Dragging Men Shopping & Not Wanting to Be a Brawn Person

This is my first attempt to get some blog posts out of me before I explode. The past 4 days were super crazy busy so didn't have any time until now to start with this.

In the midst of the craziness (or maybe before it started), I saw this post from 1,000 Ways to Die (the show may have ended but they still have a presence on Facebook) about men being dragged shopping by women. That is something that puzzles me since I have never made a man go shopping with me. I actually prefer to shop alone since I do have a good sense of style & know what works for me or not. I usually don't need other opinions & to quote Margaret Cho "Men do not want to go shopping. If they do, they're gay."

Now if I had some gay male friends who'd go shopping with me & really wanted to go, I'd certainly take any of them who asked. I don't, though. Most of the men in my life are straight. I wouldn't make a guy friend go shopping with me since I don't keep friends I hate.

The biggest reason I don't get that whole thing goes back to my teenage years. When I was 15 years old, I got a job at JcPenney. I was hired to work in the Lingerie/Sleepwear section, though it was part of 3 girly departments (the other 2 were Handbags/Accessories & Hosiery). Hosiery was the department where you managed a till & could easily get bored. It was a very easy section to work in & you didn't have to do much. The upside was you had a view of the main drag of the store so you could people watch often. I usually ended up doing that, especially when cute guys walked by. Some of them probably checked me out but at that time, my parents would never have let me date anyone I met at work since that guy likely would have been older.

One of the big things that happened in Lingerie/Sleepwear was you'd see men & boys with pained expressions on their faces in the section because women dragged them there. They would usually sit in the chairs we had out. The chairs were conveniently located near our registers. Sometimes they started conversations with us but I always felt compelled to talk to them since as a sales associate, it was my job to make customers feel good about being in the store vs. wishing they were in the electric chair instead.

I vowed that if I ever got a boyfriend, I was NOT going to make him go shopping with me. I didn't want to ever make a guy get that pained expression on his face like I'd seen so many times at work. I was also doing my own shopping for clothes at that time & was fashionable even then. Case in point: I won "Best Dressed" in my high school's pageant my senior year & still have the sash from it. People also complimented my clothes at random back then & still do today.

It seems I'm in the minority on this one along with the subject of watching chick flicks; that's something else I won't make a guy do. I mean, if you're dating someone, married to them or at least having sex with them (assuming you don't just sleep with guys you hate) why would you want to torture someone like that? I'd only do that if I hated someone & then I'd have to get that device from A Clockwork Orange so my victim couldn't close his eyes.

Now I do expect a guy is not going to make me watch movies I have no interest in. If he did, all bets would be off there. Equal rights, slick!

Shopping I'm not so picky about since that's not something I mind doing & if you ask, I'll give you my opinion. Not sure that guys I know scramble around for my opinions on clothes but if one actually does, I'll share. I do have some theories on certain fashions but probably mentioned them already or it's for another post.

As we know, shopping is a bitch for skinny people. I recently found out I weight less than 100 pounds seemingly out of nowhere. I didn't turn vegan or start eating 100% organic (can't afford it) but it does mean I'm going to have more haters. I wondered if I was just going to waste away & die that way or if I was a medical oddity but my husband pointed out something that maybe I should have considered: we've not been eating take out or restaurant food that much recently. Could explain this weight loss, right? I don't formally exercise per se other than stuff I do to live life like lugging a very heavy suitcase today for a photo shoot. When I got done, the inside of my elbow was hurting from me wheeling the suitcase down the street.

For some reason, my husband wants to turn me into a brawn person but hasn't it ever occurred to him or anyone else that maybe I don't want to be a female bodybuilder? Maybe I'm happy as I am & like my body as is. I even have shape in places that made my religious family insist I cover up & provoke hatred or dirty thoughts in a good chunk of the populace. I also ask "aren't beauty & brains enough?" That's apparently a combination nearing the rarity of naturally red hair, at least to hear some guys (including one of my exes) talk.

