Ideally, I'd love some people to be punched so hard even plastic surgery won't get them back to their former glory. For one thing, I suspect some retaliation going on with Verizon because of me complaining about shoddy service. Magically, on a sunny day, my landline goes out & Internet gets buggy.
I speak to my contact in the Executive Customer Service Center about this & how I suspect it's retaliation (especially considering a Verizon truck was spotted working on equipment in our area, then vanishes & problems result). Gee, what would YOU conclude with all this & my prior experiences? I also called up my local city councilperson's office quite angry yesterday.
Based on the attitude I got in my Senate person's office, I'll be making certain not to vote for Michael Gianaris when he's up for re-election. My e-mail inquiring on his stance toward indie film companies didn't go through (since in his newsletter sent to my home some time back, there's this big story about how he's helping the entertainment industry in NYC) so I have to wonder if he, like Bloomberg, thinks only rich companies & people have rights. I wouldn't be shocked if the answer was "yes." I think most politicians are drastically overpaid & there's certainly enough evidence of it that I don't have to link salary listings for you. A lot of them have also forgotten just who they work for. The Occupy protests are shining examples of this.
But, onto those specific people I think should be punched (alongside corporate assholes, rude folk & people claiming the protestors should stop protesting & "get jobs" while suppressing the right to protest). More interesting & appalling Craig's List ads ahead.
Video editing and production intern (Chelsea)
Date: 2011-08-15, 8:07PM EDT
Reply to: job-37ued-2548830833@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Video production company seeking a talented intern with an interest in editing, production and marketing for video. Approx. 2-3 days/wk. Please apply if you are able to commit at least 15 hours/wk (up to 25/wk). Internship will be split between editing, production, marketing and clerical.
Ideal candidate will have above average written and verbal communication skills and be comfortable with speaking to clients and vendors on the phone and in person.
- Should be reliable, punctual and organized
- Candidates should have their own MAC laptops
- Candidates with experience in editing and who are working toward becoming editors are preferred. Please note your skill level in Final Cut Pro, After Effects and Photoshop.
Duties would include organizing office, scheduling editing sessions and crews, assisting on video shoots, making phone calls, media logging and transferring, preparing footage for editing, editing small video projects, assisting on large editing projects and crafting emails.
Please reply to this posting with a resume, brief cover letter describing your goals and experience and provide any video samples. Include your contact info in email body. Again, please only apply if you are able to commit at least 15 hours/wk (up to 25/wk). We will be contacting people ASAP.
My problems with this ad are A) attempts to exploit experienced people by making them work as interns (my company, for the record, has never done this & has more respect for people than that), B) zero reimbursement for using personal equipment or travel (which is scuzzy if you ask me) & C) asking for 25 hours a week. The average day job is 40 hours a week & these days, most ask for more. Plus, for 3 days at 25 hours: that's a shift at a full time job (8 hours).
This strikes me as illegal under federal & state labor law. Seeing such ads tells me "I don't have a lawyer either in-house or outside my company. I'm a moron & will not go anywhere."
But it does get worse.
Film Finance Company Seeks Full Time Intern (Flatiron)
Date: 2011-08-15, 6:33PM EDT
Reply to: job-sz5q4-2548670456@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
A New York City-based film finance company is looking for a full time office intern with exceptional communication and organizational skills. The individual should be interested in film finance but also have experience working in an office or as a personal assistant. Tasks will include a full range of administrative duties as well as script coverage and creative work. The internship will start unpaid with the potential for compensation in time and all the perks of working for a film company. Position requires 4-5 days work a week, starts immediately in New York City.
Interested candidates should reply to this ad with a resume and cover letter listing all relevant experience.
Compensation: unpaid with potential for future pay
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 2548670456
Totally ILLEGAL to have a "full time intern." And why the hell would anyone work full time for no pay? Even a millionaire would want some type of return on their free labor & certainly would want that. This is sick & insulting.
Furthering the insulting & illegal internships category is this gem.
Ent. Writers Needed Established NYC Entertainment Group! (Chelsea)
Date: 2011-08-16, 2:40AM EDT
Reply to: job-rwhqf-2549244904@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Are you interested in pursuing a career in entertainment, specifically in the field of writing? Is your writing ability one to brag about? Does your style and passion separate you from the rest?
Come intern with us!
We are a rapidly expanding entertainment group with offices in Chelsea that has worked with well-known clients and brands like Mos Def, SummerStage, John Legend, Ciara, Rihanna, MTV, BET, Heineken, Bacardi, Miramax, and America's Next Top Model.
This fall we will be working on a slew of exciting projects which include producing a feature-length film, producing a citywide music festival, launching a network of entertainment-based blogs, and overseeing the music careers of several popular music artists, producers, and songwriters.
WRITING INTERNS must have eloquent writing skills, and an extended background in some sort of journal, poetry, essay and/or creative writing. Each intern must also have wealth of interest and knowledge in the music, film, and/or fashion worlds.
Furthermore, ALL INTERNS must be creative, willing to think outside of the box, reliable, motivated, problem solvers, out-going, and detail oriented with the ability to be a team player or a self-starter. Computer, oral and written communication, and people skills are a must.
This is a very BIG opportunity for all who apply so please, ONLY SERIOUS INQURIES!
Do you have what it takes to join our team?
If so, please send a brief email explaining why we should bring you on board!
Email us all of the following:
● Full Name
● Email Address
● Phone Number
● A brief introduction to who you are, what you are currently involved with, like school or personal projects, and what you think you can bring to our company
● Links to your Facebook account and any website(s) that you have.
If you are interested email us back immediately.
If we feel that you have what it takes, we will be in touch to schedule an interview.
The internship is a 4-month long internship with lots of room for growth.
We look forward to hearing from you!
Wow, go fuck yourself. First off, when someone's got experience at something they aren't a damn intern!!! They are a professional & should be compensated according to market rates.
Second, if your company has worked with big name clients (and this goes for all you name droppers) then chances are you've got the means to pay a professional what (s)he is worth. If you do not, you need to carefully evaluate what kind of opportunity working with you is going to give someone & how much you can realistically ask of someone working for free.
I'd wager a lot of money that most of these people promising paid employment at some future date aren't proving written internship agreements or putting that little promise in writing. If you take an internship with someone who makes this empty promise & doesn't back it up in writing, you've now been warned.
Rule of life, I suppose: if a person promises something but won't memorialize it in writing, it means they are full of crap & going to scam you sooner or later.
Finally, you expect unpaid interns to provide links to social media websites? I can understand asking to see a writing portfolio but what I look like has zero to do with writing. Asking for this stuff is nothing but a big judge fest, in my book.
This is an employer's attempt to find something they don't like about someone so they can reject them. Whether it's a legally protected category like race, age, religion, etc. or something like who you voted for in the last election or how you feel about a controversial topic like abortion, gun rights, the Occupy protests, the death penalty or even if you think Casey Anthony got away with murder, I as an employer would not want to see someone's Facebook pages. It's one thing for an employer to Google you & find things that way (which I also take issue with but you can read further back for my stance on that issue) but if you're making your Facebook page private, not friending everyone in sight & taking precautions so an employer couldn't find it on his/her own in a Google search, you've got every right to say "Hell no! I'm not giving you that as a condition to interviewing me."
I would NEVER in a trillion years give someone access to MY Facebook page if they were considering me for a job or an employer. Nor would I friend any co-worker from a job where I could get fired for being myself. Unless you make express, written agreement to let me be me on my own pages, you don't get to be my Facebook friend. End of story, case closed.
Employers need to stop acting like their staff's mommies & daddies. It's a big reason I'm not in favor of working for corporations or large businesses.
And, last I checked, NONE of you corporate executives or heads of big businesses were saints!!! Don't pretend that you are; even the Bible says "Judge not lest ye be judged also." I certainly never claimed I was & wouldn't expect employees to be moral paragons either.
Now, another dick expecting free professional writing services:
Writer intern for Universal Records (Midtown East)
Date: 2011-11-08, 7:20AM EST
Reply to: gigs-jm5qn-2691243569@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
I run an indie label with distribution though Universal Music Group. We are currently looking for writers with expertise in writing business letters, proposals and press releases. This job could lead to a future paid position. Please note: you must own a lap top and live in NYC. If interested please forward your resume and contact info.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay
PostingID: 2691243569
I responded to this one earlier but apparently the ad is no longer active, which I think is awesome.
Do you know that it's illegal to require interns to have ANY previous experience? You ad says you're "currently looking for writers with expertise in writing business letters, proposals and press releases." It's also insulting to call a professional writer an "intern." Tell me, how does that benefit a professional in ANY way, shape or form? It doesn't! It's a step backwards!
And I see no mention of reimbursing anyone for the use of their PERSONAL laptop for YOUR company's work. Nor do I see a travel requirement but I have a feeling if there is one, you'd presume some professional writer who gets paid to write is going to fall all over himself/herself to PAY to do YOUR work via transit costs. Metrocards aren't cheap! $4.50 round trip adds up & some of us don't make enough in a month to justify a $104 monthly pass EVERY SINGLE MONTH.
