Here's some truth: I watched a lot of "Jem" as a kid. Yes, I was and in some ways still am a girly girl (after all, I am a model in NYC). For those of you unfamiliar with it, here's a link to help you. While many parts of "Jem" were very unrealistic, there is something to be said about some of the writing & why it would actually be a good program to let a little girl watch.
First off, Jerrica and her friends were your classic underdogs. Jerrica & Kimber's father has died, they're left with little money and they have the evil Eric Raymond (who's an attorney and music company executive; was this foreshadowing you may ask yourself) to contend with. They epitomize good and kindness in the world even though you have Aja and Shanna to balance out some of that since they were more critical and cynical in their outlook on life than our own Jerrica/Jem. Poor Jerrica and her friends and their Starlight girls go through all kinds of bad stuff at the hands of The Misfits (the "evil" rock group) & Eric Raymond or people they've hired to do their dirty work.
Second, the Starlight girls were older tween/teen girls who'd been orphaned. You didn't see the lead characters taking care of babies or trying to become mothers everywhere you turned. They were enjoying rock star life and caring for the Starlight girls, who weren't really helpless waifs. There was one episode in particular where Kimber was supposed to get married and her friends are telling her not to rush into that choice & really think about if she wanted to do it. They weren't saying "Oh, go off & have babies. That's what you're SUPPOSED to be doing!" Powerful message for a childfree person or a kid who wasn't for the marriage/babies club.
Third, Jerrica and her friends weren't helpless waifs. I feel like Jerrica/Jem managed the perfect balance of self-sufficiency and Southern belle tendencies (though I think they were supposed to be living in CA). Rio got to be her hero but he wasn't ALWAYS helping her out of every stupid little nonsense like you'd see in some damsels in distress. They were fixing cars and doing all kinds of "not ladylike" type things.
I really liked Aja (the Hologram with the blue hair) though I could pull off Kimber easiest (the Hologram with the red hair). Aja was far more cynical, didn't trust that easily and was kind of bad ass in her own way since she knew how to do mechanical tasks. Yes, I wanted blue hair as a kid since I wasn't really happy being a redhead who got bullied and tormented in childhood. I would have loved an Aja doll but never got one.
But I suppose watching it as an adult, the thing I really notice is The Stingers. I was watching the episode where they first show up a few days ago and heard "Take It or Leave It." I feel like that is MY anthem in dealing with all these dudes who apparently resent me for having a personality & independent thoughts that don't align lockstep with theirs. The Stingers are also interesting since you have Jem & the Holograms as the epitome of good & kindness and The Misfits as the epitome of evil & nastiness (though you see some character archs with individual members and even Pizazz later on when confronted with situations that could KILL their rivals or cause further harm to them). The Stingers are more nuanced, Riot in particular.
You find out that Riot had to deal with parental disapproval from his father and strife over his music career. Basically, he and his band had to fight to get where they ended up in the series. I like that this layer of nuance was thrown in & how many of us can relate to having friends and family members who don't understand or respect our passion for entertainment pursuits, be they acting, music, modeling, whatever?
I actually had this guy tell me he was no longer interested in meeting me after speaking with me on politics and felt like I ought to post a link to "Take It or Leave It" on my profile. Heck, I would save myself so much time if I just did stuff like that or announce "Hey, I'm not dealing with your BS considering all the stuff I've gone through to get where I am! You can go pound sand if you think I am."
Shouldn't you hang out with the people who find you awesome as is instead of trying to conform to jerks who don't actually like you for you? I think you should. Embrace the 80s cheese as you watch that clip.
Showing posts with label cartoon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cartoon. Show all posts
Saturday, December 9, 2017
Thursday, November 8, 2012
So How Come Political Correctness Doesn't Extend to Sexism of Women?
Answer me that, folks. In particular, if we're going to ban certain classic cartoons because of offensive racial stereotypes (and yes, the Censored 11 stuff is pretty bad).
Yet we're STILL being exposed to the stereotypical 1950s housewife types in the classic Twilight Zone along with Olive Oyl in the Popeye series, various bitchy housewives in the Looney Tunes cartoons that beat up on cats for daring to eat birds (usually it's Sylvester because he dared to eat Tweety, who's a freaking canary). When you get down to it, there's a ton of sexism in the old cartoons.
I was watching some Popeye cartoons earlier & my husband reminded me of a rant I've not done: I absolutely can't stand Olive Oyl. She epitomizes everything stereotypical & insulting about women. Cartoon Olive, at least. Comic strip Olive is less offensive since she actually knows how to take care of herself.
I thought my husband & I were the only people who hated Olive Oyl until we watched a special feature on one of the Popeye DVDs that came out. Fortunately, the entire era of the cartoons that we wanted was put out on DVD & we got to buy them. One of the women speaking on this particular feature said she hated Olive Oyl as well. I was like "YES! Finally, someone else feels like I do."
So, why my hatred? I'll gladly explain:
If you've seen classic Twilight Zone episodes, you should be familiar with the bitchy and helpless housewives. Apparently, Rod Serling was not good at writing women in his stories. He admitted this in the introduction of one episode (I believe it was from Season 1) that we caught on DVD. Spotting these characters is like spotting pornography: you can't define it but you'll know it when you see it.
