Tuesday, December 27, 2011

What the Holy Fuck?!?! Craig's List Ads, Part 2

It's time. Oh, yes it's time for another installment of this. Seriously, some of the more recent ads I've seen deserve that statement but some classically stupid ones will be mixed in as well.

First off, look at this one:

Looking for a Summer Internship in New York City? (TriBeCa)

Date: 2010-05-26, 4:44PM EDT
Reply to: job-dtdnw-1761062650@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


PLEASE READ EVERY PART OF THIS POSTING, APPLICANTS THAT DO NOT READ AND FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED

FAST PACED INNOVATIVE YOUNG BEAUTY INDUSTRY COMPANY SEEKING A SUMMER INTERN

THIS IS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO WORK WITH AND MEET GREAT PEOPLE.

THE POSITION STARTS JUNE 7TH AND ENDS BEGINNING OF AUGUST (DEPENDING ON WHEN SCHOOL SEMESTER STARTS)

A PERMANENT PAID POSITION COULD BE OFFERED WITH THE COMPANY FOR THE INTERN THAT DOES GREAT WORK! YOU MUST PROVE YOURSELF

DUTIES WILL INCLUDE BUT LIMITED TO:

- Answering phones
- Filing documents
- Office errands
- Helping with photo shoots
- Managing the calendar
- Social Media management (blogs/facebook/twitter)
- Mail/shipments (receiving and sending out)
- General assisting with any tasks given

REQUIRMENTS FOR THE INTERN POSITION:

- Professional manner and dress code
- Great knowledge in beauty/fashion/entertainment and current trends
- Great skills with MS Word, Powerpoint and Word
- Someone that is internet savvy
- Creative writing skills for blog content/ideas
- Detail oriented
- Extremely good with time management
- Ability to work with high profile people in a professional manner
- Great people skills
- Attend fashion/social events with company CEO and assist in whatever way required
- Candidate must be open to travel if asked

PLEASE RESPOND WITH RESUME INSIDE THE BODY OF YOUR EMAIL - DO NOT SEND YOUR RESUME IN ATTACHMENT FORM PLEASE.

INTERVIEWS BEGIN TUESDAY JUNE 1 IN OUR NEW YORK CITY OFFICE, IF YOU ARE LATE TO YOUR INTERVIEW YOU WILL NOT BE HIRED.

LOCATION, COMPANY INFORMATION WILL ONLY BE GIVEN TO CANDIDATES THAT WILL ACTUALLY INTERVIEW.

THE HOURS OF WORK WOULD BE MON- FRI FOR 30 - 40 HOURS A WEEK. TIMES ARE FLEXIBLE AND DEPENDENT ON TASKS GIVEN.

PLEASE DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS THAT CAN BE ANSWERED ABOVE.

ONLY SERIOUS CANDIDATES NEED APPLY
Compensation: Unpaid Internship
This is a part-time job.
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1761062650


Somebody's awfully damn demanding for an unpaid internship, don't you think? Plus, it's illegal to offer internships with full time hours. How would one make a living doing one, huh? Even if it weren't illegal (and you can go to the state or federal EEOC websites & read up on internship rules if you don't believe me), it's also classist. These people deserve what they get since they certainly aren't bright enough to get legal counsel before posting this crap.

Here's another one thinking they're such a saint to offer the "option" of part time, unpaid work.


Fashion Internship -Editorial, PR, Events, marketing (New York)

Date: 2011-11-16, 10:04AM EST
Reply to: gigs-h7ray-2705246885@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


A boutique full service Media, marketing/PR/Event Production fashion company is currently looking to fill the following internship positions: Editorial assistant, Marketing assistant, and Event planning/PR intern to assist with fashion magazine, Fashion week and other major Event Productions up coming. Ideal candidate will be available Mon-Fri; however we will consider part-time availability as well. You will be fully involved in all aspects of our company., but your primary focus will be on the position you are hired for.

This is a challenging and busy internship, with many rewards. You will be part of a fun and creative environment and will learn a lot about fashion, marketing, editorial procedures, and event planning while networking with a lot of professional contacts in the industry. This
internship is Unpaid but a valuable opportunity to work your way to a permanent position.

