The Demise of Thanksgiving: Die, Black Friday! -- In My Case, The Term Is Just Morbid

My alterna-Thanksgiving plans have actually been going pretty good. Went to a movie earlier today at Cinema Village. They were playing I Am Divine, a documentary on Divine (go look her up if you don't know who she is; if you're an attorney who doesn't work in entertainment & you actually know who Divine is, I will not only be shocked but I will give you points).

Someone I know was actually interviewed for the documentary, which I did not expect. It's not someone who's a friend but it's also not someone who's gotten on my black list or who I wish bad on. Guess I should get used to that; seems to be one more sign I'm making it regardless of what any money driven person has to say about it.

As we were going to this theater, which took us past Union Square, I saw mindless zombie assholes trying to shop. On our way, I saw some people trying to get in one of the bigger complexes right there & tugging on the locked door. I yell "It wouldn't kill you not to shop on Thanksgiving!" as I walk by. I felt these jerks deserved it & if we don't want retailers to be open then, we should be chewing out the assholes who equate Wal-Mart with the hospital or the police station.

That documentary was awesome, by the way & totally worth seeing. My husband & I were the only 2 people in the theater. Had it been something we didn't enjoy & my husband made a move, I'd have totally gone for it. After all, I did end up making out through an entire movie & then some on my first date with Vampire Boy. It was back in the days when a weekday afternoon ticket to the movies was affordable. I couldn't tell you what happened in the movie & it wasn't something I particularly wanted to see but had gotten invited to + thought the guy was cute so I went. Not to mention being a 20 year old on vacation from college & trying to kill time while waiting for Godiva to call her in for work. I remember the day itself very well since I'd also applied for a bank teller job earlier in the day & had to drive early in the morning.

You also have to remember I hated being in NC & Vampire Boy did as well so that instantly sparked good feeling between us. I've wanted to do that again with my husband so I could have new memories of something I liked doing but it hasn't happened due to movie ticket prices being too much & no good cheap movie theaters nearby. Guess those who want to make out in theaters just have to recreate that experience at home or in their cars, where we ended up after the movie. I feel like it marks the end of an ear & that kind of sucks.

Another end of an era apparently started this year with retailers opening on Thanksgiving. When we left the theater, I saw some jerks leaving and more entering Forever 21, which was open. I yelled loudly "You're part of the problem!" as we went to the subway. I wondered why my husband wasn't amused or commenting himself since I know he despises that crap himself. He claimed it wouldn't do any good. I say you have to confront assholes causing the problems if you want to affect change & point out they are indeed at fault.

I also feel entitled to do it considering I lost my father in June & just learned on Tuesday that my cousin died. He was the same age as my sister & was one of the only cousins we saw that often as kids. Plus, he & his brother were the only cousins we had within our age range. We weren't close as adults but that definitely hits close to home since if my sister died, that would be devastating. This cousin also had drug issues but he didn't try killing himself a bunch of times or tell people he wanted to die. He was medicating from injuries he got in a car accident ages ago. To my knowledge, he wasn't a depressed person; I just couldn't be around him because I like having my law license and the nature of what I do limits who can feasibly be in my life. Plus, dealing with my father means I don't deal with anyone else's issues & just because others are in denial doesn't mean I have to stick around for it.

In case you can't tell, I totally don't do Black Friday & hate it. I'm a cheapskate bargain hunter myself but I'm also a fan of sleeping in my warm bed, getting up later & not being pestered by the general populace. I also avoid putting myself into conflict situations where I know bad things are going to happen; dragging me into them is plain stupid so I opt to avoid them & let the conflict come to me before I act. Plus, there's the Internet.

Tell me, big box retailers. Why the hell do you need employees to come in against their will for no overtime pay when you have websites for customers to shop from? Can't you do deals on there & divert your traffic elsewhere instead of shitting on people's holidays b/c they are "peasants" or more accurately "garbage" to you? How many of you executives or higher ups worked this week? How many are working on Thanksgiving or Christmas Day, for that matter? If you personally aren't willing to work on a holiday, you have no business telling anyone else to do so.

