Two Types of People That Should Be Protected: The Attractive & The Childfree

Yes, maybe in part I'm saying that since I fit into both categories but the real trigger for protecting attractive people is this story. Apparently, I'd have to be a stripper, work in sales or shave my head if I lived in Iowa since I'd never be able to get any legitimate source of income there.

Who doesn't see some old law firm partner saying similar things to a female associate? I could totally see some associate getting let go from jobs because some partner's wife is an ugly old hag who refuses to do anything about her own marriage or take any personal responsibility. Same for that law partner thinking with the little head instead of the big one he should be using (your brain).

Labor laws aside (which frankly scream sexism to me in this instance & justifying rape against "attractive" women), let's consider the wide ranging impact of such a ruling. If everyone's got free range to do it, where are the attractive people going to work? Are they ALL supposed to move to Hollywood or New York? What if that person doesn't want to be an actress or can't sell things to save his/her life?

Gorgeous doesn't mean DUMB, chuckleheads! Some of us have brain cells in our heads. Some of us have skills. And some of us don't fucking appreciate the slut shaming that's already going on if we dare to show the slightest bit of cleavage or leg if we go out in the evening! We don't know how this woman dressed & as far as anyone knows, she wore business clothing. After all, she worked there for 10 years! If she was dressing like a stripper, I'm pretty sure she'd have been gone in a few months. I didn't read anything about patient complaints about this woman's attire.

This guy also fired this woman at the advice of his pastor AFTER making nasty remarks to her in the workplace. If you told me about my making your pants bulge at work, I'd have to cut off that bulge or threaten to do so in a very vicious manner. I'm sure if I did, you'd not do it again. Rest assured my husband would handle it if some guy said that to me socially, not even in the workplace. Once I get to play my prostitute role (now slated for closer to October), my husband said he's going to hurt any man that acts inappropriately or makes nasty remarks about my attire while I'm doing that show.

Oh, and my husband is not some jealous harpy who'd tell me to fire some guy from my company if he was attractive. He'd never say to me "You have to fire that actor since he's too good looking." If he did, I'd say "Tough shit! You married me, you know I work in the entertainment industry & that actors generally have to be good looking. You've been with me the entire time I've worked in this industry so get over yourself & stop trying to sabotage my career because of your lack of self-esteem."

Did this pastor not think that God gave this woman her looks (which according to some commenters on this story in various places, she's not exactly going to be busting down the doors in Hollywood)? And what about personal responsibility? Why did he not tell this man to keep it in his damn pants? Does he put the moves on the "attractive" patients? I mean, is he holding back daily from raping women he passes walking down the street or driving in the car? Is it women's responsibility to wear burkas everywhere? Are you in Iowa or Afghanistan?

How about telling this bitch wife to do her part in this marriage? You know, have sexual relations with her husband, try new things in bed, talk about things other than the kids, your house, etc.? Or maybe not clinging to this man for dear life & developing some outside interests?

I'm married & as my mother famously told my sister "No one can 'steal' a man from you." That man makes his own choice if he picks some other chick over you. No one's controlling his mind, except maybe his own penis. Whose fault is that? Certainly not some attractive woman! I would never blame someone else for MY failings or frigidness. That's the ultimate in immaturity, laziness & low self-esteem.

Does this jealous harpy also tell her neighbors, fellow church goers or any other woman in town how to dress or throw blankets on them when her husband walks by? I would smack someone like that in the face for telling me, a grown woman, how to dress.

Is this court saying that not only am I castigated to particular occupations but that if I got raped in their state, it couldn't be the fault of the rapist since I'm "attractive?" You have to wonder what attractive female attorneys in the state think of this ruling. I'm sure they'll have their jobs threatened pretty soon since those law partners will say "Well, the Iowa Supreme Court said I could fire you."

I also like that people asked just where the standard of attractiveness lies. Even obese women may not be safe since beauty is in the eye of the beholder & some guys have fetishes for that as well as many other things. Are we women now having to make sure some guy who owns a business doesn't have a fetish for whatever we have like red hair or body fat or butts?