Skills and Qualities Required:
Energetic and ready for a challenge
Excellent verbal communication (primarily telephone) and written skills
Professional and friendly manner
Determined and motivated
Strong computer skills and internet research ability
Ability to multi-task
Detail oriented
Strong organizational skills
A self-starter takes initiative
Ambitious and intelligent
MUST be proficient in Microsoft Office Suite and/'or MAC
Location: New York
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2705246885


Maybe I should be glad they at least aren't trying to weasel free work from skilled people but sounds an awful lot like an attempt to get unpaid FULL time labor.

And if you think only unnamed companies do this, you would be wrong. Unprofessional? Absolutely in my perspective. Consider this ad:

Casting Internship (Flatiron)

Date: 2011-12-20, 1:05PM EST
Reply to: gigs-k7bvn-2762491911@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


DONNA GROSSMAN CASTING is offering a casting internship, at one of the leading commercial and print offices in New York City.

We are looking for someone who is passionate about the entertainment industry, hard-working and fun!
Duties will include answering phones, setting up auditions, sorting submissions, general office maintenance and working directly with Donna Grossman.

There is a very high level of responsibility, and we treat this internship as a serious, full-time job. Our interns are an integral part of the day to day operations in the office. Hours are 9:00am to 6:00pm. Internship is unpaid, but lunch will be provided. A full-time three month commitment would be ideal, but we are willing to work around the right candidate's schedule.


it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2762491911


As someone working in this business & having friends who like having a good reputation, this required a response. It wasn't as brutal as some of them can be but it is entirely factual:

Just so you know, it's illegal under state & federal labor laws to have a full time internship. That would be called "slavery" & an attempt to cut out paid professionals by hiring unpaid interns. The state of NY has been cracking down on illegal internships so you may want to rethink posting such an ad on a public website.

Plus, you are making someone PAY to work for you since I see no mention of covering transportation costs or the ability to work remotely. This is a recession & monthly Metrocards are over $100 (which is what you're demanding be paid for a "full time" assignment). Those costs add up and don't magically take of themselves. How do you expect people to pay their rent, utlities, etc.? Do you just want some spoiled trust fund baby who's never worked for anything?

I personally work in this business & did an internship myself with a well known talent agent; however, there are rules & considerations to be made if you expect someone to work for free & have ZERO interest in your buisness. If you were offering PAY or equity for FULL TIME work that was aligned with what I have recently earned in the open marketplace (not necessarily a lawyer rate unless I was asked to use my legal license), I would consider it. I actually have experience in this business, have been told I should consider commercial work b/c of my looks + prefer working with creative types. Plus, I own an entertainment business that you could have gotten potential work from.

However, because you'd rather exploit some newbie instead of paying a professional for his/her talent & skill, I am not interested. Rest assured that I have already formed some very strong impressions from seeing this ad & will make sure my contacts steer clear of you. Thanks so much for tarnishing the reputation of this business for those who ARE professionals and would NEVER demand someone to work 40 hours a week FOR FREE. You get what you pay for.


Ads like this breed hatred and resentment for employers, especially smaller businesses though corporations do a lot of sneaky, shady things as well.

This has made me certain not to hire Donna Grossman Casting since if they can't be bothered to pay people for performing full time work (violating labor laws), imagine how many other laws & rules they violate on a regular basis. Do they place SAG talent & look the other way while clients break SAG rules? How hard are they even working for those clients?

Remember employers, job ads tell the world about you as well & ads that tell me you can't even bother having a lawyer read over them to make sure they're not violating labor laws tell me you're the same people who'd never sign contracts & expect me to "trust you" not to screw me over. Get real! Me reading such an ad is probably going to even trump my best friend's endorsement of your business (and I don't even have a best friend).

Then, let's talk about the blatant sexism in some of these ads. Consider these gems:

HOT, MASCULINE, GOOD LOOKING guy wanted as an Assistant (NYC)

Date: 2011-11-18, 9:39AM EST
Reply to: gigs-wg6ng-2708754013@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


I am looking for a good looking, hard worker, easy going, open minded, very detail oriented, tall and masculine model looks younger guy to Assist me doing several tasks. MUST send pics and brief work history. This is an immediate opening. No drug addicts or weirdos
Location: NYC
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: 20

PostingID: 2708754013


Yes, it's still sexism even if it's a guy being exploited!!

Attractive female Personal Assistant Needed

Date: 2011-11-18, 10:37AM EST
Reply to: gigs-9qwxs-2708847400@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


I am looking for a young attractive female to help me with working out, some office work, light cleaning, meeting assistance, etc p/t.