I personally watch these women in action on a lot of them & there are some I don't feel any sympathy for. It's like if some guy were married to them, you could hardly blame them for wanting to beat the crap out of them. Now I'm not a supporter of domestic violence but I'd want to beat them since they annoy the shit out of me.
Olive Oyl in the Popeye cartoons is like these women & I'm going to give you numerous examples of why she sucks.
1. She is a fickle bitch. In most of the Popeye cartoons, she's dating Popeye then tosses him aside for Bluto because she thinks Bluto is more suave or has a clean shave or whatever other reason. In real life, she'd be knocking boots with this guy. You know what we call women like that in modern society? A slut. Loose. Plenty of other names that you don't want to be called if you're a woman. I wouldn't find "fickle" flattering, either.
2. She is a total tease. Probably wrote the book on it, in fact. She acts like she's interested & then when Bluto makes his move, she goes all helpless & whines for Popeye. Popeye, of course, always saves her in the cartoons.
You know what Popeye would have done in real life, especially in today's time if some chick was doing this Olive Oyl impression? He'd say "Fuck you, bitch! You wanted Bluto so have fun. Don't come crying to me!" I know real life men would say something similar. Even Superman did in one story, according to my husband the comics expert.
3. She's downright shitty to Popeye in plenty of them. Has zero respect or regard for that relationship & then has no regard for Bluto if she's supposed to be with him. She also laughs her ass off at Popeye's expense in many of them. Classless could be an apt description as well.
"So, you still want to save that bitch?" I ask Popeye in my brain. I wouldn't do shit for you if you had dumped me then laughed at my expense when your new significant other was mean to me. Popeye would have moved on in real life.
4. She's totally & completely helpless. You know what would happen if you went all Bluto on a natural redhead & hopefully most modern women? She'd hit you right in a sensitive area & you'd be traumatized from even thinking about sex for a long time. Maybe even years. No, I don't mean the crotch. There are other sensitive areas that work for both genders & any woman who took a self-defense class knows what they are.
Why is it that she can do a token hit but it means nothing? Why is she so damn helpless? I appreciate a guy intervening if some scumbag is bothering me but don't do it because you think I'm helpless! Unlike cartoon Olive Oyl, I'm not helpless.
Most women aren't Olive Oyl. Yes, I'm sure there are Olive Oyl types around encouraging wannabe rapists to hate & attack us but we have our own ways of dealing with them (wannabe rapists & the Olive Oyl types). If I knew any Olive Oyl sorts myself, I'd definitely handle that. No woman in my family fits that one, that's for sure. That includes me, my policy on date paying notwithstanding.
I had respect for men I dated & have respect for my husband. You wouldn't see me ditching him for some guy with more money, a better car, better clothes, whatever. If some woman is doing that, she's not respectable. If she knows about this guy's private parts, you're definitely better off without her.
I also was not a tease. I never led guys on. I was always honest & probably to a fault. That always pissed me off when guys did it so I felt it was uncool to do that to them. Certainly other women agree with me on this. Plus, I have a healthy sex drive (if Manswers is accurate, it's a natural redhead thing but you can't tell me that only the smallest minority on the planet has a healthy sex drive; otherwise, you'd only see natural redheads with kids & all the people in sex therapy would be natural redheads). Most women aren't frigid or asexual. Those are the people who should do their dating on Christian Mingle or create some new dating site for people like themselves since they don't fit the majority of us.
Furthermore, most of us are adults. We don't expect some guy to save us from a situation we created ourselves. Respectable women operate from a place of truth & don't go leading folk on. They aren't assholes or little kids like Olive Oyl. We don't need some pimp to bail us out & I really hope a pimp wouldn't do that.
Nor do they trash someone they supposedly care about with their new beau & later expect them to do shit for them. Nope, if I've insulted you not only have you deserved it but I'd sure not ask for your help later on.
We've already established my lack of helplessness. I'm also not a fan of helpless people. Actually, I really hate helpless people (that is, the ones who can't claim a medically diagnosed condition & have something so bad, they actually need anti-depressants). For one thing, it's a state of mind. Few people are truly helpless & even the people everyone thinks of as being helpless (those who've lost limbs or senses) are usually functioning better than the rest of us.
For another, I believe in being the change you want to see. If you don't like something, you need to get off your butt & do something to change it or shut up for good about it. You don't get the right to bitch about things you took no steps to change.
Finally, if you truly feel helpless & you aren't suffering from a medically diagnosed case of depression (WebMD diagnoses don't count) why are you still doing the same stuff? Take some personal responsibility for YOUR life & YOUR behavior!!!
Maybe that's the crux of why I'm not an Olive Oyl fan: she lacks personal accountability. You never see her making the connection b/t her actions & people's reactions to her. It's like "Are you that dim?" To me, if you're that dim how do you manage to function from day to day? Can you even walk & chew gum at the same time? Maybe we should euthanize you for your own good. Many people ought to be euthanized for their own good but that's never going to fly until laws are changed.
