Thursday, February 17, 2011

More Asinine School Board Policies

Thanks to my husband & Chelsea Handler for mentioning this one on Chelsea Lately. I swear, I'd watch Chelsea Lately more often if I could stand the guests. Chelsea Handler's hilarious & says the same things about red haired guys that I've been saying for years. She's just fortunate that no one would ever accuse her of fucking her brother if she dated a red haired guy.

Yes, I don't find red haired guys attractive for the most part. I've met maybe one in my entire life that I thought was cute. I think I may have seen another attractive one in a headshot when I interned at a talent agency but that's about it. As I told that agent, you can't ask me about red haired guys since everyone thinks redheads are related to one another (usually that a guy is my brother). Me dating a red haired guy would lead to accusations that I'm committing incest.

Those minorities complaining about their status: be thankful no one thinks all black people, Asian people, etc. are related to one another. You'd have to date outside your race if that were the norm like it is with natural redheads.

Needless to say, none of my exes are redheads in the true sense of hair color.

So tonight, this story is mentioned on Chelsea Lately.

Okay, idiots setting policy at Cobb Elementary School in Texas:

You claim "red" hair is NOT a natural hair color b/c it's "inappropriate." Well retards, my hair is NATURAL.

As in, it grows out from my head & elsewhere that color.

And my hair's not some near blond or brown color; it's bright freaking red, no question!!

Are you claiming that both me & my sister (who also had bright red hair at 12 years old) would have been forced to dye our hair to meet YOUR standards? Big, catastrophic problems with that one:

1. My mother forbade us from dyeing our hair until we were 18. She was furious when my sister highlighted her hair with blond highlights. She herself is also a natural redhead.

2. You have to go to a hair salon if you want to properly dye red hair. A box of hair dye & DIY doesn't cut it with naturally red hair. That makes your hair an even more unnatural color like orange or maroon.

3. If you even get to a hair salon, no decent hair stylist is touching the red hair. Do you simpletons know how many people compliment my hair color on a regular basis?

This goes double for people who work on hair for a living. If I go to get a trim or do anything with my hair, I get raves on how pretty it is from at least the person working on it & on occasion from the entire salon. How do you think these same people would react if I wanted to dye it?

They'd consider it a crime against nature; I think most professionals would outright refuse to dye my hair because of the rarity of the color & the fact that it would never look the same if I dyed it even once.

4. Do you retards plan to protect me from attempts on my life when I get killed for altering my hair color to meet your standards? Remember, people have told me they'd kill me if I dyed my hair.

5. How about the permanent change to my life & identity after I've had to dye it to meet YOUR standards? Are you going to pay for that one?

So sounds like this elementary school is discriminating against natural redheads, a very significant minority that should be as much a protected class as anyone else. Ask the people who were accosted by morons too easily influenced by the antics of Eric Cartman.

I'm tempted to write the person responsible for that little policy & mention these very issues.

I was a redhead attending elementary school & gee, class functioned. My classmates did their work & it wasn't just a never ending gaze fest at my head. Viewing my hair is not the equivalent of taking an acid trip.

So I call bullshit on the "distraction" argument. Come up with something that doesn't reek of discrimination against redheads; I dare you.

Do you plan to ban very black people next, demanding them to bleach their skin so their skin shade fits within the acceptable hue? Perhaps Asians with more slanted eyes will be forced to undergo surgery so they look more "American" to these morons?

Get a grip & hope you get slammed by some local natural redheads. You deserve it.

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