So, Melissa Nelson, I hope you make this fucker James Knight (who is probably one of the biggest religious hypocrites out there since Christian love is NOT blaming other people for your hormones & sentencing them/their families to the unemployment line) pay & pay big. Maybe you should consider a move to New York City or Los Angeles while you're at it along with all the attractive women in Iowa.

I also think this James Knight should lose his medical license since how do we know he's not tried taking advantage of attractive female patients while they were sedated.

Does his wife screen the patients coming in? I mean, what would you ask & how the hell would you ask about attractiveness? Some people think natural redheads are ugly. When I was growing up in NC, my male classmates though I was a dog & a good 97% of them would have laughed if you'd proposed they go out on a date with me.

I do hope that bitch wife is haunted by this & it would serve her right if that family ended up on the street because of her being an immature cunt. Yes, I said the word "cunt!" I call things & people what they are; it's a cunt thing to do to sentence a good employee to the unemployment line with no good reference & not giving them a fair severance package that covers today's realities of months going into years of unemployment.

Wouldn't it also be a scream if this guy's wife became hated by all the men in the state if the attractive women in Iowa did, in fact, leave & move elsewhere so they could get viable employment without having to wear burkas or 80's church lady dresses?

So you know what? Attractiveness should be a protected class or at least included in labor law for things that don't involve acting or modeling. Jobs where your looks are irrelevant to your ability to perform the work. You can't be a good popular girl on TV if you're a 400 pound, acne ridden actor. That's not true for an assistant or even some sales people. You can't sell chocolate or weight loss products looking that way but you could be good at selling investment packages or insurance. Being a lawyer is irrelevant to your looks & why should people be punished for getting the lottery in the looks department?

Why should I have to get fat or make myself look ugly because YOU are an ugly person on the inside & lack any self-confidence? YOU should fucking change! In fact, I'll insist on it since I can't control my looks like you can control your behavior & attitude.

Better yet, maybe you can try being friends with the attractive women. If you weren't an ass to them, then maybe they could teach you a thing or two about self-confidence. For all you know, they weren't Homecoming Queen in high school either. Not all pretty women are adulterers or lack morals & you sure aren't endearing yourself to me or anyone else who's seen by society as pretty when you cut us down.

Oh, and do you know how often I used my looks to get where I am? Take a guess. Zero. Read that again if you're a jealous, harpy bitch or believe having looks gives you some special superpower: Z-E-R-O!!! No one gave me good grades on my looks since I wasn't seen as pretty when I was going to school. No teachers or professors acted inappropriately to me. I didn't show my underwear or do skanky stuff to get attention. I was stuck in the "I'm not pretty" mentality & never got attention from my male classmates so can't be that hard to believe I wouldn't think to do that. As far as I'm concerned, school & work are separate from your home life & your social life. I'd have felt dirty mixing those realms & also had no instructors I entertained such thoughts about.

Getting out of the "I'm not pretty" mentality & being skeptical when someone complimented my looks took a long time along with many different events in my life, not just one.

So take that & shove it in your collective rear ends, frigid bitches who can't be bothered to satisfy their boyfriends & spouses!!! Maybe you should get lives & new, more constructive hobbies.

Now for why we should include childfree people as a protected class. Let me tell you right now that if you aren't childfree or don't know anyone who is, you don't get it & you aren't going to. Here's an explanation for you on what childfree people go through:

1. Bosses tend to make childfree people work weekends & holidays since the parents must come first at all times (at least, for these types of bosses). Childfree people don't get to take leaves or as much vacation while certain parents act like they are entitled to take any time off they want while getting the same privileges, pay & positions. Certainly not all parents & bosses but it's enough to be a problem.

2. If you are childfree (especially if you're female), you are immediately subjected to people (oftentimes women with children) asking why you don't have kids, making nasty & insulting comments about how your spouse isn't the one since "What if you find your soulmate & he wants kids?" and trying to sell you on having a baby like they are trying to sell the old abandoned house in the bad part of Long Island City or they'll get fired tomorrow & immediately have to live on the streets.