With all this though, you don't see me or some other women's groups sending down a shit storm on broadcasters or anyone else & demanding them to never show some cartoon because of the sexism to women. You don't see networks censoring that stuff but they'll do it for other groups & most recently have done that for Native Americans (yet, you could still see those stereotypes in old cartoons when they aired in the late '80s & early '90s; I know b/c I saw them personally).
How about some respect for women here? Or better yet, no censorship for anyone? Women, Italians, Irish people, no one else who didn't choose their status in life should get to be fair game while other groups aren't. To even encourage it just furthers racism & causes more problems. Discrimination is discrimination. Why don't you PC cops get that?
If you ask me, the portrayals of women you see to this day just further sexism & ill will toward us. I think it's totally undeserved when it comes to me & probably undeserved for many women. How about the PC police tackle that one instead of setting up barriers to honest discourse & meaningful conversation? Olive Oyl doesn't represent me any more than Mitt Romney represents most of the Republicans I know.
Yet we're STILL being exposed to the stereotypical 1950s housewife types in the classic Twilight Zone along with Olive Oyl in the Popeye series, various bitchy housewives in the Looney Tunes cartoons that beat up on cats for daring to eat birds (usually it's Sylvester because he dared to eat Tweety, who's a freaking canary). When you get down to it, there's a ton of sexism in the old cartoons.
I was watching some Popeye cartoons earlier & my husband reminded me of a rant I've not done: I absolutely can't stand Olive Oyl. She epitomizes everything stereotypical & insulting about women. Cartoon Olive, at least. Comic strip Olive is less offensive since she actually knows how to take care of herself.
I thought my husband & I were the only people who hated Olive Oyl until we watched a special feature on one of the Popeye DVDs that came out. Fortunately, the entire era of the cartoons that we wanted was put out on DVD & we got to buy them. One of the women speaking on this particular feature said she hated Olive Oyl as well. I was like "YES! Finally, someone else feels like I do."
So, why my hatred? I'll gladly explain:
If you've seen classic Twilight Zone episodes, you should be familiar with the bitchy and helpless housewives. Apparently, Rod Serling was not good at writing women in his stories. He admitted this in the introduction of one episode (I believe it was from Season 1) that we caught on DVD. Spotting these characters is like spotting pornography: you can't define it but you'll know it when you see it.
I personally watch these women in action on a lot of them & there are some I don't feel any sympathy for. It's like if some guy were married to them, you could hardly blame them for wanting to beat the crap out of them. Now I'm not a supporter of domestic violence but I'd want to beat them since they annoy the shit out of me.
Olive Oyl in the Popeye cartoons is like these women & I'm going to give you numerous examples of why she sucks.
1. She is a fickle bitch. In most of the Popeye cartoons, she's dating Popeye then tosses him aside for Bluto because she thinks Bluto is more suave or has a clean shave or whatever other reason. In real life, she'd be knocking boots with this guy. You know what we call women like that in modern society? A slut. Loose. Plenty of other names that you don't want to be called if you're a woman. I wouldn't find "fickle" flattering, either.
2. She is a total tease. Probably wrote the book on it, in fact. She acts like she's interested & then when Bluto makes his move, she goes all helpless & whines for Popeye. Popeye, of course, always saves her in the cartoons.
You know what Popeye would have done in real life, especially in today's time if some chick was doing this Olive Oyl impression? He'd say "Fuck you, bitch! You wanted Bluto so have fun. Don't come crying to me!" I know real life men would say something similar. Even Superman did in one story, according to my husband the comics expert.
3. She's downright shitty to Popeye in plenty of them. Has zero respect or regard for that relationship & then has no regard for Bluto if she's supposed to be with him. She also laughs her ass off at Popeye's expense in many of them. Classless could be an apt description as well.
"So, you still want to save that bitch?" I ask Popeye in my brain. I wouldn't do shit for you if you had dumped me then laughed at my expense when your new significant other was mean to me. Popeye would have moved on in real life.
4. She's totally & completely helpless. You know what would happen if you went all Bluto on a natural redhead & hopefully most modern women? She'd hit you right in a sensitive area & you'd be traumatized from even thinking about sex for a long time. Maybe even years. No, I don't mean the crotch. There are other sensitive areas that work for both genders & any woman who took a self-defense class knows what they are.
Why is it that she can do a token hit but it means nothing? Why is she so damn helpless? I appreciate a guy intervening if some scumbag is bothering me but don't do it because you think I'm helpless! Unlike cartoon Olive Oyl, I'm not helpless.
Most women aren't Olive Oyl. Yes, I'm sure there are Olive Oyl types around encouraging wannabe rapists to hate & attack us but we have our own ways of dealing with them (wannabe rapists & the Olive Oyl types). If I knew any Olive Oyl sorts myself, I'd definitely handle that. No woman in my family fits that one, that's for sure. That includes me, my policy on date paying notwithstanding.
I had respect for men I dated & have respect for my husband. You wouldn't see me ditching him for some guy with more money, a better car, better clothes, whatever. If some woman is doing that, she's not respectable. If she knows about this guy's private parts, you're definitely better off without her.
