The Surreal Adventures of The Angry Redheaded Lawyer: "Vera & Valya & The Magical One Cat Circus" by Reckless Tricycle

Reckless Tricycle, a self described “young company interested in clowns, animals, dark farces and dumb ideas turned beautiful” brings its first offering to the New York stage in “Vera & Valya & The Magical One Cat Circus” at Standard Toykraft in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. This show is “a farce based on age old Russian fairy tales.” Though this is no way my field of expertise, I did find this show very entertaining.

This is the tale of two sisters, Vera (Sarah Traisman) and Valya (Nadja Leonhard-Hooper) who are cursed in their own ways. Vera is incapable of telling a lie at all and Valya falls in love with anyone who comes through the door to their small home out in the middle of nowhere part of Russia. Vera and Valya desperately want the great Victor Voronin (Jeremy Brick), the owner of the Moscow Cat Theater to recruit their magical cat Skaza (which means “furry tail”) for his show. Vera wrote Victor Voronin some years back and the sisters continue to train and await his arrival to see their great cat Skaza in action.

Reckless Tricycle, a young-and-hungry troupe of comedic writer/actors, makes its New York debut with "Vera & Valya & The Magical One Cat Circus," a farce based on age-old Russian fairytales, November 3 to 19, 2016 at Standard ToyKraft, 722 Metropolitan Ave., Brooklyn. The piece is conceived and written by Nadja Leonhard-Hooper and co-directed by her and Olivia McGiff with dramaturgy by Liesl Schillinger. L: Nadja Leonhard-Hooper as Vera. C: Collin Knopp-Schwyn as the Cat. R: Sarah Traisman as Valya. Photo by Jonathan Slaff.

Meanwhile Andrei (Patrick Brady), a detective who hunts for missing children, poses as Victor Voronin and proclaims that the sisters have actually tricked a small boy into believing he is a cat. As the sisters can't have their cat taken away if they want to achieve glory in the Moscow Cat Theater, they tie Andrei up until they can figure out what to do. While they are deciding Andrei's fate, the real Victor Voronin arrives to see this amazing act he's heard so much about.

Vera and Valya believe the Moscow Cat Theater is a theater patronized by cats but it turns out the cats are only the performers. Victor wants Skaza for their act but the sisters declare that Skaza only performs for other cats. Andrei escapes, the cast suddenly launches into a musical number and each sister's curse ends up being broken. Vera tells Victor where he can create the illusion of a magical cat that turns out to lead to the home of Baba Yaga, a which who will eat him just as she does all the capitalists. Valya declares she is no longer in love with Victor after he threatens to make Vera disappear.

In the absurd comedy "Vera & Valya & The Magical One Cat Circus" by Nadja Leonhard-Hooper, two sisters of Yaroslavl train a magical cat, hoping someday to join the illustrious Moscow Cat Theatre. L-R: Nadja Leonhard-Hooper as Vera, one of the two sisters (who falls in love with everone who comes through her door), Patrick Brady as a detective impersonating the producer of the Moscow Cat Theatre, Sarah Traisman as Valya, the other sister (who cannot tell a lie). Photo by Jonathan Slaff.

The venue is a literal warehouse space in so “underground” theater. If you long for the days where you could go to a show without pretension, barriers or stuffiness, you definitely have to check out Standard Toykraft in particular. I felt like I was attending a show in someone's indoor backyard in terms of design and lighting and loved the informality of the setting. They even had benches on the side for seating and a hanging basket chair in the lobby I had fun sitting and swinging in.

However, one should not equate informality to amateurism. This cast was amazing, especially Collin Knopp-Schwyn, who played Skazka (the magical cat). He conducted himself as a better cat than any human performer I have seen. He did the cat movements pitch perfect and sold this brilliantly even when I was watching and wondered if he was going to be able to keep the cat movements such as jumping. I love when he moved the hoop down to his level to jump through it with his “paw” as that's something my old cat Stormy would do if you held a treat up too high for his liking. In a twist of irony, Stormy was a Russian Blue.

There was interaction with the audience, a live mirroring exercise between the two Victors, a calling out of the accordion player who provided musical accompaniment and plenty of funny moments. No dull moments in this one though I'm not sure if this is the show to take small children to unless you are a more liberal parent. Teens would be fine, perhaps older or more precious children could understand and follow the humor of this story.

Here's hoping we see more from Reckless Tricycle through The Tank or some other venue.

Front row-- L: Sarah Traisman as Valya, C: Collin Knopp-Schwyn as the Cat, R: Nadja Leonhard-Hooper as Vera. Behind-- L: Patrick Brady as a detective impersonating the producer of the Moscow Cat Theatre. R: Jeremy Brick as Producer of the Moscow Cat Theatre. Photo by Jonathan Slaff.

