out of your price range? What if you're not a student & have no way to get free mental health care?

Then, you're just like many of the homeless people begging for stuff except maybe you're not so poor that you don't have a place to live. If you are, that's where you're heading or already live.

Though I haven't had much direct experience on mental health care myself, I have heard it's a real problem.

2. Corporate America owns the media. Corporate America also outsourced the viable paying jobs & replaced them with crap work that will dehumanize you in a heartbeat.

They have also appointed the biggest butt kissers and experts in human demoralization to be managers and bosses vs. executives who are smart enough to realize that a happy workforce is a productive workforce. Some people are fortunate enough to have good bosses and supervisors (I'm not referring to that group; better yet, if you're a leader in Corporate America who fits this group why don't you reach out & see if you can't alleviate some of my cynicism on this point?) but many don't. You'd better be good enough to be top dog either for yourself or elsewhere or let's safely say you will be fucked sooner or later either in the next round of layoffs, outsourcing, dramatic pay decreases or in more work for less pay. Who benefits from the extra work? If you aren't getting credit for it, you sure aren't!

Work stress & having to deal with assholes who don't know what the hell they are doing or are just pricks in general leads to high stress. It leads to resentful, angry people. Those people take that out on everyone else like their families, friends, total strangers.

When you see stories about shootings & the like, do you think mainstream media is going to cover things about how guns SAVED someone from being a victim? And you always see that the mass murderer is a "goth" or "quiet" or "keeps to himself" (notice it's usually white guys; how many lone black guys have done this & gotten called "goths" afterwards?).

Corporate America also owns many of your "elected" officials. Many of these elected officials seem to think they are kings & queens instead of public servants. What standards of behavior do they have to comply with? Everyone freaks out more if they are cheating on a spouse than if they take a fortune in lobbyist money & make the FCC or the 1st Amendment worthless. Do you honestly think Corporate America wants their serfs to be able to have access to guns? Look at how the government treated minorities & what they couldn't do in the name of keeping THEM down! They couldn't learn to read, use drugs, own property, & the list goes on.

Maybe all the victims of shootings should just go after Corporate America for restitution. Perhaps they could sue Wal-Mart or some other companies out of existence for their role in the whole thing. I'm sure some enterprising & ballsy personal injury lawyer could come up with something.

Oh, and Corporate America decides what programs air on TV. Notice a rise in stupid reality shows & people being rewarded and encouraged to engage in rude, crude and outright distasteful behavior? I'm sure it's all part of the master plan. Not to mention airing all of what a friend of mine called "tragedy porn" over & over again. Way to encourage copycats! They probably think, "Hey, I'm a nobody who can't win friends or any pro-social societal achievements. I'll get famous for being bad!" There's reporting & there's exploitation. Don't waste your time with mainstream media in the US unless you want propaganda & exploitation. Go online or read the news from some foreign country where media isn't completely corrupt.

3. To get back to the rise in reality shows that make people dumber, let's also talk about lack of support networks. How are YOU treating the kids who are bullied or are "different?" Are you joining in the teasing? Did you bother to get to know anyone or did you prejudge them?

It's time a lot of people examined their behavior toward others. Maybe not being a closed-minded prick would improve things, especially in your own life. Take it from someone who was bullied. How about social support networks that actually work in being confidential, dealing with delicate issues and listening to people who are facing hard times so they don't think it's a good idea to start shooting folk who didn't do anything to them (shooting little kids is about as low as it gets save some super bratty demon spawn who murdered your child & bragged about it or something as grizzly)? Oh, but the government always cuts domestic programs first while keeping taxes low on the rich people!

4. You think the government is perfect? NYPD & the Occupy protests. How many documented cases of abuse & corruption have been out there against the NYPD? What about Emperor Bloomberg? Do you really think MORE leaders need to be that emboldened to act like tyrants?

If you do, you are too dumb to have freedom. In fact, you need to just turn over all your personal property, go get a government issued microchip implanted into your body & when the officer tells you to give him a blow job, you do it without question or complaint even if it's a routine traffic stop.

I notice none of these points being addressed by the anti-gun crowd. Instead they shriek "Get rid of guns NOW!!!" I also pointed out to some of these folks that NYC's draconian gun laws didn't do squat to protect anyone at the Empire State building shooting. Plus, Connecticut is NOT Texas when it comes to access to guns.

What effect could/will NYC's gun laws have on me? Someone I know had the nerve to ask why I should be able to have a handgun. I responded that he knew nothing about the required character & fitness exam to become a lawyer in the first place nor the continuing ethics rules lawyers have to obey if they want to keep their licenses.

1. I have the choice to violate attorney ethics rules by getting a gun illegally or being forbidden to have one at all regardless of the particulars of my career or the fact that I'm licensed to practice in 2 states with very oppressive gun laws.

2. I have to wait for some stalker, disgruntled client or other hater to attack & possibly kill me instead of having any kind of precaution to protect myself as I go about my daily life, make a living and get a larger public profile. Remember, threats aren't uncommon if you work in the entertainment industry. The higher up you are, the more likely those threats can become reality.

Even if you aren't high profile, that doesn't mean you can't be harmed. Just ask women who've been the victims of stalking & domestic violence. They weren't all famous.

Why should I or anyone else be denied the right to make a living without having to become a victim? I shouldn't have to wait around for law enforcement to feel like helping me or some MTA employee to feel like calling 911 if I'm attacked & raped in the subway like that one woman was.

Until Bloomberg or some young daughter of his gets raped in the subway & no one helps him/her, he can keep his mouth shut when it comes to the personal safety of young women.

If you are a NYC attorney who doesn't have prior law enforcement or military experience & has a gun license, let me know. I would never need to use one unless it was at a shooting range or some Bernard Goetz situation in my home or elsewhere (without the racial prejudice angle) but I think I have every right not to be harassed or endure unwanted touching. So does everyone else. I do have some self-control & a moral compass. Just because I can see where a person might lash out & the circumstances that can cause it doesn't mean I plan to do it myself. My life is actually going well right now.

As I've said a million times, when people have things to believe in and aspire to they aren't going to be worried about committing mass murder. That's another big problem these anti-gun folks haven't addressed: all the damn dream killing. Telling kids they're stuck going to State U with the same assholes who bothered them in high school & living in the same town forever in the name of not having debt is not helping anyone who isn't part of the Shiny Happy People Club. That prospect will just depress them & make them not care about anything. I hated my hometown & couldn't get out quick enough. Don't you know most of our greatest minds & awesome folk aren't the people who would have won popularity contests in high school? Especially in the entertainment game.

So, here's why gun banning is total shit:

1. Criminals don't follow laws. Tons of crimes have happened in NYC involving guns. How are those anti-gun laws working for you?

2. You invite criminals to attack people. How many mass murderers have taken place in areas that weren't gun free zones or where there was a great likelihood the citizenry would have guns on them to stop the fucker? Only a fucking coward would do a shooting in a gun free zone.

Go plan one in a heavily armed area; society dares you! Or pick better targets like child molesting priests, corrupt officials & others who are a cancer on our society vs. little kids who did nothing to you. You never hear about mass murders against pimps of underage prostitutes or child molesters.

Maybe it's just my belief that if you're going to do something like that, make it a real challenge & do it right instead of being some weak-willed dolt. Any idiot can go attack a bunch of sitting ducks.

3. Government is brimming with corruption already. Do we need to encourage more of it & take away even more checks from it? Look at what happened to some of the people accused of it in the NYPD. I know some of them still have their jobs. Power corrupts & there's no way anyone should be handing over their 2nd amendment rights unless they're also going to be getting that government microchip installed. If you aren't, you can shut up since you just lost the argument.

4. Mental illness doesn't vanish when you take guns away. Nor does the motive to kill. That requires mental health treatment, effective support networks, killing the entitlement culture & some respect for human life. I also think there's too much touchy feely nonsense when it comes to human life. If you are an animal torturer, you don't deserve to live in my book. You don't get human rights when you rape someone, molest children, murder innocent people (now I'm talking if you're guilty vs. being falsely accused of it). Fuck you! As far I'm concerned, animals should be treated as such & if they're not fit to live in society should be taken out back and dealt with so they can't harm others.

Oh, and people WILL use other weapons. Is the "guns kill more people more easily" argument your endorsement of the idea that it's okay if a few people die from an attacker but not many? What about all deaths being bad, not just the ones you pick & choose (since most anti-gun folk are also anti-death penalty)?

5. You will never be 100% safe anywhere!!! That is life. Trying to create a zone of safety is stupid, a waste of time and just oppresses others. You want total safety? Die & go to Heaven. That's the only place where you'll be safe at all times.

Don't live in the illusion that nothing bad can ever happen to you. You could die in your own house. Should we just make everything out of foam because you are a pitiful moron I would never want as my police officer or serving me in the military? Go watch 1,000 Ways to Die since there are far more likely ways you're going to die than by the terrorists or some random pussy who couldn't carry out a mass shooting in an area where there'd be a real question of who would win.

Death is inevitable. We're all going to go someday; it makes no sense to live in fear or refuse to take risks. You'll have an eternity to reflect on it if you don't live a good life now. At least many of the adults in that shooting got to leave this world as heroes and can reflect on that instead of being wussy little babies like these cowards trying to ban everything in a knee jerk reaction without looking at all the elements or asking anyone who's had similar life circumstances what stopped them from doing the same thing or what might have triggered anyone else's actions.

Screenings for ownership? Yes! Training? Absolutely! If more people had training in the use of a gun, there might actually be more respect for them & their power.

