You're getting an extra entry at both fan behest & because I was downloading Prince songs. I also planned to go into the office today but worked at home b/c I didn't want to risk being struck by lightening on my walk to the subway as I walked under the trees on our sidewalk.
As you read before, my husband foisted 50 Shades of Grey upon me. I still stand by my statement that it's totally porno & that is the only reason it's on the NY Times Best Seller List. The porn aspect has also been the consensus among everyone I know who's read it. Furthermore, you're not reading it for the author's writing skills. I've heard multiple people say the writing was excruciating or plodding in some fashion. I promised to write a rant topic on it after I read it; a little late but it felt fitting to write it now.
I do give the author credit for a realistic ending for the first book. If it stopped there, my inner feminist would be happy since I like realism in my media. However, it doesn't. I, however, do since I know I'd be disappointed in the lead female character for going back to that situation. It also has some very negative commentary & I'd hate to think men believe all women are that way. Let me tell you right now, we aren't.
One thing that really pissed me off was the covering up of terms. I hear that in urban fiction, you will see the word "dick" to refer to the guy's private parts. However, if it's a white romance author you see things like "manhood" or "he inserted himself." In this book, "vagina" isn't used but "me" or "my sex" is.
Why are white people so damn bashful about sex (at least Americans or those from a puritanical culture like this British author; I'm sure the French are just fine with it)? I sure as hell can't write it credibly but maybe I've done too much of it & have the added baggage of my religion infused childhood blocking me. Any sex scene I ventured to write would have comedic elements, probably because some of my actual experiences did have comedy in them. I know my artistic limits & I'm pretty sure that's one of them.
Listen, sister: if you want to write a porn tome, don't be bashful. Be direct, damn it! Spell it out. You have adult readers. We aren't stupid. If you're going to be that graphic anyway, why censor that for us? Playboy's sex stories sure don't play that censorship. They spell it right out for you. None of their authors are bashful about it. They put it right in your face 100% & I'm sure make no apologies for it.
If you're going to "go there," why not take us all the way. There are Prince songs more graphic than this book. Seriously, though I would still pay money to go to a Prince soundtrack wedding (circa early career to mid-90s songs).
I was also looking for anal in it only to find none since that was mentioned in the book as something this guy liked to do. With all the buildup, you expected it to happen & it didn't.
One other thing: with the book written from the virgin female character's perspective (whose name also sounds like she just stepped off a porn set according to hubby), I totally understand how Psycho Boy lost his mind after we gave our virginity to each other. I did not lose my damn mind after I first had sex; I did not have illusions of turning some guy into a "flowers & hearts kind of guy" like this character does. She reminded me of Psycho Boy in his attempt to change me into a "flowers & hearts" kind of gal who'd go run off with him into the sunset. Getting that insight was interesting & I finally understood it more when my family claimed I ruined this guy. Sure, I was like "this is great" when I first did it but I had better later on (much, MUCH better in fact) & it was a lot about rebellion from the strict upbringing I had along with having a means to do it without having anyone I had to go to class with or deal with regularly finding out information I didn't want them to know. Man, if they knew some of that stuff I'd have never had any peace or quiet & would likely have been disappointed with lack of skills. You have to work to impress redheads. Case in point: Vampire Boy had far more sexual experience than me when I met him (he was my 3rd; I was his 10th) & he actually told me I was the best he'd ever had in that realm.
Personally, I don't think I ruined Psycho Boy even to this day considering I was prepared & deliberate in my choice to lose my virginity. If he wasn't, he shouldn't have lied to me about being mature enough to handle it. Not all women are trying to make a man into a "flowers & hearts kind of guy." We can be just as cold and unfeeling as any guy. Nor did I do anything I knew I'd regret later on.
Oh, and the money thing. I should mention the male lead in this book is a guy with tons of money & that's presented as part of this woman's attraction to him. Unlike many people, that shit doesn't impress me; it's more likely to piss me off. I remember dating my husband & saying that if he'd come from money, we wouldn't be together. In my view, the money thing goes to class & how you grew up. A person who grew up having to work for things due to lack of money has a very different mentality and mindset from someone who didn't (unless maybe that person wasn't coddled by their parents & there was no perk to having $ that factored into their upbringing like no bailouts or paying for college). I don't care how nice or compassionate you are about it; people from 2 different worlds on that end are never going to truly understand each other in a romantic context. It's just so much a part of who you are & how you handle situations as an adult that I don't think you can really understand it if you haven't lived it. I knew a rich guy would never be able to fully understand me & probably couldn't accept the fact that I wasn't going to be bought or take shit from him b/c of his net worth.
Not being able to fully understand someone means, in my book, that you can never truly love that person for himself/herself. Then if you can't love that person fully, how can you possibly have a future together? As my mind ran & still does, you can't! You just can't. It's the same thing with differences in education.
My own academic prowess & background is something so integral to who I am and what I believe in that if you weren't as educated or had that drive to get an education, you'd never fully get me. My own mother warned me about that when I was dating Psycho Boy & I feel that relationship proved that point.