A person needs to have a few flaws & weaknesses; otherwise, you're dealing with a robot since no one is perfect. I don't care who you're talking about since there's at least one flaw or weakness in everyone. Being able to admit this means you have some character. Otherwise, I guess not admitting to your faults is your flaw: you have no character.

In closing, no one needs to be asking me to lift heavy objects or suggesting I apply for jobs where you have to be able to lift at least 50 pounds. I'm not an ant!

Asking me to lift 30 pounds is also too much. Two words to remember when asking this sort of thing of little tiny folk like me: Chivalry & Sadist. If you ask me to do that, I will call you a sadist & an idiot. If you're a guy, I will totally think you lack chivalry & are an asshole.

NY Comic Con, Day 2: More Shopping, Some Free Practical Advice & Calling Out a Famous Douchebag

For the second day, we got to enter on our own time and without having to stand in a long line. There was more of a crowd but we had things to look forward to: panels, more shopping & a special trip to Artists Alley for me. We'll get to those in a moment.

While at Comic Con on Thursday, I got a call about an extra gig for the next week (this past week). Being asked & because it was for a company and show I had not previously worked with as well as having free time, I chose to take the gig. When I came in for this second day, I realized I needed to know more about the gig. After all, I can't exactly do any old gig.

Fortunately, the guy I spoke with about the gig on Thursday called me again. I asked what the role was & said he could put in the file on me that I would not do rape victims or prostitutes b/c of my career path. I think it would be damn awkward for me to have to meet some celebrity whose first meeting of me is associated with me being in scanty attire or doing something gross. Not to mention legal ethics concerns with such roles.

That being settled, we started with some shopping. After all, we had The Venture Brothers & Robot Chicken panels to go to later on. To get good seating, you have to sit through things you don't want to see as well as stand in line. Unfortunately, professionals don't get priority over non-professionals. This was the start of the unwashed masses being here (some literally unwashed).

Here are some examples of what I'm talking about:

The same basic rules for walking in NYC apply at Comic Con: follow the locals, keep moving & don't be an ass.

While there were people in costume on Thursday, there were more on Friday. Friday started the picture taking for me.

For instance, these guys did Walter White & Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad:

Then I saw this one. She was creepy in her stillness. You weren't even sure if it was a real person or a statue:

I also decided to do a little more shopping. After buying those I Heart Guts plushes the day before, inspiration struck me on a little rant & I decided I had to get a plush uterus.

This will be part of a soon to be performed video rant. I've got a doozy, let me tell you. I told the lady who'd sold me the other plushes about the idea & she liked it as well. They will be getting credited for this one.

I also decided to buy another dress since the white one I got the day before fit me so well. I'd seen a black one with red design that I wanted so badly but the smallest size the vendor had it in was a small.

However, she had this blue one I'd seen and liked as well as the red one.

I didn't realize until I got home and hung them all up that I'd gotten dresses in red, white & blue like the American flag. My intent on getting the red one was that I didn't have anything in that color & I wasn't sure if it would flatter me or not with my hair. Traditionally, I've shied away from bright red, yellow & orange since I felt they didn't flatter me. When I tried the dress on for my husband, though, he said I looked good so I decided I'd keep it.

Also, since I couldn't get enough of the guy with the Clockwork Orlando shirts I came back and got this one:

After some shopping, we went to The Venture Brothers & Robot Chicken panels after sitting through one for Silent Hill 3. Before that time, they'd decided to throw an unscheduled panel for Kevin Smith's reality show on Secret Stash (Comic Book Men, I think it's called). So we had to wait in this long ass line while Kevin Smith droned on (as my husband said). More pics from that:

That was the view in front of us. We had big bunches of columns for a "line" and it was horribly disorganized. Despite feedback, apparently the folk in charge of NY Comic Con have not remedied this. My husband says this has become tradition.

In the meantime, some people farther back in line decided to toss a beach ball around. The crowd got into it & people started cheering. I said "You've got to create your own fun around here." Personally, I think being able to create your fun is a trait people overlook. After all, if you can entertain yourself and find positive things in a situation you tend to have a better psyche & an energy that attracts others.

