This post in the Punk Rock HR blog is a great sum up of what I'm concerned about w/respect to working in a day job.
Basically, where do you draw the line b/t someone's personal privacy & their abilities to do a job? I've asked this of HR bloggers since it seems that some HR employees are too busy playing Grammar Nazi w/someone's Twitter posts & berating people for having pictures of themselves w/beer bottles to do any ACTUAL WORK.
My boss recently friended me on Facebook. I asked whether I was going to have to worry about being fired b/c of anything I post there (since my profile does pertain to aspects of my private life). He says "No," and seemed shocked I'd even ask the question. I explained my reasoning & he seemed to think it was as messed up as I think it is.
That's just one reason why this guy is a good boss, at least to me. Most other bosses want to micromanage & stick their noses into your private business; at least, that's what I'm seeing today w/more technology. Let's fact it, if you're a business owner you'd need a boss like mine or you'd be miserable. It's great having a job where you're expected to be honest & deliver straight talk, no matter what the person wants to hear.
Thank God I did my low level work before Facebook, MySpace & Twitter became popular. I'm also glad I dated before that time; ironically, it was my husband who introduced me to MySpace. This was back before Rupert Murdoch owned it.
I have some very personal beliefs concerning abortion.
First off, unless you've been in the situation you need to shut the hell up! Men, until you can get pregnant don't even speak to me. As long as you can't contractually obligate a man to care for a baby once it's born & take him to court for damages to your body, medical appointments, etc. they're going to have fewer rights in those decisions than the woman who's carrying the fetus. The men who agree w/this basic reality are golden w/me. I made sure never to date a man who'd dare tell me what to do w/my own body if I were faced w/that situation; pro-lifers were out.
It would be like me trying to tell rape victims how to cope; I've never been in that situation so I know better than to open my mouth on that subject.
Second, I beg to differ on the "all women regret it" argument. There are people who don't take it that seriously & think like Sethe in the book Beloved: basically, that the embryo/fetus is better off not being born than being born into a drug den, abuse, poverty, rape victim, etc. I think we should reward people who make responsible choices & know when they shouldn't be bringing innocent children into the world to face abuse, diseases, ridicule, unfit parents, lives in the court system, excessive therapy, etc. It's the same reason why grown ups should make their own decisions on sterilization w/out pompous, know it all doctors trying to play God with their lives.
I personally had to fight tooth & nail to get a tubal ligation at 26 years old. Here's what's wrong w/that:
A) I'm a grown up
B) I agreed to sign a statement waiving liability to the doctor performing the surgery if I "changed my mind" since that would be my problem & mine alone
C) I'm a professional person who really loves her career & would resent a child for taking it away from me, thus negating my fitness to be a proper parent
D) My husband & I made the mutual decision not to have kids
E) It's MY FUCKING LIFE!!!!! MY body, MY life, MY marriage & MY family being affected. Not some doctor's. I don't have to play "Mother, May I" when it comes to my body, okay?
F) Legally speaking, I have every right to make my own decision on this one. The Supreme Court & the Constitution protect me & my marriage from this kind of intrusion via rulings on contraception.
If voluntary sterilization were more widely available to women who wanted it and agreed to waive liability for "changing their minds", I think we could start dealing w/the abortion issue. Until that time, women are stuck paying a lot of money for birth control, popping out at least 2 kids (and sometimes even that's not enough) or remaining life long virgins if they don't want kids.
Finally, the religious issue. For God's sake, don't quote the Bible to me.
Not everyone is a Christian & not everyone is a member of YOUR faith.
No one's making YOU get an abortion so unless you are going to adopt the child of the pregnant person you're berating for going to an abortion clinic, shut your pie hole & keep your Bible at your church. This is the essence of a free country; if you want a religious dictatorship, get out of America & form your own on some island no one is ruling over. Better yet, go live in Iraq.
If any employer at a job having nothing to do with the issue tried to disparage me at work or fire me for my views, there'd be some serious problems. I have to wonder when we're going to see some constitutional lawsuits on things like this since this is a free speech & expression issue. I predict that once we get some lawsuits on this kind of thing, employers won't get to use employees' personal lives in workplace matters when those stances or actions have ZERO to do w/the business or the employee's job title.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
To Be an Entertainment Executive
I guess I'll eventually have to write a book on doing this type of stuff in small entertainment companies. I've certainly learned many things working at my day job & in the film company.
One of the biggest things I've learned from my day job is this: Being an executive means sometimes having to hurt people's feelings. It means not taking shit from anyone & acting in the best interests of the company and your team.
When one person is trying to bring things down, it corrodes a company from within. Especially if the person is a wannabe who is A) young, B) doesn't know beans about the industry & C) immature. If you can't hack it with a soon to be national television network, then you need to be out the door.
One of the actors (let's use that term loosely) is known for being difficult, having an attitude problem and being immature. She's also known for being a liar. A co-worker who is also one of the network's writers informed me of this wannabe actor's shenanigans, including:
* Massive insubordination in the form of ignoring this person's authority
* Whining about personal problems (if you're hungry, eat before you get to the reading)
* Defaming the company to new actors & a new employee; and
* To top it off, telling one of the writers that she "didn't have to listen to any
f-ing body" but my boss b/c my boss is the one who signs her checks.
NONE of the writers want to work w/her & she's ticked off nearly all of my co-workers. The writer/co-worker informed my boss yesterday that if this actor didn't get terminated, she'd be quitting. My boss said he'd think about it.
The wannabe hasn't been nasty to me since I openly called her out for it the first time she tried it (my boss & another co-worker thought I was going to curse at her but I didn't). I also try to tell her things as someone who knows how execs, directors, producers, etc. think & the impression they form of actors doing things I hear about her doing.
After hearing this little comment about not having to listen to anyone, I would have dialed her up right then & there to confront her if her number had been in my reach.
Instead, I decide to have my boss hear what this co-worker just told me. Then I say that if this person isn't terminated, I will leave & take the actors I know w/me. I mentioned that I will not damage my film company's reputation by working someplace where some wannabe gets to ride shotgun over industry professionals & by extension, me; people there already know I'm not taking shit from anyone. I also pointed out the exact provision of the contract she's violated & that she could be sued for defamation of character for her statements to new actors.
Now, I like my boss. Nice guy. But I don't think he's had to get rid of people so much since he's given far more chances to folks than I or some of my co-workers would have. Maybe people have been more amenable to him than they have to me or some of the writers (their stories would make you shudder). Maybe he sees some of himself in this person. I don't know.
What I DO know is that I'm not paid to be a "yes" woman. I'm paid to help get the network off the ground & ensure that no one's sneaking around on the higher ups while they're doing more important things.
Being a lawyer should clear up any confusion about my duties to be "nice", a "doormat" or to let anyone push me or my co-workers around. I don't have to suck up & wouldn't do it anyway; I'm supposed to be candid & direct. If you try to stop me from doing these things, there's no point in wasting my time or yours.