That's not to say you couldn't be friends with people from different socioeconomic backgrounds. I have some myself; you just sort of have an unspoken agreement that you don't say or do certain things since you know it would be hitting below the belt.
Now to get sleep. Remember, if you're going to write graphic sex scenes go big or go home (as the saying goes)!
Showing posts with label directness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label directness. Show all posts
Monday, June 25, 2012
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Undercover as an Extra - Guess I'm No Longer an "Ugly Girl"
So officially, I can no longer be referred to as an "ugly" girl or someone who is unattractive. Whoever casts extras for Gossip Girl recently picked me to portray a member of the fashion elite i.e. one of the "beautiful people" as part of background work. I was doing this Monday & yesterday in my very first gig as an extra for Central Casting.
You won't read plot lines here since even if I hadn't signed a form agreeing not to discuss it, I know why they don't want that getting out & if it were me, I'd make certain we did the very same thing. I'm going to talk about my human observations & experiences.
Now, I've heard many stories about the experiences of being an extra. How some sets are abusive while some are tons of fun. Different stories from different people I know. As an actress who is also an entertainment law attorney & partner in her own indie film company, there's no real reason I have to do extra work. I don't have to go garner favor from people, I have no shortage of people who think I have talent & when someone is so impressed with you after seeing you audition that they want you to create your own character in their comedy show + say you're almost too good at the lead role, that means you are nobody's slouch.
Let's face it: I'm in the position to get significant creative opportunities your average actor or even actor/attorney in a different field would never get. Even SAG membership is not something I have to go around begging or groveling for since I will have significant chances to get it sooner or later. For those of you outside the industry or who are novices, people would KILL to get into SAG & oftentimes, if you aren't a member you do not get to move up in your career.
The entertainment industry has spoken in many ways but this is the final word: for those of you jerkwads who called me "ugly" as a kid or think redheads aren't pretty, piss off.
Out of all the background people at my 2 days, I was the only natural redhead present out of over 100. The only person with even my hair shade. Actually, that includes everyone working in front of the camera on the show. I also brought 2 wheeled suitcases for wardrobe checks & had a very distinct coat (my fake fur leopard print that I wear when it's subzero outside). Random non-background people w/the show even complimented my ensemble as did the wardrobe people. Even the hair person doing my hair complimented its color. The red hair compliments happen a lot but still, I always respond politely since I never get sick of compliments in general.
So, without further adieu, some observations & comments:
1. Actors are a very, VERY whiny bunch: Don't get mad at me for saying this but the behind the scenes people have a very valid point here.
When I first arrived, I heard some vicious things about Central Casting & a woman working with the wardrobe department. One actress near me was talking about how this woman was evil, that she hated her & that this woman had apparently driven some background person to tears.
My experience was that perhaps this woman was a little brusque when we were determining a line up for coats but was polite to me the next day when she checked me in for the wardrobe match-ups. I have no room to say a word about brusqueness since I'm certainly a ball buster when I have to be. People have certainly taken issue w/my tone on things & I admit to being quite blunt.
The same goes for the first Assistant Director named Peter. He had to tell the background people numerous times to be quiet & instruct us ladies in high heels to walk quietly while going up & down the stairs. After we were done with one particular scene, I heard a different background actress have a HUGE conniption fit over the high heel thing. I also heard some very unflattering remarks about this man from other actors on the talking. I even overheard the director, the legendary Andrew McCarthy of '80s film fame, getting annoyed w/the loud chattering.
If Peter or some friend of his happens to read this, he should know that this entertainment attorney/indie film company executive approves wholeheartedly. He was far more polite than I'd likely have been. I'd have started having people released & encouraged the folk managing the extras to call talkers out in front of everyone. Insubordination doesn't fly with me or in the legal arena & if it happened in my company, I'd hear about it in a moment. You have to nip that in the bud.
Plus, I figured out how to master the quiet shoe thing w/out foam on the bottom: you plant your feet very slowly and/or walk on your toes.
Tell me, is following directions difficult? When they say "don't talk", you don't keep talking. You shut the hell up! That's not hard. When someone tells you to do something, you do your damnedest to make it happen.
I was in one section where I was near an entrance to the set. People kept coming in behind this fabric over the door. After it kept up, I asked the person at the door if we could have a signal or something to alert us when someone was coming in so people at this door wouldn't get hurt. The person agreed to knock. When we heard it, we pulled up the fabric so people could get in. After a point, I felt like they should be paying me for PA work since so many people were going in & out.
Perhaps it's because I'm an industry insider but I believe in not making life more difficult for people. I was on set for a day when Cookies & Cream was being filmed. To my mind, my task was to make sure things were going as they should & our biggest name, Ardie Fuqua, was taken care of. He was nice enough to take time from his schedule to work in our film so it's the least we could do.
I heard a LOT of complaint about changed directions & positions from person to person. A tip to note: things can change on a set. The director may want to try something different or your outfit may be causing a glare someplace. God only knows. Be flexible & don't bitch about it.
Scott Powers of the Scott Powers Studio offers a list of Weekly Tips.
