All Dressed Up & No Place to Go

Yes, believe it or not The Angry Redheaded Lawyer would love to have a job where an evening gown was required. Note I DIDN'T say evening shoes. I said evening gown.

That's because you can't do very much in an evening gown. You can't lift heavy items, get messy, or do things that will make you sweaty. You'd mess up that evening gown. You also can't walk around messy areas or floors or you mess up the bottom of one.

Unlike some women, I love (and I mean LOVE) dressing up. I don't think this is just because of my embracing the spotlight or liking to be the center of attention (though this tends to happen even if I don't want it to--I do look as I do, you know); I just have that girly side, even though you might think I didn't because I'm a feminist. Contrary to that, I think you can look pretty and sexy without looking like a whore.

Give me carte blanche on gown style, length, color and accessories & I'll come up with a look that will flatter me and not look like just like everyone else. If anything, I'm more of a trend setter since I think it's lazy to just look like everybody else. A brand name does not make one fashionable or stylish in my book. You have to have an eye, that sense of creativity. I think being fashionable means you don't wear the same thing as 10 other people.

Anyway, I have literally 10 evening gowns. No kidding. Some of them are now big on me since I've lost weight over the years (which is saying something since I was always skinny) but I'm upset because I never get to wear them. My husband would like for me to dress up to go places but if you're not taking me to places where a dressy outfit works, then I just feel overdressed. Who wants that?

I have all these dresses for a few reasons:

A) Most of them still fit me.
B) None of them are falling apart.
C) I either didn't pay for them or got them very cheap. I have this white dress dubbed my "Cinderella gown" that I paid $40 for.
D) They're in a variety of colors.
E) I had to get them for pageants or proms. They also came in handy for sorority formals.
F) I can't replace them for cheap since most of them are long, which was the style back when I was in high school. My mom wouldn't have let me get away w/some of the prom dresses I saw years later since they looked a little slutty & less classy to me.

I miss having occasions to wear them. That is, occasions that wouldn't cost me a ton of money to participate in. I don't have hundreds of dollars to go places where evening gowns are the norm. Plus, getting my husband to dress up is like pulling teeth. He's not the dress up type. In fact, it seems a lot of people he knows aren't the dress up type. I can't even find a decent club to go to with him so I can wear my club wear so imagine how hard this is to find.

Seriously, if you can find me a venue for these outfits that doesn't require me to spend money I don't have (even bar association black tie events are over $80 per ticket) you will be a great friend. I just have to find a way to carry comfortable shoes before I get to a dressy event if I'm traveling via subway. Heels and public transit do not mix on my feet.

Case in point: I was in my new black high heels and got blisters on the fronts of my toes that are STILL killing me. I thought I'd finally gotten an opportunity to wear an evening dress to something without having to pay ridiculous money. I even got my husband to dress up.

Unfortunately, I wasn't told the venue was in a smoking area & there was no smoke free space. That didn't work well for my husband so I had to leave. Eventually, that would have hit me as well considering I remember going to karaoke years back at this NC bar before the indoor smoking ban (yes, they do have these in NC). Talk about a smoker's paradise; you'd get all the second hand smoke you wanted & then some in that place.

I've even signed up for extra work when evening gowns were required if it was interior shots, ideally required someone to be attractive & I was available. Sadly, the closest I came to such an extra gig was the one on "Gossip Girl" & that's my newest formal dress. I got that dress b/c I thought it looked like an '80s prom dress & was looking for one for ages.

There's something about wearing an evening gown that just appeals to me. I'd probably make a good bridesmaid for hire since I'm used to being looked at and tend to look good in formal dress. I also carry it off well if you believe the people who give me compliments when I dress that way.

So I'll volunteer to go to black tie events if I don't have to pay for it & can bring my shoes with me so I don't get blisters from city walking. For industry events that are black tie, I'm in.