General Musings, Part 31

The drama that is my life continues. My husband told me outright to go to a therapist & after more things happened (let's just say the chickens have come home to roost on something millions of Americans face but wouldn't really want to admit to), it felt like even the most anti-therapy person out there would hear of my experiences & tell me I ought to see a therapist. Let's face it: once you've had your entire life shift so dramatically in such a short time, you either see a therapist or go on a shooting spree. I'm too enraged as a person to commit suicide without taking some deadbeats down with me for the good of society. My last noble act, if you will.

Also, meet my friend Lindsay Lowe. She told me she admired me for going through the things I have but I feel like she's far more worthy of admiration than me. She's an awesome, talented & creative person who simply deserves recognition for her awesomeness. See her site if you want to know more about her.

Noticed a few stories in various places it's definitely time to comment on. Here goes.

This is a verdict that makes me happy. Maybe part of it is the constant rebellion I had against the Mr. Bones of the world. You know that school administrator: the one who acted irrationally & seemed better suited for running the Taliban than being responsible for the care of school children. A classic authoritarian through & through.

I hated authoritarian types back to my high school years. See earlier entries if you want to read about some of those antics. Defending someone's right to wear a bracelet like that would be right up my alley for multiple reasons.

This was also an eternal question I had myself. My mother even asked this when we were in school. I remember her thinking it was a stupid concept as far back as middle school. She may have even remarked on the non-punishment aspect of it when we were in elementary school. From this answer, it sounds like good old fashioned laziness is to blame.

I fully agree with this sentiment. I'm not just saying that because I can find my size at Victoria's Secret in both clothing & bras (you try doing that when you're naturally underweight, have a little height & vanity sizing is favoring the fat girls among us). I wish they'd sell more of their clothing in the stores since they have some nice dresses, shirts, leggings & the like (the shipping costs bother me on a deep level & I'm not wild about the regular prices but the sales are good). I also can't stand the whole puritanical sentiment that permeates through the comments of the detractors. Perhaps modeling has just made me even more rebellious against that whole puritanical culture since I had to deal with it so much as a child.

For now, I've resumed communication with my mother but I'm done with my sister. My sister even dared to tell me how I feel like she resides in my brain & knows my thought processes then tried to pull the "I won't let you have a relationship with my kids b/c I don't agree with your life philosophies" card. I wonder how I'd be treated if I were a web cam model or posing in Playboy or doing adult films. I figure I'd be all alone in life if I were doing that, even if I had to do that stuff to keep from being homeless or having everything I worked for go down the toilet. Incredible that some people have treated me like I have been doing such things.

I refuse to play that little game; if I played it, I know I'd eventually end up in a burka figuratively & maybe even literally. My sister claims my nephew was asking about sexual stuff & if he could see things.

Is it just me or should someone say, "Try being a PARENT & explaining that stuff to your kids without making sex a dirty, evil thing." I feel like that's the appropriate response (a discussion on appropriate sexuality), not telling that kid's aunt to dress like a nun when she doesn't even dress like a stripper getting ready to go on stage in modern times. It's also telling my sister got the same message I did growing up about how sex was this bad, shameful thing you should never do unless you're married. You later learn your parents aren't saints & are actually flawed people (some much more flawed than others). If I hadn't gotten out of NC, I'd probably still be screwed up on that point & definitely far less happy than I am today (oh, not just on THAT front; get your mind out of the gutter!).

You know, maybe I've overcome gender bias on cleaning. I don't really give a damn what people think about such things when it comes to my house. I'm not even close to a slob. In fact, I'm probably more of a neat freak than anyone in my childhood family is or was. I have a lot of organized clutter but I can account for most things. My husband once worked as a custodian so he knows a lot more about cleaning than I do. In fact, I think he has higher standards of cleanliness than me when it comes to some things. I'm just not interested in killing myself to make my home so clean you could eat off the floor. I hate doing dishes & I refuse to spend my days cleaning since I've got a life but I won't leave anything that will attract bugs, stinks or makes it impossible for me to clean up later.

Being childfree might also have something to do with it but my basic attitude is if you think my house is a mess, then don't come over. I'd rather not be subjected to the white glove test when someone visits. I also don't tolerate drop ins, implying that if you do you might see things you didn't want to see (and you just might; I've heard stories about parents seeing their kids in the middle of things no one wants to see their kid engage in & the kid not stopping).