While I don't publicly endorse him since I've never attended any of the forums or used his workshops, I will say that these tips are extremely spot on from my experience as an insider. Many of these tips will tell you similar things that I'm saying: I recall one in particular that says not to trash agencies & others because word does travel and you can be blacklisted. I also don't think he'd publicly support someone like the con artist at the sham TV network I dealt with last year.
Hearing these comments in this capacity is even worse than trashing a former employer in a job interview. I was present & saw the conduct of the people you trashed firsthand so you don't even have the advantage of making me wonder whether some former employer indeed violated labor laws, used racial slurs against you, sexually harassed you, etc.
2. Watch how you treat EVERYONE: This doesn't just go to background people. This goes for PAs, crew folk, directors, ANYONE! I don't care how big a name you are or how known you are. You never know who might be a non-union insider like me. Major big-wigs in this business will instantly be nice to an attorney, especially an entertainment attorney. Even a newbie like me has gotten this sort of treatment & others have told me similar stories. We're not even talking about your average background slave type; I'm speaking of executives, industry veterans, people who might be truly nasty to you if you weren't one. People with very impressive jobs in the business have point blank told me they were impressed with my background or admired me for doing all that I have. I've not even reached my apex yet.
Because I did not walk onto this set with a plan to get fawned over just for my job or my credentials, I only told a few people my second day in. One person from the TV network scam came up to me at lunch yesterday & vouched for me. He said I was actually one of the nicest people w/the company & seemed to care since I warned people about the scam. I pointed out my obligations as an attorney & that I warned people I truly felt had a shot in the business based on their behavior toward me. He did agree not to loudly or publicly out me.
As for the bigger name folk with the show or anyone else, the people getting trashed by the background are the people I'd love to deal with. Those people will get things done & be efficient instead of being too soft or letting anyone ride them. I have to admire that in others since I'm the same way.
I didn't see star trips or rudeness toward me or others from the "names" but no one really acknowledged me either even though the show's director did personally direct me & some other extras in one scene since we were right near the show's action. More on that in a bit.
But for now, they at least did graduate from my disdain to my indifference. Meaning I won't hold your work on a show I don't care for against you but I'm also not going to vouch for you among my partners if you or your agent comes in wanting to work with us. To get me to vouch for you, you'd better reach out to me first instead of expecting a meeting b/c you said you worked w/me & pointing to my IMDB page as evidence (if my gig gets listed there). They'll just ask me about it anyway. Plus, doing that before you speak to the person first is bad form (especially in entertainment).
Oh, and if you're SAG? Don't get cocky about getting to eat lunch first. I saw a SAG guy doing this while us non-union folk were waiting in line? Do you think that after you do that to me, I'm letting you get involved w/my company? Ha! You won't even make it to the audition b/c I'll tell my partners & they'll tell the casting people.
That's a character flaw none of us need or want in our lives. That's a turd who'll abuse PAs & belongs in permanent background limbo. Wish I'd gotten his name but I know what he played (wasn't one of the beautiful people). Star trips: contrary to legend, you'd better not try it with producers, executives, the people who can get you an audition or keep you out permanently. It's happened to countless actors, even big names who got too big for their britches (as my mom would say).
3. PETA has done something vicious to big name TV production companies: The content of my coats was a huge issue. The wardrobe people told me point blank that they couldn't use anything w/real fur. They also had to put me in a different spot b/c of my other coat looking like a real fur coat.
Damn you, PETA! While I'm not anti-animal per se, I'm a pragmatist. I have a real rabbit skin coat that belonged to my husband's grandmother along w/a few real fur items. This coat has probably existed long before I was born so what would you have me do now? It keeps you warm, it has function & when you don't have money, it's not the time to get hung up on particular principles. I would not demand a custom real fur to be made for me but if the animal has long been dead, what good does it do to reject that product when someone else will take it?
I also have a hard time taking PETA seriously when many of the members are hypocrites & attempt to promote censorship + shut down various industries instead of provide a reasoned viewpoint. Whether I eat meat or not is not your business. They're just as bad as religious zealots & I have a huge problem w/anyone daring to control my life.
Unless these people want to start PAYING for my monthly expenses, the extra costs of organic items & generally any cost difference resulting from traditional items vs. organic or animal friendly products for everyone who can't afford it, it's time to shut the hell up. Until you put your money where your mouth is, you have no room to criticize anyone for doing the best they can when they are broke. I will fight anyone to the death on that point.
4. We see right through you: Oh, I do! After mentioning that people treat you different when they hear about a background like mine, many actors joined that chorus of "Oh, I don't suck up to people. I act however they treat me." You don't fool me, kid! I look for behavior, I look for actions. Talk is extremely cheap, especially in the business. Let me see how you conduct yourself & get lessons. I made this disclosure to one person who spent a lot of time not following directions & apparently spoke to the actor who knew me from the scam fest. I'll say this: I didn't hear him trashing folks after that.
One actress I spoke to on this was quite pleasant & had I seen her when I left, I would have given her my card but I'm easy to find. After all, I bought my name for my website domain name & the first results on Google are my film company, LinkedIn profile, etc.