We got in and finally got to get good seats for The Venture Brothers panel. My husband has never missed that one or Robot Chicken's and he's told me about them for ages. Part of my reason for going to Comic Con was to see what he was talking about & since he kept saying "You have to see them."

Here's a pic you can look at. That fat fuck was in the way of the stage but you can see part of it behind him if you look closely. I was trying not to be the asshole violating the "no photography" rule. There were quite a few of those, especially in the Robot Chicken panel.

My husband loved going to both. I, however, have a few things to say.

* First off, can't we get some intelligent fan questions? I could come up with great stuff but before I join a line, I wish to think things out & not resort to cheesy stuff like asking for hugs, sexually propositioning people or begging for jobs. I'm not your fan, I'm happily married & my record stands on its own. You can find me; I'm not about to beg anyone for anything. Not seeing my awesomeness is YOUR problem, not mine. I'm also not selling anything so you can take me or leave me.

I would have liked a forum to meet with these people in my industry in a professional, pros only setting where I could ask intelligent questions & have a real conversation vs. being subjected to silly fan stuff. I'll say this: some of these people have far more fan tolerance than I do. I'd call you out for stupid shit or disrespecting my spouse in his/her face.

I mentioned this about intelligent questions & my husband says "you can't ask those." So, when pray tell can I do so? My company's moving up in the world & I'm dealing with similar BS now; it's just going to get worse for me. Plus, entertainment lawyer: be nice to us. Business owner in your field: be nice since you're likely going to encounter me or a friend of mine sooner or later.

* Clare Grant, I understand you are Seth Green's wife. Let me just say I admire your patience & tolerance for the whorey female fans trying to proposition your husband. You're a much nicer & far more understanding person than a good 90% of us. I know my husband would never have the self-control you displayed at the Robot Chicken panel unless maybe he was heavily medicated (and this is a man who thinks maybe 95% of the men who strike up conversations with me want to sleep with me, either secretly or openly). He even comments to me after we left that he couldn't believe some of these fans just disrespecting you & your relationship like that. Seth Green is a lucky guy & I hope he's treating you right.

Working in this industry, especially if you're a household name, is hard & there's so much misconception of it by people who don't work in it. Even the entertainment law field is glamorized by lawyers who don't do it or know people in it.

Finding someone who gets it & doesn't get pissy at you for not having the traditional job or thinking like everyone else is a blessing; you don't throw that away or take it for granted unless you're plain stupid.

If I were doing stuff & someone tried propositioning me, I'm certain my husband would grab my boob or something. I know if someone tried that w/him, I'd have to employ that trick Simon Le Bon's wife used to deal with overzealous groupies. Putting your hand on your spouse's crotch is a pretty unmistakeable signal of "That's mine; back off, bitch!" Let's face it, you have to be primitive with some people since they have no respect for anyone or anything.

The fact that you didn't do it shows you are a much better person than I am.

* You can ALWAYS blame the lawyers for something that didn't come through for a fan like merchandizing issues. We're used to it. Little hint for you folks at Robot Chicken. If you don't believe me, ask your lawyers if they're used to being blamed for stuff. You don't have to name them individually: just say "the lawyers." God knows enough people blame us for stuff (am I right or am I right?). If my CEO wants to use a general "it's the lawyers' fault" in a fan event, that's okay. Part of being a lawyer is being "the bad guy."

* If you don't want to give jobs to random fans who ask, free advice to Seth Green: don't ask people about being in SAG, especially if you're in NYC. You could encounter someone who's SAG eligible, a SAG member or even someone like me who has their own company, their own contacts & could get membership easily. Plus, there was that merger with AFTRA recently & some people may have bought their way into AFTRA to now be members of SAG/AFTRA.

A better idea is not to ask it in the first place. I heard it as "an excuse not to have to audition these nobodies who might be psychotically obsessed with one of more of our team." Come up with a different excuse: say you're not hiring or you already have a pool of people you know & trust to work with. Even go with "Could you move to [where ever you do the show; is it LA or someplace else?]?" Most people can't or won't do that. Maybe even tell them the wage is really low or they'd have to intern first. Something that sounds more plausible, would be unsavory to most people & might not bite you in the butt later on.