I also know that when one inexperienced, immature person has alienated so many other people w/more important jobs, you need to side w/the people who are harder to replace & who have more industry experience. For me, I have responsibilities to the writers, investors, sponsors and anyone else whose reputation is being put on the line by working w/the network. No one wants to be around that. I'm also far harder to replace than any wannabe actor.
I understand the struggle to make it in this business but part of that success also falls on YOU. If you can't treat it like you would a day job, you don't belong there. Stick to school plays & less restrictive places where they might put up w/that mess. Don't do it w/any production company if you want to work as a full time actor.
One of the biggest things I've learned from my day job is this: Being an executive means sometimes having to hurt people's feelings. It means not taking shit from anyone & acting in the best interests of the company and your team.
When one person is trying to bring things down, it corrodes a company from within. Especially if the person is a wannabe who is A) young, B) doesn't know beans about the industry & C) immature. If you can't hack it with a soon to be national television network, then you need to be out the door.
One of the actors (let's use that term loosely) is known for being difficult, having an attitude problem and being immature. She's also known for being a liar. A co-worker who is also one of the network's writers informed me of this wannabe actor's shenanigans, including:
* Massive insubordination in the form of ignoring this person's authority
* Whining about personal problems (if you're hungry, eat before you get to the reading)
* Defaming the company to new actors & a new employee; and
* To top it off, telling one of the writers that she "didn't have to listen to any
f-ing body" but my boss b/c my boss is the one who signs her checks.
NONE of the writers want to work w/her & she's ticked off nearly all of my co-workers. The writer/co-worker informed my boss yesterday that if this actor didn't get terminated, she'd be quitting. My boss said he'd think about it.
The wannabe hasn't been nasty to me since I openly called her out for it the first time she tried it (my boss & another co-worker thought I was going to curse at her but I didn't). I also try to tell her things as someone who knows how execs, directors, producers, etc. think & the impression they form of actors doing things I hear about her doing.
After hearing this little comment about not having to listen to anyone, I would have dialed her up right then & there to confront her if her number had been in my reach.
Instead, I decide to have my boss hear what this co-worker just told me. Then I say that if this person isn't terminated, I will leave & take the actors I know w/me. I mentioned that I will not damage my film company's reputation by working someplace where some wannabe gets to ride shotgun over industry professionals & by extension, me; people there already know I'm not taking shit from anyone. I also pointed out the exact provision of the contract she's violated & that she could be sued for defamation of character for her statements to new actors.
Now, I like my boss. Nice guy. But I don't think he's had to get rid of people so much since he's given far more chances to folks than I or some of my co-workers would have. Maybe people have been more amenable to him than they have to me or some of the writers (their stories would make you shudder). Maybe he sees some of himself in this person. I don't know.
What I DO know is that I'm not paid to be a "yes" woman. I'm paid to help get the network off the ground & ensure that no one's sneaking around on the higher ups while they're doing more important things.
Being a lawyer should clear up any confusion about my duties to be "nice", a "doormat" or to let anyone push me or my co-workers around. I don't have to suck up & wouldn't do it anyway; I'm supposed to be candid & direct. If you try to stop me from doing these things, there's no point in wasting my time or yours.
I also know that when one inexperienced, immature person has alienated so many other people w/more important jobs, you need to side w/the people who are harder to replace & who have more industry experience. For me, I have responsibilities to the writers, investors, sponsors and anyone else whose reputation is being put on the line by working w/the network. No one wants to be around that. I'm also far harder to replace than any wannabe actor.
I understand the struggle to make it in this business but part of that success also falls on YOU. If you can't treat it like you would a day job, you don't belong there. Stick to school plays & less restrictive places where they might put up w/that mess. Don't do it w/any production company if you want to work as a full time actor.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
How You Know You're Following Your Passion
I work in Lower Manhattan & almost every weekday morning, I'm on the subway to go to work. Riding the subway is a unique, interesting experience. Some mornings you get free entertainment, an opportunity to buy candy bars, hear some interesting conversation and/or see some captivating people. It's one of those things I intend to do as much as possible, even once things start taking off in my career.
I feel like doing it is a way to keep yourself grounded & appreciate what you have. Not to mention the inspiration you can get from this ritual & it being cheaper than always taking cabs. I took MARTA in Atlanta but it has nothing on the NYC subway system.
This morning, I was sitting on the train as usual. What was different is that this guy in a suit carrying a style of bag you normally see lawyers with as well as what looked like a law book walked on. He stood in front of me & held the pole above my seat. He then opens the book, holds it in his other hand & starts reading. Since I always notice evidence of lawyers & law students on trains, I peered at the cover; it was a Constitutional Law book.
Two thoughts struck me:
1. Amazement that this guy could fully open & read the law book using one hand, hold the pole & not once stumble or lose his balance on the moving subway, even when we were traveling faster later on. I know I couldn't.
2. I LOVE doing what I do in the entertainment business. I love the fact that I can wear jeans & sneakers to work as well as be truly honest in doing things. I love that my opinion matters & that people listen to what I have to say. Even though I'm not making all that much doing it, I feel a true passion for it. The workday generally flies by, I have great co-workers to talk to & even if I'm not that busy, the day still moves on. I honestly look forward to going to work in the mornings & usually WANT to get up in the morning.
When I see lawyers on the subway, I'm happy not to be them. They usually look miserable & don't seem to have the passion I have for what I do. This is especially true w/younger lawyers.
I was struck by the fact that I'd be completely miserable if I were working in a law firm & having this calm, content feeling is great (finances be damned). I really think more people should figure out and follow their passion; the minute you start behaving like "a grown up" or tell others to do it & stop following "silly dreams", it means your soul has died.
People like that aren't able to see possibility & would rather whine about being miserable than take steps to change anything wrong in their lives. They really piss me off; if you aren't bothering to improve your own life, then don't whine to me about how bad you have it. Don't begrudge people of their happiness when you refuse to make yourself happy, okay?
I feel like doing it is a way to keep yourself grounded & appreciate what you have. Not to mention the inspiration you can get from this ritual & it being cheaper than always taking cabs. I took MARTA in Atlanta but it has nothing on the NYC subway system.
This morning, I was sitting on the train as usual. What was different is that this guy in a suit carrying a style of bag you normally see lawyers with as well as what looked like a law book walked on. He stood in front of me & held the pole above my seat. He then opens the book, holds it in his other hand & starts reading. Since I always notice evidence of lawyers & law students on trains, I peered at the cover; it was a Constitutional Law book.
Two thoughts struck me:
1. Amazement that this guy could fully open & read the law book using one hand, hold the pole & not once stumble or lose his balance on the moving subway, even when we were traveling faster later on. I know I couldn't.
2. I LOVE doing what I do in the entertainment business. I love the fact that I can wear jeans & sneakers to work as well as be truly honest in doing things. I love that my opinion matters & that people listen to what I have to say. Even though I'm not making all that much doing it, I feel a true passion for it. The workday generally flies by, I have great co-workers to talk to & even if I'm not that busy, the day still moves on. I honestly look forward to going to work in the mornings & usually WANT to get up in the morning.