5. Being the only person with your look helps: I got moved up close to the action on Tuesday. I suppose I got some choicer spots the day before but every time I tried turning on my laptop to see if I could get Internet or do some corrections to sample legal documents so I'd have viable samples when I need them, it seems like I was needed on the set. Then I was put in one point & was moved up when Heather, the woman placing extras says "The redhead! Come here."
If I make it to the air, you're most definitely going to see me if you look. If someone's looking for a redhead, chances are you'd see me. As I said, I was also placed in areas close to the action w/very few others around me, in fact making it to the camera. I was put in places enough that she started to know me by name.
At one point, Andrew McCarthy himself directed me & the extras around me for one scene where we were reacting to the main action. I did inject some creativity into mine, sort of doing this slight double take but it was entirely on instinct.
6. Abuse? This is nothing: Going back to #1, I was absolutely right that being a background player was far less demeaning than doing document review (despite better pay for document review). In document review, there was extensive draconian behavior & a particular "little Hitler" who was supervising the only assignment I did. Not to mention the inconsistency of policies. At least when background was told to be quiet, ALL the background had to shut up. They didn't let one or two get away with it like what happened in the assignment I was at when that guy was on his cell phone so loud, you could hear his conversation while the reviewers couldn't talk to their seatmates.
At least in being an extra, you get some flexibility for creativity. I attempted some on my own, perhaps instinctively. You get encouraged to do that in entertainment. In a law firm, HA! They may as well hire robots to be associates. I'm honestly shocked that hasn't happened w/the utter discouragement of creativity in that field.
They don't feed you the things you get from being an extra. No "crafty" breaks w/food & no lavish lunches. You're lucky to get pizza on Fridays & the occasional bagel breakfast. Here? Much better stuff. Partly due to union rules but far superior to what you'd get on document review, which requires just as many hours.
7. SAG vs. Non-Union: If you're SAG, you eat first and get paid more but you work longer hours. I like seeing my husband so I didn't mind going home when I did. Plus, I did get more sleep.
8. If I got famous, I'd need this shirt from T-Shirt Hell: The first day I was on set, we were outside part of the time. I saw tons of onlookers w/cameras taking pictures with flashes. It made me laugh when I figured these people were looking for big shots & likely just got PAs and background people in their shots.
Tuesday, when we were leaving the set, I saw more onlookers in the area we had to travel from.
It also pissed me off, though. I felt like a zoo animal or some celebrity dealing with paparazzi. How do you famous faces deal with it? I'd hate all the restrictions on my life and travel.
I have even more sympathy for it after having to experience it myself but God help you if you ever piss me off. If I'm getting this onslaught on you, that means you did something truly nasty like harming one of my family members/business associates/friends. You'd love my non-star struck family, though. Especially my mother, who's still nobody's "yes woman" & probably explains a lot about why I am as I am.
I also understand why people in the business end up with drug and alcohol addictions. I think I did beforehand but after doing this for 2 days & seeing some of it, I definitely get it.
The verdict: Would I do this again? Sure, if I have time, the right outfit & think a particular background role might be up my alley. I'm married so no nudity, kissing, etc. I also don't think I'd be able to play hooker since I'm a bit more demure & evoke too much class to be truly convincing. I'm not too certain what you'd call "my type" since I do look so different & sort of am a minority unto myself; I'm of the "here I am, decide where you want to put me" school.
So thanks, Central Casting & Gossip Girl extras casting folk for proving to me once and for all that I actually am pretty. That self-esteem boost made my century & will give me ammo against anyone trying to underplay or disparage my looks.
I also saw professionalism, contrary to what any whiny factions might have to say. Apparently, some background people consider this set to be miserable but that really wasn't my experience. I was completely shocked when that actor who recognized me said I was "nice" because I can be very nasty when someone's irked me. Hell, I'm "the enforcer" so anyone doing their own enforcing is okay in my book if our end purpose matches up.
So next time you have the experience of background work or have people come in for it, there may very well be an industry insider in your midst who could make you or break you.
You won't read plot lines here since even if I hadn't signed a form agreeing not to discuss it, I know why they don't want that getting out & if it were me, I'd make certain we did the very same thing. I'm going to talk about my human observations & experiences.
Now, I've heard many stories about the experiences of being an extra. How some sets are abusive while some are tons of fun. Different stories from different people I know. As an actress who is also an entertainment law attorney & partner in her own indie film company, there's no real reason I have to do extra work. I don't have to go garner favor from people, I have no shortage of people who think I have talent & when someone is so impressed with you after seeing you audition that they want you to create your own character in their comedy show + say you're almost too good at the lead role, that means you are nobody's slouch.
Let's face it: I'm in the position to get significant creative opportunities your average actor or even actor/attorney in a different field would never get. Even SAG membership is not something I have to go around begging or groveling for since I will have significant chances to get it sooner or later. For those of you outside the industry or who are novices, people would KILL to get into SAG & oftentimes, if you aren't a member you do not get to move up in your career.
The entertainment industry has spoken in many ways but this is the final word: for those of you jerkwads who called me "ugly" as a kid or think redheads aren't pretty, piss off.