I think people who already have professional licenses & ethics rules to deal with shouldn't be subjected to the same strictness as everyone else considering I can do serious damage as a lawyer as well. Doctors can certainly physically maim you if they screw up (surgeons especially). Lawyers can ruin your finances, your credit report and turn you into a homeless person; the really scummy ones could probably do worse. Pharmacists could also maim you by giving you the wrong drugs or a mix that kills you. If the state is trusting us not to do that stuff, we should get firearms as well. Look at the crazy meth heads hospital & pharmacy staffs have to deal with! Shouldn't they get some kind of defense against that?

Limiting certain types of guns? Talk to me about that when you stop the foreign gun trade, you've removed corruption from all branches of law enforcement & you've removed corruption from the government. When everyone's on equal footing, let's talk. Until then, as long as the purchase is registered and you're found liable if something happens while it's in your possession that's fine.

Restitution if your gun harms someone b/c your crazy son stole it? Certainly! I hope the families pursue this. They deserve it. This is part of basic fairness & personal accountability.

Some of my more conservative friends have also called for support on arming school teachers & administrators. I personally think that's a good idea. One friend wrote about this & a responder said she wouldn't trust her son's teacher with a gun due to mental issues.

Here's my take on that & the school stuff in general:

1. The absence of God is not why there are more school shootings. The lack of respect for teachers/adults and fellow students is a more likely culprit. I went to a Christian school for part of my education. God was certainly in the curriculum but that didn't stop me from being bullied or harassed by the boys in my class.

The presence of God didn't make anyone be a good person. Teaching some basic good citizenship/morals would, though. Bringing back corporal punishment might as well (at least for the principals & with a witness along with only letting someone of the same gender do the paddling). A little rational fear never hurt anyone. It's irrational fear you have to watch out for.

2. Speaking of bringing back respect, knowing one's teacher was armed might instill some better behavior in the brattier set. Might also instill some fear in deadbeat parents who think they can leave their child to the wolves when it comes to living in society with others. How many kids who are nasty to their teachers & parents act that way with armed police officers? I'd imagine not nearly as many.

3. If a teacher/aide/administrator can't pass the screening to carry a gun, maybe that person shouldn't be at that school to start with. Do you think it's a good idea to let domestic abusers, schizophrenics, people with borderline personality disorder or others who can't pass that screening be around children & mold young minds? I'd rather see the former porn stars & teachers who were secretly doing adult movies to pay bills in the classroom; if they can pass the screening to get a gun, why not?

A friend of mine said it was bad that we had that fear of teachers but let me tell you about some of the ones I encountered: one substitute was arrested for stealing band instruments. Another one made a very crude sexual remark about a friend of mine. There was the one who had sex with an 18 year old student on school property & got fired. There was also the sexist I had to rail against. No wonder my mother told us you had to earn respect & adults shouldn't get it just by virtue of being older. We were, however, told to respect our teachers unless they were doing stuff they shouldn't like being arbitrary, irrational, racist, or other stuff a good authority figure doesn't do. I also noticed he didn't say we were wrong.

I probably wouldn't have even written this post if I hadn't had the anti-gun lobby in my face when checking Facebook. I don't pay attention to mainstream media & have some critical thinking skills. That's something else gun bans don't do: give anyone critical thinking skills.

Please, for God's sake, get some critical thinking skills if you don't have any already. Otherwise we don't have to wait for Friday for the world to end; we're already doomed since the tyranny of stupid will kill us.

What the Holy Fuck?!?!? Craig's List Ads, Part 5

I was going to do a rant on how I feel like a second class citizen and excluded from bar associations I'm supposed to be paying all these ungodly dues toward but it seems I already covered that 2 years ago. Go here to see it. Still accurate & still holds up.

I also do still feel like a second class citizen with all that so just assume I'm not going to spend $25+ on a ticket to an event my husband wouldn't be welcomed at and where I wouldn't have the best company to deal with (since I'd likely know very few of the attendees if any & would be shocked if any bothered being genuinely nice to me or interested in anything I did or cared about).

I think there should either be an option for far cheaper tickets for young attorneys (let's say $20 each or $30 for couples if your spouse is also young, works for the government on any level & is making less than $75K a year or is unemployed) or a severe reduction in the dues we're paying if we can't even go to these annual parties & bashes. If we're such "riffraff" to the higher ups in the way these ticket prices are set, then why should we have to finance those affairs?

I'm also in a very bad mood since an event I was planning apparently can never happen at the time I want since the association closes an hour before my event would need to start on that day. Nice of anyone to TELL me this!!! I had to call & find out myself.

I also found out that if you want a large event & it's not a CLE, you will get zero time to publicize it & could very well have your event sabotaged. Sorry but my circle lives in a different sphere, has busy schedules and needs some notice. I'm trying to respect their time & make things convenient for them. After all, THEY are the ones doing favors here! They have their own cred & reputation. Having them is a privilege. Having me bring folk in is a privilege.

My husband reminded me that I'm not getting paid to do this so I'm not beholden to anyone. I don't have to play political games or put up with BS.

On that note, here are some more disgusting and appalling Craig's List ads where the writers should have been shot, arrested, fined, something. Here goes:

Paid Writing Internship (Stamford)

Date: 2012-09-21, 7:53PM EDT
43mbc-3238878018@gigs.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Great PAID internship opportunity for a Rockstar Writer in Waiting!
Are you a recent graduate who is waiting for the opportunity to hone his / her writing skills and be the next success story that every one in the publishing industry talks about? Professional writers with experience make great living working on advertisements, web content, direct mail pieces and much more! They enjoy unparalleled job satisfaction and career growth.

If you are the future rockstar writer, we are looking for you! This is a FULL TIME, PAID internship opportunity for someone who is up and coming in the industry. Initial position is for 3 months - successful internship will most likely result in a long term assignment. You will be required to work from the Stamford office at-least once a week.

Key requirements:
* Keen observation and analytical ability
* Creative brainstorming and idea generation
* Ability to listen and "pay attention"
* Research
* Ability to work full-time (30+ hours)

This is a PAID internship, NOT a JOB. This position will allow a student or recent graduate to continue to hone his / her skills while looking for their dream job.

In order for the most productive use of your time and our time, please read this ad again and understand what we are looking for. We are not looking for a run-of-the-mill, industry washout - we are looking for someone who wishes to be successful in the long term and is willing to do everything that it takes to achieve it!

Location: Stamford
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: Stipend

PostingID: 3238878018

Here was my response:

Full time internships are illegal under the state & federal labor laws. Not to mention this statement is a total lie:

"This is a PAID internship, NOT a JOB. This position will allow a student or recent graduate to continue to hone his / her skills while looking for their dream job."

You list this after listing, among your "Key requirements" that the person has the "* Ability to work full-time (30+ hours)"

Have YOU ever worked a full time job? Have YOU tried to job hunt in that time? When would your little "intern" be able to go on a job interview? Most offices do not do interviews on weekends. They also typically insist on an IN PERSON interview; how is your "intern" going to arrange that? Are you planning to give this person time off b/c this sure doesn't sound like a position where you're offering ANY schedule flexibility. Oh, and this intern will be at a total disadvantage to apply for anything while doing YOUR work & NOT getting to apply for jobs until God knows how many other people already send in THEIR resumes.

I'm also willing to bet the "stipend" you offer will be something that won't be a per hour or week wage but something the person gets at the end of the term since you seem that scummy. I'd also bet that you'd make up some arbitrary BS to deny the person the "stipend" since they didn't lick your boots well enough. Nor do I see a word about travel reimbursement for the person going to your offices.

Get your head out of your ass & join us in REAL LIFE. There is a law firm that handles shitheads like you who are trying to bring back indentured servitude. Stop being a cheap bastard & pay a professional worker instead of pretending that a FULL TIME intern is going to have ANY moment to find a REAL job that will have REAL prospects since you apparently offer none regardless of how well this person performs. Do you treat the rest of your staff that way?

Did you also notice that BS? If you did, congratulations. You have a brain. They seem to be in short supply these days. Plus, if you're going to pay someone & make them work full time you need to be a grown up and offer a damn job with a proper title. It's insulting to call someone an "intern" in this situation.

Elite Midtown Legal & Corporate Consulting Company Seeks Part Time Of (Midtown East)

Date: 2012-09-24, 10:43AM EDT
erkconsulting11@gmail.com [Errors when replying to ads?]

Elite Midtown Legal & Corporate Consulting Company Seeks
Part Time Office Assistant /Bookeeper Needed


Prominent, high-end, and successful Executive Career Coaching & Corporate Consulting services firm located in midtown, is a PART TIME Office Assistant with Bookeeping experience to help the growing team. The Office Assistant will be responsible for helping the founder organize and further expands its already extensive AmLaw 100 client base. The successful candidate must be very organized, personable, computer and internet savvy; preferably a former lawyer; paralegal, legal secretary or former legal recruiter.
We are seeking high motivated individual with excellent verbal and written communication and interpersonal skills.
Must be a fast learner and pay attention to details.
Strong multitasking and organizational skills.
Strong computer skills must be familiar with Word and Excel and QuickBooks.