When I see lawyers on the subway, I'm happy not to be them. They usually look miserable & don't seem to have the passion I have for what I do. This is especially true w/younger lawyers.
I was struck by the fact that I'd be completely miserable if I were working in a law firm & having this calm, content feeling is great (finances be damned). I really think more people should figure out and follow their passion; the minute you start behaving like "a grown up" or tell others to do it & stop following "silly dreams", it means your soul has died.
People like that aren't able to see possibility & would rather whine about being miserable than take steps to change anything wrong in their lives. They really piss me off; if you aren't bothering to improve your own life, then don't whine to me about how bad you have it. Don't begrudge people of their happiness when you refuse to make yourself happy, okay?
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Employment Based on Credit Records
This just pisses me off!
Okay, genius tell me how anyone's supposed to improve their situation when A) you refuse to consider someone for a job since they didn't pay their bills & B) the person has been unemployed or otherwise had no money to PAY for said bills.
This is the same reasoning used by character & fitness committees for attorneys trying to get admitted to the bar. It is 100% classist & completely offensive. As someone who was caught in this catch-22 herself, it still infuriates me to this day. Contrary to their theory, I had nothing else on my record. Not even a parking ticket to my name.
It's obvious to me that anyone looking at credit reports for a job that has nothing to do with the handling of money is a total moron who came from privilege. These types are almost at the top of my list of people who should die slow, painful deaths with no one to mourn them.
Now I know a fair number of people who came from money & the ones I bother to associate with are decent people. They understand that classism is no way to help a poor person; it just keeps people down & makes them resort to crime in order to survive. If I personally were in such a situation, you'd better believe I'd do whatever I had to in order to survive. That's simple human nature.
If I had my way, credit reports would be far easier to correct & carry much less weight in basic decisions such as getting a place to live, having car insurance and employment. Oh, and if you expect someone to pay a debt they'll never repay it if you get a judgment on them. That just messes up their credit report & guarantees he/she will NOT get a legitimate job that might pay enough to repay it.
Studies have shown that credit reports are not completely reliable & furthermore, these alleged connections to things like bad driving, not paying rent, being vulnerable to bribes, etc. are junk. Plenty of people with sterling credit are doing these things; yet no one gives a damn about THAT.
It makes me want to withdraw from society & not have a credit history at all; I'm not a Michael Moore fan or anything (in fact, I'm a fan of no one since I won't go through anyone's trash or scream like a teenager at anyone's presence) but I will give him credit for his statement in "Sicko" about the conspiracy in this country to keep young people in line by putting them in debt forever. Check it out sometime.
Okay, genius tell me how anyone's supposed to improve their situation when A) you refuse to consider someone for a job since they didn't pay their bills & B) the person has been unemployed or otherwise had no money to PAY for said bills.
This is the same reasoning used by character & fitness committees for attorneys trying to get admitted to the bar. It is 100% classist & completely offensive. As someone who was caught in this catch-22 herself, it still infuriates me to this day. Contrary to their theory, I had nothing else on my record. Not even a parking ticket to my name.
It's obvious to me that anyone looking at credit reports for a job that has nothing to do with the handling of money is a total moron who came from privilege. These types are almost at the top of my list of people who should die slow, painful deaths with no one to mourn them.
Now I know a fair number of people who came from money & the ones I bother to associate with are decent people. They understand that classism is no way to help a poor person; it just keeps people down & makes them resort to crime in order to survive. If I personally were in such a situation, you'd better believe I'd do whatever I had to in order to survive. That's simple human nature.
If I had my way, credit reports would be far easier to correct & carry much less weight in basic decisions such as getting a place to live, having car insurance and employment. Oh, and if you expect someone to pay a debt they'll never repay it if you get a judgment on them. That just messes up their credit report & guarantees he/she will NOT get a legitimate job that might pay enough to repay it.
Studies have shown that credit reports are not completely reliable & furthermore, these alleged connections to things like bad driving, not paying rent, being vulnerable to bribes, etc. are junk. Plenty of people with sterling credit are doing these things; yet no one gives a damn about THAT.
It makes me want to withdraw from society & not have a credit history at all; I'm not a Michael Moore fan or anything (in fact, I'm a fan of no one since I won't go through anyone's trash or scream like a teenager at anyone's presence) but I will give him credit for his statement in "Sicko" about the conspiracy in this country to keep young people in line by putting them in debt forever. Check it out sometime.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Drugs & My World
I caught this article not too long ago online.
It's funny that lawyers have some very high rates of alcoholism and depression compared to other professions, yet it seems drug use is implicitly encouraged. I read plenty of stories in online lawyer communities about lawyers taking speed to function in major law firms in big cities such as NYC; even "Mr. Belvedere", a sitcom from the '80s, did an episode on it. Certainly drug use is rampant in Hollywood & the entertainment industry.
You'd think that among all this, I'd be a drug addict myself. You'd be dead wrong, however. I happen to be 100%, completely drug free. No alcohol, no illegal drugs, not even prescription medication to alter my personality. There's a few reasons for this:
1. Living with an alcoholic who also did pot-- When your parents are doing something, the appeal to do it yourself just isn't there. One time, my father was actually drinking with an older kid in our neighborhood (who happened to be underage).
2. Being from the old school-- I didn't grow up in the era of ADD diagnosis & taking prescription drugs to make you happy. We'd be more likely to talk to a therapist & solve problems w/out using drugs.
3. Liking who I am-- I feel like taking drugs would make me into a more sane, "normal" & boring person. Who wants to be MORE normal? I didn't even like taking prescriptions after surgery & dental work since I felt being dependent on drugs would zap my creative energy + take away who I am as a person.
Now, I'm not some judgmental harpy. If you can function while taking drugs & I don't know about it, that's your business. Your life, your body.
Just don't let me see you do it & don't have illegal substances in my presence. Unless you're planning to pay all my school loans & debt if you get arrested for drug possession, I'm not going down w/you on that.
Oh, and don't act like my father. I still don't have a 100%, a-okay relationship w/the man & I don't see that changing w/out serious change on his part. I'm not going to relive my childhood & my husband knows that if he did any of that stuff, it would be a deal breaker. I dated guys who drank but I'd have never seriously considered a future w/them since I figure I'd have ended up pressured to drink all the time and planning a wedding would be a pain on that issue.
Basically, I figure no one will get me to do any type of substance unless I have a terminal illness/disease & I'm going to be dead in a few weeks or something. I refuse to give my father the satisfaction of ending up like him (he point blank told me I'd end up like him someday).
For the record I'm also not the only non-drinking, sober person in the legal or entertainment industry, all right? Just don't call me "straight edge" since I hate that term & have some life experience, thanks.
It's funny that lawyers have some very high rates of alcoholism and depression compared to other professions, yet it seems drug use is implicitly encouraged. I read plenty of stories in online lawyer communities about lawyers taking speed to function in major law firms in big cities such as NYC; even "Mr. Belvedere", a sitcom from the '80s, did an episode on it. Certainly drug use is rampant in Hollywood & the entertainment industry.