Out of all the background people at my 2 days, I was the only natural redhead present out of over 100. The only person with even my hair shade. Actually, that includes everyone working in front of the camera on the show. I also brought 2 wheeled suitcases for wardrobe checks & had a very distinct coat (my fake fur leopard print that I wear when it's subzero outside). Random non-background people w/the show even complimented my ensemble as did the wardrobe people. Even the hair person doing my hair complimented its color. The red hair compliments happen a lot but still, I always respond politely since I never get sick of compliments in general.
So, without further adieu, some observations & comments:
1. Actors are a very, VERY whiny bunch: Don't get mad at me for saying this but the behind the scenes people have a very valid point here.
When I first arrived, I heard some vicious things about Central Casting & a woman working with the wardrobe department. One actress near me was talking about how this woman was evil, that she hated her & that this woman had apparently driven some background person to tears.
My experience was that perhaps this woman was a little brusque when we were determining a line up for coats but was polite to me the next day when she checked me in for the wardrobe match-ups. I have no room to say a word about brusqueness since I'm certainly a ball buster when I have to be. People have certainly taken issue w/my tone on things & I admit to being quite blunt.
The same goes for the first Assistant Director named Peter. He had to tell the background people numerous times to be quiet & instruct us ladies in high heels to walk quietly while going up & down the stairs. After we were done with one particular scene, I heard a different background actress have a HUGE conniption fit over the high heel thing. I also heard some very unflattering remarks about this man from other actors on the talking. I even overheard the director, the legendary Andrew McCarthy of '80s film fame, getting annoyed w/the loud chattering.
If Peter or some friend of his happens to read this, he should know that this entertainment attorney/indie film company executive approves wholeheartedly. He was far more polite than I'd likely have been. I'd have started having people released & encouraged the folk managing the extras to call talkers out in front of everyone. Insubordination doesn't fly with me or in the legal arena & if it happened in my company, I'd hear about it in a moment. You have to nip that in the bud.
Plus, I figured out how to master the quiet shoe thing w/out foam on the bottom: you plant your feet very slowly and/or walk on your toes.
Tell me, is following directions difficult? When they say "don't talk", you don't keep talking. You shut the hell up! That's not hard. When someone tells you to do something, you do your damnedest to make it happen.
I was in one section where I was near an entrance to the set. People kept coming in behind this fabric over the door. After it kept up, I asked the person at the door if we could have a signal or something to alert us when someone was coming in so people at this door wouldn't get hurt. The person agreed to knock. When we heard it, we pulled up the fabric so people could get in. After a point, I felt like they should be paying me for PA work since so many people were going in & out.
Perhaps it's because I'm an industry insider but I believe in not making life more difficult for people. I was on set for a day when Cookies & Cream was being filmed. To my mind, my task was to make sure things were going as they should & our biggest name, Ardie Fuqua, was taken care of. He was nice enough to take time from his schedule to work in our film so it's the least we could do.
I heard a LOT of complaint about changed directions & positions from person to person. A tip to note: things can change on a set. The director may want to try something different or your outfit may be causing a glare someplace. God only knows. Be flexible & don't bitch about it.
Scott Powers of the Scott Powers Studio offers a list of Weekly Tips.
While I don't publicly endorse him since I've never attended any of the forums or used his workshops, I will say that these tips are extremely spot on from my experience as an insider. Many of these tips will tell you similar things that I'm saying: I recall one in particular that says not to trash agencies & others because word does travel and you can be blacklisted. I also don't think he'd publicly support someone like the con artist at the sham TV network I dealt with last year.
Hearing these comments in this capacity is even worse than trashing a former employer in a job interview. I was present & saw the conduct of the people you trashed firsthand so you don't even have the advantage of making me wonder whether some former employer indeed violated labor laws, used racial slurs against you, sexually harassed you, etc.
2. Watch how you treat EVERYONE: This doesn't just go to background people. This goes for PAs, crew folk, directors, ANYONE! I don't care how big a name you are or how known you are. You never know who might be a non-union insider like me. Major big-wigs in this business will instantly be nice to an attorney, especially an entertainment attorney. Even a newbie like me has gotten this sort of treatment & others have told me similar stories. We're not even talking about your average background slave type; I'm speaking of executives, industry veterans, people who might be truly nasty to you if you weren't one. People with very impressive jobs in the business have point blank told me they were impressed with my background or admired me for doing all that I have. I've not even reached my apex yet.
Because I did not walk onto this set with a plan to get fawned over just for my job or my credentials, I only told a few people my second day in. One person from the TV network scam came up to me at lunch yesterday & vouched for me. He said I was actually one of the nicest people w/the company & seemed to care since I warned people about the scam. I pointed out my obligations as an attorney & that I warned people I truly felt had a shot in the business based on their behavior toward me. He did agree not to loudly or publicly out me.
As for the bigger name folk with the show or anyone else, the people getting trashed by the background are the people I'd love to deal with. Those people will get things done & be efficient instead of being too soft or letting anyone ride them. I have to admire that in others since I'm the same way.