I'm also willing to bet a million dollars you expect this professional writing "intern" to put YOUR work ahead of any paid assignments or day jobs outside the field, thinking people's landlords, utility companies & the like will be fine accepting exposure and a smile instead of money for a place to live, food, power, etc.
Why don't you just call this what it is: an attempt to exploit a professional writer for your personal gain. Do YOU like to work for free? What if I offered YOU a job where you wouldn't get paid, called you MY intern, used YOUR expertise for free & then made you pay to travel to my office as well as use your personal resources for MY sole gain? I'd expect you'd tell me to fuck off.
How about opening your wallet & PAYING a professional for their quality + expertise instead of expecting a stranger to jump at the chance of being your "intern?" Or go ask a friend to do your freebies. As a professional writer who gets PAID for her services + an attorney/business owner, you need to get some empathy & some rational thinking skills. Otherwise, people will regularly tell you to fuck off & rightly so.
Craig's List isn't a networking group or your personal slave directory.
Don't forget that either. It ISN'T. Man, I want some people to be arrested in a criminal court for this sort of thing!
I've been getting paid to write, thank you. I don't perform free writing unless it's for my own projects like this blog or work with my own company or for my own performances where I have full creative control. Get the picture?
Not my problem that you can't write or aren't an attorney. Nor is it your problem that I have no mechanical skills or ability to fix a computer, lift heavy objects, etc.
This guy, oh he should be killed. That's all:
Personal Female Assistant
Date: 2011-11-01, 8:42PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-mycuu-2680593923@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Business man seeks attractive female assistant for lunch time and/or after hours stress relieving rendezvous. Hand job required. Send photos and state what you are willing to do for a prompt reply. Pays up to $1000 per week.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $1000 per week
PostingID: 2680593923
Hire a hooker, perv! I'd also love to see this guy's dick fall off. It would be poetic justice after all.
I was watching an episode of Disaster Date earlier & there was a date with an actor playing a chauvinist. Openly told the mark "Shut up! The men are talking here." Apparently, this date had escaped from Amish country but here's a little tip in dealing with me: if you EVER say something that to me or address me in a belittling fashion, expect me to kick you hard in the crotch, cut off your balls or otherwise do something very extreme that will render you unable to continue being a sexist douche. I would have punched him right in the face if I'd been that girl.
Famous people take note (especially James Belushi if you in fact actually did this): ask me to give you a blow job & I'll say you must really hate your dick b/c if I do that, I'll end up biting it off. That doesn't even go into what my husband will do to you & he'd probably kill you for doing less; like me, he doesn't care how famous you are or how much money you have. You may even cause trouble from a friend my husband hates who would love to be his replacement!
Plus, I was once offered $1,000 by a guy I went on my first date with to have sex with him (this was years later and he wasn't even close to rich); if I was ever selling sexual services, you'd have to start from there. Natural redheads are also the rarest people on the planet & have sexual myths + scientific studies making us more marketable on that end so you can't expect freebies. You want me to give you a blow job? At least offer a fair figure so I'll have a fun story to tell people later on.
Think very, very carefully about what you want the outcome to be in dealing with The Angry Redheaded Lawyer.
Better yet, do the same thing for all natural redheads & all female attorneys. It will make your life much easier & you won't end up like John Wayne Bobbit or a eunuch if they can't reattach your lost genitalia.
Yes, I bring lawyer analysis into situations like this. What's your point? I'm not going to do it but any business minded prostitute would consider those factors if she could use them to get a better rate.
More delusions:
intern (nyc)
Date: 2011-10-04, 12:38PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-qrby4-2632052483@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Magazine CEO needs an intern (personal assistant) for up coming fashion show. Please send picture, resume, links, website and why you want to be a personal assistant.
This is an unpaid turned paid position. Best suited for college or post college student hungry and willing to work. There will be pay in the future.
Must be sociable, good with social media, public relation skills, able to go to industry events, office work, organization skills and creative.
Location: nyc
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay
PostingID: 2632052483
More insults, illegality & asking for pictures. More obvious issues in lack of reimbursement, employment discrimination & the like. Can't we just shut these jerks down?
Finally, there's this ad that looks legit but not so fast...
Fall Interns Needed for BreakThru Radio (Chelsea)
Date: 2011-08-16, 9:29AM EDT
Reply to: job-nu4sx-2549427920@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
BreakThru Radio is looking for Fall Interns to join the BTR team. We are looking for individuals who have previous college radio skills and great writing skills in covering music and the culture for BreakThru Radio. You must have previous experience in the field. You will receive plenty of goodies in return for your awesome work and, yes, there are monetary incentives! Check us out at, www.breakthruradio.com.
If you love music, comedy, culture and radio and think that you would be an excellent team member, send us a cover letter and resume! Please list your 5 favorite music artists in your reply.
A little bit about BreakThru Radio: BreakThru Radio is "Radio Rediscovered" in a world where FM is out of frequency. In today's overly saturated music market, it is often difficult for listeners to find what they are looking for. BreakThru Radio has the solution. Listeners are given access to independent music from an expansive and diverse pool of genres, in addition to an innovative comedy platform. Offering the best in music from around the world, BreakThru Radio brings its listeners tracks recorded exclusively for the BTR audience from our live studio. BTR offers on-demand access to its shows and on-the-go iPod capability.
In today's overly saturated music market, it is often difficult for listeners to find what they are looking for. BreakThru radio has the solution. Listeners are given access to music from an expansive and diverse pool of genres in addition to an innovative comedy platform. Offering the best in music from around the world, BreakThru Radio brings its listeners tracks recorded exclusively for the BTR audience from our live studio. BTR offers, on-demand access to its shows, and on-the-go iPod capability. BreakThru Radio is "Radio Rediscovered" in a world where FM is out of frequency.
Compensation: TBD
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 2549427920
There's that pesky little illegality of demanding interns to have "prior experience" in the industry. Not cool & it's illegal.
Just come out & say you want volunteers or a barter arrangement. That is at least honest & not insulting people by calling them "interns."
Still have more things to rant about but wouldn't you agree that these people should be punched in the face? Not me but someone. If I went around punching people in the face, I'd never have time to do anything else.
Showing posts with label social media. Show all posts
Showing posts with label social media. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Strangers Sending Social Media Friend Requests
Now I'm not talking about people who work in my industry or ASTs I've not met in person or spoken to in this rant. You people are more than welcome to reach out to me. Though attorneys who don't work in the entertainment field will need to pass an initiation first (just kidding, but if you have never seen Office Space or don't know where the line "I'M a wild pig!" comes from, I probably won't trust you).
Nor am I talking about actual fans: if you're not planning to interfere in my life (stalking, trying to break up my relationships, cause me more general stress), you're also welcome to reach out.
What irks me is people who never said a single word to you whose ONLY connection is being in your high school class ages ago suddenly wanting to friend you on Facebook. I don't mean legitimate old friends or people who are truly contrite after wronging you; I'm talking about the bastards who either deny that they made your life a living Hell or people who'd be background actors if your life were a movie. Thankfully, not gotten anyone in the first camp but I did get one in the second.
Another strike against you if you send me a friend request is if you're friends with my sister. Since that whole situation with my former friend after the wedding, I'm really not interested in trying to be friends with anyone who's friends with my sister. Especially if you live in the same town as her. Chances are you don't have much in common with me to begin with & I'd really rather not be known as "So & so's sister."
And if you've been shitty to my sister? Give me a fucking break! OF COURSE I'm going to side with her! Especially when you gave her a bad check as a gift and caused havoc on her bank account. No one likes having to pay overdraft fees.
I didn't mention that part because you should talk to her about it. It's not my place to say anything.
My sister is family, you moron! An actual mentally challenged person would have better sense than to try messing with the sacred bond of sisterhood. I take the concept of loyalty very seriously & gee, I don't take shit either. Causing me those problems would probably get my husband to hurt you if I didn't first. You'd be paying me back or I'd at least threaten to take it out of your hide. I wasn't told I ought to become a loan shark for nothing, you know.
When you get indignant when I call you out on this, keeping in mind that you've never even said "Hello" to me, do you know what I'm thinking? Thank God I dodged a damn mooch & future hanger-on who'd have been first in line to ask for money, to meet famous people, send me unsolicited material, pester me about casting their child in a film, etc. Oh, and since I don't know you, I owe you nothing. Not a damn thing, all right?
Unlike some people, I'm not going to play to that fiction. I'm not living in the South or under anyone's thumb anymore. I can make my own life decisions and choose who will or won't be in my life. How dare you try & infantalize me by using a friendship with my sister to get to me! We're two separate people & HER friends don't = MY friends. You don't get an equally close relationship with both of us: you get one or the other.
So if you've never even said "hello" to me & now think you're going to be my Facebook friend, you're sadly mistaken. In fact, I've got two words for you: Piss off! Sums it up, don't you think?