I also was not a tease. I never led guys on. I was always honest & probably to a fault. That always pissed me off when guys did it so I felt it was uncool to do that to them. Certainly other women agree with me on this. Plus, I have a healthy sex drive (if Manswers is accurate, it's a natural redhead thing but you can't tell me that only the smallest minority on the planet has a healthy sex drive; otherwise, you'd only see natural redheads with kids & all the people in sex therapy would be natural redheads). Most women aren't frigid or asexual. Those are the people who should do their dating on Christian Mingle or create some new dating site for people like themselves since they don't fit the majority of us.
Furthermore, most of us are adults. We don't expect some guy to save us from a situation we created ourselves. Respectable women operate from a place of truth & don't go leading folk on. They aren't assholes or little kids like Olive Oyl. We don't need some pimp to bail us out & I really hope a pimp wouldn't do that.
Nor do they trash someone they supposedly care about with their new beau & later expect them to do shit for them. Nope, if I've insulted you not only have you deserved it but I'd sure not ask for your help later on.
We've already established my lack of helplessness. I'm also not a fan of helpless people. Actually, I really hate helpless people (that is, the ones who can't claim a medically diagnosed condition & have something so bad, they actually need anti-depressants). For one thing, it's a state of mind. Few people are truly helpless & even the people everyone thinks of as being helpless (those who've lost limbs or senses) are usually functioning better than the rest of us.
For another, I believe in being the change you want to see. If you don't like something, you need to get off your butt & do something to change it or shut up for good about it. You don't get the right to bitch about things you took no steps to change.
Finally, if you truly feel helpless & you aren't suffering from a medically diagnosed case of depression (WebMD diagnoses don't count) why are you still doing the same stuff? Take some personal responsibility for YOUR life & YOUR behavior!!!
Maybe that's the crux of why I'm not an Olive Oyl fan: she lacks personal accountability. You never see her making the connection b/t her actions & people's reactions to her. It's like "Are you that dim?" To me, if you're that dim how do you manage to function from day to day? Can you even walk & chew gum at the same time? Maybe we should euthanize you for your own good. Many people ought to be euthanized for their own good but that's never going to fly until laws are changed.
With all this though, you don't see me or some other women's groups sending down a shit storm on broadcasters or anyone else & demanding them to never show some cartoon because of the sexism to women. You don't see networks censoring that stuff but they'll do it for other groups & most recently have done that for Native Americans (yet, you could still see those stereotypes in old cartoons when they aired in the late '80s & early '90s; I know b/c I saw them personally).
How about some respect for women here? Or better yet, no censorship for anyone? Women, Italians, Irish people, no one else who didn't choose their status in life should get to be fair game while other groups aren't. To even encourage it just furthers racism & causes more problems. Discrimination is discrimination. Why don't you PC cops get that?
If you ask me, the portrayals of women you see to this day just further sexism & ill will toward us. I think it's totally undeserved when it comes to me & probably undeserved for many women. How about the PC police tackle that one instead of setting up barriers to honest discourse & meaningful conversation? Olive Oyl doesn't represent me any more than Mitt Romney represents most of the Republicans I know.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
The Wedding Saga Part 5
On Wednesday, I got my very first Mystic Tan. A sorority sister of mine who worked at a tanning salon once told me that she could get even me tan w/a Mystic Tan. I'd heard about it and my sister has had a few but I had not. Originally, we were going to get airbrushed tans and could not get wet for 24 hours but the choice was made to opt for a Mystic tan at a familiar location where appointments were not necessary.
Plus, my sister said she was self conscious about some pretty young woman getting to spray her with her not being "little & skinny." That was certainly not an issue for me; I figured I'd just be going along with the game plan anyway. Plus I have had to try on bras in large dressing areas where there was no private space and you had to disrobe in front of women you didn't know.
If you have an acting background, your personal boundaries are also different from the average person's since you have to be more up & close and personal with people as part of acting exercises and the like. It changes the bounds of your comfort zone. Because of this, I know for a fact I have no lesbian tendencies since those would have shown up a long time ago like when I was in high school theater or dance, where we had no formal changing areas and had 2 spaces on either side of the school's stage to change into things you couldn't get into discreetly like sports bras.
To get a Mystic Tan, you have to go into a booth by yourself after putting on barrier cream and, in our case, some hydrating lotion to make the tan spread evenly. One tip: they mean it when they say to use the barrier cream generously. My thumb looked dirty after my tan started showing.
I didn't realize how cold it would be. I had to work hard not to flinch when the spray was hitting me. I was holding my breath & felt shivery. At least next time I get it done, I'll know what to expect.
After this, we went to an event at my nephew's school. They were having their book bash, where the kids had made their own books to show the parents. My nephew had me, my husband, his parents and my parents in attendance. We even had our own little corner since there were so many of us. I think he had more people there to support him than any other kid in the class.
The only thing I didn't appreciate is my sister playing fashion police. My mother likes to do that to and I think it stems from being upset that I got more in the bust department than they did. For years, I've had to deal with both of them trying to play fashion police & telling me to dress like an old grandmother, never playing up my looks. I've thought of dressing like an old lady sometime just to bug them. The irony is that my sister was far more rebellious when it came to our conservative Christian upbringing; now she seems to have embraced it on some level while I rebelled more quietly.