I didn't see star trips or rudeness toward me or others from the "names" but no one really acknowledged me either even though the show's director did personally direct me & some other extras in one scene since we were right near the show's action. More on that in a bit.
But for now, they at least did graduate from my disdain to my indifference. Meaning I won't hold your work on a show I don't care for against you but I'm also not going to vouch for you among my partners if you or your agent comes in wanting to work with us. To get me to vouch for you, you'd better reach out to me first instead of expecting a meeting b/c you said you worked w/me & pointing to my IMDB page as evidence (if my gig gets listed there). They'll just ask me about it anyway. Plus, doing that before you speak to the person first is bad form (especially in entertainment).
Oh, and if you're SAG? Don't get cocky about getting to eat lunch first. I saw a SAG guy doing this while us non-union folk were waiting in line? Do you think that after you do that to me, I'm letting you get involved w/my company? Ha! You won't even make it to the audition b/c I'll tell my partners & they'll tell the casting people.
That's a character flaw none of us need or want in our lives. That's a turd who'll abuse PAs & belongs in permanent background limbo. Wish I'd gotten his name but I know what he played (wasn't one of the beautiful people). Star trips: contrary to legend, you'd better not try it with producers, executives, the people who can get you an audition or keep you out permanently. It's happened to countless actors, even big names who got too big for their britches (as my mom would say).
3. PETA has done something vicious to big name TV production companies: The content of my coats was a huge issue. The wardrobe people told me point blank that they couldn't use anything w/real fur. They also had to put me in a different spot b/c of my other coat looking like a real fur coat.
Damn you, PETA! While I'm not anti-animal per se, I'm a pragmatist. I have a real rabbit skin coat that belonged to my husband's grandmother along w/a few real fur items. This coat has probably existed long before I was born so what would you have me do now? It keeps you warm, it has function & when you don't have money, it's not the time to get hung up on particular principles. I would not demand a custom real fur to be made for me but if the animal has long been dead, what good does it do to reject that product when someone else will take it?
I also have a hard time taking PETA seriously when many of the members are hypocrites & attempt to promote censorship + shut down various industries instead of provide a reasoned viewpoint. Whether I eat meat or not is not your business. They're just as bad as religious zealots & I have a huge problem w/anyone daring to control my life.
Unless these people want to start PAYING for my monthly expenses, the extra costs of organic items & generally any cost difference resulting from traditional items vs. organic or animal friendly products for everyone who can't afford it, it's time to shut the hell up. Until you put your money where your mouth is, you have no room to criticize anyone for doing the best they can when they are broke. I will fight anyone to the death on that point.
4. We see right through you: Oh, I do! After mentioning that people treat you different when they hear about a background like mine, many actors joined that chorus of "Oh, I don't suck up to people. I act however they treat me." You don't fool me, kid! I look for behavior, I look for actions. Talk is extremely cheap, especially in the business. Let me see how you conduct yourself & get lessons. I made this disclosure to one person who spent a lot of time not following directions & apparently spoke to the actor who knew me from the scam fest. I'll say this: I didn't hear him trashing folks after that.
One actress I spoke to on this was quite pleasant & had I seen her when I left, I would have given her my card but I'm easy to find. After all, I bought my name for my website domain name & the first results on Google are my film company, LinkedIn profile, etc.
5. Being the only person with your look helps: I got moved up close to the action on Tuesday. I suppose I got some choicer spots the day before but every time I tried turning on my laptop to see if I could get Internet or do some corrections to sample legal documents so I'd have viable samples when I need them, it seems like I was needed on the set. Then I was put in one point & was moved up when Heather, the woman placing extras says "The redhead! Come here."
If I make it to the air, you're most definitely going to see me if you look. If someone's looking for a redhead, chances are you'd see me. As I said, I was also placed in areas close to the action w/very few others around me, in fact making it to the camera. I was put in places enough that she started to know me by name.
At one point, Andrew McCarthy himself directed me & the extras around me for one scene where we were reacting to the main action. I did inject some creativity into mine, sort of doing this slight double take but it was entirely on instinct.
6. Abuse? This is nothing: Going back to #1, I was absolutely right that being a background player was far less demeaning than doing document review (despite better pay for document review). In document review, there was extensive draconian behavior & a particular "little Hitler" who was supervising the only assignment I did. Not to mention the inconsistency of policies. At least when background was told to be quiet, ALL the background had to shut up. They didn't let one or two get away with it like what happened in the assignment I was at when that guy was on his cell phone so loud, you could hear his conversation while the reviewers couldn't talk to their seatmates.
At least in being an extra, you get some flexibility for creativity. I attempted some on my own, perhaps instinctively. You get encouraged to do that in entertainment. In a law firm, HA! They may as well hire robots to be associates. I'm honestly shocked that hasn't happened w/the utter discouragement of creativity in that field.
They don't feed you the things you get from being an extra. No "crafty" breaks w/food & no lavish lunches. You're lucky to get pizza on Fridays & the occasional bagel breakfast. Here? Much better stuff. Partly due to union rules but far superior to what you'd get on document review, which requires just as many hours.