I am a normal, non perverted young professional entrepreneur who would like the company of a sane, normal female who is also pleasant and pretty.

Not looking for sex!

Microsoft office experience would be helpful the rest I can work with you on.

Flexible schedule is desired including nights Saturdays and maybe some Sundays. Bonuses also possible.

$20/hour
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: see above

PostingID: 2708847400


He's "not looking for sex" like the next reality TV whore isn't looking for fame & fortune. Otherwise, this schmuck wouldn't be looking for someone with looks. That ad's also a labor law violation since those tasks have nothing to do with looks. The person's not even being asked to sell things & you can't even post a "models only" ad for sales jobs unless you want to get busted by the Department of Labor.

Oh, and eye candy in the workplace isn't a fundamental right!!

Here's more casting couch garbage. Can't we phase that crap off the globe?

Aspiring Female Model

Date: 2011-12-10, 5:46PM EST
Reply to: gigs-3ez5q-2746683974@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Advertising agent with major cable network willing to exchange casting in prime time television commercials for adult benefits. If interested then please reply with a few photos, phone number in an email labeled "Prime Time."

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: TBD

PostingID: 2746683974


I've already ranted endlessly on this one. I hope this guy's dick falls off from all the STDs.

This one amused me some. I even had to respond to it:

Lazy, out of work Television Writer needs Assistant (NYC/LI)

Date: 2011-12-05, 1:05AM EST
Reply to: gigs-xaauh-2736480643@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Lazy, out of work, television writer needs an assistant. Responsibilities include: organization of research documents, organization of computer files (Mac), drafting correspondence from oral notes I give you (not dictation). I'm looking for someone who's natural writing style can write with economy, is easy to read, breezy and easy. (This is so that the correspondence is in my "voice.") You cover letter to me should reflect this style of writing. It shouldn't begin with "To Whom It May Concern," then you're definitely not the person I'm looking for. Or if you tell me you'll be a great addition to my company, then you're also not right for this job. A resume is appreciated, but what will really tell me that I've found the right person is whether your cover letter has that easy-going style without trying so hard that it shows. The pay is $10 per hour; approximately 12-20 hours per week. Scheduling is flexible. I divide my time between my office in the city and my home office in Nassau County when it's my day to watch the kids. PLEASE KEEP YOUR COVER LETTER to 25 WORDS or LESS because I want to see that you can write with simplicity and economy. THANK YOU.
Location: NYC/LI
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $10/hr

PostingID: 2736480643


My response:

So, you're a "lazy, out of work television writer." Why would one want to assist you? I'm curious about that.

You couldn't afford to hire me since I'm a licensed attorney & made the rate you're offering when I was a college student. My most recent temp job also paid me significantly more than your rate.

I'm also a business owner & started as the CEO's Exec Asst at my company; if you've announced you're lazy & out of work, how would one know the checks you give will be any good? I will give you credit for at least being honest in not having your shit together (unlike so many other Craig's List ad posters); I only wish others used that same courtesy so those seeking day jobs could be spared the BS.


And this, because it deals with indie film & I actually did it at one time, REALLY pissed me off:

Indie Filmmakers' Assistant

Date: 2011-12-25, 9:18PM EST
Reply to: gigs-k2sfx-2768803825@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Looking for a good-looking model or actor to be an assistant at the office 1 or 2 days a week
Please submit headshot with your reply.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2768803825


Here's what I wrote:

Hey, asshole! Thanks for making ALL indie filmmakers look like pornographers. I can tell you don't have an in-house lawyer b/c none of them would EVER allow you to post such an obvious ad that announces employment discrimination & potential sexual harassment.

Haven't you ever heard of a prostitute??? Surely, Long Island has some strip clubs or personals areas where you could find one instead of exploiting some pretty young thing who actually WANTS to work in this industry. I can also tell you aren't legit if you're using the Talent Gigs section of Craig's List as your personal dating website & this guise of a "job". Professionals only want people qualified to do the job, not window dressing or airheads who think they should coast by on looks & develop ZERO aptitude for ANYTHING ELSE.

There ARE female filmmakers out there & women involved in indie film who didn't slut it up to get there (many of whom are personal friends). If you display this blatant sexism in your professional life, I guarantee one of them will kick you in the balls sooner or later when you inevitably offend them or their sensibilities.