You'd think that among all this, I'd be a drug addict myself. You'd be dead wrong, however. I happen to be 100%, completely drug free. No alcohol, no illegal drugs, not even prescription medication to alter my personality. There's a few reasons for this:
1. Living with an alcoholic who also did pot-- When your parents are doing something, the appeal to do it yourself just isn't there. One time, my father was actually drinking with an older kid in our neighborhood (who happened to be underage).
2. Being from the old school-- I didn't grow up in the era of ADD diagnosis & taking prescription drugs to make you happy. We'd be more likely to talk to a therapist & solve problems w/out using drugs.
3. Liking who I am-- I feel like taking drugs would make me into a more sane, "normal" & boring person. Who wants to be MORE normal? I didn't even like taking prescriptions after surgery & dental work since I felt being dependent on drugs would zap my creative energy + take away who I am as a person.
Now, I'm not some judgmental harpy. If you can function while taking drugs & I don't know about it, that's your business. Your life, your body.
Just don't let me see you do it & don't have illegal substances in my presence. Unless you're planning to pay all my school loans & debt if you get arrested for drug possession, I'm not going down w/you on that.
Oh, and don't act like my father. I still don't have a 100%, a-okay relationship w/the man & I don't see that changing w/out serious change on his part. I'm not going to relive my childhood & my husband knows that if he did any of that stuff, it would be a deal breaker. I dated guys who drank but I'd have never seriously considered a future w/them since I figure I'd have ended up pressured to drink all the time and planning a wedding would be a pain on that issue.
Basically, I figure no one will get me to do any type of substance unless I have a terminal illness/disease & I'm going to be dead in a few weeks or something. I refuse to give my father the satisfaction of ending up like him (he point blank told me I'd end up like him someday).
For the record I'm also not the only non-drinking, sober person in the legal or entertainment industry, all right? Just don't call me "straight edge" since I hate that term & have some life experience, thanks.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
More Basic Problems I Have w/"Typical Relationships"
Another insipid article I saw online that I'm sure someone is using as "the gospel."
For #1, I think music can be an issue if you violently hate a genre that your SO likes. For instance, I can't STAND country music. There's no way would I have married my husband if he was a fan of Garth Brooks or big on that genre. I'd have told him to move to the South since there's probably far more country music fans there. Not to mention I'm so unlike the Southern stereotypes, it's criminal to call ME a Southerner.
#2: I dated this guy in college who has forever been known as Psycho Boy. At that time, I was heading to my 2nd year of college; he had dropped out of high school. My own mother predicted that relationship wouldn't last b/c of the education divide. Plenty of other things ended it but looking back, I think the education level does make a difference if you want a long term future.
I've also had countless people say I use "big words" when I'm just speaking as I normally do. I don't go around trying to make people feel stupid (unless someone is being an ass to me). I don't think you have to prescribe to someone else's views but if you don't even know WHO I'm talking about, I think you're going to have serious problems. Not to mention income differences that can result.
#3: I have to disagree if you're noticing a pattern. One friend who does something stupid or annoying is one thing; a pack is a different story. My sister distanced herself from certain friends who were not very great parents and had different priorities from her--truth is your friends' behavior can easily rub off on you.
#4: Nope, this is a major problem. My own parents are living proof w/my father spending money on the debit card, not writing down what he spent & then my mother getting an unpleasant surprise when some bill needs to be paid. It made me refuse to share a checking account w/anyone. Now I may have trust issues here, but I would never share finances 50-50 w/a spendthrift. My own father stole money from me as a child & my own parents borrowed money from me as a kid since I actually saved my allowance. I'm still pissed about that.
#5: Never, in a million years, would I dare tell my husband how to dress OR pick out clothes for him. I wouldn't have done that to ANY man. Why???
Because it's rude & tacky. I can dress myself but I'm not a professional stylist so what entitles me to do it? Plus, girlfriend/wife DOES NOT = Mommy. Not my job to dress a grown up or make a man over. If you like someone, you accept that person for who they are NOT what you can make them.
It's the same thing as trying to make an alcoholic sober or fix a drug addict. You CAN'T do it. If the person wants to be a certain way, either deal with it or get out. If a man had ever done that to me, I'd be furious. People aren't Barbie and Ken dolls.
Needless to say, my husband would never be described as or say he's "whipped." I don't want to be anyone's warden; if I make someone that miserable, there's no point to dealing with me. A friend of mine told me a few days ago he wanted to find a woman like me; it's sad that more women haven't gotten a clue on some of this stuff. I'm sure they'd have happier relationships & be better people.
So the take home lesson here is: accept someone for who they are, warts & all or don't waste your time.
For #1, I think music can be an issue if you violently hate a genre that your SO likes. For instance, I can't STAND country music. There's no way would I have married my husband if he was a fan of Garth Brooks or big on that genre. I'd have told him to move to the South since there's probably far more country music fans there. Not to mention I'm so unlike the Southern stereotypes, it's criminal to call ME a Southerner.
#2: I dated this guy in college who has forever been known as Psycho Boy. At that time, I was heading to my 2nd year of college; he had dropped out of high school. My own mother predicted that relationship wouldn't last b/c of the education divide. Plenty of other things ended it but looking back, I think the education level does make a difference if you want a long term future.
I've also had countless people say I use "big words" when I'm just speaking as I normally do. I don't go around trying to make people feel stupid (unless someone is being an ass to me). I don't think you have to prescribe to someone else's views but if you don't even know WHO I'm talking about, I think you're going to have serious problems. Not to mention income differences that can result.
#3: I have to disagree if you're noticing a pattern. One friend who does something stupid or annoying is one thing; a pack is a different story. My sister distanced herself from certain friends who were not very great parents and had different priorities from her--truth is your friends' behavior can easily rub off on you.
#4: Nope, this is a major problem. My own parents are living proof w/my father spending money on the debit card, not writing down what he spent & then my mother getting an unpleasant surprise when some bill needs to be paid. It made me refuse to share a checking account w/anyone. Now I may have trust issues here, but I would never share finances 50-50 w/a spendthrift. My own father stole money from me as a child & my own parents borrowed money from me as a kid since I actually saved my allowance. I'm still pissed about that.
#5: Never, in a million years, would I dare tell my husband how to dress OR pick out clothes for him. I wouldn't have done that to ANY man. Why???
Because it's rude & tacky. I can dress myself but I'm not a professional stylist so what entitles me to do it? Plus, girlfriend/wife DOES NOT = Mommy. Not my job to dress a grown up or make a man over. If you like someone, you accept that person for who they are NOT what you can make them.
It's the same thing as trying to make an alcoholic sober or fix a drug addict. You CAN'T do it. If the person wants to be a certain way, either deal with it or get out. If a man had ever done that to me, I'd be furious. People aren't Barbie and Ken dolls.
