Are These People Stupid or Asking to Get Sued?

That's what I often ask myself when I see utterly ridiculous Craig's List ads. Consider this one, for instance:

admin/personal assistant (Financial District)

Date: 2011-06-02, 1:14PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-tzvke-2416897556@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

CEO of a multi-faceted production company is seeking a full time Administrative Assistant , 30-50 hours per week.
Seeking a driven individual with interest in events, live performing arts, entertainment, design, fashion and art direction.

Responsibilities will include :
-Use of creative writing skills for updating the blog and website.
Photoshop/Illustrator skills for help designing and preparing press packets, proposals.
-Following up with clients.
-Light bookkeeping.
-Maintaining all social networking sites (twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook etc).
-Research and development of public relations and marketing strategies.

There are some personal assistant aspects of this job including running errands, shopping, organizing and planning travel arrangements etc.

Applicants must have :
- Excellent organizational skills required.
- Strong administrative and follow-through skills.
- Must be able to multi-task and remain focused under pressure.
- Must be able to work independently and as part of a team. (There is some supervisory work so you must be comfortable with that aspect of the position.)
- Creative writing skills.
- Be self motivated
- Able to travel , at times Internationally at short notice.
- Must be punctual, articulate, polite, personable and have good people skills and a clean appearance. This is a casual work atmosphere and not a corporate office, however you must be prepared to attend high profile events at times.
- Know the ins and outs and up to date of social networking sites.
- Great communication skills, oral and written.
- Proficiency in Mac OSX, CS5, Microsoft Office , MS Word, Excel and Outlook Express, Photoshop.
- An ardent appreciation of art and design is a plus!

SOTU Productions has been described as the haute couture live entertainment company, providing tailor made, high-end performance art for clients including Marc Jacobs, Richard Branson, Piaget, W Hotels Worldwide.

Salary starting at $12 /hour plus bonuses for working at events.

Should be available 4-5 days a week minimum. Our office location is in the Financial District, lower Manhattan and Showroom/Design studio is located in Williamsburg Brooklyn.

Email cover letter and resume with the Subject : SOTU Assistant.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $12 per hour plus bonuses

Okay, I made $12 an hour at my first post-college job & they didn't ask ME to work outside of business hours, travel internationally or demand Photoshop skills. There's a little thing called passport fees & they aren't cheap, especially if you don't have paying employment at the present time. Why don't you just charge people a fee to see their applications?

If you think this one was bad, the next one will make you wonder how much crack the poster was smoking beforehand:

Executive/Personal Assistant (Manhattan )

Date: 2011-06-10, 5:52PM EDT
Reply to: job-7wwg5-2433078000@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

We need a FABULOUS Executive Assistant to work with the CEO of the company.
You must have 10 or more years of experience working in this same capacity
You will work a normal 40 hr work week but must be on-call 24/7 and able to travel domestically and internationally.
You must work well with the present team members
As a team player -you must be trustworthy, flexible, reliable and give 150% to team!!
Must be extremely efficient, multi-task, delegate when needed and think and act "outside the box" to get the job done seamlessly.
You must be highly proficient with computer programs such as MS Word, Excel, Power Point and smart phones.
You must be legal to work in the United States and have STELLAR references.
We prefer someone young, resourceful and dedicated!

Location: Manhattan
Compensation: $55K plus benefits and overtime
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2433078000

Considering my husband would like to find another job & would have even considered something like this for a fair rate, I had to respond. Here's what I said.

So you want a "fabulous" assistant with "10+ years experience," "24/7 availability," "able to travel domestically and internationally," "give 150%" to a business the person won't even have ownership interest in AND "STELLAR references" and think "$55K plus benefits and overtime" is appropriate compensation?!?

THEN you say you want someone "young"?!  With 10+ years of experience in this job title, the person would have to be at LEAST 32/33 years old and that's assuming he/she got this exact job title and responsibilities straight from college.  If you work in most industries, that's NOT young.