Yes, it's true!! Women in indie film don't take shit from sexist scumbags & I could totally see one kicking a guy in the balls for offending her. If one did, she'd end up becoming decoration instead of a real team player. I'd probably do much worse to you if you offend my sensibilities but I'm harder to offend & you'll know when you've done it.

As one of my exes once said, prettier women are more likely to be carrying weapons & knowing how to take care of themselves b/c they've had to deal with more harassment. Sound logic, huh? These morons should probably consider that. I have seen what happens to a guy when a woman hits him in the balls & it's not pretty (no, I didn't do it; I saw someone else do it).

Now, some illustration of why unpaid extra work is a waste of time if you're not a friend of the director or a producer:

Horror Film Casting- (Long Island)

Date: 2011-11-19, 1:43PM EST
Reply to: gigs-jsaew-2710909368@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Serious people who want to act only! Known Stars will be on set and we do not want anyone bothering them with autographs.

Large production company seeking actors and actresses to play lead roles on Monday Nov 21st at 12 noon. This is an incredible role with names attached to the movie. The location is within walking distance front he Wantagh L.I.R.R. We are seeking actors and actresses from 21-40. These roles will be speaking lines.

Be sure to send a HEADSHOT or you will NOT be considered for the role.

Shoot is 2 blocks from the railroad station

Send resume for condiseration!
Kaila martin
Casting Director CSI
Location: Long Island
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2710909368


This was posted in the Bronx section of Craig's List, not Long Island. That meant The Angry Redheaded Lawyer had to respond for the sake of taking someone down a few pegs.

Wow, you're seriously deluded!!!

If you want "Serious people who want to act only" and expect these same people working for NOTHING & in fact LOSING MONEY traveling to LONG ISLAND to not bother your "known stars" for autographs, I suggest you start paying folk. That's what professionals do & it's as clear as crystal that you're a fake.

Plus, any production that can afford a casting director can afford to pay background. At the very least, that production wouldn't be posting an ad in a borough of NYC & expecting professionals to travel ON THEIR DIME to Long Island i.e. the suburbs.

You get what you pay for.


And, nobody cares about "exposure." Ask your friends & people who like you, not strangers reading Craig's List.

EXTRAS, EXTRAS (NYC, LES)

Date: 2011-12-05, 12:05PM EST
Reply to: gigs-3d4fw-2737017774@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

If you want to be a part of an amazing experience and be seen in an international music video, then we want you!
We need men and women, in club attire with hair and makeup already done to come to the set at 9am on Sunday, Dec. 11th and stay as long as you can.
In exchange, you will have global exposure with the release of this music video.
Please contact with picture so we can provide more details and and answer any questions you may have.
Location: NYC, LES
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2737017774


Lastly, in case you thought attorneys, who are supposed to know more about the law & what it means than anyone else never post illegal & downright insulting ads you'll rethink that when you feast your eyes on these next few. Take a look:

Paralegal Intern (Financial District)

Date: 2010-11-24, 4:27PM EST
Reply to: job-jgshj-2078237569@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


About EEC
Eltman Eltman & Cooper, is the leading judgment enforcement law firm in the country. EEC has pioneered the location of enforceable assets on dormant judgment portfolios allowing clients to maximize returns on assets once thought of as uncollectible.

National judgment enforcement and creditor rights law firm seeking a paralegal intern.
The position offered is an unpaid internship.
The assumption is that candidates will receive credit from their school for this internship. Even if the candidate is not seeking school credit, this is an opportunity to gain invaluable practical experience.
We will train, but candidates should have good writing and speaking skills and be willing to handle everything from administrative tasks to substantive legal work.
Candidates should be available to begin their internship immediately.

Responsibilities:
As the sole paralegal intern working directly with the firm’s in-house counsel, you will be exposed to a number of key legal documents, issues and initiatives that are aiding the growth of the firm’s business.
You will have the opportunity to work on a variety of matters within the firm, such as:

• Coordinating with other firms and clients for preparation, signing and filing of vital legal documents
• Reviewing, drafting and/or filing legal documents
• Assisting with all administrative duties for in-house counsel

• Qualifications:
• Familiarity with legal documents
• Basic understanding of legal terms
• Ability to work independently and in groups
• Strong organizational skills
• Ability to multi-task
• Superior attention to detail

EEC is an equal opportunity employer.
Interested candidates should send resume with cover letter.

