Thursday, December 30, 2010

More Life Stuff

Well, I saw this & was quite gratified. My road wasn't even plowed until maybe right near the 7 a.m. deadline promised by the Director of Sanitation. I didn't go to bed until 4 & we didn't hear anyone driving down our street. This silence on our block for days on end will never happen again since cars are always driving down.

I'm also glad I didn't vote for Bloomberg & think the mayor of Newark kicks ass for going out into the mess. That guy gives a damn about his city & isn't a classist asshole who's too good to trudge out there. I tell you, if I were the mother of that baby who died in Brooklyn b/c the emergency folk couldn't get to where she was due to lack of snow cleanup I'd be going to see Bloomberg in person and demanding him to justify his elitism. You can break people if you're dedicated & when you bring a tragic situation right to someone's face, you're more likely to succeed. That's why I think kids should see the Censored 11 cartoons if you really want to teach them why racism is bad. It brings the spirit of those times & shows you racism instead of just telling you about it.

Things are much better for me but lately, I've been concerned lately about a close friend of mine. As you know from reading this blog, religion was quite pervasive in my childhood. I even went to a religious private school at one time. This close friend was, like me, from a religious household. Like many others, she also married young and stayed in our hometown.

She was in this tableau of the happy housewife/loving mother until very recently. Now I think she, like anyone else, should have gotten the opportunity to sow wild oates, date around & spend time figuring out her own identity, what "happily ever after" would mean to her, etc. I have to agree with a gentleman I met one night in Buckhead when I was at a club in Atlanta. He was in town on business & if he'd not had an early morning meeting, he said he'd have wanted to do the nasty w/me (not those exact words but you get the idea). Aside from that (and being cute enough for me to seriously consider it but only w/protection), he told me point blank that I shouldn't even consider getting married before turning 25. This is sage advice for anyone, if you ask me. You should spend time figuring out yourself, having experiences to draw upon when you're old, etc.

So, unfortunately my friend's unhappiness has hit the breaking point. She & her estranged hubby have a child together and there's been accusations that she committed adultery.

Remember when I said she was also from a religious family? Her father was livid & actually fired her for no good reason. He's apparently also living up to Christian hypocrisy by acting like anything but, including injecting himself into this private situation.

It gets even more complicated in that a new guy has entered the picture, has similar relationship baggage & that his baby mama (as I'm not sure precisely if she's an ex-fiancee or ex-girlfriend) hates my friend. I heard about a possible new wrinkle to this tale that makes my friend more like a Jerry Springer cliche than the church goer I remember her to be.

I left her a message on Christmas Eve wishing her a good holiday & wanting to talk to her. You do that for friends. Problem is, I've not heard from her & only hear about her through my family. This is someone who's like a sister to me & she should know that she doesn't need to put on some happy show or happy face for me. If I became a celebrity, she's one of the few people I could be myself around & not wonder if she had an angle.

I'm also not a judgmental person & don't consider religion a panacea. Plenty of people do just fine without going to church every Sunday or falling in line w/the preaching hypocrites.

After I heard about the potentially new wrinkle, it occurred to me that her dad is probably disappointed & feels like a failure as a parent. I still don't condone his behavior + think it confirms every non-religious person's hatred of fundies, born agains & their ilk.

Do I approve of all this? Hell no! I feel like my friend is turning into some of my sister's former friends who put men ahead of their kids. If these assholes are the same ones trying to have me breed, they've added the sin of hypocrisy to their misdeeds.

I'm really hoping that new wrinkle is a false alarm or I'm going to have to say something that will probably be taken badly but I strongly believe should be done for all that is good and fair in this world. I also can't condone anyone emotionally abusing a child since I had to go through that myself as a child. I remember lots of hurtful things that were said to me: for instance, an aunt telling me & my sister that she loved my cousins more than us.

I also feel like I'm being snubbed & that this person may not deserve to be a close friend if I can't get that reciprocation. After all, my husband's my closest friend & he wouldn't shut me out from a problem. I prefer to have quality over quantity in any aspect of my life & people are no exception.

Where's the friendship if you don't even bother to talk to a close friend? If it's not wanting to hear the truth from me, too bad. I acknowledge that your life is yours alone to live but I'm not a Yes Woman. I'm not interested in being one either.

Quickest way to avoid becoming a Yes (Wo)man? Become an attorney. Attorneys are supposed to deliver the truth, good or bad. If they don't, they get blamed when things fall apart.

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