Being an Actor: Reality vs. Fantasy

So based on remarks I've seen from non-entertainment people varying from The Jobless Juris Doctor (a law school scam blogger) to Facebook friends of people I am acquainted with on Facebook, I think it's time to clear up some misconceptions about what it's like to be an actor.

In the wake of the whole Charlie Sheen situation, I have seen everything from "Charlie's laughing all the way to the bank & could care less about burning bridges with producers." to "Acting is an easy job while being a lawyer is hard work." I even saw someone have the audacity to claim the rudest industry people alive would be mouthy to attorneys & I know from personal experience + conversations with other lawyers that that is a baldfaced lie.

For the sake of my actor friends, let's get a few things straight right now:

1. Acting is NOT easy!!!!!!!!! While not completely related to this topic, this Huffington Post article highlights some of the things actors have to go through.

There's also having to work when you don't feel well and dealing with some less than kind industry folk (there are some out there). It's the same kind of thing as having an attorney boss who thinks the paralegals & legal secretaries are slaves or lesser than him/her. While the people I know wouldn't actually treat actors like slaves & I've never personally witnessed it, I'm sure there are people somewhere who are openly hostile to actors.

2. Real actors are not in it for the money. Even the kids of celebrities have to start somewhere. You will NOT get paying jobs in acting if you haven't gotten at least some experience doing something. Theater, extra work, indie film, student films...there are plenty of gigs that offer NO pay. Being an actor is all about having to pay dues. If you're related to someone famous, you also have to deal with people assuming you are a dick or have entitlement issues.

Why do you think lots of people who became famous didn't cash in on family connections? Believe me, the ones who do that become much more respected since they aren't perceived as line jumpers or spoiled brats.

The average person only hears about the established, famous actors doing things (which are a very small percent of all actors) instead of your more typical working actor who is not earning a steady weekly paycheck working a 9-5 job.

If you start out in acting immediately demanding paid work, you're either going to be relegated to permanent extra work or eventually go broke because no one hires you.

How many times have you heard about actors walking away from roles where they were making obscene amounts of money, simply because they were sick of the role? Something else is at work besides money.

3. It takes FUCKING EFFORT to be an actor. You don't just read lines from a script. You have to make the material come alive and create a story that the audience wants to see. Bad acting can kill a project just as effectively as bad writing, bad promotion, etc.

Try memorizing 20 pages of lines in a week as well as rewrites that could be a short time before filming. There aren't many people who are memorization experts & that's what you have to do when filming a TV show. You may have more time for a film or theater but you still have to deal with rewrites, blocking (the movements you will perform while doing the scene), etc.

So, if you think acting is SOOOOO easy, I offer the same challenge to you that I offered to The Jobless Juris Doctor: do an acting project yourself. Theater, extra work involving exteriors on a cold day/little clothing/something out of your comfort zone, any project that will give you some perspective. Ideally, you'll have to memorize lines or spend a lot of time with many people.

Believe me, you're going to learn some things.

If you still think I, someone who actually WORKS in the entertainment industry + has done some stage performance, am less credible than your non-industry opinion or that of your non-industry friends, then you're an idiot. I'll have to ream you out for whining about YOUR job next since I'm sure someone has a harder one that you (including parenthood since there are people whose kids have worse ailments & handicaps).

Extra Gig #2: Driving Through Brooklyn, Freezing My Butt Off & Another Nail in the Ugly Girl Coffin

While still waiting to hear about the job opportunity (as of this moment, I STILL haven't heard anything though as of yesterday they are still interested in talking to me & my calls have been returned when I wasn't around), I saw an extra gig seeking "attractive news reporters w/cars." Since my car was not one of the undesired colors or styles, I decided to submit myself for the sake of having something to do as well as getting exercise for my car.

* When the car battery dies if you don't run it for 2 days, you tend to get concerned about making sure it gets some movement. *

So, I get selected for this role. It requires me to drive 15 minutes from home into an area of Brooklyn that's fairly decent. This time, the show was Law & Order: SVU. If you see me there, again I'll be shocked. I haven't watched that one either, so this will be another instance where someone else tells me if I'm on there. Again, I was the only redhead & no one even came close to looking like me. There were also fewer people this time.

I would really like to find people living in my city who look enough like me to really pass for me (being a natural redhead w/my shade is a prime requirement); they would likely have the same problems I've had & might also like the idea of fooling folk by switching places.

