The Genius of Jem

Here's some truth: I watched a lot of "Jem" as a kid. Yes, I was and in some ways still am a girly girl (after all, I am a model in NYC). For those of you unfamiliar with it, here's a link to help you. While many parts of "Jem" were very unrealistic, there is something to be said about some of the writing & why it would actually be a good program to let a little girl watch.

First off, Jerrica and her friends were your classic underdogs. Jerrica & Kimber's father has died, they're left with little money and they have the evil Eric Raymond (who's an attorney and music company executive; was this foreshadowing you may ask yourself) to contend with. They epitomize good and kindness in the world even though you have Aja and Shanna to balance out some of that since they were more critical and cynical in their outlook on life than our own Jerrica/Jem. Poor Jerrica and her friends and their Starlight girls go through all kinds of bad stuff at the hands of The Misfits (the "evil" rock group) & Eric Raymond or people they've hired to do their dirty work.

Second, the Starlight girls were older tween/teen girls who'd been orphaned. You didn't see the lead characters taking care of babies or trying to become mothers everywhere you turned. They were enjoying rock star life and caring for the Starlight girls, who weren't really helpless waifs. There was one episode in particular where Kimber was supposed to get married and her friends are telling her not to rush into that choice & really think about if she wanted to do it. They weren't saying "Oh, go off & have babies. That's what you're SUPPOSED to be doing!" Powerful message for a childfree person or a kid who wasn't for the marriage/babies club.

Third, Jerrica and her friends weren't helpless waifs. I feel like Jerrica/Jem managed the perfect balance of self-sufficiency and Southern belle tendencies (though I think they were supposed to be living in CA). Rio got to be her hero but he wasn't ALWAYS helping her out of every stupid little nonsense like you'd see in some damsels in distress. They were fixing cars and doing all kinds of "not ladylike" type things.

I really liked Aja (the Hologram with the blue hair) though I could pull off Kimber easiest (the Hologram with the red hair). Aja was far more cynical, didn't trust that easily and was kind of bad ass in her own way since she knew how to do mechanical tasks. Yes, I wanted blue hair as a kid since I wasn't really happy being a redhead who got bullied and tormented in childhood. I would have loved an Aja doll but never got one.

But I suppose watching it as an adult, the thing I really notice is The Stingers. I was watching the episode where they first show up a few days ago and heard "Take It or Leave It." I feel like that is MY anthem in dealing with all these dudes who apparently resent me for having a personality & independent thoughts that don't align lockstep with theirs. The Stingers are also interesting since you have Jem & the Holograms as the epitome of good & kindness and The Misfits as the epitome of evil & nastiness (though you see some character archs with individual members and even Pizazz later on when confronted with situations that could KILL their rivals or cause further harm to them). The Stingers are more nuanced, Riot in particular.

You find out that Riot had to deal with parental disapproval from his father and strife over his music career. Basically, he and his band had to fight to get where they ended up in the series. I like that this layer of nuance was thrown in & how many of us can relate to having friends and family members who don't understand or respect our passion for entertainment pursuits, be they acting, music, modeling, whatever?

I actually had this guy tell me he was no longer interested in meeting me after speaking with me on politics and felt like I ought to post a link to "Take It or Leave It" on my profile. Heck, I would save myself so much time if I just did stuff like that or announce "Hey, I'm not dealing with your BS considering all the stuff I've gone through to get where I am! You can go pound sand if you think I am."

Shouldn't you hang out with the people who find you awesome as is instead of trying to conform to jerks who don't actually like you for you? I think you should. Embrace the 80s cheese as you watch that clip.

Big Picture Stuff & Trying to Define Success

Thursday would have been my father's 60th birthday; if you read this blog regularly, saw that entry or know me in real life, you know he died in June. I was trying to keep the day free since I wasn't sure how I'd feel. I ended up being asked to do paying work so I spent some of my day on that. Then my husband asks me, the sick woman he gave his cold to, to do dishes & other domestic tasks (I'm pretty sure he also asked me to make HIS tea even though he swore he didn't).

