Job Hunting Pet Peeves I Don't Think I Covered, DVD Censorship & Liberal Christians a.k.a.

Man, I have a TON of rants in me to write. I'll have to do another installment of appalling Craig's List ads soon, there's the upcoming trip to Comic Con, starting another year at Monday Night Law and general trying to catch up on things.

There's also been the recent plague of illness in my house & my husband's choosing to spend the day in our living room cloaked in darkness (and it was a sunny day). I can't do that during the day, even if I'm a little sick unless I got no sleep the night before. He had a headache but I can't function like that so I had to sit elsewhere & fire up the laptop.

From time to time, I do occasionally look into paying positions I see posted online that I might be qualified to do & aren't from mega-corporations. Oftentimes, I inquire about the job. I do this for multiple reasons:

A) My career, background & skills aren't typical. My film company work was set up specifically for me & my career ambitions. I also tended to get more work in things as a result of good service in jobs I had. Plus, if you put everything I've ever done or even have done recently in one resume, that resume would be a tome. No one would read it.

B) As a business owner, I'm all about efficiency. Even if I weren't one, I'm still concerned about it as a lawyer and steward of time. If you have a very competitive atmosphere, don't appreciate people's hard work & offer zero advancement or reward opportunities for good work, why do I want to bother dealing with you? If you require weekend work, why do I want to bother? If you engage in needless dog & pony shows and never tell anyone the truth, why would I want to bother?

C) I'm not the typical attorney & the typical legal environment is not for me. I also notice that people who claim not to offer these typical environments & want someone who isn't a typical stereotype are outright liars. Like anyone with a brain, I believe actions speak much louder than words.

I judge people & their businesses based on my interactions with them. You can even read here about businesses I thought did job searching well along with those who royally fuck it up. In fact, I start judging you when I read your ad.

If I see misspellings, you announce irrelevant information about a protected category, put in duties that lawyers don't actually perform or duties the person you're seeking to do can't legally perform them (like law students committing unauthorized practice of law) or you're asking for some very shitty job terms (like full time internships or $40K a year for a lawyer with 5 years experience & a demand to see a law school transcript), I will bypass you & may even ball you out for being a moron, an exploiter or God knows what else that's tarnishing MY name & MY field since you're purporting to represent it.

So when you have questions about an ad, don't you hate it when you ask questions & the person either doesn't bother giving answers or insists that you submit your resume & cover letter without knowing ANYTHING?

That outright pisses me off since I do explain why I'm asking questions.

Personally, I welcome people to ask me questions if they might not quite fit for a job my company posts. If you want to be paid for a non-paying position, I don't want you interviewing me & my CEO to then drop that on us when we're about to give you an offer.

I also don't want to send my materials someplace where they will just go in the garbage b/c the hiring person or HR rep is a small minded asshole who won't bother considering anyone with a legal license to do that particular role, even if they say they are not seeking a career there & don't mind doing it.

Nor am I working for a company that doesn't belong to me & isn't in the entertainment industry as an attorney for $35K a year. That is exploitation and sorry, not interested in being a slave to anyone. I usually ask for a salary range so I can get an idea of what the prospective employer's expectations are & list what I have made in the past to set a foundation for what will or won't be acceptable to me. If you can't meet that, lower your standards or find someone with less experience.

One is going to suffer: take your pick.

Unlike some people, I can take care of myself & don't need to be anyone's slave or victim. I didn't put up with that at my high school retail job so I sure won't do it when I'm about to hit the 5 year mark in admission to 2 states as a lawyer.

I also don't want to deal with yet another person who's going to pull a disappearing act. If you're not serious & can't commit to things, don't waste my time.

The reason I'm asking questions is to avoid wasting OUR time. That includes YOUR time. If you are too dumb to get this concept, then you have no business being an HR person or in any management position in a business. If you can't even say "I'll ask & get back to you," if you don't know the answer then you have shown me that your employer is probably a badly managed business I want nothing to do with.

If you're a CEO or head of the company & you do this, you have insured that I will stay far away from your business & warn people I know not to work with you since you have no concept of efficiency or time management.

Another huge pet peeve (particularly on Craig's List): demands to get MY resume and materials with MY personal information when the ad poster gives you ZERO information about themselves, not even listing a company name.

First off, slick, I have an increasing public profile. I'm on IMDB & last I checked, my LinkedIn profile was the first result when you Googled my name. I'm not a "Jane Smith" or someone with a super common name. There are significant safety & professional reasons for me not to give out my personal information to total strangers who I know NOTHING about.

If you're reading this blog for the first time, you should know that people in the entertainment industry DO get harassed by the general public. Not just actors but people who are higher ups in production companies or work in casting offices & other areas where random people will want to be your buddy b/c of your job. We don't want you asking us to read your script, audition your sister for acting work, meet famous people, or anything else that tends to come up when you work in this industry & random people find out about it.

There's also the more sinister side with stalkers & haters trying to stop people's careers, particularly for actors & anyone working in front of the camera.

You get information about me at MY leisure, not because you Googled me before ever talking to me. You might even find things that are illegal for you to consider in the hiring process.

Second, how is it fair to expect people to give you blood samples when you can't even give your company name in your ad for someone to research? There are scammers out there & lawyers especially have to watch out for them. It's about gotten to the point where I'll need to start asking to see financial reports before I work with an employer due to some of the experiences I've had. Even the appearance of shadiness is bad for a lawyer to work in, regardless of the employer.

I deserve the right to vet you just as you should get to vet me to verify what I say. If you refuse to give an equal exchange of information, I'm not dealing with you. How do I know YOU are legit & not just another scammer?

Some people could totally use a lesson in "treat others as you'd want to be treated." Would these chuckleheads give out their personal life stories to ads with zero information? Would they hand over all their details for some job they might not even find suitable for them due to salary, company fit, hours, unrealistic expectations, etc.? If you own a business & you wouldn't do this, then maybe you should NOT be expecting strangers to do such things.

I also heard that the next season of Tiny Toon Adventures is finally coming out but they've decided to leave off an episode where the characters were drinking to be cool & that was apparently aired only once. Apparently, Warner Bros has ignored the fact that the kids who watched this show are now ADULTS who can make their OWN choices on things & will most likely be buying this set instead of little kids who never saw it, never heard of it and very likely didn't watch it.

I feel like we should boycott the set in protest or complain about it someplace. Considering they've had plans for eons to release the Censored 11 (which I've talked about before), the same principles should apply here. Allegedly, people complained about that episode but who are we talking about? Old people who watched it ages ago? Parents who are too damn lazy to skip the episode or, gee, PARENT for a change & say "no" to their kids?

If kids have been exposed to online porn, Prince's '80s catalog, racially offensive cartoons in the '40s and '50s and even a Spike Lee movie or two, then why in the hell is Warner Bros censoring this DVD set that will be bought by adults?!?! You know, the people who have the disposable income to PAY for it. As I recall, I'm sure this set will be at least $30 if not more. That's not exactly easy money for a child to get & again, do these children pay rent or own their own homes? Do they not have PARENTS who would say "No you can't buy that," if they have an issue with this episode being included?

I hate the "we must protect the childrens" argument (misspelled on purpose) just as much as I hate the tradition argument. It's NOT my job or that of any entertainment company, performer or creative to shelter your little babies from real life. That's YOUR job, parents!

You notice the real parents never go around demanding this of creative types. It's time they & everyone else stood up to these breeding bullies & told them to shove it up their collective asses while perhaps getting Social Services involved to take those children out of such an abusive situation. Yes, expecting everyone else to parent for you is emotional abuse against your kids (that is neglect, after all) as well as little Hitler behavior that will probably get you taken out sooner or later when you piss off the wrong person. I think "unfit" is a perfect adjective for that kind of parent.