This job is a part time position requiring about 15-20 hours per week. Requirements are as follows:
1) Excellent computer skills. There will be typing and constant emailing
2) Excellent phone skills. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT, YOU MUST BE ABLE TO CALL ANYONE, THERE WILL BE COLD CALLING BUT THIS IS NOT A TELEMARKETING JOB. IF YOU ARE SHY OR RUDE ON THE PHONE DO NOT APPLY.
3) Flexible hours. More than likely it will be 3 days x 5 hours or 4 days x 4 hours. No weekends.
MUST HAVE EXPERIENCE IN ALL OF THE FOLLOWING AREAS:
- PUBLIC RELATIONS
- OFFICE & ADMINSTRATION
- BUSINESS SOCIAL MEDIA (WHICH IS DIFFERENT THAN PERSONAL!!)
- PHOTOSHOP (a plus)
- SEO (a plus)



- Part Time - approximately 3 days to start (about 18 hours - prefer 6 per day but no Fridays unless we have a special project), leading to full time in the future


Other Qualifications:
• Proficient Quickbooks, Microsoft Office, Outlook,
• Exceptional verbal and written communication skills
• Excellent interpersonal skills and customer service skills
• Ability to prioritize, work independently, self direct and complete tasks in a fast paced environment
• Accuracy and strong attention to detail

Responsibilities include:

• Organize database, client contact information, client files, and cultivate and maintain relationships with clients, vendors and suppliers by phone, email and letters
• Accounts receivable: prepare/send invoices to customers, prepare/send monthly statements, contact customers with past-due invoices to make payment arrangements
• Accounts payable: enter bills, obtain approval for payment, ensure timely payment, match invoices with payment
• Create and maintain client files
Create and maintain Outlook database of clients
• Perform clerical duties, maintain paper and electronic files, open/sort mail, archive records at year-end

Applicant should have knowledge and experience in legal industry. Please send cover letter and resume with salary history/requirements and references.

Compensation: $8-$10/hour based on experience. Annual Bonus.

Compensation: $8-$10/hour Plus Annual Bonus
Telecommuting is ok.
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 3292818624

My problem here is the salary they offer. I made $8 an hour working at Godiva in Atlanta. When I interviewed for that job, my boss said my prior experience at JcPenney wasn't relevant to him. Yet I got hired anyway & did well while he was manager. I made $10 at other jobs in undergrad.

And no "former lawyer" I know of is so hard up that they're going to do all this stuff for a mere $8-10 an hour. You would have to do less in a retail job or even at the local fast food joint. Someone with prior experience at this stuff is not worth this piddling rate, which translates at below $25K a year in income. At part time hours, you're probably talking about qualifying for welfare benefits.

Go do some extra work for Central Casting instead. At least then you can maintain some dignity & wear clothes you wouldn't get to wear otherwise.

Now, more stupidity. Feast your eyes on this:

Production Company Intern (Midtown)

Date: 2012-09-24, 12:23PM EDT
vmgsf-3279592569@gigs.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


We are a small to midsize office in NYC and have multiple high profile projects. We need someone to help us keep the office organized. Most days you would answer phones, run errands, get coffee, lunch, possibly some research. Need someone to make sure there's paper in the printer, the trash has been taken out and make sure the kitchen is in order. Be able to be aware if something needs to get done. Some days there's plenty to do and other days in might be quiet, but if you have an interest in working in a production office, this is a good way to meet people and get in the door. This can be short or long term, depending on your interests and if you have time. I would like someone at least three days a week or more. It can be half days too. Please email what days and times you can be here, a resume if you have one and a little bit about you. Our hours are 930am to 6pm. This is an unpaid internship, but there could be opportunities for the right candidate in the future.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 3279592569

My response:

So, you have "multiple high profile projects" & an office to maintain but you can't bother to even pay transportation reimbursement to an intern i.e. forcing someone to PAY to work for YOU?!?!?!? Oh, and this sounds like a completely illegal internship considering interns are supposed to be getting a LEARNING OPPORTUNITY!!!

Getting your damn lunch & doing office tasks (as your description states) does NOT make for a legal internship. This sounds like an attempt to cheat professionals out of a job by making someone else be a slave.

Do you not keep up with the news? There have been major crackdowns as of late on illegal internships by the state & federal labor departments, a major Hollywood studio is being sued for their illegal internships & there is a law firm that specifically deals with suing assholes like you who think they can violate labor laws b/c it's the entertainment industry.

Get your head out of your ass, get some class & get a clue! Oh, and you might want to retain a lawyer since you're probably going to need one very soon.

Signed, A Production Company Owner Who Has Some Business Ethics & a Law License

Yeah considering I have dealt with mass internship hiring at my company, I've got every right to say that when I see your company engaging in unethical behavior since that makes things harder for MY company & every other business owner I know who doesn't have an entitlement complex or thinks total strangers should be eating the poop as it comes out of their buttholes. The tone of some of these ads shrieks "unprofessional," "tacky," "unappreciative," and worse "scummy" to me.

Here's more:

Commercial Litigation Firm - Internship (Flushing, Queens)

Date: 2012-10-19, 3:09PM EDT
9gbs5-3350542336@job.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


[NOTICE: If you send a cover letter with spelling and/or grammar errors, or with references to a generic position that is not relevant to this post, it is highly likely that all interest will be lost before your cover letter is read in its entirety and your email will be deleted. Attention to detail and professionalism are highly important in this line of work and at our office]

Our Firm:

Our firm handles a vast array of cases from commercial litigation and contract disputes to foreclosure defense litigation. We are dedicated to providing our clients with highly effective legal representation so any employee or intern must be willing to do the same.
Most of the cases we handle are rather large and complex, so although we run a friendly and laid back office environment, things need to be taken seriously.

Responsibilities/Experience/Qualifications:

The intern will have the opportunity to
(1) learn the art of conducting client consultations;
(2) learn how to determine whether a case is worth taking on;
(3) learn the elements of an ironclad contract and how to draft one;
(4) learn the ins-and-out of motion practice, effective research, argument development, and motion drafting;
(5) attend court hearings and appearances on cases, and "second chair" at any deposition or trial.

The Ideal Intern:

- A 2L/3L or recent graduate studying for the Bar or awaiting results.
- A keen eye for detail, highly motivated, always looking to go that extra step, able to think differently, and of course professional.
- Someone who is not just seeking another job, but is looking for a platform that to provide an upward trajectory towards a bright career.
- Zealously interested in applying fundamentals from law school to the real world commercial disputes and litigation that arises.
- Has a reliable mode of transportation or capable of using public transportation efficiently.

Note:
- This is an excellent opportunity for any 2L/3L law student, law graduate waiting bar results, or pending bar admission to get hands on real life application and experience, and for the right candidate, if taken seriously, this internship can lead to a bright future with the firm.
- Our office is located in the heart of flushing, close to the 7 train, the LIRR-Flushing station, and bus-stops.
- The internship days and hours are flexible, but we are generally looking for a solid 20 or more hours a week.


Please email cover letters and resume to be considered for this position.

Location: Flushing, Queens
This is a part-time job.
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 3350542336

Do you see one word here about travel reimbursement? I don't. That's a red flag.

Plus, if you are going to be that picky and obstinate about details in your ad you need to be paying a salary. I would not want to pay for an internship at a law firm & you shouldn't either. Any business in any field that expects you to foot the bill for your own travel or to do anything for their benefit while not offering a salary is not worth dealing with. It could very well be a scam operation like the one I experienced years back.

Oh, and how can I forget this piece of work?

Makeup & Hair Assistant/Social Media/Graphic Artist (Brooklyn)

Date: 2012-10-25, 12:51PM EDT
mrhqh-3364150718@gigs.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


I am a Makeup Artist and Hair Stylist based in New York and I am seeking the BEST, DOWN TO EARTH, NORMAL, DRAMA FREE, RELIABLE AND EAGER makeup/hair assistant in the world for my bookings (editorials, ads, private clients, commercials, televison, film, tests, etc).

Must also have skills and experience in PR, Social Media, Blogging and Graphic Design to help me build my business, branding and keeping my site up to date. The candidate will be working with me on jobs in New York and from home. Possibility of filling in for me when I'm booked or unavailable.

Responsibilities:
- Assist me on bookings (skin prep, makeup application, set up and break down station, cleaning brushes, passing me tools, touch ups on set, taking pictures and video of my work)
- MUST KNOW THE RULES...NO networking, intoxication, drugs, stealing, whining, begging, talking too much
- Creating social media strategies and help manage social media outlets
- Posting relevant content to Facebook - Twitter - Blog
- Seeking out media outlets and blogs to improve web presence
- Looking for someone with social media & print contacts
- Image preparation and uploads to my website using basic Photoshop (no retouching)

Requirements:
- Minimum 1 year makeup artist and/or hair stylist or strong desire to start in the business
- Basic knowledge of Photoshop
- Passion and knowledge on all things beauty (cosmetics, makeup, fashion, skincare and hair)
- Strong, creative writing skills...traditional and writing for social media - wicked smart, witty, engaging
- Knowledgable with Facebook Fan Pages, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Blog and any other social media platforms

Please send your Cover letter, Resumé and photo of yourself
Students welcome
Flexible hours

Location: Brooklyn
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: Depends on experience $10-15/hr and/or up to $300/job

PostingID: 3364150718

You know I had to respond to this garbage:

You sound like a fucking peach. Why don't you just buy a robot & save yourself the strain of human interaction?

Come on, "- MUST KNOW THE RULES...NO networking, intoxication, drugs, stealing, whining, begging, talking too much." I can agree with not stealing or taking drugs & drinking but a lot of this crap is totally subjective. Why don't you just put "be a corporate drone who licks my shoe bottoms after I step in dog mess?" That totally sounds to me like you insist someone has no personality at all, which is the antithesis of BEING in the creative industry in the first place. One person's whining is another person's refusing to be a slave.