Nor am I talking about actual fans: if you're not planning to interfere in my life (stalking, trying to break up my relationships, cause me more general stress), you're also welcome to reach out.
What irks me is people who never said a single word to you whose ONLY connection is being in your high school class ages ago suddenly wanting to friend you on Facebook. I don't mean legitimate old friends or people who are truly contrite after wronging you; I'm talking about the bastards who either deny that they made your life a living Hell or people who'd be background actors if your life were a movie. Thankfully, not gotten anyone in the first camp but I did get one in the second.
Another strike against you if you send me a friend request is if you're friends with my sister. Since that whole situation with my former friend after the wedding, I'm really not interested in trying to be friends with anyone who's friends with my sister. Especially if you live in the same town as her. Chances are you don't have much in common with me to begin with & I'd really rather not be known as "So & so's sister."
And if you've been shitty to my sister? Give me a fucking break! OF COURSE I'm going to side with her! Especially when you gave her a bad check as a gift and caused havoc on her bank account. No one likes having to pay overdraft fees.
I didn't mention that part because you should talk to her about it. It's not my place to say anything.
My sister is family, you moron! An actual mentally challenged person would have better sense than to try messing with the sacred bond of sisterhood. I take the concept of loyalty very seriously & gee, I don't take shit either. Causing me those problems would probably get my husband to hurt you if I didn't first. You'd be paying me back or I'd at least threaten to take it out of your hide. I wasn't told I ought to become a loan shark for nothing, you know.
When you get indignant when I call you out on this, keeping in mind that you've never even said "Hello" to me, do you know what I'm thinking? Thank God I dodged a damn mooch & future hanger-on who'd have been first in line to ask for money, to meet famous people, send me unsolicited material, pester me about casting their child in a film, etc. Oh, and since I don't know you, I owe you nothing. Not a damn thing, all right?
Unlike some people, I'm not going to play to that fiction. I'm not living in the South or under anyone's thumb anymore. I can make my own life decisions and choose who will or won't be in my life. How dare you try & infantalize me by using a friendship with my sister to get to me! We're two separate people & HER friends don't = MY friends. You don't get an equally close relationship with both of us: you get one or the other.
So if you've never even said "hello" to me & now think you're going to be my Facebook friend, you're sadly mistaken. In fact, I've got two words for you: Piss off! Sums it up, don't you think?
Friday, May 13, 2011
General Musings Part 21
Once again, a bunch of links & a moment to comment on them. Also having some personal stuff going on but let's just say that Friday the 13th continues to be a day of good omens for me. Not sure why, but it is. Most people wouldn't have gotten married on Friday the 13th or worn a black wedding dress but I've been married over 4 & 1/2 years and am still happy w/my man. Obviously, the non-traditional approach works for me.
Aside from that, it's on to the comments/rants.
* First off, if you don't see the announcement of Osama Bin Laden's death as some political tactic you need to get your head out of your ass & stop watching reality TV. Apparently, Michael Moore also thought something was up. Now, personally however Bin Laden died, I think he got exactly what he deserved. If you want people to sympathize with you and not cheer when you're dead, you don't go murdering innocent people & bragging about it with zero remorse. I didn't cheer when he died but I also didn't feel sad. I just felt nothing. My instant though was "Obama's guaranteed his re-election." Just before that news, his poll ratings were at a significant low, gas prices were rising and the economy was down the tubes.
Now, most of that is still happening but I feel like it was strategically placed news to take wind from the sails of the Republicans & the Tea Party. Even my mother says political games are at work here.
If you disagree, you're part of the problem & a total sheep. You should be deported to some country where illegals are from & we should get to exchange citizenship to a hardworking illegal who does ask questions instead of you, who may as well be a slave somewhere. If Mexico & some other places go for it, how about it?
That leads to another point: if the Republicans want to win an election, why can they not run a moderate candidate? Someone that has a brain and makes points that aren't just rubber stamped by the idiots among us. I know there are some & they could do better than people like Sarah Palin who are national jokes.
Personally, if Donald Trump ran that "I admit I'm a bastard" campaign & didn't start attending some Baptist church or apologizing for his past deeds while running for President that would earn my respect; that would be showing honesty. I can at least get behind his views on foreign aid since we've got our own house to clean. Being altruistic isn't admirable when you do it at the expense of YOUR citizens, family, whoever you're responsible for taking care of.
Would you like a father who fed food to a random homeless man while letting his kids starve? I'm sure people would want that man to be lynched. Giving foreign aid out while letting US citizens suffer may as well be the same thing.
* I say "hell yes" to women owning guns. So does this woman. Get proper training & punish people for not acting in self-defense, but damn skippy women should be able to protect themselves!
I'm also for self-defense training and until government starts providing funding for all women to get it regardless of their financial means, we should really consider these points. When the MTA has no liability to me if I get raped in one of their stations, I assert that my right to protect myself trumps any city interest in banning types of weapons. The bad guys will get them anyway & we know it's just a cheap attempt to prevent the violent overthrow of the corrupt government that exists. Every thinking person knows government on all levels has some form of corruption; just a fact.
Free tip: anyone who's determined enough to do something wrong will do it. Plain and simple. All the laws, regulations & security cameras on Earth won't stop it.
* So if more people were like this guy, we'd have far fewer problems. Makes one want to offer to represent him in court pro bono or mentor him.
People bashing this guy, again are examples of sheep who should be exchanged for some of the hard working illegals who do embody the spirit of this country.
Oh, and if you have a lifetime ban on doing business w/some company if they screwed you, why the hell would you care? If you've screwed me over, I'll never do business with you again. Why would I need a formal ban for this? Makes no sense. Plus, if you were wrong how about admitting it and not being a dick? Did we ever think of that?
* Speaking of corporate stupidity, I like this comment that a poster named Jon made on this story. Here it is:
Twitter gaffs happen because people are too fricking sensitive, think their feelings matter when they *opted in* to follow another person's thoughts, and because the Twitter user can't police the people who follow them.
I put corporations that fire a spokesperson over something said on Twitter in the same category as managers who don't hire a young person because the manager snooped on that person's Facebook page and found out that they OMG got drunk at a party in college #shameonthem. I.E., shooting themselves in the foot. Giving up a qualified job candidate for something they did in their personal life is absurd.
Take Godfried as an example: Eventually, if you fire enough people for making Twitter gaffs, no one will want to work for you. Or you'll offend more people who supported the spokesperson (a number no doubt larger than the number who were offended), who now aren't interested in your products because they think your company overreacted.
I think he's got a point. I hope it comes to be that a company known for this sort of thing loses potential workers b/c they feel they'll have no room to be themselves or customers who think their policies are just draconian. Remember, customers watch you & scrutinize your behavior just as much as you scrutinize an applicant. I certainly do so watch out. I can take my dollars elsewhere & have.
* Finally, this is why I'm not flying unless it's on a private plane. I should almost thank the person who never contacted me about that job where I'd have had to travel & deal with this crap. Just one more in the series of employers who ultimately wasted my time & contributed to my distrust of people as a whole. What's new?
On the bright side, I did have a conversation with that estranged friend today and maybe that friend can be someone I trust in that next life phase. At least I don't have to worry about being pestered for favors or used for things by this person; nor am I required to hold my tongue on matters of the gigolo or do him any favors b/c I don't help scumbags who hurt my friends.
The thing that got me mad in the first place was at least resolved. Guess what? If you don't want me to reference you or you have a problem w/my right to have feelings & freedom of speech, you don't get to be in my circle or read my status updates. I'm a creative person & a writer; daring to intervene in that process is telling me to give up my identity. If you want that, then you have no business around me.
Aside from that, it's on to the comments/rants.
* First off, if you don't see the announcement of Osama Bin Laden's death as some political tactic you need to get your head out of your ass & stop watching reality TV. Apparently, Michael Moore also thought something was up. Now, personally however Bin Laden died, I think he got exactly what he deserved. If you want people to sympathize with you and not cheer when you're dead, you don't go murdering innocent people & bragging about it with zero remorse. I didn't cheer when he died but I also didn't feel sad. I just felt nothing. My instant though was "Obama's guaranteed his re-election." Just before that news, his poll ratings were at a significant low, gas prices were rising and the economy was down the tubes.
Now, most of that is still happening but I feel like it was strategically placed news to take wind from the sails of the Republicans & the Tea Party. Even my mother says political games are at work here.
If you disagree, you're part of the problem & a total sheep. You should be deported to some country where illegals are from & we should get to exchange citizenship to a hardworking illegal who does ask questions instead of you, who may as well be a slave somewhere. If Mexico & some other places go for it, how about it?
That leads to another point: if the Republicans want to win an election, why can they not run a moderate candidate? Someone that has a brain and makes points that aren't just rubber stamped by the idiots among us. I know there are some & they could do better than people like Sarah Palin who are national jokes.
Personally, if Donald Trump ran that "I admit I'm a bastard" campaign & didn't start attending some Baptist church or apologizing for his past deeds while running for President that would earn my respect; that would be showing honesty. I can at least get behind his views on foreign aid since we've got our own house to clean. Being altruistic isn't admirable when you do it at the expense of YOUR citizens, family, whoever you're responsible for taking care of.