Sounds simple to say "don't get wet for 6 hours", right? Not if you want a bottle of water and there's condensation to deal with. That was a pain for me at this event.
The upside is that while the tan didn't make me super brown I did go from looking like a ghost with red hair to a more normal person with red hair. I seriously have a Polaroid pic of myself from 10th grade where I look like a ghost with red hair and red painted fingernails.
The rest of that day and into Thursday, I got a break from the wedding stuff and got to spend quality time with my family members, especially my older nephew. My husband was teaching him bad habits but we did end up watching cartoons with him and exposing him to some classics he might not normally get to see. It also makes me feel good that he likes cartoons on Boomerang since I'd feel I failed if he became a teen and didn't know who Bugs Bunny was.
On Thursday, I got to visit my uncle. He's actually the only one who acknowledged my wedding and has a lot in common with my husband. They've wanted to meet one another for ages & finally got that opportunity. My cousin was working but everyone hoped they'd show up for the wedding. They did not.
This is largely because my uncle is somewhat reclusive and not the most social person. My mother is also like this to a lesser degree. I really should go find my cousin online and pester him for not taking the opportunity to get to see my husband in a tux since it will likely never happen again.
However, to this day none of my other relatives even said so much as "Congratulations" to me when I got married while going above and beyond for my sister. I've been married for nearly 5 years now, you know? I'm sure many of them even gave her wedding gifts. I've also felt like many of my family members seem to begrudge me living my own life and getting out of the South when I would have continued to be miserable if I'd stayed there & surely remained single for life.
Whether they actually do or not, I don't know but I've not felt the same kind of love or regard toward me that my sister has gotten.
So now we move to Friday, the night of the dress rehearsal. After some more spouse & me time, we have to go to the church in the evening. This is a real fun thing considering my husband isn't the least bit religious and apparently, neither are some of the groom's friends.
The best man showed up intoxicated. The other matron of honor decided to text through most of it and my aunt tried lumping me in as a bridesmaid while the ineffective matron of honor was hogging all the credit & getting to do EVERY LITTLE THING. The church was having a youth lockup that night.
For those thinking that a "youth lockup" is some kind of simulated prison experience, let me explain. A "youth lockup" is basically a slumber party where you stay in one room, hang out with others and sleep on the floor. I went to one at the same church when I was in the Girl Scouts and had fun. Maybe it's different when the specter of religion is introduced but it's not supposed to be practice jail.
My husband was also taken aback when told he'd be assisting on escorting people into the church, including the groom's mother whom everyone described as a piece of work. She vanished after one full rehearsal and others started to trickle out when food plans were still not finalized. My husband was starting to get hungry and the prospect of dealing with this pushy matron of honor didn't please me at all. Finally, my sister decides to go with her to go get food from a restaurant the matron of honor works at. By the time this happened, my husband had a headache from lack of food so we had to leave (I rode with him).
While we were having dinner at Steak & Shake, more fun starts happening:
1. Instead of asking where the men's room was, the best man decides to relieve himself outside in some of the church's bushes. Not sure if he was in view of the youths attending the youth lockup but people were pissed about that.
2. The other matron of honor decides to use the church's hot sauce after one of our bridesmaids told her she could. Never mind that this bridesmaid had nothing to do with the church. See tomorrow's entry for her reaction when confronted on this. It gets good.
3. After this, she says she's going off to meet with the aforementioned scumbag and will be back soon. She doesn't come back.
4. The bridesmaid from above used the church's ketchup but was contrite and apologetic after realizing she'd stolen from the church.
Now, all this happens after an earlier fight with this bridesmaid (who STILL did a better job at being the local matron of honor than the other one did) and with the groom's mother causing conflict, essentially by being as cheap as possible.
My mother and my sister also had to deal with printing programs after all this and ended up having to burn the midnight oil to get that taken care of. They got very little sleep the night before this wedding.
I'm still pissed we didn't go to "The Breakfast Club" and my husband jokingly tried to talk me into going to a strip club near where we'd had dinner. I suppose to bring my spirits up over having to deal with this whole wedding; with my luck, though, I'd have probably seen someone I know working there.
That evening, I thought "I will be away from this other matron of honor at the reception because I will sit with my family." (to my chagrin, that didn't end up happening). We didn't get to go because he didn't feel well and it was raining most of the day. I was even drenched in a downpour that happened after my husband got his hair cut that afternoon.
I proudly wore my shirt that says "Good Girls Go to Heaven, Bad Girls Go to New York" but had my hoodie over it because of the rain. No way was I dressing up and getting clothes ruined or pretending to be the good little Christian I wasn't. My mom claimed my shirt wasn't appropriate but I refused to change and said "It doesn't have profanity on it!" I could understand not wearing a shirt with the work "fuck" on it in a church but not the one I wore, right? If you can't have a sense of humor, you should fuck off & die. That is all.
Plus, my sister said she was self conscious about some pretty young woman getting to spray her with her not being "little & skinny." That was certainly not an issue for me; I figured I'd just be going along with the game plan anyway. Plus I have had to try on bras in large dressing areas where there was no private space and you had to disrobe in front of women you didn't know.
