People Who Kick Ass & The Failures

So, I've read a few news stories and the like lately about people who did awesomely great things I'd totally do if it were me as well as about events I'd beat the crap out of someone for doing to me.

First off, my husband introduced me to a website called Passive Aggressive Notes. Check it out for yourself. He says he regrets doing this because on any site where I read a story, I try to read all the user comments (largely to see if there is any hope for humanity or if I need to focus any vigilante justice on particular regions of the globe).

See this post. It epitomizes why I personally hated high school & the writers of Strangers With Candy were dead on when comparing high school to prison. Note that this post also illustrates the main problem of most high school administrators: they focus too much on trivial issues vs. real problems like drugs, bringing guns to school, fights, sneaking in alcohol, etc. Sorry, but I'll take "lewd dancing" over a fist/gun/knife/weapon of choice fight or drunk teenagers puking everywhere.

Perhaps I say this because I couldn't have paid money to get a high school classmate to engage in dirty dancing with me. This sort of thing is standard fare in clubs & college but they serve alcohol at those places (well, maybe not on my campus but if you had friends or were over 21 you could easily get alcohol & especially if you were female).

Why would you want to do it if you weren't dating the person & you knew most of the room was sober? At least if you're doing it & everyone's drunk, you can say "It wasn't me; you were just drunk & must have been seeing things." Personally, I would be way too self-conscious.

Perhaps I also say this because no one really cared about dances at our school unless it was the prom (we didn't even have other dances except for the prom & sometimes Homecoming, which was nothing).

At the prom, everyone was dressed up (in the late '90s long evening gowns were the style), some of us were over 18 at an off campus venue & no way would any self-respecting woman get her dress dirty on the ground to engage in this type of dancing. Even grinding would be kind of hard in a long evening dress. Do you know how much it costs to clean an evening gown? Or repair one?

I think my mother would have also pointed out the shitty grammar. She'd likely even say that it's further proof that these "adults" aren't worthy of our respect. If these people had to go through college & can do no better than that in writing (while my mother did not & is a very good speller), they are obviously morons. God help the youth of America. I'd hate to see what these students' essays look like. They'll likely send me shitty cover letters in a few years.

Let me also clue you old farts in on another reality: teenagers have likely done or seen most things. They're not 5 year olds! They have the Internet (can we say "porno"), friends on social networks & have likely heard/seen far worse at home. I consider "think of the children" a shitty argument to begin with unless you're talking to a parent about THEIR kids but it really doesn't fly for me in dealing with teenagers. They're supposed to be "young adults" & preparing for real life. Do you really think most things would be novel to them before the age of 18 if they lived in real life? You can't even cloister kids at religious private schools from the secular realities of life (just consider the number of teen pregnancies that happen) so I find it hysterical that a public institution would even think to try it. This is why British TV on teens will always be superior to American teen shows: the Brits don't act like teenagers are clueless little innocents!

I also don't recall this dance being open to grown ups. If it were, you might have an argument but otherwise, this is just about a bunch of old farts who need to let go & join us in modern times. If this were my school, I'd boycott & point out how you're banning break dancing, swing dancing & other forms of dance that are hardly lewd but would violate their little rule. Not to mention the arbitrary nature of it all! If you doubt I would, read about some of the things I did do in high school to piss off the Man.

Here's another human being fail. If you ever do this to me, bad things will happen (as you can read about in earlier posts). Or I'll likely write you a full diatribe about how you're not my parent, I'll eat & cook what I damn well please & that you have the option NOT TO EAT something if you declare it "unhealthy."

Or the best response: "Yes, Jeff I want you ALL to be fat & unhealthy. Especially you! You are all mental midgets and Jeff, you're the biggest one of all. Here's a Twinkie!" Note: if I tell you to eat a Twinkie, it means I really hate you since I hate Twinkies. I've tried but I don't like them. Give me a Hostess cupcake or one of their other treats instead. I've never had their Ding Dongs or Ho-Hos.

If other office dynamics work like this, is it no wonder I'm happy working by my lonesome???

Now, for some people who rock.

First off, Katt Williams. I'm all for his stance here. People who stand by what they say get points in my book. And by the way, my husband & I know who Katt Williams is from The Boondocks considering A Pimp Named Slickback has to be one of the coolest characters to ever grace an animated series. So there are some white fans. One of my husband's co-workers tried to see him live one night but apparently he'd had some kind of mental breakdown so the show was cancelled. I 100% agree with his comment on Tracy Morgan.

