There is No Love for Redheads

Seriously. There is NOT, even among so called people who claim they have love for us. When I say "us," I mean the real redheads. People who had to grow up with the hair color & deal with life's slings, slights and insults. You can't actually get my color out of a bottle (if by chance you do, let me know what dye it is since then I can compare your hair to mine & share the news with my childhood family since they'll want to know) & those who know me say I epitomize much of the lore. I certainly have the temper, the skills and the sensitive skin my husband says hates me.

First off, I was in a fashion show last week & in need of false eyelashes. False eyelashes are a bit of a novelty to me since mine are pretty long naturally. My mom outright envies me for mine since she says I'd never need to wear mascara. I rush to the local chain drug store located on the same street where I'm hosting City Bar's off night show that evening. Do you think I find any for redheads?

HELL NO!! You can find them aplenty in black or brown but red? Why not just ask to buy plutonium or edible underwear in an XS or the answer to the meaning of life? I think I'd more likely find the answer to the meaning of life in a chain drug store than I would have found fake eyelashes for redheads. Is it any wonder I mostly shop online when I have to get something?

Then I learn about this website through a Facebook friend who was in a redhead appreciation group. I decide to take a look around since I am the demographic this website claims to "love." I discover something about applying to model for them.

Take a look at this page & tell me what's wrong. Still looking? I'll go ahead & tell you.

They require professional photos of redheads applying. Okay, I can manage that having done these shows recently & getting quite a few professional photos, a few by myself in fact. You even get a nice full view of my body in many of them. I'm pretty sure some of the guys who've seen them have totally drooled. Actually, I know they did since some outright told me I looked sexy in some. I like to think it's within the bounds of good taste & a classy sexy, not a slutty sexy that's going to damage my enforcer cred. Who says I can't be sexy?

They ask some questions. Okay.

Here's the problem: they require you to pose in THEIR product before deciding if you can model it. There's no free shirt or any offer to get one in order to do this.

Instead, you have to pay a minimum of $15 to buy one of these shirts. After shipping & sales tax (depending on where you live; the good state of NY loves to charge you sales tax for online purchases at every single turn), you're looking at spending closer to $20+ just to be considered to model for these people.

What the fuck?!?!? In the fashion shows I have done & in my modeling experiences, no one demanded anyone to purchase their product in order to be considered for posing with them. No designers, managers, no one AT ALL that I know is legitimate.

This site says nothing about paying models for their work, offering shows or anything of that nature. In fact, Model Mayhem outright forbids people from posting castings where anyone has to pay money to be considered!

This is akin to charging a job applicant money to apply for a job. We'd call that a scam. This is not even recouping your investment like paying the $25 photo fee with Central Casting where one day on an extra gig will pay that back & give you extra.

I wrote the people on this site about this. They claimed no one had complained, they'd "always done it this way" and totally tried telling me that was remotely acceptable.

For a site that claims to "love" redheads, this natural redhead says they are full of shit. Maybe they'd gotten no complaints because the women who'd applied to be models weren't lawyers in the entertainment industry. Maybe they'd not gotten professional models who know the deal & that this is bullshit no one should be subjected to. Maybe they've only gotten applications from rich people or the spendthrifts of the world. Some of us actually work for a living & don't go around wasting our money (hi, there). Granted, if I were left to my own devices I'd probably end up some old woman who died alone with a million dollar estate b/c I'm seriously frugal & keep things until they are literally falling apart but that's another story.

These people have only earned my contempt & certainty that they aren't professional. What celebrity would want to associate with someone who is classist to women who might want to model but can't afford to buy a shirt of theirs for photographing purposes? Who would want to deal with someone whose casting offer wouldn't be kosher on any professional job search site for models? I certainly do not.

I also don't feel like helping or benefiting someone who'd charge me to even consider me for something I'm more than fucking capable of doing & probably a hell of a lot better than any fake redhead. When I complained about this policy, I pointed out what I do in a general description. Smart people know a potential business ally when they see one & tend not to go around pissing them off. In fact, I can identify an entertainment professional by how they treat me.

I don't ask anyone to brown-nose to me or kiss my butt but I do get close to that treatment sometimes. All I ask for is basic respect and recognition of the reality of who I am and how it might affect them. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that it might be foolish to piss off the entertainment attorney, especially one who is unique & different like I am.

I also don't think my mentioning what I do makes me a threat maker; it makes me a realist & a strategist. Googling me would just lead to that information anyway so why not mention it in advance in the hope of A) making the person I'm contacting more apt to talk to me or B) taking some of the fear away by showing that person I'm a real human being instead of some cold machine whose name triggers the sound of thunder in the distance anytime it's spoken. Gee, psychology proves that you're more likely to talk to & befriend people who are like you. If someone can prove there's commonality, you're more likely to follow up with them. Applying that principle is far more helpful than some basic form letter everyone is used to seeing. Take it from the person who got a lot of contacts by just being herself.

By that token I will not be apologizing or hiding my success for anyone. I'm damn proud of it! You would be as well. I don't know any other successful person who hides that fact or tries to shame themselves over it to make some insecure jerk feel more comfortable. It's not my job to coddle or cater to someone else's shitty feelings about themselves. That's the very reason I did housecleaning in my life. Having a passion is far more important than a pile of money & I'll die far happier having that than I would a sack of money doing something I hated.

I also think we can all be successful in life without having to step on others to feel good about ourselves. My friends' success, for instance, does not diminish or take away from mine. I don't get jealous or envious of other people since I don't know their circumstances & they might very well ask me to help them on things.

Speaking of which, maybe I partially won the war. I'm now talking to my childhood family again on a more limited basis & I like to hope that maybe I've been able to assert myself as an adult and get treated accordingly.

I was in a blue funk starting last night & going into today but this evening made me feel better. Making cookies I was craving, venting to a friend (thought I only ended up talking to him b/c of the need to discuss a business matter) & being around creatures I like such as my husband and the cats are a great antidote. Guess that dream I had this morning where my family came to visit and sprung Psycho Boy on me didn't help my mood either. I remember totally losing my shit in this dream & we were living in a house.

Basically, I feel like my life is "hurry up & wait." It's also in a holding pattern & I hate that. I like to be active & feel like I'm doing something productive, particularly in the direction of financial rewards. Sitting around & waiting for things isn't something I do; calling me ambitious might be an understatement. I also don't do things at the last minute & get pissed if you spring that on me, especially if I'm not being paid to have that kind of availability.

Hopefully, things are going to get better. I like to think a friend of mine is right about holding true to my standards & how someone out there will appreciate and respect my skill set. I just feel like you live by your standards/code or you've got nothing.

How the Wheel Turns, Putting Student Loans Into Perspective & Another Reason Not to Anger a Natural Redhead

There's some BIG news on the horizon for me. Started last week after my husband had gone out of town. For one thing, did some networking (as I'm apt to do). I also had a guy try picking me up on the subway (marking the second time this has directly happened).

This happened after leaving a party where this guy in a grad program for Math saved my evening after this bitchy woman who had no clue who the fuck she was talking to dared to make little gestures at me and be a bitch about people sitting in her precious little VIP booth (simple polite words would have been fine; making little scurrying gestures is another story). I did make sure to loudly say it's not a good idea to piss off an attorney after getting up but not sure if anyone heard or not.

Before that, I'd sat down and some guy asks me "Who are you?" Not "Hello," or "How are you?" Taken aback, I was about to say "An entertainment attorney you shouldn't mess with," when the aforementioned bitch walked up. Funny that I also saw 2 people I knew at this event, one of whom has landed himself on my future victims list & may very well have landed a spot on my shit list. We'll see how he conducts himself in a face to face setting with me to assess that one. He also wins the Captain Obvious Award for deeming me "weird." It's what "No, duh! What planet do YOU live on?" I had to ask him what his first clue was after that e-mail considering when he met me in person, it was fucking obvious I'm not some conventional or ordinary person.

Life lesson: don't piss off an entertainment attorney, especially if you work in the entertainment business. We can & WILL fuck you up. That's a promise & we won't even bother violating legal ethics rules to do it.

Back to this little subway pick-up scene: I'm listening to music & riding the subway to my transfer point. The guy sitting next to me asks what time it is. I tell him & then he asks "Are you single?" I said I was happily married. To his credit, he didn't say anything further or, to quote Positive K's song I Got a Man, say "What's your man got to do with me?" That will get you smacked in real life.

That is the proper way to handle a failed pick-up. Civilized people do this instead of harassing the woman, creeping her out or otherwise pestering her. Let's face it, I'm one of the last women anyone ought to be hitting on considering I've got options if I wanted to use them.

That statement is probably only going to be more true in the near future considering I got a great opportunity to do something lots of women would like to do (some might even kill to do it) but probably couldn't. Not disclosing much here but let's just say that after feeling that I get harassed so darn much by guys I ought to be getting paid based on my looks, that feeling will most likely become reality in the short term future. High school me would have loved it & did get an offer once but couldn't take it b/c of that whole being in school during the day thing.

I also learned something interesting on Monday at my City Bar Entertainment committee meeting. Rumor has it that the current City Bar President may have the same gripe I've had for years about the entertainment being offered at NYC Bar. You can imagine the response of the majority of the committee; massive conniption fits all around. Somebody else may want modernism as well. Now, who would YOU say is the biggest modernism proponent in these bar associations? If my name doesn't come up, someone hasn't been around lately. I think you'd be hard pressed to find a more anti-lawyer than me, especially considering my entertainment work & my actually knowing good writing, living the life I've lived (my diverse & unusual experiences) and my general creative personality. Maybe sticking around will pay off again.