Guess how quickly that pisses off the childfree? If you can ask about kids & listen while the childfree person talks about nieces & nephews while not diminishing the role of Auntie/Uncle or just not try to change the person's mind about it, then you're fine. I don't think not wanting to be subjected to a birth sermon is a demand for political correctness in society.

Just a few days ago, I was eating in a diner and overheard this male server talking to this older group of people & saying "You can't be married & not have kids." Had he said this to me personally, I'd have shot something back but since it wasn't said to me I left it alone. I thought "Oh, yes you can! I'm childfree & this woman is NOT under any circumstances having kids. How do you like that one?"

3. God help you if someone near you gets pregnant, especially if that woman is your boss. When I hear about a female friend or acquaintance's pregnancy, part of me always worries about if this person will remain the same after the baby is born. One of my sorority sisters had a child & totally changed as a person. It was like her old personality vanished & she became Mrs. Mommy. I don't talk to this person anymore. Now I'm quite publicly childfree so anyone with half a brain knows you don't make certain remarks to me if you want me to continue speaking to you (particularly if you know about my essay), but what about those women who aren't?

Childfree people don't tend to talk to friends who give up their interests the minute a baby comes into the picture. Nor do they talk to people who expect them to treat that child as the center of the universe when they aren't the parents, godparents or a blood (or even marriage) relation. At least a kid who's related to me won't get to damage my property, interrupt my workday or be a brat toward me since those parents know that stuff wouldn't fly.

Imagine a boss like this. That boss would make life a living hell for any childfree women working there. There'd be constant disrespect aimed at you & forget about any advancement, no matter how great you were at your job.

Let's not even go into the bullshit paternalism from doctors who think they can tell women in their 20s & 30s what to do when it comes to their decisions to breed yet I see them doing nothing about raising the age of consent for contracts or curtailing adult rights & privileges for these people.

Gee, more reasons for me to do just what I'm doing now. At least you'll never get annexed from the entertainment field for being "too pretty." Maybe all the attractive & the childfree people should start businesses and refuse to serve the insecure bitches & child pushers. If you ask me, those are the people who should be punished in society instead of people who were blessed with something you don't have (we can include money if you want though I don't recall anyone getting fired because they have too much money or they came from money) or those choosing to live life their way instead of YOUR way.

Marriage & Staying Together "For the Kids"

Despite being happily married, I'd say I'm overall anti-marriage. Or, more precisely I'm against marriage between people who don't actually live up to what we expect from marriage. I'm not talking about genders or sexual orientation. Gay marriage, open marriage, even polygamous marriage is fine w/me as long as everyone's an equal, doing right by each other, & not being an ass to one of the participants. If you're doing this & you're not psychologically damaging children we're going to have to pay to treat through therapy, the courts, jail time, etc., I have no qualms about you touting your happy marriage to the world. You've earned it.

But when you're an abuser, an addict or just a jerk who's making the home environment a living hell for your partner or your kids, don't you dare act like your union deserves the same respect and regard as my happy marriage. That really pisses me off & should piss people off far more than a happy, consenting, functional union between gay individuals.

I also really, really hate religious types and others who tell people to stay in unhappy marriages "for the kids."

First off, these dingbats have likely never lived that reality. They think children are stupid & can't see when something is a total act for their benefit. They think you can brainwash kids.

I lived this "stay together for the kids" crap. It didn't do me any favors. In fact, it really clouded my view of relationships. What good is having a 2 parent household when those parents are always fighting, you have to flee your home when one gets into an aggressive mood and one allows your peace of mind to be invaded against your will?

I once came very close to getting into a physical fight w/my father. He shoved me into a chair & my mom + sister had to hold me back as I got up & started kicking.

Even my academic adviser in college for psychology agreed that this is a bad idea.

Second, kids aren't stupid. What you're teaching them in this staying together for the kids no matter what shit is "you should be so subservient to a mate that you are no longer a person." If you're a girl seeing your mother treated this way, you're going to think that's acceptable behavior. I never did since I had hostility for her allowing us to live in this dysfunctional space & caring more about my father's presence than our piece of mind.