Lastly, meet some Christians who aren't assholes. Apparently, they are called liberal Christians. They also exist in one of the last places most of you would expect to find them: Oklahoma! Everyone describes that region as a bastion of intolerance, homophobia and right-wing Christian fundies who want to create the Christian Taliban in this country.

Guess those people would be wrong. Rev. Lance Schmitz & Faithful America sound like some good folks to deal with. Bravo, Reverend for calling the owners of Hobby Lobby on their bullshit.

In case you are not aware, Hobby Lobby is a crafts store owned by the Green family. The Green family is a pack of fundie Christians & we all know what fundie Christians are like; in case you don't, they're much like radical Muslims in their adherence to the concept of "my way or the highway." There's no room for moderation or fairness to people who are different with fundies; that's why they are "fundies," after all. Otherwise, they'd be moderates or mainstream Christians.

Hobby Lobby is suing the government over the Affordable Health Care Act, which means employers have to cover contraceptives. Their beef is that "it should not be forced to provide workers with health insurance that covers the morning-after and week-after pills." They claim covering this violates their religious beliefs.

The Green family apparently wishes to tell its employees how to live their personal lives & force any females working there to carry babies they don't want. This Rev. Schmitz said that not only should these assholes not get to use religion to deny women access to birth control but that they need to stay out of women's reproductive decisions since the issue is about contraceptives, not abortion as the fundies claim they are.

Look, fundies & anti-choicers: you lose all credibility with me and any rational thinking person when you dare to ban access to contraceptives while also banning abortion & cutting welfare. You get one or the other. You are NOT going to stop people from having sex & if you think you get to tell ME what to do, then you will be in for a bloody, vicious and no holds barred fight. Just as YOU have the right to wait until you get married to have sex or use it only when you want to have babies, I also have the right to do what I want to in my own life & make my own decisions free from you assholes telling ME what to do.

Do you hear me or anyone else who is pro-choice telling YOU to get an abortion? Are any of us telling YOU to have sex or when to have it? Until you do, you DON'T get to use your religious beliefs to order me around! Beliefs, I might add, that I DO NOT share, support or give any credence to. If I'm not telling you as a grown up what to do, then you don't get to tell me what to do either.

Otherwise, you'd better be ready to go back to the days when women were property, couldn't enter into legally valid contracts (meaning no more student loan obligations from women) & men were liable for anything their women did i.e. wives & daughters. You DO know what they say about there being nothing worse than a scorned woman, don't you?

I think their lawyer is totally lying when he says his clients aren't trying to suppress women or respect the beliefs of people who are different. Classic CYA stuff since they know if they admit to being medieval cretins, people will slam them. If there was one of these stores in my area, I would totally boycott. Heck you could probably also find this family's information & tell them off on this as you want.

How is this different from Chick-Fil-A, you may ask? Well, in the Chick-Fil-A situation the owner wasn't trying to deny insurance coverage or rights to gay employees nor denying them jobs or telling them to harass gay patrons. If they were doing that, as I said before, it would be a different story.

So, see not all Christians are jerks or micromanaging assholes. I told you so! The parishioners of this pastor's church should be proud since he is exemplifying true Christianity & I'll bet would make sure anyone who came to his church, regardless of race, orientation or beliefs, feel welcome. If more Christians were like these folks, we'd have fewer problems in the world. I'm glad more are standing up to the intolerant fundies who make religion look awful.

Society Has Had Enough of Deadbeat Parents

You know the type. The people who let their kids shriek to high heaven & continue smiling, chatting with adults, etc. like nothing unusual is going on. Like their little screeching wonder isn't disturbing other people or ruining the atmosphere of a restaurant/public place.

One guy who's had it is Mike Vuick, the owner of McDain's Restaurant in Monoroeville, PA. Read about it here.

This is guy is my hero! I want to know which restaurants in NYC ban little children so I can make special trips there. Especially after today.

I just got done trying to interview people at a local coffee shop (if you want to know the name, ask). If it's trying to be Starbucks, people have a right to hang out & relax there. In a coffee shop, you can have soft conversations & expect to hear the other person. Relaxation is expected. People do homework there, draw inspiration, etc.

When you can't, this means your child is too freaking loud. My sister has a young child & I know she is cognizant and respectful of other patrons. She would never let her one year old shriek and scream at the expense of everyone's eardrums. Nor would she walk into a Starbucks and chat up some friend, all the while letting her child disturb all the patrons.

NOT this bitch I encountered at the local coffee shop.

While I'm trying to finish up a job interview, her child starts screeching loudly. She continues talking to her friend, making zero effort to attend to this child or find out what's going on.

After not being able to hear my interviewee speak I finally had enough, walked over & said I was trying to finish an interview then said "If you don't mind, can you keep it down?"

Deadbeat mother's friend gets all huffy, essentially proclaiming little precious & his neglectful mother have more right to be there than me. I made it a point to express this to my husband after deadbeat Mommy & my interviewee left (had to call him back anyway since he'd called during that interview). She decides to horn in on the conversation saying "Get an office!"

Well, bitch if you want to kick me out, kick out the people hanging out on laptops. Also didn't see you with a container filled with a beverage in front of you at all times. Maybe you should get the fuck out! Go indulge parental neglect at your own house. Deal with screeching there. Don't do it in a public place.

And why is not a shocker that it was white people involved? The Puerto Rican & Latin people in my neighborhood (including my own neighbors) don't play that shit. THEY pay attention to their screeching kids on the train. THEY make an effort! This bitch made none.

I was sorely tempted to say something to the loudmouth bitch when I left but I didn't. If I see her again, you bet I will. Will there be a fight? I don't know but I sure as Hell have no fear toward this old deadbeat (what else can you say about an entitled princess who supports neglectful parenting over the peaceful coffee shop atmosphere).

Coffee shops aren't even for little kids anyway, asshole! They're for grown ups! No younger than teens anyway.

Furthermore, learned this place is a "grade pending" after seeing no signage on it and the manager is apparently not there on a set schedule. They will get theirs, rest assured.

The Wedding Saga Part 6

This is the last installment of "The Wedding Saga" since we're now on Saturday morning, the day of the wedding. After reading this, you will likely see why I had to consider my estranged friend an ex-friend. I'll also share an epilogue of this whole thing.

Hopefully, it will effectively purge all this from my system since it's been creeping into my head this week and that's not cool. I also tend to handle things better after I write about them and boy, will this be a doozie.

Saturday morning, we have a hair appointment at a local hair place to get our hair done. Somehow, my sister talked my mother into going and getting an updo for her hair. One fact about my mother: she HATES being fussed with. Going to get her hair trimmed is an ordeal for her.

I'm the exact opposite. I've got no objection to having my hair done. As long as the person doing it is licensed, competent and doing what I want done, I'm all set. My sister is similar as she was the first to get her hair done. After all, she was the bride so she had to go first.

While she was getting her hair done, the co-matron of honor arrives with her daughter. I spend most of my time watching my sister get her hair done or talking to my mom. At some point before my sister is done, my mother changes her mind about getting her hair done and says she'll do it at home on her own. My sister and I tried to talk her into staying but she couldn't be moved. I told her she should live a little and one of these days, I vow to have my mom get a nice hairstyle only a pro could do.

The co-matron of honor had no clue how she wanted her hair done while I brought pictures of 3 styles, 2 being a back up in case the one I really wanted could not be done. My mom had reservations about the abilities of the hairstylist. I said if they told me they couldn't do what I wanted, I'd ask why they're licensed to do hair since I certainly can't do it myself.