Not to mention asking for a picture of someone. What the hell? Are you also demanding the assistant to be your fuck puppet? That's just asking to get sued for illegal hiring practices or sexual harassment. It sure makes you sound like a perv to me. What relevance do one's looks have to this job? I don't see anything here about this assistant doing modeling or acting work.

You need to rephrase what you claim to be looking for because, let's face it you're NOT seeking "the BEST, DOWN TO EARTH, NORMAL, DRAMA FREE, RELIABLE AND EAGER makeup/hair assistant in the world for my bookings." You want a slave. If you can't at least sound like you respect people in your ad, how do you expect anyone worth a damn to consider applying? I'm not even in that field but I read it & think "Run for the hills!" Not to mention that you will likely get sued sooner or later for demanding applicants to send you a picture of themselves as a condition to getting an interview. That shouts to me that you're a bigot or trying to exploit someone.

Think about how this person treats others. I'd never want this individual working for my company or doing my projects. Probably an ass to everyone, including the director.

Another illegal ad from a sexist pervert:

Personal assistant-Office help... (harlem...)

Date: 2012-11-08, 1:21PM EST
gqxwx-3328991502@gigs.craigslist.org[Errors when replying to ads?]


This is a Part Time Position - FEMALE

Responsibilities:
Perform clerical work as needed...
Manage all incoming/outgoing mail.
Perform administrative duties and provide management support.
Other duties as assigned.

Have own laptop.
Excellent internet skills with knowledge of social media outlets.
Have worked in small business environment.
Professional and extremely organized work ethic.

Please forward Resume and PIC to be considered...

Compensation: up to $12hr/DOE

Location: harlem...
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: up to $12hr/DOE

PostingID: 3328991502

Why don't these people leave this crap in the personals or go hire hookers? If attorneys could locate people who'd been abused by these creeps and had business names, they could make a fortune suing these pricks. Plus, you could enjoy the righteous indignation & make friends with legitimate business owners as well as conservatives.

Another illegal ad:

Personal Assistant to Producer - $600wk - 12 hours a day -7 days a wk (Chelsea)

Date: 2012-12-02, 7:46PM EST
m5qjp-3450934568@job.craigslist.org[?]

Need Personal Assistant for the next 2 months - 7 days a week.

It would be great if you
- are inexhaustible,
- know administrative programs and such on a mac,
- have a mac,
- drive,
- know your way around photoshop
- have video / animation / 2D & 3D graphics production knowledge in general
- etc..

Looking for someone eminently trustworthy, reliable and capable.
Need someone right now but looking for the right person to join a team going forward.

Reply with clear info about your abilities and a phone number.

Compensation: $600 per week. 12 hours a day. 7 days a week starting now.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID:3450934568

Sounds good until you do the math. Here's my response:

Your rate is illegal. Follow me on this little math calculation:

12 hrs a day x 7 days a week = 84 hours a week

600 (what you propose to pay a week) / 84 = 7.1428.....

In THIS state, minimum wage is $7.25 an hour. Your rate is $7.14 an hour, which is clearly BELOW the minimum wage in NY. If you are lying about location, minimum wage is $7.25 an hour in NJ and higher than that in CT.

A little free advice: if you want a GOOD person who's going to give a damn & do the kind of work you want, you might want to pay a little better than minimum wage. Personal assistants performing the tasks at the hours you are asking for (at the expense of their own lives) make a good $70K+ a year.

Try at least $25 an hour if you want someone to give up their entire life for the next 2 months & during the holidays to boot. Come to think of it, considering you're asking folk to give up Christmas maybe you should offer around $40-50 an hour.

That is market rate, folks! You violate paying someone the market rate at your own peril. Don't come crying to me or anyone else about how your assistant or your intern stinks when you aren't even offering a living wage.

One place where I'm apparently smarter than anyone there:


writer/bloger/admin /assistant (Midtown West)

Date: 2012-12-12, 8:41PM EST
t3nz4-3474650186@gigs.craigslist.org[?]

internet based company in new york is looking for a /Writer/assistant to help us with some blogging and handling our social media accounts.,one to help us with answering calls, responding to emails and internet research. ,

Monday through friday ,Internet and teck savvy a must !Starting salary Is at

$ 15.00 hour ,to start 5 days a week and hours can be discussed . to apply for this position please , send us your resume with references , For a fast response back and interview set up .

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: $15.00 an hour

PostingID:3474650186

This also warranted a response:

I do not send personal materials to a company that can't even proofread their own ads & be bothered to identify themselves. Clearly, I'm far overqualified for this even as a low stress day job where I have zero attachment or true interest. It also looks like I'm smarter than your top brass based on this ad.

You might get more legit responses if you bothered to write an ad with proper English and using basic grammar rules that the average 3rd grader knows how to execute.

Applicants judge companies as well. Smart ones look for typos, entitlement attitudes, crazy demands, etc. and don't waste time with them. Not every employer is worth impressing, you know?

Finally, another illegal internship & this time with someone who publicly admits to attempting to violate labor laws:

Documentary film internship

Date: 2012-12-11, 12:19PM EST
kitama.cahill.jackson@gmail.com[?]


Like social justice issues?

Like documentary film?

Maybe this internship is the one for you.

We are Black Wasp Productions, a small documentary production company -- two full-time producers, a part-time producer and an assistant editor.

Our film is about race, class, gender and the American dream -- we will tell you more about it when we call you for an interview.

We have shot a lot of footage, have begun editing and are now trying to finish the film by early February.

No technical experience necessary -- although, if you know FCP, that's a plus!

You just need to be smart, quick, driven, punctual, energetic, responsible and have a desire to learn the ins and outs of documentary film production.

Unfortunately, It's unpaid.

We could use a few fulltime or part-time interns to help with the following:

1. Transcribe interviews
2. Research
3. Assistant Editing
4. Assistance on shoots
5. Scanning photos
6. Running errands
7. Watching rough cuts with the producers and giving feedback


You can call Kitama Jackson, the producer/director at (718) 928-4873 to discuss this position further. Or you can email him at: Kitama.cahill.jackson@gmail.com

You can see Kitama's website: www.kitamajackson.com

We plan on filling this internship really soon.

We look forward to hearing from you!


Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID:3471089424

Guess who I'm making sure my company doesn't work with? No company needs the tainted association of or friendship with a business owner that doesn't bother knowing the basics of labor law or has any respect for interns, one of the most vulnerable groups in this industry.

I had to say something:

You DO know that full time internships are illegal under state & federal labor law, right? As in, you can't make someone work 40+ hours a week for free. That is NOT an internship; it is slavery & displacing professionals who have a value in the marketplace.

Not to mention that some of the tasks you list would require an intern to travel. Do you expect an INTERN to PAY to work for you? Without covering travel done for YOUR benefit, that's in effect what you're doing. I see nothing listed here about paying for interns' travel costs to the office or to run these errands you want them to run.

The terms you list are the perfect way to create resentment & ill will among interns. In fact, there's a law firm right now that is seeking out people who had illegal internships & going after employers in the entertainment industry. Wake up & look around you: tons of employers in plenty of industries are jumping on the illegal internship bandwagon & college students/newbies have had enough. Employers are being fined for having illegal internships as well.

You need to be employing some legal counsel at once since with ads like these & these sorts of working conditions, you're going to find yourself in an unpleasant & expensive lawsuit as well as with a very bad industry reputation.

Lastly, remember the old adage "you get what you pay for." Quality costs money & no one deserves to be exploited.

I as a business owner totally evaluate you & your business based on how you treat your front line people. If you're abusive to the sales associates, receptionists, interns, servers, anyone who's got a "low level" position, I'm not interested in dealing with you. Treating those people like crap says you will totally treat me like crap sooner or later or worse, you're just a brown nosing scumbag (and if you've read this blog, you know how I feel about those).

I also evaluate a business based on their job ads, including grammar concerns and expectations vs. the offered compensation. When those are out of whack, you create a negative impression that leaves a very nasty taste in my mouth. I'm going to do my best not to help you or do anything that might remotely benefit you if you are some chucklehead who can't even master simple concepts like treating others as you'd want to be treated.

The Case Against Christmas Cards & Giving Gifts

So, now we're in the holiday season. Apparently, I've not written about this issue but I feel like I should. This article also prompts a response.

First off, we resolve every single year not to have to mail out Christmas cards. My family & I are not about the Christmas cards. We rarely got any from anyone via mail & we were more apt to do exchanges with co-workers, classmates, people we saw all the time. No one in my family would foam at the mouth or freak out if you didn't send them a Christmas card.

Think about snail mail Christmas cards for a moment: you pay a huge amount in postage per card (44 cents a piece at last count, though the rate easily could have gone up since I had to mail things), the cards are usually generic in scope & many people who get them don't bother to save them. Once they take out the cash or gift card, they usually just throw it in the trash either right away or shortly after Christmas.

Now I ask you, what is the point of that? If you have some elderly grandparent who doesn't know diddly about the Internet that's one thing but there are plenty of grandparents who have computers & Facebook accounts of their own so that "old age" argument is wearing thin. If you're not completely infirm in some way (like no movement in your extremities, having your own room at the hospital or needing 24/7 assisted living care) or living very close to the poverty line, I do think you should be making some effort to get with modern times and at least know how to write and receive e-mail. I'm sure even many people with terminal illnesses know these basics.

