Long Overdue Life Updates

A lot has happened since my last post.

I got to go on my first ever trip outside the United States. That was huge, lots of fun and something I definitely want to do again but want to be more proficient in the language first; I went to Paris so got my first passport stamp in my passport. I got that lifetime subscription to Babble so I could try learning some of the languages they have on there. Sadly, I haven't tried doing that yet but it's on my list of things to do. So is more travel and I do have friends who live in different places I could visit and some who've traveled around the world I can consult with on travel tips.

I also got a new job in an area of law that I learned you could do elsewhere so long as you have a state license SOMEWHERE. So if I ended up leaving NYC, it looks like I could work in a firm that does immigration law as long as I kept at least one of my law licenses. You have to remember that I don't support illegal immigration but if someone's already here and is trying to become legal, that's an impluse I think should be encouraged. If someone's trying to do right and asks for your help, I think you should try to help them in that goal so long as you're not breaking the law or legal ethics rules. However, that's a job I don't feel will last long term. Not because of the work itself, my immediate boss or the support staff (I have no technical colleagues since it's a very small office) but because of the owner. I don't play disrespect towards me, period. If I didn't tolerate something as a 15/16 year old working at JcPenney, I'm not about to stand for it with 2 law licenses and a JD behind me. That's a simple fact. The upside is learning a new area of law and that there is room for creativity and personality in a law firm litigation job. I didn't believe there was any. I still want to make a living in entertainment law or doing in-house work but since I'm learning the paperwork part of litigation, I could end up having more options than I did in the past.

Then, my boyfriend decided to break up with me but it's just like a Woody Allen movie at this point without any teenagers or near teenagers involved in romantic entanglements. I'd never take up with someone that young since I have a nephew who just turned 18. I've always had a minimum of "the legal drinking age" post-divorce (in the US, 21) but since my last birthday, I feel like it's pathetic to pursue 20 something guys. I also don't want to be some sugar mommy or feel like someone's mom. Probably too many generational differences. Plus the guy I was dating is much closer to my age and generation. That breakup has just been puzzling and confusing but I've been pondering things. I've had more time for "me" things (like finding a yoga studio much closer to my apartment than the one I used to go to that closed in the pandemic), though freakouts over the latest variant might fuck me up (my spheres tend to get way more paranoid and dramatic about it than his do). He's been at my apartment more since dumping me right before Thanksgiving than he'd been in 7 months of dating.

It's not been a normal breakup since in a normal breakup, I cut off the guy completely. He's literally X-ed out. An ex can't get into my life again without making effort past me blocking any point of communication he'd previously used. I don't pick up calls from unknown numbers, won't deal with anything with that guy's name, deal with any of his buddies, that sort of thing. I saw these hearts in a booth at Grand Central years back that I still wish I'd at least seen what they cost apiece since if you fashioned one with a layer of thick ice, concrete and barbed wire (not necessarily in that order) you'd have a visual of how guarded I keep my heart. If you'd dealt with lots of people letting you down over the course of decades and had the upbringing I had, you'd also be guarded.

This guy still wants to be in my life and talk to me. He claims that he didn't break up because he lost romantic interest or hated my cooking; part of me still wonders if I'm going to have to see him with some other girl all over him like we were in our dating life. That would be a definite "leave me alone & you might not ever be around me again" thing. I also never stay friends with exes or deal with them. I didn't do that with my ex-husband. 7 years later, I don't see myself ever doing that if I saw him. He did major shit to hurt me; I'm not sure if anyone else could inflict as much psychic damage as he did. I like to pretend exes don't exist. Sorry, I'm not that mature or evolved.

The main reason I've let this guy hang around is because it wasn't an angry breakup like every single other breakup I've ever had. He didn't lie to me about some fundamental aspect of the relationship, he didn't just wake up and tell me he was no longer interested and he was being nice. I've had to take care of myself in life, especially after I lost some contact and support in my life. It's like "fuck you, I'll still get shit done even though you just made things harder." He's also still talked to me on his own volition after the business of retriveving my stuff from his place was done. It's more akin to my marriage than all my other relationships were. I'd told him I won't bother with some guy who's thinking "I broke up with her right before Thanksgiving and she still wants to talk to me. Look how pathetic she is." There's also been a lot more closeness in many ways than he told me he had with other friends and he told me this isn't how his other breakups ended so I don't feel like "this is just some routine he gives to everyone." Apparently him giving me a key so early also wasn't something he did with all the girls so knowing that makes me feel like I matter, that I'm special to him. He mostly said he wants to stay around because he likes me as a person, feels I have potential but will never reach it if I'm not around generous people (of which he's one). Friends have said he's the only guy I've ever dated who wasn't a loser or an asshole. That feels like a very sad commentary on my life; what's even worse is this guy has treated me better in a lot of ways than my ex-husband, the man who married me and took vows with me, ever did.

But I guess you could look at that and say "yes, the breakup was sad but it means the commentary can change." He assures me there are other guys like him in the world with regard to personality. I'm definitely skeptical of such guys existing in NYC though you can find conservatives and guys who don't want to be players in their 50s and 60s+. My question is do any of them have a comparable education and life perspective to me or are they the type to say to me "you use big words" (I've literally had guys in NC say that to me).

In recent weeks I've definitely seen things I can point to and tell this guy "here's how you aren't perfect." He told me a rather illuminating story that made me even more empathetic to his ex than I already was (since I know what it's like to be ambushed and have the man you love leave you). I heard this, thought "I 100% get why she feels as she does" and told him if he'd done that to me I'd have said "I hope that chick has space because you're not staying in my home." I'd have been civil for kids but civility would have been all my ex would have gotten from me; I'd never take him back and sure wouldn't approach him even if I felt my absolute lowest or loneliest. I'd simply get a sex doll and make sure I had a cat for cuddling and affection needs; cats are good for that, at least ones I've been around. Most cats like me.

Cats are also easier since they are very transparent about where you stand with them. They don't pretend to like you and aren't nearly as needy as dogs apparently are. If a cat wants to sit in your lap or get head scratches and you're not the one who feeds him/her, that's genuine fondness. Plus they kill mice and bugs. I can't hate a species that does that and just looks darn cute. I actually missed the ones I had when I was married more than my ex-husband. My roommate's cat has also been very comforting but unfortunately, he's not mine and isn't well cared for by his humans. I've vowed to get a brush for his fur so at least his tail and back will be smooth and fluffy again. He's the Harry of this place (reference to my mom's cat Harry who's a massive love bug but isn't the cat who's so good with vermin killing); if I knew he'd be around New Year's Eve he could be my furry New Year's date but no guarantee there.

Not looking forward to New Year's. I can't stay in NC longer because of my job (though that means money) and I no longer have a boyfriend (the reason I wouldn't stay in NC longer pre-pandemic since court appearances almost never happened between Christmas and New Year's; at least the one year the guy I was seeing had moved away, I was moving into a new place and got to be in a fashion show on New Year's Eve). I don't even have a familiar I could hang out with though maybe I could hang out with a friend who says she'll be around. That's it's own drama, however. At least on Valentine's Day, I have a dedicated single person's ritual. Not a clue what I could do for New Year's that's not spending a crap ton of money on a party. I don't even have some new experience I could do like going to the Times Square ball drop.