Luckily, that wasn't an issue. Since I was ready to go and perhaps because I also looked more like the bride and was specifically told not to wear my hair down since her hair was partly down and a similar length to mine, I was next for styling.

While I was waiting to get my hair done, my sister confronts the co-matron of honor about using condiments. She confesses to using the church's hot sauce, as mentioned previously. My sister points out the disrespect to the church. What is this woman's reaction?

She ignores my sister and puts a magazine over her face. My sister pointed out that there was no point in talking to her because of her moving the magazine over her face.

Now I may not be a follower of organized religion but even the biggest heathens I know wouldn't steal someone else's condiments from their fridge. They have a little thing called "respect for other people's property." They'd also not teach their kids that it's okay to steal from others if it's convenient for you, which I felt she was telling her daughter with her behavior to my sister.

That's the first thing this co-matron of honor did that day. There was more.

When I was finished, my hair looked like this:

Considering I have long hair and most people are used to my hair coming down past my neck, this is a radical departure. A lot of work was put in to make sure the hair would not sag on me; it stayed up nicely and I would definitely see about getting it again for future formal events.

My family had nice things to say about it. My only request in picking my updo was that nobody copy it. I'm a big individualist freak anyway but since we were not told to look identical, I didn't want people copying me. I hate looking like everyone else and deliberately avoid wearing things that look exactly the same on 10 other people.

The co-matron of honor joked around when I said this like she'd try copying me just to piss me off. She picks out a style from a book and asks me and my sister whether it looks too much like mine. I thought it did and spoke up, as is my nature. Then a different hairstyle was suggested that my sister had wanted her to get to start with. My sister even told her as much.

The co-matron of honor, in case you don't recognize it, pulled a typical bitch girl move, which I consider a Southern hallmark. If you've seen how Sandy interacts with the Fashion Club on Daria, you know what I'm talking about. Pretending to be sensitive to your feelings while trying to pick something she knows will render objection from you.

Problem is, you can't do this with someone who doesn't care about group harmony and not making waves. It doesn't work with assertive people since assertive types will speak up and protect their interests. When I saw her do this, I thought "Bitch." Intention or not, that's how I saw it & soon, you won't feel too much sympathy for her.

After my hair was done, it was 11 and we had to leave. I could not stay since I had to wash my face to put on makeup, my makeup & outfit was at home and I did want to see my husband. It made sense for me to leave with my sister, who was my ride & had to leave herself. The co-matron of honor, despite being told on Tuesday about having to be alone if only 1 person was doing our hair, gets all upset about this. My sister does not give in to this and we leave.

Getting that updo made me a VERY happy woman. Dressing up always does but that updo really made my day. Good thing because I hadn't faced the ultimate test of emotional fortitude yet.

My husband and I went to Chick-Fil-A so I could redeem a free grilled chicken salad coupon. We also picked up the nugget trays for the wedding, which we had no problem doing.

After arriving at the church, the ladies changing area wasn't open yet so I decided to do something constructive: take out ingredients from my salad I wouldn't eat. I don't know what it is with cheese on salad in the South but it's not something I like on mine so I took it out. Thankfully, the ingredients were separated on each side of the salad so I could remove what I don't eat pretty easily. After doing this, adding dressing and croutons and blending it all together, the changing area was opened.

We got a very nice parlor to change in that was bigger than some Manhattan studio apartments. It had a kitchen, bathroom, couch, table, windows and 2 doors to get in and out from. I moved my clothes and joined my sister and the bridesmaid who should have been matron of honor instead (who happened to arrive with my sister).

The next thing I know, I'm alone in the parlor with the co-matron of honor who has asked to go into the bathroom while I'm putting the final touches on my makeup. Despite my behavior through out the week, she gives me a hug and says she hopes she can visit with me and Tom alone the next time I visit.

Not wanting to buy into this lie but not wanting to bring personal matters into my sister's wedding, I say "I have things to say about that but today is not the day to discuss it."

Simple enough, right? Polite, to the point and honest. One has the right in life to disagree with things and remain silent when the occasion to discuss something is not right. I also felt such a conversation was not appropriate to have in front of her 4 year old daughter.

I go back to eat my lunch. She, unlike most rational people, doesn't leave it alone.

Instead, she walks up and says "You've hurt me all this week with your behavior. I've been here making an effort and you don't seem to care. I made one mistake and you're holding it against me." She proceeds to go off on me and try goading me into a fight, thinking that I'm upset because of her personality 180 when we're long past that.

While she says this, I concentrate on eating my salad so I don't collapse before the wedding at 2 p.m. I also remember what I told my sister about being civil to this woman until after the wedding so it would not be ruined by not having a flower girl or other chaos. My thought was "I will not ruin my sister's wedding by talking about this." I know that if I say a word, I would be accused of trying to ruin my sister's wedding. I'm far classier than that.

She gets hysterical to the point that she starts tearing up and her daughter says "Mommy, what's wrong?" I wonder how she's going to respond to her. She says that life is the problem.

After this, I finish my salad and decide that instead of being a pig by leaving food garbage in the parlor, I'll go to the kitchen and throw my trash out there. I also went to my car to call my husband, who was in a different area of the church, to tell him what happened. I didn't want to tell my sister about it since she had enough to deal with but planned to do so later, like the next day. Since my mother wasn't around, I chose to talk to my husband since he tends to be a calming force for me and I knew he'd not go blabbing about it to others.

While I was doing this, the other matron of honor tells the bridesmaid who should have been doing it instead about how she's upset by her conflict with me and her trying to pick a fight with me. She tells the other matron of honor that it is my sister's day NOT hers and to pull herself together. I didn't learn about this until after I personally thanked her for stepping up in the face of laziness by the co-matron of honor. I wish I had since I'd have thanked her for that as well.

For the rest of the time, I focus on wedding prep and going through the motions. I even helped the other matron of honor zip her dress up and you could not tell she had just done this. She at least kept her mouth shut through this part.

When we got to the service, she proceeds to make a big show of moving my sister's train. Groomsmen were apparently rolling their eyes. I spent most of my time looking over at my husband and the happy couple. The kids did what they were supposed to and the service itself went well. My infant nephew got fussy because a 1 year old doesn't want to wear a suit or sit in a church. The baby holder had to take him out of there during the service.

When we start walking out, I think it looks like the other matron of honor was wanted while I was just there out of obligation. I don't feel particularly special or important as a matron of honor with being given nothing to do in the service while the other one got to do everything while doing next to nothing + trying to ruin the wedding.

At the reception, she horns in on our table because her daughter wants to sit next to me. My husband said that was fine. After all, it's not that little girl's fault that her mother is selfish and has no respect for my family. So I have to sit and go through the motions a little more.

Then, the time to give a toast comes up. My sister wanted both matrons of honor to give a toast but my husband, father and general social pressure lead to me doing it instead of the other one. She also agrees to it, maybe because I actually am good with the public speaking aspect as a performer.

So I got up and spoke from my heart about the bride & groom from my perspective. I made it a point to talk about my brother in law's standing up to be a role model and father to my older nephew since many men wouldn't embrace a kid from an earlier marriage as much as he has. He also didn't have the responsibilities of fatherhood before dating my sister so it's admirable and worth public praise to acknowledge him for that. I meant everything I said and spoke with sincerity.

Afterwards, people complimented me on it. Even the best man said he couldn't do as good a toast as me when he started his! My sister said she was scared since she apparently thought I'd just embarrass her but it was a wedding toast, not her roast at the Friar's Club or elsewhere. If anyone gives her one, you'd better believe I'd want to speak about her.