This should be mandatory in the workplace; no one should have to cater to your Luddite ways when you're hampering business operations by refusing to adapt (yes, you are). Customers will respond by not patronizing your business & going to your competitors. Younger workers a.k.a. the future of society will go work someplace where the boss actually bothers with modern technology. Basic, modern technology is a boon to ALL of us & does make life easier. Stop using your past glory to be a technology snob! We are not impressed & we don't care what you did when we were still in diapers. Try doing great things NOW in 2012!

You also can't claim to be an environmentalist or "green" in any way if you are mailing out Christmas cards. If you're doing that, you're just a hypocrite & can keep your mouth shut about people not recycling as well as about mothers using disposable diapers on their babies.

I think the Christmas card had its time when postage was cheaper but today, it doesn't make sense to me. I figure once more of the Jurassic Luddites die out, we'll be strictly on the e-mail Christmas cards or just giving cards to people without putting yet more money in the US Post Office's pocket (and you know how fond I am of them).

Plus, when we get them it becomes a whole obligation of "Now, we have to send YOU one." That's irritating & personally I don't care but my husband feels differently.

Maybe this is one of those familial differences: I didn't have any super old relatives to send things to me. We didn't have money to spare on frivolities like Christmas cards & Thank You notes. We believe in talking to people and personally being nice to them or thanking them for a gift. That is sufficient for me & for any rational person. Yeah, yeah, etiquette rules & "Aren't you the etiquette queen?" you may ask? Here's the answer: you've met your etiquette duties when you said "Thank you," once or "Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Happy Hanukkah/Happy Kwanzaa/Happy Whatever!" once.

Sending me a card is saying it to me twice & I'm not some unfeeling bitch who expects you to spend $50 sending Christmas cards when you might be this close to losing electricity or being kicked out of your home. You don't know how big someone's family/friends circle might be & even $20 could be an imposition.

I'd rather you saved your money & had food to feed your kids instead of fulfilling some outdated, antiquated notion of "etiquette" that has no place in 2012. I grew up living on that razor's edge so I don't get all butt hurt if someone didn't send me a paper card. How do you know that person isn't in serious financial straits or has the same attitude I have about such things? Do YOU save all the Thank You notes you get & have a collection of all the ones you've ever gotten from anyone? If you trash them, you've got no right to be angry if someone thanked you in person or on the telephone instead of sending you a paper card. My philosophy on Thank You notes is the same as it is with Christmas cards. Informality, you say? Well, good thing you've got money to throw away; some of us have to live on a budget & don't have it to burn like you do.

Seriously, SAVE YOUR MONEY! Send me an e-card instead. Better yet, send me a personalized e-mail if you want to thank me or wish me a happy holiday.

We're sending cards to a couple people as a kind gesture since they don't have funds for things. I'm not expecting return cards from them since they are living near the poverty line. That's my own choice to be nice.

I guess I also despise such traditions since no one is honest about why they're doing things. You know that secretly, everyone wants a card and/or gift if they give you one & some of these people are materialistic jerks who could use a viewing of What Would Jesus Buy? or some time at a homeless shelter to see real hardship. They could use a lesson in appreciation & stop viewing gifts as an entitlement.

Now, on the topic of gift giving: as I get older, it becomes much harder to write a Christmas list. When I was younger, I was like every other kid having a list long enough to paper the county 3 times over. Okay, not literally but I could definitely come up with things.

As you get older, you recognize the difference between needs and wants. My wants have also decreased dramatically & changed. These days, most of my wants are based on money being no object like buying me good stock or office space or paying off my student loan debt. Since no one I know can do that (nor would I ask someone to pay off my student loan debt), I'm left with very little I can think of for lists. It's like "What can you get me that I couldn't get myself?"

I also still have a lot of clothing & personal preferences that some of my list seekers aren't as supportive of or in tune with. I can trust my immediate family to buy me things fitting my taste & style and my in-laws will buy things I wouldn't have necessarily thought of for myself but then look good in when I try them on. However, I wouldn't trust people outside these groups to clothes shop for me without a link to the exact item I wanted.

I'm also upgrading things so getting that stuff costs more. Jewelry, I'm looking at you.

We also have limited space in our home, don't go to most chain restaurants we can get to around here & I have subscriptions to Groupon and Living Social that I check regularly for deals. Some of my list seekers refuse to use the Internet or live very far away from me & wouldn't call a NYC venue to see about a gift certificate or card for us to use.

Therefore, if I don't know what I want & you have crazy parameters, how are you going to know what I want or spend your money wisely on a gift for me? Maybe I need more gift giving friends in the financial realm who know about buying stock. I could keep stock certificates in my home more easily.

I have to now respond to that Backstage article. Maybe the Secret Agent Man & his associates like actors to give them gifts but I wouldn't want someone in a business relationship with me (as opposed to having established an independent friendship with me) giving me gifts. Actors doing it feels to me like they're trying to suck up to me or buy my affection.

If I were a manager, I wouldn't want a client doing that & lawyers aren't supposed to be using their legal representation to get presents or freebies from clients. The ethics rules are especially wary of clients giving large gifts to their lawyers.

You being a shitty actor or legal client isn't going to change with you giving me a good gift. Your gift will not change my opinion of you in that respect. I might think you're a nice person & that you were thoughtful but if you suck, you suck. That's just all there is to it. Maybe I'd feel more inclined to help you not suck but it feels like encouraging actors to give gifts just encourages the mediocre & lousy to use it as a means to get undeserved opportunities. I am not a present whore & don't want people thinking a shiny gift makes up for their shortcomings, personality problems, whatever the issue is. I'd rather have pleasant people in my life who aren't causing me stress, grief & hassle instead of problem causers who think giving me a nice Christmas gift makes up for their bullshit the rest of the year.

Who's with me on this? Are YOU a present whore?

Goodbye, Church Lady Stuff & "Non-Sexist" Gifts

When I was trying to put insoles in my heeled boots for my show performance (discovered I already had some in there but used them in a different pair of heels), I decided to do something my husband had been bugging me to do for ages: clean out my shoes & closet!

Now, with all my talk of clothes you probably think I own 100 pairs of shoes at least. Nope, not even close. I own less than 30. Most of those shoes weren't even bought or selected by me, in fact. I also have a decent amount of clothing that wasn't bought or selected by me. This is despite being the oldest in my family: my mother managed to get hand me downs from other people's older kids. My mother's resourcefulness is legendary, to say the least. She probably inadvertently taught me how to persuade others & definitely taught us how to stand on our own two feet.

As an actress/creative type, I've been big on having diversity in my clothing. I don't fit one style or one type & have different moods. You can't just stick me in one box or say "Oh, she'd never wear THAT!" I've done many things in life & you never know when that evening gown or cheerleader outfit will come in handy. I've bought dresses I just liked the look of & then wore them to events later on, leading to raves over it. My eye for dressing myself is something I take pride in & it doesn't seem to have dulled at this point.

Another thing about my clothing: I bought a lot of it in the late 90s since I didn't have to pay for car insurance & couldn't get other things. At that time, there were apparently more retailers selling "Made in the USA," including JcPenney (where I worked in high school & got a 40% discount on anything I could wear to work). Style differences aside, a lot of my things aren't replaceable.

I have one definitive church lady dress that I wouldn't getting rid of since it epitomizes the frumpiness of that style & you never know when you might need such an outfit. What if I had to play a fundie or pretend to be one?

However, I noticed that I had other dresses I didn't need & that were too big. One was this dress with red roses that I bought my replacement for (the replacement is a short cocktail dress I wore on the extra gig where Method Man was apparently present). I actually got my replacement so I could get rid of that one since it's now too big on me.

I also found this dress I have in a color design I love but the style doesn't work. It's also too big & when I wore it, I had gaps in the front where you could see my bra. If you saw it, you would definitely think of one of those church revival broadcasts from the late '80s or early '90s.

I might be the first skinny person in history who was never remotely overweight & has to get rid of things she got in middle & high school because they're now too big on her. I've aged & gotten thinner; what the Hell?!?!

I was ultimately motivated to get rid of certain things for a few reasons:

A) How many church lady outfits do I really need? I mean, I don't go to church & have no real desire to do so.

We're not talking business casual clothing or stuff you could wear in an office or the courtroom. I'm talking things that when you look at them, you immediately think of some televangelist's wife or older daughter.

B) I didn't pick out this stuff or buy it for myself. What's my compulsion with keeping things that arguably aren't really in my style or aesthetic?

C) I'm not a little kid anymore. I've also started a new regime where I act as me for any audience. I don't do what some of these Dear Prudence letter writers do & "act on my best behavior" around in-laws or let them tell me how to dress, otherwise attempting to infantalize me. No, thank you! I would never be married to a man whose family did that to me. I had enough of it in my own household with my own mother.

So if I've adopted the "accept me for me or go fuck yourself" ethic, why keep things that have no relevance to it? Who am I trying to impress or please? No one.

Seriously, I wonder what the hell is wrong with women who put up with that shit? If my in-laws made me call them "Mr." & "Mrs.," I would make them call me "Ms." and "Esquire/Attorney at Law/Counselor." Same for everyone else, in fact. Celebrities included.

If you make me call you "Mr." or "Mrs./Ms.," you have to call me "Ms." and refer to me as "Esquire/Attorney at Law/Counselor." I can be a prick too & will sharply rebuke you if you demand me to use formality while you try using my first name, which is informal! I'm married but "Ms." is my preferred title. Save the "Mrs." for formal events (ideally where you're including my spouse) or for when I look like an old lady.

NEVER refer to me as "Mrs. [Husband's first name][Husband's last name]" if you are not from my husband's family or someone we know well since I will brand you a sexist for making me an accessory on my husband's relationship charm bracelet vs. an independent person with opinions, feelings, preferences, etc.