One good thing I've noticed is that talking to that friend has given me perspective on my own life troubles. My stuff is much easier than hers. Perspective on your own troubles is impotant; knowing others have survived worse or are going through worse takes you out of feeling sorry for yourself, which is important if you want to cultivate better in your life. Plenty of sources will verify this including guides on manifestation and creating abundance.

Why My Autobiography Just Begs to Be Written Someday

Among the other things I've done in my life, I learned more information amidst the death of my father that just screams "writing inspiration."

First off, my former friend who showed her ass at my sister's wedding chose the day after my father collapsed & was in the hospital to try apologizing for it and shoving her way back into my life. Real fucking nice there, huh? My husband went to his Other inbox to find the date on this little message. She told my sister she'd sent it weeks before; ha!

Doesn't that sound ghoulish to you? I really think it does. While I was in town, she kept calling my sister & trying to come over. Christ, what the fuck is that about? She probably figured I was staying there or spending time there. Exactly what would she hope to accomplish by talking to someone whose father has just died? That sounds to me like trying to prey on someone's vulnerability. I made it crystal clear that I didn't want to deal with her so injecting herself where I don't want her is the emotional equivalent of punching me in the face.

What sane person would do that to someone? If you're so hellbent on talking to someone, send a Sympathy card. Talk to the people who want to talk to you! Don't inject yourself into someone else's grieving experience!

I had to play "dodge the ex-friend" at the wake since I figured she'd have zero respect or regard even if my mother & sister told her not to speak to me. Though I think she could firebomb a church & my sister would still be friends with her. Meanwhile, had I pulled the shit this ex-friend did at my sister's wedding my sister would have cut me off completely & I'd have never seen my niece or nephews again.

My husband thinks I did this to get my mind off the whole wake experience. Looking at my father in the casket, he didn't look the same. He was chalk white & looked old. Even in the hospital he had more color though that wasn't him either. I have a nasty Yelp review to write very soon about the doctor who tried to deprive me of saying goodbye.

Before that wake, I did get in a fight with my mother over the same old clothing battle again. Even in death, she felt she had the right to tell me what to wear & had all this objection over my shirt that says "Good Girls Go to Heaven, Bad Girls Go to New York." She thought that the pastor they had doing the service would get a laugh from it but claimed "that's not appropriate to wear." I refused to budge on that issue & opted to stay home. At least one friend agreed with me on this; I couldn't see her ever letting anyone censor her style so I figured I shouldn't do it either. Gee, I don't live there, don't go to that church, am not even in that religion & am a grown woman!

Sooner or later you have to say "Enough is enough." Just because my sister asks my mother's approval on clothing doesn't mean I should have to. Plus, I'm a model & live in NYC; I know more about fashion than they do. Nor should they get any right to try shaming me into being a frump. I knew my father wouldn't care & was never obsessed with trying to infantalize me. Maybe to piss my mom off if she dies before me, I should really wear a stripper like outfit to the funeral (in black, of course)!

On Wednesday, the funeral, I opted not to wear makeup. While I was soaking my eyes, my father's cat Layla jumped onto the bed. My mom was saying she missed her Daddy; it made me cry since I knew this cat wasn't going to get the same affection from anyone that she got from him. I thought about how my cats would feel if my husband or I died, especially my Russian Blue since his breed gets super attached to their humans. Considering I was barely able to get my contacts in from drying out my eyes with tears, I figured eye makeup would be a bad idea. Plus if I'm wearing it I get very conscientious about not messing it up.

I got to wear my black silk dress that I'd gotten ages ago & felt would be the perfect funeral dress. It was sporadically raining outside & I was worried I'd be getting it soaked i.e. ruining it. I was assured I looked gorgeous in it; if you saw it & already think I am even in my worst times, you'd have probably thought so as well.

We got a family car from the funeral home at my sister's request so I rode in that with even the driver holding an umbrella to protect my dress while I traipsed the muddy driveway to the limo. In so many ways it was a tight squeeze and as someone who both isn't a "believer" + is childfree, it was not pleasant for me. I couldn't help but cry at parts of the service & when they played "Taps" as part of the military portion of the funeral. My father really didn't know a stranger; as part of his being gone, I'm trying to be less closed off on the unpleasant stuff.

I've still felt compelled to cry at times. Sometimes little things triggered it like seeing Layla and petting her. For some reason, she wasn't nearly as skittish as she was in the past. I sure don't want to hear about Father's Day shit; in fact, I'd rather not celebrate it at all. Can't even imagine how Thanksgiving or Christmas will be; they feel a million miles away right now.

I did write a letter to say the things I never got to say. Writing that also made me teary eyed. I'm sure it had to be fun for my seatmate on Amtrak but at least he was respectful & didn't pry into my private affairs.

Death makes you see who your real friends are & who they aren't. Some haven't even mustered a "That sucks" & I do know one thing for certain: my future isn't going to be with City Bar's Entertainment Committee. I've seen all kinds of things about their loved one's funerals but no one's bothered posting about my father's. Out of state or not, that's still an immediate family member of mine & I know if it was certain people's parents, they'd get an announcement & information on it. I did my part by alerting the Committee President on it. If I can't even get that, I shouldn't have to announce it myself. This isn't an IndieGoGo campaign or my modeling debut. I feel quite betrayed & insulted here.

Nor should a woman ever have to tell her husband she needs comforting. My husband ticked me off a few times by not getting that & just hanging out with my nephew or brother in law instead of doing the very thing he was supposed to be in NC doing in the first place: comforting me. Is this a guy thing? Do we women actually have to tell our romantic partners "Hey, I'm upset here! I'd like a hug (or grief nookie or whatever.)"

I got back home Friday night amidst pouring rain. It rained in NC much more than I expected during the week so it was a good thing I took my hoodie & waterproof jacket. Made sure to wear them on Friday since they called for rain from NC to where I had to go. My train was delayed by 2 hours but I still beat my husband back to NY state. He flew since he opted to fly later & couldn't cancel the return trip without paying a ton of money for the cancellation fee. I refuse to fly for various reasons, particularly the whole being treated like a criminal thing & the sexism against women with baggage policies (yes, it's totally sexist to women considering we usually have to pack more & are expected by conventional society to care more about our appearance). I figured I didn't need more bullshit when it's already a pain in the ass to get to NC from where I live & vice versa. Unless you drive yourself (which has its own hassles & challenge), it's literally a pain to deal with transit to get to the area. I also expected delays & wasn't sure my husband would be able to fly out, especially since he was flying US Airways (one of the worst airlines in existence).