Compensation: Unpaid internship
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2078237569


I've done paralegal work. No one needs an "internship" to do it. They may have paralegal schools & programs but I did those tasks without doing any of that. There's nothing to learn that one would have to "intern" to learn how to do; it's not brain surgery or even law practice. Can we say "attempt to exploit people for free labor???" Look, they even listed their name!

Consider it another business I'll never work with & will make sure to steer my colleagues far away from. They also have some interesting facts about them already if you do a Google search.

This one was posted recently & really made me mad:

Lawyer or Law Student Sought (Gramercy)

Date: 2011-12-26, 3:02PM EST
Reply to: gigs-qxq8z-2769573846@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

We're looking for someone to write our trademark application. We have a pro-Bono relationship with a top law firm in Manhattan. Your work will be reviewed by the law firm. Your compensation will be $10/hour and introduction to the law firm attorney who will review the application.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $10/hour plus networking.

PostingID: 2769573846


Here's what I wrote in response:

If you have a pro-bono relationship w/a "top law firm in Manhattan," then why are you exploiting some lawyer or law student? I made more than this an hour when I worked as a referral clerk in a mid-sized firm in Atlanta. The last time I made $10 an hour, I was a college student.

Unless the attorney reviewing the application is the managing partner of this firm & guaranteeing someone a job, this is nothing but exploitation (Did you know many attorneys are total assholes who would sell their own grandmothers for a nickel? They don't believe in the concept of networking or loyalty to others & I've read blogs/comments written by BigLaw folks). I say this as an entertainment law attorney myself (I just defy the attorney stereotypes though I also don't take BS). You're insulting professionals here.

Even document review attorneys earn $25 an hour or so at this point & all they're doing is clicking a screen!

You should probably figure out just what you're offering before posting ads. Oh, and lawyers charge about $100 an hour if not more. People like you make prostitution sound better & better.


This is all true about attorneys as a group, the rates charged & the like. If this is what law students have to look forward to, they probably should engage in prostitution. They could always try go-go dancing at this venue:

Earn 1000's Weekly / Bikini GO-GO Dancers Wanted For NYC Sports Bar (Midtown)

Date: 2011-03-16, 12:14AM EDT
Reply to: taxcutsnow09@aol.com [Errors when replying to ads?]


Earn Thousands Per Week as A GOGO Dancer, Bikini only in a NYC Sports Bar located in TIME SQUARE. Be Your own Boss and Set Your Own Hours
Contact us By email and Please send Pics. Exciting Oppurtunity to Work in a Upscale location

Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2268011329


I haven't seen more of these in the Legal jobs section lately but I always find it funny & innovative of that proprietor when I do. That's a smart person who keeps up with the news.

Or, you could work for people who can barely spell:

HIREING ATTORNEYS --GREAT OPPORTUNITIES (Midtown)

Date: 2011-12-15, 3:46PM EST
Reply to: job-uqae7-2754978446@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


To be a practicing attorney is every JD or LLM student's dream . . . whether you are a US citizen or a permanent resident. Unfortunately, during the current recession, graduation day has become unemployment day. Without professional guidance and in need of training, law graduates can become underemployed or jobless, even in debt. Without H1B sponsorship or any other legal status, international law school graduates face an even tougher employment market no matter how many state bar admissions you have.
Our firm will start you on the great path to your respectable career.
Please send your cover letter and resume to: P.O BOX 20281, New York, NY 10001-994
Or Email.
Only motivated applicants with a commitment to stay and work in the US long-term are welcome.

Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2754978446


I decided to pass on sending in anything for this because just as an employer will knock an applicant out for spelling errors in your resume & cover letter, I think applicants should be knocking out employers for errors in their ads. I certainly do it, anyway.

I don't want to work for someone who demands me to be literate when they can't even do it themselves. That's like a parent who makes their kid eat brussel sprouts when they themselves wouldn't even eat them. Screw them! If you're going to impose high standards on others, you'd better be imposing them on yourself first.