Asking for formality tends to mean you will not have a warm or authentic relationship with someone. Granted, this comes from a woman who never had to call anyone "Mr." or "Mrs." or use other titles unless the person was a teacher or a school administrator at her school.

My mother taught us that respect is earned, not given just because you've managed to live on this planet longer than we have. We met some very shitty adults in my childhood who were not worthy of respect & my mother basically told us we didn't have to respect them. I hope my sister continues to raise her kids with that critical eye toward "respect your elders." Her oldest son has already done us proud with that one since he's called out BS by adults at the age of 9.

D) It doesn't fit! Am I keeping this stuff so if I gain a little weight, I don't have to go completely naked?

E) Then, finally, I've never worn it. If I haven't worn it after having it 10+ years, why am I still keeping it?

There was also the corollary of "God, this is so uncomfortable on me!" as for why I haven't worn something. Age does not make a pair of shoes more comfortable on your feet.

So it makes me feel better to get rid of some things. Asked my neighbor if she wanted anything & some of the clutter got out that way. Now I just have to find a place for a very conservative bridesmaid dress & 4 pairs of size 8 shoes (two of them open toed). I can take some of it to Bottomless Closet, a non-profit that provides business clothing to women in NYC. I like their concept, they have their financials out in the open for you & I donated there before without hassle or BS. Perhaps it's also a weight off my psyche & saying "Hey, I'm an adult now & I don't have to impress or hide from anybody!"

I also got information recently about an attempt to create a list of "non-sexist Christmas gifts" from UltraViolet, a progressive organization that deals with women's issues.

Personally, I feel sexism is in the eye of the beholder. We had Barbies but we never played "Barbie goes to the prom" or "Math is hard" Barbie. Barbie was a domestic abuser who beat Ken & our other dolls in our world. She was pretty much Satan in our world & everyone had to flee from her. Yeah, this might give you some insight on how we grew up except my father wasn't a domestic abuser (a fact he touted many times, in fact, especially if you talked about his drinking). My mother even said that she would leave my father if he ever laid a hand on her & reminded us that "they always go to sleep." Our 99.9% female cast were strong women who stood up for themselves & their kids. Playing Barbie in this way, I don't think you could say we were corrupted into some sexist thinking or mores; Barbie might not have been a great person but she certainly wasn't a weakling! I'm also the oldest & my parents wanted me to be a boy; they never seemed disappointed though, maybe because some of my behavior is more traditionally masculine than feminine like being the responsible one and standing up for myself all the time.

Sexism is something you learn from the home environment, parenting in particular. We didn't really learn that since my mother had to do almost everything out of necessity. She had maybe 1/2 a parent to work with at best because of my father's alcoholism & at one point, she was a single parent since they separated.

Barbie is not the old blackface figurines from yesteryear, where just looking at them evokes the racism. Even if you look at a Barbie objectively, I don't think you'd find sexism there. I guess me also being thin colors that view but it's my opinion.

When I got information about it, I felt like "Can't we just have gifts? Can't we just BE?" We got toy cars as kids as well since my father is a car enthusiast (and my sister also has some interest there). I feel like a cigar is just a cigar & what you do with things or how you use them is what counts vs. the presence of a toy. I would certainly never say "Oh, my niece can't have a Barbie doll because of the 'math is hard' Barbie." You have to watch how kids are playing and go from there. I also believe in learning by showing vs. telling someone to do or not do something.

I refuse to go around thinking about sexist implications of gifts. This is an example of one of those instances where I think some people are being too feminist for their own good & fussing over the wrong issues. There's no need to shove men down or make everyone live in drudgery when life is hard enough already with the things you can't control. Conduct bothers me a trillion times more than a Barbie ever would. I say get the damn gift that will make your recipient happy & stop telling kids what they want to have!

My Social Media Article in the New York County Lawyer, Another Job Rejection & What I'm Hearing From the Universe

Right before I left town, my article on social media was published in NYCLA's newsletter, New York County Lawyer. You can read it here. Go to page 12.

Did you notice that my title wasn't listed in the Table of Contents in the front? I did. I also want you to read the other articles in there. Then, read mine. Did you see the difference in writing style? It's unmistakeable. I also decided to tackle a viewpoint that's not being spouted by Career Builder, HR blog writers or anyone in the legal community.

After all, this blog is by design not written to impress anyone. Who I am in general is also not designed to impress anyone. I actually evolved from 7th grade; had I not done this, I'd have probably committed my own school shooting & been far more legendary as well as successful at it than those Columbine boys. They didn't have the advantage of "the smart kid" persona or being so beyond suspicion like I was. I don't recall them having insiders to help them in their attack whereas I was an insider & knew quite a few of them. Society & mankind as a whole are better off with me not spending my time trying to impress others.

You know what the consensus has been when I get feedback on this blog? It's been positive. In fact, a friend of mine told me a few days ago that I shouldn't dare change who I am or censor myself in this blog since that's what makes me interesting, special & will take me places in this life. This friend also said I lack confidence in myself since I was the perfect person to become Subcommittee Chair of Entertainment & Media at NYCLA. I mentioned that I was mostly shocked since I really don't put stock in the legal industry or the BigLaw establishment that governs most bar associations. Look at all the slights I've had with bar associations, comments I've endured (like the guy who remarked on my nail polish at the very first NYCLA event I went to & had traveled from New Haven to show up for), oversights like this lack of mention of my article on the Table of Contents as well as not getting credit for bringing in a colleague's short film into NYCLA's First Film Festival & "offended" veteran attorneys who get all butt hurt when I don't kiss their asses or refer to them as "Sir" or "Your Excellency!" Would you put any stock in a group that treated you that way?

These days, I'm getting more respect from the legal industry & bar associations (getting this position being one example) but I feel like it's still a work in progress. Planning my first event now & with a little help from some great, non-stuffy folks, I plan to make the bar association fit me and be welcoming to me + those like me who say the bar association isn't their scene (more details when it's confirmed & finalized). I'm also going to an event at City Bar next week to see if I can't keep inspiring new entrants to this field to be their damn selves instead of trying to impress old, stuffy, perma-adults who never went to a frat party (my freshman fling in college claimed he wouldn't go to one & said he'd only go to wine tastings), watched cartoons or did anything frivolous, even when they were babies. Not to mention plenty of them would sell folks out in a heartbeat. I say why give a shit about those people & what they think?

My friend does have a point, though. I'm not sure it's lack of self-confidence as much as lack of confidence in the public & people. Call it the Groucho Marx syndrome: the "I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member" ethic. With all the whining & encouraging everyone to be miserable cretins like them, my attitude toward the populace couldn't be all that great. I even got a tattoo to commemorate that general feeling (though it was more specifically related to love).

Granted, I do have supportive people in my life & discovered I had more fans of me than I ever thought I did. I think I'll be taking his advice in the near future. The universe is kind of telling me to do that anyway.

I interviewed for yet another job opportunity (this time as a lawyer who was going to eventually be a business owner in a non-entertainment related business). I finally heard back on it after I figured it was going to be another case of an interviewer going MIA & making me want to see that business destroyed. Apparently, the position wasn't filled but the owners decided to seek out someone with business experience. I said "More than mine?" since you'd better believe I mentioned my company in that interview. The owner I talked to said "A different kind of experience."

No harm, no foul but it just confirms something I have finally truly come to grips with: I am not meant to have a full time day job that isn't related in some way to the entertainment industry & where I am not in charge.

Let's look at this from a logical standpoint:

1. The industry comes up everywhere I go, even in forums completely unrelated to it like Monday Night Law.
2. I got this leadership role in Entertainment & Media.
3. In all the years I've lived in NYC (and maybe we can include Connecticut as well since my only resume experiences there were from law school clinic work), no job I've looked at for a full time role has ever panned out. Interviewers disappeared, companies turned out to be scam operations or too shady for my tastes, freelance legal clients were unbearable, one legal position was filled with zero notice to me after I had an interview, that temp agency didn't pay me timely.

Other than that temp gig I've done a couple times & some freelance writing work, nothing has really panned out or lasted long term.

4. Most of my success has been from entertainment work/opportunities. Even that temp gig I did initially called for someone with acting experience so the person wouldn't sound like (s)he was reading from a script! Not everything I've done in the industry has worked out but my track record with it over the years has been much better than in things having zero to do with the business or any creative skills I have.
5. Most jobs being offered & probably all of them for attorneys require being a robot, exercising zero independent judgment and never thinking outside the box. The people who claim to want this stuff never follow up with me so you know they don't actually mean it.
6. To get most jobs, you have to become a robot or worry about impressing someone. I absolutely refuse to do that; I simply present a logical argument & get the information I need since I consider a job interview my evaluation of the interviewer as well.

Add it all up & it's pretty obvious the universe is yelling "You belong in this business, Angry Redheaded Lawyer! Things are going to work out for you so be patient & stop stressing about it!"

I also don't have the same verve or passion for things that don't relate to my business or give me some creative opportunity, name recognition, or prestige. At one point, I thought maybe I'd lost my ambition since I just don't have the same drive or interest in anything not related to my industry. Then I found I hadn't: I've just lost patience for the BS most people are more than happy to put up with in society for whatever reason. Is it bad that I lost this when I was still in my 20s (I think it was 28 or 29)?

Most of my family members died in their 60s or sooner so don't assume I'll have tons & tons of years to have to deal with any BS. My husband says that's not going to happen to me. Not sure about that but genetics don't favor me seeing my 80s. Granted maybe better access to medical care, a better diet & more means to pay for stuff could help. I'm also bigger on preventive medicine than some of my family members were though I'm not out popping pills over every little ailment. No abnormal germ phobias here.

