So on Day 2 of this vacation, I went to my sister's bridal shower. They'd originally planned to have it the day before while we'd be on the road but for whatever scheduling reasons that came up, they decided to have it the next day. Sadly, my husband didn't get to go to the bachelor party the day before we arrived but he's not big on the whole strip club thing so it was fine.
Do you have a sister? Know someone who has a sister? If you do, then you know that sisters always fight about something. Especially if those sisters are close in age, too similar or different from one another or natural redheads. If you are a sister, you always think your parents and everyone else likes your sister more than you. I'm no exception.
In my case, I feel people favor my sister because she's a social butterfly, a traditionalist and has kids. She feels our family favors me because I'm the smart kid who became a lawyer, live in NYC and have always been the pretty one. We have all three of those "especially" factors (here, it's being too different from one another).
One thing you do not do, under any circumstances, is cause problems between sisters. This is downright stupid since that relationship is already volatile to begin with. My husband, whose mother has many sisters & has seen those relationships firsthand, knows better than to get in the middle.
Inevitably when I see my family members & especially my sister, it's not a matter of if but when I'll get into a big fight with them. On this trip, it was 20 hours & right after this bridal shower as we were going home.
Here's what happened:
We got to the location, a chain restaurant in the area. It's a grade B. Not just a grade B, mind you but it recently obtained a numeric score of 80.
So this isn't even a little bit of a B but a B verging onto a C. In my area, grade Cs were reserved for restaurants that had sewage problems. Makes you real hungry, doesn't it?
I pointed this out to my mother, who avoids grade B restaurants like the plague (in fact, we've walked out of a few in the past). Unfortunately, when someone else is throwing the event, you're obligated to stay.
To top it off, I had to deal with that matron of honor I mentioned. She's a familiar face if you've been reading this blog; she's the same one who basically lost her mind & did a personality 180. Before this trip, she assures me that she's heading down the right road again, will be standing up & doing SOME matron of honor duties, etc. I'd told her that we may still be able to be friends but not in the BFF sort of way that we were in the past; she also assures me that she doesn't value my sister more. I also neglected to mention that she lists my sister as one of her "bests" on Facebook but did not have me listed that way. Need I say more? These facts become relevant soon.
She arrives 40 minutes late, behind everyone else. I do my best to avoid talking to her, a theme throughout this trip. My sister loudly talks about how she stole this particular friend from me and basically caused me to get the short end of the stick all the time as a kid, including stealing gum from me that I paid for. I do a little mentioning of my own about her being a snoop (intended to be humorous & continuing on a theme she started). This triggers the big fight.
One note about my sister: she's FAR more worried about other people's opinions than I am. This includes people who know her well and know darn well she's not an actual thief or snoop. She accuses me of calling her one & making her look bad in front of these people. In fact, that attribute is a trend in my family: my mother worried about the opinions of her former neighbors, whom she didn't even like!
While we were at this restaurant, we find that one of our servers is a cousin we'd not seen since elementary school. Completely shocked at all this, we start chatting with her and learn that one of my uncles died a couple years back. The catching up was fun and I hope she'll stay in touch. She's one of the few younger relatives I have who doesn't have kids. Of course, I have to deliver that caveat about not wanting to be asked for favors.
Speaking of my sister & asking for favors, she claimed that no one wants what I have & I have no business issuing that caveat to people in conversation. I told her that she knows nothing about the entertainment industry & doesn't have a clue what it's like so she shouldn't speak about it. I also said I don't want someone to ask me for a favor & then pull the "but I thought we were FRIENDS" card. Better to nip any kind of BS in the bud before it can happen. After all, I then have a right to get mad & say crude things if someone does that.
The recent Aspiring Filmmaker's Bootcamp I went to before leaving town confirmed that I've got every right to be paranoid and suspicious since there are LOTS of crazies out there + many people willing to exploit your friendship w/them to meet celebrities, ask for professional favors, etc. It confirmed that I and my colleagues will face even more than we already have.
At this point, though I feel it's my film company or bust since I really don't care about anyone else's business & could never have the same level of passion I have for my own. Just a reality. My husband also told me I couldn't get a steady day job b/c I'm a genius & too smart to take bureaucracy + other BS; I disagree w/the genius part but that's a topic for debate.