In middle school, there was a redhead who wore her hair straight while I wore mine curly & longer. Her name also started w/an "M" and people were always mixing me up with her. This mistaken identity issue even came up years later when I was at the Senior Class Picnic & the DJ claimed I'd dated a guy that she dated. The guy was merely a friend of mine in middle school; seems he came out after high school but there was talk of him being gay in high school. I was like "That was the other girl, not me!" I'm sure there are still some things people will swear I did b/c rumors about me were so pervasive despite my trying to debunk them, I just played along after a while. Yes, I DID go w/that guy in middle school who never said a word to me & was popular while I was being harassed by the gossipy bitch girls!

If my middle school/high school life had been Hollywood, I was definitely a tabloid celebrity. I had to deal w/most of the same people so I didn't really get much of a chance at reinvention.

So, here's how experience #2 went (no episode secrets will be revealed):

A) When I went to the parking area before my call time, there was NO parking + I could not get to the street I needed to be on. I called up Central Casting to tell them about this. They alerted the powers that be. Eventually I did get to a spot & made it inside, though a little late.

I did apologize for my lateness & apparently many people had that particular problem. The on-set reps handling check-ins were very understanding. More examples of the professionalism I like to see.

B) I saw yet another actor from the whole previous TV network scam. Not just any actor, though. This was the infamous one who irritated people & pissed them off. Apparently, this individual also ticked off someone I know from another sphere.

I'll give this individual a few things though: I won't hear about this person sleeping w/anyone to get to the top or putting more importance on background work than needed. This person also took my advice & got an entertainment lawyer to help her. I do have slightly more respect for her than I did previously.

Why do I keep seeing people who know me from that on these gigs? Killing my whole mission here.

C) I decide to bring in my heels that I normally wear w/business suits, closed toe & very corporate looking.

Unfortunately, the front of my feet were only separated from the windy, cold weather in shooting with pantyhose (you'd have seen my tights). I was outside a good chunk of time & had to run for my role. My feet became blocks of ice, I had no hat or gloves due to wardrobe's instructions & I wasn't sure if I could sprint in those shoes w/cold feet.

However, when it was time to go I did rise to the occasion. I made it where I needed to & did damn good for my feet being ice blocks. Guess those days of wearing heeled shoes all the time in high school came back to me.

One of the fellow background actors was shocked I actually did it. Hey, I work behind the scenes & believe in doing unto others. Call it an endurance test.

This is nothing compared to what the lead actress had to do. Apparently, she had to be on a cold car hood in much less clothing for her scene. I, at least, had a coat & scarf + was wearing pants.

D) Our holding area was in a very cold warehouse. Everyone was bundled up while waiting. Taking your gloves off wasn't smart in that setting.

Near the end of the day when I was on a higher floor to make phone calls (as I had no cell reception in the holding area & the bathroom did have reception), I was telling a crew person that they are much better people than me for working in these cold conditions. They are, in fact.

E) My car came in for pictures that may appear in the program. You'd see me on my cell phone + my coat open at the wardrobe person's instruction. I followed my direction very well & as I was leaving to go back, I was picked up then told to wait somewhere else in the scene. Eventually, we were not used & I got to go back inside.

I made it back home a little after 10 & did manage to find parking in my limited parking neighborhood.

Now for the takeaway lessons (as I feel maybe once I've done about 4-5 & ideally on different sets/situations, I'll be done w/the learning & observations).

1. There are extra roles I will not consider or take. Some examples are:

* Prostitute, escort, stripper, other "adult" type parts. I don't want to have to explain that sort of thing to attorneys from the bar associations I belong to, investors & anyone else I have to interact with on a business basis. Let's not even talk about explaining that to my 7 year old nephew or my parents, in-laws, etc.
* Rape or slasher movie victim w/out some lines. Again, don't want to have to explain that one.
* "Ugly" roles. Let's fact it: Central Casting or whomever is responsible for background on these 2 shows has spoken otherwise as to my looks. I probably do look like the TV version of particular things but I don't think I can convince anyone I can play "ugly."
* Anything involving nudity, kissing others (male, female or anywhere in between), sex scenes, etc. Being happily married & business credibility cover those reasons nicely.

Let's add exterior shots to that list if I'm not wearing temperature appropriate clothing. I don't really have to do background work so there's no need for me to do stuff like that. Once is enough.

2. I can drive through Brooklyn just fine. I drove though some convoluted parts & if I've got GPS or good directions, I'm just fine. I hadn't done it before & wasn't sure I could but seems all that driving in downtown Atlanta came in handy.

3. My artistic dedication tends to lead to me shooting myself in the foot. That whole perfectionist streak has trumped my personal comfort more than once. People need to watch me on that & reign it in if necessary.