Needless to say, my husband would never be described as or say he's "whipped." I don't want to be anyone's warden; if I make someone that miserable, there's no point to dealing with me. A friend of mine told me a few days ago he wanted to find a woman like me; it's sad that more women haven't gotten a clue on some of this stuff. I'm sure they'd have happier relationships & be better people.
So the take home lesson here is: accept someone for who they are, warts & all or don't waste your time.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
The Benefits of a Live Program (chuckle)
I got an e-mail a few days ago from the NYC Bar Association that had this heading. When I saw it, I laughed. I'll tell you why in a bit.
First, let me explain this entry's title for those who aren't attorneys or professionals w/Continuing Education requirements to keep working in your field. If you have a professional license to do something (in my case being a lawyer), part of keeping that license is getting CLE (Continuing Legal Education) hours. There are certain types & amounts that you have to meet in a certain time period or you don't get to renew your professional license. If you're a lawyer, not meeting the CLE requirement usually means you're in hot water w/the state bar committee since they decide who gets to be a lawyer & who doesn't.
To meet these CLE hours, you can either go to a course in person or get DVDs/CDs of the courses in exchange for meeting the hours. In NY, you MUST attend in person for the first 2 years you've been admitted before getting to buy DVDs/CDs and doing it on your own.
Now, just like every lawyer I've met who works on the creative side of this industry, I'm not a big fan of bar associations as a whole. How come? Well:
A) A general problem w/the attitude & mindset of your typical lawyer
B) No one's doing what I'm doing. I'm lucky to meet an entertainment lawyer who only handles the legal side.
C) The utter lack of consideration for new attorneys or the impact the recession has had on them. There are events I'd go to, but I'm not paying $20 to go. I wouldn't even pay that to go to a club.
I also wouldn't go to NYC Bar for basic CLE programs since the price for them is highway robbery. NYCLA (New York County Lawyers Association) is my preferred vendor since their courses are about 1/2 the price of City Bar's & for Bridge the Gap, it was a decent rate. Now I've not taken courses as someone who isn't a newly admitted lawyer & City Bar may have more things for my industry but for basic stuff, I'd recommend NYCLA.
So you may wonder why I'm in ANY bar association? Fair question. CLE discounts, retailer discounts, access to the library & being on City Bar's entertainment committee.
I also figure I'll do much more quality networking through my involvement in City Bar & honestly have had more pleasant experiences at their events than I have at NYCLA's. Lawyers at many of the City Bar events have treated me as a colleague instead of as some newbie lawyer that has to impress them.
I don't have to impress ANY lawyer; in fact, it's not my task to actively impress most people. If I can't stand on my own without schmoozing or brown-nosing then I don't deserve anything from you, right? I generally don't have that kind of problem but tons of lawyers act that way & if you want to make me an enemy, just act like an elitist asshole w/no personality. Telling me to tolerate the game really doesn't make me want to hang around lawyers or have a damn thing to do with them, regardless of my being one. It just makes me cling to my perceptions even harder.
To give you an example of how out of place I am w/most lawyers, I actually left the NYCLA Young Lawyer's committee because I felt ignored. I made comments at the only meeting I went to that weren't even in the minutes. I didn't feel like a valued member or someone whose opinion counted; nor did anyone make me feel like they wanted to talk to me & obviously, no one was doing what I do.
How many people would you think have talked to me at any live CLE event? Come on, guess? Give up?
Two. These weren't even conversations that led to any future contact or friendship, nor went beyond simple pleasantries. So I find it hilarious that a bar association would try to encourage me to go to a live course by saying I can network there.
How can I network when no one bothers to even exchange pleasantries with me? I've heard other people at these events talk about the snobbery of other lawyers attending. To any lawyer's snobbery to me, I say "Fuck you & the horse you rode in on." I've forgotten more about being a snob than you're ever going to know, believe it or not. I was called a prep in middle school despite being tormented by that very crowd & being stuck in classes with them. I'm sure people are STILL calling me a snob since I'm quiet and have to get to know you before I'll even think about trusting you with minor stuff.
People who do the same stuff I do in the industry have told me about feeling the exact same way about going to live CLE events & seeing the exact same attitude. I bet a good chunk of it is envy & jealousy among these jerks since we don't have to impress THEM or play their game.
Let's also get something else straight about networking: when it's with lawyers, you're NEVER on equal footing unless one's years in practice, technical skill or ability to stop you from moving up are a non-issue. I think it's a non-issue in creative stuff like stage performance or playing a game unrelated to the legal field but otherwise, forget it. It's just a dog & pony show.
The creative arena is MUCH more supportive of newer people in the field & doesn't work as a hierarchy with respect to people doing different jobs. Not all actors can become directors or producers & the skills are different for all those jobs. There are directors and producers who were never actors. Yeah there are rules but overall, there's also much more respect & a willingness to pay it forward than I see in the legal field. Not to mention encouraging individuality & doing things differently, unlike with typical lawyers. I see a lot less snobbery among higher ups in entertainment since there's consequences for that.
The biggest thing that bothers me about lawyers is a total lack of loyalty to fellow lawyers. There's so much back-biting, put downs & clique mentality, it's not funny. I left that 7th grade behavior in 7th grade; it was immature then & it's even more immature to see it in grown ups.
So needless to say, I'll be getting CLE credits on my own & through alternate efforts. I'm thrilled I never have to go to a live course ever again. The only lawyer acquaintances or friends I have either worked in the industry, have some creative bone in their body or had similar struggles to mine so they're also calling BS on stuff like this. Those people are cool with me; otherwise, I join in the chorus of people who say they hate lawyers.
First, let me explain this entry's title for those who aren't attorneys or professionals w/Continuing Education requirements to keep working in your field. If you have a professional license to do something (in my case being a lawyer), part of keeping that license is getting CLE (Continuing Legal Education) hours. There are certain types & amounts that you have to meet in a certain time period or you don't get to renew your professional license. If you're a lawyer, not meeting the CLE requirement usually means you're in hot water w/the state bar committee since they decide who gets to be a lawyer & who doesn't.
To meet these CLE hours, you can either go to a course in person or get DVDs/CDs of the courses in exchange for meeting the hours. In NY, you MUST attend in person for the first 2 years you've been admitted before getting to buy DVDs/CDs and doing it on your own.
Now, just like every lawyer I've met who works on the creative side of this industry, I'm not a big fan of bar associations as a whole. How come? Well:
A) A general problem w/the attitude & mindset of your typical lawyer
B) No one's doing what I'm doing. I'm lucky to meet an entertainment lawyer who only handles the legal side.
C) The utter lack of consideration for new attorneys or the impact the recession has had on them. There are events I'd go to, but I'm not paying $20 to go. I wouldn't even pay that to go to a club.
I also wouldn't go to NYC Bar for basic CLE programs since the price for them is highway robbery. NYCLA (New York County Lawyers Association) is my preferred vendor since their courses are about 1/2 the price of City Bar's & for Bridge the Gap, it was a decent rate. Now I've not taken courses as someone who isn't a newly admitted lawyer & City Bar may have more things for my industry but for basic stuff, I'd recommend NYCLA.