Actually had a great conversation with the person I'm doing paid work for. He pointed out some things that are completely accurate from my vantage point & it made me feel really good to hear it. It was further confirmation that I'm exactly where I belong & am no dummy here. My therapist also read the Yelp review I wrote on her (which was 100% truthful) & she told me yesterday that I am a writer.

My husband & I are finally going to go to marriage counseling. I'm proud & happy that he admitted there are problems in this marriage & he took the initiative to set that up with someone who may be compatible with who we are + take our insurance. I definitely think his stunt last week was a turning point, at least for me.

One big thing I absolutely won't put up with from anyone is abuse; emotional abuse is most certainly included in that. I had to put up with enough emotional abuse from my father & then I was a child who had no say or options to leave (though I did tell my mother when I was 7 that she should get a divorce & probably kept saying that over the years or asking why she wouldn't leave). As an adult, that is simply not going to fly with me from anyone. I don't care if you've been married 100 years or 100 seconds; no one deserves that. I have a lot to say about where I see problems and what I will and won't put up with.

Today's conversation kind of further proves that no one should dare accuse me of living in a delusion when I say my entertainment pursuits are going to pay off & that I'm just where I need to be professionally speaking. It's one thing to hear it from the world at large; it's another to hear it from your family members or your relatives. Calling my career a hobby or me delusional on this one is extremely offensive & means I won't be dealing with you since that shows me you've got zero respect toward me as a person or for any creative talents I have.

It seems like a lot of people in my life are in the midst of major transitions & changes. I sort of wonder if I'm going to be one of them in the near future; I honestly don't know how things are going to go but this status quo isn't going to cut it. Between me & my sister, I wonder whether these men think that because our father is dead they now get to treat us like shit since he's not around to kick their butts. If they think that's the case, they'll be in for some very sad realities.

I'm also the type of person who never hung around bullshit. My affection for a guy faded very quickly if I was disrespected, lied to, or the guy did something horrid. Now I was more often the dumpee than the dumper but when I was feeling oppressed or angry or hurt & the guy never acknowledged or respected my feelings, I was out the door. I also never tolerated anyone's attempts to control me or tell me what to do (I still won't). There's one definitive sign that it's over: when you're crying after you've had sex with someone. Once you do that, you have to face the fact that it's over & done.

As I told a friend of mine, if this marriage ended I'd probably never want to get married again. I wouldn't be helpless & figure my friends won't let me cede to that feeling but I think I'd only want open marriage if I ever got close enough to anyone again to want even a slight commitment. I'm still shocked I got close enough to my husband to have a relationship with him since I never was able to do that with anyone else, even when I wasn't looking for Mr. Right Now. I'm not even sure I ever looked for Mr. Right since I felt Mr. Right was a myth.

Now for some reason the Biography channel is showing that old show Confessions of a Matchmaker, which I remember watching years ago back when it aired. I think my husband may have found it. I was watching an episode where she's trying to help this guy who is a "deluded" musician because he works in a music store & is trying to be a rocker. He'd apparently had an album but they didn't go into too much detail about what he did, if he had gigs, what he was trying to do, who he knew, anything like that. The matchmaker was just dismissing him as delusional because of his age (within my range, by the way) & because of his day job in retail.

It's been my contention that success isn't something with a quantifiable definition, especially in the entertainment field. You can make money at it but not be famous & you can also be famous but broke. You can win awards, get great opportunities & have lots of contacts while having to take a day job. I just don't define it by money & if you did that in entertainment, most of the people in it would be "failures" by that definition.

Recently, I read this book about the oral history of Nickelodeon's early days. One fact I learned was that a lot of people doing the shows many of us know and love form that time were working for passion, not money. I don't think anyone would have called those people "failures" back in the day & I'm sure most wouldn't now.