Once the wedding was over, we had agreed to help clean up. After changing out of my dress (right when we got into the reception area, I changed out of my high heels) and gathering my things into one area in the parlor, I went to see what I could do as well as be near my husband. My husband did a lot in the cleanup effort. I did smaller things like move items that were spread out into closer locations and the like.

Once my husband had done a lot of things, including helping set up the chairs for the choir in the sanctuary, he said he was done and we tried to see if the bride or groom wanted us to do more.

I happened to go outside to see the groom and one of the groomsmen. I mentioned that the other matron of honor and I weren't on the best terms.

Now, you'd think that if someone had confronted the bride's sister on personal matters and had been told by a different bridal attendant to shut the hell up on the bride's wedding day that person would keep their damn mouth shut throughout the day. This co-matron of honor did not have that kind of class.

She instead decides to tell both the bride and the groom about her little confrontation with me. While we are still at the church. While we still have updos in our hair. Maybe even while still wearing dressy attire. I don't even think they had left the church at that time. The groom tells her he wants no part of it. Isn't that an awesome brother in law? If only more family members behaved that way.

He wasn't even around us all that much and he apparently knew something was up before I said a word about not being on good terms with this co-matron of honor.

As my husband and I were leaving, the other matron of honor slipped outside while we were talking to the groom. We simply said our good-byes to the groom and went on our way. After we left, she apparently commented on how I would not acknowledge her.

Let's see:

1. You steal from my aunt's church after my aunt has stuck her neck out & gone through great effort to get the space for the wedding.

2. You force yourself into every possible space and event you can that I must attend as a matron of honor. Then, you mistake that for "making an effort."

3. You stand up in the church and perform nearly every single matron of honor duty while making me look like an obligatory pick for matron of honor that isn't all that well liked. Wouldn't you agree if you were observing this and saw one girl doing everything while the other one was just standing there?

4. You realize that the bride's sister doesn't want to talk to you but try to delude yourself into thinking things are peachy keen with her and get upset when she doesn't follow the rules of your fantasy world.

5. You put yourself before everyone else and try your best to ruin the wedding.

6. You go to my family members and the bride's friends like I'm some bully on the playground that you're tattling on. Guess what? I didn't like that shit when my ex-boyfriend did it & I certainly don't like you doing it either.

That's not even going into what kind of example her daughter is being shown. Besides her trying to ruin the wedding by dragging personal events into it, she chooses to confront me in front of her child. Even I have more respect for kids than to instigate fights with grown ups in front of them.

I wonder how many events she's not gotten to stay for because of that scumbag being more important. I noticed through this trip that she mentioned her dad all the time but never said a word about her mom. I hope her dad gets fairness in family court & that he learns about his ex-wife's actions at this wedding. This, to me, proves that she is far too selfish and egoistic to be taking care of a young child at this point in life. You have to be able to put a child first and doing this stuff shows a course of conduct that doesn't say "My child comes first."

When I get home that evening, I tell my mother about this and how this means I really can't call her a friend anymore. She says it's up to me but that we did need a break from one another anyway. Before that, she'd been talking about not throwing away a friendship I'd had for so long. My husband said that was probably the closest my mom would ever come to saying "drop that friendship like a bad habit." The irony is my mom doesn't even like her all that much. She can tolerate her but she's never been best buddies with her or anything. Her actions at this wedding with the simple confrontation are enough for me to say the friendship is dead.

Her other actions clench that decision, which I had a lot of time to think about on that long ride back to NYC.

Epilogue: After reaching the comfort and peace of NYC (yes, I find NYC comforting and peaceful since it's my home), I decide that since the wedding is over and she's issued some heavy charges against me, it's time to respond. I chose a Facebook message to state my piece and share why I have no incentive to be her friend. Closer to my sister, trying to upstage me, sticking yourself into sister drama & not bothering to have the class to step down or divide up duties more equitably since you didn't do your part, forcing me to deal with you when I don't want to and tattling to my relatives when you don't get what you want.

Would YOU want to deal with someone like this? I did not. I said that until she stopped being a selfish bitch, she shouldn't bother trying to communicate with me. I also said that if she talked to my family members about our personal conflicts, she could consider herself dead to me. For good measure, I deleted numbers and blocked since I had no interest in getting a response.

Thus far, no one has said a word to me about the whole thing.

My sister even said she was limiting her contact with my ex-friend and wasn't planning to invite her to anything in the near future. I told her she could handle her own relationship w/this person as she wanted but I'd chosen to cut ties.

Of all the people in the world I'd expect things like this from, she was the very last one. She was originally picked for this wedding because she was the sort who'd have told others not to ruin the bride's day; she wasn't the sort to ruin weddings & start problems.

Getting rid of this friendship felt like a ton of bricks was lifted off me. I don't care how long you've known someone: when a friendship feels exhausting and like you're carrying a 16 ton safe on your back, it's time to move on. Being in my life is a privilege; it's not a God given right (or a Satan given right for that matter). If my presence in your life is not a privilege, then you have no right to call me a friend.

Since my oldest friend in the world of over 20 years basically 180ed into a selfish bitch, I really can't expect anyone else to be a true friend to me. My expectations about people in general have shifted once again and I know I'll never have a close friendship again. No bother: I think that BFF bond was missing for a very long time.

I'll never have my own Sex & the City gang of female friends. I think it's a combination of not meeting females I can connect with on that level and me not being a person who wants to beg for acceptance like a puppy dog nipping at your ankles. I'm just not the type to force myself into someone's events or life. That's why I plan my own and show up alone.

At least I have my husband. Still not sure how or why we connected so easily since we're both wary of others & have viewed human interaction as exhausting at times. For some mysterious reason, neither of us has never been an intrusion to each other. Even in my worst "I hate everyone; I want to be alone" mood, his presence is a comfort to me just like my cat's.

These days, I just lack any type of expectation of people. So many have let me down or disappointed me in some way that I'm just not affected anymore when the inevitable rejection happens. This is why I can have contacts but I don't feel like I have true friends who'd really make that effort to help me if something bad happened. Having a career that keeps you busy also helps. If you're always busy, you have very little time to be lonely or mourn what you haven't got. When you get down to it, we're all alone anyway.

Am I emotionally damaged? Probably. I'm just not sure you can expect a person who lost their only childhood friend to believe that she could have future friendships as close or as deep. I don't believe I will so I'll just keep my more shallow interactions and avoid getting too attached. Heck, it's probably a miracle I'm not more screwed up and manage to function pretty well considering.

Reasonable or Another Example of Entitlement Behavior?

So I saw this Craig's List ad today:

Seeking part time attorney's position with daycare allowance (NYC)
Date: 2011-04-16, 2:09PM EDT
Reply to: job-mcxbf-2329006269@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I am a 33 year old married female attorney with a one year old daughter who would need to come with me to any office I work at. I had had this arrangement at my previous office however, my former boss passed away last year. She was not a bother and I took care of her myself throughout appearances and even during depositions!.....I would additionally request that any employer reading this ad keep an open mind and that things are not nearly as difficult as they may appear to be. I should know, I was living this scenario personally!

I have been admitted to the NYS bar for the past 8 years; have also been admitted to all Four District Courts, the 2nd Circuit and the United States Supreme Court. I have performed various levels of trial, and and covered numerous conferences on trips/slips and falls, auto accidents, construction accidents, medical malpractice, and the like. I have jury picked in 4 out of 5 boroughs, and have additionally performed several bench trials.

