say it to my fucking face, all right? If there's anything I can't stand, it's people who are nice to your face & cut you down behind your back. That kind of crap made me so hyper-paranoid in high school, I literally couldn't trust most of my classmates. In fact, I probably have trust issues to this day b/c of all that.
I had to deal w/all of it so much b/c I was a smart kid. Meaning I had to take classes w/other smart kids. A lot of them didn't like me because of being poor & probably being a redhead. Who knows the real reasons? Fact remains, I had to deal with too much of this crap. Going to the earlier mentioned private school as a child also didn't help since this kind of thing was rampant there too.
Eventually I made friends who told me it didn't matter & not to worry about these gossipy bitches. That was in 8th grade. Those friendships got me through all that & are why I became the assertive person I am today.
My husband hates this as well. I don't know his personal experiences on it but recently, he's been having problems w/a co-worker who's now earned himself the title of "ex-friend." Here goes:
There was a staff meeting on the day our car was having problems & he wasn't feeling well. Apparently, some of his co-workers took that opportunity to hold a "trash The Angry Redheaded Lawyer's Husband" session. The right people took up for him & basically aren't the living embodiment of why people hate unions.
So Dead Man Walking doesn't say a word to my beloved about all this. Not even to tell him who said what or how he felt, unlike a number of others at this job. I found this suspicious & have not wanted to do a damn thing for this guy or his family since I learned about it. Hubby tries to do something nice back when I think my day job is legit & I tell him right there to forget it. Hey, if you're the person w/the connections then YOU get to decide who will or will not benefit from them.
Yesterday, Dead Man Walking decides to stand on doing a half-assed job for one of their customers. My husband says something to him when the customer still needs help & he chooses to sit on his ass & do nothing. He then has the nerve to say "You're not my supervisor." Despite the fact my husband has somewhat mentored this person & is supposed to be his "friend," he has the gall to do it.
My dearest wanted to punch him in the face right there. See why I'm calling this guy "Dead Man Walking?" He'd better hope he doesn't see me or speak to me b/c I have words for him & they won't be nice ones. Maybe hubby can get fired for telling him off or have problems in the workplace from it but I can't & I have every right to decide who will benefit from my connections.
Since my husband tends to leave unfinished business & I like to make it clear as crystal that you'd better stay the hell away from me once you've crossed me, I'm tempted to call this man up & tell him I know what he did + he'd better start talking right now about any issue w/my spouse. Oh, and say point blank not to expect to go ANYPLACE I have access to, could invite him to or benefit in any way, shape or form from my career, my connections or anything associated w/me in any form. Don't ask me for a place to stay if you have marriage problems. Don't ask me to have you meet famous people, pass along your movie ideas, get you a job or even help your child get started in the business.
Don't even ask for a cup of sugar from me once you've crossed me. I wouldn't give you water in the desert if you were dying of thirst if you've pissed me off & shown zero remorse for it. I don't want to hear your sob stories & would leave you to die in the street w/out a second though.
My compassion died out years ago when I was being tormented by assholes. Go blame them if you want me to be a doormat. Oh, and I feel like that about EVERYONE; it doesn't matter to me what race, sexual orientation, creed, religion, income level or whatever you are. If you are on my bad side, you're going to know it. An offense against my husband, my friends, my business associates or anyone else I care about is the same as doing it to me directly. I feel you only have to put up w/BS in 3 situations.
1. A job or graduate/law/medical school (anyplace where you might deal w/these
2. A big mob like New Year's Eve at Times Square
3. Dealing w/cops or law enforcement like judges, investigators, etc. This changes
if they try to rape you or do something extreme.
Otherwise, I don't deal with it. Not even based on being family since there's lots of relatives we don't deal w/because of their behavior.
I just see my husband's unfinished business popping up the minute anything major happens to me & by extension, him. I don't want to deal with it so that's why I'm ready to not even polite in those situations; I might even get an assistant to handle it. You can't be nice & sweet to be effective at what I do. Many people think I'm nice & that's b/c they haven't done anything to deserve my wrath. They also know that I can either be your biggest supporter or your worst nightmare. Dead Man Walking just stepped into camp #2.