Mourning Strangers and Ditching Your Mate for Fatness

Something I've never been able to understand is people who mourn the deaths of celebrities. Case in point: Amy Winehouse.

First off, read my whole point about not canonizing stupid people & self-destructive folk. That's one huge reason I didn't write some kind of self-aggrandizing "tribute" or message of sadness on my social media pages about Amy Winehouse.

Second, I don't mourn famous people unless I know them personally. As in, I know they're a truly awesome person who'd give me the time of day & not dismiss me or view me as one of "the little people." If I've witnessed you in person & didn't see you acting like a prick for no reason or someone I know and trust had a personal experience w/you & says you're cool, I have slightly less contempt for you. Let's say you've moved from 100% to 75%. To get that number lower means you'll have to work to win me over. Say taking an interest in my life, talking to me, making me feel like you'd give a damn if I died. Give me motivation to mourn your death. Otherwise, my tears and my grief are precious commodities.

I've lost too many real people in my life to have emotional outpourings for total strangers who'd have likely proven every negative emotion I have about celebrities, people with money, whatever.

If I didn't meet you, that's your loss & I'm still not mourning you. Maybe I'll meet you in the afterlife & you won't be a prick. Your being famous doesn't make your life any more important than my late niece's, for instance. Anyone who believes that basic premise is false is a total prick I wouldn't shed a single tear for. I might even celebrate the death of a jerk like that.

This isn't to say that some moron or celeb dying isn't unfortunate or sad for their families. Again, I've lost people who had a connection in my life. My late brother in law's death has probably been one of the biggest motivators I've had to pursue my career in entertainment and look past the law school rat race/superficiality. When you see one of your relatives struck down so young at random and with no foreseeability involved, the phrase "life is too short" takes on a much stronger meaning.

What I won't do, and what you should not expect me to do, is to have some loud emotional outpouring or shed tears for celebrities who meant nothing to me and had no connection to my life. I'm not going to mourn or share in a grief I have no business inserting myself into. That's really what it is, when you think about it for a moment: you're trying to shove yourself into the place of someone's family & friends when you do all this "mourning" nonsense. Who doesn't find it a bit tacky? There's saying "it's sad" and there's the full on melodrama that you see people engaging in.

And if I died and got fans all over the world? I would NOT want fans who didn't know me showing up at a funeral for my family & friends. You know, people who actually knew me & cared enough about me to show up. If I made an impact, that's great but don't act like a stalker by trying to create a fake friendship/relationship with me. Don't intrude on my loved ones!

Have a separate event. Better yet, celebrate my life & use it to improve yours. I'd be happiest if I influenced someone to do what made them happy instead of worrying about what everyone else thought of them. I'd be thrilled if it led to true social change and more people became fearless & called things as they saw them.

Perhaps I'm too honest for my own good at times. I don't believe in glossing over the realities of someone. If the deceased was an asshole, it's perfectly okay to acknowledge that in my book. I feel like you're a liar if you don't. As far as I'm concerned, having an illness or dying doesn't make you a saint. It just makes you sick or dead. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. I wouldn't want to be canonized when I'm dead; I know I'm not perfect.

Speaking of people who aren't perfect, the people who'd dump a mate for gaining weight certainly aren't. Apparently, it's a large number.

The comments on this story are quite interesting as well with many men claiming that women are using "bait & switch" in being thin when they meet a man, marrying him and then gaining weight.

I can tell these morons have never experienced true love. They've not had a real situation happen to them or anyone else. If you would ditch a spouse or someone you supposedly love over weight gain, then you're a liar and a total idiot who will die alone.

One interesting point is that some of these people who commented make no exception for if the woman had the man's children. I find it arrogant and incredible that men want to make demands for large families and essentially demand women to give up their figures, health, careers and sex appeal to pop out their "pwecious baybeez."

As far as I'm concerned, until that man can pop out those babies himself he needs to keep his damn mouth shut and has nothing to say about any woman's weight gain. That arrogance pisses me off & I'm thankful to have my spouse more and more after seeing guys who act like that on TV and online. If I met one in person, could you imagine the verbal beating he'd get from me? I'm sure some of you might pay to watch that confrontation.

It also pisses me off that the average American seems to be a-okay with men making this type of demand on women then just dumping her for gaining weight, all because she had those kids in the first place.

Another great point for these mental midgets: everyone who doesn't die by a certain age eventually gets old. Unless you've got money for plastic surgery, personal trainers, etc., you're not going to look like Cher when you hit your 50s+. Chances are, even if you did, you STILL wouldn't look like Cher. Aging also happens to everyone, even famous people. I'm sure if you spoke to some, they'd point to things that happened because of aging.

So old graying flaccid men, you're most likely not going to find women who want your ugly behind any more than the old graying flaccid women. Maybe you could hire a hooker or get a sugar baby but they're just about the money. You're deluded if you think they'd give a damn about you. Why should they? Leaving someone for gaining weight proves that you're a shallow piece of trash who fancies himself/herself as a demigod.

What would you do if your mate got into an accident, had cancer or anything else that altered their appearance in some way? Part of sex appeal comes from personality along with how you feel about someone & how they make you feel about yourself. If someone makes you feel like the most beautiful person on Earth, it doesn't matter how they look. That's love. Leaving someone because of cosmetic changes proves that the person meant nothing to you & you're just a liar.

In the case of my husband, he asked me to shoot him if he becomes massively obese. This, however, is because he says HE'D feel bad about himself and like a drain on society. I would not love him less for his looks but because he would be a different person if he were accepting it and not doing something about it. I would know it ran counter to who he was.

It may sound contradictory but I don't think it is. This is not "he gained weight so I'm trading him in for a skinnier model." This is "he's become the very thing he said he never wanted to be." It would be similar in my mind to him becoming an alcoholic or an addict; he knows that's a deal-breaker for me since I lived it. I would never expect him to put up with alcoholism or addiction from me either since I had to live it as a child stuck in that household.

This study makes it sound more like "I'm trading up" than "The person became something (s)he told me (s)he didn't want to be & it made the person 180."

As for any "slacking off" by me since getting married, I wouldn't say any of my habits have really changed. If anything, I lost weight by moving to NYC even though I don't do nearly as much walking as I would if I had a 9-5 job someplace. My diet's probably healthier since there are things I simply don't eat since they mess me up & I'd rather not experience it. For one, I like my own cooking better.

Some of the people commenting also put the person doing exercise as a be all, end all requirement that the person MUST do to stay in their house.

Let me tell you, imposing an exercise requirement on someone who can fit into a size 0 in some brands is completely stupid! I'd end up with no boobs and probably having to buy children's clothing (I happen to like my boobs just fine, thank you). Not to mention it'd bring out more parental, in-law and general societal concern that I'm too skinny. My acting resume doesn't list "inability to gain weight" for no reason, you know?

I hope these shallow motherfuckers get a nice kick in the butt from life. Dying alone, wishing they had someone who cared about them, whatever. You know conduct like that is inviting life's torment. I say if you find true love, don't throw it away. It would be like tossing a lottery ticket worth millions of dollars. Who's that dumb?