You also teach your kids that marriage is equal to Hell. My mind equated marriage with giving up my identity, something I refused to do. We even see this in society. How many movies & shows portray men as being whipped and women as total bitches??? This plus my home life really bolstered my position.

When I was 7, I told my mom she should get a divorce. She never did. I wish they had since at least we'd have had a safe home & less psychological fallback from it. Maybe we could have had some better role models & seen a good marriage.

Third, most religions wouldn't condemn you for leaving an abusive marriage. You'd never see the religious folk I know of in the South telling someone to stay in a marriage like my mother's or to put up with domestic abuse. The sane ones admit there are some situations you can't fix and you're better off not putting kids through more psychological trauma. For instance, you can't get marriage counseling if both people aren't willing to fix things or admit there are problems. Did my parents ever get therapy? Does my father even admit to his role in humiliating me & my sister by drinking w/an underage kid in our neighborhood? Ha!

You could get killed if you stay in some situations and it's lunacy to expect someone to stay in a domestic abuse situation. Even a situation like mine could lead to death depending on the alcoholic's temperament.

So I have a very hard time holding back if someone says they're staying together for the kids. I've never heard of a person who lived in a high conflict atmosphere suggesting this & if they did, I'd consider them full of it. From first hand experience, don't do this. The world doesn't need more enablers or anti-marriage types, though they might produce some great creative works. I take this very personally since I lived it & the person w/that snappy solution most likely didn't.

Can an Outsider "Break Up a Marriage?"

For some reason, the universe decided to plant this one in my mind today. When I start checking e-mail earlier in the day, I see a story about John Edwards' former mistress & how she apparently went on Oprah. She talked about people claiming she "broke up" the marriage of John & Elizabeth Edwards.

Then I FINALLY caught the new GSN Network show Baggage, hosted by Jerry Springer. Cool concept & I like trying to figure out what my husband would consider a deal-breaker from the baggage presented in various rounds. Watch this show for yourself; it's great.

Anyhow, guess what one of the female contestant's baggage is in the 2nd round: I Broke Up a Marriage. The male contestant selecting a date decides to eliminate that female.

I absolutely HATE the idea that an outsider to any marriage can break one up; it's total garbage!!! Even if your spouse was raped, that's still not going to break up a marriage b/c there was no consent & I doubt your spouse enjoyed it.

My mother, a pretty wise & sharp woman, said something very true back when my sister was dating her late husband. She told her that no one can "steal" a man from you. That man decides whether to go off w/someone else or not. Same goes for women.

So if you believe that no one can "steal" your significant other, you pretty much have to accept that no 3rd party can "break up" your marriage. If your spouse leaves you for somebody else, then guess what? Your spouse doesn't love you. Your spouse doesn't want to be with YOU and if it hadn't been that particular person, it would have been someone else sooner or later.

When I saw this on TV today, I told my husband I wouldn't be nearly as angry w/a person he cheated on me with if he ever did it as I would be at HIM. He'd be the one deciding to throw our marriage away & he'd certainly have to decide to cheat before our marriage could be broken.

This should explain why I find the idea of someone other than a member of the marriage breaking up a marriage to be ludicrous. Someone in the marriage has to decide to cheat before that can happen.

I also don't think you should get married unless you know in your heart you want to be w/that person forever + can be there through thick & thin. Whether you have kids or what religion you follow, it's far less complicated to stay married to the same person than it is to get a divorce. Now sometimes, divorce is necessary but don't start a marriage in the hole.

My law school experiences in Family Law class + the legal clinic were a perfect example of why you'd better not get married unless you're doing it for the right reasons & you are serious about making that type of commitment to someone before family, friends & the deity of your choice. I know my husband & I thought very carefully & discussed potential deal-breakers before walking down the aisle.

Some couples (and some people, for that matter) just shouldn't get married & I don't think society does anyone any favors by encouraging bad marriages. Just my thoughts.