7. SAG vs. Non-Union: If you're SAG, you eat first and get paid more but you work longer hours. I like seeing my husband so I didn't mind going home when I did. Plus, I did get more sleep.
8. If I got famous, I'd need this shirt from T-Shirt Hell: The first day I was on set, we were outside part of the time. I saw tons of onlookers w/cameras taking pictures with flashes. It made me laugh when I figured these people were looking for big shots & likely just got PAs and background people in their shots.
Tuesday, when we were leaving the set, I saw more onlookers in the area we had to travel from.
It also pissed me off, though. I felt like a zoo animal or some celebrity dealing with paparazzi. How do you famous faces deal with it? I'd hate all the restrictions on my life and travel.
I have even more sympathy for it after having to experience it myself but God help you if you ever piss me off. If I'm getting this onslaught on you, that means you did something truly nasty like harming one of my family members/business associates/friends. You'd love my non-star struck family, though. Especially my mother, who's still nobody's "yes woman" & probably explains a lot about why I am as I am.
I also understand why people in the business end up with drug and alcohol addictions. I think I did beforehand but after doing this for 2 days & seeing some of it, I definitely get it.
The verdict: Would I do this again? Sure, if I have time, the right outfit & think a particular background role might be up my alley. I'm married so no nudity, kissing, etc. I also don't think I'd be able to play hooker since I'm a bit more demure & evoke too much class to be truly convincing. I'm not too certain what you'd call "my type" since I do look so different & sort of am a minority unto myself; I'm of the "here I am, decide where you want to put me" school.
So thanks, Central Casting & Gossip Girl extras casting folk for proving to me once and for all that I actually am pretty. That self-esteem boost made my century & will give me ammo against anyone trying to underplay or disparage my looks.
I also saw professionalism, contrary to what any whiny factions might have to say. Apparently, some background people consider this set to be miserable but that really wasn't my experience. I was completely shocked when that actor who recognized me said I was "nice" because I can be very nasty when someone's irked me. Hell, I'm "the enforcer" so anyone doing their own enforcing is okay in my book if our end purpose matches up.
So next time you have the experience of background work or have people come in for it, there may very well be an industry insider in your midst who could make you or break you.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
If You've Got Something to Say....
say it to my fucking face, all right? If there's anything I can't stand, it's people who are nice to your face & cut you down behind your back. That kind of crap made me so hyper-paranoid in high school, I literally couldn't trust most of my classmates. In fact, I probably have trust issues to this day b/c of all that.
I had to deal w/all of it so much b/c I was a smart kid. Meaning I had to take classes w/other smart kids. A lot of them didn't like me because of being poor & probably being a redhead. Who knows the real reasons? Fact remains, I had to deal with too much of this crap. Going to the earlier mentioned private school as a child also didn't help since this kind of thing was rampant there too.
Eventually I made friends who told me it didn't matter & not to worry about these gossipy bitches. That was in 8th grade. Those friendships got me through all that & are why I became the assertive person I am today.
My husband hates this as well. I don't know his personal experiences on it but recently, he's been having problems w/a co-worker who's now earned himself the title of "ex-friend." Here goes:
There was a staff meeting on the day our car was having problems & he wasn't feeling well. Apparently, some of his co-workers took that opportunity to hold a "trash The Angry Redheaded Lawyer's Husband" session. The right people took up for him & basically aren't the living embodiment of why people hate unions.
So Dead Man Walking doesn't say a word to my beloved about all this. Not even to tell him who said what or how he felt, unlike a number of others at this job. I found this suspicious & have not wanted to do a damn thing for this guy or his family since I learned about it. Hubby tries to do something nice back when I think my day job is legit & I tell him right there to forget it. Hey, if you're the person w/the connections then YOU get to decide who will or will not benefit from them.
Yesterday, Dead Man Walking decides to stand on doing a half-assed job for one of their customers. My husband says something to him when the customer still needs help & he chooses to sit on his ass & do nothing. He then has the nerve to say "You're not my supervisor." Despite the fact my husband has somewhat mentored this person & is supposed to be his "friend," he has the gall to do it.
My dearest wanted to punch him in the face right there. See why I'm calling this guy "Dead Man Walking?" He'd better hope he doesn't see me or speak to me b/c I have words for him & they won't be nice ones. Maybe hubby can get fired for telling him off or have problems in the workplace from it but I can't & I have every right to decide who will benefit from my connections.
Since my husband tends to leave unfinished business & I like to make it clear as crystal that you'd better stay the hell away from me once you've crossed me, I'm tempted to call this man up & tell him I know what he did + he'd better start talking right now about any issue w/my spouse. Oh, and say point blank not to expect to go ANYPLACE I have access to, could invite him to or benefit in any way, shape or form from my career, my connections or anything associated w/me in any form. Don't ask me for a place to stay if you have marriage problems. Don't ask me to have you meet famous people, pass along your movie ideas, get you a job or even help your child get started in the business.
Don't even ask for a cup of sugar from me once you've crossed me. I wouldn't give you water in the desert if you were dying of thirst if you've pissed me off & shown zero remorse for it. I don't want to hear your sob stories & would leave you to die in the street w/out a second though.