Only since I've gotten home do I feel that I've gotten any respite from this. We had no rental car or privacy from all of it. No grief nookie or even grief making out, no feeling I was at home or real way to feel comfortable. I feel like a prisoner when I'm in NC, at least when I'm not hanging out with people like those I associate with on my own in NYC. After that sweaty, rain soaked walk home, I hugged my babies (the cats), made the calls I needed to including some to friends & contemplated what I was going to do at 10:40 at night when I woke up at 5:15 that morning. I don't sleep outside of a bed or couch at where I'm supposed to be staying for the night unless I'm really out of it. That takes a lot from me since I'm paranoid about theft while I sleep.

I also learned a few other revealing facts on this trip: my parents did have sex after having my sister & Psycho Boy, the guy I lost my virginity to, now has a boyfriend.

The Psycho Boy thing is interesting for a few reasons. First off, if I were a size queen I'd have just let him move to Marietta & planned a future with him. Let me tell you right now that size is nothing when it's attached to a guy who is mentally unstable & has an unhealthy obsession with you. Not to mention someone who loudly announces the nudity in artwork & raves about how hot your boss is at your work study job (while she's in earshot, by the way).

Second, I'm not sure I had major clues on this one since he just seemed to me to be the type who really wasn't ready for sex at the time while I was. Everyone around me had done it & I didn't want my first time to be with a rapist. I wanted to choose my experience & start living as an adult having those college experiences. Perhaps I was trying to break from the puritanical chains I got stuck in from childhood & embrace my new life. He made some peculiar requests later on but to me, it seemed to come from the lens of "This is new for me & I'm going to jump right in."

Third, he was the kind of guy to sway more into homophobia than tolerance. He didn't seem to be particularly sympathetic to gay issues; in fact, he wasn't the type to even know enough about politics or social issues to have an opinion much less debate me on them. In short, there was not that intellectual satisfaction that I thought I didn't need but in fact a person does need. My mother intimated this with her remark about our relationship not being sustainable since he didn't even have a GED & I was going into my second year of college.

After hearing this, I'm wondering what his father said or did. Psycho Boy told me about his father finding a sex toy of ours & assuming his son was gay instead of going to where most of us might logically go first: he's using it on this girlfriend he's been spending all this time with recently. Needless to say, his father was angry & perhaps a tad paranoid about the possibility of his son deviating from the Christian holy roller tradition of marrying a girl, having babies with her & all that noise. Psycho Boy told me about how pissed his parents were at his older brother for getting a girl pregnant outside of marriage.

I think I get a pass on not marrying this guy or staying in a long term relationship like my family would have wanted, don't you? My mother & sister were always sympathetic to him; even my sister made cracks about how I messed him up by being the first girl he slept with & broke his heart. I think I'd have been really pissed about being in a sham marriage & would demand a divorce.

These days, you can go to my home state or a few others in this country & marry your homosexual lover if you want to. You can get insurance & all sorts of stuff you couldn't in the past; all you have to do is go to one of those states and not live in the crappy redneck parts of this country where people love to impose their way of life onto everyone else instead of actually LIVING a life of their own. From what I hear, this would have been a relationship entered into under false pretenses. You have to at least inform someone if you want them to be in a sham marriage & give them permission to have an open relationship so they can get their sexual needs met elsewhere. I wouldn't do a sexless marriage, as should be obvious.

It was something of a shock but also a relief for me. Psycho Boy finding happiness with the other team means he's no longer obsessed with me or someone I have to worry about becoming obsessed with me again (at least if he's full on gay & not just bi). This was a guy who'd hated natural redheads before dating me & hasn't been the first to react in some strong way towards me that made me feel claustrophobic or trapped. It means I could see him at some event & not have to worry that he's going to do something to make me uncomfortable or prompt my husband's attention.

Maybe I also helped him get to that point or made him presentable to gay men; I would consider it a point of pride to have inspired someone to have the courage to be themselves without worrying about what anyone else thought. Apparently I was the one who motivated him to get his driver's license and work on getting that GED. The girl after me was apparently abusive but you never know: the being yourself without worrying about what other people think sounds a lot like me. I can say for sure there aren't many people like that in my hometown; more of them worry about what other people think instead of doing what they want to do. That's probably one reason I had to get the hell out of there.

It's interesting to note that according to studies, gay men are bigger. I thought maybe this was anecdotal but my husband looked it up & it wasn't. This whole thing with Psycho Boy would definitely support this since he was the biggest I had.

The smallest guy, however, wasn't a super massive horndog who jumped on anything with a pulse. I call him Corona Boy & he was definitely not the sort of guy with women falling all over him. That is something I couldn't speculate on since I was never the type to be interested in those guys (sharing wasn't my thing & probably isn't for most natural redheads) or really get anyplace with them (referring to the high school crush there). Maybe other women can tell us if the guys who jump on anything are the smallest & worst in bed.

It would be true justice if that were the case, don't you think? No woman would have to worry about not sleeping with that guy in high school or college since she'd have been disappointed there too. I couldn't say about women since I've not met any truly non-selective women that men would want to compete with each other to sleep with.

This has to explain things about me but I'm not sure exactly what. In the meantime, I'm seeing friends who care, taking it easy & waiting for the day I'll not worry about crying at random. I'm not sure you ever get over it & I'm still pissed by the unfairness of it all. Religion doesn't provide me comfort on it. The only comfort I have is that I'm going to make money from what I do or die trying. I won't have anyone belittle or undermine my career or use lack of money to claim it's not valid. I owe it to my deceased family to keep living to the fullest and taking every viable opportunity I can. Those not with that program will just have to get out of my way.

I've also got a treasure trove of inspiration for writing.

What the Holy Fuck?!?!?!? Craig's List Ads, Part 7 & The Ideal Job for Me

In the midst of the craziness I'm dealing with in being a cat wrangler (the vet has given our little tabby feline a nearly 100% clean bill of health; we're just waiting on the toxoplasmosis screening), I just noticed that I had all of these ads to rail on including an encounter with someone who has totally missed the boat on Networking 101.

I also encountered a fucking idiot on LinkedIn of all places who apparently decided to denounce non-Jewish attorneys wholesale and when I called him out on it, then claimed "It was a joke; I can't believe you took it seriously. We laughed about it at our office."

Funny but last I checked LinkedIn was for PROFESSIONALS who were doing legitimate things & asking legitimate questions, not a forum to attack my profession or declare yourself superior b/c you're an actor (or to jerk around, for that matter). The awesomeness of Jewish attorneys aside, don't dare make judgments about me when you've never worked with, met me in person or even spoken directly to me.

Attorneys have more education than the average actor, film exec and film producer so you best not be a prick, buttercup. You'd better believe I'm going to call out some mental midget who thinks they've got any prayer in this business by alienating entertainment attorneys. That's a promise.

Take yesterday. I saw this ad on Craig's List posted in the Manhattan, NYC section:

Beautiful Recording Artist looking to network & Gain Exposure!

Beautiful Florida recording artist is seeking someone or a company in Atlanta to help promote upcoming music campaign. Artist is very seasoned, but needs a strong person, that can help build fanbase in that area. Please contact via email for photos & links!