Wal-Mart does NOT = a hospital. Restaurants are one thing. Bars are one thing. Movie theaters are one thing. We went to the movies but it's not like employees have to be in your face the entire time. They merely take your tickets or sell food & you are on your own quietly watching the movie. The transaction is very different. I think bars & restaurants are different b/c some people hate their families or have no place to go & shouldn't be deprived of their alcohol if it keeps them from going on a mass killing spree. Not to mention the families like my aunt's or mine who just lost major relatives & don't feel in the holiday spirit. I keep thinking about last Thanksgiving since that's the last time I got to see my father alive.

It actually was a good Thanksgiving even though I'm never going to be a fan of NC. We didn't get into fights & conversation went well. I found out my paternal grandmother's full name so I could research if the story about her being Miss Atlanta, GA back in the day is true or another tall tale from my father's side of the family (they're known for those, though if my looks are any indication [I'm apparently the spitting image of my aunt in her youth] it very well could be true). At least as I do things in this business, I'll have headshots and IMDB to provide a record of me taking advantage of that beauty and getting to use it professionally while no one else has gotten the opportunity.

My sister says my father wanted my cousin up there & she's probably right. He had a close relationship with the guy & considering he & my sister were the same age, I'm sure my father thought of him as the son he never had. My cousin & my father did have things in common.

Yesterday, a thought also occurred to me on all these deaths: no one in my life or related to me with a substance abuse problem is alive anymore. I also feel like I should become some grief expert or the go-to person if there's a death in your family. I already feel like the go-to person for crisis in other areas. I need a nickname but I don't think "The Misery Chick" fits; I'm not miserable or obsessed with death, not even close. A black cloud? I hope not since I don't feel like my personal life should affect my career; it's been a 180 from my personal life & one of the things keeping me going in all this. So I'm not sure.

I also know that I don't want fake sympathy or people to feel bad because they feel it's their "duty" or they "should." Spare me the bullshit & don't offer condolences unless you actually mean it. I'm not a person of ceremony & am not swallowing BS out of "duty" or "obligation." Just isn't in my character, I suppose.

I also am not a piece of glass or a piece of steel: I'm not going to fall apart but that doesn't mean I don't have feelings.

Tomorrow, I'm staying at home & relaxing away from the shopping hell. If you're smart, you'll do the same.

Getting To Know the iPhone 4, Too Much Politics and More

It's no secret that I have a very cynical view of politics & politicians. Any smart political candidate would want to have me around since I know how one becomes cynical & how to get people to give a crap about some issue. I like to think of myself as the crash that will lull you out of your complacent sleep. I sort of view it as my goal in life to shake things up, not be a "yes" woman & tell unpleasant truths to people who never hear them but actually should + would benefit from hearing them.

I have a friend (I won't say who) who lately, has been posting political diatribes. Now you'd think this person would just create a rant blog like yours truly. If you come here, you know you're going to get rants. Since I agree with people's rights to have their own opinions & have plenty of people in my life who don't follow lockstep behind every cause I support or reject, I didn't de-friend this person like some other people apparently did because of it.

However, after seeing more of it today, I'm wondering whether some conservative leaning political pundit has hacked that social media account. It's been EVERY SINGLE status update. That gets old for me.

A) If you want to rant about politics, create a political rant blog. That way, people know what to expect & what they're getting. People friending you on a social media network aren't necessarily expecting that. While I take great care in who I friend on certain sites, I don't post about the same thing ad nauseaum. I try not to overwhelm folks with Occupy Wall Street stuff or anything else (though I pass on important links).

B) I do believe it takes all types in the world but I'd rather debate folk in person. That way, you can catch tone, subtleties & things you miss in the written word. It's too easy to think you're being patronized, insulted, etc. when the other person didn't actually mean it that way.