I can work from the most basic pleading complete through depositions, subpoenas and trial preparation. As I know this market is not this best, at a FULL time position I would request 60K but for approximately 40 hours a week I am herein requesting 50K. I have references and of course a CV upon any request! I am looking to work in the Manhattan/Bronx/Downtown Brooklyn/or LIC areas in particular.

SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY! AND PLEASE, NO RECRUITERS!

* Location: NYC
* Telecommuting is ok.
* This is a part-time job.
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2329006269

We're not simply talking about some payment for a maid or daycare center or time to drop a child off; this person is making demands to bring a 1 year old to the office. A few facts may need mention.

1. The legal field is notoriously unfriendly to small children. There are client meetings, court dates, depositions that are transcribed by people who are paid huge hourly amounts, etc. You have demanding bosses making you work very long hours. Part-time in law land is full-time everywhere else.

2. Many law offices are in buildings where other professionals have offices. Unless you are a very big, rich firm you will not have multiple floors or even one floor that is all yours.

3. If you are surrounded by other working people, there are inevitable noise complaints. Everyone is expected to keep noise to a minimum and screaming would be noticed.

See, where this seems a tad unrealistic & would rub me the wrong way as an employer? I don't know you. I don't know what type of parent you are or anything about your work ethic.

I presume this other boss may have worked with this woman for years and knew if she was capable of doing the job, how her parenting skills are, if she was a reliable worker, demanded childfree employees to accommodate her, etc.

Now I think it would be great if employers provided on-site daycare for employees or at least a space for this small kid that would not mean leaving her in the office during client meetings or expecting the whole office to play babysitter while this mother is in court. If she takes this baby to court, I have to wonder what the judge & court personnel say. Maybe this kid's a local celebrity but for all I know, it could piss off some judge who's trying to dispose of cases to hear a screaming baby in his/her courtroom. If there's anything you don't do, it's make a judge mad at you when you have to go before him/her in court.

But that's not the world we live in. Most law firms won't even give you flexibility in hours like the one I worked at where parents could leave at 4 so they could pick up their kids from school. My nephew is almost a year old & I can't see my sister demanding some employer to let her bring him to work. I've also never met a baby that was silent through a whole work day or never gets grumpy, cranky, bored, etc. without letting you know it by screaming bloody murder.

I say if you want to be a lawyer & bring your child to work, you should consider becoming a solo so you can work at home unless you can pay for a quality daycare center, leave your child with a babysitter or find a workplace that has an on-site daycare center. Little kids do not belong in an office setting (unless maybe your product is marketed to them & there are no confidentiality laws involved) and I think have more potential to be a hassle than a dog or a cat. Animals will at least kill insects, attack intruders, warn you of gas leaks and do other things little kids won't.

Not to mention how the child would feel. Grown ups wouldn't even want to be in a law office for 8 hours, forget 10 or 12 per day if they weren't getting paid for it. Doing it to a small child may as well be child abuse. Law offices don't have toys, games, books or other age appropriate fare for 1 year olds.

Oh, and fairness to co-workers anyone? Some of us don't want to be pestered about having kids or demanded to worship at the altar of your child. We also don't want to hear about the details of little Johnny's diaper mess or his feeding schedule. How does anyone know you aren't the type of mother childfree people hate (basically, those who expect everyone to fawn all over their kid or to get a metal of honor for breeding)? Not to mention seeing a baby brings out the evangelizing from parents to childfree women on the Church of Baby.

The co-workers probably won't get to say "I don't want that child here!" and get their wish. They could be forced to quit (or hostile work environment if they're being harangued daily about their breeding plans) and then the firm loses talented people who may have been there for years because of one person who can't be bothered with lining up daycare services.

Honestly, this ad just rubs me the wrong way as an employer & based on what I know about the legal field. I don't think most firms would accommodate this & I would never expect an office where no one knew me to do that for me.

Those looking for jobs: how would you feel if an employer told you after hiring you for a job that they had little kids in the office on a daily basis that you'd have to work around? I'd personally be pissed since I don't have kids for a reason & unless the child is related to me or I'm being paid for it, I'm not going to be a babysitter or take on motherly tasks. I would also wonder how much real work got done there & what the landlord, others working around the office, etc. thought of it. Based on this woman's demands, you can't help but wonder if she'd be the type of parent to foist child care duties onto co-workers.

Just goes back to the saying "You breed 'em, you feed 'em." Don't inflict your lifestyle choices on everyone else; be an adult & handle your own responsibilities.

See What I Mean By Entitlement?

I saw this Craig's List ad yesterday & have to share it:

trademark advice (Greenwich Village)
Date: 2011-02-15, 5:11PM EST
Reply to: gigs-8bfbj-2216427887@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I am starting a museum and need some trademark advice. if someone donate some help that would rock

thanks

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2216427887

You know I had to respond, right? Here's what I wrote:

This sounds an awful lot like an attempt to get free legal services. Guess what??? Lawyers cost MONEY & with good reason. Do YOU have to maintain licensing standards & pay dues to keep doing YOUR job?

If you want a freebie, I suggest looking this stuff up yourself or asking a friend instead of expecting random lawyers who see these ads to give a damn about you or your attempt to create a museum. We attorneys have our own problems & the last thing we care about is satisfying some lazy jerk with an entitlement complex.

If YOU wouldn't want to work for free, then don't ask others to do so.

That last sentence is a true life lesson: if you personally wouldn't do something for free, then don't ask someone else to give you a freebie. Especially a total stranger.

There are reasons why they don't have legal aid organizations for free legal advice in certain areas. Generally, lawyers aren't the most altruistic people. I include myself in that as well. We feel, for instance, that if you have enough money to have an estate then you have enough money to pay a lawyer to do a proper will & set up trust instruments.

Guess what? You do NOT need a free will if you have an estate that won't be swallowed up by debt when you die.

If I like you, I'll do a lot for you. But if I don't know you, I have no motivation to give you a freebie. Why don't I just demand YOU for one? I'd really like free computer help, an actor to work for free as my servant/admirer/significant other/security guard, etc. I'm sure I could offend you by asking for freebies & you didn't even have to maintain state licensing, incur six figure loan debt or abide by ethical rules to start & continue working in your trade.

Oh, and apparently many of the morons who post insulting ads on Craig's List delete their ads before I can give them the old tongue lashing or find my response absolutely hilarious. Someone needs to get some legal counsel badly with some of the ads I've seen or maybe some of these people realized "Hey, we can't get a college student to intern for us 40 hours a week!" I literally saw an ad for that today, no joke.

Attention unemployed lawyers: if you live in NYC, LA or someplace that has jobs in this section, go to the Craig's List creative/talent gigs sections as well as anything related to the entertainment industry. Once you see ads that show evidence of labor law violations (such as asking for photographs as a pre-condition to interviewing or having interns do things that are benefiting the business & not offering reimbursement for travel costs, using their own laptop, etc.), point it out to these folks & then mention you're a lawyer. You've just pointed out a serious problem they've got & how your services can remedy that.

If they are not grasping a clue (no one with any kind of in-house lawyer would ever post some of the ads I've seen in these sections), point out that they will eventually crash & burn with the obvious lack of legal counsel + the fact that any decent attorney costs a LOT of money.

You've got to be smart & think outside the box if you want to get anywhere in the legal field, or life for that matter. This is called "making your own future while having a little fun & performing a public service." Pointing out idiocy is an obligation we all have & I take that duty seriously as a professional attorney + all around loudmouth. Plus, if you can then why not?

Here's another instance of idiocy.