Go with your gut on this one but as the person handling the HR stuff for an entertainment company (among my other tasks), that's my tip. Or just offer an e-mail address for later on & then make sure your gatekeeper doesn't respond. Maybe even a fake or spam one (think of it as a woman giving the phone number for the time lady or some Christian Tell a Story line to some guy she doesn't like but is being pressured to give her number to). There's plenty of clever dodges to things if you're smart about them.

Plus, anyone who's been in the business long enough knows that you can get SAG eligibility if you get one line in a SAG feature so if you really liked someone enough getting them SAG eligibility is nothing.

Hell, maybe you can blame the lawyers for that one as well. Just a thought.

If you're curious about the "Tell a Story" lines, ask (that goes for any reader of this blog). Me, I like a business owner who's got a sense of humor. Maybe I should remember this for myself in the future.

Before I went to the panels, I took that visit to Artists Alley. I had a particular guest in mind for that one. First, it's necessary to give you some back story.

During my college days, I was in a sorority (as I've mentioned before). Now typically, once you go through the pledge period you're in a sorority for life. However, you can kicked out of one for violating sorority by-laws or chapter by-laws/rules of conduct. One such member, in fact, did get kicked out of my chapter. I wasn't there for the event that caused it but I do know it involved alcohol, a fellow sister, massive intoxication & leaving a fellow sister in a delicate condition. Thankfully, the abandoned sister wasn't raped, sexually assaulted or harmed in some way. I'm sure that's what our brass was thinking when the decision was made to kick out this first sister.

I heard about it after I returned to start the next semester. I really didn't feel bad for the first sister since she was not nice to me. For one thing, she was the sort of person who thought you were nothing if you didn't dress like her, have her interests or agree in lockstep with everything she said & did.

In short, one of the types of people I hate since they shun everyone who is different from them & refuses to entertain points of view that are different.

She also used the phrase "redheaded stepchild" in my presence & had zero to say about it. Not even "no offense!" To a natural redhead, this is the equivalent of using the actual "n-word" in front of a black person or some other racial slur in front of someone from that race. The minority in those situations will generally get pissed. I was no exception & fair warning that if you debate me on this one, I will debate you on any slur that offends you as a member of any particular group.

She also got attitude with me when I'd not tolerate her BS or disrespect to me. I remember times when I spoke at events or gatherings & she'd try slamming me down with cutting remarks and tone like some clique bitch from my past.

Had I been asked about kicking her out, I probably would have been fine with it. Being shitty to your fellow sisters is certainly grounds for dismissal from a sorority. You don't have to like them but you do have to at least be civil & respectful to them.

She totally started problems with me, as it's against my nature to start problems with people who didn't bother me first. I even got her a birthday gift one year when I was working at Godiva.

In a random meeting one day, during the announcement period when members could share their news & what they'd done since the last meeting, she proclaims that her dad draws Spider-Man. His name? Mark Bagley, a name many have heard of.

When I've shared this story with people who read comics (including my own husband), they immediately get all impressed. I vowed that if I were at some event he was at, I was going to make a point to meet him. However, in my typical fashion, I wasn't going to lie about my experience with his offspring. She wasn't my friend & didn't even stay in my chapter.

In fact, after she got kicked out she refused to speak to anyone from our group & didn't bother keeping friendships she'd had with any of us. I went to a Halloween party at Georgia Tech with some sorority sisters & one happened to see and talked to her. This girl only spoke to her and did not even say "hello" to me. Gee, is it any wonder I don't like this person?

So I made my effort to go there. My husband warned me there would be some long line so I made sure to give myself time in case that was happening so I would not miss those panels. It turns out there wasn't one. I also noted that he was charging money to autograph things. I had nothing to autograph, as that was not my point in showing up.

I went in, did my thing & mentioned my connection. However, instead of calling his daughter a bitch outright, I said "she wasn't particularly nice to me." I also mentioned what I did, handed out my business card & mentioned that if you want to work with my company, you have to go through me. That if you tick me off or I don't think you're professional, you won't be working with us (which is true, by the way).