Are you on drugs or just completely stupid?  People who work on-call and do all that stuff make a HELL of a LOT more than $55K a year.  That is an insult and a pittance to people who actually have those skills.  A person doing what you are demanding is worth at least $75K a year if not six figures.

Stop insulting professionals & pay a proper i.e. market rate!  You are the reason people don't give 50% to their employers and hate their jobs.  Why don't you just require the person to be able to read minds and fly while you're at it?

You get what you pay for and if you want filet mignon, you're going to have PAY for it.  Enough said.

Yes, employers if you want filet mignon you'd better be prepared to pay for it. No one in this life owes you anything & this just shows me that you treat your employees like crap. Effort & motivation come from having respect for people. That includes paying what they are worth or at a minimum, acknowledging that you would do it if you could. I also think many of these people should spring for some legal counsel since a lot of them tend to post illegal ads & make everyone in the business look like cheap scumbags who molest young women and offer promotions based upon ego stroking instead of hard work or competency.

Oh, but I just saw a new low on the bottom of the barrel legal job known as document review. Feast your eyes on this:

CONTRACT ATTORNEY NEEDED ASAP (Please review requirements) (Rye Brook, New York)

Date: 2011-06-21, 12:28PM EDT
Reply to: job-zjerj-2453649989@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


LITIGATION FIRM IN WESTCHESTER COUNTY SEEKS CONTRACT ATTORNEY TO ASSIST IN DOCUMENT REVIEW PROJECT

Requirements (Note that if you send your resume and it does not show that you posses all of the requirements you will not be considered for the position):

Previous legal experience
Experience with reviewing documents on CaseMap
Available immediately
Posses computer they can bring to work and Car
Dependable

Compensation - $20 per hour.
Location: Rye Brook, New York
Compensation: Compensation - $20 per hour.
This is a contract job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2453649989

Now, not only are you being paid a very low rate (it used to be an average of $35 per hour before the economic crash) but you have to have a car AND provide your own computer. Why not just let people do this at home, in their space & away from the crazies and resigned husks that used to be human beings?

Oh, I forgot. Document review operates under the premise that all the attorneys doing it are as capable as 6 years old. They have NO ability to work independently or even dress themselves in the morning. Any attorney with a sense of propriety and who cared about himself/herself would say "Hell, no!!" to this. This is just as bad as internships where interns are demanded to provide laptops and smart phones. You're allowing the document review company to use YOUR resources for THEIR benefit without providing any reimbursement for it.

See why one assignment was enough for me? Prostitution would be preferable. And from what I've read about the goings on in some of these places, it's about one & the same.

Oh, and another rant that I really should get off my chest. Stop trying to turn idiots or those choosing to drink/do drugs/engage in stupid or dangerous behavior into saints when they die from those choices!!! I'm not an Ebert fan, per se but I do have to agree w/him on that one. I save my sympathy for people who were the victims of these assholes vs. the jerks who caused the problems to start with.

If you choose to take drugs, drive while intoxicated, do other dangerous stuff & you get hurt or die, then you brought that on yourself. I say this as the daughter of an alcoholic. If my father drove drunk & then died from it, I wouldn't expect people to hold him up like he was some poor victim. Even my own mother wouldn't do that considering after Michael Jackson died, she said "You live by the propofol, you die by the propofol." In fact, I think I'd be more offended by people trying to turn my father into the reincarnation of Jesus instead of acknowledging that he made some bad choices and his own free will led to his demise.

Ultimately, you can't help someone who doesn't want it. I couldn't help my former friend, my mother couldn't make my father get treatment for alcoholism and if someone doesn't want your help, they DON'T WANT IT! I think it's a good idea to give yourself emotional distance if people don't want to be helped. You still have your own life to live.

At the end of the day, though, I'm not going to mourn someone who chose to be self-destructive. I'm going to be glad they didn't take innocent people with them.

Call it cold or callous all you want. Talk to me when you've watched people you care about self-destruct and realized you couldn't do shit to change it.