I'm still shocked MSN did a story on this. Are you?

Then there's this question. I don't definitely know why lawyers are hated. I haven't really experienced that in my career since people in entertainment generally like & respect lawyers. I can only tell you what I dislike about particular lawyers or the stereotypical groups.

I wonder if these people ever reneged on this. Honestly, I didn't follow the whole "lean in" stuff & really don't view myself as following a formula for doing things in my career (at least not consciously). I adamantly refuse to read the book or give this woman press. I also agree with people's comments that Slate is just as hypocritical as anyone else. Considering the whole stepped up enforcement on unpaid internships, I hope anyone doing it who could actually afford to pay folks & doesn't gets slammed for it. They just make all organizations look crappy & classist by continuing that system. I know I view them as being classist.

At least there are upsides and good things going on in my life, especially on the business end. Let's just say I've gotten 100% definitive signs that there's no good reason for me to throw in the towel on the entertainment career or anything I've worked many years to develop as part of my brand & identity. The day is definitely coming & the people who weren't there will certainly not get any kindness from me. The haters have already gotten their walking papers & the fakes have been replaced.

Just remember that even if you're in your darkest moments, you should never change who you are or be something you're not to please some jerk who could care less if you lived or died or if you were happy or sad. Average employers (the ones who seem to populate the majority of Corporate America), I'm looking at you. There are plenty of employers out there who would take you for who you are & even view that as a plus. Life's also too damn short as I can verify with this shitty summer; why spend your time being miserable?

Clothing Products For the Lazy - A New Low

We're all familiar with the Snuggie and pajama jeans as well as their design solely for the lazy among us. Okay, the Snuggie would also be useful for those who want to pretend they are members of a religious cult (I'm still waiting to see someone do that on a NYC subway while begging for money); if I got one, I'd have to add some Velcro to the back so it would close.

And perhaps pajama jeans are useful if you're suffering from a long term illness where you have some good days but why, oh why, would you wear such a thing outdoors among the public? If appearances count in the world, single people who want to date & actors would never be caught dead in them. Same goes for fashionistas. Standards, people! Please? If you want a hot guy, you'll not get him wearing pajama jeans (I'm sure this is just as true for gay men as straight women).

But I just saw a commercial for a product that illustrates a new low in laziness: the Genie Bra. If you haven't seen that infomercial yet, chances are you will soon. Just in case you don't, go here to learn about it.

The pitch of the thing asks if you're unhappy having back fat when you wear your bra or having fat leaking out from the top of your breasts, pitching the "Genie Bra" as the way to prevent such things.

Okay, as someone who worked in a lingerie department for 3 years & learned how to get the proper bra size let me clear up the mystery.

The reason you have back fat when wearing a bra is because the band is too small!!!

You have fat coming out of your bra cup because your bra cup is too small!!!

50% of women don't wear the proper bra size. My mother made a big deal about making sure that didn't happen to us.

So instead of wasting your money on an As Seen on TV infomercial product that may not even work, let me give you some real advice:

1. Go to a lingerie store & get a salesperson to measure you to determine your size. Not a Wal-Mart or Target & maybe not even a JcPenney (where I did my lingerie work but God only knows if they still include that in new employee training since I haven't worked there in over 10 years). Ideally, you have access to a small, independent lingerie shop where the sales staff have time to give you personal attention but I'm sure a Victoria's Secret would suffice.

2. Stop living in the delusion that you are a size that doesn't fit. Guess what?? You might be fat now. Stop bitching about this & go buy a bra that fits. No one else is going to see the band or cup size unless you take your bra off or decide to be intimate with someone. If someone can tell this by sight, they are either a pervert who doesn't deserve the time of day or a professional who has more class than to announce such things to the world. If that professional does not, again a pervert who doesn't deserve the time of day.

Do you get it? Maybe you'd have a case if you're a stripper but most women aren't working in the adult industry & if this bothers you, chances are you don't either. Otherwise, you've got some very good drugs that people would probably pay you a fortune to get.

This is one of those things that most people don't notice or comment on unless you're whining about it.

Products like this are just encouraging laziness & making people stupid. Do we really need more of that in this country? Isn't GPS enough?

If you're in a country that's not experiencing a massive brain drain, please tell me where that magical land is so I can consider it when planning a vacation & in any future immigration plans.