Sunday, March 13, 2011

Clothing Products For the Lazy - A New Low

We're all familiar with the Snuggie and pajama jeans as well as their design solely for the lazy among us. Okay, the Snuggie would also be useful for those who want to pretend they are members of a religious cult (I'm still waiting to see someone do that on a NYC subway while begging for money); if I got one, I'd have to add some Velcro to the back so it would close.

And perhaps pajama jeans are useful if you're suffering from a long term illness where you have some good days but why, oh why, would you wear such a thing outdoors among the public? If appearances count in the world, single people who want to date & actors would never be caught dead in them. Same goes for fashionistas. Standards, people! Please? If you want a hot guy, you'll not get him wearing pajama jeans (I'm sure this is just as true for gay men as straight women).

But I just saw a commercial for a product that illustrates a new low in laziness: the Genie Bra. If you haven't seen that infomercial yet, chances are you will soon. Just in case you don't, go here to learn about it.

The pitch of the thing asks if you're unhappy having back fat when you wear your bra or having fat leaking out from the top of your breasts, pitching the "Genie Bra" as the way to prevent such things.

Okay, as someone who worked in a lingerie department for 3 years & learned how to get the proper bra size let me clear up the mystery.

The reason you have back fat when wearing a bra is because the band is too small!!!

You have fat coming out of your bra cup because your bra cup is too small!!!

50% of women don't wear the proper bra size. My mother made a big deal about making sure that didn't happen to us.

So instead of wasting your money on an As Seen on TV infomercial product that may not even work, let me give you some real advice:

1. Go to a lingerie store & get a salesperson to measure you to determine your size. Not a Wal-Mart or Target & maybe not even a JcPenney (where I did my lingerie work but God only knows if they still include that in new employee training since I haven't worked there in over 10 years). Ideally, you have access to a small, independent lingerie shop where the sales staff have time to give you personal attention but I'm sure a Victoria's Secret would suffice.

2. Stop living in the delusion that you are a size that doesn't fit. Guess what?? You might be fat now. Stop bitching about this & go buy a bra that fits. No one else is going to see the band or cup size unless you take your bra off or decide to be intimate with someone. If someone can tell this by sight, they are either a pervert who doesn't deserve the time of day or a professional who has more class than to announce such things to the world. If that professional does not, again a pervert who doesn't deserve the time of day.

Do you get it? Maybe you'd have a case if you're a stripper but most women aren't working in the adult industry & if this bothers you, chances are you don't either. Otherwise, you've got some very good drugs that people would probably pay you a fortune to get.

This is one of those things that most people don't notice or comment on unless you're whining about it.

Products like this are just encouraging laziness & making people stupid. Do we really need more of that in this country? Isn't GPS enough?

If you're in a country that's not experiencing a massive brain drain, please tell me where that magical land is so I can consider it when planning a vacation & in any future immigration plans.


  1. Been to Victoria's Secret, and I am a 36 D per the sales ladies measuring and NONE of their bras fit me comfortable, so please don't think that everyone is lazy,if I get the right size, the cup is too big, if I go down a size it's too small.

  2. I still think the Genie Bra isn't the answer. If you have the money, I suggest a specialty lingerie store. I've read comments in various places from women w/the same problem who went to those & finally got bras that fit. They can be pricey but perhaps they'll do a free measurement & let you try some on so you can find a way to get the right size through a catalog or website w/better size variety than retail.

    Maybe someone does custom made bras?? That would be nice if they were also affordable.

    I have a ridiculously irregular size myself (my fingers are worse) but I think the answer is better selection, better trained store staff & quality fit for a fair price instead of stuff like the Genie Bra.

  3. I just phoned the Genie bra people and received a clerk who could adequelty hepl me with sizes. I stated I am An XL/1X in shirts and would that cover a 38DD size as is my current Avenue store size . This person just read fron a script and would not answer my question . She kept hurrying me up to decide and decide NOW.
    She giggled when i could not make up my mind in a split second then said goodbye and disconnected. Come on ... These are not free and with my tax I'm looking at close to 90.00.....Another 9.00 to return if the fit is not correct.
    I also question the nylon and spandex as to breast health. These are chemical fabrics that the skin will absord.
    Sorry to say but the phone clerk turned me off to this hury up and order business.
    I expect more from a business while ordering

  4. To the 36D girl who can't find a bra:
    Find the cup size that fits you best. Then get a back extender if the band is too small. Odds are your back is wide so you need to up the band width to fit. Or have a tailor take them in on the sides. I am a 34G so trust me when I say it takes some work to get it right. I have had a lot of luck at Dillard's.

  5. I went to a specialty shop (Intimacy) a couple of years ago after watching the Oprah bra show. The bra was $90 but for the first time in my life I have a bra that really, really fits. I am a large size and to my horrors am a size 36 G!!! And who cares--it fits. I convinced my reluctant 20 year old daughter to do the same and she said afterwards it was her favorite bra. Mine are underwire and not uncomfortable. I had spent far more on a drawer full of bras that never fit correctly, so while expensive it probably has saved me money over the long term. Makes me feel AND look better. The Genie doesn't look like it has any real support--if you look the bigger busted girls bounce as they walk--at least one does--so you can imagine what would be going on if they did anything more active.
    Advice--go somewhere that will give you a good fit!!

  6. Oh, and one other thing to add to my above post (where is it?)--The Intimacy people will alter your bra at no extra charge for the lifetime of the bra. So if you gain/lose weight or it stretches out--hyou can get it fixed.

  7. Yeah, but what about those of us who do not have the money to go to a fancy lingerie store?? I did once upon a skinny moon, when I was a 32D, and Lord knows I'm not that now...but I'm not sure what I am now, and can't afford $100 bras anymore!!

  8. I actually really like this bra and I've been used to wearing only Victoria Secret for some time now. It could be that the sizing is just different for Victoria Secret but I found this bra to fit a size smaller than I'm used to - both smaller around and in the cup. However, I plan to keep the one I got as I've already worn it a couple times and its snug but still fairly comfortable.
    I would definitely recommend using

  9. I love the Genie Bra, and I'm not lazy, I just hate bras. The hooks in the back always scratch, I suffer all day while wearing one. This bra is the least uncomfortable.