C) I wonder if this person has considered backlash to career. The person works in the entertainment business & has a similar path to mine (though I've been an attorney longer & this person has done more than me). However, this individual doesn't strike me as someone who is so hard core set on their views that they are willing to risk alienating people. This is not someone who did humorous rants or came up with hyperbolic suggestions on how to reform things (in other words, if you were the average person who saw these, I'm not sure you'd find humor there). I as a colleague would certainly be influenced as to who I'd refer or not refer. I'd certainly not refer anyone who loudly favors the ethic of the Occupy protests. If you think I'm being a hypocrite, I disagree.

You might disagree with me but at least I try to entertain & not speak with judgment. This person, not so much with these updates. You felt like you were dealing with that fundie cousin at Thanksgiving or something.

As for my Thanksgiving, it was actually decent. Went to the in-laws again but next year, we have to go to NC. For one thing, my husband's finally got a work schedule where he can get the time off (in over 5 years of marriage, we've never spent a holiday at my parents' home as a married couple--yeah, I'm still pissed about that). Second, my sister recently learned that she was pregnant. If things go well, we'll have another niece or nephew to corrupt & spoil (by corrupt, I mean teaching that kid to think for himself/herself, believe in doing anything (s)he puts his/her mind to and that if I could do what I'm doing, so can (s)he). If it doesn't, everyone will be bummed out & depressed. Either way, I'll have to go. We're hoping for a girl this time to balance out the male/female ratio. This will add up to 6 nieces & nephews for hubby & me. No way do I need to be having kids.

Yesterday, I managed to avoid Black Friday shopping hell & am thankful that I did. I know people who did in smaller places who said they couldn't see going out in it in a major city. Since I don't have small kids & still remember the ethic of What Would Jesus Buy? (you can also become a fan of the Rev. Billy on Facebook), I'm just not into shopping for things I don't really need. Even coming up with a Christmas list means me thinking of things I will use, stores that sell things I will actually buy & of course, considering asking for things we think are too expensive for us to buy. However, people in my family plan this way in advance. We've even finished all retail shopping at this point so we don't have to go out in that shopping hell. I'd be interested to see how much the Internet has displaced brick & mortar shopping over the years, especially during the holidays.

Wouldn't you know the dumb asses at the MTA decided to shut down my local subway line this weekend? Last year, they shut it down during the weekend of Comic Con. Do these idiots think no one in my area goes shopping? Are they trying to harm the city's tourism & commercial dollars? My area's never going to be some great alternative to Manhattan until they stop with that BS. The only good thing is I live in walking distance of another subway line that is running so I'm not at the mercy of a shuttle bus.

Yesterday, I finally discovered how to create & put custom ringtones on my iPhone. I'd been able to get the ringtones on there as music but not get them added as actual ringtones in the ringtones section of the phone. Figuring this out has been significant for me, along with the discovery that you can use apps to create ringtones from your own songs. I hate being at the mercy of big business or having to get something everyone else likes but not songs that are more obscure & that I'd rather have. I generally also like my ringtones instrumental & made some great ones, including some from the opening song in Office Space. No store will cater to my tastes & preferences so it's best that people like me get to create their own stuff.

Today, I've continued working on the ringtone project. One thing I really hate about iTunes is that it seems to be all or nothing with files. For instance, I created test ringtones. Why can't I just delete them with a right click or a button, though?! I don't like how they came out so I don't want them. iTunes seems to make it more complicated than it should be to get music on your iPod or iPhone or get rid of songs. That's something I really don't like about it. Once you get the hang of it, though, you're good. I feel like I'm going to have to keep a written tutorial for myself, though since it's not one of those programs where the obvious solution works.

Oh, and I continue doing video blogs periodically on Mobli. If you want to find them, I'm under "angryredheadlaw". Don't think I got that hosting job but when I saw an ad later stating that it would be unpaid, I think it's for the best. The saga that is my life continues.