Another insipid article I saw online that I'm sure someone is using as "the gospel."
For #1, I think music can be an issue if you violently hate a genre that your SO likes. For instance, I can't STAND country music. There's no way would I have married my husband if he was a fan of Garth Brooks or big on that genre. I'd have told him to move to the South since there's probably far more country music fans there. Not to mention I'm so unlike the Southern stereotypes, it's criminal to call ME a Southerner.
#2: I dated this guy in college who has forever been known as Psycho Boy. At that time, I was heading to my 2nd year of college; he had dropped out of high school. My own mother predicted that relationship wouldn't last b/c of the education divide. Plenty of other things ended it but looking back, I think the education level does make a difference if you want a long term future.
I've also had countless people say I use "big words" when I'm just speaking as I normally do. I don't go around trying to make people feel stupid (unless someone is being an ass to me). I don't think you have to prescribe to someone else's views but if you don't even know WHO I'm talking about, I think you're going to have serious problems. Not to mention income differences that can result.
#3: I have to disagree if you're noticing a pattern. One friend who does something stupid or annoying is one thing; a pack is a different story. My sister distanced herself from certain friends who were not very great parents and had different priorities from her--truth is your friends' behavior can easily rub off on you.
#4: Nope, this is a major problem. My own parents are living proof w/my father spending money on the debit card, not writing down what he spent & then my mother getting an unpleasant surprise when some bill needs to be paid. It made me refuse to share a checking account w/anyone. Now I may have trust issues here, but I would never share finances 50-50 w/a spendthrift. My own father stole money from me as a child & my own parents borrowed money from me as a kid since I actually saved my allowance. I'm still pissed about that.
#5: Never, in a million years, would I dare tell my husband how to dress OR pick out clothes for him. I wouldn't have done that to ANY man. Why???
Because it's rude & tacky. I can dress myself but I'm not a professional stylist so what entitles me to do it? Plus, girlfriend/wife DOES NOT = Mommy. Not my job to dress a grown up or make a man over. If you like someone, you accept that person for who they are NOT what you can make them.
It's the same thing as trying to make an alcoholic sober or fix a drug addict. You CAN'T do it. If the person wants to be a certain way, either deal with it or get out. If a man had ever done that to me, I'd be furious. People aren't Barbie and Ken dolls.
Needless to say, my husband would never be described as or say he's "whipped." I don't want to be anyone's warden; if I make someone that miserable, there's no point to dealing with me. A friend of mine told me a few days ago he wanted to find a woman like me; it's sad that more women haven't gotten a clue on some of this stuff. I'm sure they'd have happier relationships & be better people.
So the take home lesson here is: accept someone for who they are, warts & all or don't waste your time.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
More Basic Problems I Have w/"Typical Relationships"
Posted by Film Co. Lawyer at 10:20 AM
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