As an artist, I've felt stifled except for exactly one time in the year where I can present MY creative voice and do what I want to do. If I didn't have that one event, I would be gone. I spoke up about my recent forum that's become the talk of NYCLA and led to people coming out of the woodwork to thank me for doing it, ask me for mentorship, connect with me on social media, etc. I'm hoping I got some people the average events wouldn't muster a second glance from.

For me, good entertainment is art. Art is not politically correct! It makes you think, provokes something in you, even if it's just making you laugh or feeling empathy for someone or a group. For me the two go hand in hand.

Censorship bothers me on a very deep level & while I was asked to be part of the delegation to meet with this President to see if the rumor is true, I did mention I'm a button pusher and I think any objection City Bar has to something could be solved with a simple disclaimer saying what we do is NOT to be taken as a representation of City Bar's views. Commentaries to movies and TV shows have this. This blog even has a disclaimer lest anyone thinks my personal views are = to those of any company I own or work with.

I'm not the type of person who has patience or tolerance to cater to the most offended people in the room. I say if you're that offended, you should stay home & stick to programs YOU select for yourself. If you're making some big complaint about my art in that context, I'll have to assume you're trying to shut down television shows and so forth because you refuse to parent or get off your large butt/grab the remote & change the channel/turn off the TV set or radio like every other human being on this planet. Nobody's putting a gun to your head & making you watch or listen to anything. Plenty of reality TV shows offend ME but you don't see me trying to shut down Snooki & JWow, The Real Housewives of Wherever, or anything else that offends me. You don't see me picketing TV networks or advertisers over it. I just don't watch them. End of story.

Last I checked, we were also adults here. Why should we be doing acts catering to 5 year olds? I haven't even seen little kids at the shows I've been to unless they were related to the person being honored at the 12th Night show.

There's also question of if City Bar wants to act like the Hayes office or network censors when it comes to our entertainment. I think I'd have to point out the hypocrisy if it rears it's ugly head. Lawyers are supposed to be PROTECTING the Constitution and the 1st Amendment freedom of speech is a basic right everyone is familiar with in there. A bar association, run by attorneys, censoring other attorneys is a major problem for me as an artist, film exec and entertainment attorney. That's a good way to get all of them to flee in droves & you bet I'd tell everyone I knew in entertainment if that happened and how hypocritical it would be for a particular attorney in the field to stick around. I'd have to also share with my creatives so they knew who to avoid for legal services; clearly endorsing the censorship of someone else's art means that lawyer isn't going to protect any other creative like (s)he should.

I'm also wondering if modernism is an issue, will the old guard take new writers and ideas seriously? Will they give people room? I feel like maybe I could get room since I don't think you have to pee on history or tradition to accomplish that goal & I've built some goodwill (in singing & acting at least so I think I can push writing, considering I've been published) but who knows about anyone else.

I know if I didn't get room, I would react very strongly. I even shared this issue with the old City Bar President & he pretty much told me "it's very competitive" and left it at that. I would welcome not having that committee feel like a high school or college drama club where the same people do the same things year after year, nonstop & no one ever will get a chance to do anything until the current people die (which is worse than waiting on the seniors to graduate). I'd feel the same if people I brought in didn't get room since that's the same as being nasty to me.

I've also been looking at more publicity for myself & had to jump on board for something else I'm not going into detail on. However, it was the reason I had to claim this blog officially.

These days, I don't spend much of my time reading the so-called "law school is a scam" blogs but I did see an entry on this story that made me want to rant.

This happened in the US, where having student loan debt means you are an indentured slave.

So, hotshots who claim we need no student loan debt reform, tell me how you like the idea of this guy doing what he did? What about him committing suicide over these student loans?

Personally, I'd have taken some different people with me. For instance, some paid off government officials or high ranking employees of these student loan companies that flagrantly violate debt collection laws. I have no beef with my law school administrators like the scam blog writers do. Perhaps settling personal scores before you go or having sex right before you kill yourself.

Then again, if you had sex first you might be so happy afterwards you talk yourself out of suicide unless you were severely, chronically depressed & wouldn't be able to have sex with that person again for some reason. Granted, it would also be bad to be the man or woman who had sex with that person & now had to worry about continuing to put out and delivering whatever game they delivered in the first place so the suicidal person doesn't kill himself/herself (unless that person was a total monster or knew they had nothing to do with the choices of the suicidal person; hopefully they have some measure of care toward the suicidal person).

Still, I wouldn't want to go without having good sex first. That includes the presence of consent.

Nonetheless I know the people railing against reform would whine & cry about how that's terrible and "suicide's not the answer." They'd be joining in the whole community mourning and all that outpouring of grief. I don't think they'd have the balls to go against that view.

Well, what IS the answer bitch (or bastard)? Your own religion would punish you for speaking ill of the dead or saying they will burn in Hell like you're a judge announcing a verdict. If you're not religious, you're still asking for karma to bite you in the ass.

Get a job? Have you opened your eyes to today's economic reality where college kids are forced to work in retail & fast food making minimum wage or far less than $10 an hour? See that recent article about the McDonalds that required a college degree to be a cashier there? Entry level in the legal field is non-existent. Nor is the state bar obligated to get jobs for new attorneys or law schools obligated to get jobs for new graduates. It's sink or swim, fuckers!

Payment plans? Do you know how private loans operate? Do you know that most law graduates have a good chunk of debt in private loans, meaning the government's got squat to do with them & the providers are, for whatever reason (probably lobbyist money), a legalized Mafia organization whose motto is "Fuck you, pay me!"

Networking? That's a limited solution, not a one size fits all concept. Some people are shitty individuals & no one likes them. Not everyone has the charisma or charm for it, especially many attorneys. You also have to be able to find the right people to network with & if you're not in those circles, you aren't in.

Join the bar associations? Doesn't really work if the bar association doesn't have a committee in your field of interest. It also doesn't work if you aren't willing to jump into a conversation of 4-5 people who already know each other & don't know who the fuck YOU are (assuming you aren't a gorgeous creature busting up a group of people of your preferred gender to sleep with) or get approached by people (that also increases if you're a gorgeous creature). One of my big gripes with bar associations is that new people who aren't social butterflies have no way to effectively meet and integrate with attorneys there. If a sorority did that in recruitment, the school or Nationals would attack them in about 2 seconds.

Let's also not ignore the obvious fact that many attorneys are assholes & I definitely encountered plenty when I was a law student/new attorney regardless of my unusual career path.

Finally, if you aren't some BigLaw worshiper with a T1 school on your name you are considered fucked by many circles of the legal field (circles I don't deem worthy of my time or attention). I personally don't think innovation or subbing those assholes ought to mean people commit suicide over unconscionable & disgusting student loan contracts and repayment terms.

I find most of the anti-reform crowd are either old farts who went to law school before 2000 (and the later exemption of student loan debt from bankruptcy, including private student loans, in 2005) or people with no graduate school degree or training to their name who haven't the faintest clue how going to law school works. These people need to shut the fuck up & propose useful, relevant and practical solutions instead of rattling off the same old tripe a hundred times. We're sick of "when I was YOUR age, I walked 15 miles in the snow to school" logic. Boo hoo! Look how sympathetic I am to you sitting in your little mansion & eating at the most expensive restaurants in the world.

Repetition doesn't make your argument magically more sound. It just makes you look more stupid, clueless, out of touch & at worse, a heartless piece of shit who should just go work for one of these loan companies and have blood sacrifices for them. You love them so damn much, why aren't you sacrificing animals to them? You're already figuratively sacrificing humans to them. Why not make it literal?

Read this article from Secret Agent Man on Backstage & apparently this is another reason not to piss off redheads. Seems our presence at a casino table means good luck.

Now if I ever go to Vegas and guys ask me to blow on their dice before they throw them, I'll know why they're asking. That could also explain anyone following me in the pursuit of high payouts. Hopefully, that knowledge will keep my husband from killing folks.

Do you think a redhead you have pissed off is going to bother helping you in that respect? I don't know if this applies to natural redheads exclusively but I'd say this is more reason not to piss off natural redheads. We could fuck up your ability to win in casinos by alerting the Fates & thereby making sure you lose. I would do that. So would any of my naturally red haired family members. We've got tempers, you know.

The Redhead Fetishists & Our Possible Future As Sex Workers

Being a redhead isn't a pretty business. Here's an example of the shit I have to deal with b/c of my natural hair color:

Redhead - m4w - 33 (CT)

I love redheads. If you are a redhead, pla contact. I will do anything for you.

Thx
Al

Location: CT
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Posting ID: 3650555801

Posted: 2013-03-09, 2:47PM EST

Now I'm wondering does this guy mean natural redheads or is okay with the fakes. There's a serious difference.

Who thinks I should ask this guy to pay off my student loan debts? No catches, no nothing. Remember the text of this ad says "I will do anything for you." It doesn't say squat about the redhead having to do something. Hey, if you want sexual favors for something, you've got to spell that out in your ads! Otherwise the lawyers like me will call you out on it & brand you a liar.

If I weren't married, I'd have to challenge this statement. Find the ad in Craig's List Missed Connections in NYC if you're so inclined to follow up on it.