So you may wonder why I'm in ANY bar association? Fair question. CLE discounts, retailer discounts, access to the library & being on City Bar's entertainment committee.
I also figure I'll do much more quality networking through my involvement in City Bar & honestly have had more pleasant experiences at their events than I have at NYCLA's. Lawyers at many of the City Bar events have treated me as a colleague instead of as some newbie lawyer that has to impress them.
I don't have to impress ANY lawyer; in fact, it's not my task to actively impress most people. If I can't stand on my own without schmoozing or brown-nosing then I don't deserve anything from you, right? I generally don't have that kind of problem but tons of lawyers act that way & if you want to make me an enemy, just act like an elitist asshole w/no personality. Telling me to tolerate the game really doesn't make me want to hang around lawyers or have a damn thing to do with them, regardless of my being one. It just makes me cling to my perceptions even harder.
To give you an example of how out of place I am w/most lawyers, I actually left the NYCLA Young Lawyer's committee because I felt ignored. I made comments at the only meeting I went to that weren't even in the minutes. I didn't feel like a valued member or someone whose opinion counted; nor did anyone make me feel like they wanted to talk to me & obviously, no one was doing what I do.
How many people would you think have talked to me at any live CLE event? Come on, guess? Give up?
Two. These weren't even conversations that led to any future contact or friendship, nor went beyond simple pleasantries. So I find it hilarious that a bar association would try to encourage me to go to a live course by saying I can network there.
How can I network when no one bothers to even exchange pleasantries with me? I've heard other people at these events talk about the snobbery of other lawyers attending. To any lawyer's snobbery to me, I say "Fuck you & the horse you rode in on." I've forgotten more about being a snob than you're ever going to know, believe it or not. I was called a prep in middle school despite being tormented by that very crowd & being stuck in classes with them. I'm sure people are STILL calling me a snob since I'm quiet and have to get to know you before I'll even think about trusting you with minor stuff.
People who do the same stuff I do in the industry have told me about feeling the exact same way about going to live CLE events & seeing the exact same attitude. I bet a good chunk of it is envy & jealousy among these jerks since we don't have to impress THEM or play their game.
Let's also get something else straight about networking: when it's with lawyers, you're NEVER on equal footing unless one's years in practice, technical skill or ability to stop you from moving up are a non-issue. I think it's a non-issue in creative stuff like stage performance or playing a game unrelated to the legal field but otherwise, forget it. It's just a dog & pony show.
The creative arena is MUCH more supportive of newer people in the field & doesn't work as a hierarchy with respect to people doing different jobs. Not all actors can become directors or producers & the skills are different for all those jobs. There are directors and producers who were never actors. Yeah there are rules but overall, there's also much more respect & a willingness to pay it forward than I see in the legal field. Not to mention encouraging individuality & doing things differently, unlike with typical lawyers. I see a lot less snobbery among higher ups in entertainment since there's consequences for that.
The biggest thing that bothers me about lawyers is a total lack of loyalty to fellow lawyers. There's so much back-biting, put downs & clique mentality, it's not funny. I left that 7th grade behavior in 7th grade; it was immature then & it's even more immature to see it in grown ups.
So needless to say, I'll be getting CLE credits on my own & through alternate efforts. I'm thrilled I never have to go to a live course ever again. The only lawyer acquaintances or friends I have either worked in the industry, have some creative bone in their body or had similar struggles to mine so they're also calling BS on stuff like this. Those people are cool with me; otherwise, I join in the chorus of people who say they hate lawyers.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Children in Bars
My husband was telling me about comments on this issue yesterday but I hadn't seen it until I did a web search. Apparently, this is what happens in Park Slope.
I'm not big on hipsters to begin with. What I mean by "hipster" is "artist living off a trust fund & behaving as a poser instead of a TRUE artist." Someone who has no originality, blindly follows trends & walks around w/an attitude of entitlement: that's my definition of a hipster.
But worse than a hipster is the "hipster breeder." This means someone who has children & refuses to behave like a decent parent. Taking kids into bars (as opposed to TGIFridays, Chili's or some place that's more of a family restaurant) is disgusting. I think someone who does it should be called out & have CPS investigate them.
Guess what? You get ONE or the OTHER. You can be a single person & go to bars or you can be a parent & raise kids. When you become a parent, it's not appropriate to take your kids to bars, do drugs or expose them to adult activity. Do you also let them watch you have sex??? Light up joints? My sister knows parents who have done drugs while their young kids were asleep in the SAME house & no sober adults were around. How responsible is that???
Part of my disgust comes from the fact that my father's a practicing alcoholic & smoked a fair amount of pot in my late high school/college years. As in, walking into the house and being hit with a cascade of pot odor. Didn't exactly like growing up to see my father get drunk & throw things at us. It's not much fun to have someone embarrass you all the time & having it limit your outside interactions with people for fear they won't talk to you if they know the truth.
When a parent gets so drunk they can't take you to things you were looking forward to or you fear people you know seeing that parent intoxicated somewhere in town, it makes you less enthused about exposing children to drinking.
If you want to be a parent, then be a PARENT. Don't be stuck in your single days.
At least being married, I can go out with my husband and we can speak as adults. If we want to make out or curse, we don't need or want some ignorant entitlemoo (to borrow a childfree term) telling us to shield her little precious from adult content in an adult space. Burn in hell!! No parent I know of would even THINK of taking their kid into a bar. I wouldn't even take a kid to the Comedy Cellar or some of the UCB Theater shows. I would be just as disgusted seeing a kid in a dance club considering the type of dancing that goes on.
I know what raising a kid properly entails & that's why I refuse to do it. I won't give up my career or the fun aspects of my marriage for one; if you'd resent a kid for cramping your style, it means you shouldn't have one. Get it?
I'm not big on hipsters to begin with. What I mean by "hipster" is "artist living off a trust fund & behaving as a poser instead of a TRUE artist." Someone who has no originality, blindly follows trends & walks around w/an attitude of entitlement: that's my definition of a hipster.
But worse than a hipster is the "hipster breeder." This means someone who has children & refuses to behave like a decent parent. Taking kids into bars (as opposed to TGIFridays, Chili's or some place that's more of a family restaurant) is disgusting. I think someone who does it should be called out & have CPS investigate them.
Guess what? You get ONE or the OTHER. You can be a single person & go to bars or you can be a parent & raise kids. When you become a parent, it's not appropriate to take your kids to bars, do drugs or expose them to adult activity. Do you also let them watch you have sex??? Light up joints? My sister knows parents who have done drugs while their young kids were asleep in the SAME house & no sober adults were around. How responsible is that???
Part of my disgust comes from the fact that my father's a practicing alcoholic & smoked a fair amount of pot in my late high school/college years. As in, walking into the house and being hit with a cascade of pot odor. Didn't exactly like growing up to see my father get drunk & throw things at us. It's not much fun to have someone embarrass you all the time & having it limit your outside interactions with people for fear they won't talk to you if they know the truth.