Would you like a father who fed food to a random homeless man while letting his kids starve? I'm sure people would want that man to be lynched. Giving foreign aid out while letting US citizens suffer may as well be the same thing.
* I say "hell yes" to women owning guns. So does this woman. Get proper training & punish people for not acting in self-defense, but damn skippy women should be able to protect themselves!
I'm also for self-defense training and until government starts providing funding for all women to get it regardless of their financial means, we should really consider these points. When the MTA has no liability to me if I get raped in one of their stations, I assert that my right to protect myself trumps any city interest in banning types of weapons. The bad guys will get them anyway & we know it's just a cheap attempt to prevent the violent overthrow of the corrupt government that exists. Every thinking person knows government on all levels has some form of corruption; just a fact.
Free tip: anyone who's determined enough to do something wrong will do it. Plain and simple. All the laws, regulations & security cameras on Earth won't stop it.
* So if more people were like this guy, we'd have far fewer problems. Makes one want to offer to represent him in court pro bono or mentor him.
People bashing this guy, again are examples of sheep who should be exchanged for some of the hard working illegals who do embody the spirit of this country.
Oh, and if you have a lifetime ban on doing business w/some company if they screwed you, why the hell would you care? If you've screwed me over, I'll never do business with you again. Why would I need a formal ban for this? Makes no sense. Plus, if you were wrong how about admitting it and not being a dick? Did we ever think of that?
* Speaking of corporate stupidity, I like this comment that a poster named Jon made on this story. Here it is:
Twitter gaffs happen because people are too fricking sensitive, think their feelings matter when they *opted in* to follow another person's thoughts, and because the Twitter user can't police the people who follow them.
I put corporations that fire a spokesperson over something said on Twitter in the same category as managers who don't hire a young person because the manager snooped on that person's Facebook page and found out that they OMG got drunk at a party in college #shameonthem. I.E., shooting themselves in the foot. Giving up a qualified job candidate for something they did in their personal life is absurd.
Take Godfried as an example: Eventually, if you fire enough people for making Twitter gaffs, no one will want to work for you. Or you'll offend more people who supported the spokesperson (a number no doubt larger than the number who were offended), who now aren't interested in your products because they think your company overreacted.
I think he's got a point. I hope it comes to be that a company known for this sort of thing loses potential workers b/c they feel they'll have no room to be themselves or customers who think their policies are just draconian. Remember, customers watch you & scrutinize your behavior just as much as you scrutinize an applicant. I certainly do so watch out. I can take my dollars elsewhere & have.
* Finally, this is why I'm not flying unless it's on a private plane. I should almost thank the person who never contacted me about that job where I'd have had to travel & deal with this crap. Just one more in the series of employers who ultimately wasted my time & contributed to my distrust of people as a whole. What's new?
On the bright side, I did have a conversation with that estranged friend today and maybe that friend can be someone I trust in that next life phase. At least I don't have to worry about being pestered for favors or used for things by this person; nor am I required to hold my tongue on matters of the gigolo or do him any favors b/c I don't help scumbags who hurt my friends.
The thing that got me mad in the first place was at least resolved. Guess what? If you don't want me to reference you or you have a problem w/my right to have feelings & freedom of speech, you don't get to be in my circle or read my status updates. I'm a creative person & a writer; daring to intervene in that process is telling me to give up my identity. If you want that, then you have no business around me.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Some Food for Thought & Yes, Attorneys CAN Be Pervs
This morning, I went to the dermatologist. Now I don't like reporting on my life exploits b/c usually they're not all that interesting. Plus, I really don't like stalking or stalkers whether they're mine or someone else's. Had some bad experiences with that & I'm not even famous.
Anyhow, the dermatologist asked me if I had experienced any recent stress. I talked a bit about my career experiences & she said that you can see the effects of stress on your skin as well as other places.
So in light of that, I have to mention a few articles I have bookmarked & prove that attorneys are indeed NOT exempt from being perverts. More on that shortly, though.
First off, this article on career lessons from the recession. They missed one important lesson: don't count on anyone else to do anything for you! Maybe that's also a good life lesson but it's been my experience that you shouldn't expect that you'll still have a job at someone else's company tomorrow or that a networking contact will help you. Be the steward of your own life & if you don't count on others, you'll appreciate them even more when they go out of their way for you. I never do things for others for any reason other than sheer kindness or to help, but I do know industry protocol in my field dictates that you put yourself at serious risk if you don't reciprocate, especially if it's someone who could really screw you now or later.
Second, there's no way in Hell I'd go back 10 years on a resume like this article advises. For one thing, I was in college 10 years ago. I had about 13 jobs when I was applying to the CT bar to become an attorney. I had to contact all my past employers so they could tell the bar examining committee about me. NY, mercifully, only asked for past legal employers (which was about 3).
If I included all my jobs from the past 10 years, you wouldn't have a resume. You would have a tome! At least I've never been fired from a job; I've just lost them due to lack of work, scam artistry & intolerable working conditions not caused by me. My rule of thumb is to only list legitimate jobs I've had since becoming an attorney & mentioning things I did before only if it was relevant to a specific job I'd applied for. A museum might care that I worked at the campus museum for 3 years on work study but no one in the legal field or entertainment world would base a hiring decision on that fact. For the record, that is an actual job I had in the past 10 years. No employer I know of has asked to see more than my past 3-4 jobs, certainly not more than 5 years.
Want the past 10 years from me? Prepare for a tome. You don't want to hear about my retail work considering I'm an attorney & I think it's highly irrelevant since my earlier job skills are largely integrated into things I've done more currently. I'm never returning to retail so how does it help you to hear that I did it if you're considering me for a job outside that industry?
Not to beat a dead horse here but I also saw this article & have some thoughts. If you've been reading this blog, you already know my views on the use of social media & how I think employers ought to be looking at it. That lawsuit I mentioned is likely a foreshadowing of what's to come when someone eventually sues on such matters.
Anyhow, I can sum up most people's career advice on such matters in one sentence: Have a bland, vanilla profile & never be controversial.
Thank God I get to speak my mind. How do the people working for Nazis & Stalinists handle it? Someone does something shitty to me, you're damn straight I'll say something. I have a public duty to warn people about that kind of thing, especially as an attorney. Also you know these same people will try buddying up to me later on & I'll need a record to make absolutely certain I know why they're on my blacklist.
Now, to explain attorneys being pervs. Saw this Craig's List ad today:
Hostesses (topless/nude) for small sports party (Upper West Side)
Date: 2011-04-21, 12:24PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-hwrvc-2338632406@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Hi we are a group of friends having a small party (10 -12 guys) next week that is sports related. We are looking for 2 hostesses to help serve drinks and food and generally add to the fun while we are glued to the tv. And since this is craigslist, we are hoping that the hostesses would be topless or nude. We are a bunch of otherwise boring lawyers so this isnt a gropefest. We are well-intentioned , respectful guys who just want to have a little fun. We have done this a few times in the past and its been a blast. This should be about 4 hours and we will guarantee $200 each for that period amd $50/hr each thereafter. And in the past the fellas have also tipped the women as well. This is a good opportunity to make some easy money and have food and drinks as well in a fun environment. If interested, please reply with a bit about yourself and a contact number and we'll call and arrange to meet so you beforehand so you can see this is a good situation.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $50/hr (4 hours guaranteed) plus tip
PostingID: 2338632406
I had to respond to this convoluted logic that attorneys are never capable of being filthy perverts. If you believe this convoluted logic, you don't actually know many attorneys or you're full of crap. Why do I say this?
For one thing, I've gotten hit on by attorneys at networking events. One actually invited me out for a drink after I was attending this job fair I didn't really need to attend since I'd already secured a legal client by the time it happened. I was just there for freebies like food, mints, etc. No attorney who's hit on me ever truly offended me since I don't offend easily but if one did, boy would he ever know it!
Let's also consider the experiences of female law firm associates and others who have been the victims of workplace sexual harassment & propositioning. You'd think they worked in the entertainment industry & were subject to the casting couch with some of the tales I've read. It's a huge reason I'd never bother working in some big law firm; if I wanted that kind of harassment, I could just become a stripper & make more money + have some work/life balance to boot.
Attorney doesn't always = upstanding person. There are some who take their ethical obligations seriously (I hope it's a large number) but there are those who don't. Some are despicable enough to where you'd be safer around a crazy homeless person who mutters. Read some stories about disbarred attorneys & law firm working environments. Even document review isn't immune from these scumbags so it's not just the attorneys pulling in $500K+ a year.
I also reminded the author of this ad that actress doesn't = slut. I think many actresses I know would be pissed if you called them that or thought they'd do something like this just b/c they are actresses.
Hope that's enough education to make you realize that being an attorney doesn't make you an upstanding, moral citizen who'd never harass, grope or bother a topless chick. If you were a scumbag before, being an attorney won't magically change you into an upstanding citizen.