One observation about this guy: he's a guy who lies then plays it off like nothing. I saw him do that with people in front of me. He also did this in telling me what his daughter was doing now. His account didn't match what I knew so I said "Really?" (not with shock or anything but more neutral). I learned a little more about what she was doing & said there was no need to pass my info along to her.

The next morning, on my anniversary, he apparently calls my house at 8 a.m. to leave an angry, nasty message. I was asleep so I didn't hear the phone ring. I deleted the message after hearing him say "Thanks for coming up to tell me how my daughter was a bitch at 17." I felt it was unnecessary to listen any further.

Gee, when I was 17 I had some maturity. I also had some class & didn't go starting shit with people who'd done nothing to me. I'd even mentioned being an old soul forever when he'd talked about how his daughter had started college at 17. This probably explains how I dated a 35 year old guy at the age of 21 & later dated a 30 year old guy at 22.

I had told people I was going to do that if I met him but he'd have never known. I never told my sorority sisters or anyone who knew that crowd. I made that choice when I lived up here & was talking casually to people involved in comics, none of whom have any acclaim. My husband sure doesn't know him.

Now, you'd think if a person of acclaim was going to call up some random person like me (s)he'd do it with a non-listed number. You'd also think Mark Bagley would have much bigger things on his plate than dealing with some former college sorority sister of his daughter whom he never met before & would probably never see again.

Nope! Apparently, like daughter like father. I also have a phone number that must be a cell phone since I know he & the lady he was with (possibly his wife & the former sister's mother) were in NYC and the call came from an Atlanta area code. I highly doubt he'd have skipped out on Saturday and Sunday of Comic Con to go back to Atlanta & then call me up at 8 a.m. Saturday is the biggest day for it. I didn't return to that area but logically speaking, that would make no sense.

Did I have a nefarious intent? Perhaps. I was also attempting to invoke a teachable moment (basically, don't be an asshole to people since you never know what they're going to end up doing in life & how long they hold grudges). I don't regret doing it since I got it out of the way & I can close the book on the situation.

I had no idea what his relationship with his daughter was like either. For all I knew, he was an absentee father & didn't have involvement in her life. A lot of famous people are that way with their kids. He also could very well have hated her guts or disapproved of her behavior for all I knew. My former friend's father sure wouldn't defend her recent actions & would probably be the first to condemn her for it.

If you went to my parents & told them about my being a bitch to you, they'd probably say "That's our avenger." If it happened today, they'd probably think you were dumb for expecting niceness if you'd been a jerk to me or that I was going to kiss your ass when I'm a lawyer.

Plus, I kind of got the last laugh since I now have his number. Literally.

Oh, and when a famous person or someone well known goes off on a random person, who ends up looking bad? The anonymous person or the famous one? It's the famous one. They look like they've got nothing better to do than get into little battles with folk. Plus, you've made the combatant famous if you talk about it.

So, what did Mark Bagley accomplish with that phone call? Bad publicity, proof of being a jerk (ensuring my husband totally dislikes him), giving a personal phone number to someone who could easily give it out to others (he's not or ever been my legal client, his daughter's not my sorority sister & there's nothing on me to keep that secret) & getting on my permanent blacklist.

I share this tale since too many people have found me from the past anyway and I already made preparations ages ago to avoid having to deal with her. Plus, the public should be aware of douchebags & it's not my task to enable them or let them flourish. I also have zero hesitation to call out jerks since my stories are true & always have documentation and/or witnesses.

Final lesson: watch how you treat lawyers. If they didn't represent you or have any ethical duties to keep your information private & you are nasty to them without cause, you should just dig your own grave. Especially if that lawyer is a natural redhead.

Sample Sales & Thrift Store Shopping: A How-To Guide

Okay, I freely admit that this might be a post that bores the hell out of you straight men & lesbians. However, since it's my blog & I do write it for my enjoyment and amusement first and foremost here we go. Plus there will definitely be some ranting along w/this little "how to."

Today, I was going to do this chocolate tour that took me ages to book but I ended up being late & missing it. Since the meeting place for the tour was at the same area as a sample sale store I knew of, I decided I'd stop in to browse there. My husband also ordered me to take some money out & "have fun."