When a parent gets so drunk they can't take you to things you were looking forward to or you fear people you know seeing that parent intoxicated somewhere in town, it makes you less enthused about exposing children to drinking.
If you want to be a parent, then be a PARENT. Don't be stuck in your single days.
At least being married, I can go out with my husband and we can speak as adults. If we want to make out or curse, we don't need or want some ignorant entitlemoo (to borrow a childfree term) telling us to shield her little precious from adult content in an adult space. Burn in hell!! No parent I know of would even THINK of taking their kid into a bar. I wouldn't even take a kid to the Comedy Cellar or some of the UCB Theater shows. I would be just as disgusted seeing a kid in a dance club considering the type of dancing that goes on.
I know what raising a kid properly entails & that's why I refuse to do it. I won't give up my career or the fun aspects of my marriage for one; if you'd resent a kid for cramping your style, it means you shouldn't have one. Get it?
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Illegal Immigration & Racism
I'm way behind on my rants & I told you it was coming, but it seems that if you're pro-illegal immigration, you're also a racist.
Have to say I do agree w/the point of the article. I remember being in high school & a friend of mine (she happened to be black) had the EXACT same things to say about the sudden rise of illegals in our hometown as I did. The biggest problem we saw was the utter rudeness we had to encounter; men in these families would leer & stare at you as though you were Cindy Crawford. My own mother was subject to racial slurs, being called "Lucy" by the illegals living in our neighborhood at that time & my sister's friend had some of these assholes making nasty remarks about her butt in Spanish.
Guess what? NO ONE likes being stared at. NO ONE likes unprovoked racial slurs, especially when they've lived someplace a LOT longer than you. NO ONE likes newcomers who refuse to adapt to their way of life & demanding everyone else cater to them by learning THEIR language, letting them run wild on the streets and generally acting entitled to all this nonsense.
My family lived in the thick of this back in the late '90s. It's STILL a problem today; now they're happy living elsewhere. It's not even limited to the South. My husband has told me about the same issues going on in Long Island and the rather clever response of the local racists when there was talk of building a community center for the waiting day laborers; that response was "now we can bomb the place & solve the problem of their presence."
Having lived in major cities as well as my hometown, I have to say that certain areas of the country should not get involved in this debate. In New York City and Atlanta, I have not faced the same kinds of problems. People either know the language or are incredibly polite if they don't. There's very little demands to cater to the foreign language speakers. Many people who immigrated to this country can't stand the illegals who refuse to adapt to American life or deliberately jumped the line & didn't legally become citizens like many of them did; they agree that when you go to a new country, you need to adapt to that country's ways instead of demanding the country to adapt to you.
When I was very young, we lived on a military base in Texas. In Texas, there was a similar congeniality on languages.
Here's my basic thoughts (if you're not fleeing genocide or basic threats to your life):
If you learn the language, don't commit crime, follow our laws & aren't living off the government, you're cool. You're the kind of immigrant who SHOULD be living here & should probably get to exchange citizenship w/some unhappy American who wants to defect (or one of the many sheeple). You deserve fair wages, decent housing and to be treated the same as anyone else in this country.
But if you're refusing to learn English, standing in rallies demanding rights, stealing someone's identity to get a job or license you shouldn't even have, not carrying insurance, being a bigot, didn't bother becoming a legal citizen, have a million kids you refuse to take care of and otherwise acting like a jerk, get out!! We have enough problems w/actual citizens.
I also have some harsh words for employers and people hiring illegals. Cut the crap!!! Plenty of citizens are unemployed right now & deserve better than 3rd world wages. For that matter, you shouldn't be allowed to pay those kinds of wages to illegals either. Just b/c that 3rd world wage is lots of money in some other country doesn't mean you get to shortchange that person when (s)he is in THIS country where things cost much more.
Yeah, there's the noise about the economy & "blah, blah, blah." Prices going up & all that. My response is stop excusing law breaking. Should we also let rapists & child molesters run free? Should murders be treated like nothing since we never punish illegals for anything? I know an illegal who beat an infant & that little girl will never be the same. He also beat my sister's friend; do you think anyone tried to have HIM deported???? NOOOOO!!!
Yet someone from a Middle Eastern country can do something minor & the government will lock that person up instantly. This disgusts me on so many levels, it's not funny. Life isn't easy & I'm right behind the people who say no amnesty for popping out a hundred babies that are getting government aid. I'm sure the next terrorist move will be to make a deal w/Mexico & having terrorists walk in alongside the illegals who stream in daily. That's where the smart money would be.
Let's make such decisions on a case by case basis & keep the people who are following basic laws, learning the language and think of themselves as Americans first & foremost. If my husband or I were in politics, we'd either be beloved or hated depending on who you talked to.
Oh, and if you're not LIVING in neighborhoods w/illegals acting in offensive manners keep your mouth shut. Don't call someone a racist while you're living in a McMansion in the suburbs far away from the realities of an entitled, clannish population that considers you an intruder. When YOU live around these people & see what goes on, then you'll have an opinion worth listening to. Otherwise, no one wants to hear it.
Have to say I do agree w/the point of the article. I remember being in high school & a friend of mine (she happened to be black) had the EXACT same things to say about the sudden rise of illegals in our hometown as I did. The biggest problem we saw was the utter rudeness we had to encounter; men in these families would leer & stare at you as though you were Cindy Crawford. My own mother was subject to racial slurs, being called "Lucy" by the illegals living in our neighborhood at that time & my sister's friend had some of these assholes making nasty remarks about her butt in Spanish.
Guess what? NO ONE likes being stared at. NO ONE likes unprovoked racial slurs, especially when they've lived someplace a LOT longer than you. NO ONE likes newcomers who refuse to adapt to their way of life & demanding everyone else cater to them by learning THEIR language, letting them run wild on the streets and generally acting entitled to all this nonsense.
My family lived in the thick of this back in the late '90s. It's STILL a problem today; now they're happy living elsewhere. It's not even limited to the South. My husband has told me about the same issues going on in Long Island and the rather clever response of the local racists when there was talk of building a community center for the waiting day laborers; that response was "now we can bomb the place & solve the problem of their presence."
Having lived in major cities as well as my hometown, I have to say that certain areas of the country should not get involved in this debate. In New York City and Atlanta, I have not faced the same kinds of problems. People either know the language or are incredibly polite if they don't. There's very little demands to cater to the foreign language speakers. Many people who immigrated to this country can't stand the illegals who refuse to adapt to American life or deliberately jumped the line & didn't legally become citizens like many of them did; they agree that when you go to a new country, you need to adapt to that country's ways instead of demanding the country to adapt to you.
When I was very young, we lived on a military base in Texas. In Texas, there was a similar congeniality on languages.