If you have an acting background, your personal boundaries are also different from the average person's since you have to be more up & close and personal with people as part of acting exercises and the like. It changes the bounds of your comfort zone. Because of this, I know for a fact I have no lesbian tendencies since those would have shown up a long time ago like when I was in high school theater or dance, where we had no formal changing areas and had 2 spaces on either side of the school's stage to change into things you couldn't get into discreetly like sports bras.
To get a Mystic Tan, you have to go into a booth by yourself after putting on barrier cream and, in our case, some hydrating lotion to make the tan spread evenly. One tip: they mean it when they say to use the barrier cream generously. My thumb looked dirty after my tan started showing.
I didn't realize how cold it would be. I had to work hard not to flinch when the spray was hitting me. I was holding my breath & felt shivery. At least next time I get it done, I'll know what to expect.
After this, we went to an event at my nephew's school. They were having their book bash, where the kids had made their own books to show the parents. My nephew had me, my husband, his parents and my parents in attendance. We even had our own little corner since there were so many of us. I think he had more people there to support him than any other kid in the class.
The only thing I didn't appreciate is my sister playing fashion police. My mother likes to do that to and I think it stems from being upset that I got more in the bust department than they did. For years, I've had to deal with both of them trying to play fashion police & telling me to dress like an old grandmother, never playing up my looks. I've thought of dressing like an old lady sometime just to bug them. The irony is that my sister was far more rebellious when it came to our conservative Christian upbringing; now she seems to have embraced it on some level while I rebelled more quietly.
Sounds simple to say "don't get wet for 6 hours", right? Not if you want a bottle of water and there's condensation to deal with. That was a pain for me at this event.
The upside is that while the tan didn't make me super brown I did go from looking like a ghost with red hair to a more normal person with red hair. I seriously have a Polaroid pic of myself from 10th grade where I look like a ghost with red hair and red painted fingernails.
The rest of that day and into Thursday, I got a break from the wedding stuff and got to spend quality time with my family members, especially my older nephew. My husband was teaching him bad habits but we did end up watching cartoons with him and exposing him to some classics he might not normally get to see. It also makes me feel good that he likes cartoons on Boomerang since I'd feel I failed if he became a teen and didn't know who Bugs Bunny was.
On Thursday, I got to visit my uncle. He's actually the only one who acknowledged my wedding and has a lot in common with my husband. They've wanted to meet one another for ages & finally got that opportunity. My cousin was working but everyone hoped they'd show up for the wedding. They did not.
This is largely because my uncle is somewhat reclusive and not the most social person. My mother is also like this to a lesser degree. I really should go find my cousin online and pester him for not taking the opportunity to get to see my husband in a tux since it will likely never happen again.
However, to this day none of my other relatives even said so much as "Congratulations" to me when I got married while going above and beyond for my sister. I've been married for nearly 5 years now, you know? I'm sure many of them even gave her wedding gifts. I've also felt like many of my family members seem to begrudge me living my own life and getting out of the South when I would have continued to be miserable if I'd stayed there & surely remained single for life.
Whether they actually do or not, I don't know but I've not felt the same kind of love or regard toward me that my sister has gotten.
So now we move to Friday, the night of the dress rehearsal. After some more spouse & me time, we have to go to the church in the evening. This is a real fun thing considering my husband isn't the least bit religious and apparently, neither are some of the groom's friends.
The best man showed up intoxicated. The other matron of honor decided to text through most of it and my aunt tried lumping me in as a bridesmaid while the ineffective matron of honor was hogging all the credit & getting to do EVERY LITTLE THING. The church was having a youth lockup that night.
For those thinking that a "youth lockup" is some kind of simulated prison experience, let me explain. A "youth lockup" is basically a slumber party where you stay in one room, hang out with others and sleep on the floor. I went to one at the same church when I was in the Girl Scouts and had fun. Maybe it's different when the specter of religion is introduced but it's not supposed to be practice jail.
My husband was also taken aback when told he'd be assisting on escorting people into the church, including the groom's mother whom everyone described as a piece of work. She vanished after one full rehearsal and others started to trickle out when food plans were still not finalized. My husband was starting to get hungry and the prospect of dealing with this pushy matron of honor didn't please me at all. Finally, my sister decides to go with her to go get food from a restaurant the matron of honor works at. By the time this happened, my husband had a headache from lack of food so we had to leave (I rode with him).
While we were having dinner at Steak & Shake, more fun starts happening:
1. Instead of asking where the men's room was, the best man decides to relieve himself outside in some of the church's bushes. Not sure if he was in view of the youths attending the youth lockup but people were pissed about that.
2. The other matron of honor decides to use the church's hot sauce after one of our bridesmaids told her she could. Never mind that this bridesmaid had nothing to do with the church. See tomorrow's entry for her reaction when confronted on this. It gets good.
3. After this, she says she's going off to meet with the aforementioned scumbag and will be back soon. She doesn't come back.
4. The bridesmaid from above used the church's ketchup but was contrite and apologetic after realizing she'd stolen from the church.