*No worries, I'm getting a make-up day for the tour.*

One fact about me: I'm not very good at having spontaneous "fun" all by myself. I don't like spending my own money (and I especially hate wasting my own money), I'm not going to cheat on my husband (eliminating one sort of "fun" you might think of) & if I don't know where things are, I don't like to just wander aimlessly since I'll eventually get bored, exhausted, have sore feet or who knows what else (sunburn? bug bites? busted eardrums or a headache from noisy children?).

I also tend to prefer shopping online since I can find my size (a rarity in NYC unless I go to specific stores where I know they carry it), some sites have free shipping as well as returns & oftentimes, I find things online that I can't find in any store remotely near me. Seriously.

A perfect example is a long skirt slip for this long white skirt I have that's ridiculously sheer. Searched online, found a website that had the length I needed & I was good to go. No lines to fitting rooms, no spending a ton of money on transit travel to get to other areas of the city & no waiting in sweaty subway stations.

But I happened to have time on my hands so I thought "Okay, you know about these sample sales. Why not go check them out?"

For those who aren't familiar with them, here's a vocabulary lesson: a sample sale is a store or building you can go to in order to get discounted clothing. It's typically designer stuff that retails for a shit ton of money (we're talking hundreds & thousands of dollars). These are typically items from the last fashion season or so.

Here are more definitions in case you need them:

A thrift store is a place that sells clothing someone else didn't want anymore. If you're smart, you only go to the ones where they wash all donations before they hit the sales floor. Some places don't do this & especially in NYC, you do NOT want to buy something that could have bedbugs, roach eggs, etc. It will cost you dearly if you end up with some infestation b/c of clothing you bought.

Oh, and a vintage store sometimes claims to be a thrift store but it's really an overpriced place where you can buy things from the past. Unless you have a trillion dollars, are lazy or a particular store is the only place ever that has some unique, one of a kind item you'd just die if you didn't get, don't waste your time here. I typically don't.

Now that we've got that out of the way, here's some more general info on shopping outside the major chain stores or outlets for the chains.

1. If you're tiny, you probably won't find anything in your size. Why can't there be a sample sale just for women who wear my size?!?!? It feels like every sample sale I go to is overflowing with clothes that are way too big on me. Every time I see something I like at one, it's usually way too big on me. It's worse when I see something I like & there's no tag telling me what size the garment is. If I can't see a size, I'm not going to waste my time. Got that? You shouldn't either, whether it's for your or someone else.

2. Why was everything I saw at the first sale I went to (which happens regularly) so sheer? Seriously, they had $30-50 tops there & you could see my hand when I put them inside the garment to test the sheerness. In some cases, you could see the color of my hand!!

I know I can find prostitute clothing for much cheaper than at a sample sale. If you're a woman that gives a damn about not showing her bra or the color of it for the entire world, that hand trick is a good way to determine if something is too sheer. Think of it this way: if you can see your hand contours & certainly if you see your hand's color, that's what your bra will look like under that shirt.

I'm not even speaking of things that looked like club wear. This was stuff that if it had less sheerness, you could wear to work. But God forbid we women get options that don't make us look like whores.

Is this training for the new Romney led world order? Are some fashion designers taking payoffs we aren't aware of? Maybe clothing makers should hire some super frumpy women to make sure things aren't too damn sheer; then they could have something constructive to do instead of annoying the rest of us by calling for censorship of movies, television shows & shoving their mores down our throats.

3. If you are not fashionable, do not waste your time at a sample sale. You probably should also avoid thrift stores that carry lots of different types of merchandise. For those with no fashion sense, this is where that gay friend who knows how to dress comes in handy. Things usually aren't in order, there's lots of bright colors & it's easy to get overwhelmed. I realized today that I leaf through clothes on the racks like my husband leafs through comics in a cheap box. I can go through quickly & assess what would or wouldn't work for me. If you're not that good, you really shouldn't attempt it without help from someone with a fashion sense. These places do not have an abundance of sales people & chances are, there isn't going to be a sales person who can give you personal attention in your clothing selection like you'll find in a more expensive, fancy store.