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: neg

Seeing this & having lived in Atlanta for a time (plus not being a fucking idiot & seizing potential opportunity when I see it), I write this in response:

Some free advice: if you want to network in Atlanta, maybe you shouldn't be posting this in NYC Craig's List in the Manhattan section. You should be actually posting in the Atlanta section; you might have better luck there.

As for me, I'm an entertainment law attorney in NYC with a NY & CT law license who went to undergrad in Atlanta. If you think you don't need to know entertainment law attorneys even if you have one or they're in a different region, you're in for a massive wake up call.

Friendly enough, right? Definitely is if you know me. Plus, it's true. Remember that 98% of the creatives I encounter in this business will kiss lawyer butt & that doesn't just go for low level folks; we're also talking A-listers and people very high up in the food chain who can (possibly are) pricks to most of humanity but don't pull that with lawyers.

Here's the response I got:

You are a psycho. Please get a life. Who said ANYTHING about not needing an attorney? not me. Goodbye

My response?

Dumbass! Looks like someone is not only illiterate but completely stupid.

First off, we don't even post our attempt to network in the correct city. Manhattan does not = Atlanta. If it did, I would have found Mr. Right long before I ever moved to the Northeast. In fact, I could have had Mr. Right come with me to NYC if that were the case. Trust me, it's not.

Second, we lie about wanting to network since most people who claim to want to network are not just nice but in some ways are deferential to attorneys. I've had people outright say they were scared of me. I expect basic civility & usually get people falling all over themselves to compliment me or be nice to me.

Third, entertainment attorneys cost a shit ton of money. Friends will get reduced rates and accommodating, regardless of the industry someone is involved in. Would you behave like an ass to a heart doctor if you had a heart condition? Would you be nasty to a criminal defense attorney if you were sitting in jail? Then, why are you being nasty to an entertainment attorney if you are a performer?

Doesn't matter if you already have legal counsel. Your lawyer could die, get disbarred, retire, sell his/her firm, get fired from the mega firm, get suspended (those ethics rules can be strict), steal your money, fall off the face of the Earth, etc. No one who has or wants to do ANYTHING in the entertainment industry is nasty to a licensed entertainment attorney. Ever.

Doing so announces to me that you're not the hot stuff you think you are. If you're trying to do international work, your domestic attorney can't do shit for you when it comes to understanding those contracts. If you think you don't need a NY or CA licensed attorney to do work in NYC or LA, you're not only stupid but a class A, fucking idiot. You might as well just hand over your money to that Nigerian attorney who contacted you about your relative's estate.

Finally, this "very seasoned artist" is trying to network using Craig's List. Guess we're not so "seasoned" after all, are we?

Oh, and since I do what I do & have my track record you'd better believe I'll remember my encounters with you and warn my contacts accordingly. I can be your greatest ally or your worst nightmare. It's up to you.

If you want to respond to this lying airhead before the post expires, here's the reply e-mail:

hjkxp-3702059618@gigs.craigslist.org

More utter stupidity from the entertainment community:

Assistant to Actress (NYC/LA)

Looking for a full time assistant to an actress in NEW YORK CITY and LOS ANGELES primarily.

Applicant must be college educated, be willing and able to travel without notice, have a valid drivers license and live in Manhattan.

Job responsibilities include but are not limited to:
- basic personal assistant tasks such as scheduling and booking appointments, managing calendars, arranging travel, picking up/dropping off dry cleaning, miscellaneous errands, phone calls,
emails etc...
- basic household management tasks such as making sure townhouse functions smoothly (scheduling regular maintenance (AC/HEAT, pest control, security system, gardener, etc), overseeing deliveries of household items.
- professional responsibilities range from liaising with talent agents, publicists, hair and makeup agents, fashion pr on a regular basis and specifically during awards season or press tours.
- responsibilities involved when on location or traveling include driving employer to work when on location, or to appointments, etc, light grocery shopping, managing, organizing, light cleaning of hotel room or house.

Please do not reply if you do not meet the following requirements:
College Educated
Willing and able to travel (sometimes without notice)
Possess a valid drivers license
Live in Manhattan

*Only females will be considered due to the personal nature of the job. Employer is female.*
Hours are flexible but an ability to be on call 24/7 when needed is a strict requirement.
Starting salary is NON NEGOTIABLE $30,000.

Please respond with a resume and short description of yourself and your qualifications.

Location: NYC/LA
Compensation: $30,000
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Posting ID: 3609654649

Assistant to Actress (or is it Underpaid Slave?)

Someone's a moron to think anyone's going to work on-call for that piddling rate. Try triple that salary if you want real responses. Otherwise, this actress should be prepared to be a victim of petty theft. I know I won't shed any tears if that happens.

Entirely true & this is obviously not a legitimate actress if that's the employment terms. May she suffer some skeezy director that makes her life a living Hell! This bitch would totally deserve it for this attempt at slavery.

Tell me, what is up with all these ads from so-called industry professionals that insist on breaking basic labor & wage laws? Here's another one:

Talent Management company seeking an Intern as a Personal Assistant (NYC)

A boutique Talent Management Company in NYC is looking for an intern (unpaid) to work as a personal assistant. Management company works mainly with actors, actresses and models. You MUST have prior experience in the listed tasks in the Film & TV Industries. You need to be well versed in new & upcoming Films and TV shows. You would want to develop a career as a talent manager at some point. You MUST have experience in at least 2 of the below tasks. Please be local as our office is located in Manhattan.

Tasks: (ALL equally important)

• Work with talent and match talent to new & upcoming projects.
• Get updated constantly & get familiar with different casting calls.
• Find & book auditions.
• Connect & network with different casting personnel for the purpose of advancing talent.

Qualities: (ALL equally important)

• Be focused on the tasks at hand.
• Quick thinking and adapting.
• Punctual
• Serious and business oriented.
• Not afraid to step out of your comfort zone.
• Pro-active, someone who does not wait to be told what to do.
* Business Attire a must

You MUST have experience in the above tasks and is able to carry out the above tasks and have the qualities listed. Please also specify in the body of the email what kind of experience you have relating to the film and TV industries. Please send resume as an attachment. If you DON'T have the needed experience, PLEASE, do not reply to this ad.

Location: NYC
Compensation: Full Time Internship
This is an internship job

This was another one warranting a response & another Craig's List ad was posted the same day that tied into the response:

You are obviously NOT a legitimate company or you'd know this ad is totally illegal & would never have posted it.  Do you NOT know state & federal labor laws?  By definition an "intern" has ZERO prior experience.  People with prior experience are called "skilled workers"; those people have to be paid a wage BY LAW.

AND you want "business attire" along with someone coming to YOUR office for ZERO PAY?  Who the hell do you think YOU are?  Oh, and full time internships are also illegal.

Do YOU pay to work for people?  Do you book jobs and NOT take a percentage for them?  Do you get percentages when you don't even bother doing the work & talent gets them all by their lonesomes?  Would YOU accept such an arrangement?  I'll bet you wouldn't forfeit your percentage even if you did nothing to make a job happen.