See what I mean about success not being defined by money? At the end of the day, I'm pretty sure it's what each person personally defines as success. You might think I'm "successful" but perhaps I don't, just like I might call myself a success even if someone else wouldn't. It sounds a little New Age but I do think there's no real quantifiable definition of it, just a perception that everyone has to define for themselves.

Oh, and let me also say that I think the people who define success by a paycheck are the same people who have zero creative talent, would never get the opportunities our innovators get & may very well know this fact (while also hating it). The people who don't think that way are a breath of fresh air to people in my industry, let me tell you.

Since getting back to this post a few days later (my schedule is literally that insane these days) I'm still in the midst of waiting for what life is going to bring. I guess in some way we all are.

More Ways to Ruin Yourself in the Entertainment Business Before Getting Started

A loyal reader recently sent me this link on how to find anyone's e-mail address.

First off, I'm utterly skeptical about this claim. What if you are a privacy fiend who never uses their real name? This is certainly something I do. If you get my e-mail address, you'd better guard it with your life or I'll definitely repay you for spreading it around like a virus.

If I'm able to locate the CEO of Verizon and the student loan companies to tell them about their asinine policies & what a foolish idea outsourcing is through these methods, then I'll get on board. Otherwise, I'll stick to my own investigative methods.

Second, special rules apply if you are in or want to be part of the entertainment business. Read carefully:

Sending e-mail to a random person whom you don't have a mutual acquaintance with is not acceptable unless:

A) You do the same thing as that person (both are producers, writers, actors, etc.)
B) You are polite; AND
C) You do not make attempts to sell your screenplay, pass off headshots or send repeated unsolicited e-mails

We call this networking. I've done a lot of it since you have to in this business. I don't beg or plead w/anyone; I simply point out that I exist & based on my background, there might be some benefit in knowing me. If someone doesn't take it, then I'll remember that in the future but I won't waste my time w/further communications. They'll just get a shock later. Most people know better than to do this since today's intern could be tomorrow's famous producer/CEO/other high-level muckety muck. Also not smart to piss off an attorney.

If someone says "no unsolicited e-mail," do not (I repeat) DO NOT send your treatment, your headshots, advertisements, etc. to that person. Read company/individual policies carefully & if you want to be successful in this business, you'll follow them.

Aspiring writers: enough w/the unsolicited treatments & movie ideas!!!!!!!! Sending them to a company w/a clearly stated "no unsolicited material" policy is just shooting yourself in the foot. It's the same as an actor who walks onto a set with a diva attitude; it pisses people off. When I say "read the website, don't send this" than means

"Hey, you illiterate! You're pissing people off, I'm having to hear about it & thereby, pissing ME off because you think you deserve special exemptions from established policy. Contrary to what you may think, you are NOT God!"

No one's using your stuff since they don't want to read your idea, get the slightest bit influenced by it & then get hit with a lawsuit for copyright infringement. If you try this & win, you won't work in the business again. You'll just be known as that asshole trying to exploit unsuspecting companies. For this reason, smart companies have a "no unsolicited materials" policy.

Also, fan fiction is a total waste of time due to legal reasons. You don't own that copyright since it's what we in legal land call a derivative work, meaning it derived from someone else's labor. The copyright owners can take your fan fiction, create some great film or TV show & not give the fan fiction author a dime. This is perfectly legal since it's their copyright, not yours.

Take home lesson: create your own damn work with your own characters!!!!!! That way, you can own the copyright & you're not doing someone else's work for them. Use your creative talents to do something new, come up w/a new idea.

Yes, I know getting it isn't easy & there are some shitty writers out there who are in. My husband's insane friend does "Top 10" lists that are far better than the writers on Letterman have come up with. He tried to submit some of them & was rejected, likely for the same reasons.

* Side note: If you are a Letterman Top 10 list writer who'd like to contest this, I'll have my husband forward you these lists sometime amidst the conspiracy theory stories he also gets from said friend. Just give me your info & I'll make it happen.