Here's my basic thoughts (if you're not fleeing genocide or basic threats to your life):
If you learn the language, don't commit crime, follow our laws & aren't living off the government, you're cool. You're the kind of immigrant who SHOULD be living here & should probably get to exchange citizenship w/some unhappy American who wants to defect (or one of the many sheeple). You deserve fair wages, decent housing and to be treated the same as anyone else in this country.
But if you're refusing to learn English, standing in rallies demanding rights, stealing someone's identity to get a job or license you shouldn't even have, not carrying insurance, being a bigot, didn't bother becoming a legal citizen, have a million kids you refuse to take care of and otherwise acting like a jerk, get out!! We have enough problems w/actual citizens.
I also have some harsh words for employers and people hiring illegals. Cut the crap!!! Plenty of citizens are unemployed right now & deserve better than 3rd world wages. For that matter, you shouldn't be allowed to pay those kinds of wages to illegals either. Just b/c that 3rd world wage is lots of money in some other country doesn't mean you get to shortchange that person when (s)he is in THIS country where things cost much more.
Yeah, there's the noise about the economy & "blah, blah, blah." Prices going up & all that. My response is stop excusing law breaking. Should we also let rapists & child molesters run free? Should murders be treated like nothing since we never punish illegals for anything? I know an illegal who beat an infant & that little girl will never be the same. He also beat my sister's friend; do you think anyone tried to have HIM deported???? NOOOOO!!!
Yet someone from a Middle Eastern country can do something minor & the government will lock that person up instantly. This disgusts me on so many levels, it's not funny. Life isn't easy & I'm right behind the people who say no amnesty for popping out a hundred babies that are getting government aid. I'm sure the next terrorist move will be to make a deal w/Mexico & having terrorists walk in alongside the illegals who stream in daily. That's where the smart money would be.
Let's make such decisions on a case by case basis & keep the people who are following basic laws, learning the language and think of themselves as Americans first & foremost. If my husband or I were in politics, we'd either be beloved or hated depending on who you talked to.
Oh, and if you're not LIVING in neighborhoods w/illegals acting in offensive manners keep your mouth shut. Don't call someone a racist while you're living in a McMansion in the suburbs far away from the realities of an entitled, clannish population that considers you an intruder. When YOU live around these people & see what goes on, then you'll have an opinion worth listening to. Otherwise, no one wants to hear it.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Internet is FINALLY Back Up
After what seemed like an eternity, we finally figured out the problem w/our home Internet. Apparently, we not only had the line go down but also had a problem w/our modem. The ethernet connection isn't connecting properly so now we're getting a replacement modem.
Good words to Verizon for giving us a free one in exchange for signing up for a very fairly priced service plan for the replacement. The tech my husband dealt with today had a clue, unlike many prior people he'd dealt with.
So my little rant about Internet tech support is as old as the hills but I do agree w/the camp that says "stop it w/the offices in India." At the very least, train those people to do more than read a freaking script!!! Perhaps there should be regional tech support services when dealing w/regions of the country where accents are impossible to understand or there's a significant barrier to communication due to slang. My husband & I are much better at understanding certain accents b/c of working or calling local food places so much. This isn't true everywhere, though. Even a Pakistani co-worker of my husband's doesn't like dealing w/tech support people outside of the US so that has to tell you something.
A company doing this could make a killing in getting new customers, employing lots of unemployed people & getting great PR. I know the outsourcing craze w/IT has apparently ended due to slipshod work; I await that for document review in the legal field, though I have no personal stake in the matter & left the one assignment I went on after the person in charge dared to ban people from going to the break room a few floors down from the work space. Don't put ME in a Wal-Mart type job atmosphere; I'm the sort who'll come in w/guns blazing if you push me too far. I also tend to inspire people not to take BS, freely talk to others to compare notes & am more than willing to assert myself if someone dares to mess w/me. If you messed w/me & you have me handling your food, I'm just the type who'd tamper w/it. Guess it's a good thing I've never been a waitress, never had to go through hazing in my sorority days or worked w/anyone who dared to play power games w/me--I freely admit to having a temper & holding grudges.
My tolerance for BS has decreased even further since I went to law school. Doing what I do in the entertainment business demands a backbone; you can't enforce policies or keep people in line if you're not firm or matter of fact. Sweetness & light is for the South; if you expect it from a lawyer or in the entertainment business, you need to get out. Even a Southern lawyer isn't going to take nonsense from people & half the time people are being sweet to you down there, they're cutting you down behind your back. Take it from someone who lived there close to 20 years.
To solve this in the future, I'm looking into getting a laptop for business when we've got the money. However, this is exactly why everyone should have a friend who's a computer expert. Even better if you manage to date one; I got a free computer from a GA Tech guy I dated who did coding for a living & cared that my PC was messing up on me. That was the only good thing I got out of that relationship, though. My views on relationships could support a stand up routine or a novel.
Good words to Verizon for giving us a free one in exchange for signing up for a very fairly priced service plan for the replacement. The tech my husband dealt with today had a clue, unlike many prior people he'd dealt with.
So my little rant about Internet tech support is as old as the hills but I do agree w/the camp that says "stop it w/the offices in India." At the very least, train those people to do more than read a freaking script!!! Perhaps there should be regional tech support services when dealing w/regions of the country where accents are impossible to understand or there's a significant barrier to communication due to slang. My husband & I are much better at understanding certain accents b/c of working or calling local food places so much. This isn't true everywhere, though. Even a Pakistani co-worker of my husband's doesn't like dealing w/tech support people outside of the US so that has to tell you something.
A company doing this could make a killing in getting new customers, employing lots of unemployed people & getting great PR. I know the outsourcing craze w/IT has apparently ended due to slipshod work; I await that for document review in the legal field, though I have no personal stake in the matter & left the one assignment I went on after the person in charge dared to ban people from going to the break room a few floors down from the work space. Don't put ME in a Wal-Mart type job atmosphere; I'm the sort who'll come in w/guns blazing if you push me too far. I also tend to inspire people not to take BS, freely talk to others to compare notes & am more than willing to assert myself if someone dares to mess w/me. If you messed w/me & you have me handling your food, I'm just the type who'd tamper w/it. Guess it's a good thing I've never been a waitress, never had to go through hazing in my sorority days or worked w/anyone who dared to play power games w/me--I freely admit to having a temper & holding grudges.
My tolerance for BS has decreased even further since I went to law school. Doing what I do in the entertainment business demands a backbone; you can't enforce policies or keep people in line if you're not firm or matter of fact. Sweetness & light is for the South; if you expect it from a lawyer or in the entertainment business, you need to get out. Even a Southern lawyer isn't going to take nonsense from people & half the time people are being sweet to you down there, they're cutting you down behind your back. Take it from someone who lived there close to 20 years.
To solve this in the future, I'm looking into getting a laptop for business when we've got the money. However, this is exactly why everyone should have a friend who's a computer expert. Even better if you manage to date one; I got a free computer from a GA Tech guy I dated who did coding for a living & cared that my PC was messing up on me. That was the only good thing I got out of that relationship, though. My views on relationships could support a stand up routine or a novel.
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