Second, Billie Joe Armstrong. I've not been a big Green Day fan since "Time of Your Life" came out but I agree with him on this. Southwest Airlines apparently declares itself the fashion police, as we've seen in the past. Do "Jesus freak" style Christians run it? Are on they on the board of directors? That's the only reason I can think of why any airline would choose to make the flying experience even more demeaning and insulting than the U.S. government already has via TSA & all the "security screenings."

This is why I refuse to fly unless I can go in a private airplane or you don't mind me showing up in a bikini. Maybe you should show up in a G-string bikini or just a G-string if you live in a state where women can go topless as long as they aren't advertising i.e. soliciting sex? I don't know & I refuse to bother with it. I'm sure Southwest Airlines would kick you off the plane if you showed up in a G-string bikini or any bikini. Eventually, I'm sure we'll all have to show up naked or do strip searches if we aren't already.

Finally, a lawyer decided to do something I've talked about doing myself. I haven't done it b/c my husband wouldn't allow it but I have no problem with someone doing this. The ABA has sold everyone out, there really aren't any powerful advocates for the situation most attorneys who don't have jobs are in (and new grads have it even worse since they don't even have experience to set up solo shops) & you'll never see real change until these coward lawyers get off their butts, stop worrying about impressing other lawyers, enlist support from more sympathetic groups/movements & take action.

Personally, I think blood may have to be shed or some unscrupulous collection agency will have to kill someone before real action happens. For one thing, you have to deal with the know-it-alls who say "you shouldn't have gone to law school; you should study THIS demanding field" and other pearls of shit that aren't one size fits all solutions & do nothing for people in a current situation. I want people like that to suffer greatly since clearly they've never faced hard times & are far too brainwashed to do anything more than let the slave master shit on their foreheads/anally rape them/whatever graphic atrocity you can think of. Maybe evolution will eventually breed them out of existence.

Second, you have the bar examining committee who'd make you give up your license for doing this. I still find it laughable that they have a character & fitness committee for lawyers in their outside lives, especially when this same committee will refuse to admit you for being poor while a rich guy who pees on federal memorials, sells drugs, fakes his credentials, espouses racist views and God knows what else lawyers from moneybag places have done & STILL get to keep their licensing. Another classist institution that if I were involved in you bet would be handled differently. It's also incredible that some of these people will turn their noses up at things & espouse the same views as the know-it-alls on comment forums when they also have never faced hard times. Guess what? I hate these sorts of know it alls & feel they should keep their mouths shut on matters they know NOTHING about. A million dollars says they'd crack like eggs if they ended up in the same situation & would never cope as well as this woman.

Oh, but guess who else I love? The holier than thou religious types who say "Don't be a stripper! God will provide! Work at Wal-Mart!"

Okay, Wal-Mart is just as degrading & according to many they are Satan. I think it's about equal on the scale of scumminess. Have you seen that website "People of Wal-Mart"? Do the churchies have any clue how much it costs to go to law school? A Wal-Mart salary barely feeds one person & provides zero medical care (as we've learned elsewhere); how would you ever pay off law school loans?

Plus, no lawyer would put up with the abuse that goes on in Wal-Mart & no sane manager there would dare hire someone who knows their legal rights. I still maintain that being a prostitute would be better than working at Wal-Mart. God also helps those who help themselves, unless you forgot that part of the Bible.

I don't recall a commandment that reads "Thou shalt not be a stripper." I recall "Judge not lest ye be judged" and "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor" along with scores of other passages these harpies have likely broken a hundred times in their miserable little lives. Oh, and if we're going with the "body as a temple" thing, then let's talk about tattoos, pierced ears, shaving, cutting your hair & any other cosmetic changes that violate how God made you. Bet you won't like that conversation, will you?

I also don't recall this woman saying she was having unprotected sex with married men or raping anyone (yes, women can rape men). If these men want to pay the money to see boobies, that's on them not the business owner & not the dancers taking advantage of it.

Same thing as Mr. Fat Police earlier; your vices are YOUR problem, not mine & not everyone else's!! Take some personal responsibility, douchebag.

Carla, I hope you read this blog or one of your friends does. You'd actually be someone I could probably stand & be okay with having as a fellow colleague. I'm sure you're not the kind of asshole that makes me hate most lawyers & hesitate to do anything helpful for them. If you do more interesting things & want help in the mainstream entertainment world, let me know. I'm sure many of your clientele are attorneys themselves so let's just think about that hypocrisy for a moment.