Oh, and that show where I was playing a prostitute was delayed since the director had a mild heart attack. Maybe this wasn't the nicest thought & I wish for our director's speedy recovery but I couldn't help but think that if there'd been a younger assistant director around or we started doing projects by the younger members of the group, such things would be less likely to be an issue. I have written my own work before & let's face it, my generation isn't the sort to wait around a million years to get respect or be seen as worthy to do things we've been excelling at forever. These days, I'm thrilled to see more people not waiting for the old guard to give them opportunity & going out to get it for themselves. Even fast food workers are getting into the act. Personally, I haven't eaten it in years & have no plans to start eating it again. My cooking is much better & won't make me sick. Plus, in NYC, you might as well go elsewhere with the ungodly prices like the authentic NY pizza joints or independently owned diners. Supersize Me also may have influenced this decision but it was mostly lack of money & not liking the stomach sickness that came with eating it.

So, looking forward to my first event & entering my leadership tenure with style. It could become fucking EPIC & if it does, I'll be a very happy woman. I heard about that bar association's seeking entries for the Second Film Festival but then nothing happened. Gee, might have alienating me been a factor there? You know, the person who actually works within the industry & knows filmmakers? I hope it was since that would serve them right. My program will reflect me & my interests. If you know me, you won't be shocked.

My First NC Thanksgiving as a Married Woman, Some Travel Tips for the Non-Southerners & Life Updates

After over 6 years of marriage, I finally got to take my husband to NC for Thanksgiving dinner with my family. Seriously, because my husband has a worthless union and the same managers took the same holidays EVERY SINGLE YEAR since time began, we had no chance of me ever getting to see my family for a major holiday unless I went by myself.

I don't know about you but me personally, I feel that if you've got a spouse you actually care about you don't go off by yourself to see your family for the holidays. That's what I did when I was single & we were dating; it's a different story if you're happily married. I'd actually miss my husband & be very unpleasant to be around if I didn't get to spend a major holiday with him. Plus, I do tend to get hit on if I do things by myself & who needs that headache?

Finally, you can't underestimate the advantage of moral support if you're essentially a stranger in a strange land like I am in NC. Let me spend time around folk who aren't trying to play fashion police on me or demanding me to be an old frump for the sake of their kids.

Our journey takes place in the small town of Lexington, NC. My mom finally got her dream home out in the middle of nowhere but because of my sister's housing situation, we were placed in a hotel. This hotel was awesome & for more reasons than one.

For one thing, we got an upgrade to a suite since there were no rooms we had booked that were available for our full stay of one week. I called it the "rock star suite" since we had our own fold out couch & a table with chairs as well as a HUGE tub & shower in a decent sized bathroom (if you saw our bathroom at home & bathrooms in NYC generally, you'd agree with me on this). The water pressure there was also the best I've encountered at any hotel, probably better than what we have at home. Oh, and when they'd told my family they pride themselves on their cleanliness they weren't kidding. Our room was pristine!

They also had an eating facility that was open even when the local restaurants weren't. I didn't eat anything there but I liked the convenience factor. We were also near a dollar store, a grocery store, a few gas stations & a lot of stuff. You could feel the train come in on occasion but being on the third floor, it never bothered me in the morning. I only felt it once when my husband told me about it & I felt some shaking in the bed; it just felt like we had a vibrating bed for a moment.

One of my reasons for visiting was to see my niece & nephews. I'm childfree but I don't want these kids not knowing who I am or being influenced by me. I view it as one of my life duties to influence those kids. Heck, my niece looks just like me so as a rule she's got to have some influence from me. I told my mom & sister I'd be making sure my mini-me didn't let anyone push her around or treat her badly. She cried some but I'd find her making noise, talk to her and if she wasn't hungry or in the dark, she'd stop crying and just look at me. She'd also make some noise on occasion like she was trying to talk to me. Having a grown version of her apparently captivated her attention; at least, that's what my family told me.

My younger nephew, though, is totally my sister's kid in the sense that he's a screamer & largely non-verbal. He's sort of known as the problem child. My father's even started calling him "Chuckie" (from the Child's Play series if you don't get the reference; he's not a redhead or afraid of everything like the Rugrats character). Being around that kid & the constant screaming he did (forget my sister even going to the bathroom; he'd scream & bang on the door and stick his feet under like a cat) makes me even more staunchly childfree. He's getting checked out soon for his issues but being around small kids is STILL exhausting & my husband doesn't do well with screaming kids since he gets headaches from that stuff.

He spent more time with my sister's oldest kid, who's 9 & said I was his favorite. That kid is the one who apparently acts most like me since he's like a 20 year old living in a 9 year old's body. My husband was bugging him with tickle attacks & I said he should be nice to my nephew since he'll very likely be taller than my husband when he's a teenager. My sister's hoping for that anyway since she'd like a kid to play basketball for UNC-Chapel Hill.

My younger nephew might have a shot as a wrestler if he keeps his form & demeanor.

Let me tell you, visiting kids is not the same as having them & I'm more than happy to not deal with it. My mother even said that anyone trying to pressure me to have kids or who thought I should was stupid since I pointed out I couldn't handle what my sister is doing in caring for her 2 small kids. I wouldn't have the patience & those kids would end up wearing duct tape as a permanent fashion accessory. Give me a sick cat any day!

Years ago, I thought about what it would be like doing my sister's life instead of being in law school & I felt law school was much easier than being a single parent (this was shortly after her first husband died & my older nephew was himself a little kid, though not a screamer or as difficult).

Thanksgiving itself was fun. My husband got to have Honeybaked Ham (a tradition at my family's along with turkey, homemade pumpkin pie & so forth; he never gets it at any of his family members' homes) though he didn't get to have more Italian fare like we would if we'd gone to his parents' house instead. He also didn't have my mother complaining about cooking; she just got annoyed when she couldn't find things at the store & when the turkey didn't come out to suit her (thought I didn't have any issue with it & my older nephew told her it was good). Overall, my husband said he was thrilled to do Thanksgiving someplace else since he didn't have to deal with his family's drama. My family certainly has drama, don't get me wrong, though I didn't get into any big fights with my sister. My husband pointed this out to me later & said we'd matured. I said "No, I just didn't want to be an asshole having fights in the presence of my younger nephew." Consideration after my former friend decided to have her little outburst in front of her 4 year old.

Guess that brings one to the deadbeat report: basically, my former friend is still doing the same shit & her former husband has already found someone else. Good for him, except he's neglecting their kid & epitomizing the term "deadbeat dad." I don't think kids deserve to be blamed for the conduct of their parents or punished for their parents' sins, real or perceived. That's a huge reason I'll get nasty if you ask me things about my parents & use that to make judgements about me or my "status" in your eyes.

Imagine if we blamed everyone for what their parents did or the financial status/family name of their parents: most of us would be in prison & the permanent underclass would be much larger. At the very least, a lot of people would be societal outcasts. Just because someone's parents are scumbags doesn't mean that person became a scumbag as well. Some of us actually learned something from our childhood experiences & had as much contempt for things our parents did as anyone else. Some of us bothered to take steps NOT to be like our parents. I'm an individual, damn it! Judge me on my OWN merits, not that of my family members (especially the ones I don't even talk to or wouldn't piss on if they were on fire). That's how I judge others.

We also got to spend time with my husband's aunt & uncle. This was fun since we didn't go anyplace featuring heavy, greasy food and on Friday, got to go to a tea. It was my first actual one (unless you count the one I planned for my sorority with some help from the member who came up with the idea in the first place; I was told I did a good job, though I felt the credit should have gone to the previous Collegiate/Alumnae Liaison who'd suggested it & graduated before she could execute it). The food & tea were great and the venue was fantastic; in fact, I'd like to do it again sometime.

So, if you're going to travel to the South here are some tips:

1. Try to avoid taking the toll road if you can. Yes, there's a way to get there from NYC without having to pay tolls after leaving NYC. You can't really do this in the winter time but in the spring or summer, you will want to handle it this way.

2. The cuisine in the South is VERY heavy & greasy. Seriously, if you didn't grow up there or you're going after being away from there for years you're going to feel it. I have when I've gone back. There are things I really can't eat anymore or have to eat in limited quantities.

This probably answers the question of why so many Southerners are hell bent on controlling the sex lives of others: little children as well as greasy cuisine are massive libido killers. It made me wonder how I managed to have a functional sex life when I lived down there. Maybe it's because I lived in Atlanta so I had more options. Or my body had adapted to being in all this pain on frequent occasions. Funny thing is once you're down there a while, your body can adapt to it.

However, if you can I strongly suggest getting home cooking. It's less greasy unless, of course, everyone you know who cooks down there drowns everything in lard. When I had Thanksgiving dinner, my stomach didn't feel so bad like it had when we'd had to live off food we got from many places down there. Try to find the non-greasy fare if you can't get home cooking.

3. Make sure you get a hotel room that has a fridge & at least a microwave. I would have liked an oven but at least we could go to the grocery store & get some staples so we didn't have to eat out every single day. When you're a kid, eating out everyday sounds like a good idea. In reality, though, you will start to feel like crap after about 2-3 days. If you don't, you've either got a cast iron stomach or some kind of weird health condition I think I'd rather not know about.

I guess part of my experience is my whole prior baggage of living there. Maybe I'd view the area differently if I hadn't grown up there & had the childhood I did.

