My Disconnect From Law Land

Really, I feel like I'm definitely a lawyer 2nd. Maybe even 3rd. Once again, a group of lawyers has done something that crystallizes for me how unappreciated and unimportant I am to them.

I get an e-mail of announcements of events from this committee I belong to in a bar association. There's a lot of people's personal events; no mention of the "Miranda" screening even though I did send a mass e-mail to let people know. I try to make an effort to tell people what I'm doing since I can hardly get pissed at them for missing things they didn't even know about or get notice for. I also hate being told about something at the last second & then expected to drop everything.

I'd just as soon not elaborate to them on just why it might be in your best interest not to be a total dick to me but I did write the person who sent the announcement asking about the neglect of my event since A) it's at another bar association nearby, B) they're considering having a similar event for their own bar association & C) I'm supposed to be a valued member who is that much of a stage talent to have gotten the invite to join. I also feel like not getting credit for things or people mistaking my name on stuff is a sign that I'm a total outsider and can't be understood by these people. I also pointed out that I'd feel appreciated & that I actually mattered if it were announced. Face it, if I don't feel I matter to someone or something, I sure don't waste my time doing anything for that individual or group.

God knows we don't need my impression of lawyers to be more negative. It's already pretty much in the gutter aside from isolated individuals who can understand the creative mindset & that one might not like putting in her effort and using her connections to help some ungrateful so & so. My general hatred of bar associations is probably legendary at this point & I find the advice to new attorneys to network at them to be unhelpful.

Maybe I'm not as social as most people & the innate social tendency is dysfunctional in me. I always thought I fit Karen Horney's 3rd personality type: instead of moving toward or against people, I simply move away from them. It's a miracle I met my husband, who I think has that same tendency though it's probably greater w/him.

How else do you explain my instinct to just leave a situation if I feel like there's too much emotional crowding or that I'm being ignored/unappreciated/not valued? I'll say my piece & if I'm ignored or brushed off, I just see no need to deal with it anymore. If you know where I stand, I'm satisfied.

Life's way too short for emotional torture and I have too many people in life who do support my efforts and root for me instead of my opponents. As a whole, I still think the creative community rocks & is far more supportive than the legal community.

Pity the Goth store fools if they dare mess w/my husband's return since I have this to contribute to any righteous indignation. If they try to break the law, I will be naming names & warning you to stay away lest you have to face the same attempt to hustle an attorney.