Maybe this guy should just go to a strip club if he wants topless waitresses and nude women or hire a stripper that makes house calls. Just my take on it.
Anyhow, the dermatologist asked me if I had experienced any recent stress. I talked a bit about my career experiences & she said that you can see the effects of stress on your skin as well as other places.
So in light of that, I have to mention a few articles I have bookmarked & prove that attorneys are indeed NOT exempt from being perverts. More on that shortly, though.
First off, this article on career lessons from the recession. They missed one important lesson: don't count on anyone else to do anything for you! Maybe that's also a good life lesson but it's been my experience that you shouldn't expect that you'll still have a job at someone else's company tomorrow or that a networking contact will help you. Be the steward of your own life & if you don't count on others, you'll appreciate them even more when they go out of their way for you. I never do things for others for any reason other than sheer kindness or to help, but I do know industry protocol in my field dictates that you put yourself at serious risk if you don't reciprocate, especially if it's someone who could really screw you now or later.
Second, there's no way in Hell I'd go back 10 years on a resume like this article advises. For one thing, I was in college 10 years ago. I had about 13 jobs when I was applying to the CT bar to become an attorney. I had to contact all my past employers so they could tell the bar examining committee about me. NY, mercifully, only asked for past legal employers (which was about 3).
If I included all my jobs from the past 10 years, you wouldn't have a resume. You would have a tome! At least I've never been fired from a job; I've just lost them due to lack of work, scam artistry & intolerable working conditions not caused by me. My rule of thumb is to only list legitimate jobs I've had since becoming an attorney & mentioning things I did before only if it was relevant to a specific job I'd applied for. A museum might care that I worked at the campus museum for 3 years on work study but no one in the legal field or entertainment world would base a hiring decision on that fact. For the record, that is an actual job I had in the past 10 years. No employer I know of has asked to see more than my past 3-4 jobs, certainly not more than 5 years.
Want the past 10 years from me? Prepare for a tome. You don't want to hear about my retail work considering I'm an attorney & I think it's highly irrelevant since my earlier job skills are largely integrated into things I've done more currently. I'm never returning to retail so how does it help you to hear that I did it if you're considering me for a job outside that industry?
Not to beat a dead horse here but I also saw this article & have some thoughts. If you've been reading this blog, you already know my views on the use of social media & how I think employers ought to be looking at it. That lawsuit I mentioned is likely a foreshadowing of what's to come when someone eventually sues on such matters.
Anyhow, I can sum up most people's career advice on such matters in one sentence: Have a bland, vanilla profile & never be controversial.
Thank God I get to speak my mind. How do the people working for Nazis & Stalinists handle it? Someone does something shitty to me, you're damn straight I'll say something. I have a public duty to warn people about that kind of thing, especially as an attorney. Also you know these same people will try buddying up to me later on & I'll need a record to make absolutely certain I know why they're on my blacklist.
Now, to explain attorneys being pervs. Saw this Craig's List ad today:
Hostesses (topless/nude) for small sports party (Upper West Side)
Date: 2011-04-21, 12:24PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-hwrvc-2338632406@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Hi we are a group of friends having a small party (10 -12 guys) next week that is sports related. We are looking for 2 hostesses to help serve drinks and food and generally add to the fun while we are glued to the tv. And since this is craigslist, we are hoping that the hostesses would be topless or nude. We are a bunch of otherwise boring lawyers so this isnt a gropefest. We are well-intentioned , respectful guys who just want to have a little fun. We have done this a few times in the past and its been a blast. This should be about 4 hours and we will guarantee $200 each for that period amd $50/hr each thereafter. And in the past the fellas have also tipped the women as well. This is a good opportunity to make some easy money and have food and drinks as well in a fun environment. If interested, please reply with a bit about yourself and a contact number and we'll call and arrange to meet so you beforehand so you can see this is a good situation.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $50/hr (4 hours guaranteed) plus tip
PostingID: 2338632406
I had to respond to this convoluted logic that attorneys are never capable of being filthy perverts. If you believe this convoluted logic, you don't actually know many attorneys or you're full of crap. Why do I say this?
For one thing, I've gotten hit on by attorneys at networking events. One actually invited me out for a drink after I was attending this job fair I didn't really need to attend since I'd already secured a legal client by the time it happened. I was just there for freebies like food, mints, etc. No attorney who's hit on me ever truly offended me since I don't offend easily but if one did, boy would he ever know it!
Let's also consider the experiences of female law firm associates and others who have been the victims of workplace sexual harassment & propositioning. You'd think they worked in the entertainment industry & were subject to the casting couch with some of the tales I've read. It's a huge reason I'd never bother working in some big law firm; if I wanted that kind of harassment, I could just become a stripper & make more money + have some work/life balance to boot.
Attorney doesn't always = upstanding person. There are some who take their ethical obligations seriously (I hope it's a large number) but there are those who don't. Some are despicable enough to where you'd be safer around a crazy homeless person who mutters. Read some stories about disbarred attorneys & law firm working environments. Even document review isn't immune from these scumbags so it's not just the attorneys pulling in $500K+ a year.
I also reminded the author of this ad that actress doesn't = slut. I think many actresses I know would be pissed if you called them that or thought they'd do something like this just b/c they are actresses.
Hope that's enough education to make you realize that being an attorney doesn't make you an upstanding, moral citizen who'd never harass, grope or bother a topless chick. If you were a scumbag before, being an attorney won't magically change you into an upstanding citizen.
Maybe this guy should just go to a strip club if he wants topless waitresses and nude women or hire a stripper that makes house calls. Just my take on it.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Social Networking Platforms & Family Members...What's the Best Policy?
In Sociology class, we learned about the principle of personas. The easiest way to explain this is as follows:
Everyone has a core personality but within that core personality, we wear different masks for different people/situations. We have the workplace mask, the family members mask, the mask for the kids, the blue collar mask, however many you need for various situations in your life. People get used to the mask you present. If you present something or someone learns of something contrary to that mask, all Hell can break loose.
The best example I've got that I'm sure would be discussed in Sociology classes today but wasn't when I was in college b/c it predates my college experience is social networking profiles. Specifically, Facebook or MySpace profiles if you went to college around 2005 or so.
I've experience this whole persona issue firsthand. Those of you who are married or have family members who refuse to acknowledge your right to your feelings can certainly relate.
The quandry is the integrity of your social networking profile vs. deception toward your family members. People experience that with people in the working world as well as evidenced by immature employers firing people for having different political views, hating their supervisor or not wanting to lick an employer's boots for having to do 3 jobs at once with no salary increase to an already pathetic wage. I think a simple conversation with the employee would be more productive.
Let's also contrast this from firings for revealing confidential information or endangering someone's life.
Personally, I push for integrity. There are ways to maintain it without airing dirty laundry such as:
A) Not naming specific names
B) Sticking to discussions on your feelings & opinions, not statements that could be considered defamatory (who wants a defamation lawsuit?)
C) Being vague enough to not make someone immediately know things but purposeful enough to make your point to those who need to hear it
I've had family members get in my face for social profile status postings. With my family, I continue to assert my 1st Amendment rights to speak & that they have no cause to censor me since their name was never used. In the case of in-laws, I simply blocked their ability to see my Facebook status updates as a default proposition.
Maybe some of you have family members and relatives who are capable of behaving like adults and not taking it upon themselves to become the Thought Police or demanding you to put up with someone else's crappy treatment. If you do, God bless you & thank your lucky stars that you aren't related to me or scores of other people whose families are screwed up. Honestly, I think my father may be the most sane of any of mine & he's the alcoholic.
After multiple annoying inquiries bordering on inquisition style tactics from family members, it all came to a head recently.
You may recall my mention of a close friend of mine who lost her mind without the assistance of drugs, alcohol or domestic abuse. Nope, her drug is a spineless scumbag who still lives with his baby mama & is jerking both of them along (while fantasizing about a threesome if you believe my husband & a guy friend my husband hates who claim all men want to do it). Baby mama is hardly Mother of the Year considering she's leaving her child in the care of my friend, her romantic rival & has family/friends who'd keep this child.
Despite her assurances that she would A) get away from this wannabe polygamist & B) perform wedding duties as requested before her life came crashing down, she has done neither one. Now I could care less about the religious aspects of the marriage breakup & if this man were single + encouraging her not to ditch her responsibilities, it would be very different.
But what I really care about is that this "friend" doesn't bother taking up grievances with me. Apparently, she has a problem with me feeling that if a friend of 20 years can 180 on me in a second, I have no chance of ever having a close friendship with anyone else. If I have to always think someone's going to perform a drastic 180 & become someone I can't respect, then I can't take that chance of getting close enough to get hurt.
I also think this person is going to mess up the wedding & that's going to end the friendship for good, especially when I offered an out that wasn't taken. Not to mention this "friend" didn't even show up for my wedding, never got me a wedding gift & hasn't bothered telling me directly about things in the past year or so. I have to hear about her life from my mother.