If YOU wouldn't work for these terms, then what makes you think anyone else with basic competence will?  Who would pay $112 per month to do YOUR work?  Not to mention the possible expense of hundreds of dollars to get proper business attire (maybe $200 if the person finds a good deal on "business attire"; business suits are about $100 for a single one & decent dress pants go for about $50+ depending on where you go as well as if any alterations are needed).  Even a trust fund baby would be pissed off by your arrogance & entitlement attitude.

Go fuck yourself & learn how the business world works.  Clearly, you haven't got a clue & I sure wouldn't want you representing ME.  Business owners ARE watching & how you treat the lesser of all is a huge factor in our calculations.

Signed, An Attorney Who Owns an Entertainment Business & Isn't a Fucking Scumbag

P.S. There's a law firm dedicated to suing employers who use unpaid internships & they have gone after big industry players.  Keep it up & you will be next.


You may also wish to read the following since you are obviously stupid or exploitative jerks who deserve what they get:


THE LAW CONCERNING UNPAID INTERNSHIPS!
JOB SEEKERS..... LISTEN UP!


TO EVEN OFFER AN UNPAID INTERNSHIP,
THE EMPLOYER MUST HAVE THE NECESSARY ACCREDITATION.


PLEASE CLICK ON THE LINKS BELOW AND READ.


http://www.trepanierlaw.com/whatsnew.asp?id=201205012100

http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/07/the-uses-and-misuses-of-unpaid-internships/

http://www.consumer-classactions.com/investigations/internet-scam/are-you-an-unpaid-intern/

http://www.newyorkemploymentattorneyblog.com/2010/05/department_of_labor_issues_gui.html

http://moneyland.time.com/2012/05/02/the-beginning-of-the-end-of-the-unpaid-internship-as-we-know-it/

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/06/business/unpaid-internships-dont-always-deliver.html?pagewanted=all

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/03/business/03intern.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&pagewanted=all&adxnnlx=1338073718-f5iYNeiL9CE6KLAWxef+aw

I wonder if this is for that bitch talent manager who sent me unsolicited communication then had the gall to try charging me for a networking meeting? Such unprofessionalism wouldn't shock me in the least from that corner.

I hope all attorneys involved in production companies check these things out about management companies they deal with & refuse to put money in their pockets. After all, I'm sure someone could make the argument that the filmmaker attorney involved is violating ethics rules by perpetuating that company's violation of labor laws. Facts I stated there are also 100% true; there is a law firm dedicated to suing employers who engage in the practice of illegal internships.

If you want to respond & it's still up, use this:

6xbkh-3696822933@job.craigslist.org

And actors I will definitely note who your manager or agent is & if I know that they are violators of labor laws or doing something remotely shady or unethical that I don't want our company perpetuating by giving them money (or my license being at issue as a result), I will have to pass on you. Sorry you'll have to suffer but you need to take some responsibility for your career & presentation as well. If you want to get someplace with legitimate folks, you need to have credible representatives who aren't breaking laws or abusing others.

Think about how they'll treat you if they treat their interns like shit.

Oh, and there are more reasons for you new attorneys & writers to be pissed off at employers and wish for the owners/management to be immersed head first into vats of hydrochloric acid (HCl for the science geeks; I used it enough in Chemistry lab--I got enough warnings about it being nasty stuff without deciding to go find out for myself). Feast your eyes on these ads:

Blogger Interns Wanted (remote)

Digital marketing consultancy seeks qualified blogging interns.

Learn the business and increase your body of work.

Send resume and writing samples.

College credit available if applicable.

Location: remote
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

Posting ID: 357974497

This is called "volunteer work." No one's learning anything from this. You can't be a "blogging intern;" you're either a paid professional writer or an amateur/volunteer writer. As far as I'm concerned, most commercial writing should be paid for though at least these people aren't as prickish as they could be: you can work at home.

However, I see nothing about bylines or attribution for your work so why would you bother if you can't even use the samples to get a paying job?

Now, for you new lawyers:

Law Office Intern - Volunteer (Brighton Beach )
Personal Injury Law Office in South Brooklyn needs Intern-Volunteer. We are looking for a person to work full time M-F and be able to commit to work for at least three months.

Small compensation will be provided. Position may lead to future employment.

Experience with personal injury and SAGA preferred.

Please respond by email as to your availability and attach resume.

Location: Brighton Beach
Compensation: Intern - Volunteer
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

I responded to this since I'm an attorney & was shocked to see this ad.

Full time internships are illegal. Go read up on state & federal labor laws.

Furthermore, you're a law firm & whoever owns it is subject to legal ethics rules. I know the ethics rules of NY state apply to Brighton Beach/South Brooklyn. Have some respect for the person if you're already paying some compensation & use the term "assistant" instead of "intern" or "volunteer." That's just insulting & could easily get you disciplined for violating the law.

Do YOU "volunteer" your legal services to clients? If you don't, then maybe you should try getting a clue & having some humanity toward others. You're definitely not helping the reputation of personal injury attorneys and firms with an ad like this.

Seriously, if you're already paying someone for something why are you demeaning them by calling them an "intern?" That's an insult in my book if you are making them work full time. Stop being an asshole & call that person what they are: an employee. Even an independent contractor/freelance arrangement for temporary full time work is better than calling someone an "intern."

This will also piss you off if you live in the area:

Part time attorney needed (Mamaroneck, NY)

Entry level, part time (minimum 20 hours) attorney for a law firm located in Mamaroneck, NY. The firm does civil litigation in both state court and arbitration, and criminal litigation as well. Morning hours only. Your duties will include:

- Case preparation for both litigation and arbitration matters
- Court appearances in both civil, criminal court & arbitration hearings
- Trials
- Legal research, writing & motion practice
- Handling new client inquiries and existing client customer service
- Communicating with courts and other law firms
- Settling civil cases

Military veterans encouraged to apply. If you are over qualified but none the less desire to apply we will entertain your application but we are firm on the starting compensation. All interested candidates please send your resume via e-mail.

Location: Mamaroneck, NY
Compensation: $15.00 an hour non-negotiable
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Reply: vzzqg-3673763465@job.craigslist.org

Why should you new attorneys be pissed off by this? I made $15 an hour on my last freelance gig & didn't have to do legal work. The work study rate at my law school legal clinic for working in the summer was $10 an hour.

Oh, and they "are firm on the starting compensation" even if someone's got years of experience but just needs a fair wage to pay student loans and put food on the table. I think this firm's partners need to live on the streets for a while. Maybe have to rely on food stamps, not be able to pay student loan debt. Sounds like these people are of the ilk that have "hobo parties" at Christmas like that one Wall Street firm did.

If you're wondering why people don't respect the legal profession or numerous attorneys hate other attorneys, especially on a generational level, look no further than these ads.

And this little gem:

In House Attorney Needed (Queens) (Queens)

In House Attorney Needed (Queens)
In house attorney needed for a busy car rental location. We need someone who specializes in labor law, insurance claims, some real estate, and small claims.