At the end of the day, though it is what it is & this field is not the cake walk some people think it is. It is long hours, unsteady work/pay & you'd better have a passion for this. It's not playtime & it's not a goof off fest. Writing's incredibly hard, thank you. Still, if you are dedicated enough to get ahead I believe God/the universe helps those who help themselves.

Now to satisfy my furry psycho cat's attention whore tendencies.

Who Says an Attorney Can't Be Creative???

Very shortly, those of you in the NYC area (or who actually venture there from NJ, CT or someplace else) will get to see my acting & singing talents on a more regular basis. I was asked to be an actor in a new sketch comedy group being formed by the producer of "The Gloria Glitter Show" (yes, where I'll also be creating a recurring character).

Now, I hadn't though about being an actor in the group + as a general rule, I don't ask for acting roles or to subject you to my singing or writing. I don't use my being someone's legal counsel, organizing their work or doing other behind the scenes stuff to inject myself into the creative side of the industry. I'm not Lucy Ricardo or some gatecrashing wannabe & think asking for such things would make me one. A lot of people I've met don't like being used for their career & getting hassled about such things. There are also factions of attorneys who use representing entertainment clients for just those purposes.

However, I've gotten opportunities to do things because creative people I work with asked me to audition for roles or to read at auditions. That's how I've gotten things: simple hard work & no preferential treatment. I think we should all operate that way. Talent & personality should come first; even if you've got some huge investor, that doesn't mean you walk in like you deserve something. Don't give me a job just because I'm doing your legal work or help you on behind the scenes stuff: give me a creative role or project because you think I'm capable of doing it. If I'm not, don't let me ruin things.

I also may be doing another writing gig for a blog that sums up who I am & perhaps creates a category for me where none actually existed. We'll see how that goes but it will mean you'll get more of my prose. I'm also happy someone else thinks highly of my writing abilities.

So who says you can't work in the industry because you're an attorney? Maybe it's because I have a creative background, sheer curiosity when I tell people about singing or acting someplace or even the fact that I'm more of a creative than a typical attorney but I have managed to get opportunities where others probably wouldn't.

I also make sure to tell attorneys who really want to work in entertainment not to work as entertainment lawyers in the hope of exploiting creative work. It's scummy & I'd hate one doing it to me. Hell, I'd really do a number on such folk since I despise most lawyers & that world as a whole; everyone I know would hear about it & hopefully blackball those people as well as tell their colleagues so they can be spared that nonsense.

I even have to finally get my headshots/resumes professionally printed since now there's a demand for them & they don't come out right at home. I'd meant to for ages but I didn't have the money. Side income has made it possible; I need to do more article writing soon but I've been doing so much stuff lately.

I'm also trying to come up w/game plans to contact people, move ahead on the ventures, write on my other big project, etc.

Apparently, Someone Flunked Business 101

Sorry, as a lawyer it's in my nature to do things like this if I find some lower level person is incompetent or being completely unhelpful. You often HAVE to speak to the CEO if you want anything to get done or to be vindicated in some way.

I would be livid if some company tried that w/me & would be doing the same thing this soon to be ex-customer did. I would also use my experience as an executive level person to ask another one who they slept with or blackmailed to get their job since they clearly didn't earn it on their own merits. Incompetency & the refusal to learn or do ANYTHING just drives me nuts; it's the type of employee I'd get rid of in a second. Still can't believe my own spouse was trashed by co-workers for being competent; that makes me want to shoot these people, smack them upside the head, something. I know why management types want to hire incompetents that need excessive hand-holding & lack creative vision (because they want to keep you down) but I really have no patience for those types.

If I'm able to survive doing something meaningful, I'll just write about this stuff but otherwise, I'd probably end actually doing it. Writing my first script gave me the ability to actually live the situation I was writing about; the events it was based on were unresolved in real life but in my writing, I was able to create a resolution.