Personally, I side with this teacher. Since when did teaching become working for the CIA? She didn't name names or call out individual lazy students. And guess what? This woman works with high school students, so likely she knows what she's talking about.

My sister told me of one incident that happened at my nephew's school that she felt the teacher had no business having to apologize for. She even told the teacher as much & I was proud of her for not being another stereotypical self-indulgent, lazy, whiny parent who blames everyone but themselves for little Johnny's violent behavior or little Julie's materialism & whorish clothing.

The pathetic behavior of many breeders is a big reason I'm not the least bit motivated to have children. Good parents seem too few and far between but I'm happy to know quite a few who don't blame the media & teachers for everything wrong with their children. They know about something called PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY.

My husband could also tell you about some teenagers who are lazy & unmotivated. He tries to instill some common sense & not be a total jerk to them. He's managed to find some who give me hope for the future of this country.

If you ask me, teachers should be blogging about their experiences & could end up improving the education system where big money interests, school boards & people who've never spent time in a classroom have failed miserably. The 1st Amendment ramifications are also huge here since that will affect how future teachers get to do things. Me personally, if you wanted to further discourage me from being a teacher, stifling my 1st Amendment right to vent is certainly a way to do it. Bravo to this woman for speaking her mind & piss off clueless school district most likely staffed by overpaid administrators who continue to make the work of teachers even harder than it is already.

General Musings Part 9 & Why I Don't Follow Random Celebrities

Well, a few things have been going on. First off, no more comedy opportunity. I don't wish harm onto this person or ill will but if you think an attorney is doing anything without a writing, you must be insane. Especially if you have worked in the legal field yourself and KNOW how attorneys feel about it.

Not a big concern to me because I'll always find something to occupy myself. Now I have a story to mention & some links to share thoughts on.

First off, have you heard about the school administrators who are banning "I Love Boobies" bracelets? Apparently, these bracelets are from a company attempting to promote breast cancer awareness & encourage young people to care about it (especially young men since the heterosexuals don't care to wear pink). It's national news & I didn't save any links so feel free to look this one up on your own.

In my opinion, most school administrators are the stuffiest, most boring people on this Earth. They epitomize the cliche of the out of touch adult & never remember what it was like to be young themselves. You'd think these people popped out of the womb as stuffy 60 year olds.

I think their talents are wasted as school administrators; they need to be running prisons and working in the military. Perhaps be used to torture national enemies. Some politician should probably enlist a school administrator who behaves like this on his/her cabinet just to get people to bend to the politician's will. I've found the term "Little Hitler" to sum these people up to a T.

Let's also talk about the eggshell sensibilities of those daring to get offended by the term "boobies." I heard far worse language in public elementary school (lots of cursing) & this ban didn't happen in a religious private school or even in an elementary school; this is happening in a high school. HIGH SCHOOL, ladies and gentlemen!! Where sex and drinking run rampant for plenty of kids and the Internet will give you access to far nastier content than you'd ever see in the most inspired, creative professional porn film any professional film creator could hope to come up with. You people are a laugh riot; take these sensibilities to an Amish school or a fundamentalist Christian school. Otherwise, wake up and join us in 2010!

Or maybe you should tell us all what drugs you're taking since they apparently do a very good job of allowing you to block out reality. I'm sure others would like some.

Finally, Anthony Heald who played the assistant principal in Boston Public captured this asshole perfectly. I was reminded of the bitchy assistant principal in my high school who was just like this. Rational people hate little Hitlers. So I'm not shocked at school administrators being stupid but I am shocked at this ban in a public high school.

Now to links I'm shocked about.

Let's just call this what it is: employer greed. Maybe some of you fucktards seeking candidates should get the hint if you can't fill these positions; no one is willing to work for the same wage & do 100 extra things. Would you like to do that, especially if it's not YOUR company & your contribution won't mean shit to the people in charge? You'll simply get rewarded by being laid off or fired for not learning Cantonese fast enough while developing advanced computer programming skills, feeding the nation's poor out of your own pocket and studying for 3 states' bar exams.

Maybe, big shot employer, YOU need to re-evaluate compensation schemes or prepare for a massive revolt where people harm YOUR secure spaces and any security you hire turns against you for ripping them and others off. I'm rooting for that revolt; if I had to face that stuff head on like the average laid off person who's no longer qualified for their old job, I'd probably be trying to organize it.

Who the hell do you think you are to think the laws of economics don't apply to you? We should start trimming CEO pay if the CEO isn't willing to do all this since if you're going to demand people to wear 1,000 hats, it's only fair that you do the same if you haven't already been doing it.

This just scares me. I also find it incredibly tacky. It's the ultimate white trash thing to do. I may have had a smaller, cheaper wedding but I insisted on tastefulness & not going to a reception at any location that has peanut shells on the floor. My sister might get a laugh from it, though. Can you imagine your wedding photos?

At least if you're going to joke about the whole institution, try an abandoned shack or something a little more creative + artistic than a McDonalds. Why not just get the McDonald's logo tattooed on your butt while you're at it?

I heavily disagree that being an attorney is worth the stress. The wage information is also total bunk, inflated for those working in the mega-firms. Those with jobs far below six figures can vouch for me on that. I'd also hate just doing attorney stuff; that would kill me. I just see being an attorney as something extra I bring to the table, not my life's work.

Oh, and Bob Saget apparently posted footage online with an annoying brat on a six hour plane flight.

I wondered initially how many people probably pestered him with "It's Danny Tanner! Can I get an autograph?" Then, I was almost compelled to break my "no following famous people I don't know" rule. Almost, though.

So, why won't The Angry Redheaded Lawyer follow famous people if she doesn't know them & they didn't follow her first? Here goes:

* The famous person might well be an asshole. I hate assholes & will not be shy about telling anyone off. God help you if you piss off an entertainment lawyer. You can also ask about this one. You won't find sucking up w/me & expecting me to give a shit when you didn't earn it will just elicit a good old fashioned NYer response.

* I'm not a "fan" of anyone. I'm not going to root in the garbage, pay a bunch of money for things or generally debase myself for anyone. You'll find that I maintain a sense of decorum and can act normally around anyone. If you think otherwise, you can arrange a $ bet on that but you'd better have a chance of making that meeting happen if you want to see action. I'll expect your payment if you see me acting normally.

No one is special to me b/c of being famous. If I hear you're an asshole, I'll likely ask about it. I don't like anyone unless I get to know them personally & make that judgment for myself; there are plenty of people I can't stand who did one or two things I like or share an opinion I agree with. Don't lump me into the "fan" category unless you know me by name or at least could remember me as "that redhead who's a lawyer."

* I don't like intruding on people. I don't want people intruding on me. Do unto others, you know?

* I don't want to be thought of as some gate crashing wannabe trying to use anyone to get ahead in life. Help because you want to, not because I asked.

* I generally expect people to be nasty to me & I remember slights as well as anyone else in the business. So why go out & experience the nastiness that I already figure will happen? Argue self-fulfilling prophecy all you want but I'm more shocked when someone does something nice for me than when they do something shitty.

* Finally, it's a vouching thing. If people I know had good conversation or weren't treated like crap by the famous person, I'll be more likely to take notice & care. If you've met some of these people, that means you'll eventually be dealing w/me on some level so I'm a business colleague & not "some fan."

I think that's fair. What about you?

Censoring Video Games & the Pro-Baby Agenda

I just saw this today & it completely disgusts me that California is spending money appealing this to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Obviously, there are morons who never see those little ratings on the front. What do you think the "E", "E 10+", "T", "M" & so forth are on there for??? Cute little letters?