Granted places like Target don't have those people either but it's much harder to mess up there. You don't need great fashion sense for any retailers that mostly sell the basics. There are tons of stuff at sample sales that are (at least in my view) so not my style & way too flashy or just doesn't look like something you should be wearing in public.

Remember, things that look good on fashion runways are not necessarily things you should wear to visit family or flirt with the UPS guy (sounds cliche, I know but I have heard of women actually doing this; I'm not one of them, though). Listen to that fashionable friend, family member, whoever you bring if you haven't got a sense of style; ideally, that person is honest & won't let you buy a fashion disaster (and I have seen a few, trust me).

4. Try things on before you buy them. If the place doesn't have a fitting room or even a curtain that fully covers a platform, you shouldn't waste your time. I realize Joyce Leslie (at least one location I know of in NYC) has a wide open dressing area for women & if you had a gym teacher you didn't like changing in front of for fear she was checking everyone out, you may be the expert on changing clothes without having to show private parts but I personally have a real problem with a place that can't be bothered to have a changing area. No self-respecting woman would buy ANYTHING she couldn't try on first, especially if she had to then take a train ride back to the store to return that item if it didn't fit her.

When I ask for a fitting room & you say you don't have one, you've officially lost my business unless I'm getting a vest, sweater, coat or something I can try on that doesn't require me to perform a strip show for you & everyone else in the store.

5. Finding things at sample sales & thrift stores is an art. It takes a lot of time, patience, knowing what looks good on you & what doesn't, knowing what you need (since I have so many clothes, I try to buy things that are different from what I already own or that will look great with at least one thing I have already), etc. You don't do it when you're in a hurry & I wouldn't recommend buying gifts for people in this manner unless the person you're buying for pointed out a specific item & said "I want that" or you know the person well enough to assess his/her taste in clothing. This is not something just anyone can do.

The second & third sample sales were better but some of this stuff did come up (things I wanted not being in my size, sheerness or something new in a piece I liked spoiled my interest). I had great luck at one sample sale but I don't think it's around anymore. Sadly, I saw yet another piece there I would have gotten but felt like it was bringing the total too high. I also once saw a white skirt at a sample sale that I still kick myself for not getting since I have yet to see another one in the same style.

The last piece of guidance I can give on thrift store & sample sale shopping is that if you see something that you absolutely MUST have, get it since you might not see it again. I seriously still kick myself for not buying one of these really cute 80s style prom dresses I saw at my local Urban Outfitters in Atlanta before I moved. I didn't want to spend $50 on one (I was trying to save money since I had to quit my job to go to law school) but then I never saw them at any other one & didn't find an 80s style prom dress until years later at a thrift store in NYC. If you think there's any chance you'll be kicking yourself if you don't get something, that means you need to get it.

Getting To Know the iPhone 4, Too Much Politics and More

It's no secret that I have a very cynical view of politics & politicians. Any smart political candidate would want to have me around since I know how one becomes cynical & how to get people to give a crap about some issue. I like to think of myself as the crash that will lull you out of your complacent sleep. I sort of view it as my goal in life to shake things up, not be a "yes" woman & tell unpleasant truths to people who never hear them but actually should + would benefit from hearing them.

I have a friend (I won't say who) who lately, has been posting political diatribes. Now you'd think this person would just create a rant blog like yours truly. If you come here, you know you're going to get rants. Since I agree with people's rights to have their own opinions & have plenty of people in my life who don't follow lockstep behind every cause I support or reject, I didn't de-friend this person like some other people apparently did because of it.

However, after seeing more of it today, I'm wondering whether some conservative leaning political pundit has hacked that social media account. It's been EVERY SINGLE status update. That gets old for me.

A) If you want to rant about politics, create a political rant blog. That way, people know what to expect & what they're getting. People friending you on a social media network aren't necessarily expecting that. While I take great care in who I friend on certain sites, I don't post about the same thing ad nauseaum. I try not to overwhelm folks with Occupy Wall Street stuff or anything else (though I pass on important links).