Going out of town tomorrow. I think I'll stay up since I have a lot of files to test before I can add them to the iPod, I need to make sure my DVD player is fully charged, pack a lunch (since I'm picky + a cheapskate) & don't think I'll feel sleepy until close to time to get up (5ish, ugh!).

Happy I finally got my first CT viewer; honestly, I'm a bit shocked I haven't gotten some of my highest views in states where I used to live & still know people. For those who have been following my rants, hi there & hope I keep you sufficiently entertained.

General Musings, Part 2

Here we go.

My thoughts on this:

1. I have to agree w/people who claim this story & the media as a whole are taking a liberal bias on illegal immigration. This would be the same as letting a murderer who escaped from jail be exonerated for calling 911 for a rape victim. You do the crime, you do the time. Whether a particular law should be enforced or even on the books is a whole other issue but I think the immigration laws should be enforced equally for all & the punishment for hiring illegals should be so severe to even damage the business of multi-million dollar corporations. Jail some of these executives in, to borrow a term from Office Space, "Pound me in the ass Prison" w/no bail & they'll get their act together.

In short, I don't have sympathy for illegals who whine about having to face the music when they perform their civic duty like we expect people to in an orderly & decent society. They should have thought about that before getting involved in a situation. Could this man not have made an anonymous phone call?

2. I also agree that illegals should not be using the state tuition rate, resources & seats in educational programs that citizens should be using and very well may have wanted to but for the illegal. There's a little thing called the library; if your city government is still funding your system, I suggest you use it. They don't care if you're an illegal & some even offer free English courses. Use them if you truly want to be an American & move up like so many people have done before you.

Second rant: Yesterday, after seeing an ad for an unpaid internship requiring 30-40 hours of work per WEEK (but "flexible") in a start-up beauty company I have to post a link to this petition.

The petition is here.

Demanding, aren't we? At least in my industry, the people I've come across are well aware that they're not paying you & actually appreciate you helping them. More people I see in the entertainment industry don't make those kinds of demands on people working for NO pay. I would never expect anyone to give up a paying day job & devote that kind of time to me w/out some kind of payment. I would certainly never label a person working that many hours for months on end an "intern."

I also agree heavily w/another ad I read there.

Some of us DO get paid for our writing talent. I actually have, being a lawyer notwithstanding.

Also reminds me of the old adage "you get what you pay for." Pay substandard or nothing & you will not get high quality. I've worked w/starting businesses but I only pick those that have some staying power & are organized. Everyone thinks they can write but it's a lot harder than it looks & there aren't many good writers. There are fewer superior writers. Anyone who's been asked to read a film script can tell you this.

You also have to have a lot of passion to do such things & if the environment is not one of respect and treating people like human beings, you're not going to get very far finding people to work for no pay regardless of their employment status. People always want to know what's in it for them so if you don't have a good answer to that, you're doomed. That's just how it is.

Focus on Writing

I guess it's pretty fortunate that I got a new freelance writing assignment that's going to take me a pretty decent amount of time & required me to go to the nearby bar association library to get state specific materials but will lead to a decent amount when it's all said and done. I looked at my calendar today & said "Wait a minute! Tomorrow's 10 days from when this assignment for 51 articles is due. If I show up to my day job, I can't finish by the deadline."

At least I have gotten the required materials for most of the articles & can get the rest when I go to my Entertainment Committee meeting at a different bar association on Tuesday. However, I know that I need to work from home for many reasons:

A) Controlled environment
B) Access to my food & my fridge
C) Using my computer
D) Ability to listen to music so I can get into the creative flow
E) Wearing what I want

I also have to prevent planning anything in that time since I'll need a quality of life & if I do too much, I'll get stressed out. That leads to my feeling rushed & then not getting things done as needed.

So if you don't see any new postings for a while, it just means I'm busy working on this assignment.