4. I'm never going to be a full time actor. I do not have the dedication you need for it & my limits aren't going to change anytime soon. Those actors wearing bikinis in freezing cold weather are far better people than I am. You deserve respect for that & if you work w/me, I'll be making sure you get it as long as you don't piss me off.

I'm also never going to have representation, one of the hallmarks of a full time actor. Why not, you ask? It's hard to get it anyway but most people aren't professional advocates working in the industry like I am. I don't have the experience for higher ups to consider me & I don't think the lower rung people are going to be any better at it than me.

To me, getting some lower rung agent is like having someone w/a lower class grade than me do my homework. If I'm making an A in Geometry, why would I let someone who's making a C do my Geometry homework for me (presuming I'm not trying to sabotage myself)? That's just stupid. You'd have to convince me you were at least as good as me & I don't see that happening.

To me, it makes that representation search a total waste of time. I can just ask a trustworthy attorney friend to be a go-between instead of gambling on a total stranger.

Since actors need that stuff & I have limits, I don't think I'll ever be doing it full time unless I got to say "No" to things.

Think I'm wrong about representation as it pertains to me personally? Convince me why I should deal w/some lower rung person who doesn't have more knowledge than me, won't work as hard as me & doesn't have anything that I don't. Remember that I interned w/a very established talent agent in the past so I know the score here.

* Oh, and I did make an A in Geometry; I was one of only a few people taking it as a 9th grader & even had a few seniors in my class. My academic record was a main reason I never cheated; who would I get to cheat for me & do better than I could? No one.

If I get this other job clenched, I'll have even more reason not to consider some lower rung agent since I'll be making more industry contacts.

5. Never let an attorney get frostbitten or injured. The job market for the field is in the gutter, I'd sue & I've got six figure loan debt to repay. I can be creative & come up with a high damages figure.

This goes for any attorney, not just me. Some are 1,000 times worse in this kind of thing & do not have souls or a conscience.

Right now, I'm sick as a dog since I caught my husband's illness. Still had to go outside today, which sucked but at least I got my mailing done & the car started. Back to soothing a sore throat.

Who Says an Attorney Can't Be Creative???

Very shortly, those of you in the NYC area (or who actually venture there from NJ, CT or someplace else) will get to see my acting & singing talents on a more regular basis. I was asked to be an actor in a new sketch comedy group being formed by the producer of "The Gloria Glitter Show" (yes, where I'll also be creating a recurring character).

Now, I hadn't though about being an actor in the group + as a general rule, I don't ask for acting roles or to subject you to my singing or writing. I don't use my being someone's legal counsel, organizing their work or doing other behind the scenes stuff to inject myself into the creative side of the industry. I'm not Lucy Ricardo or some gatecrashing wannabe & think asking for such things would make me one. A lot of people I've met don't like being used for their career & getting hassled about such things. There are also factions of attorneys who use representing entertainment clients for just those purposes.

However, I've gotten opportunities to do things because creative people I work with asked me to audition for roles or to read at auditions. That's how I've gotten things: simple hard work & no preferential treatment. I think we should all operate that way. Talent & personality should come first; even if you've got some huge investor, that doesn't mean you walk in like you deserve something. Don't give me a job just because I'm doing your legal work or help you on behind the scenes stuff: give me a creative role or project because you think I'm capable of doing it. If I'm not, don't let me ruin things.

I also may be doing another writing gig for a blog that sums up who I am & perhaps creates a category for me where none actually existed. We'll see how that goes but it will mean you'll get more of my prose. I'm also happy someone else thinks highly of my writing abilities.

So who says you can't work in the industry because you're an attorney? Maybe it's because I have a creative background, sheer curiosity when I tell people about singing or acting someplace or even the fact that I'm more of a creative than a typical attorney but I have managed to get opportunities where others probably wouldn't.

I also make sure to tell attorneys who really want to work in entertainment not to work as entertainment lawyers in the hope of exploiting creative work. It's scummy & I'd hate one doing it to me. Hell, I'd really do a number on such folk since I despise most lawyers & that world as a whole; everyone I know would hear about it & hopefully blackball those people as well as tell their colleagues so they can be spared that nonsense.

I even have to finally get my headshots/resumes professionally printed since now there's a demand for them & they don't come out right at home. I'd meant to for ages but I didn't have the money. Side income has made it possible; I need to do more article writing soon but I've been doing so much stuff lately.

I'm also trying to come up w/game plans to contact people, move ahead on the ventures, write on my other big project, etc.