Damn it, I want my student loans paid off!

I only browse the Missed Connections section if I'm really bored. One of my sorority sisters in Atlanta was once the subject of one (she found out & posted it on Facebook) so I always wonder if that has happened to me. God knows I get enough compliments on my appearance. Not that I'd follow up or anything but it's one of those "I can't help but wonder" type things. My husband & I thought of posting such ads to each other as a lark.

This ad is a textbook example of the redhead fetishist. Nearly every group and type you can think of has fetishists in it, people who only like someone b/c of their race, hair color, weight, etc. instead of the actual person inside.

My high school boyfriend was such a redhead fetishist. He made a whole big production about dating a redhead; the way you'd hear him talk, it was all about my looks instead of me, the person (who was probably as crazy & complex as today). Too bad that whole fetish wasn't enough for him to bother being faithful to me before the prom, which I didn't find out about until after graduation. The bastard (I dated quite a few of those)!

It also makes me wonder if half the guys who've approached me did so b/c they think about what they've heard about redheads & have assumptions about me. Higher sex drives, more likely to be interested in freakier stuff & more are some of what you'll hear about natural redheads. Maybe we natural redheads should get to start carrying tasers for our own safety. I certainly don't know of any who would object to doing so.

Reading this ad after reading these two stories about interview processes that employers should be shot for and about the "new normal" in student loan debt make me wonder if attractive young people are going to have to seek out fetishists who have money in order to get someplace in this life. Or if people in general will have to do that.

I totally see stuff like that happening with the pathetic prospects in store for people right now. If someone did that successfully, they could probably become a working class hero especially if they managed to use human nature against one of the members of "the evil 1%."

I'm kind of surprised none of the law school scam bloggers have suggested this (pimping yourself out, I guess we could call it) as a solution to paying off student loan debt. Perhaps most lawyers aren't what we would brand as "industry pretty" so maybe this approach wouldn't work for them? Maybe they lack charm, likeability & charisma to successfully get someone to do such things (if you're insincere about the person it's manipulation but if you have some warm feeling for them I think "manipulation" is the wrong word)? But if you're in dire straits wouldn't you use each and every asset, advantage, and skill you've got to get out of that situation?

One has to wonder about that future. Maybe once this happens, people will get off their butts & protest. I don't think people want society at large to be that Reba McEntire song "Fancy." I'm not a country fan at all but I heard someone sing this song at my karaoke place in Atlanta & you could see the lyrics at this place. I read them; they are fucking dark & depressing. Read them for yourself & tell me that's not one of the most depressing songs out there.

Country tricks you as a genre; it doesn't sound like it but when you read many of the song lyrics, some of them are just as dark as anything from the goth point of view.

General Musings, Part 30

Wow, I've hit 30 now. Okay. A lot of general things have irked me lately. I also have far too many things I bookmarked & have thoughts on that need to be dealt with.

I was very happy to read this yesterday. Thank you, Amanda Marcotte for saying something I've been thinking for years but didn't put into those words.

Even in high school, I thought the dress code was extremely sexist against women & I believe I actually said this to people. Great thought on why it's so; the puritanical culture in this country has always bothered me & sorry, fuckers I'm not going to be ashamed of being who I am. You can fuck off if you expect me to dress like a Muslim woman because I have a figure. Maybe some people ought to examine just what they're teaching young women with oppressive dress codes that never punish the young men for not controlling themselves. It's not like young ladies don't have hormones. Self-respect isn't being ashamed of who you are or what you look like, okay?

This also really infuriated me, in the second instance of banning on hair color. This family had better sue. I'm sure they can find some natural redhead like me who's an attorney to take that case, shove their pictures of themselves at that age in the face of the principal and school administrators & ask them if they are bigoted toward natural redheads. I know I would. I read this & immediately claimed it was discrimination against redheads.

Think about this: you have a kid transfer in whose hair is quite bright. My own natural hair color is much brighter than this picture. Is a kid with my shade required to do a strip search for this principal to see if the curtain matches the drapes? Does the principal get to override a parent's order that the kid can't dye his/her hair? My mother told me & my sister (whose hair was brighter than mine when she was in school) we could not dye our hair until we were 18. Does Principal Bigot get to override parental authority here?

I also read a comment in the Yahoo link where someone claimed their workplace said their naturally red hair was too bright & told them to dye it a "natural" color.

You know what would happen if I were your employee & you told me that? I would tell you to go fuck yourself & that you obviously got dumped by a natural redhead or felt inadequate compared to them. I would also tell you not to take your shit out on me & that it's not my fault you're not as cool or sexy as everyone thinks natural redheads are (at least, naturally redhaired women). Or that you are sexually inadequate & your naturally redhaired girlfriend dumped you.

Neither of those are MY problem & you're not going to make them my problem, capise? I will take your ass to court in a heartbeat and see if I can't get a discrimination lawsuit going if you try it.

What next? Telling a dark black person they have to bleach their skin to be more light-skinned? Telling an Asian person to get cosmetic surgery for their eyes? We wouldn't let that stand in society so why should I be required to dye my hair? By the way, if I did dye my hair I'd never get my precise natural color again as any hairstylist would affirm so it's not a zero consequence act.

Anyone tries that with my niece, I'll be kicking ass & taking names. She's my mini-me, after all.

I also read this story and thought "More discrimination to natural redheads." I hope these people alerted the local Scottish groups & they got in their faces. I certainly would & had you tried this with me or mine in high school, I'd have made that happen. I'd have contacted every single Scottish association and found the legal defense leagues they dealt with to take the case & raise holy Hell.

Seriously, I'd be shocked if any high school ever asked me to speak there. No high school administrator would want me anywhere near their kids since I don't believe in being some docile little sheep & will tell you truth instead of garbage like the grand majority of them espouse.

After the "idiot school administrators" series, let's turn our attention to the "idiot politicians" series.

Here's a duh consideration. You can't legislate morality & no party or candidate is God. To try is a lesson in futility & stupidity. Plus, I think you should have to live by the same restrictions you place on everyone else if you want to get all high handed & tell others what to do. It doesn't work to ban abortion if YOUR kid gets to have one or YOUR wife can get one regardless of the reason. It just makes you an asshole who deserves to hang by his private parts in the public square & worse.

This also ticks me off & epitomizes why anyone in favor of surrendering their guns to the government is an idiot. You should be outraged. Remember that whole "First they came for the gays, but I didn't speak up since I wasn't gay. Then they came for the pageant queens, but I didn't speak up since I wasn't a pageant queen," and so on and so on. Pretty soon, not speaking up means you have no rights at all & don't think "they" won't come for yours sooner or later.

Then, there's this if you think trusting authority is such a hunky dory idea.

I most certainly agree with this, by the way. More people might actually bother with voting & caring if politicians didn't get to grow roots and become the living equivalent of fungus or black mold. Do we really need senile people in office? Attorneys don't get to keep their licenses if they can't do the job, even if they've got the best team in town.

And this is just disgusting. Apparently, Christine Quinn just wants everyone in NYC to get sick and for sanitation grades to be worthless. I know Bloomberg does since he's pretty much evil incarnate.

Oh, and if you haven't already heard USPS will soon stop Saturday service. Not a big thing to me since I don't think my post office even delivers mail to us on Saturday half the time. If you believe this, though, there is one bright spot to that choice.

This is a total disincentive to help anyone with anything. If you're going to be nasty to someone who returns something you lost, well you deserve not to get it back at all. You also deserve to die from choking on your own vomit but if you don't get what you lost back, I'll consider that a partial win. Anyone else? Kudos to the owners of the hardware store for rewarding this guy's generosity even though the guy who lost his money didn't.

This and that recent story I saw about how the BBC is censoring a famous episode of Fawlty Towers really annoys me. The censorship cheerleaders should be beaten upside the head & taken away from any positions of power since they are clearly too stupid to have authority over anything. Better yet, let's also take their pets away even if they are imaginary. A living creature doesn't deserve the tyranny of their rule.

Finally, I read this recently along with this story on why businesses shouldn't be total pricks to job applicants. Would someone pass these memos on to the business people who act like that?

I also find it interesting that we can be at a "too many years at the same job" situation. I guess the exception is if it's your company or you own a share in it. There's a life lesson: don't be loyal to anyone other than yourself since you're just going to be shit on sooner or later. Maybe not literally but plenty of people will do it figuratively. Frankly, I'm not going to spend my resources trying to work with anyone who demands absolutely fealty to the company above all else including my self-respect and my family. No one else should either.

If everyone refused, companies would have to adjust their requirements & expectations for staff or go under. I'd be happy to see some places go down like a lead balloon. They deserve it & should be moved out for competent, well run companies where the staff aren't treated like slaves. If you work at some company & don't get why someone who's got zero ownership interest or executive level work gives a damn like you do, you need a clue and fast. You're also an idiot if you're working off the clock, defending illegality and selling yourself out for some employer. No one is worth that & you'll get tossed under the bus in about 5 seconds if the police come knocking.

Extra Gig #9: Guess I'm Still Pretty Even in Glasses

While I was at Comic Con on Thursday's Professional Day, I get a call from a gentleman at Comer Casting seeking my interest in being an extra on The Good Wife. Since I'd never done a gig at Comer Casting & the gig was for the next Tuesday and Friday (when I had no other plans), I signed on. Generally speaking, if you give me advance notice on things I'm more likely to show up. I need to mentally prepare for things & as I mentioned before, I come from a sorority chapter where making people go to last minute, unplanned events was punishable by death (not literal but definitely metaphoric death). Maybe some of your Greek chapters also operated this way?