As someone in the industry, it doesn't take a genius to figure out where I stand on this. Even my own mother, a religious Republican, doesn't believe in censorship & thinks parents need to stop blaming everyone else for their children's misdeeds.

Do not cry to me about how many hours you work, how tired you are at the end of the day, etc. I know single parents who managed to raise kids who didn't become drug addicts, sleep with everyone in sight, shoot people, or whatever "parent nightmare" you can come up with. And do not let your ignorance of the Internet or text messaging be an excuse for YOUR child to create racy profiles & become a target for perverts. You won't find sympathy in this corner and I have a number of friends with children. They would never advocate mass censorship to protect their "little darlings." They'd simply change the channel, not buy the $50-60 video game, not put Internet access in their rooms.

In other words, they'd be a damn parent. It's not the industry's job to cater to your children or create wholesome programming. If a channel or company wants to create wholesome programming, more power to them. They should be able to get some fans. I myself have no problem with wholesome programming if it's not reinforcing all the bad stuff in society or a status quo that shouldn't be in place. For that matter, I don't like ANY programming reinforcing the bad stuff in society or preserving a terrible status quo.

Take a recent movie I keep seeing posters for: Life As We Know It. After seeing the trailer when I went to the movies a while back, the whole idea of that film still bothers me. What is it with all these films encouraging childfree people to breed or have children and never showing unhappiness in them? Why is it that all these films forecast some happy, shiny scene that rational people know wouldn't happen? The male and female lead don't even like each other, but are thrust together to care for a baby.

In real life, a kid thrust in that situation would catch on that (s)he wasn't wanted or the childfree parent resents him/her. Kids are not stupid. Oh, and here's a newsflash: most men don't want to raise other people's kids. Go ask single mothers what dating is like for them and how many men stick by them when they mention their kids.

It also makes anyone who doesn't want to have kids look like some potential convert to the Church of Baby. Guess what? You aren't and weren't childfree if you could be converted.

Oh, and let's not forget that this pisses me off as a feminist. It just reinforces the whole idea that women should just be barefoot and pregnant but can have a little goof off job that never leads anywhere or will be ditched to accommodate the "family." It diminishes any woman who is serious about her career and doesn't want to be thought of as some slacker who'll just leave to get pregnant.

Now what if I went around saying we should censor these films since they harm young girls? I'd be acting to "protect the little children" but wouldn't I just be infringing on the rights of anyone who DID want to see them? Though if you want to see utter pablum, I feel sorry for you. However, I can exercise my right not to watch it. I can choose not to participate in creating a film I find offensive to my feminist sensibilities. I can also create my own content that is realistic, features a good story and counteracts this garbage.

But... I won't try to get the garbage taken off the air since I'm not the world's Mommy and normal people accept that they will not like everything that comes out of the entertainment world. Thankfully, I don't know anyone that ballsy or stupid.

Sociopaths or Just Like You & Me??

I was watching that new A&E show Aftermath yesterday. The episode was about none other than Bernie Goetz. If you don't know who he is, this Wikipedia link will get you up to speed.

Now, after watching this show I heard about this today.

Apparently, this driver shot up his workplace after being asked to resign for stealing beer. Here's the twist, though. According to people close to this guy, he shot people who were being racist against him & apparently "had complained of racial harassment and said he found a picture of a noose and a racial epithet written on a bathroom wall". But as we all know, there's one side to a story, the other side & the truth is somewhere in between.

My thoughts: I'm 100% in favor of not letting anyone push you around regardless of their race, gender, age, etc. I don't support racism & I don't support targeting people who did nothing to you or your loved ones (spouses, children, siblings, parents, etc.).

When someone bullies another person, uses racial harassment or tries to do something wrong, then I 100% agree w/the comment Bernie Goetz made yesterday on that program about those people injuring themselves. He said that he didn't feel anything for the people he shot since they'd been trying to hurt him & he simply fought back.

Now while I think it's downright stupid to assume that race, gender, whatever is a factor in who's going to harm you (no one is "safe"), I do agree w/that basic point. It's karma coming to bite you in the ass.

I think that people who say shooting bullies & people trying to hurt or harm you in some way is never justified are the people who have never been bullied, robbed or threatened. It's especially patronizing to make remarks like that when you're talking about someone who's been bullied over long periods of time. That's eventually going to make a victim snap; look at what happened to John Wayne Bobbit after he went around abusing his wife. God knows if I didn't have goals or a decent future ahead of me, I'd certainly consider doing the same things. I'd certainly fight back if someone messed with me.

Perhaps some of them are bullies themselves; I really wouldn't shed tears for someone who got what was coming to him/her but might feel bad for any kids these people had since they wouldn't really be able to reform the person or tell them not to bully others. Not to mention the quality of parenting they'd be forced to deal with.

I have to wonder how many people in society would do just what Bernie Goetz did if they were in that situation. Or how many would shoot up supervisors and co-workers at a job if they were being tossed out like garbage or getting harassed or somehow being oppressed or abused in the workplace? I'm not talking about the CT story now but of cases where these things did happen. If you think it doesn't, then I'd like to know if you're offering apartments for rent in that perfect bubble you live in.

Bernie Goetz also has a pet squirrel so he kind of reminds me of my husband, who'd like a pet squirrel but has a large cat who would be displeased & probably eat it. I tell you, I'd vote for that guy over some fat cat like Bloomberg in a second. If he's not from a rich family or catering to some scummy PAC or lobbyist, even better. Believer of common sense? Then what can I do to help?

One nagging question that still kills me: Do you ever notice that every single news story on these shootings is about someone who's considered a "loner"? Someone who's not getting along with the majority of society & generally marches to his/her own drummer. Why are there never stories about murderers who have lots of friends & are considered part of the Shiny Happy People Club??? Well, except for Ted Bundy.

It also makes me wonder whether everyone thinks I and/or my husband will go on a shooting rampage since we're not exactly in the Shiny Happy People Club & we have friends who'd fit the descriptions of some of these people. Even WE fit a lot of these descriptions: quiet, keeping to yourself, not letting others push you around, being thought of as strange/weird. Part of that helps me to be heard when I've got something to say.

Apparently one sign of being a sociopath is having more affection for animals than people. Well, if that's true I & many others that I know fit that category. At least animals are consistent; they don't pretend to like you or play mind games. Looking at the collective & not individual people, I definitely relate better to cats than people as a whole. Why wouldn't I? My track record with cats on the whole is far better than my track record with people.

I wouldn't say I'd never go on a shooting spree or have no sociopathic tendencies at all (after all, I'm not a licensed psychologist) but I think far more of us are capable of it than society wants you to think. This is why smart people don't go around starting problems & being bullies to others. You do that stuff at your own peril. I might not get you but that doesn't mean someone (or even something) else won't. Life can mess you up in ways that people only wish they could.

One last thought: is it just me or is "oppositional defiance disorder" just fancy speak for being a brat? I heard of this particular diagnosis on an episode of Forensic Files last night concerning a teenager & maybe I'm clueless on how exactly one would get this diagnosis but that's what this sounds like to me. Couldn't every teenager on Earth claim to have this to get away with everything??? I'll save that rant for later.

Where Do You Draw the Line Between Accommodation & Being a Wimp?

This article really got me thinking about that question.

Remember the outcry over airplane seats? Now, as a smaller person I don't appreciate some obese person taking up 1/2 my seat or someone leaning back to sit in my lap on a plane or train. I was ready to get into a fight w/this bitch sitting in front of me on AmTrak for doing that. I politely mention about not being able to see my player w/her having the seat so far back & she decides to get in my face about her rights to recline her seat. This other woman, who spent much of the trip railing about how pathetic the government is when trains in other countries wouldn't be sitting in the middle of nowhere for an hour mentions to her that it's part of common courtesy not to recline all the way back into people's laps.