Oh, and if you saw my article in the latest New York County Lawyers newsletter, thanks for reading. If you didn't, go here & find it on page 12.

I also got named to be the Subcommittee Chair of Entertainment & Media for the eMIPS committee there (which is short for Entertainment, Media, Intellectual Property & Sports). This came as a total shock since I figured an unconventional type like me had no chance but apparently that whole thing worked this time. Shocked? I certainly am since I'm not the typical bar association leader & it sort of epitomizes my whole making the field fit me instead of conforming to someone else's rules.

I'm using it to my advantage & have my own ideas for things. Just have to talk to some more of my creative peeps before I formalize what I have. As far as I'm concerned, you don't assume what people want & should ask directly. I know what I've seen & how I want to make my mark so instead of making assumptions on what people want or need, I figured it was better to ask directly. Lawyers are in a service industry & if you're in a service industry, you're supposed to be giving the people what THEY want. If you don't, you're messing up big time & will screw yourself in the long run.

Retailers who don't have what I want or listen to my feedback? I don't waste my time on them. This isn't rocket science; it's common sense. We have the Internet & I have happily gone there to buy things I'd buy at a local store if they only bothered to carry them (like a long skirt slip I needed for this long white skirt I have that's totally see through otherwise). Plus, you can't complain if you're part of the problem.

Now to follow up on this job opportunity I interviewed for, do some writing tasks & generally get used to being back in my home with my kitty and in my city. One sign that you belong somewhere is that when you come back, you feel like kissing the ground & hugging people out of happiness. We'll see if my cynicism will still be warranted or not. At the very least, I have a game plan if I didn't get that opportunity.

Paying for Sanity, The Incompetence After the Storm & Why Can't We Get Burlseque at the Bar?

This is a lesson I've had to remind myself of tons of times. As a frugal person by nature, I tend to be very picky about spending money & have refused to spend what I feel is too much on something. My husband has a similar attitude; that's probably one reason our marriage works so well. I don't have to fight with anyone who spends money like a drunken sailor who believes he's never getting laid ever again so has to spend a fortune on entertaining the hottest girl in the room so he won't die without having gotten that quickie along with getting that good, stiff drink since they're no longer making that brand of liquor. We're huge believers in frugality.

At the same time, though I've found there are times when it's okay to spend more money. One of those times was today for gasoline.

You may have read about NYC's gas lines & recent start of rationing. I was awakened Tuesday morning by horn honking from stopped cars that were in a gas line on my block. If they'd not suspended parking that day & my car wasn't already on the proper side to avoid being ticked, I would not have been able to move my car to the proper side. Those parking tickets aren't cheap.

I also saw the craziness in walking around my neighborhood & I'm having none of it. Fortunately, we had more gas in our car pre-Sandy that I thought we had. This meant the freedom of choice. I'd heard there were no lines in Connecticut or near a relative in New Jersey (where I understand gas rationing is still going on but has actually made a difference).

I decided to go to Connecticut to get gas & got up at 7 this morning to make that happen. Bear in mind that lately, I've been waking up around 12/1 p.m. (Sandy also screwed up my sleep schedule). I had to go today in order to be able to go on a trip that's been planned for months. Getting there & back was so much easier, let me tell you.

The station near my house had a line when I left for Connecticut & when I got back at around 9-9:15 this morning, the line had started to take over the main road I had to travel on. A normally 2 lane road was now 1 lane. I paid 50 cents more per gallon but I am more than happy to have paid it, for many reasons.

1. Not sitting in a 30 minutes if I'm lucky line. I'm not a person you want doing that since I've got a temper & if you mess with me, there will be problems. I also never claimed to be a paragon of patience.
2. Not paying increased tolls to get to New Jersey.
3. Not having to drive in Manhattan to go to that part of New Jersey. My route was all highway.
4. Being more familiar with Connecticut since I used to live there. I also know Connecticut doesn't have traffic circles or areas where you can't make left turns.

If this were a credit card commercial, it would end with Saving time & preventing unnecessary arrests: priceless. It's like "Wow, having lived in Connecticut for 3 years & driving around various areas of the state came in handy." That drive also helped me refresh my driving legs for the upcoming road trip & means we can actually take that road trip.

To avoid a gas line, you bet I'll do this. Essentially, it's paying for comfort. I found the same to be true when I took Amtrak on business class. That experience is why I'm not doing anything unless I can pay to get business class or not deal with crazy BS that's just going to raise my blood pressure & feel like Chinese water torture. Or for an analogy closer to home, maybe I should say I try to avoid situations akin to having a thong stuck in your butt & not being able to move it because you're at a work function or business meeting where there's no bathroom in sight or you're stuck with some irritating jerk you're just pretending to like who refuses to mingle.

I tend to resent paying more money for such things but today, I had no problem with it. Extraordinary circumstances & all. Can't believe Bloomberg claims this is going to continue for "a few more weeks." All I can say is he'd better be suspending alternate side parking restrictions while that's going on since I'm not waiting for a gas line to leave my block so I can move my car to the proper place. The street has enough room for one car on it so forget passing anyone; the only way you'll get people to move there is with a weapon or a death threat.

I'm also gratified to hear that people in Long Island started protesting at LIPA's headquarters because of the slow moving progress to restore power. My husband said LIPA is worthless & is glad he doesn't have to deal with them. Most people I know have either long since gotten their power back or never lost it in the first place (including in Long Island). I want their leadership to get nailed by the governor & hopefully forced to pay heavy fines. I'm sure those people without power would also like to see them serve some jail time.

You know, maybe the protestors without power should go camp out at the board members' homes & say "Until you restore our power, we're not moving." Might light some fires under a few behind if you did that, don't you think? Wouldn't it be ironic if they called the cops & the cops who showed up were also without power & sided with the protestors? Or maybe if the cops were human beings & agreed with this act? Gee, desperate times. Anyone get the memo on that?

I can't imagine the management there is sitting with no electricity at this point & I'd bet money they aren't.

Anyhow, another time I have to tell myself it's okay to spend money is if paying more means higher quality. There's also paying for things you don't already have or if you need a replacement. I'm very much of the school of using things until you can't anymore. I feel it's wasteful to get rid of something that still works or still fits you if it's not in disrepair. Had to reluctantly get rid of a rain coat I still can't find a viable replacement for due to it being in disrepair & despite my efforts in sewing up holes. I'd just get new holes in it. That still pisses me off & I can't find a replacement for it in my size. No one seems to have it & I adamantly refuse to get something that looks frumpy, boring or dull. Nor do I get things that look like what everyone else is wearing; kill me for having an aesthetic & caring about my appearance.

In other news, I got a part in the next City Bar show & guess what I'm playing: a "lady of the evening." I did get the one line I asked for & will get some solo singing in a song. This is probably the only venue where I can play that role without worrying about exploitation, losing credibility in my industry or getting a grievance filed against me. I also have to find out the time period of the show so I know how to do costuming. I have ideas; got the boots already though they aren't stripper heels. They come up pretty high on my leg & I've got lots of short skirts.

One thing I know is that I can't dress like I normally do. For one thing, no one's ever mistaken me for a prostitute (even in NC & Atlanta) & I've seen NYC prostitutes. They dress much more revealing than I do.

My husband's wary about it but I pointed out that I can't dress in something I'd wear normally (especially in the summer) since that's not honest to the role or the scene if it's present day. I most certainly will make sure nothing's going to be coming out unexpectedly (otherwise, I'd feel too self-conscious) & I've been on stage in all sorts of getup over the years. I've been in a swimsuit & reminded him that I did a song for my law school talent night one year in a lingerie top (a long camisole top that had a bra built in & was in the lingerie section of the store I got it from). We were dating at that time & he did not play Fashion Police over it.

If I get to dress as a modern day prostitute, I'll be thrilled since it will be an opportunity for rebellion. When I read the role, I was in immediately since I thought "In this stuffy forum, getting to do that & get away with it would be awesome!" Plus, no one would get to accuse me of hiding my body in shame or because I have scars or something that embarrasses me. I'm always trying to find ways to rebel in that atmosphere & man, if that's not the ultimate way to do so I'm not sure what is. There's also the stretch of my acting muscles if I get to play it honestly. If it's not present day, I'll have to buy stuff.

I've often thought about how cool it would be if we had burlesque at a bar association event; not all the shows involve nudity & most of the acts I've seen had zero nudity. It's also an art form & does require some talent I don't have. The outfit I have in mind would certainly lend to more clothing than most burlesque performers end up in at the end of their acts. Plus, burlesque is certainly not the same as stripping & only an uncultured idiot who doesn't know anything about it would say it was. There's a different format & tone in burlesque than there is a strip show. I also don't think a burlesque performer will give you a lap dance no matter how much money you offer her (or him, but mostly her). The men would probably still be titillated enough to show up though at the Liberty Belle Spectacular, it was mostly women watching the burlesque performances.

Now to fully enjoy Car 54, Where Are You? Hopefully, I'll be awake enough to watch Dobie Gillis after this. I like both of these shows since they are funny as hell & wish they had good DVD sets. If they did, we'd own them in a heartbeat. I'm sad that Car 54 had cruddy DVD sets. Why can't METv show their full schedule in my area?! I have it on DVD but I'd watch Get Smart on there or see about watching The Donna Reed Show since I've not seen it since the late '80s when we had cable & Nick at Nite. Why can't they show these programs at more convenient times than 2 & 3 a.m. on Saturday nights? I hate the stupid infomercials they show for half the day when we could be watching MeTV shows, considering we don't have Antenna TV.