On Friday, I thought "Wait a minute! He didn't tell me what role I'm doing." I know the basic premise of The Good Wife, having read about it in various legal scam blogs so I knew it was a "lawyer" show. I asked & it turned out I was portraying a member of a courtroom gallery. Specifically, a Midwesterner.

I mentioned my concern in asking so I wouldn't be portraying a prostitute or a rape victim (as an actual, real life lawyer I wouldn't do such roles in an extra gig situation for a production not handled by people who know & respect me). I also told him he could make a note in the file that I'm an actual lawyer so those sorts of roles are out for me.

Another first with this gig was that the shoot was outside of NYC. It was in Mount Vernon, in fact so there was a courtesy bus for extras (as well as a van for crew & stand-ins). Both days had levels of interesting in them so I'll go through both here.

Comer Casting operates in a similar way to Central Casting with the calling in for details and the like. They also called me the day before the gig to make sure I was still available so if my company were in the market for extras, I would consider them based on this.

Of course, I reserve my final decisions on when I get my paychecks and if they are good. The same goes for Scott Powers; I've not seen that money yet and if I don't, I most certainly would file in small claims court if I didn't get any status updates or hustle on the issue. You don't screw over lawyers, as history has shown. Especially this one. I remember that stuff & would be telling that story far & wide. Plus, that's violating trust & if you treat ME that way, how are you treating non-lawyers? Likely worse. I suppose I may also have to give some leeway for this recent storm. More on that tomorrow but I'm doing okay here.

So, other observations:

1. Based on what the gentleman at Comer told me about glasses being good for portraying a Midwesterner, I decided I'd wear mine. This turned out to be a very good thing since A) shooting went into overtime & B) my eyes did not end up being in pain from doing this because of it. The glasses also made me different from the other redheads in attendance.

2. Yes, there were other redheads at this thing, though not a large number. Maybe about 2 or 3 besides me & I'm not sure if they were natural or not. It's not the same if you're a bottle redhead; you're CHOOSING that experience & could leave it when you wanted without being ostracized or harmed by folk. Plus, it's not tied into your identity like it is if you had to grow up with it & live it since your parents refused to let you dye your hair.

One had curly hair & remarked that my hair was "vibrant." Not "pretty" or "gorgeous" as I'm used to hearing but "vibrant." I said "Thanks," but went no further. I mean, how do you respond to that? I couldn't tell if she was being complimentary or insulting. I've heard both in my time. Plus, not sure if she was a natural redhead or not; if she was, she easily could have been jealous. Apparently, she was in the union as I learned later on in Day 2.

3. This show has some good PAs and crew. Our PAs, Self & I believe Andrea, introduced themselves right away to us. Self also complimented my looks even though I was in glasses (if you were being sincere, thanks since I think I look horrid in them). There was also Tom, our set PA and the assistant director, Colin.

Colin is the sort of AD I'd kill to have on a project. He actually made an effort to learn our names & learned mine right away. Tom told us that Colin did this on every shoot they'd had. I value that sort of humanity & with my company's reputation for it, I would insist on someone with that kind of humanity handling our background folk. Plus, being able to remember the names of even 20-30 extras is a skill & he was trying to learn names for about 60 or so on this set. I remember hearing he'd done this on sets with 80 something extras. If someone can do that, that shouts "detail oriented" to me. Plus, that person is perfect for sales roles & dealing with the clients. From what I saw, Colin deserves to go far in this business.

4. On that note, this was a very friendly set. I saw principle actors talking to extras during breaks & don't think extras approached them first. As I said before, our set folk were awesome (including the lighting guys who talked to me) & Self had to put up with a lot of craziness. Personally, if any PA can put up with the stuff they have to and not start hurting folk, that person's a keeper. That's true generally but especially if they have to deal with some of the the whiny & self-absorbed people I've seen doing background work.

Some of that "too close for comfort" stuff came up again. I thought the actress playing the DA looked familiar & on Day 2, I figured out why. She was on a show that someone my people know personally was also on. Not sure how close he is to this actress today but my thought was "This could be awkward in my exec life." More signs it's time for me to hang up the extra work.

The director, Griffin Dunne, is apparently notorious for meal penalties & going into overtime on folks. I learned the crew even had an inside joke around it. If you're paying me & I can get to food, I'm not worried about it but I know it can play a toll on you physically. This made me appreciate how hard a crew works even more than I had already (trust me, you do background work for TV & you'll get that appreciation).

I also learned that Julianna Margulies doesn't like working on Fridays (and who can blame her? I don't either) & does engage in the social graces, even with background folk. I was sitting in the same row as her at one point & had one of my sneeze fits; I'm not allergic to anything & it's not a sign I'm sick but do have those sneeze moments from time to time in a day. It might be slight weather allergies. She said "God bless." I said "Thank you," since I'm polite. Remember, I don't go around pestering people for autographs unless they pester me for legal advice or referrals.

5. I did get to sit down for most of this. That made me happy since oftentimes you stand up in extra work (often in high heels if you're a woman opting for those gigs). People warned us that we had to be in court & it was boring but I didn't find it nearly as bad as real court. In real court, you don't get breaks while they realign the shot. You don't get to clear out while they move the lights. You don't get to go back to holding while they're shooting scenes without the background.

Instead, you have to sit for 3 hours & pretend to be interested while the opposing lawyer is having a witness drone on about something completely dull and inconsequential to the proceeding at hand. It's worse when you're a legal intern for one of the lawyers/firms involved in the case since you can't just leave or fall asleep. I never felt like falling asleep when I was in the scene, no matter how many times they shot or rehearsed it. You get zero relief in real court so this was a picnic compared to my real life experiences.

6. TV vs. reality is still the same with this show. I also, in a twist of irony, picked a CLE disc on evidence to watch during breaks (disc 2 of the set I'd watched in Extra Gig #8). Since, after all, if I'm going to be confined someplace for a long period of time without Internet access it's a good excuse for me to catch up on CLE DVDs so I can get credit. The scene I was in would definitely have violated rules of evidence since you don't get those surprise moments in real court.

However, I totally get why writers do that. If they didn't, no one would ever watch a lawyer show where a lawyer had to go to court. In fact, the audience might never watch a lawyer show at all. You'd be bored to tears & want to chop your own head off to end the misery.

I do give this crew points for accuracy, though. The attire was 100% on point and the wardrobe people were extremely conscientious about that. They did not have the judge use profanity like I've heard of happening in scripts; in fact, that actor reminded me of a lawyer I know from City Bar's Entertainment Committee. Those two looked similar. It does seem The Good Wife wasn't taking too many leaps into utter absurdity from what I saw & were being as true to the courtroom lawyer experience as possible in the realm of a TV show.

7. As for wardrobe, I had to get more pieces from them since many of my clothes weren't Midwestern enough. However, some of my purchases were good (like my black plaid Old Navy jacket & these darker khaki pants I'd bought for working on Wall Street). They said "no trendy stuff" so I had a time scrounging for things though I opted for stuff I'd gotten from relatives that looked very conservative. I had a few pieces I bought for myself (like the black plaid jacket & the khakis) but generally, my style is more fashionable & doesn't fit into one box since I dress as I feel on a given day. Some days, I feel more conservative. I like to think of myself as a chameleon & stock my wardrobe accordingly so nothing seems out of place on me.

On Day 2, I had to bring more & different clothes (thinking I couldn't bring black dress pants on Day 1, I brought them on Day 2 since the wardrobe PA I dealt with on Day 1 asked if I had any). Turns out those clothes passed muster, including this pinkish/maroonish blazer I got at a thrift store that was a little big on me but that I'd never had an occasion to wear. When I'd seen it, I foresaw wearing it to court.

Day 2 was rainy & the forecast had called for a lot of it so I wore other clothes to prevent my good ones getting ruined. After we shot our first scene, it was pouring rain when we cleared the set. Since my plaid coat is wool, I left it handing on a rack at the window where I saw another coat hanging when I left for holding (I was wearing a hoodie over my other clothes though my dress pants still got messed up; both were machine washable, though). My thought there was "I'm not damaging my stuff in this rain unless production plans to pay for the cleaning." You have to take care of yourself in this life & when I got back, my coat was fine where it had been. No harm, no foul since it wasn't raining later on in the day & the coat didn't get messed up.

8. The first day's lunch was interesting since apparently, not only was production responsible for feeding the crew & extras but also had to feed the people at the church. I guess no one told the caterers about that since there were non-union people who didn't get food (I wasn't one of them, though annoyed with lack of dessert at the end even though I'd brought my own candy bars to snack on at my leisure). Day 2 brought much more food. I also ended up in the union food line by accident.

I was getting up & preparing since the union people had been called to start eating. A gentleman near me told me to go ahead. I figured "What the hell?" and went on. These union people should probably not be dicks to me, I thought, since I could torch their careers very easily if they messed with me. Self had said the day before that the union folk got to eat first since there would be hell to pay with their people if they didn't. Well, there would be hell to pay with me if you cause problems and seeing as I am an entertainment lawyer & have a company that is getting to higher levels it probably serves best interests not to get on my bad side. I don't really need people to raise hell for me since I do a much better job of it myself & have been doing it for others on some level for quite some time.