My compassion died out years ago when I was being tormented by assholes. Go blame them if you want me to be a doormat. Oh, and I feel like that about EVERYONE; it doesn't matter to me what race, sexual orientation, creed, religion, income level or whatever you are. If you are on my bad side, you're going to know it. An offense against my husband, my friends, my business associates or anyone else I care about is the same as doing it to me directly. I feel you only have to put up w/BS in 3 situations.
They are:
1. A job or graduate/law/medical school (anyplace where you might deal w/these
people again)
2. A big mob like New Year's Eve at Times Square
3. Dealing w/cops or law enforcement like judges, investigators, etc. This changes
if they try to rape you or do something extreme.
Otherwise, I don't deal with it. Not even based on being family since there's lots of relatives we don't deal w/because of their behavior.
I just see my husband's unfinished business popping up the minute anything major happens to me & by extension, him. I don't want to deal with it so that's why I'm ready to not even polite in those situations; I might even get an assistant to handle it. You can't be nice & sweet to be effective at what I do. Many people think I'm nice & that's b/c they haven't done anything to deserve my wrath. They also know that I can either be your biggest supporter or your worst nightmare. Dead Man Walking just stepped into camp #2.
I had to deal w/all of it so much b/c I was a smart kid. Meaning I had to take classes w/other smart kids. A lot of them didn't like me because of being poor & probably being a redhead. Who knows the real reasons? Fact remains, I had to deal with too much of this crap. Going to the earlier mentioned private school as a child also didn't help since this kind of thing was rampant there too.
Eventually I made friends who told me it didn't matter & not to worry about these gossipy bitches. That was in 8th grade. Those friendships got me through all that & are why I became the assertive person I am today.
My husband hates this as well. I don't know his personal experiences on it but recently, he's been having problems w/a co-worker who's now earned himself the title of "ex-friend." Here goes:
There was a staff meeting on the day our car was having problems & he wasn't feeling well. Apparently, some of his co-workers took that opportunity to hold a "trash The Angry Redheaded Lawyer's Husband" session. The right people took up for him & basically aren't the living embodiment of why people hate unions.
So Dead Man Walking doesn't say a word to my beloved about all this. Not even to tell him who said what or how he felt, unlike a number of others at this job. I found this suspicious & have not wanted to do a damn thing for this guy or his family since I learned about it. Hubby tries to do something nice back when I think my day job is legit & I tell him right there to forget it. Hey, if you're the person w/the connections then YOU get to decide who will or will not benefit from them.
Yesterday, Dead Man Walking decides to stand on doing a half-assed job for one of their customers. My husband says something to him when the customer still needs help & he chooses to sit on his ass & do nothing. He then has the nerve to say "You're not my supervisor." Despite the fact my husband has somewhat mentored this person & is supposed to be his "friend," he has the gall to do it.
My dearest wanted to punch him in the face right there. See why I'm calling this guy "Dead Man Walking?" He'd better hope he doesn't see me or speak to me b/c I have words for him & they won't be nice ones. Maybe hubby can get fired for telling him off or have problems in the workplace from it but I can't & I have every right to decide who will benefit from my connections.
Since my husband tends to leave unfinished business & I like to make it clear as crystal that you'd better stay the hell away from me once you've crossed me, I'm tempted to call this man up & tell him I know what he did + he'd better start talking right now about any issue w/my spouse. Oh, and say point blank not to expect to go ANYPLACE I have access to, could invite him to or benefit in any way, shape or form from my career, my connections or anything associated w/me in any form. Don't ask me for a place to stay if you have marriage problems. Don't ask me to have you meet famous people, pass along your movie ideas, get you a job or even help your child get started in the business.
Don't even ask for a cup of sugar from me once you've crossed me. I wouldn't give you water in the desert if you were dying of thirst if you've pissed me off & shown zero remorse for it. I don't want to hear your sob stories & would leave you to die in the street w/out a second though.
My compassion died out years ago when I was being tormented by assholes. Go blame them if you want me to be a doormat. Oh, and I feel like that about EVERYONE; it doesn't matter to me what race, sexual orientation, creed, religion, income level or whatever you are. If you are on my bad side, you're going to know it. An offense against my husband, my friends, my business associates or anyone else I care about is the same as doing it to me directly. I feel you only have to put up w/BS in 3 situations.
They are:
1. A job or graduate/law/medical school (anyplace where you might deal w/these
people again)
2. A big mob like New Year's Eve at Times Square
3. Dealing w/cops or law enforcement like judges, investigators, etc. This changes
if they try to rape you or do something extreme.
Otherwise, I don't deal with it. Not even based on being family since there's lots of relatives we don't deal w/because of their behavior.
I just see my husband's unfinished business popping up the minute anything major happens to me & by extension, him. I don't want to deal with it so that's why I'm ready to not even polite in those situations; I might even get an assistant to handle it. You can't be nice & sweet to be effective at what I do. Many people think I'm nice & that's b/c they haven't done anything to deserve my wrath. They also know that I can either be your biggest supporter or your worst nightmare. Dead Man Walking just stepped into camp #2.
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