Monday, November 18, 2013

Dragging Men Shopping & Not Wanting to Be a Brawn Person

This is my first attempt to get some blog posts out of me before I explode. The past 4 days were super crazy busy so didn't have any time until now to start with this.

In the midst of the craziness (or maybe before it started), I saw this post from 1,000 Ways to Die (the show may have ended but they still have a presence on Facebook) about men being dragged shopping by women. That is something that puzzles me since I have never made a man go shopping with me. I actually prefer to shop alone since I do have a good sense of style & know what works for me or not. I usually don't need other opinions & to quote Margaret Cho "Men do not want to go shopping. If they do, they're gay."

Now if I had some gay male friends who'd go shopping with me & really wanted to go, I'd certainly take any of them who asked. I don't, though. Most of the men in my life are straight. I wouldn't make a guy friend go shopping with me since I don't keep friends I hate.

The biggest reason I don't get that whole thing goes back to my teenage years. When I was 15 years old, I got a job at JcPenney. I was hired to work in the Lingerie/Sleepwear section, though it was part of 3 girly departments (the other 2 were Handbags/Accessories & Hosiery). Hosiery was the department where you managed a till & could easily get bored. It was a very easy section to work in & you didn't have to do much. The upside was you had a view of the main drag of the store so you could people watch often. I usually ended up doing that, especially when cute guys walked by. Some of them probably checked me out but at that time, my parents would never have let me date anyone I met at work since that guy likely would have been older.

One of the big things that happened in Lingerie/Sleepwear was you'd see men & boys with pained expressions on their faces in the section because women dragged them there. They would usually sit in the chairs we had out. The chairs were conveniently located near our registers. Sometimes they started conversations with us but I always felt compelled to talk to them since as a sales associate, it was my job to make customers feel good about being in the store vs. wishing they were in the electric chair instead.

I vowed that if I ever got a boyfriend, I was NOT going to make him go shopping with me. I didn't want to ever make a guy get that pained expression on his face like I'd seen so many times at work. I was also doing my own shopping for clothes at that time & was fashionable even then. Case in point: I won "Best Dressed" in my high school's pageant my senior year & still have the sash from it. People also complimented my clothes at random back then & still do today.

It seems I'm in the minority on this one along with the subject of watching chick flicks; that's something else I won't make a guy do. I mean, if you're dating someone, married to them or at least having sex with them (assuming you don't just sleep with guys you hate) why would you want to torture someone like that? I'd only do that if I hated someone & then I'd have to get that device from A Clockwork Orange so my victim couldn't close his eyes.

Now I do expect a guy is not going to make me watch movies I have no interest in. If he did, all bets would be off there. Equal rights, slick!

Shopping I'm not so picky about since that's not something I mind doing & if you ask, I'll give you my opinion. Not sure that guys I know scramble around for my opinions on clothes but if one actually does, I'll share. I do have some theories on certain fashions but probably mentioned them already or it's for another post.

As we know, shopping is a bitch for skinny people. I recently found out I weight less than 100 pounds seemingly out of nowhere. I didn't turn vegan or start eating 100% organic (can't afford it) but it does mean I'm going to have more haters. I wondered if I was just going to waste away & die that way or if I was a medical oddity but my husband pointed out something that maybe I should have considered: we've not been eating take out or restaurant food that much recently. Could explain this weight loss, right? I don't formally exercise per se other than stuff I do to live life like lugging a very heavy suitcase today for a photo shoot. When I got done, the inside of my elbow was hurting from me wheeling the suitcase down the street.

For some reason, my husband wants to turn me into a brawn person but hasn't it ever occurred to him or anyone else that maybe I don't want to be a female bodybuilder? Maybe I'm happy as I am & like my body as is. I even have shape in places that made my religious family insist I cover up & provoke hatred or dirty thoughts in a good chunk of the populace. I also ask "aren't beauty & brains enough?" That's apparently a combination nearing the rarity of naturally red hair, at least to hear some guys (including one of my exes) talk.

A person needs to have a few flaws & weaknesses; otherwise, you're dealing with a robot since no one is perfect. I don't care who you're talking about since there's at least one flaw or weakness in everyone. Being able to admit this means you have some character. Otherwise, I guess not admitting to your faults is your flaw: you have no character.

In closing, no one needs to be asking me to lift heavy objects or suggesting I apply for jobs where you have to be able to lift at least 50 pounds. I'm not an ant!

Asking me to lift 30 pounds is also too much. Two words to remember when asking this sort of thing of little tiny folk like me: Chivalry & Sadist. If you ask me to do that, I will call you a sadist & an idiot. If you're a guy, I will totally think you lack chivalry & are an asshole.

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