Plus, the crew eating first is one thing (I've gone over that before in this series). The union eating before non-union is a different story. Maybe there should be some classification for "people who can kill our careers in this industry" in the eating order.

Poor Self said he didn't even get to eat on Day 1; if that's not dedication & respect for background, I'm not sure what is. That guy should be commended since I don't think many in his shoes would have done that.

9. I still contend that actors as a group are whiny bitches. I heard people talk about their experiences on other sets. Some of them are things I would object to or walk from; no, I don't turn off the "lawyer" or "film industry exec" if I'm doing something unrelated to those. That stuff will come out if you start problems & it takes time to make me mad. At this point, I've seen enough of what goes on to know what is a good set or a bad set.

My major reason for this is that the same girl who said my hair was "vibrant" pointed out while we were on the bus to leave after midnight that they had to drop us off at either Grand Central, Port Authority, Penn Station or some other transit hub (I don't think she mentioned but apparently there's a 4th one they had to use) since some of them were union & it was union rules. The PA on the bus told us that we were going back to 96th Street, where the bus had left from on both days.

She goes "Oh, that's not near my train." I decide to chime in at this point & say "Well it's not near MINE either but it is a subway station." I pointed out that if she had the money, she could take a cab if she had to go elsewhere. I had no sympathy considering I had to take 2 trains to get home & wait around with my stuff; I'm also quite certain no one else hearing her had sympathy since they probably had places to go as well. She then gets all hyped up & says it's a union rule (which I didn't know about). I thought "Well, go take it up with them" but didn't say anything at that point since I figured she might know what she was talking about & if she got this victory, it would shorten my trip some.

At the end of the day, we did end up getting dropped off at Grand Central. My beef here was how she handled this. She could have brought this up in a much more diplomatic & polite manner than she did, perhaps citing the union rule first. Instead, she came off as a whiny, entitled bitch & that topped off my negative vibe around her.

10. On Day 1, I heard about another story that I was tempted to interject on but didn't. During lunch, a girl at my table was talking about a representative at a Comer set giving her the creeps and sexually harassing her and other women. I forgot his name; I want to say "Pedro" but don't quote me on that. One guy in particular was encouraging her to come forward with this but she said she wouldn't b/c she knew she'd be branded as a problem & never get work.

Had I interjected, here's what I would have said:

"I own a business myself and I'm the in-house lawyer there. It's my responsibility to make sure we don't have legal liabilities hanging around. If someone at my company was doing this, I'd want you to tell me. My colleagues would also want you to speak up since we don't want to be known as that place that lets creepers bother folk. I, in particular, take our reputation very seriously & don't tolerate BS in my business. Any sane business owner wants you to speak up & won't blame you for it. If they do, they are a pack of dumbasses who will ruin themselves since people like me won't work with them & let them drag us down. People also talk & you'll get a negative reputation in the actor community. Reputation is huge in this industry & "birds of a feather" is very true around here."

I would probably have also talked about my experience at the scam TV network & what I learned about the CEO's casting couch practices along with what I did as a lawyer who was talking to potential investors. I'd have also mentioned what the web designer did to fuck up this lying bastard (and the fact that he's got friends who were apprised of this guy). People thanked us for warning them about this scam artist & I would do that again if anyone scammed me or mine. If you employ the casting couch, I'm going to speak up since no one's going to lump my company in with that bullshit or the reputations of anyone I know for a fact isn't doing it. Why should the honest & ethical among us be punished for someone else's lack of ethics?

I think I'd have probably concluded with the fact that since I'm a lawyer/business owner in this business, I'm viewed as a person of trust in society (and especially in the entertainment industry) so I have to speak up if I hear about that kind of shit or risk harm to MY reputation & possible punishment by the state ethics committee if that silence would constitute an ethics violation. As any licensed attorney can tell you, ethics rules aren't just for your conduct in legal representation. They go to your behavior everywhere & at all times. I take that duty seriously at my company & as I've stated here, I don't use my position to cover up for or co-opt scumbags, cretins, etc.

Don't be a shithead in the first place & you won't have to worry about me telling your potential investors, my colleagues or anyone else that you're not someone they should be doing business with. I'd want my contacts to do the same for me.

For me, keeping your mouth shut on things like that is akin to not reporting a rapist who attacked you. You're doing a disservice to future victims & that's not right.


After doing this gig, I came to an important conclusion: the Hollywood route to acting isn't for me. First off, I'm facing too many of these "too close for comfort" moments in doing extra gigs.

Second, no manager wants to deal with me. I'm not going to "turn off the lawyer." That's one of my strengths. Why not just ask me to dye my hair blonde while you're at it? Reality is what it is & I'm not altering my career path to make some agent or manager feel better about himself/herself. Dorothy never had an issue with my being a lawyer & she's an industry vet. We got along fine & she was never nasty to me.

Let me also point out that being a lawyer in the entertainment field is not the same as being an entertainment lawyer & even being an entertainment lawyer is different from being an entertainment lawyer who has ownership interest in a production company. From what I'm hearing, it seems I can personally have a hand in helping some agent or manager that treated me well since I could get that person meetings with the proper folk & an "in" they wouldn't have otherwise had. I also have contacts that the average lawyer doesn't & am seen in a different way based on my looks (which are what they are naturally). I have gotten approached much more often, maybe because I have a creative background as well as a legal background.

With all that, I don't see where an agent or manager is going to be beneficial to me. That person would have to be at least as good as me; I'd want better but it feels like at this point, that might be too much to ask for. I don't think most people could advise me since who's actually done what I'm doing? I've yet to find anyone who has or is doing all that stuff.

Third, I've got a family & zero desire to live in LA. I'll visit if you can find a way for me to go without being sexually assaulted by TSA just to board an airplane but until you can, I'll stay here or take the bus/drive.

Fourth, I'm not shelling out a fortune for crazy stuff. I'll do classes for me if I see something I like & want to take it but otherwise, I'll use my money in more efficient ways. Pick things I like, not because someone else told me to do it.

Finally, can't really do the crazy set hours & demands that principles have to do. It feels more like the legal world with this striving to get a series regular & the like when conditions can be just like BigLaw: long hours, trading a ton of money for your soul, a pack of sycophants telling you you're awesome even when you're full of shit & in some cases, abusive treatment.

There's also the public recognition & at least one good thing you can say about BigLaw is that associates and partners aren't going to be mobbed for autographs or forced to wear disguises to go have a cup of coffee in their neighborhoods. Nor do they usually have to worry about being in the tabloids.

I could take on that commitment for my team or my projects, where people respect me & I won't be forced to endure massive discomfort or not get to see my husband. We know that wouldn't be the case on someone else's set.

I suppose my view there is much like my view of working for someone else vs. working for yourself. I have much more passion for my own business & will work harder for it than I ever will for someone else's. If I'm treated like crap in someone else's business, I won't even bother or would probably just walk away.

Now I still love this business & have a passion for it but like anything else in life, I'll be successful on my terms & with my way. That's just how it's going to be; life is too short to not live on your own terms. I'm not going to waste my time with people who don't respect that or get it. You can't really explain such concepts to them & if you're going to have power in life, you need to use it for good. I've managed to defy plenty of odds before so I really see no reason to change things. I'm open to opportunity but if it's not terms I like & find fair, I won't bother.

Want to convince me otherwise? Prove you know what you're talking about, get my personal situation (not generalities about being a lawyer or assuming things about my company that you know nothing about) & aren't full of shit. Those demanding pay for their services need not apply.

Should We Banish All The Exes???

I decided it was time to update my ex-boyfriend scrapbook. Yes, I've got an ex-boyfriend scrapbook.

I started it when I was in college & single; it's called "The Ex Chronicles: A Work in Progress", has an introduction and some words about particular exes that had a true impact in my life or really pissed me off, has a "booty list" of things I got from that ex (gifts they bought & material possessions I got from that relationship that made it less of a waste) & has a pic of each ex or something to symbolize him as well as things like movie ticket stubs, pictures of movies I saw w/the guy or restaurant logos for where we went, etc.

When I met my hubby & was pretty sure he was the one (before we were engaged, in fact), I did the last page where he's called "The One" and wrote a whole piece about it. I also glued in tickets & places where we've gone. I have a bunch of blank pages in it and realized I should add in the ticket stubs & things I've got from doing things with hubby.

The very back of it has phone numbers I collected from guys I didn't end up dating or who thought I was pretty. More of an ego boost for the former ugly girl, really. Sort of a record to say "See, I CAN attract guys so there." One is even a Polaroid I got of a guy who hung around me one evening & stayed even after I got a major stomach ache and felt horrid. Let me tell you, that wasn't pleasant. This guy actually gave a damn & kept me company the whole evening. If he'd been local, maybe that could have worked out but he was in the military & stationed on the west coast so there you go. It became one of those experiences I'll probably use in some creative work later on, along with various things guys I talked with who I met once & had no way to stay in touch with told me. Those are the experiences I feel one needs to have a true personality & really be effective in a creative sense.

I pride myself on the creative flair of the whole thing but my best reason for having & keeping it? If I ever get amnesia, I won't make the mistake of dating those guys again & it might trigger positive memories of my hubby. After all, I have a copy of the first message he ever sent me on OkCupid pasted in there. I read it just now & it made me laugh as well as smile. I also thought "It's so fortunate we found each other." If you knew me well & you read it, you'd probably also think "Wow, that guy IS her perfect match/soulmate/a male version of her/true love/whatever."