Now, all this happens after an earlier fight with this bridesmaid (who STILL did a better job at being the local matron of honor than the other one did) and with the groom's mother causing conflict, essentially by being as cheap as possible.
My mother and my sister also had to deal with printing programs after all this and ended up having to burn the midnight oil to get that taken care of. They got very little sleep the night before this wedding.
I'm still pissed we didn't go to "The Breakfast Club" and my husband jokingly tried to talk me into going to a strip club near where we'd had dinner. I suppose to bring my spirits up over having to deal with this whole wedding; with my luck, though, I'd have probably seen someone I know working there.
That evening, I thought "I will be away from this other matron of honor at the reception because I will sit with my family." (to my chagrin, that didn't end up happening). We didn't get to go because he didn't feel well and it was raining most of the day. I was even drenched in a downpour that happened after my husband got his hair cut that afternoon.
I proudly wore my shirt that says "Good Girls Go to Heaven, Bad Girls Go to New York" but had my hoodie over it because of the rain. No way was I dressing up and getting clothes ruined or pretending to be the good little Christian I wasn't. My mom claimed my shirt wasn't appropriate but I refused to change and said "It doesn't have profanity on it!" I could understand not wearing a shirt with the work "fuck" on it in a church but not the one I wore, right? If you can't have a sense of humor, you should fuck off & die. That is all.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Hello, All You Happy People You
I borrowed that from Droopy. Cartoon dog, Tex Avery creation? I still like watching cartoons & Tex Avery did great stuff. Love Screwy Squirrel even though he apparently though Screwy was too nasty to people. I also figure I can dress as Red if I get the right outfit made for me & find a hair stylist to create the hairdo (might also have to get my hair cut but it's not like I'll ever get waist length hair).
On Sunday, I auditioned for a comedy show at the invitation of the person who created & stars in it. I swear, when I tell people I act & sing it's like an invitation for me to come in for auditions. This is the second time someone did that & was impressed w/my work.
I'm working on getting involved in this comedy show, my 3rd entertainment venture. After doing this reading, first off the producer found out I can sing & second, I was told to create a character who could show up on occasion but wasn't necessarily integral to the plot (largely b/c of my busy schedule & not knowing what I might be doing in a few months).
So right now, I'm developing ideas for characters & will get to perform at major comedy clubs in the city. As I was on the subway going home Sunday, it hit me that I don't have nearly the resume of the working actors I know but I'm here getting this shot. Kind of a leap from community theater, you know? I'll be in a show that people pay $ to see in the heart of Manhattan's Theater District!
Working on a different confidential project as well but I figure doing this stage performance will do a LOT for me professionally & personally:
A) Prepare me acting wise for the other project
B) Give me the chance to get on stage frequently, which I never get to do enough
C) Sing before an audience, something else I don't get to do except at karaoke
D) Develop a following that might see my other work or research other stuff I do, thereby not just helping me personally but the business ventures that have me
E) Furthering the dream, baby.
I'm not even thinking of large scale success; I'm just looking at the small stuff right now. Plus, it makes me feel more like a real creative type instead of someone who's just telling you about some play she did in high school.
I can also put this down as a great accomplishment that's mine & most people in my shoes can't claim.
So in light of the fact that being a performer is in my blood, why would I really consider most legal jobs? I found 2 ads today in the section that gave me a good laugh. First, the one for a lawyer:
Admitted Attorney needed in Manhattan (Downtown)
Date: 2010-07-19, 2:39PM EDT
Reply to: zhangandassociates@verizon.net [Errors when replying to ads?]
Manhattan small law firm needs an admitted attorney, no experience required. This law firm majorly practices in Immigration area. Good environment and good pay. Please email resume if interested.
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 1851488139
With all due respect, let me decide for myself if it's a good environment & good pay, all right? Your good environment could be my nightmare.
And continuing in the tradition of ridiculous internships:
Writing/Research Legal Internship - Fall (TriBeCa)
Date: 2010-07-20, 9:40AM EDT
Reply to: job-gjf58-1852812824@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Great Opportunity! Boutique international legal recruiting firm seeks a motivated, well-organized and student for an internship starting at the end of the summer into the fall. Candidate must have very strong writing and research skills and will be responsible for drafting our guide to top US and UK law firms in Asia and the Middle East as well as possibly overseeing our blog. Additional responsibilities will depend on your interests and skill set i.e. marketing, advertising, producing additional content, etc. The firm is run by a Harvard Law School grad and, while small, we provide a great work environment and an energetic atmosphere. Please note that this internship is unpaid with a possible stipend and commissions depending on the time commitment and candidate. This is a great opportunity for a undergraduate or law student to get work published, become intimately familiar with the Asia and Middle East legal markets and make contacts in the international legal world. No language skills required.
* This is a part-time job.
* This is an internship job
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 1852812824
I really, really fucking HATE Craig's List posters & people in general who think going to Harvard Law school (or any Ivy league school for that matter) is supposed to impress me.
It does not. Oh, Lord it does not!!
Am I supposed to start grabbing your dick & massaging it?
Do you think telling people that means they're going to take off all their clothes & say "Take me. I'm yours?"