I posted a status update reflecting this view without a direct mention of names or situation. Instead of calling me & asking about it like a mature person would do, what do you think this "friend" does?
She decides to tell my sister. My sister mentions it to my mother, who mentions it to me. Now when my mother mentions stuff on social networking, she does in a scolding & somewhat confrontational manner. You get the sense you've just been tattled on for bad behavior. When asked, I informed her that I stand by my feelings & have a right to them. She attempted to defend this person & I pointed out that my life will be changing as well. I don't want people I don't respect being a part of it or asking for favors resulting from this new life.
My sister is apparently okay with this person taking credit for an important wedding role & being as reliable as some of her ex-friends who weren't asked because they are known for being unreliable. Those people were never my close friends & I don't respect them. I certainly don't approve of many of their life choices & are not the type of people you can help since they are black holes.
A different person in the wedding party is stepping up & I told my sister she should do something really nice for that person.
The quickest way to get me to hate your guts is to tattle to family & not talk to me. This "friend" has my phone number & could have called to speak to me. She also has a good idea of what I think about dragging family members into personal situations.
Gee, can we behave more like a 12 year old? I should go telling her father or her brother about things & see how she likes it. I refuse to speak to her since she won't bother giving me the dignity & respect of bringing personal grievances directly to me.
Furthermore, since she wants to behave like a baby, I decided it was best not to allow her to see any more Facebook statuses. As far as I'm concerned, she's part of a campaign to censor me. Not to mention that I don't appreciate attempts to be infantalized by anyone.
So I have 2 personal beefs with this person: my sister & being treated like a kid instead of an adult. Doing #2 is not simply burning bridges with me: that's throwing gasoline on the bridge & lighting a match.
You also can't exactly get treatment for being addicted to people. You can fix substance abuse or domestic violence situations, though it might not work. There's nothing to stop the same thing from happening again w/this friend.
I'm really not sure I can continue in that friendship. I don't feel it's being valued & I'd rather save my friendship for those who actually care about it, who care about me. Let me have a few people who care over a million who don't anytime.
As I was milling over this one, a friend of a friend asks why you would friend family members anyway. Good point!
I guess if you haven't, you probably shouldn't unless they have a modicum of maturity. If you did, you should probably just make sure they never see your status updates. I'm hoping that will make my life far easier. Being related to me or knowing me for 20 years is not some free pass to treat me like crap, censor me, etc. Those types of bonds mean nothing to me; I'm of the school of creating your own ties with people who love, support & genuinely care about you & your best interest. Most people have at least 1 relative who does none of that, including me. I say why bother w/them. Thoughts?
Everyone has a core personality but within that core personality, we wear different masks for different people/situations. We have the workplace mask, the family members mask, the mask for the kids, the blue collar mask, however many you need for various situations in your life. People get used to the mask you present. If you present something or someone learns of something contrary to that mask, all Hell can break loose.
The best example I've got that I'm sure would be discussed in Sociology classes today but wasn't when I was in college b/c it predates my college experience is social networking profiles. Specifically, Facebook or MySpace profiles if you went to college around 2005 or so.
I've experience this whole persona issue firsthand. Those of you who are married or have family members who refuse to acknowledge your right to your feelings can certainly relate.
The quandry is the integrity of your social networking profile vs. deception toward your family members. People experience that with people in the working world as well as evidenced by immature employers firing people for having different political views, hating their supervisor or not wanting to lick an employer's boots for having to do 3 jobs at once with no salary increase to an already pathetic wage. I think a simple conversation with the employee would be more productive.
Let's also contrast this from firings for revealing confidential information or endangering someone's life.
Personally, I push for integrity. There are ways to maintain it without airing dirty laundry such as:
A) Not naming specific names
B) Sticking to discussions on your feelings & opinions, not statements that could be considered defamatory (who wants a defamation lawsuit?)
C) Being vague enough to not make someone immediately know things but purposeful enough to make your point to those who need to hear it
I've had family members get in my face for social profile status postings. With my family, I continue to assert my 1st Amendment rights to speak & that they have no cause to censor me since their name was never used. In the case of in-laws, I simply blocked their ability to see my Facebook status updates as a default proposition.
Maybe some of you have family members and relatives who are capable of behaving like adults and not taking it upon themselves to become the Thought Police or demanding you to put up with someone else's crappy treatment. If you do, God bless you & thank your lucky stars that you aren't related to me or scores of other people whose families are screwed up. Honestly, I think my father may be the most sane of any of mine & he's the alcoholic.
After multiple annoying inquiries bordering on inquisition style tactics from family members, it all came to a head recently.
You may recall my mention of a close friend of mine who lost her mind without the assistance of drugs, alcohol or domestic abuse. Nope, her drug is a spineless scumbag who still lives with his baby mama & is jerking both of them along (while fantasizing about a threesome if you believe my husband & a guy friend my husband hates who claim all men want to do it). Baby mama is hardly Mother of the Year considering she's leaving her child in the care of my friend, her romantic rival & has family/friends who'd keep this child.
Despite her assurances that she would A) get away from this wannabe polygamist & B) perform wedding duties as requested before her life came crashing down, she has done neither one. Now I could care less about the religious aspects of the marriage breakup & if this man were single + encouraging her not to ditch her responsibilities, it would be very different.
But what I really care about is that this "friend" doesn't bother taking up grievances with me. Apparently, she has a problem with me feeling that if a friend of 20 years can 180 on me in a second, I have no chance of ever having a close friendship with anyone else. If I have to always think someone's going to perform a drastic 180 & become someone I can't respect, then I can't take that chance of getting close enough to get hurt.
I also think this person is going to mess up the wedding & that's going to end the friendship for good, especially when I offered an out that wasn't taken. Not to mention this "friend" didn't even show up for my wedding, never got me a wedding gift & hasn't bothered telling me directly about things in the past year or so. I have to hear about her life from my mother.
I posted a status update reflecting this view without a direct mention of names or situation. Instead of calling me & asking about it like a mature person would do, what do you think this "friend" does?
She decides to tell my sister. My sister mentions it to my mother, who mentions it to me. Now when my mother mentions stuff on social networking, she does in a scolding & somewhat confrontational manner. You get the sense you've just been tattled on for bad behavior. When asked, I informed her that I stand by my feelings & have a right to them. She attempted to defend this person & I pointed out that my life will be changing as well. I don't want people I don't respect being a part of it or asking for favors resulting from this new life.
My sister is apparently okay with this person taking credit for an important wedding role & being as reliable as some of her ex-friends who weren't asked because they are known for being unreliable. Those people were never my close friends & I don't respect them. I certainly don't approve of many of their life choices & are not the type of people you can help since they are black holes.
A different person in the wedding party is stepping up & I told my sister she should do something really nice for that person.
The quickest way to get me to hate your guts is to tattle to family & not talk to me. This "friend" has my phone number & could have called to speak to me. She also has a good idea of what I think about dragging family members into personal situations.
Gee, can we behave more like a 12 year old? I should go telling her father or her brother about things & see how she likes it. I refuse to speak to her since she won't bother giving me the dignity & respect of bringing personal grievances directly to me.
Furthermore, since she wants to behave like a baby, I decided it was best not to allow her to see any more Facebook statuses. As far as I'm concerned, she's part of a campaign to censor me. Not to mention that I don't appreciate attempts to be infantalized by anyone.
So I have 2 personal beefs with this person: my sister & being treated like a kid instead of an adult. Doing #2 is not simply burning bridges with me: that's throwing gasoline on the bridge & lighting a match.
You also can't exactly get treatment for being addicted to people. You can fix substance abuse or domestic violence situations, though it might not work. There's nothing to stop the same thing from happening again w/this friend.
I'm really not sure I can continue in that friendship. I don't feel it's being valued & I'd rather save my friendship for those who actually care about it, who care about me. Let me have a few people who care over a million who don't anytime.
As I was milling over this one, a friend of a friend asks why you would friend family members anyway. Good point!
I guess if you haven't, you probably shouldn't unless they have a modicum of maturity. If you did, you should probably just make sure they never see your status updates. I'm hoping that will make my life far easier. Being related to me or knowing me for 20 years is not some free pass to treat me like crap, censor me, etc. Those types of bonds mean nothing to me; I'm of the school of creating your own ties with people who love, support & genuinely care about you & your best interest. Most people have at least 1 relative who does none of that, including me. I say why bother w/them. Thoughts?
Monday, February 7, 2011
Don't Call Me a TV Star & Some Sanity Returns to the Workplace
Okay, seems I did make it onto tonight's episode of Gossip Girl. Didn't watch it & didn't tape it (to the shock of my mother). But as predicted, my sister called me to tell me where I was. It was the scene where I & a few other extras were personally directed by Andrew McCarthy. My dress also apparently looked black on TV b/c my sister claimed I was wearing a black dress.
It's NOT black: it looks dark but it's actually sparkly & more purple/red/blue. Apparently, I was facing right at the camera & since I was the only redhead there I'm definitely noticeable.
This prompted more from my family than the things that really do count in the industry like my being a lawyer or working with a film company that got distribution for some of its films.