As for more client arrogance:

Need an Attorney Writer - REVISED (New York City)

Date: 2011-08-10, 10:08AM EDT
Reply to: gigs-jfjpq-2539432954@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


I need a licensed new york lawyer to register a corporation for me and prepare all the paperwork and serve as a registered agent of process. The lawyer must a PO BOX or physical address to receive processes if there are ever any. Newly licensed attorneys and senior lawyers welcome to apply. We are a small start up hence budget our current budget is limited. But there will be prospects of future business. $75 is intended for attorney fees only I will pay all the filling fees to the govt seperately
Location: New York City
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $75 for attorney fees

PostingID: 2539432954


Wow, you're going to pay a whopping $75 for all of this legal paperwork & demand the person to be your registered agent of process. How hard up are you as a start up to do this??? They need to be asking a friend.

Here's what I wrote in response:

Legal Zoom charges more than the $75 you propose to pay to an attorney for that kind of work. In fact, I know attorneys charge on average over $300 for this. $75 is a low hourly rate for even a BRAND NEW attorney (as in just got admitted to the bar yesterday). I've written business letters of 2-3 pages for $250.

Stop insulting attorneys with your pitiful $75 for hours & hours of work! It costs more than that to pay for ONE attorney CLE class (CLE classes are required in the state of NY for an attorney to keep a NY license) & on average, lawyers have to undertake hundreds of THOUSANDS of DOLLARS of NON-DISCHARGEABLE loan debt just to get licened.

You'd be wise to remember the saying "you get what you pay for."


It is NOT the attorney's problem that you're broke!!! We've got our own shit to pay for! Are YOU paying six figure student loan debts, many of which from private loan companies (who offer nothing but "fuck you, pay me" plans if you recall)? Unless or until you're doing that, don't talk to me about your poverty. No attorney wants to hear about that b/c we will top you. We want a fair (as in market) rate. Otherwise, you need to be asking an attorney friend/family member or making some new friends.

Hint: you will not make them by assuming the world owes you legal services & giving zero back.

This stuff is an insult & pisses me off. How likely do you think it is that I'm going to do anything to benefit you when you have insulted me? Hell will freeze over first. Stuff like that also discourages us from doing anyone a favor.

Finally, in this last installment of "What the Hell Was This Person Thinking?" is this ad. Someone apparently doesn't know the difference between a mentor & a teacher:

Mentor "Needed" Lip Balm (Financial District)

Date: 2011-12-26, 7:02PM EST
Reply to: gigs-kp2zq-2769922058@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Starting a Company seeking a mentor. What I am looking for.
Willing to Stay Primarily on My Agenda, Not Her/His Own
Open to Learning From ME, As Well As Teaching ME
Successful in Your Eyes
One Who Can Help Me Define My Dream and a Plan to Turn My Dream into Reality
One Who Believes in My Potential
A Teacher
Deeply Committed to Me
A Model for Me
Honest With Me
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2769922058


Here's my response:

Some free tips for you:

1. Tell people what type of company you're trying to start. Don't you want a mentor that knows something about what you're trying to do??? Starting a law firm isn't the same as a film company and starting a non-profit isn't the same as starting a restaurant. Different rules, different experiences, different obstacles. Talk to someone w/some authority on the matter.

2. Craig's List isn't the forum to find a mentor. You should be trying LinkedIn. Maybe join some groups & talk to people doing what you want to do. Perhaps there's a business association or networking group for what you want to do that could also be helpful.

3. You don't tell a mentor that they have to learn from YOU or that they have to be focused ONLY on YOU. Mentorship is a TWO WAY street!!!!!!!! Plus, who the Hell are YOU that someone w/the expertise you want for some business you've yet to identify should be learning ANYTHING from you? What have YOU done? What struggles have YOU faced? What adversity did you ever overcome? Did you earn your way in life or did Mommy & Daddy hand it to you?

I guarantee if you tell someone that without saying WHY anyone could learn from you, you'll be seen as just another arrogant Millenial & the person will be thinking the same things. People have their own shit to do as well & if you don't want to deal with that, you need to seek an actual teacher or career counselor. See #4.

4. On that note, teachers & advisers are paid MONEY for their expertise. If you want that type of one-sided relationship, you need to be offering some pay. People with skills decide if they want to volunteer their services, not the people who seek those services.

Lastly, Craig's List isn't your personal networking group & no one cares about your personal growth. You want sympathy, pay for it. Later.


I certainly have a negative impression of this person after reading this ad. Wouldn't you?

That concludes this installment. I bet you can still find some of these ads on Craig's List if you want to have some fun yourself laughing at the base stupidity, law violations & warped thinking that exist here. If you get a response, let me know what justifications these pinheads offer up.

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