Hello, All You Happy People You

I borrowed that from Droopy. Cartoon dog, Tex Avery creation? I still like watching cartoons & Tex Avery did great stuff. Love Screwy Squirrel even though he apparently though Screwy was too nasty to people. I also figure I can dress as Red if I get the right outfit made for me & find a hair stylist to create the hairdo (might also have to get my hair cut but it's not like I'll ever get waist length hair).

On Sunday, I auditioned for a comedy show at the invitation of the person who created & stars in it. I swear, when I tell people I act & sing it's like an invitation for me to come in for auditions. This is the second time someone did that & was impressed w/my work.

I'm working on getting involved in this comedy show, my 3rd entertainment venture. After doing this reading, first off the producer found out I can sing & second, I was told to create a character who could show up on occasion but wasn't necessarily integral to the plot (largely b/c of my busy schedule & not knowing what I might be doing in a few months).

So right now, I'm developing ideas for characters & will get to perform at major comedy clubs in the city. As I was on the subway going home Sunday, it hit me that I don't have nearly the resume of the working actors I know but I'm here getting this shot. Kind of a leap from community theater, you know? I'll be in a show that people pay $ to see in the heart of Manhattan's Theater District!

Working on a different confidential project as well but I figure doing this stage performance will do a LOT for me professionally & personally:

A) Prepare me acting wise for the other project
B) Give me the chance to get on stage frequently, which I never get to do enough
C) Sing before an audience, something else I don't get to do except at karaoke
D) Develop a following that might see my other work or research other stuff I do, thereby not just helping me personally but the business ventures that have me
E) Furthering the dream, baby.

I'm not even thinking of large scale success; I'm just looking at the small stuff right now. Plus, it makes me feel more like a real creative type instead of someone who's just telling you about some play she did in high school.

I can also put this down as a great accomplishment that's mine & most people in my shoes can't claim.

So in light of the fact that being a performer is in my blood, why would I really consider most legal jobs? I found 2 ads today in the section that gave me a good laugh. First, the one for a lawyer:

Admitted Attorney needed in Manhattan (Downtown)
Date: 2010-07-19, 2:39PM EDT
Reply to: zhangandassociates@verizon.net [Errors when replying to ads?]

Manhattan small law firm needs an admitted attorney, no experience required. This law firm majorly practices in Immigration area. Good environment and good pay. Please email resume if interested.

* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.


PostingID: 1851488139

With all due respect, let me decide for myself if it's a good environment & good pay, all right? Your good environment could be my nightmare.

And continuing in the tradition of ridiculous internships:

Writing/Research Legal Internship - Fall (TriBeCa)
Date: 2010-07-20, 9:40AM EDT
Reply to: job-gjf58-1852812824@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Great Opportunity! Boutique international legal recruiting firm seeks a motivated, well-organized and student for an internship starting at the end of the summer into the fall. Candidate must have very strong writing and research skills and will be responsible for drafting our guide to top US and UK law firms in Asia and the Middle East as well as possibly overseeing our blog. Additional responsibilities will depend on your interests and skill set i.e. marketing, advertising, producing additional content, etc. The firm is run by a Harvard Law School grad and, while small, we provide a great work environment and an energetic atmosphere. Please note that this internship is unpaid with a possible stipend and commissions depending on the time commitment and candidate. This is a great opportunity for a undergraduate or law student to get work published, become intimately familiar with the Asia and Middle East legal markets and make contacts in the international legal world. No language skills required.

* This is a part-time job.
* This is an internship job
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1852812824

I really, really fucking HATE Craig's List posters & people in general who think going to Harvard Law school (or any Ivy league school for that matter) is supposed to impress me.

It does not. Oh, Lord it does not!!

Am I supposed to start grabbing your dick & massaging it?

Do you think telling people that means they're going to take off all their clothes & say "Take me. I'm yours?"

Is it some special exemption from civil and criminal law that we're all supposed to abide by? I wasn't aware of that law.

My classism might be acting up here but saying that in your first exchange with me or on a job ad just makes me think "What a sad, arrogant person who has nothing more to show for him/herself than to broadcast that fact."

If you're meeting me for the first time & want to make a good first impression, you don't want to tell me that unless I ask you where you went to law school or you say it casually if you ask where I went & I tell you. I have no shame for where I went to law school & don't base my self-worth on such silliness. If you do, then you are a very sad person who needs to find some inner peace ASAP. Leave the legal profession if you must.

If you don't expect such reactions b/c you went to an Ivy League school & treat all people equally regardless of race, age, social class, gender, etc., then you're not going to have problems with me.

Guess it also means I can be even more candid & so forth on this blog. After all, there's a reason creative types are known for being a bit (sometimes a lot) off the beam.