Are you shocked I have an ex-boyfriend scrapbook? You shouldn't be. I don't believe in pretending your exes don't exist after you stop dating them. Now we don't have to go all Helga Pataki & build shrines to them like she did for Arnold (it's from Hey Arnold, you doofus; go watch it if you haven't seen it). We don't have to obsess about them or stalk them like she did to Arnold.

At the same time, I hate those articles that say "never talk about your exes." First off, when I dated guys I wanted them to know what pissed me off so they'd not being doing it. It would hardly be proper for me to get mad at them for doing something to piss me off if they didn't even know what pissed me off or why. In my mind, if the guy knows something will piss you off & he does it anyway then you've got every right to get angry. But if he doesn't? Then you're stuck & can't get mad b/c he doesn't know about it. Why not prevent a potential fight by just being honest about what makes you mad? You can't expect people to be mind readers. No, ladies you can not expect a guy you just met to know all your pet peeves or even try to understand them if you don't give him some background.

This is the vein in which I discussed things about myself: I figured "Let's get rid of the pro-lifers & the cheating assholes right away. Why get attached to a guy who's going to try to shove me into a relationship I don't want or force me to give up my dreams?"

Second, there are some serious deal breakers you need to get answers on ASAP & what better time than on a first date? If you know you want kids someday or must live in Florida, why get attached to a guy who doesn't want them or must live in Alaska? What if the guy or the girl has kids & you hate them? Shouldn't you know about that? What if someone was or is an escort or prostitute or adult film star? You might want to know before one of their fans comes up & asks for an autograph while you're on a date. There are certain things that I think people should have some informed consent on & if you don't give them that opportunity, you're being a jerk and not giving the person the benefit of the doubt. Maybe that person wouldn't mind dating an adult film star or loves kids dearly. You don't know. I just think it comes down to treating someone you have a romantic interest in as you'd want them to treat you.

Finally, I think it's a different situation when you're not dating for Mr./Ms. Right. If your long term goals aren't going to match up, it's better to let people know ahead of time before they get attached & hurt because you don't want to do what they want to do (especially if you're the guy). For me, relationships just moved faster & were shorter when I was single and not living in the Northeast. When you know you're not going to be someplace forever, you have a different perspective on things & you just have to be more efficient than these conventional articles tell you.

Maybe there should be some type of dating article for people who are not living in the place they plan to put roots in. Time is of the essence there & casual dating's kind of the norm (though I personally was a one man kind of girl; I dated a lot but I never slept with anybody as part of a harem since we redheads don't like that & being one, I felt that if I was as good as guys with knowledge claimed I was [as endorsed by Manswers & general convention on redheads] then I was more than enough for them). While this ethic isn't limited to natural redheads, a natural redhead would feel like you were eating fast food hamburgers instead of the fliet mignon on your plate if you were doing that to her. She'd also think you're a total moron & not worthy of her. One of those points should be "If you're okay with your significant other sleeping with you & others at the same time, use protection & demand the same of your sex partners."

So I don't think you have to praise exes but consider their flaws. After all, they are exes for a reason, right? I'm sure the ex had something you wanted to do & (s)he wouldn't whether it was skydiving or a sexual position or even meeting each other's family members. Then if the current person will do it, you can appreciate the current person for giving you that. I also thank my husband for ridding negative associations with exes by going to places & doing things I'd last done with an ex.

To me, keeping that book is not an "I'm not over XYZ ex" issue. It's not like I take it out & masturbate to anyone's picture; if you're not doing that, I think it's perfectly fine to have a "what mistakes not to repeat" record just in case you become senile, get amnesia or plain lose your mind (which could easily happen to me though I don't think I'd be stepping out with some illegal who's got a baby mama & zero ambition like my former friend did). Anyone else?

What Does Being a "Hip" Lawyer REALLY Mean?

Seriously, I want to know. I saw this ad recently:

Hip Lawyer Please (TriBeCa)

Date: 2012-05-11, 12:49PM EDT
Reply to: xsmc2-3009506645@job.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Law office seeks motivated attorney to work with our foreign artists and creatives in attaining their work visas to the USA. We offer a boutique small firm environment, lack of dress code, informality and reject the corporate model to law firms, (lawyers are stiff enough)..

The most important qualities we are looking for are;
1 -strong, efficient and attentive writing skills,
2 -creativity and ability to work independently
3 -have an ear to the ground in regard to trends, fashion, culture and arts
4. an ability to incorporate their "hipness" (for lack of a better word) into our work, which is mostly persuasive writing and research

The position would be part time to begin (at least twice a week) as we determine the effectiveness of the role with real potential for advancement if results met and growth continues. Please send a resume/CV and a short explanation of why you feel you would be a good fit given our needs.


Compensation: hourly, commensurate with experience
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 3009506645

Due to the nature of what I do & the fact that Craig's List is rife with scammers, I NEVER send personal details in responding to ads unless I've gotten the poster's personal details first. For one thing, there's vetting concerns. Second, I don't want someone asking me for entertainment advice (certainly not for free) or to pass a script to someone I know. I have far too much respect for my colleagues to bother them with such crap. Third, I don't want someone trying to establish a personal connection with me that I might not want to have. I network very carefully & don't deal with losers. I've also seen way too much BS (as you can read in prior entries) to take anyone seriously unless they actually answer my questions & follow MY directions.

If you're an employer who doesn't get this, then you're not one I want to deal with anyway. I evaluate you just as much as you evaluate me. Trust me, if you'd lived some of my experiences you'd do the very same thing.

In short, you can't be overly trusting of total strangers.

I've not heard anything from this one & while I may be a bit cynical as well as pessimistic, I think I'm probably right when I think I won't at all.

Here's why:

It's my theory that when a law firm says they want a "cool" or "hip" lawyer, they don't really want a cool or hip lawyer. To me, it feels just like what colleagues in the entertainment field have said about film execs who say they want something "different" but what they REALLY mean is "something that will make money but is different enough to not be a knock off of some already popular, money making film."

In the case of these firms, I think they mean they want someone who's still vanilla, bland & boring but keeps up with technology and watches television. If they really wanted "hip," I'd be hearing something. I challenged people I knew to find me a lawyer in NYC who is hipper than me. Someone who's got their own humorous rant blog, says some of the things I say, could care less about impressing anyone & defies lawyer stereotypes in the same manner I do. I've yet to find that person. If I did, that person would have to be my friend by default. I'll guarantee you none have made the sort of impression I make. People know me by my hair.

I found out at a NYCLA networking event I went to a while back that I was being identified as a redhead. That & working in the entertainment field. I'd also dare you to find someone less impressed with hierarchy or sucking up to other attorneys.

Am I right about this definition of "hip" for lawyers? I haven't personally talked to some lawyer or firm soliciting for such people but can tell you than when I see those ads & challenged them on that by responding, no one ever responded. That leads me to think that the poster is either a total liar or a moron. Neither category is a good place to be. Plus, I feel like in some cases this blog's a good screening tool. If you can't take someone who has opinions and a mind of their own + bothers to express them since silence is the same as condoning shadiness, I don't want to work with you or even know you. Save that crap for someone who doesn't mind being treated like a 5 year old. I'm not that person.

What Did Blonds Ever Do To Us???

I'm about to tell you about a phenomenon that you're fully familiar with if you're a natural redhead: the dislike of blonds. For those who aren't natural redheads, let me give you some perspective.

1. When you're growing up as a natural redhead, you get a legion of people who put you down for it. I remember getting downright tormented by male classmates. I also heard from a guy once "I'd think you were pretty if you were a blonde."

I thought I'd been the only one until I read a story in Seventeen magazine as a teenager where the story author was a natural redhead talking about her experience growing up as a redhead. She had a guy tell her the VERY same thing.

So blonde, in a redhead's mind, is = to "society's ideal that I'm not." Hearing it enough really makes you chafe against it. Even some little girls will try to push blonde hair color onto redheads or make you feel like less of a person because you're a redhead.

2. Segments of society insult redheads. Consider the saying "Blonds have more fun." Who came up with that? Or "redheaded stepchild?" It wasn't a redhead, that's for sure. If you'd hung around me in college (oh, hell if you hung around me now), you'd know that was total bullshit. The blonds I knew had to actually put in effort to get guys to talk to them. They had to flirt. I never did. To my knowledge, I'm the only one with that power & I'm sure some people who've seen it would tell you that it's because I'm a redhead. Presumably, redheads have magic guy catching powers.

There are also men who hate redheads & claim we're ugly. One of these men was none other than Psycho Boy, if you can believe it. He said he hated redheads before meeting me. Had no sexual interest in them but when it was me, he was practically a damn stalker!

Is it any wonder I preferred dark haired guys? I'd have been all set if I'd gone to school with Italian guys but sadly, there were none in NC when I lived there. Blond haired guys also never talked to me & typically never viewed me as a romantic prospect.

And is it any wonder I had a lot of friends who weren't white when I was growing up? See, if you're a redhead you're the target of insult. I always spoke to whoever was nice to me & I figure the people who were my friends were dealing with similar garbage from the white kids so we had some common ground + common enemies. This is why if there were a natural redhead takeover, racial minorities would be fine.