At that point, we were delayed by about 2 hours & having DVDs to watch was the only thing keeping me sane. Thankfully, this other lady came over & moved up bitch's seat so I could at least move the connecting cords for my player & the cell phone charger of my seat mate. I did comment that bitch would be paying me if any of those cords got messed up b/c of that; don't think for a second I wouldn't have gotten into a fist fight over it. If you didn't know anything else about me, I think it's pretty clear that I don't take shit off other people & if you make me mad, you'd better watch out. One time someone tried getting into a confrontation w/me & the receptionist on the floor where I worked said she'd put her money on me winning that altercation.

In short, don't mess w/people who have anger issues; I don't care what they look like or how much bigger you are. I believe that if you trigger the right emotional buttons, anyone can be a force to be reckoned with; that's why a smart person never starts trouble w/people & doesn't do things that beg karma to screw them in some way.

And, nope this bitch was NOT obese. She'd been sitting with her seat more upright ever since she'd been on the train (possibly since we'd left NYC 11-13 hours before).

So, where do we draw the line? When do we stop worrying about making fat people feel bad & start considering safety, the rights of people who aren't fat, etc.? Being fat is not the same as being a racial minority or even being gay. Yes, to me you don't choose to be gay since why would you choose to risk your life & be ostracized by certain areas of society? It's certainly not all religious people since I've known plenty who don't shun their gay friends & accept their homosexuality for what it is.

Anyway, you can choose to lose weight. I have to side w/the people who created the ride on this one; why should society be accommodating to a condition that could be changed? I know not every single overweight person in this country has a medical condition; at least the people I know who have extra weight have some self-awareness & don't expect the entire world to bow down to them b/c of it.

And yes, you could change skin color or make yourself look different but exercise & better eating habits are far cheaper than skin bleaching and plastic surgery. There are very few risks to either of those & you'd be doing something to help yourself as opposed to someone becoming as scary looking as Michael Jackson did later on.

I'm also 100% in favor of improving public transit & making places more pedestrian friendly. This should have been done over 10 years ago but that's another rant.

It's not even just certain fat people who have this entitlement problem. People who breed & refuse to watch their kids are also an issue. As far as I'm concerned, they deserve to be a target of scorn & hatred; they SHOULD get offended considering they offend me, parents & anyone who doesn't want to see children get kidnapped or injured b/c of parental neglect, total stupidity or whatever common sense deficiency their sperm/egg donor has (b/c you aren't a parent unless you actually take care of your kids).

Finally, being PC is the least of my concerns, especially in my own rant blog. Don't like it, get your own rant blog.

Extreme Actions Over Piddling BS

I was half watching the new episode of The Simpsons last night & it triggered a rant that's been on my mind for a while but I haven't entirely expressed yet. That would be extreme actions over piddling issues.

In this episode, a girl basically plays up to the worst stereotypes about females & after claiming to like him, gets kissed by Bart. After she engages in one of many mind changes on this issue, her parents get attorneys who come to the school & go to the principal w/lawyers as well as practically demand Bart to roll naked in hot coals to atone for his "sin."

Let me just say these words: GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!!!!!!!

A) Most elementary school kids don't even know what sexual harassment IS. I'm pretty sure if you went to my 6 year old nephew on this, he wouldn't have a clue.

B) A boy kissed me one day at recess when I was in 2nd grade. I didn't actually tell anyone but if my parents had run to a lawyer's office, I would have thought they were morons & they'd have made me a bigger target for torment than I already was (I was a VERY intelligent child).

C) Girls acting like this child on The Simpsons are setting themselves up to be future rape victims in my book. I don't abide by the "tease" and have NEVER done that to a guy. If I want to do anything romantic w/you, you'll know it. If I don't, you won't see me running around acting to the contrary.

If anyone ever dared to try that with my sweet, intelligent & cute as a button 6 year old nephew (and for that matter, if it happened to my soon to be born nephew), I would call the offending child's parents exactly what they are: total & complete morons who need to attend a child psychology course ASAP b/c they are too stupid to breed. I would say that as a lawyer, I find them morally reprehensible & that they need to have their children taken away so their daughters won't grow up to become rape victims.

The other major gripe I have here is the arrest of a 16 year old for making the announcement at the NJ Wal-Mart that "all black people should leave the store." Yes, it's tacky & stupid but ARRESTING this kid?!?!?!?!? Don't we have more serious criminals to pursue? Shouldn't we be arresting illegals who harm people or serial killers, child molesters & other criminals who are far higher on the food chain than some stupid teenager.

Here's a cheaper solution: just put this kid in the middle of some black neighborhood. If this child is indeed a bigot, then vigilante justice can save everyone the time, manpower & resources the cops could use to deal with bigger problems. Perhaps government corruption, for starters. Personally, I think maybe this kid was engaging in a stupid prank & that Wal-Mart should have been more careful in where it placed access to its PA system.

If it were me, I'd just call for the stupid people to leave. I loathe morons & can't help but take joy in some of the demises on 1,000 Ways to Die since it's simple Darwinism come to life. You don't want to eat during that show & I've turned away from the TV plenty of times b/c some of the deaths are creepy but if you're dumb enough to do some of that stuff, you deserve what you get. Enough said.

Children in Bars

My husband was telling me about comments on this issue yesterday but I hadn't seen it until I did a web search. Apparently, this is what happens in Park Slope.

I'm not big on hipsters to begin with. What I mean by "hipster" is "artist living off a trust fund & behaving as a poser instead of a TRUE artist." Someone who has no originality, blindly follows trends & walks around w/an attitude of entitlement: that's my definition of a hipster.

But worse than a hipster is the "hipster breeder." This means someone who has children & refuses to behave like a decent parent. Taking kids into bars (as opposed to TGIFridays, Chili's or some place that's more of a family restaurant) is disgusting. I think someone who does it should be called out & have CPS investigate them.

Guess what? You get ONE or the OTHER. You can be a single person & go to bars or you can be a parent & raise kids. When you become a parent, it's not appropriate to take your kids to bars, do drugs or expose them to adult activity. Do you also let them watch you have sex??? Light up joints? My sister knows parents who have done drugs while their young kids were asleep in the SAME house & no sober adults were around. How responsible is that???

Part of my disgust comes from the fact that my father's a practicing alcoholic & smoked a fair amount of pot in my late high school/college years. As in, walking into the house and being hit with a cascade of pot odor. Didn't exactly like growing up to see my father get drunk & throw things at us. It's not much fun to have someone embarrass you all the time & having it limit your outside interactions with people for fear they won't talk to you if they know the truth.

When a parent gets so drunk they can't take you to things you were looking forward to or you fear people you know seeing that parent intoxicated somewhere in town, it makes you less enthused about exposing children to drinking.

If you want to be a parent, then be a PARENT. Don't be stuck in your single days.

At least being married, I can go out with my husband and we can speak as adults. If we want to make out or curse, we don't need or want some ignorant entitlemoo (to borrow a childfree term) telling us to shield her little precious from adult content in an adult space. Burn in hell!! No parent I know of would even THINK of taking their kid into a bar. I wouldn't even take a kid to the Comedy Cellar or some of the UCB Theater shows. I would be just as disgusted seeing a kid in a dance club considering the type of dancing that goes on.

I know what raising a kid properly entails & that's why I refuse to do it. I won't give up my career or the fun aspects of my marriage for one; if you'd resent a kid for cramping your style, it means you shouldn't have one. Get it?