God, I'm really hoping no one contacts me out of the blue about it. I know finding natural redheads is very difficult & if I ever star in anything, finding me a stand-in will be a total bitch. You can't even dye your hair my shade of red.
Really don't want the surrender of my private figure rights, either. If you become a public figure, it means you have fewer rights when it comes to negative statements made about you in public forums. It's much harder to sue people for it & win if you're a public figure or public official. I may lose those private figure rights anyway because of my behind the scenes career but being a big time performer of any stripe would definitely cause me to lose them & in an instant.
Let's face it, I've had flack without being famous. One of my guy friends also said something interesting to me on Friday: he claimed that I don't have to flirt b/c guys are simply attracted to me "like a moth to a flame." I'd need not just one but a team of bodyguards if I were famous. Did get that shirt I felt was perfect if you want to avoid the paparazzi or just piss them off for fun. Any aggrieved actors I meet who I like will find out how they can get such a shirt for themselves.
Once more, don't you dare call me a "TV star!" Seems I have to say this more to family & people outside the business, though I bet they won't watch other projects where I'll be speaking & doing much more. Call me a TV star when I start getting stopped on the street for TV work & not just b/c some people think I'm pretty.
And finally, the feds have decided to return fairness to the workplace.
I'm hoping this will create new regulations for non-union jobs as well. Thank you, protected speech. Getting butt hurt b/c you didn't like what an employee said about you on Facebook & then firing them is immature and asinine.
Hardly the same thing as sharing trade secrets or confidential information under a non-disclosure agreement concerning a business transaction. Have the balls to talk to the person in real life about their comments; for all we know, there could be something illegal or shady going on that the law, top brass & others can't help you with or are simply ignoring.
Social media has an important use as a leveler against corruption. I have no sympathy for companies that get called to the carpet for cheating investors, lying to the public on safety matters, willfully ignoring potential lawsuits, etc. if they are guilty. You can't sue if you are guilty of this stuff since truth is a defense to defamation, as I remind the corporate cheerleaders who are more than happy to throw someone under the bus for not being a shiny happy face about their job when they go home. Those sheeple need to be exiled & dropped off in some dictatorship & those who want to live in a free country should be brought back in their place.
Thank God someone's thinking like a human being instead of a machine.
It's NOT black: it looks dark but it's actually sparkly & more purple/red/blue. Apparently, I was facing right at the camera & since I was the only redhead there I'm definitely noticeable.
This prompted more from my family than the things that really do count in the industry like my being a lawyer or working with a film company that got distribution for some of its films.
God, I'm really hoping no one contacts me out of the blue about it. I know finding natural redheads is very difficult & if I ever star in anything, finding me a stand-in will be a total bitch. You can't even dye your hair my shade of red.
Really don't want the surrender of my private figure rights, either. If you become a public figure, it means you have fewer rights when it comes to negative statements made about you in public forums. It's much harder to sue people for it & win if you're a public figure or public official. I may lose those private figure rights anyway because of my behind the scenes career but being a big time performer of any stripe would definitely cause me to lose them & in an instant.
Let's face it, I've had flack without being famous. One of my guy friends also said something interesting to me on Friday: he claimed that I don't have to flirt b/c guys are simply attracted to me "like a moth to a flame." I'd need not just one but a team of bodyguards if I were famous. Did get that shirt I felt was perfect if you want to avoid the paparazzi or just piss them off for fun. Any aggrieved actors I meet who I like will find out how they can get such a shirt for themselves.
Once more, don't you dare call me a "TV star!" Seems I have to say this more to family & people outside the business, though I bet they won't watch other projects where I'll be speaking & doing much more. Call me a TV star when I start getting stopped on the street for TV work & not just b/c some people think I'm pretty.
And finally, the feds have decided to return fairness to the workplace.
I'm hoping this will create new regulations for non-union jobs as well. Thank you, protected speech. Getting butt hurt b/c you didn't like what an employee said about you on Facebook & then firing them is immature and asinine.
Hardly the same thing as sharing trade secrets or confidential information under a non-disclosure agreement concerning a business transaction. Have the balls to talk to the person in real life about their comments; for all we know, there could be something illegal or shady going on that the law, top brass & others can't help you with or are simply ignoring.
Social media has an important use as a leveler against corruption. I have no sympathy for companies that get called to the carpet for cheating investors, lying to the public on safety matters, willfully ignoring potential lawsuits, etc. if they are guilty. You can't sue if you are guilty of this stuff since truth is a defense to defamation, as I remind the corporate cheerleaders who are more than happy to throw someone under the bus for not being a shiny happy face about their job when they go home. Those sheeple need to be exiled & dropped off in some dictatorship & those who want to live in a free country should be brought back in their place.
Thank God someone's thinking like a human being instead of a machine.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
The Lawsuit I Said Would Happen
Apparently, one person who was fired for ranting on Facebook on her own time & with her own resources is fighting back.
The National Labor Relations Board is saying this is a 1st Amendment issue. Didn't I call this one? I have to wonder what will happen.
We all know where I stand. Time for the law to catch up & for micromanaging douchebag employer types (and you know who you are) to get a grip. You're making the sane employers who live in the 21st century look bad.
The National Labor Relations Board is saying this is a 1st Amendment issue. Didn't I call this one? I have to wonder what will happen.
We all know where I stand. Time for the law to catch up & for micromanaging douchebag employer types (and you know who you are) to get a grip. You're making the sane employers who live in the 21st century look bad.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Free Speech, Anyone???
So apparently you can get fired from your transit job for expressing your views. Just ask the mystery Koran burner Derek Fenton.
Now, while I don't agree with burning anyone's religious text (along with peeing on it, puking on it or otherwise disrespecting it) & think the people burning the Koran b/c of this debate are assholes that doesn't mean the NJ Transit department has a right to fire this guy b/c they disagree with his views.
A public statement saying you don't condone this man's actions or that he wasn't representing your company when he did it is fine. But situations like this are why we have a 1st Amendment. Firing someone for this is the same as firing someone for refusing to sign a loyalty oath or being in a Nazi organization. Plus, this isn't a federal employee or someone working in a political office where impartiality is needed. He's coordinating passenger trains, for God's sake!
Unless this man did something discriminatory to Muslims at work, these people don't have a leg to stand on in my mind. There's no law that says you must love ALL your customers & co-workers; could you imagine how life would be if there were, especially if you're a server, retail employee at Wal-Mart or work at some other place where the lowest of the low come out in full force?
Let's think about this being a global trend (and in many ways, it is already), especially in light of the anemic economy. Is freedom of speech in America now reserved solely for the rich? Should you be denied that right because you don't have the money to work for yourself or own a major media outlet? I sure as hell hope not.
I'm sure this man did think twice when it meant his family will probably now go hungry. Does anyone who actually has a conscience and a sense of right and wrong really think that this is acceptable? That is, if you aren't some greedy fat cat or if you have managed to become rich and lose your soul in the process.
What if someone was getting fired for not voting for the company CEO's favored political candidate or not being a Christian with 2.3 kids? This type of firing leads to situations like that. In legal land, we call this "the slippery slope argument". I'm interested to see if this guy files a lawsuit & what a judge will say. The judge will have to consider the slippery slope issue in making a decision & it could have a drastically chilling impact on free speech for the average person.
See why I don't like the whole using social networking to spy on people who work for you or want to work for you. I also don't like that Yahoo is announcing uses of social networks to people right here.
Must we be subjected to some anemic profile or total dishonesty in these things? If we're going all Big Brother on that, why waste time having profiles to begin with? You writers at Yahoo are also making it harder for investigators to do their jobs; don't encourage common sense!!
Now, while I don't agree with burning anyone's religious text (along with peeing on it, puking on it or otherwise disrespecting it) & think the people burning the Koran b/c of this debate are assholes that doesn't mean the NJ Transit department has a right to fire this guy b/c they disagree with his views.
A public statement saying you don't condone this man's actions or that he wasn't representing your company when he did it is fine. But situations like this are why we have a 1st Amendment. Firing someone for this is the same as firing someone for refusing to sign a loyalty oath or being in a Nazi organization. Plus, this isn't a federal employee or someone working in a political office where impartiality is needed. He's coordinating passenger trains, for God's sake!
Unless this man did something discriminatory to Muslims at work, these people don't have a leg to stand on in my mind. There's no law that says you must love ALL your customers & co-workers; could you imagine how life would be if there were, especially if you're a server, retail employee at Wal-Mart or work at some other place where the lowest of the low come out in full force?
Let's think about this being a global trend (and in many ways, it is already), especially in light of the anemic economy. Is freedom of speech in America now reserved solely for the rich? Should you be denied that right because you don't have the money to work for yourself or own a major media outlet? I sure as hell hope not.
I'm sure this man did think twice when it meant his family will probably now go hungry. Does anyone who actually has a conscience and a sense of right and wrong really think that this is acceptable? That is, if you aren't some greedy fat cat or if you have managed to become rich and lose your soul in the process.