Plus, they never looked at me like I was some alien from outer space. You feel like people think that about you, especially if you're around other redheads. Going out with my own family has garnered those looks. I'm more aware of being the only redhead than of being the only white person in a room.

3. Mainstream entertainment puts redheads down on a regular basis. How many natural redheads have actually become famous? Now, how many blonds and brunettes? Who's seen as the "industry type?" Certainly not redheads & I definitely don't think some blond is better looking than me, thank you very much. If anything, that blonde would more likely compliment my hair. I also think redheads are far more special & noticeable.

By the way, I define a natural redhead as someone who's never been any color but red. A real redhead would be murdered for changing her hair color. I've certainly been threatened with it & I get compliments on my hair nearly every time I walk into a hair salon. No decent beautician would ever dye it for me since they'd view it as a crime against nature.

Now I know finding natural redheads is next to impossible. Yes, I know it's only natural for 1% of the world's population. I don't envy anyone having to find a stand in for me if I had a role requiring that. But if you know redheaded actors & you're taking fake ones for parts, it does piss me off. It's the same feeling that I'm sure black people, Asian people, Hispanic people & others had when Hollywood was having white people pretend to be them instead of looking for actors who fit those characteristics.

The Millionaire Matchmaker apparently even had the gall to insult redheads, implying we were inferior and second class. Ha! The bitch hosting that one should see me out someplace, where I totally don't act like someone trying to find a guy & have guys approach me whether I like it or not.

Plus, the experience of being a natural redhead is very different from dyeing your hair the color later in life. You aren't coming into it with the baggage and the hassle a natural redhead had to go through. You're making a choice vs. having it inflicted upon you. You didn't have your mother tell you you couldn't dye your hair until you were 18. Nor did you have to go through life feeling like you had a proverbial spotlight fixed on you at all times.

It's no coincidence or shocker that natural redheads don't wish red hair on their kids, especially if that kid's going to be a boy. Red-haired guys have it even worse. At least women can get jobs as models or be viewed as "exotic."

Not to mention Manswers proclaims red-haired women are the best in bed, more sexually adventurous and get laid more often (vs. both blondes & brunettes). There are also fewer prudes in our ranks. This is WOMEN, though. Not sure whether this is true about men since such stories only go to women.

So, tell me again that blondes have more fun. Sounds like the men who hate redheads need to start listening to Manswers. I'm not going to confirm or deny the truth of those statements but let's just say that stereotypes about anything exist because some people do live up to them. Otherwise, they wouldn't exist.

Hopefully after reading this, you non-redheads out there will show some respect to the natural redheads you know. I find it funny Chelsea Handler says the same thing about red-haired guys that I've been saying for years. Only difference is no one would think she was committing incest if she dated one.

Whose Injustice Was Worse & Why That's a Stupid Argument

Earlier this week, I witnessed a very ugly incident that shouldn't have happened. How come?

A) It happened in Manhattan of NYC
B) It was at a restaurant where gay pride flags were proudly displayed
C) The person who was racist was a drag queen
D) The drag queen was a member of a minority group

The manager claims this host will be out. Regardless of apologies and so forth from this restaurant, we vow not to return if this person continues to be the host. There's teasing & there's downright racism. Nor would I plan future film company events there; after all, we are not a group that cares about skin color, sexual orientation or practices that don't affect our business or our lives. We want people to feel WELCOME around us.

As we left, one drunk black woman (who may have been the one who did a God awful version of the song "Sweet Thing") dared to try holding up a yardstick to her own minority group's experiences in racism.

Here is an example of a stupid pissing contest: trying to claim that your ethnic group faced more discrimination than another oppressed group.

For one thing, unless YOU PERSONALLY experienced A) slavery, B) segregation, C) any other harm that occurred to your ethic group but not you personally, do not talk to me about it like it's your personal harm. I will tell you you're looking damn good to be over 200 years old if you bitch to me about slavery. Unless you were ever made to sit on the back of the bus, shut up.

Guess what? When you bitch about things you didn't actually live, you belittle the people who actually did experience that stuff. You wouldn't have opportunities today if your ancestors didn't stand up to that stuff & go through extremely shitty events to do it. Internalizing things you didn't live is, in my book, trying to compare yourself to those people & saying you're just as much a victim as them.

You aren't!! If I was your ancestor & had gone through the things you were internalizing, I would come back and give you a massive supernatural beat down.

Fight your own damn battles! Talk to me about events that happened to you like dealings with the law or the government. Talk to me about employer discrimination. There's still plenty of racism going on in America & I'm sure you've got a real experience to talk about. Don't talk to me about slavery or segregation when you're the same age as me unless you actually lived that stuff. It sure as hell wasn't an institution in the 1980s & 1990s!

Arguing for slavery reparations just weakens any attempt to fix racism in this country. Do you support reparations to Native Americans since the government stole their land & they continue to go through problems? What about reparations to Holocaust survivors? How about reparations to Italian Americans who were held in concentration camps during World War II (yes, that did happen since my husband learned that from his grandfather who himself was Italian & fought in that war)? Japanese Americans who were also in concentration camps during World War II? A lot of that stuff happened MUCH later. If you don't support those reparations as well, then you're a hypocrite.

I find the "oh, poor me I'm such a victim of discrimination" arguments to be stupid. For one thing, there's always someone who's got it worse than you be it in racist encounters or life as a whole. Second, how about getting off your ass & fighting it instead of whining? No one wants to hear it. Finally, why all the hate on that? How about respecting others & treating them as you'd want to be treated? When you go back to the very beginning, we're all related in some way.

And you know something else? Natural redheads are a far greater minority than anybody else. There's 1% of us. You want to talk about stereotypes? I can name you a dozen. Do you want to claim people look at you like you're from another planet? I get that in far more places than you. I'm usually the only redhead when I go somewhere; often the only natural one. I also get just as much outcast treatment as anybody else; that's probably why I've not had very many white friends.

Oh, and does everyone think you're related to every other person in your race? I'm sure there are parts of this country where that doesn't happen. Not true for natural redheads. I'd have to go to Ireland or Scotland & even then, I'm not sure if people would still think you're related to all the natural redheads. I'll tell you if I ever get to go; I feel like it would be interesting to be in the majority for a change.

We even had a school system ban our hair color in the past year! So we've been discriminated against as well. Not to mention South Park lampooned us.

Finally, no one's going to accuse you of incest if you date someone in your race. If I dated a red haired guy, people would think I was sleeping with my brother. I'm sure if you went to get a marriage license, the clerk would probably try to stop you since people would think "2 natural redheads. They must be related!" We had a neighbor who was a redhead & everyone thought he was our little brother when we all played outside. It was a reason I never dated red haired guys; I didn't want to go through that hassle + I don't think most red haired guys are even remotely attractive. You can call me a traitor on that one but we all know it's true. If you're a red haired guy who's attractive, you're a very rare breed.

So, yeah redheads don't like being lumped in with the white people. Especially the blonds. Oh, God the blonds!! That's another entry, though.

See why I have plans to create a scholarship only for natural redheads? I don't care what color your skin is; you just have to be a natural redhead. I read something about a very young black girl who was a natural redhead (I think she was 3 at the time I read it). Ask her about the natural redhead experience when she's 18; I'm sure she could tell you worse things.

A Deluded Person & Thinking With Your Brain

So I saw this Craig's List ad today:

Calling all redheads or those desiring to be a red head (SoHo)
Date: 2011-05-04, 3:14PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-c8atu-2362468803@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Model needed for Wella Trend Vision competition. Receive Free cut, color, style and pictures. I am looking for a model with beautiful hair. Red heads are preferred or someone desiring to be a red color tone.
All services will be performed at Arrojo Cosmetology.
All services will be free.
Services will be performed May 10, 17, 24 from 5:30 pm-9:30 pm at ARROJO Cosmetology. We will designate one day to the haircut, one to color, and one for styling and photographs.

ARROJO cosmetology is attached to the world-renowned ARROJO studio and is owned and operated by celebrity hair stylist Nick Arrojo.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: Gift Certificate

PostingID: 2362468803

At first, I thought "Hey, I'M a redhead. Maybe I should respond."

Then I re-read it & came to the conclusion that someone has never been a natural redhead.

For you see, rule #1 of being a natural redhead is: unless you have no regard for your life & well-being, you never, ever, EVER under any circumstances dye your hair, even a little bit.

Why? First off, if you dye it (as conventional wisdom goes), you may never get the same color again. Apparently, it may not regrow the same color as it once was. Red hair is a tricky thing, you know?

Second, people have literally said to me "I'll kill you if you ever dye your hair." I get compliments on it quite often & some of these people said it with complete seriousness & sincerity in their voices. Probably not a smart idea for me to go risking becoming a marked woman by letting anyone lay a finger on my hair.

Can't tell you how many times hairstylists have complimented my hair color when I've gone to get trims. It's sort of how I know they're legit. I'm sure even if I wanted to dye this mess, most hairstylists would flat out refuse or at least try really hard to talk me out of it.

Aside from the color issue, cutting it more than slightly is totally out for some good reasons:

1. Husband wrath - like most men, my husband prefers long hair. Getting a trim is like fighting World War III; I might get locked out of my house if I come home with super short hair.

Now I've considered getting it short in the past but the shortest I've ever had it was collar length & my husband claims long hair works better for me.

