Friday, September 3, 2010

Short Comments on 2 Articles w/a Serious Rant at the End

Not enough for general musings but I have a couple points on 2 articles then a big time rant.

Apparently, a 21 year old guy got away w/pretending to be a 13 year old & was so good at it he was playing football in a league team for that age group. This guy's apparently a professional con artist or something & now all these people are enraged.

I might feel differently if my child were on this team but I'm more bemused at hearing this story. I think some manager ought to hire him for acting. Casting for children can be hellish & if someone can look that young w/out having to have the special rules, I'd think lots of companies would go for it. Heck, if he's that good he ought to be nominated for an Oscar.

And more utter stupidity.

Now I have no personal hatred against Texas. Many of your residents read this blog & it can't be just the liberal portion since I'm not a liberal per se. Notwithstanding the fact that someone I violently dislike but have never met currently lives there (you wouldn't like this person either), I don't really have a personal beef here.

But...just because you don't like gay marriage or find it immoral doesn't mean you should not allow gay couples to get divorced. It causes a million more problems to make a marriage impossible to get out of if you don't allow divorce to happen. In fact, the right to gay divorce is probably even more important than the right to marriage. Look at how many straight people get divorced. You have to have both or people start using serial killers as an excuse to "accidentally" kill a spouse they no longer want to be married to. Plus, like it or not, gay marriage being legal under government law is inevitable. Many states already allow it.

Even if you don't allow it in your state, Judge, you don't need to create legal nightmares that lawyers will strangle you on sight for causing. Don't you have enough problems w/crazy heterosexual ex-spouses in your courtroom? I would think judges wouldn't go creating more problems in the legal system than we already have. Are you now demanding gay couples to move to some state that allows it for months before they can get divorced b/c that is the result of such an immature & short-sighted ruling.

Finally, this just pissed me off.

Having worked someplace where sexual harassment took place, I have a real problem w/using the term "flirting" when we're talking about the workplace. This woman is telling people that it's perfectly acceptable for women to flirt to get ahead in work: the freaking article is called Flirting Your Way to the Corner Office.

So what are my fundamental beefs w/this idea. Where to begin?

1. I'm married. Now I'm a nice person & I appreciate compliments from time to time. You don't have to worry about me filing a lawsuit because you complimented my hair or my outfit. I'm also quite the humor fiend & can dish out the clever retorts when needed. It's difficult to make me truly uncomfortable.

However...I'm not going to lie to you about being married & how important my spouse is to me. You can have a conversation with me, I can give you advice, we can have a friendship at work & be on good terms. If you think my agreeing with something you say or helping you with a problem means I'm interested in you sexually, think again. We all need friends and allies in the world.

2. The whole concept of "flirting": in my mind, flirting is when you pretend to be sexually attracted to someone when you aren't. I don't think calling someone attractive or saying you'd date them if you were single is really flirting if you mean it. I never say something if I don't mean it. So I'm not a fan of the concept to begin with.

I think you start crossing the line when you write checks your butt can't cover. I was never what we'd call a tease when I dated.

For instance, I'd never give a guy a blow job if I had no intention of sleeping w/him. Now maybe we'd worked it out ahead of time but you'd never see me initiate that & then say "Oh, no I won't have intercourse with you!" I always told guys ahead of time what my intentions were & what I was comfortable with.

I also think flirting is a form of lying. I'm not about to let someone think they're eligible for something that's not on the table. One of my exes actually told me once that I couldn't flirt if my life depended on it. He said I tried but failed. This is probably true. Flirting is one of those things I'm probably too honest to do.

3. The feminist point: earn your own damn way. It would make me feel sleazy to use sex of any type to get ahead. I wouldn't take someone seriously for doing that & I know I'd judge harshly on it. Any common person can rub up on someone; it takes real skill to prove your worth honestly. You won't get my respect or a lot of people's if you try to earn it with sex.

4. Don't attractive people have enough problems already? Must you encourage further stereotypes to make it harder for people like me who don't do these things? I don't want to walk in someplace to have people think I didn't earn it honestly or that I'm going to sleep with them. I'm not Karrine Stephans, thank you very much. Like there isn't enough sleaze in certain fields already. How about we not encourage that shit???

If this was about being friendly, that's one thing. You can find common ground if you look for it. Don't lie about stuff & you won't have to worry about someone misinterpreting you. That clear enough? I'd also be pissed about someone in the workplace doing that & it would make me want to demote the person. Grown ups don't have to flirt.

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