Must be great with Motions, Excellent writer and have good research skills.
Can work part time or full time starting salary 30 K
Serious inquiries ONLY
Essential Duties and Responsibilities:
-------------------------------------
* Handling a variety of legal/business matters pertaining to the organization, including providing corporate and commercial legal services.
* Assist the corporation in preparing customers contracts.
* Draft, review and negotiate a variety of contracts related to project development and finance.
* Provide legal advice and recommendations regarding corporate policies and compliance with state and federal laws.
* Pursue legal action against individuals and firms that have breached contracts and caused damage to the firm.
* Review, file and prepare various applications and registrations.
* Prepare documentation to avoid contract disputes with clients.

Requirements
--------------
* 1+ years' experience either with a law firm or in an in-house situation.
* Proven experience in contract negotiations, problem solving and management of risks.
* Proven experience in completing complex transactions
* Commitment to professionalism; flexibility as to the types of projects assigned; and solid business acumen required.
* Ability to multitask
* Strong work ethic and high professional and ethical standards

Sorry, bitches. If you want MY in-house expertise you're going to have to pay me far more than $30K a year. Let's break down the hourly salary for that, shall we?

30,000/12 = $2500 a month

2500/4 = $625

625/40 (though the number could easily be higher with a legal job but let's make this a minimum amount of hours you'd be expected to work) = $15.63 an hour

625/20 (the average part-time hours but with a legal job, assume you'll be expected to do more) = $31.25 an hour

This is not even taking into account taxes. Let's do that now & assume you're taking 25% out for taxes (either you personally or the employer).

2500 x .25 = $625

2500 - 625 = $1875 per month

How much are YOUR student loan debts in a month? Would this amount even cover those? If you're working full time, is this even worth it?

NYC rent would eat up nearly all this paycheck (even in Queens) unless you had roommates, lived in a rent control/stabilized apartment, got housing from Mommy & Daddy, had no children, lived in the boonies where there's zero viable public transit (where your costs would be gobbled up by travel expenses from driving) and weren't the bread winner.

I made $25K when working in a mid-sized law firm pre-law school. Oh, and 1+ year of experience is NOT entry level. Even $30k entry level for an attorney after all the schooling & student loans 90% of us have to incur is an insult.

Crap like this says to me "We want a trust fund baby to do this vs. an actual professional who can interact with the general public without being a total asshole." This is a business owner that announces to me that they do not respect or value legal services to offer such a pathetic rate.

This is a paralegal wage, not a wage for a licensed attorney subjected to ethics rules & who has to pay for CLEs, bar association fees, malpractice insurance, student loan payments, etc.

What "excellent writer" is going to jump on this? Even a trust fund baby who could have gone to Harvard would be able to get far more lucrative job offers than this insult. I would hope any of you who read this blog & aren't dealing with student loans or came from some Ivy League school i.e. could get a BigLaw job in 5 seconds would be insulted by this on general principle.

On the other hand, I saw this ad & never got a response despite the fact that I'd be perfect for such a thing:

Seeking Marketing Partner (Midtown East)

This is not a job- I am seeking a law partner.

Experienced business attorney (15+ yrs.) seeks licensed attorney who enjoys the rainmaking and marketing aspects of business. My practice is in business law including contracts, leasing, licensing, debt negotiations and real estate. My practice already exists and has nice websites. I seek a law partner who is a skilled and dynamic marketer. I provide the skills and experience and will handle the client work.

You must be serious, committed and be able to start in your own practice. No capital is needed, but time must be invested. Experience in law is not as important as being a persistent people-person, make a great in-person presentation and have good networking skills or good existing business contacts.

Thank you.

I would love this opportunity. Somehow, this attorney figured out the perfect arrangement for this legal warrior. Why is it so ideal for me?

1. I don't want to leave my field of interest but as we all know, very few entertainment professionals make a living solely from entertainment work.

2. "Rainmaking" & "marketing" are synonymous with NETWORKING & HUSTLING. These are things I have done a lot in my career. When you own a business, you have to.

If you've got passion for something, it's also very easy to do. People have said to me that my passion for my business/the entertainment industry is obvious & undeniable.

So, could I do this? Yeah! Actually, hell fucking yeah.

3. Most attorneys aren't good at selling themselves. Many will outright tell you this. Few actually do what this lawyer did & actively seek out a partner to just handle that stuff. They try to do it all or make someone do the marketing/rainmaking AND do cases.

4. I don't want to do the client work. I tried doing that; it didn't work well for me. Litigation & court proceedings in particular are not something I consider a solo endeavor. I could do them in a team but not all alone. If it's not an entertainment or strictly transactional matter with a limited duration, I don't want to deal with it. No one I've encountered has bothered to consider paying me a fair rate for it.

My particular circumstances don't even allow me to invest in years on a case.

I want to know why in God's name I can't do this for some firm. Why can't some established attorney/firm realize that it's not good at marketing to some target population & outsource to someone who IS personable, accessible, understands the attorney perspective + has my looks? Most female attorneys aren't getting mistaken for actresses like I often do.

Most don't have the acting training or even my contacts, especially at the stage I'm in. Oh, and show me the attorney you're going to remember after a second meeting.

The only people who don't remember me after meeting me once have mental defects or are just aching to be my future victims if I ever have to go on that crime spree since it would require little for me to victimize them.

It feels like the only way you could do this is if you do BOTH the legal work & the networking, work on commission (which I refuse to do when I'd have to travel, go to networking events, lunch, meetings, etc.) or deal with someone who isn't established enough to pay you a fair wage. You also can't get most attorneys to admit that they have shortcomings & maybe bother being fair to someone who has the skills they don't.

I think $50K a year minimum is more than fair for me to do such things or equity in a profitable practice with coverage for travel costs, admission fees to events, etc. along with autonomy for me & a reduced salary that will still cover student loan payments that's not based exclusively on commission or a draw.

I don't make beelines for people 5 seconds after I arrive someplace & I'm not a huckster. Let me work my way & don't penalize me if I don't bat 1,000 every single time.

A fair job where I made $50K a year would be fine for me but apparently, the employers I see posting ads act like asking for it is akin to demanding one of those $1,000 gold flaked sundaes from Serendipity 3 served on a silver platter (even if you have prior experience). Frankly, if someone can't meet my minimum, they've told me they have no respect for me or my abilities which = they are assholes & I don't want to deal with them. Would you?

Find me that firm or attorney. Seriously, I'd consider such an arrangement. With my name & heightened profile, it looks like you'd be dumb not to talk to me about such things. The average person doesn't want to talk to a stuffy BigLaw suit; they want a living, breathing human being they can shoot the breeze with and let their hair down around.

Oh, and at least one person is just as fed up as me with stupid bullshit ads on Craig's List:

NO BUDGET? NO PHOTOGRAPHER! (New York)

Anyone out there either starting out or looking for work, don't sell yourself short.

If you hear all these idiots on craigslist with "no budget" but in dire need of a photographer, DO NOT TAKE THE JOB. These people will never give you paid work. There will never be any perks to these jobs. These are takers, not givers. Credits on shitty blogs and websites do not pay the bills and unless they're getting over 100k users hitting there sites daily, it won't mean jack shit for you.