B) I do believe it takes all types in the world but I'd rather debate folk in person. That way, you can catch tone, subtleties & things you miss in the written word. It's too easy to think you're being patronized, insulted, etc. when the other person didn't actually mean it that way.

C) I wonder if this person has considered backlash to career. The person works in the entertainment business & has a similar path to mine (though I've been an attorney longer & this person has done more than me). However, this individual doesn't strike me as someone who is so hard core set on their views that they are willing to risk alienating people. This is not someone who did humorous rants or came up with hyperbolic suggestions on how to reform things (in other words, if you were the average person who saw these, I'm not sure you'd find humor there). I as a colleague would certainly be influenced as to who I'd refer or not refer. I'd certainly not refer anyone who loudly favors the ethic of the Occupy protests. If you think I'm being a hypocrite, I disagree.

You might disagree with me but at least I try to entertain & not speak with judgment. This person, not so much with these updates. You felt like you were dealing with that fundie cousin at Thanksgiving or something.

As for my Thanksgiving, it was actually decent. Went to the in-laws again but next year, we have to go to NC. For one thing, my husband's finally got a work schedule where he can get the time off (in over 5 years of marriage, we've never spent a holiday at my parents' home as a married couple--yeah, I'm still pissed about that). Second, my sister recently learned that she was pregnant. If things go well, we'll have another niece or nephew to corrupt & spoil (by corrupt, I mean teaching that kid to think for himself/herself, believe in doing anything (s)he puts his/her mind to and that if I could do what I'm doing, so can (s)he). If it doesn't, everyone will be bummed out & depressed. Either way, I'll have to go. We're hoping for a girl this time to balance out the male/female ratio. This will add up to 6 nieces & nephews for hubby & me. No way do I need to be having kids.

Yesterday, I managed to avoid Black Friday shopping hell & am thankful that I did. I know people who did in smaller places who said they couldn't see going out in it in a major city. Since I don't have small kids & still remember the ethic of What Would Jesus Buy? (you can also become a fan of the Rev. Billy on Facebook), I'm just not into shopping for things I don't really need. Even coming up with a Christmas list means me thinking of things I will use, stores that sell things I will actually buy & of course, considering asking for things we think are too expensive for us to buy. However, people in my family plan this way in advance. We've even finished all retail shopping at this point so we don't have to go out in that shopping hell. I'd be interested to see how much the Internet has displaced brick & mortar shopping over the years, especially during the holidays.

Wouldn't you know the dumb asses at the MTA decided to shut down my local subway line this weekend? Last year, they shut it down during the weekend of Comic Con. Do these idiots think no one in my area goes shopping? Are they trying to harm the city's tourism & commercial dollars? My area's never going to be some great alternative to Manhattan until they stop with that BS. The only good thing is I live in walking distance of another subway line that is running so I'm not at the mercy of a shuttle bus.

Yesterday, I finally discovered how to create & put custom ringtones on my iPhone. I'd been able to get the ringtones on there as music but not get them added as actual ringtones in the ringtones section of the phone. Figuring this out has been significant for me, along with the discovery that you can use apps to create ringtones from your own songs. I hate being at the mercy of big business or having to get something everyone else likes but not songs that are more obscure & that I'd rather have. I generally also like my ringtones instrumental & made some great ones, including some from the opening song in Office Space. No store will cater to my tastes & preferences so it's best that people like me get to create their own stuff.

Today, I've continued working on the ringtone project. One thing I really hate about iTunes is that it seems to be all or nothing with files. For instance, I created test ringtones. Why can't I just delete them with a right click or a button, though?! I don't like how they came out so I don't want them. iTunes seems to make it more complicated than it should be to get music on your iPod or iPhone or get rid of songs. That's something I really don't like about it. Once you get the hang of it, though, you're good. I feel like I'm going to have to keep a written tutorial for myself, though since it's not one of those programs where the obvious solution works.

Oh, and I continue doing video blogs periodically on Mobli. If you want to find them, I'm under "angryredheadlaw". Don't think I got that hosting job but when I saw an ad later stating that it would be unpaid, I think it's for the best. The saga that is my life continues.