Thursday, September 9, 2010

Why Would Your Enemies Say They Dislike You?

That's a question I was pondering today while I was on the subway to 125th St. Yes, I was in Harlem. No, I'm not some elitist crybaby who fears minorities. In fact, some of the people who have been better to me than anyone else were people of color. Due to my circumstances & where I lived, this was mostly black people.

I've never been the sort to fit into any group or association, even among other outcasts. I dated a guy who fancied himself goth/punk but I was an outsider there. I was an outsider among other smart kids, I still think I'm an outsider among other lawyers & apparently, I'm an outsider among female nerds.

These sorts of things happen when you've got a pretty face, a brain and a twisted point of view.

I was talking to the head of this blog about "girly nerds" & this person committed a major faux pas that you don't commit w/me. She lied about her willingness to work w/me. Her initial e-mail claimed to like the writing sample I submitted & that she wanted to do a "getting to know you" phone call as opposed to a "job interview" situation. So, we have this phone call & I'm told I'll hear something back soon.

Weeks later, I hear nothing. Last week, I send a follow up e-mail. I mean to make a call earlier this week but Labor Day happened. So yesterday, it occurs to me that I need to follow up so I know for sure what's going on. After all, I'm starting a gig next Tuesday that's going to take up some time & pay me money while this opportunity might not.

She apologizes for not responding sooner & I have to point blank ask what's going on. I'm told a completely different story about my writing than I was told in this e-mail. When I point out the inconsistency, she tries to stick to her new view. I tell her that I could send her the e-mail she sent me & that I don't like wasting my time doing stuff if it won't be productive. She has the nerve to try arguing so I hang up. When you know someone's being an ass & you've said your piece, it's time to hang up before you tell them to fuck off. I also like getting the last word.

At least she didn't try telling me I'm a bad writer. There are some things I've done enough of & heard enough feedback from credible sources who know what they're talking about that you can't convince me that I can't do them. This would include anything creative that I do & you just look like an ass if you think I'm going to fall for it.

I think most people are pissed off when they can't shove you into a neat little box. I think it must drive tons of people crazy that I don't fall lock-step into one category or one camp. That I don't flash the common signs or go along w/the group if I disagree with something. If I have a problem with someone or something, you'd better believe I'll speak up.

To answer my own question, I think my enemies hate that I don't settle for bullshit along with the fact that I don't fit neatly into some prescribed little box. I think the same people also hate that I don't give a damn about that; I have too much self-respect to worry about the opinions of people who could care less if I live or die. Or at a minimum, people who don't care about my happiness.

Bad business etiquette is stupid to engage in. If I eventually snap & kill people, guess who's going on the list??? No, it wouldn't quite be a real life Serial Mom even though I'm picky about basic etiquette (and I'm not a mom). I'm from the "treat others as you'd want to be treated" camp. And you'd better believe that I have no hesitation in telling you off if you behave like a dick to me; people working w/me have already been warned & use me strategically b/c of this.

One plus to being a lawyer is you can get away with being tough & not taking crap off others since it's part of the persona.

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