If a company wants quality work and a professional, then they have a budget. If they're too greedy to pay for a photographer, why should you give away your hard work and time for free?

Every day I see more and more of these posts and it's unacceptable. We have to stand together and mark them all as spam. Respond to these posts and tell them how it doesn't work that way. I know I do! We have bills to pay like everyone else. We work hard, we don't ask people for free advertising or free camera gear. We pay just like everyone else.

Don't give in to this bullshit! NO BUDGET? NO PHOTOGRAPHER!

STAND STRONG PEOPLE!

Location: New York
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

Finally, I've had some people who got called out for BS ads bitch and moan about me doing so.

Well, guess what dummy? You post something stupid for public consumption & you deserve all the ridicule you get. Oh, I offended you or you think I'm a psycho, mean, a bully?!?!? Doesn't change the fact that you're a dumbass or a piece of garbage who needs to be taken out for the good of mankind.

You also EARN nice from me; it's not a right or an entitlement. Go fuck yourself with such demands of total strangers, especially those who are attorneys. We're the Sophia Petrillos of the world so lie down & get used to it!

If you aren't speaking out & making change in the world, you are part of the problem. Don't bitch about things if you aren't willing to speak out, be a pain in the ass when needed & create change. No one wants to hear it, least of all me.

Cats: Why They Are Awesome & I'll Take a Kitten Over a Baby

Once again, real life has interrupted my updating this blog. A friend of mine that my husband hates got sworn into NY on Wednesday & I volunteered to go since no one else was (plus it was a simple subway ride for me to get there). I felt bad since I know what it's like to do things in life & not have anyone be there for you or even just dismiss your accomplishments. He got motioned in but I still felt it was something that warranted someone showing up for. I'm still the only person in my entire family (including extended and in-laws) to have taken the bar exam, much less be an attorney. Motioning in or not, it's still a bigger deal than putting on your clothing all by yourself in the morning or walking to the street corner (assuming you haven't suffered grave personal injury that would prevent you from doing this already).

I even altered my normal sleep schedule to do this & wore makeup (since a swearing in is always at the courthouse, where you're expected to look nice & I didn't want to go with zits showing on my face). I doubt my friend cared but it was one of those girly isms of not wanting to look totally sloppy.

The only person who came to my CT swearing in was my husband & he's been the only one to go to my company's events. I'm not even sure my family would attend even if there were a screening of one of my films in their town or nearby.

On top of this, my father got into a car accident on Monday night that totaled my first & only car (the one I used while living in Atlanta and CT; I guess a 10+ year run isn't bad but still). He ended up getting a hairline fracture near his knee, has to do physical therapy, is out of commission for a while & my family's got enough shit going on already.

THEN, we've had this stray cat in our neighborhood that is super affectionate. On Monday evening, when it was snowing & cold outside, I came home to find this cat in our apartment entryway. I was puzzled about it but my husband said he felt bad for the cat & that he could no longer watch her suffer outside (particularly since our neighbor saw an issue with the cat's leg & I said we'd have to take in the cat if she were injured or in danger of being abused if she stayed out). He was going to take her in that night in a carrier we'd planned to get rid of since it inspired terror in our cat but the cat got outside before he could.

On Thursday, he got the cat into our house. The scary thing is that cat went right in the carrier & later was sleeping in it. I've never seen a cat be cooperative with one of those & I've had cats most of my life. You can tell this cat is STARVED for affection. She's currently in our bathroom until we get her checked out by the vet on Monday. We found a local one with acceptable reviews to me that exclusively does house calls. I don't want my cat getting sick or harmed b/c of my husband's pity for this stray cat.

If we keep her, we'd also have to get her declawed since our current cat is declawed. I'm not a proponent of doing that since it hurts cats to do that to them. However, it's not fair to put a clawed and declawed cat together. My cat also has a history of hating other creatures (though he loves me). We're trying to see about getting her a home but anything we're going to do is essentially on hold until the vet sees her on Monday.

At least we did pick out a name for her: Ortensia. If you figure out the reference, you get 100 points. I looked at her after hearing this name suggestion & thought "She DOES look like an Ortensia."

What do you think?



Our bathroom is essentially a closet but it seems to be working for her right now. Here's another shot I got of her where she's looking up:



This cat is so extremely affectionate that you can tell she belonged to someone before. I also don't think she was treated well based on what we've seen her do & how she treats even basic affection and attention.

The alpha cat has not been around Ortensia so much b/c of safety but he knows she's there & he can't go into his bathroom. She also doesn't drink from the sink like he does.

From what we hear, apparently some tenants who lived in this building abandoned this cat & moved to Virginia. My husband plans to pay a little visit next time we're in that area.

If this cat actually belongs to someone, they are the biggest deadbeats around. The cat has NO collar (well, didn't but we fixed that), was being fed by others who took pity, kept trying to get into our building & for fuck's sake, THIS IS NYC!!! You don't let a cat roam outside when you're living in the city & surrounded by a bunch of apartment homes with no front yards but a busy street and sidewalk. She doesn't even appear to have a name since she responded when noise is made or to general greetings like "kitty."

When it comes to cats, I'm very passionate about decent treatment to them. After all, they kill mice (how many kids have you seen doing that?), kill & point out bugs, eat some of this stuff they kill, don't have to be walked (if you're too lazy to clean a litter box, you sure don't need to have children & change dirty diapers) and they don't play mind games with you. If a cat doesn't like you, they don't pretend and then gossip about you behind your back like a human would. They're not racist, sexist or ageist.

As long as you're nice to them, maybe give them a treat from time to time, they'll be your buddy. Kids certainly aren't that way; you can be the nicest, coolest parent out there & get rewarded with nastiness, ungrateful behavior or other various shitty treatment. Cats are a trillion times easier. Maybe living up to childfree stereotypes but I totally prefer cats to kids per capita. Individual factors definitely play a role but if you gave me a choice, I'd take a kitten over a baby in a heartbeat. I actually know something about caring for a kitten.

When I say I'm "very passionate" about proper treatment of cats, I mean that I could probably get off on violence against an animal abuser based on temporary insanity. Let me tell you a story to illustrate this.

My ex-friend decided to take in a stray that was hanging around her cousin's beauty salon when I was staying in her home after graduating college. I helped her out on this.

Her husband came home & kicked the carrier after arguing with my ex-friend. I was in a different room at the time but could see & hear the action.

The instant he did this, I zoom over to him and stand right in his face literally robbing him of personal space. Seems I scared the hell out of him. It was 100% instinct. Any social cues or niceties left me when I saw that since it pissed me the fuck off. I think it took less than a second or two for me to get there.

After that, he was far nicer to that cat.

What's the lesson? Don't fuck with me when it comes to animal abuse. This includes ditching your cat b/c you decided to have a baby.

Guess what, fuckers? My sister and I were raised with multiple cats around us. We were taught to be respectful to the cats. My parents would not have dreamed of getting rid of any of our cats because of having a baby. My sister currently lives with my parents and her small kids; she hasn't even dared asking them to get rid of their cats to cater to her little kids. Nope, her kids have to actually treat the cats with respect & she bothers to PARENT!