Is it some special exemption from civil and criminal law that we're all supposed to abide by? I wasn't aware of that law.
My classism might be acting up here but saying that in your first exchange with me or on a job ad just makes me think "What a sad, arrogant person who has nothing more to show for him/herself than to broadcast that fact."
If you're meeting me for the first time & want to make a good first impression, you don't want to tell me that unless I ask you where you went to law school or you say it casually if you ask where I went & I tell you. I have no shame for where I went to law school & don't base my self-worth on such silliness. If you do, then you are a very sad person who needs to find some inner peace ASAP. Leave the legal profession if you must.
If you don't expect such reactions b/c you went to an Ivy League school & treat all people equally regardless of race, age, social class, gender, etc., then you're not going to have problems with me.
Guess it also means I can be even more candid & so forth on this blog. After all, there's a reason creative types are known for being a bit (sometimes a lot) off the beam.
On Sunday, I auditioned for a comedy show at the invitation of the person who created & stars in it. I swear, when I tell people I act & sing it's like an invitation for me to come in for auditions. This is the second time someone did that & was impressed w/my work.
I'm working on getting involved in this comedy show, my 3rd entertainment venture. After doing this reading, first off the producer found out I can sing & second, I was told to create a character who could show up on occasion but wasn't necessarily integral to the plot (largely b/c of my busy schedule & not knowing what I might be doing in a few months).
So right now, I'm developing ideas for characters & will get to perform at major comedy clubs in the city. As I was on the subway going home Sunday, it hit me that I don't have nearly the resume of the working actors I know but I'm here getting this shot. Kind of a leap from community theater, you know? I'll be in a show that people pay $ to see in the heart of Manhattan's Theater District!
Working on a different confidential project as well but I figure doing this stage performance will do a LOT for me professionally & personally:
A) Prepare me acting wise for the other project
B) Give me the chance to get on stage frequently, which I never get to do enough
C) Sing before an audience, something else I don't get to do except at karaoke
D) Develop a following that might see my other work or research other stuff I do, thereby not just helping me personally but the business ventures that have me
E) Furthering the dream, baby.
I'm not even thinking of large scale success; I'm just looking at the small stuff right now. Plus, it makes me feel more like a real creative type instead of someone who's just telling you about some play she did in high school.
I can also put this down as a great accomplishment that's mine & most people in my shoes can't claim.
So in light of the fact that being a performer is in my blood, why would I really consider most legal jobs? I found 2 ads today in the section that gave me a good laugh. First, the one for a lawyer:
Admitted Attorney needed in Manhattan (Downtown)
Date: 2010-07-19, 2:39PM EDT
Reply to: zhangandassociates@verizon.net [Errors when replying to ads?]
Manhattan small law firm needs an admitted attorney, no experience required. This law firm majorly practices in Immigration area. Good environment and good pay. Please email resume if interested.
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 1851488139
With all due respect, let me decide for myself if it's a good environment & good pay, all right? Your good environment could be my nightmare.
And continuing in the tradition of ridiculous internships:
Writing/Research Legal Internship - Fall (TriBeCa)
Date: 2010-07-20, 9:40AM EDT
Reply to: job-gjf58-1852812824@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Great Opportunity! Boutique international legal recruiting firm seeks a motivated, well-organized and student for an internship starting at the end of the summer into the fall. Candidate must have very strong writing and research skills and will be responsible for drafting our guide to top US and UK law firms in Asia and the Middle East as well as possibly overseeing our blog. Additional responsibilities will depend on your interests and skill set i.e. marketing, advertising, producing additional content, etc. The firm is run by a Harvard Law School grad and, while small, we provide a great work environment and an energetic atmosphere. Please note that this internship is unpaid with a possible stipend and commissions depending on the time commitment and candidate. This is a great opportunity for a undergraduate or law student to get work published, become intimately familiar with the Asia and Middle East legal markets and make contacts in the international legal world. No language skills required.
* This is a part-time job.
* This is an internship job
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 1852812824
I really, really fucking HATE Craig's List posters & people in general who think going to Harvard Law school (or any Ivy league school for that matter) is supposed to impress me.
It does not. Oh, Lord it does not!!
Am I supposed to start grabbing your dick & massaging it?
Do you think telling people that means they're going to take off all their clothes & say "Take me. I'm yours?"
Is it some special exemption from civil and criminal law that we're all supposed to abide by? I wasn't aware of that law.
My classism might be acting up here but saying that in your first exchange with me or on a job ad just makes me think "What a sad, arrogant person who has nothing more to show for him/herself than to broadcast that fact."
If you're meeting me for the first time & want to make a good first impression, you don't want to tell me that unless I ask you where you went to law school or you say it casually if you ask where I went & I tell you. I have no shame for where I went to law school & don't base my self-worth on such silliness. If you do, then you are a very sad person who needs to find some inner peace ASAP. Leave the legal profession if you must.
If you don't expect such reactions b/c you went to an Ivy League school & treat all people equally regardless of race, age, social class, gender, etc., then you're not going to have problems with me.
Guess it also means I can be even more candid & so forth on this blog. After all, there's a reason creative types are known for being a bit (sometimes a lot) off the beam.
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