What if someone was getting fired for not voting for the company CEO's favored political candidate or not being a Christian with 2.3 kids? This type of firing leads to situations like that. In legal land, we call this "the slippery slope argument". I'm interested to see if this guy files a lawsuit & what a judge will say. The judge will have to consider the slippery slope issue in making a decision & it could have a drastically chilling impact on free speech for the average person.
See why I don't like the whole using social networking to spy on people who work for you or want to work for you. I also don't like that Yahoo is announcing uses of social networks to people right here.
Must we be subjected to some anemic profile or total dishonesty in these things? If we're going all Big Brother on that, why waste time having profiles to begin with? You writers at Yahoo are also making it harder for investigators to do their jobs; don't encourage common sense!!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Where Does the Work Life End & Private Life Begin?
This post in the Punk Rock HR blog is a great sum up of what I'm concerned about w/respect to working in a day job.
Basically, where do you draw the line b/t someone's personal privacy & their abilities to do a job? I've asked this of HR bloggers since it seems that some HR employees are too busy playing Grammar Nazi w/someone's Twitter posts & berating people for having pictures of themselves w/beer bottles to do any ACTUAL WORK.
My boss recently friended me on Facebook. I asked whether I was going to have to worry about being fired b/c of anything I post there (since my profile does pertain to aspects of my private life). He says "No," and seemed shocked I'd even ask the question. I explained my reasoning & he seemed to think it was as messed up as I think it is.
That's just one reason why this guy is a good boss, at least to me. Most other bosses want to micromanage & stick their noses into your private business; at least, that's what I'm seeing today w/more technology. Let's fact it, if you're a business owner you'd need a boss like mine or you'd be miserable. It's great having a job where you're expected to be honest & deliver straight talk, no matter what the person wants to hear.
Thank God I did my low level work before Facebook, MySpace & Twitter became popular. I'm also glad I dated before that time; ironically, it was my husband who introduced me to MySpace. This was back before Rupert Murdoch owned it.
I have some very personal beliefs concerning abortion.
First off, unless you've been in the situation you need to shut the hell up! Men, until you can get pregnant don't even speak to me. As long as you can't contractually obligate a man to care for a baby once it's born & take him to court for damages to your body, medical appointments, etc. they're going to have fewer rights in those decisions than the woman who's carrying the fetus. The men who agree w/this basic reality are golden w/me. I made sure never to date a man who'd dare tell me what to do w/my own body if I were faced w/that situation; pro-lifers were out.
It would be like me trying to tell rape victims how to cope; I've never been in that situation so I know better than to open my mouth on that subject.
Second, I beg to differ on the "all women regret it" argument. There are people who don't take it that seriously & think like Sethe in the book Beloved: basically, that the embryo/fetus is better off not being born than being born into a drug den, abuse, poverty, rape victim, etc. I think we should reward people who make responsible choices & know when they shouldn't be bringing innocent children into the world to face abuse, diseases, ridicule, unfit parents, lives in the court system, excessive therapy, etc. It's the same reason why grown ups should make their own decisions on sterilization w/out pompous, know it all doctors trying to play God with their lives.
I personally had to fight tooth & nail to get a tubal ligation at 26 years old. Here's what's wrong w/that:
A) I'm a grown up
B) I agreed to sign a statement waiving liability to the doctor performing the surgery if I "changed my mind" since that would be my problem & mine alone
C) I'm a professional person who really loves her career & would resent a child for taking it away from me, thus negating my fitness to be a proper parent
D) My husband & I made the mutual decision not to have kids
E) It's MY FUCKING LIFE!!!!! MY body, MY life, MY marriage & MY family being affected. Not some doctor's. I don't have to play "Mother, May I" when it comes to my body, okay?
F) Legally speaking, I have every right to make my own decision on this one. The Supreme Court & the Constitution protect me & my marriage from this kind of intrusion via rulings on contraception.
If voluntary sterilization were more widely available to women who wanted it and agreed to waive liability for "changing their minds", I think we could start dealing w/the abortion issue. Until that time, women are stuck paying a lot of money for birth control, popping out at least 2 kids (and sometimes even that's not enough) or remaining life long virgins if they don't want kids.
Finally, the religious issue. For God's sake, don't quote the Bible to me.
Not everyone is a Christian & not everyone is a member of YOUR faith.
No one's making YOU get an abortion so unless you are going to adopt the child of the pregnant person you're berating for going to an abortion clinic, shut your pie hole & keep your Bible at your church. This is the essence of a free country; if you want a religious dictatorship, get out of America & form your own on some island no one is ruling over. Better yet, go live in Iraq.
If any employer at a job having nothing to do with the issue tried to disparage me at work or fire me for my views, there'd be some serious problems. I have to wonder when we're going to see some constitutional lawsuits on things like this since this is a free speech & expression issue. I predict that once we get some lawsuits on this kind of thing, employers won't get to use employees' personal lives in workplace matters when those stances or actions have ZERO to do w/the business or the employee's job title.
Basically, where do you draw the line b/t someone's personal privacy & their abilities to do a job? I've asked this of HR bloggers since it seems that some HR employees are too busy playing Grammar Nazi w/someone's Twitter posts & berating people for having pictures of themselves w/beer bottles to do any ACTUAL WORK.
My boss recently friended me on Facebook. I asked whether I was going to have to worry about being fired b/c of anything I post there (since my profile does pertain to aspects of my private life). He says "No," and seemed shocked I'd even ask the question. I explained my reasoning & he seemed to think it was as messed up as I think it is.
That's just one reason why this guy is a good boss, at least to me. Most other bosses want to micromanage & stick their noses into your private business; at least, that's what I'm seeing today w/more technology. Let's fact it, if you're a business owner you'd need a boss like mine or you'd be miserable. It's great having a job where you're expected to be honest & deliver straight talk, no matter what the person wants to hear.
Thank God I did my low level work before Facebook, MySpace & Twitter became popular. I'm also glad I dated before that time; ironically, it was my husband who introduced me to MySpace. This was back before Rupert Murdoch owned it.
I have some very personal beliefs concerning abortion.
First off, unless you've been in the situation you need to shut the hell up! Men, until you can get pregnant don't even speak to me. As long as you can't contractually obligate a man to care for a baby once it's born & take him to court for damages to your body, medical appointments, etc. they're going to have fewer rights in those decisions than the woman who's carrying the fetus. The men who agree w/this basic reality are golden w/me. I made sure never to date a man who'd dare tell me what to do w/my own body if I were faced w/that situation; pro-lifers were out.
It would be like me trying to tell rape victims how to cope; I've never been in that situation so I know better than to open my mouth on that subject.
Second, I beg to differ on the "all women regret it" argument. There are people who don't take it that seriously & think like Sethe in the book Beloved: basically, that the embryo/fetus is better off not being born than being born into a drug den, abuse, poverty, rape victim, etc. I think we should reward people who make responsible choices & know when they shouldn't be bringing innocent children into the world to face abuse, diseases, ridicule, unfit parents, lives in the court system, excessive therapy, etc. It's the same reason why grown ups should make their own decisions on sterilization w/out pompous, know it all doctors trying to play God with their lives.
I personally had to fight tooth & nail to get a tubal ligation at 26 years old. Here's what's wrong w/that:
A) I'm a grown up
B) I agreed to sign a statement waiving liability to the doctor performing the surgery if I "changed my mind" since that would be my problem & mine alone
C) I'm a professional person who really loves her career & would resent a child for taking it away from me, thus negating my fitness to be a proper parent
D) My husband & I made the mutual decision not to have kids
E) It's MY FUCKING LIFE!!!!! MY body, MY life, MY marriage & MY family being affected. Not some doctor's. I don't have to play "Mother, May I" when it comes to my body, okay?
F) Legally speaking, I have every right to make my own decision on this one. The Supreme Court & the Constitution protect me & my marriage from this kind of intrusion via rulings on contraception.
If voluntary sterilization were more widely available to women who wanted it and agreed to waive liability for "changing their minds", I think we could start dealing w/the abortion issue. Until that time, women are stuck paying a lot of money for birth control, popping out at least 2 kids (and sometimes even that's not enough) or remaining life long virgins if they don't want kids.
Finally, the religious issue. For God's sake, don't quote the Bible to me.
Not everyone is a Christian & not everyone is a member of YOUR faith.
No one's making YOU get an abortion so unless you are going to adopt the child of the pregnant person you're berating for going to an abortion clinic, shut your pie hole & keep your Bible at your church. This is the essence of a free country; if you want a religious dictatorship, get out of America & form your own on some island no one is ruling over. Better yet, go live in Iraq.
If any employer at a job having nothing to do with the issue tried to disparage me at work or fire me for my views, there'd be some serious problems. I have to wonder when we're going to see some constitutional lawsuits on things like this since this is a free speech & expression issue. I predict that once we get some lawsuits on this kind of thing, employers won't get to use employees' personal lives in workplace matters when those stances or actions have ZERO to do w/the business or the employee's job title.
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