By 5/6 years old, we knew how to properly hold a kitten & not be fucking assholes to them or any other conventional pets. We didn't die & the Earth is still turning. I'm doing what I do now so obviously you're full of crap to go tossing pets out like they are an old TV set or a bed that broke.

Being abusive to an animal tells me that you are a sub-human piece of garbage who is not entitled to the same rights the rest of us share. Therefore, what does it matter how you feel or what you think? I don't give a damn since you find it awesome to be abusive to dogs & cats. I also feel people like that have zero business breeding. What will they do if they have a baby who cries all the time or has a neurological condition? Are they going to just toss that baby in the dumpster b/c it became "inconvenient?" If they think it would be monstrous to do that, then why the difference to a cat?

For me, if you think there's a difference, you are a scumbag & have mental problems. The irony here is that apparently sociopaths have more regard for animals than human beings. Tony Soprano cared about a mistreated horse about as much as I do about cats.

I don't give a shit about your financial condition. Would you leave your kid by the side of the road b/c (s)he was too expensive? Then why is it okay to leave a cat, a so-called member of the family that formed a bond with you & whom you've put money into? If you had it declawed & you're doing that, you are right up there with an adult who exposes kids to known child molesters, pimps, rapists and any other "bad element" that would rob that child of his/her soul, physical being, etc. My parents don't have money either but they'd never abandon their cats. This was also true when I was a kid living there.

Am I a sociopath b/c I care more about cats than humans? I don't know. If I am, I'm no worse than any other person in my position or field. Plus, I think how one treats the lesser of us shows how much character someone has. Someone who's shitty to a dog or a cat? Tells me you're a person I'll be avoiding & balling out for being such an asshole. Character transcends social class, race, age, everything. It's something you have or you don't, much like class.

If my feeling as I do about animal abusers makes me a sociopath, then I'll wear that title proudly just as I wear it proudly than an ex (who was also 14 years older than me) said I had the capacity to be Livia Soprano.

Pets Aren't Children or Dolls & God's Bitch Slap

After watching the new episode of My Cat From Hell (I've warned my cat not to get any ideas from it) on Saturday, I saw Jackson Galaxy get mad over something that is also a peeve of mine. I don't think I've covered it so for those of you who haven't seen that episode, I'm going to share it.

He was annoyed because he was dealing with a case of a woman dressing her dogs in clothing. These assholes even tried putting something on the cat later on to calm him down (though the real problem was the mother who refused to treat her dogs as dogs; she was treating them like babies).

What is with dressing dogs in clothing? I can understand a sweater if you're going outside in a blizzard or something but to make that a uniform? Uncool! When I was little, we tried putting our T-shirts on our cats & they hated it. I had only one cat that actually purred when she was in one. Know how many I had growing up? Well over 20 in the course of my childhood. At one time, we had 13 because of the birth of kittens.

Generally speaking, I'm not for dressing animals up but that's especially true if you're forcing them into clothing. Stop doing that, you asshat!!! They are NOT babies!

Maybe we should force YOU to wear something & see how YOU like it. Plus, if you want a baby so much maybe you should go have one or adopt. There are certainly enough unwanted kids in this country for you to pick from.

Though if you think only adoption agencies for humans are strict, you'd be wrong. Consider this piece about rescue shelters. After reading it, I concluded that I'd rather just get a cat from the local animal shelter or through acquaintances. My family generally got cats because we had quite a few that lived outdoors & people dropped them off at our house, figuring they'd get fed. We also had cats just show up at our house & start eating food alongside the outdoor cats.

My mom even named one Heath Barkley after a character on Bonanza because, according to her (I've not seen Bonanza myself so can't verify this one), the Heath character just showed up one day, was embraced by the family and got a share of the family's money.

I would have to bitch slap someone if they dared to tell me I wasn't qualified to care for a cat, considering I've probably had more experience in my life with cats than most people. Most cats also like me & bond with me pretty quickly; I have a temperamental kitty at home as proof. He hated or had indifference toward my husband's exes but loved me right away. He even slept on the bed with me when I stayed over the very first night he met me (I was sleeping in hubby's bed since we were dating at the time & he slept elsewhere). Cats know the difference b/t people's scents so I figured it was his way of telling my husband "You'd better be nice to HER. That's my human. Don't mess it up!" I also get along better with cats than humans since cats don't pretend to like you then trash you behind your back; with them, what you see is what you get.

Basically, I believe in treating cats as cats. Not to say you can't call them your furry children or put their names on the Christmas cards but don't dress them up in clothes, worry about them being exposed to germs (as I told my father when he insisted on giving our cats bottled water, "They eat dead mice in the woods.") or put diapers on them unless they've having age related issues leading to accidents (meaning you got the okay from a licensed vet & you're not doing some home remedy you found online). I don't force schooling on my cat, take him to psychologists or force him to socialize with other animals. I love him but we realize he is a cat. A very smart cat, but a cat.

Now, if you believe people can bitch slap others, I think God is also capable of it. For instance, I think the whole Issac situation is God's bitch slap to Republicans trying to take free will from women. Hey, if these idiots claim tornadoes & hurricanes are God's punishment for society's moral decay I can certainly say Issac is God bitch slapping these Republicans for using His name to promote their shitty, fascist, non-religious agendas that completely violate His word. No God I believe in would ever put his marching orders into the mouths of people like Paul Ryan, Todd Akin or Michelle Bachmann. I think they have some unpleasant surprises waiting for them in the after life along with their religious sponsors but that's a whole other story.

Apparently, that black hole I no longer associate with also (in my view at least) got a bitch slap from God by way of a miscarriage. Guess who the daddy was? Yep, same deadbeat guy. This man must have a magical penis or something since sane women would never sleep with a guy who's unemployed, has zero ambition & a baby mama who has so little regard for her child that she's letting the other woman watch it (and he apparently is sleeping with other women). Thank God I got out of NC and that old neighborhood! It seems that place has turned into some sexual candy store for young, mostly illegal Mexican men.

So if you're into classless white women who like being bossed around (not natural redheads, though), it seems you'd be very happy in my hometown if you're under 35, hail from Mexico and have zero ambition. Maybe you could even get a green card marriage & not have to worry about an anchor baby. Apparently, white women with no self-esteem believe you've literally got a magic penis. I don't get it myself but I feel like I at least dodged a bullet. I couldn't in good conscience pray for this black hole after hearing about that miscarriage. I can only hope that maybe God's bitch slap will get through & this person will straighten out her life, be a proper parent, right the wrongs she caused and accept some responsibility for her actions. That, however may be way too much to hope for or expect. I still assert that you can be a decent person without being religious; she just needs to take care of her responsibilities, decide what she wants to do in life & regain some self-respect, integrity, etc.

Yes, sometimes things that happen to you in life are God's way of bitch slapping you for being stupid. When words don't work, a bitch slap will sometimes get the job done.