Wednesday, November 17, 2010

One Style You Don't Want Having a Comeback

That would be hot pants. We were watching The Best of I Love the 70's yesterday on VH1 (I still remember watching the very first I Love the 80s, which was great) & they were talking about hot pants. I pointed out that there's one style from the '70s that hasn't come back. My husband was shocked that was ever kosher since, after all you can see butt cheeks in some of them.

I know for a fact my mother would never have let me leave the house in them. Heck, my high school was whining about girls wearing spaghetti strap tank tops and shorts cut above fingertip length. That was over 10 years ago.

So why should we be glad it's not made a comeback?

1: High obesity rates. Today, you'd see piles of cellulite coming out of them on most people. We're not in a John Waters movie; no one wants to see that. There's enough problems w/people wearing spandex who shouldn't.

2: Hygiene. I would hate sitting on the NYC subway or in a NYC cab wearing them. It would just creep me out & wearing short shorts in the summer is hard enough without getting paranoid about germs on seats. I'm not even talking about the bedbug infestation but that would be even worse.

3: Hassle from men. Considering I've gotten hit on wearing incredibly conservative & even downright dumpy clothing (I even got flashed once in college while walking home from my job at Godiva), could you imagine what would happen if women like me wore hot pants? I think men would start pulling out their private parts while propositioning me. Yes, I appreciate compliments but if you're not married to me, I don't want to see your private parts & sure as hell will not be touching them. My husband would also like a word with you.

I've gotten whistled at just for wearing a skirt.

And if you doubt stuff like this might happen to me, then you've not known me that long or seen these things happen. I'm no liar & I've had witnesses for some of these unusual tales that didn't even happen in NYC.

Because I wasn't born until 1981 & have only seen hot pants worn on television, I'm just curious whether fat women who weren't in the sex industry wore them when they were a fad. I can't imagine my mother ever wearing them, for instance. If she has any tales of youthful adventure, she's never shared them w/me or my sister.

Now I'm not a prude by any stretch & I certainly have my share of revealing clothes but hot pants make my shortest skirt look Christian school appropriate by comparison.

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