2. Entertainment work - if you change your hair dramatically, you have to get new headshots & update your pictures. The look could also hurt me in doing extra work or in my future projects. Aside from not wanting to spend money on all that, my hair's kind of become my trademark so there's no reason to tamper with it. It's not like I'll get it to my waist, you know? Believe me, I wished it would go that long as a child & it never happened.

3. It wouldn't make me look older or "more mature"; I'd just look like I was trying to be Molly Ringwald in her famous 80s movies. People already take me seriously as it is because of my personality, intelligence, what have you. Uglifying myself would do me no favors in my business.

On thinking with your brain: I'm pretty sure there's a political agenda going on with this most recent news of Osama Bin Laden's demise. I just don't trust government with all the shadiness that has happened, the timing of this little factoid and certain elements that any thinking person can spot in a second.

First off, you've just taken away from those who say the US government is ineffective. You've also guaranteed Obama a second term where he was becoming pretty hated in more recent times. Oh, and you've taken some fire away from the Tea Party & those seeking rebellion, "changes", etc.

Second, I don't believe everything the media tells me. I make my own decisions based on what I see, hear, observe, etc. Some tabloid celebs would probably love dealing with me since I'll at least base my treatment of them on their behavior toward me & my industry colleagues, not walk in with pre-conceived notions based on "Star," The National Enquirer," etc. I also remember things.

Speaking of remembering things, a good way to conduct your own social experiments and truly make people humble is to do jobs where some people have an elitism about it. One such job is calling attorneys without mentioning you happen to be one. I'm doing that for a short-term day job for non-legal matters.

Just like with extra work, it's a bit of an "Undercover Boss" opportunity. Only this time, I can note who was an asshole & make damn sure no one I know deals with them or their firm if they would get any piece of the action. I also don't work underneath in the hierarchy; I'm on a parallel track in relation to other attorneys. I don't have to care what anyone in the legal field thinks of me & generally speaking, I don't. Honestly, I'm shocked when an attorney is nice to me with all the venom you hear about them & some of the experiences I've had.

Today, I had a foolish law partner hang up on me in the course of my work. What did I do in response?

Unlike with individual people on a set, most law firms have websites. Oh, and attorneys are usually easy enough to find online.

So I found this jerk's attorney profile, saved it and noted it as someone I'd never deal with. If the name comes up, you bet I'll be telling others. A guy who's a prick to me in that context would truly be an ass to clients & clearly doesn't have respect for those he doesn't deem "good enough" for it.

I'd bet a million dollars this guy wouldn't have dared try that if he knew about my position in the world, especially if he knew all the facts. Being in entertainment makes me as much a suck-up target to attorneys as working in law makes me a suck-up target to people outside the legal field. I accept this & know it's reality from personal experience.

It also doesn't help that I already have some low opinions of attorneys. Sorry, but I don't get warm fuzzy feelings if I hear someone's an attorney. Unless someone I know likes you, you have some creative talent (meaning you appreciate creativity in others), or you work in a "fun" area like mine, part of me will wonder if you're going to be another jerkwad.

One of these days, I'm going to have opportunities to show some of these folks up. I can't wait!!

Don't Hate on Me Because I'm Skinny

I just saw this story yesterday, after getting more details on an extra gig I'm doing this evening. That will be #4, meaning that I'd better pick my next one very carefully since I plan to unofficially retire from extra work. I have my own projects in line & don't want to become known as "that extra." When you look like me & there's so few people around who do, you run into that potential problem. I'll only do gigs after my 5th one if I get asked & have the time in my schedule.

Anyhow, I read that yesterday & agree that it sucks that the employees got treated that way. I'm all for wanting to file suit if it was some sneaky way to get rid of higher paid, older workers.

That's not what has me ticked. Read the comments.

Notice all the skinny hate? People get all whiny & mad when fat people or anyone higher than size X get ridiculed. Yet, the same "big is beautiful" crowd will turn around & make cracks about skinny women. Like "size 2 & 4 women are meth addicts, teenagers, suffering from eating disorders, Asian, flat chested, exercise excessively, etc."

Guess what? I'M a size 2 and I'm none of this crap. The most I did was take my intro Jiu Jitsu course a month ago. Otherwise, I don't even leave my house that much & really don't work out save the occasional walk to the bank or some other place I have to go.

I also don't starve myself or feel pressured to be skinny. I've always been skinny (I was a size 5 in high school). Forget about me gaining weight until I hit 40 or so. I couldn't gain weight if I wanted to. This is a genetic thing: my mom was a size 7 until around that time & this was after having both me + my sister.

If you're a size 2, what's life like? I'll tell you.

* You have to rummage around to find clothing that fits you & doesn't cost a fortune. Know what it's like to have to find someone who can alter your stuff so it fits you properly? The only business suit I have that makes me look like a bad ass came from a store that is tailored to Asian women.

* You have family members wonder why you're so thin & fear you getting thinner even though you don't diet. Telling me to go on a diet or eat super health food would earn you a good, hearty laugh & convince me you're stupid.

* You have to worry about being sexually harassed or getting treated as a sex object. Not really an issue for me since I've been in more academic settings & don't conduct myself as a typical flirty girl. If I did, I'd have 1,000 times more haters. At least I'm a natural redhead so I have natural redhead legend to back up any assertion that I'll cut off some guy's dick if he pisses me off. That tends to make a smart person think twice.

* You get hit on a lot. Well, I have. Despite being married & no longer interested in anyone other than hubby. At least I do have backing if my husband took me for granted or cheated on me: I could find someone to cheat with much quicker.

This gets awkward when you're trying to do professional networking. How would you like to think you're having a professional conversation with someone only to learn they're too busy fantasizing about you in your birthday suit?

Is it no wonder I work in the entertainment industry? People there don't have green eyed monster bitchiness towards me for looking as I look. Plus, the industry deems me pretty without me having to put in effort I didn't want.

So if you attack me for being smaller, call me names or assume nasty things about me, expect me & every other skinny woman to dish it right back out at you. It goes both ways, people.

Oh, and excuse me for living because I chose not to have kids & gain baby weight (for those mothers who resent me because I'm thin & they're not anymore). You made your choices; I made mine. Deal with it.

More Asinine School Board Policies

Thanks to my husband & Chelsea Handler for mentioning this one on Chelsea Lately. I swear, I'd watch Chelsea Lately more often if I could stand the guests. Chelsea Handler's hilarious & says the same things about red haired guys that I've been saying for years. She's just fortunate that no one would ever accuse her of fucking her brother if she dated a red haired guy.

Yes, I don't find red haired guys attractive for the most part. I've met maybe one in my entire life that I thought was cute. I think I may have seen another attractive one in a headshot when I interned at a talent agency but that's about it. As I told that agent, you can't ask me about red haired guys since everyone thinks redheads are related to one another (usually that a guy is my brother). Me dating a red haired guy would lead to accusations that I'm committing incest.

Those minorities complaining about their status: be thankful no one thinks all black people, Asian people, etc. are related to one another. You'd have to date outside your race if that were the norm like it is with natural redheads.

Needless to say, none of my exes are redheads in the true sense of hair color.

So tonight, this story is mentioned on Chelsea Lately.

Okay, idiots setting policy at Cobb Elementary School in Texas:

You claim "red" hair is NOT a natural hair color b/c it's "inappropriate." Well retards, my hair is NATURAL.

As in, it grows out from my head & elsewhere that color.

And my hair's not some near blond or brown color; it's bright freaking red, no question!!

Are you claiming that both me & my sister (who also had bright red hair at 12 years old) would have been forced to dye our hair to meet YOUR standards? Big, catastrophic problems with that one:

1. My mother forbade us from dyeing our hair until we were 18. She was furious when my sister highlighted her hair with blond highlights. She herself is also a natural redhead.

2. You have to go to a hair salon if you want to properly dye red hair. A box of hair dye & DIY doesn't cut it with naturally red hair. That makes your hair an even more unnatural color like orange or maroon.

3. If you even get to a hair salon, no decent hair stylist is touching the red hair. Do you simpletons know how many people compliment my hair color on a regular basis?

This goes double for people who work on hair for a living. If I go to get a trim or do anything with my hair, I get raves on how pretty it is from at least the person working on it & on occasion from the entire salon. How do you think these same people would react if I wanted to dye it?

They'd consider it a crime against nature; I think most professionals would outright refuse to dye my hair because of the rarity of the color & the fact that it would never look the same if I dyed it even once.

4. Do you retards plan to protect me from attempts on my life when I get killed for altering my hair color to meet your standards? Remember, people have told me they'd kill me if I dyed my hair.

5. How about the permanent change to my life & identity after I've had to dye it to meet YOUR standards? Are you going to pay for that one?

So sounds like this elementary school is discriminating against natural redheads, a very significant minority that should be as much a protected class as anyone else. Ask the people who were accosted by morons too easily influenced by the antics of Eric Cartman.

I'm tempted to write the person responsible for that little policy & mention these very issues.

I was a redhead attending elementary school & gee, class functioned. My classmates did their work & it wasn't just a never ending gaze fest at my head. Viewing my hair is not the equivalent of taking an acid trip.

So I call bullshit on the "distraction" argument. Come up with something that doesn't reek of discrimination against redheads; I dare you.

Do you plan to ban very black people next, demanding them to bleach their skin so their skin shade fits within the acceptable hue? Perhaps Asians with more slanted eyes will be forced to undergo surgery so they look more "American" to these morons?

Get a grip & hope you get slammed by some local natural redheads. You deserve it.